“Of course,” Josh said, his heart constricting painfully as he pushed to his feet. “You know, I think I’m going to head back to the cottage and take a nap. When you see Cole, will you tell him?”
“Sure.” Duke stood as well, looking concerned. “Are you sure you’re feeling okay? You look pale.”
“Long day,” Josh said, forcing a smile onto his face. “I’ll be fine after some rest.”
He turned and walked away, doing his best to hold back the tears until he was beyond the tree line. Then they fell freely down his face, blurring his eyes as he stumbled through the woods.
Cole lied to him. This was never about the alpha falling for him. They’d figured out he was a Keeper, something they badly needed for their pack. Josh was far from the ideal candidate, but he’d do for now. How long would it be before they found someone better? Someone to replace him? He had no doubt that the moment they did, he’d be kicked to the curb. Packs like this wouldn’t keep people like him around, not if they had any choice in the matter.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Cole jumped out of the truck the second Thorn slowed to a stop. He jogged through the rain and into the packhouse.
“Josh?” he asked Oliver when he met him in the hall.
“I saw him outside with Duke and Jack not that long ago,” Oliver said. “I think they’re in the living room.”
“How’d it go?”
“It was rough on him,” Oliver admitted. “But he held up well. The detectives will be in touch again in a few days. I’d say Josh is in dire need of some food and comfort right about now.”
“Coming right up,” Cole promised. “Just as soon as I can get him back to the cottage.”
He continued through the house, finding Duke and Jack in the living room but no Josh.
“Have you seen—”
“He took off for the cottage twenty minutes ago. Said he needed a nap. He looked exhausted and a bit upset, actually.”
“Damn it,” Cole said softly. “Thanks, I’ll head back now.”
He got the keys from Thorn and called to Brax as he left, dashing out to his truck. He hoped Josh had reached the cottage before the rain started. His unease grew the closer he got to home. This wasn’t the first time Josh had taken off back to the cottage for refuge. But this felt different.
He parked by the door and jogged inside. Before he’d even stepped foot in the door, he knew Josh wasn’t there. He checked the omega’s bedroom. His bags were missing, all his clothes gone.
“Josh?”
There was no answer to his yell, but he knew there wouldn’t be. He checked the rest of the house. There was no sign of him and no sign that he’d ever been there, not even a note. He was gone, and Cole didn’t understand why.
Checking his watch, he headed back to the front door. Josh hadn’t planned to leave, of that he was sure. So he couldn’t have been gone that long, and he had to be on foot. There was only one cab service in town, and they didn’t like to come out this far on a whim.
Cole jumped back into his truck and drove out of the driveway, turning left toward town instead of right toward the packhouse. If Josh had gone this way, he’d only be a mile or so up the road thanks to being weighed down with bags and hampered by all the rain.
He spotted the omega before he’d even reached the next crossroads. Josh was trudging along the side of the road, his head down, a hood thrown up to shield him from the rain. Cole drove ahead of him and pulled in, jumping out of the car and jogging back to him.
“Josh? What are you doing? Where are you going?”
The omega glanced up, his eyes flashing with fear before anger overtook it.
“That’s none of your business,” he snapped, trying to walk past Cole. “Leave me alone.”
His response left Cole stunned and confused.
“Josh, I don’t understand. Talk to me. What’s happened?” He stepped closer, blocking the omega’s path.
“You lied to me,” Josh yelled. “That’s what happened.”
“I haven’t lied to you. Just stop and talk to me. We can sort this out.”
“No, you’ve said enough. Feeding me all that crap about ‘falling for me’, about wanting more, when all that time you knew I was a Keeper. You didn’t want me; you needed an omega to anchor your pack. And when you find a better one, I’ll be back where I started.”
It took Cole a moment to shake off the shock of Josh’s accusation.
“That’s not what’s happening here, Josh. Not at all. Please, let me explain.”
“Why? So you can tell me more lies? Make empty promises we both know you’ll break when someone better comes along.”
It hurt Cole to hear that Josh had so little trust in him, and worse—so little faith in himself.
The omega stepped around him again. Cole didn’t try to stop him.
“Where will you go?” He had to shout to be heard over the wind and rain.
“Back to Stewart,” Josh admitted, not looking back. “At least I know where I stand with him. No surprises, no disappointments.”
That was the worst possible decision Josh could make right then, and Cole had to make sure he saw that.
“Josh, think this through. You’ve just spent all day telling the police what Stewart has done. They’re going to be questioning him soon.”
“I’ll tell them I’ve changed my mind.”
He followed Josh, walking alongside him.
“It doesn’t work like that. You’ve already reported the crime, provided evidence that it happened. They can’t just pretend you didn’t. If you go back to Stewart, you’ll be in danger.”
Josh’s face crumpled. “What choice have I got? I have nowhere else to go.”
“Then stay and talk,” Cole pleaded, grasping his arm. “Please.”
Josh pushed him away, then shoved him again, his face a mask of hurt and anger.
“Stop it. Stop pretending you care. You alphas are all the same. You’re just out for what you can get from me.”
Cole could see words weren’t going to be enough to get through to Josh. He reached for him when Josh went to turn away but stopped at the flash of fear in his eyes. Instead, he sank to his knees on the ground, the rain soaking through his jeans, and lifted his eyes to look at Josh. The rain poured over his head and ran down his face, mingling with the tears.
“I fucked up, Josh. I should have told you that we suspected you might be a Keeper. I didn’t, and that’s on me. But it’s not for the reason you think. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want this to happen. Didn’t want you to think that you being a Keeper was what I saw in you. Because it’s not. That is not how mating in a pack works. Brax doesn’t love Oliver because he’s a Defender. And I don’t love you because you might be a Keeper.”
Josh was listening, and he wasn’t running away. It wasn’t much, but it was something.
“I love you,” he said, praying Josh heard him. “Because you’re you. You’re fierce and brave. You’re not afraid to let your opinion be heard or to call out bullshit when you hear it.”
He pushed slowly to his feet, keeping his hands by his sides, doing his best not to look like a threat right then.
“I held off on talking to you about the pack stuff, because I didn’t want to scare you off. It’s a big fucking responsibility to join a pack. I feel the weight of it every day. I wanted you to walk in with open eyes, not out of desperation, not because you felt cornered and out of options.”
Josh was calming down, really hearing him. The omega let one of his bags slip off his shoulder and fall to the ground.
“But my being a Keeper is important to your pack?” he asked. “It would make a difference?”
“Yeah.” Cole wasn’t going to sugarcoat it. “We would be lucky to have you, Josh. And I don’t mean as a stand-in, as the person holding down the fort while we looked for someone better. I mean we’d be lucky to have you. As a Keeper, you have so many choices. The military would snap you up in an instant, train you as
an Anchor to work with one of their alpha teams. You’d walk into a nursing scholarship anywhere in the country with a little effort. And that’s just for starters. There are easily half a dozen other paths you could take.”
Josh stared wide-eyed at him but didn’t speak.
“That’s why I haven’t brought it up yet. This is a big conversation, Josh. Last week, all we had were suspicions that you might be a Keeper. I didn’t want to rush any of this. I wanted to focus on you and me.”
Josh's shoulders heaved. He looked away, and then back at Cole.
“Someone should have told Duke that. He kind of spilled the beans.”
Cole grimaced, then shook his head ruefully. “He got a little ahead of himself. He’s just excited; we all are. But we also know that we don’t look like the most appealing prospect to someone with your undiscovered talent for anchoring. Plenty of people, omegas especially, won’t come within a mile of a pack.”
Josh stepped closer. “So you and me, is that…”
“That’s real. More than real, Josh. You and me, and you and the pack… those are two separate but interwoven issues. I didn’t want them confused with one another. That’s why I waited on bringing the Keeper thing up. I’m sorry. Really and truly. Can you forgive me?”
Josh shook his head, and Cole’s heart sank until he heard the omega’s next words.
“I’m an idiot.”
“No. You’re just someone who, understandably, has some serious trust issues. Who just happens to have had the misfortune to attract a guy with serious communication problems. We can work on that. All of that. But later. Can I please just get you out of the rain and home? It’s killing me to watch you standing out here. You’re going to catch pneumonia.”
Josh gave a half-sob, half-laugh.
“Please,” he said, pushing forward into Cole’s arms.
Cole hugged him tightly, then guided him to the truck, helping him in and stowing his bags. He turned up the heat to maximum, slammed the door shut, and turned them around, heading back toward the cottage.
As they drove, he kept half an eye on the road, the rest of his attention on Josh. He had to remind himself every few seconds that Josh was okay, he was safe. And he was going to stay that way.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Josh had a towel in his hand. He hadn’t quite figured out why. As he stood in the living room, watching Cole get the fire going, he wondered how he’d ended up back there. His emotions from before, those familiar feelings of betrayal and disappointment, were muted now. Distant. So he just stood there, watching Cole, feeling the soft fabric of the towel beneath his fingers.
The little spark of flame grew bigger as Cole fed wood chips into the fire. Josh watched it, entranced, aware that he was shaking and shivering as much as the flame seemed to be.
“There,” Cole said, standing up and turning toward Josh. “It’s taken. It won’t be long before it—” He caught sight of Josh and cursed softly.
Josh stared up at him as the alpha slowly approached, his hands outstretched. He took the bunched-up towel from Josh’s hands and set it aside.
“Let’s get you out of those wet things, hey?”
Josh glanced down at himself. His clothes had darkened in color, weighing him down and sticking to his skin. No clothes seemed better than wet clothes. His fingers shook as he reached for his jacket, but Cole was there to help, guiding it off his arms and dropping it onto the floor. His T-shirt came next, peeling off his back and chest, settling onto the floor next to his jacket. A sad little pile.
He glanced up to see Cole watching him expectantly but unsure why.
“Pants?” the alpha asked.
Josh stared at him blankly, and then the alpha reached for his jeans, tugging them down his legs and off. His boxers were next, and Josh was happy to be free of the damp material. Before he had time to consider his nakedness, Cole had picked up the towel again.
“Dry off with this,” he said with gentle firmness, pressing it into Josh’s hands. “I’ll get you some clothes.”
Josh’s bags were sitting by the door. Cole cursed as he unzipped the first one and stuck his hand in.
“The rain’s soaked right through. Nothing’s dry. I’ll get you something of mine.”
Josh watched him leave, coming to his senses enough to start drying off with the towel in his hand. The fire crackled louder, the first hints of heat rolling off it. It only made Josh more aware of how cold and wet he was.
By the time Cole returned with a bundle of blankets and a small pile of clothes, Josh was wringing the worst of the water out of his hair.
Cole tossed the blankets down onto the floor in front of the fire and brought the clothes over to Josh.
“Here,” he said, pulling a T-shirt from the pile. “Put this on.”
He helped Josh get it over his head and slip his arms into the sleeves. Josh’s movements were all wonky and uncoordinated. Being cold sucked. But he was able to tug the hem of the T-shirt down. It hit him at mid-thigh, the worn material soft against his skin. It didn’t escape him that it smelled of Cole, the alpha’s scent heady and soothing at the same time.
“That’s better,” Cole said. “I have some sweatpants,” he added, holding them up, “but I think you’d fall out of them.”
Josh shook his head. “This is good.”
His eyes landed on Cole’s clothes, still sticking to his skin. “Now you.”
“In a second,” Cole promised. “First, let’s get you situated.”
‘Situated’ meant sitting on the plush rug by the fire, wrapped in one of the many blankets Cole had gathered.
While Josh huddled there, Cole stripped in the middle of the room and dried off. There was practiced efficiency to his movements: he wasn’t showing off or trying to get Josh’s attention. But he had it all the same. Josh let his eyes run all along the alpha’s body, appreciating the strong muscles of his shoulders and back, the V of his hips, the length of his—
He only realized he’d been caught staring when Cole laughed softly.
“Can I get dressed?” the alpha teased. “Or do you need a few more minutes.”
Josh sighed, thoroughly distracted from how wet, cold, and miserable he’d been.
“If you have to,” he mumbled.
Cole shrugged a T-shirt on over his head and yanked on a pair of sweatpants. Josh’s disappointment at the loss of his view was eclipsed seconds later when the alpha joined Josh by the fire, sitting right next to him. Cole was quiet but attentive, wrapping another blanket around Josh and urging him closer to the hearth.
“Lie down,” Cole said, folding another blanket to act as a pillow.
He lay down behind Josh, pulling a fourth blanket over them both and pooling their body heat as he settled an arm around him. The heat from the fire soaked into Josh from the front as the alpha’s warmth pressed against his back.
The blankets around him quickly grew to feel scratchy and uncomfortable against his skin. He shuffled around, unwinding them and pushing them away.
“Josh?” Cole asked.
“Too many blankets.”
“But you’re still cold,” the alpha said, trying to wrap him up again.
Josh freed the last blanket and rolled over, pushing himself against Cole’s chest. It wasn’t enough. There were still clothes between them, rough and itchy now where they’d been soft and warm before.
When he tried to pull off his T-shirt, Cole’s hands caught his. “Josh?”
“I want… I need… you. Just you. Not this.” He tugged at his T-shirt in frustration.
“Okay, okay,” Cole said, helping him off with his T-shirt then tugging off his own at Josh’s insistence.
And then they were skin-to-skin, his body pressed to Cole’s. The heat from the alpha was heavenly, and Josh clung to that. The warmth from the fire licked at his back, and he finally started to heat up.
“Better,” he murmured, his face buried in the crook of Cole’s neck.
“Good.” Cole’s
hand cupped Josh’s neck briefly before sliding down to his back. “We’ll have you warm in no time.”
Their body temperature wasn’t the only thing to heat up as the minutes passed. Josh pressed a kiss to Cole’s neck, feeling the alpha shudder against him. He did it again, and again, loving every tiny reaction he pulled from him.
Cole’s hand, which had been pressed against his upper back—a warm, steadying presence—moved higher to cup his neck again. Josh kept up the kissing and stroked his palms across any bare skin he could reach. Which was when Cole’s fingers started kneading the nape of his neck, sending warm bursts of pleasure across his body.
“I want you,” he told the alpha, arching into Cole’s touch.
“What do you want?” Cole asked softly.
“Sex. With you. Here. Now.”
The alpha’s low chuckle sent something stirring in Josh, inching down toward his groin.
Anticipating the alpha’s refusal, Josh tried again. “Please. Pretty please.” He waited with bated breath, expecting to be let down gently.
“Are you sure this is what you want, right now?”
“I’m sure,” he promised, on tenterhooks waiting for Cole’s answer.
“It’s what I want too.” Cole’s fingers danced across the back of Josh’s neck again, prompting a low moan from him.
“I’ve got stuff in my bag,” Josh offered breathlessly. “Condoms.”
He caught the warm smile on Cole’s face before the alpha kissed his lips.
“I’ve got it covered,” Cole promised. “Give me two minutes, okay?”
With one more quick kiss, the alpha left the cocoon of warmth and padded away into the house.
Josh lay back down, watching the door anxiously. He reached a hand back to his neck, pressing idly at the skin there. Cole was big. He’d need all the help he could get.
The alpha returned, tossing a box of condoms and a packet of lube onto the blanket.
Josh made a face at that, prompting Cole to arch an eyebrow in inquiry.
Keeper (The Lost Pack Book 2) Page 14
