by Mary Martel
With that I slip into the bathroom shutting and locking the door behind me.
I’d shower. Then I would eat. Afterwards we would talk. And hopefully when it’s all said and done I won’t regret the decisions I made in getting myself here.
*****
Standing in nothing but a towel swiping my hand over the fogged up mirror in the bathroom I experience a strong sense of déjà vu when I hear a distinctly male voice speaking in low tones from the other room. I’ve been here before in the bathroom eavesdropping on the person in the other room. Only this time it’s not Ian and Riley out there. This time it’s Raylen the Dwarf.
I’ve still no shame in eavesdropping. I even go so far as to press my ear up against the door in order to be able to hear him better.
“She’s resilient.”
I know he’s referring to me but I’d like to know who’s on the other end of the conversation. Is he on the phone with someone? Is there someone in our room with him?
“No harm will come to her, I promise you.”
Well I should hope not. I’ve had more than my share of harm and I’m not itching for more anytime soon.
And who is he reassuring?
“I do not know what she’s feeling because she’s not mentioned him. And, Daisy, you cannot bring this up to him. The Council must not think I’ve interfered in any way or who knows what other asinine thing they might do.”
He’s talking to Daisy. Sweet Daisy the Fairy healer. I wish she were here and not talking to him over the phone.
“No. I wasn’t followed. I’m sure. I would never put her at risk so I’ve been careful… I’ll do my best but I’ve never had to teach someone how to shield their mind before…”
I pull my ear away from the door suddenly uncomfortable. Listening to him talking about me like a child he’s babysitting doesn’t really sit well with me.
I’m not a child and I do not appreciate being talked about like I am one. Admittedly I’m way out of my depths here with this whole new world that’s been opened up to me. There’s a chance I will always be. But I’ll never stand a chance if everyone is always treating me like some kind of fragile girl in constant need of protection and sheltering. It’s a nice gesture in a way but it’s also one that’s wasted on me because I don’t want it.
I want to be informed and educated so I can stand on my own two feet and bravely face what’s ahead of me. Being cocooned and kept in the dark only serves to cripple me.
What I need to do is once again relocate my backbone and hold onto that fucker for all I’m worth as I grab my future by the balls and take control of it.
Starting now.
No one will be keeping me in the dark anymore on things that concern me. Not the Dwarf Raylen and certainly not Ian. Starting now I’m going to learn everything I can about where I’m going and the strange people who occupy it.
Knowledge is power and the more I know the less chance I have of being ignorant and getting blindsided by something I don’t understand.
That is, if I am even welcomed back. For all I know everyone is off their rocker and Ian really doesn’t want me.
You have to remember and you have to come back to him. It’s important that you listen to what I have to say and that you remember, because if you do not come back to him he will spend the rest of his alone and his life will be miserable. Without you he will be living in Hell. Don’t forget and come back to him.
Sighing I take one last long look at myself in the mirror, this time actually looking at myself.
My grey eyes, despite the dark lines underneath them, sparkle with a light I’ve never seen in them before. They shout they’ve got a secret and something dark is hiding behind their grey depths.
My face looks thinner than it did two months ago. Thinner and older. Maybe not wiser, but absolutely older.
A thin pink line resting high on my cheekbone catches my attention. I stare in fascination as my hand rises and the tips of my fingers press not against my bare skin but against my reflection in the mirror.
I’ve avoided this moment since I woke up in a room with Daisy and Traine. Then, later when I’d forgotten them, I still couldn’t look at my reflection in a mirror. Only then I had no idea as to why.
Now I get it. Completely.
The things we experience in life have the ability to shape who we are as a person.
I didn’t want to look myself in the eyes after experiencing Roland’s torture chamber because I was afraid of what I would see in my own face staring back at me.
No, not afraid, more along the lines of terrified.
For the first time in my life my eyes are wide open and I’m looking at… me.
Me, myself, and I. I see it all. The good, the bad, and everything in between. Everything that makes up me.
The past shapes us, molding us into the person we are meant to be.
Staring at myself in the mirror I know, I freaking know, I’m on the right path, and I’m heading in the right direction. If I reach my destination and it doesn’t work out in my favor that’s okay – I’ll be okay.
I have faith in myself and I know I’m strong enough to weather any storm thrown at me. And, in the end, I know I’ll land wherever I’m supposed to be.
On this thought I snap out of my thoughts and come back to me.
I’ve got things to do and gazing at myself isn’t going to accomplish anything.
Nodding in determination, I pick my backpack up off the floor and dig through it for my pajamas.
*****
I bite into a slice of pizza and can’t help the moan that escapes me. Pepperoni, Italian sausage, ham, extra cheese, and topped off with stuffed crust. Brilliant combination worthy of a food induced moan.
After leaving the bathroom Raylen informed me I would be occupying the bed closest to the window, farthest away from the door. I suspect he only did this because we are on the fourth floor and its damn near impossible to reach our window from the outside without an extension ladder.
I don’t even consider protesting this, although, it makes me extremely uncomfortable. His brother died because of me, the possibility of something happening to Raylen because of me as well is unspeakable.
“So, how close are you and Daisy?” I ask around a mouthful of pizza.
When he doesn’t answer right away I glance over to his bed to find him concentrating on plucking all the meat off the top of his pizza.
“Not a big fan of meat?” I ask.
“I do not eat meat,” he states.
What the hell?
“Then why would you order a pizza covered in it?”
“Because you didn’t seem to be all too into vegetables and greens so I figured you enjoy a pizza topped in meat. And what you want you’ll get.”
Good grief.
“That’s ridiculous,” I tell him because it freaking is. Ridiculous and extremely thoughtful. “I would have been absolutely fine with just cheese had you said something.”
“You’re mate to my King,” he says like that explains it all.
And maybe it does. Or, it would if Ian hadn’t been so willing to send me away.
Still, Raylens statement leaves me feeling uncomfortable. This doesn’t sit right with me.
“Listen, Raylen-”
“I think, perhaps, it is you who should listen to me. You’re a whole mess of feelings right now and I can see how everything that’s transpired has left you feeling uneasy at best, but you must come to terms with everything before our return.”
I don’t know what it is exactly that he thinks I need to come to terms with and I don’t bother asking.
“Everything,” he states simply.
Like that really helps me out.
He sighs long and heavy before tossing his pizza on top of the box.
“While you eat I’ll talk. Deal?”
I nod enthusiastically and pick my discarded slice of pizza back up.
“Shifters, for whatever reason, have a hard time conceiving children wit
h one another. During child birth, more often than not, a mate would be… lost.”
I’m assuming lost is his polite word for dead. Which is heartbreaking news.
“There came a time when they looked to the humans to mate with. These humans were brought into the fold of our people as a whole. They were accepted as our own. They bore children who carried the shifter gene same as their fathers and mothers. This went on for years. Peacefully.”
Utterly fascinated, I eat up every word coming out of his mouth. No one had bothered to explain any part of the Supernatural history to me other than Ian and Riley’s tragic family history, and I very much want to learn. I want to learn every tiny little piece of their history.
“Until one day that peacefulness was broken by a human woman named Karen. After years of devoting her life and love to her mate he betrayed her for another human woman.”
Okay, maybe I don’t really want to know every piece of history because this particular piece spells of heartbreak and disaster.
“You see, the initial reason for the Shifters turning to humans to mate was so they could procreate. And after years Karen bore no children.”
This information does not fill me up with warm and fuzzies on the inside. Women being used for the sole purpose of breeding then being scraped off if they didn’t get knocked up. Yeah, no thanks. That’s all kinds of messed up.
“The Shifter she was mated to, unbeknownst to her, went out and found himself a human who could conceive. He did this in secret while he carried on his relationship with Karen. Until the day his mistress bore him a son.”
Poor, poor, Karen.
“I’m sure you can understand why children are so revered amongst the Shifters?”
Oh, I get it. Definitely. But that doesn’t make any of this story right, or okay even.
“You’re right, of course,” he quietly agrees with me. “I’m just retelling the story as I was told it.”
“Please, tell me the rest of it,” I murmur, once again embarrassed by him being able to hear my private thoughts.
“He brought both his mistress and the child to court with him while he lived with his mate, shoving them both right in Karen’s face.”
I’d been right in thinking heartbreak and disaster. But it was more than that. A whole lot more. Absolute devastation, more.
“What a dick.”
Raylen smiles a small, sad smile at me. “Right you are.”
I’m glad he agrees.
“These were different times and women had yet to gain their rights. He felt justified by his actions because he felt as though Karen were to blame by not giving him the child he felt was his due. So he tossed her out.”
I suck in a sharp, horrified breath at this news.
“He wanted her to hurt with the loss of him. He wanted her to be utterly miserable and all alone. So possessed with his need to destroy her life he didn’t do the one thing he should have. He did not wipe her memory of him or his people. He wanted her to have her memory of him and most especially he wanted her to never forget the betrayal he saw her being barren to be. So he threw her out with the knowledge of the Supernatural world in which she’d lived in for years. A world he’d brought her in to.”
By my guess, this is where we get the disaster part. And I’m not wrong.
“She pulled herself together and carried on her life as if he’d never been a part of it. But she did it biding her time and waiting for the right moment to strike. She went to the church. Then she went to the townspeople and she did it all in secret. A small town, an extremely large group of people living just outside the limits. Not all together but in houses littering the woods surrounding a mansion so huge it stuck out like a sore thumb. The townsfolk always gave the outsiders a large berth, feeling something unnatural from them.”
I can only imagine. And this probably has something to do with all the untouched land surrounding the estate Ian grew up on and the shops run by the Supernatural community just up the road from it.
“Karen did not tell them she’d been with Shifter’s and the like. By my guess, she probably feared being locked up in a psychiatric ward for the rest of her life. So she did the next best thing. She convinced the town that the outsiders were a cult of witches and devil worshipers. She’d told people she’d been stolen from her bed in the dead of night by one of these men, raped, and forced to live with them for years. And all the while she’d witnessed the same thing happen to countless other women.”
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Still, maybe that was taking things just a wee bit too far. Getting hers back against the man who’d wronged her I can absolutely see. But taking that out on an entire group of people? Not so much.
“The townspeople came. They set fire to anything in their path. Homes were burned to the ground, but before they went up in flame the windows and doors were boarded over. The people inside burned with the house. Of course, there were some who fought back, and the townspeople suffered their own losses but in the end it was no comparison to ours. Men, women, and children alike all burned together that night. Including Karen’s mate, his mistress, and their child.”
Rendered speechless by the tragic tale, I stare at Raylen in horror.
When I find my voice I use it to weakly ask, “Why would you tell me this, Raylen?”
I don’t think I want another history lesson if it ends like this one. Don’t these people have stories filled with hearts and flowers? One’s without people dying?
“His hands were tied.”
“Who?” I ask in confusion. Certainly he’s not talking about the Shifter from the story.
“My King.”
Now wait a minute. We weren’t talking about Ian at all here. And I really don’t like where this is going.
“Raylen-”
“You can see why the Council would have concerns about you. Why they would want to test you. Mating with a human is all but unheard of these days. And one mated to our King?” He shakes his bald head. “Never heard of. This does not make what happened to you right. They should have gone about testing you a different way.”
I agree wholeheartedly with his last statement.
“What you don’t see though, is that you are a true mate. My King can feel you. He feels your emotions just as you do. It’s a rare and incredible thing. I’m told that when you were with King Roland your emotions brought the true King to his knees. To his knees. You, a mere human girl, brought a man born to be a king to his knees through the bond he shares with you.”
My body stills, my eyes grow round, and I stare at Raylen with my mouth hanging open.
This, none of this, makes any sense. How can it make sense? What he’s saying is insane. Ian can feel my emotions and they brought him to his knees?
My strong and proud, beautiful Ian, brought to his knees with the force of my emotions?
Oh my God, that thought makes me sick to my stomach. If what Raylen says is true and Ian can feel me then this past month must have been pure torture for him. I’ve been a miserable wreck all month long.
“Why… why would they want to take me away from him?” I whisper.
His eyes close halfway through my sentence as if my words are too much for him to hear. When he opens them again his brown eyes are filled with something I don’t quite understand. Regret. Determination. Love?
Yes, I don’t understand what I’m reading in his eyes.
“Honestly, Shayne, I do not know who they are testing anymore, you or him. But, I can assure you, this past month has been no picnic for him either.”
I don’t understand it and definitely don’t like it.
“Then why would he let them send me away?”
“Like I said, his hands were tied. He may be a King but the Council holds a great deal of power. Hopefully that will change in time. Corrupt sons of bitches, the whole lot of them. Think just because they were born into money that gives them the power to lord over us all, even when they’re full of shit.”
A startled la
ugh escapes me.
Red hits his cheeks.
“Pardon my language, my Queen.”
“Oh, no you don’t. You just called me by my name less than a minute ago. Let’s not slip back into this Queen bit.”
“As you wish.”
We slip into an easy conversation, and, much to my delight, as the night wears on I successfully learn how to shield my thoughts. It’s not easy and I can only hold it for a brief period of time, but with a little practice I’ll be a pro in no time.
Feeling more lighthearted than I have in a long time, with the promise of tomorrow and a smile on my face I slip into a dreamless sleep.
Chapter 30
Shayne
I don’t know how it happened but somehow the Dwarf and I became fast friends and not superficial friends either. I learned a great deal about him along with the fact he’s got two more brothers besides the recently deceased Neelan. I apologized profusely for what happened to Neelan and I learned something. Raylen feels the same way about Neelan’s death as Traine had, much to my relief.
We spent out day in the Jeep driving, stopping anywhere along the way that struck our fancy.
Around dinner time Raylen found us a decent hotel to stay the night then we went out exploring the town we were staying in. For the first time in a very long time I found myself relaxing and enjoying myself.
Not so much now.
Now is the day after and we’re cruising down the dirt road that leads to Collette’s house.
This was my idea, heading to Collette’s instead of the estate. I can’t stand the gangly Vampire but I have this unrelenting need to see her. Perhaps, it’s because her voice was the last I heard before my memories had been wiped clean. Maybe it’s because I know her to be honest, outrageously so, and I know she won’t lie to me.
It’s important to me that I find people who will be brutally honest with me before I come face to face with Ian. Some small, smidgen of doubt clings to me where Ian is concerned. The Dwarf tried to talk me out of this but I blew him off every time he brought it up.
