I smiled, then pushed a button, which made the rack of clothes automatically shift to the right and reveal a hidden door.
“What does that lead to?” she asked, intrigued.
“Go ahead and find out for yourself.”
I stepped to the side and allowed her to go open the door for herself. When she did, a staircase was revealed, leading to the rooftop of the penthouse. She followed the stairs, and when she reached the top, she gasped.
The space was filled with beautiful plants and flowers, along with stunning patio furniture. A two-person wooden swing sat facing the most perfect view of the city, leaving her in awe. You could see every single light that twinkled in the distance.
“The city lights,” she whispered, placing her hands over her chest as she stood close to the edge of the railing.
“I know how you love the views,” I said as I walked over toward her with my hands in my pockets. “There are no lights in the world like the eastern lights.”
“That’s the truth.” She smiled as she stared into the night. The sky was fast asleep, yet the city was vibrant with life. “When I was a kid, I used to run away from my foster home whenever I felt overwhelmed and alone. I used to climb up the fire ladders of this one building in Queens, where I could see all the city lights. I’d stand there and breathe in and out as I stared into the night. I don’t know why but seeing the city lights brought me an odd sense of comfort.”
“Why’s that?”
“It’s silly and probably doesn’t make much sense, but I always felt alone as a kid. I didn’t grow up with friends, and I had no family. Lonely was something I thought I’d always be. But it was different when I saw the city lights. It reminded me that even though I felt alone in the world, I wasn’t alone in a sense. Every light stood for a person to me, someone out there who felt love, felt pain, felt life. It was a reminder that even when my life felt dark, there was light around the corner.”
Staring out into the night, I remained quiet, seeing what she saw and loving the way her mind worked.
“As I said, it’s silly,” she whispered, seeming nervous about her confession.
“No, it’s not that.” I shook my head. “I’m just trying to figure out how Jason was stupid enough to let you go.”
Her cheeks reddened as she bashfully fiddled with her fingers. “It wasn’t just Jason—every guy before him. Maybe some girls are simply meant to be temporary things.”
“Maybe,” I agreed. “But I don’t think that’s what you are.”
She smiled. “Everything’s temporary. We just wish it weren’t.” She shifted around and released a soft sigh. “This is quite the view.”
“If you think this is something, you should see it in the fall,” I offered. “And in the winter, and the spring, and as long as you need to see it, you should see it.”
“You really mean this, don’t you? You’re actually offering for me to move in with you?”
“Yes. Of course, you don’t have to say yes, but I want to help. I have the ability to offer this to you, so that’s exactly what I’m doing.”
“That Southern boy heart.” She lightly laughed.
“You can take the boy out of the country,” I said as I shrugged, “but you can’t take the country out of the boy. Take some time to think about it. No rush and no pressure—I just wanted you to have the choice.”
She nibbled her bottom lip. “If we do this, we have to have rules.”
I perked up. “I’m fine with rules. Rules and me go hand in hand. Shoot them my way.”
“Okay. For starters, if it ever gets to be too much for you, you have to tell me.”
“Easy.”
“And if you have a girl over, I am more than willing to go stay at my best friend’s house, so I don’t cock-block.”
Mirth filled my smirk. “Did you just say cock-block?”
“I did, and I mean it. I’m sure you have a rotating list of women you keep in contact with.”
I gasped, and my hands flew dramatically to my chest. “Okay, did you just call me a manwhore? Red, I’m hurt.”
“Hey, you said it, not me. I’m just saying I don’t want to get in the way or change your life too much. I don’t want to be a burden.”
“Nothing about you is a burden.”
“Please stop doing that, Connor.”
“Doing what?”
“Being so ridiculously kind to me.”
“Well, okay, now it’s time for me to be a hard-ass and not so kind, because I have a few ground rules, too.”
“Okay, shoot.”
“For starters, ESPN is the background noise during dinnertime.”
She laughed, and I wanted to dive into the sound and allow it to swallow me whole. God, her laughter was addictive. “I think I can do that.”
“And you can’t get mad when I leave my socks around the apartment.”
“I think that rule should go both ways,” she agreed. “Also, you can’t laugh when my socks are mismatched—which they always will be.”
“Okay, and the last rule: you have to let me know when I’m talking to work Aaliyah or roommate Aaliyah. I don’t want you to quote me on something in an article that I meant to say to my roommate and work Aaliyah got a hold of it.”
“I think I can agree on all of those rules.”
“Well, good. Then do we have a deal?” I held my hand out toward her.
“Deal,” she said, shaking my hand. “But, I will pay rent, you will accept it, and I am officially offering you an IOU for anything and everything you might need from me in the coming days, weeks, or months.”
“Sounds good. I’ll keep that IOU tucked in close to me for when I need it. Welcome home, roomie,” I stated before she dropped my hand.
I looked out to the city lights, took in a deep breath, and released it slowly through my mouth. I didn’t know why, but the idea of Aaliyah staying with me brought a level of peace over me, as if she was always supposed to be there. I was certain she thought I was helping her out, but I felt as if I was the one who’d won. Being around her felt like being around the better part of me.
26
Aaliyah
I was moving in with Connor Roe, my favorite superhero. I couldn’t even wrap my head around the fact, but I felt a strange sense of comfort about the idea. Whenever I was around him, I felt safe, which didn’t make much sense. In the grand scheme of things, we hadn’t known one another that long, but at the same time, I felt as if we’d been connected for years.
Even so, I couldn’t really focus on the move until I handled a certain issue that kept popping up in my life. Ever since the wedding that never happened, I’d received an influx of messages from Jason’s mother. Voicemails, text messages, emails—she’d tried to reach out to me on every platform multiple times.
Marie: Hey, Aaliyah. Are you coming to the book club meeting this week? The ladies are asking about you.
Marie: We should grab a coffee. I miss you, sweetheart.
Marie: Have you heard from my son?
Marie: I know you need space, so no need to respond to any of my messages. Just know that I’m here, and I’m sending them so you know you are loved, and Walter and I miss you. Maybe we can grab a drink, you and me? I’m worried about you.
Marie: You have your scheduled doctor’s appointment this week, right? I had it marked on my calendar. I hope everything is going well. Please let me know, Aaliyah. I’m worried.
I was trying my best to set a boundary with Marie, letting her know I needed time and space to regroup, but I felt awful about the idea of her sitting and worrying about me and my health conditions. Therefore, every now and again, I’d shoot her a text message to let her know I was okay.
Greta from work told me I owed Marie nothing, not even a second of my time or energy. She said Marie was being passive-aggressive with all the messages she sent me, and perhaps that was true. But the guilt of ignoring her messages was getting to me, especially with all she and Walter had done for me in the pas
t. Even though Jason hadn’t treated me right, that didn’t mean his parents hadn’t. Jason and I ending our relationship was one thing, but ending the relationship I had with his parents—Marie more so—was turning out to be harder. I felt my bond with her more than Jason’s and my connection. I considered her a friend.
But after the breakup, I knew Marie would become a casualty of our relationship falling apart. Over time, she’d create reasons in her mind that I was at fault for Jason and me not working out somehow. She wouldn’t even know she was doing it, either. She’d just get information from her son, the child she raised, and he’d manipulate her thoughts into believing he’d been wronged by me.
In the end, she’d always side with her family member. That’s how life works.
I’d officially reached the point when I knew I had to cut the cord between Marie and me. Even if I’d miss her friendship, I knew I had to put a stop to it before it took a toxic turn.
“Thank you for meeting with me, Aaliyah,” Marie said as we sat down in the coffee shop we used to frequent regularly. The comfort and ease I always had with her wasn’t there that morning, though. If anything, I felt entirely out of place sitting across from her, as if I no longer belonged there.
“Of course. I figured after all the messages you’ve sent, we should just get it over with.”
“Get it all over with? What do you mean?” she asked, hurt in her voice.
“Aren’t you looking for closure? I’m not sure what else could happen for us after everything that took place with your son.”
“No, not at all. I refuse to believe you and I cannot stay in one another’s lives. You don’t know what it means to me that you’ve come into my world, that we’d crossed paths all those years ago right here in this café. I love you, Aaliyah, and I don’t want what my son did to change our relationship. Plus…” She hesitated as if she wasn’t certain she wanted to speak her next words. “He still loves you, honey.”
I huffed, completely thrown off and disgusted by her words. “Excuse me?”
She reached across the table, took my hands in hers, and squeezed. “He loves you, Aaliyah. I know he does. He just got cold feet.”
“His toes must be ice crystals by now, seeing as how he hasn’t once tried to reach out to me.”
“I think he’s scared of how much he cares for you. He’s never been that vulnerable with a woman before.”
I pulled my hands away from her hold. “He cheated on me, Marie.”
Her eyes widened, surprised by my words. “What? No. Where did you hear that?”
“I have my sources. Listen, I understand you’re hurting and confused by all this, and I get it. I still am, too, but this is too much for me. You know I care for you, but Jason and I are over.”
“Don’t say that. You haven’t even given a second thought to giving him another chance.”
“I’m sorry…did you not hear me? He cheated on me.”
“Young men cheat sometimes—that’s what they do.”
Her words baffled me to the point that I was left speechless.
That’s what they do? That was her response to finding out Jason cheated on me?
“I’m sure it was an accident,” she told me.
“Did his penis accidentally fall into some woman’s vagina?” I mocked.
I saw the flush of color hit her cheeks, and I couldn’t blame her. That was the most straightforward I’d ever been with her, but there wasn’t really another way around it. He had screwed another woman. There was no accident involved. It was a choice he made.
“I know my son isn’t easy, and he has a history of mistakes, but I see his potential. With the right woman, he could be as stable and grounded as his father. Walter used to be young and wild, too. I tamed him.”
“Potential isn’t something worth staying for because it may never come. Plus, it’s not my responsibility to tame a man.”
She released a heavy sigh. “Maybe if you meet with him. Maybe if you talk in person…” She was spiraling, and it was all becoming a little too much for me. When would she start connecting the dots that whatever it was Jason and I had shared was nothing more than a made-up story? There had been a point when I’d thought what we had was real, but it was wishful thinking.
He wasn’t the only one in the wrong for what had happened. I had make-believed for too long in the situation. I was in a rush, trying to settle down before my time ran out. I wanted a family so much I fell into the arms of a man who was never strong enough to hold me.
I took the blame for the mistakes I’d made, trying to create love in a place where it was never meant to grow. I owned up to my flaws, and I’d have to deal with them in my own time. But I knew for certain that going back to Jason would never, ever be a situation I’d fall back into.
“If he wanted to meet with me, Marie, he could’ve, but he doesn’t, and I don’t want to meet with him either. I’m moving on with my life. I’m moving out of his place this Sunday, and I will be leaving the key at the front desk for him whenever he’s ready to return. It’s over.”
“You can’t truly believe that, Aaliyah. After everything we’ve been through…” The tears fell from her eyes and she wiped them away, only to have more begin to fall. “You’re our family.”
I hated that she was crying. I hated that I was the reason behind her hurting. She’d come into my life at one of my lowest points, when I was scared and alone, and given me comfort, not to mention all the medical expenses she and Walter had covered for me without a second thought. They truly had been my family for a short period.
But if I stayed in her life, I knew it would become toxic. I didn’t want that for either of us.
I shrugged my shoulders and grabbed my to-go cup of coffee. “Maybe some things just aren’t meant to be forever. I’m sorry, Marie. I have to go pack.”
“Where are you moving to?” she asked.
“I don’t really feel comfortable telling you that information.”
She combed her long straightened black hair behind her ears and shook her head. “You’re making a huge mistake, Aaliyah, by walking away from my family.”
It was already happening. She was beginning to shift blame to me, as if I were the one who’d caused the current issues. She made it seem as if I was the one who had called off the wedding and was severing our connection. That blame would only build over time, making me the villain in the story. Leaving now was the best option for everyone involved.
I cleared my throat and stood from the chair. “I wish you the best, Marie, but please, to make this easier for everyone…stop calling.”
I hadn’t received a message from Marie since I told her we needed to cut all ties. Therefore, my attention was completely on packing up my things and moving on from Jason’s world.
Connor went above and beyond to help me with the move. When I tried to talk him out of hiring movers for me, he told me he wouldn’t take no as an answer. “It’s a good reason to get together for an interview session,” he’d said, giving me an excuse to have him help me pack up my boxes.
I took him up on the offer. The sooner the boxes were packed, the sooner I could be out of Jason’s place.
“You’re a collector,” Connor commented, taking my snow globe collection off the bookshelves in the living room.
I looked up from the box of dishes I had sitting on the kitchen countertop. “I like things to look back on. Each snow globe has a story behind it.”
He arched an intrigued brow and lifted one up. “What’s this one from?”
After setting the plate inside the box, I walked over to Connor and took the snow globe from his hand. It was a woman sitting at a desk writing. My lips turned up at the memory that came rushing back to me.
“I got this one the day I graduated from college with my journalism degree.” I placed the snow globe into the box.
“What about this one?” he asked, lifting up another globe.
The moment I saw it, my smile evaporated. I took it from Connor an
d stared at it. There were two ice skaters at Rockefeller Center right in front of the holiday Christmas tree. I shook the snow globe and watched the snowflakes fall over the couple.
“Jason got it for me after his family took me ice skating for the first time,” I explained. I walked over to the trash bin in the kitchen and tossed it inside. “I’d rather not hold on to that. Plus, looking back, it was actually his mom who pressured him to get it for me. He didn’t even spend his money on it.”
Connor crossed his arms. “For some reason, that doesn’t surprise me. His parents are gems.”
“Yeah. I figured over time, he could become more like them. Are you two close? You and Jason?” I asked. I’d been wondering about their relationship, about Connor’s thoughts on the subject since it took place.
He laughed. “Close? No, not at all. Jason and I haven’t always seen eye to eye. Not only on the business side of things but on the lifestyle side, too.”
“Everyone said he was a party animal before me.”
“That’s true.”
“I don’t know why I thought he’d change for me…I don’t know why I thought I’d be the one to tame him, but when we were together at first, it seemed real. He seemed really into me. He gave me all of his time and attention at the beginning.”
“Love bombing—it’s one of his specialties with his new girls. He floods them with time and attention, making them feel like they are the most important thing in his world. Then, he slowly starts to shit on them, to make them feel unworthy of him.”
I huffed. “So, I was just another one of his targets. His whole persona changed when we moved in together.”
“A fraud can only hide its true colors for so long. The mask always falls off.”
Before I could reply, my cell phone began ringing, and Katherine’s name popped up on the screen. “Hello?”
Eastern Lights Page 20
