“I wish more than anything she pulls through. I know you said you lost your husband with liver cancer. Is it the same? Medicine has advanced so much in the seven years he’s been gone?”
“Caroline’s isn’t as advanced as Gary’s. We didn’t find his ‘til the latter stages, and it was too late by then. The stubborn fool refused to go to the doctor. He told me after his diagnosis that he had been sick for a while. I’m his wife! How could I have not known or seen the signs? It tore me up for a very long time — the guilt. He told me not to blame myself. I was running around after three kids. He said it was his fault. He knew there was something seriously wrong, but he couldn’t face the truth. I still to this day feel I’m to blame in some way.”
“Oh, Alana, love, you shouldn’t feel guilty. He was a grown man who could look after himself. If he didn’t tell you he was not feeling well, how could you know there was a problem? Liver cancer is not visible. It’s not like he was cut or broken. It seems to me he was a silent sufferer. Is that right?” She looks so pained. We still have our hands on top of each other.
“Yes, Theon, he was. Gary was a hard-working man who would do anything for his family, which meant he suffered in silence until it was too late.”
I pull my hands away. “I think we need to eat our food. It’s getting cold,” I say, hoping not to offend her. She smiles, then lets out a small laugh. It’s nice she’s smiling.
“I was thinking; we’ve only met a couple of times over the last couple of days, and every time the conversation gets heavy. It must be this place.”
“The situations we’re in doesn’t help. But seriously, Alana, anytime you need to talk, just find me. So, tell me about you then. I know you have three kids. Do you have a partner? Who’s looking after the twins?” I start to eat my food.
“No, I don’t have a partner. It’s just the kids and me. That’s all I have time for. I used to work part-time in a florist. I loved that job, and I always wanted to open my own shop.”
“That’s very creative, so why didn’t you do it?”
“Well, life really. I did that part-time and my other passion I did part-time, but from home.”
“Which was?”
“No, you’ll laugh. I never tell anyone. It’s something I did growing up. I was a bit of a loner and spent a lot of time at home in my room and, well, it was my escape back then.”
I raise my eyebrows at her. “You gonna keep me waiting?” I smile at her. She has a couple of mouthfuls of her food, as do I while watching each other. I’m waiting for her to tell me.
“You’re not gonna leave this until I tell you, are you?”
“Not a chance. I’m intrigued now. I can’t imagine what it is.” She puts her fork down and grabs her water and takes a sip.
“It started, like I said, as an escape, but I found I was good at it. I turned it into a bit of a profession and made some good money.” I raise my brow again.
“Do I need to guess?”
“Have a go, yes. One guess.”
“I can’t think of many things you could do from your bedroom that you found you were good at and made money. Unless?” Oh no, did she perform sexual acts to paying perverts? Please no.
“Unless what?”
Oh shit, what do I say? “You didn’t run a website for paying perverts, did you?” She stares at me, opened-mouthed before she bursts out laughing. Really laughing, laughing so much she’s crying. People around are starting to watch us. I’m laughing at her laughing. She looks so carefree right at this moment, and it strikes me just how beautiful she is. I’ve never really noticed before. We’ve been so consumed with why we’re here in this place. But she’s stunning. This is not the time or place to find someone I’m actually attracted to. I’ve never been attracted to anyone but Evelyn. It’s only ever been her. Your first and last forever. Those words make me stop laughing all of a sudden. She’s my first and last. There can’t be anyone else. My last.
“Oh, Theon. Thank you, so much. I have not laughed in a really long time. I needed that. Thank you.” She squeezes my hand again, and I get tingles running up my arm from her touch. Does she feel it? The way she’s looking at me makes me wonder.
“No, I wasn’t a website call girl, god no. I was short and dumpy or as they used to say fat.”
“Who would say?”
“That’s what I was escaping from. I was bullied at school. You couldn’t go to a Beverley Hills school and be fat. Oh no, that was taboo. After all, this is L.A. right, the land of the beautiful and skinny people. I didn’t get that memo in time. I was short and fat. They called me Augustus Gloop all the time. I used to get tricks played on me, things in my locker and pushed over to see if I rolled. That kind of stuff. I never had any friends, and my only sister was the opposite of me. She was embarrassed by me. She was taller than me and slim. She was a popular girl.”
“Wow, that sucks, Alana. I’m so sorry you went through that.”
“Well, it all turned out for the best. The thing I did in my bedroom was play games. Computer games like Warcraft, Final Fantasy, Legend of Zelda, and I was good; very good. I became a gamer. It started with Warcraft, then went from there. No one knew me behind the console or computer, and I was in my own little bubble with it all. I became popular in that world — who would have thought, me, popular? I then signed up to a gaming company and started testing games for them, which is where I made money. It was a win, win.” She shrugs. Wow, another thing we have in common. There is no way all these coincidences are real. They can’t be. Does she know who I am and is making this up? I’m terrible at trusting people, but there is no way she is a gamer. There is no way she belongs in my world.
“My kids are really good at gaming now. They give me a run for my money, that’s for sure. Bailee, bless her, is better than Bryan, and that gets his back up. He thinks because he is the boy he should be better. We spend many a Saturday night having gaming competitions between us. It’s our family time. Rather than have a film night with popcorn, we have gaming nights with chips. Caroline is good as well, although, she has no interest lately, with not being well. It’s hard for her to concentrate, you know.”
“I can imagine her concentration levels are low. But that’s great you’re a gamer. I would never laugh at that. I like the odd game myself, and Evander is a talented player. Evelina has never shown any interest. She likes her dolls and all that girly stuff too much. The little tinker had me buy a whole set of Monster dolls last week because she was good for Dr. Cassidy. That one has me wrapped around her little finger, that’s for sure.” I laugh at the thought.
“Do you have anyone else in your life, Theon?” I shake my head no and stab at the bit of food left on my plate.
“No, I have never found anyone else. But then I have never looked for anyone else. The twins have taken up all my time, which I’m more than happy about. I do worry sometimes about Evelina and her needing a mother figure. Sonia helps me out a lot, that’s my mother in law. I couldn’t have survived the loss without her help.” I hang my head again. Alana reaches for my hand and squeezes it. I get feelings just from her touch, and I pull my hand back suddenly. I don’t want these strange feelings. I don’t need them, not now. Shit, Alana looks down at her plate sadly. I must have offended her by pulling my hand away. I’m not good at this. I need to get out of here and go for that walk. I can see if she wants to join me, that way there is no touching.
“Hey, do you fancy a little walk in the grounds, I could do with some fresh air before heading back to Evelina?”
“Yeah sure. I could do with some myself.” I hope I’ve diverted the awkwardness.
We walk out of the main doors to the hospital in silence. It isn’t an awkward silence. At least I don’t think it is. We head to the hospital gardens where I first met Alana.
“It’s great to get some air finally. It’s so stuffy when you’re cooped up in there all the time,” I say to make conversation.
“Yes, it is.”
“So, who is l
ooking after the twins while you’re here with Caroline?”
“My sister is staying at my house. Although she hated me when we were younger, we are really close now. Our parents are both gone, so we only have each other. She doesn’t live far from me. She moved back from New York a few years ago to be near me. I couldn’t do any of this without her. She adores the kids and would do anything for them. She found out she couldn’t have children, which in turn split her marriage up, so it’s just us now.”
“Wow, sounds like you have a great sister there. I’m an only child, and so was Evelyn. I was brought up by my grandma, but she passed away a few years before we had the twins. On my side of the family, I have no one apart from the Evs. They are my entire life.” We sit on the bench Alana was on the first time I saw her upset.
“The Evs?”
“Yes, that’s what I call them sometimes Evelina and Evander.”
“Ah, maybe I should call my two the B’s.” She laughs. It’s nice we can have a little laugh when our lives are in such turmoil.
I remember every detail about the Evs from them being born, except the four weeks I was out of it after I lost Evelyn. I remember when we found out we were having a baby.
11 Years earlier
WE’VE BEEN WORKING non-stop. We haven’t even had much time to get away at the weekends, which is what we love to do. Since Grandma passed, we have concentrated on building up the business. We ended up buying the building we had the offices in because of the growth of our company. The floors we don’t currently occupy, we rent out to other companies. We now employ nearly three hundred people. We have a youth program to help any potential game creators out there. The way gaming has tripled over the years, this is definitely the future.
A few years back, we even employed gamers to work from home, testing out some of our games for us. It was great they gave us real feedback, and they got paid for it, so it was a win-win for everyone. We got to improve our games and they got paid for playing at home. The growth in our company was rapid, and it stunned us both. We decided at the grand old age of twenty-five, we would now make more time for ourselves. We had a fantastic management team that Patrick was now capable of running. It was a well-oiled wheel.
Six months ago, we decided to take more holidays to get away from it all. We had been working seven days a week, even though neither of us left the office without the other. We were always together, still choosing to spend our office hours with each other even though we had separate offices. We just worked well together. We loved each other more every day if that was possible. The problem was, we were so tired by the time we got back home each evening, we would have dinner then collapse into bed and half the time just fall asleep cuddling. We were intimate when we could be and tried to make the time, but we were burnt out, which is why we decided enough was enough. We hadn’t built the company up like this to not have a life. In all honesty, with the money we both made, we could step back entirely if we wanted to and let our team run it, but that wasn’t for us.
We’d visited nearly every state in the US now, and wanted somewhere a bit different and relaxing so I could enjoy my wife. I booked a private island in the Maldives, just for the two of us with no one to interrupt us. We were in heaven. Our house on the island was right on the beach, and every morning we could step outside and straight into the ocean. What an amazing place. Neither of us had ever been so relaxed. We had staff that would come over to the island each day to bring fresh food and prepare our meals. We spent so much time with me just buried in Evelyn. Now that was heaven. We were discovering ourselves all over again. We stayed for three weeks and didn’t want to leave. We thought as we were there we would go to Asia and check out all the gaming that was going on there. We didn’t work or have meetings as we were still on holiday. After a week in Asia, we headed back home and decided to just enjoy ourselves back in our own environment before venturing back to work.
We have been home for four weeks and have only been into the offices for occasional visits. A couple of weeks ago, Evelyn started to feel tired and wanted to sleep a lot, and I began to get a bit worried.
“Baby, do you think you should go to see the doctor? You may have picked something up while we were away?”
“Theon, stop worrying. I’m just tired that’s all. I feel fine other than that. You don’t mind if I go to my mother’s tomorrow, do you? I said we would do a bit of shopping and have lunch, but I just wanted to check we didn’t have anything on first?”
“No, nothing planned. You go and have some girly time with your mother, and I will go into the office for a bit and catch up on anything that needs our attention there.”
“Great, I’ll ring her and let her know.” She walks off to the living room. I stay by the pool, to do some reading, trying to find the next big thing in the gaming industry. There are so many new things coming out. I’ve been working on a concept for a new game, which I want to run past Evelyn, but it will wait for a couple of days.
I spend a couple of hours in the office then head home. I’m surprised Evelyn’s car is there as I thought she would still be with Sonia. I head inside and to the kitchen, but can’t see Evelyn. I can’t hear her either.
“Evelyn,” I shout out and stand still, waiting. Nothing. Maybe Sonia picked her up. I look out the back to see if she’s by the pool. Nothing. I go through the house and head upstairs to see if she’s in the shower. Nothing. Why’s this house so big?
“Evelyn!” I shout again coming down the stairs. I can hear music coming from the cinema room in the basement. I head down there.
The screen is lit up, but it’s not a film. I read it: ‘Sit down baby before you fall down. ‘Okaaaay, I take one of the recliners and wait.
A cartoon starts playing. It’s Evelyn and me, a recreation of our life so far, from meeting, to going out, the proposal, our wedding, our honeymoon, and our work. All the while the music playing is my favorite band Creed. The song is ‘with arms wide open’. Just as the lyrics get to the part about creating life, the image shows Evelyn holding a pregnancy stick in her hand. The cartoon Evelyn is smiling with happy tears, and I know what she’s telling me. I’m stunned, tears streaming down my face. I close my eyes, and when I open them, she’s there in front of me, tears falling down her face. The music’s still playing. She looks nervous, apprehensive, maybe not sure of my reaction. I stand up and take her head in my hands, and I rest my forehead on hers.
“Is this real, baby, are we pregnant?” She nods yes holding my wrists. I breathe out, the tears just flowing now.
“Are you happy, Theon?” I smile down at her looking her in the eyes.
“I have no words, Evelyn,” I whisper with a lump the size of a golf ball in my throat.
“I’m .... Shit. I’m numb, shocked, speechless but abso-fucking-lutely ecstatic.” She lets out a breath I don’t think she realized she was holding.
“Evelyn, I love you more than life, baby. But now this is the best day of my life, again. That tells you it all.”
“Oh, Theon. I was scared you were going to say you weren’t ready yet. We’ve been enjoying ourselves these past few months.”
“When did you find out? How far along are you? When did you do this? I say pointing to the screen.” I sit down and pull her onto my lap and wrap my arms around her.
“I had an idea I was pregnant just over a week ago. I went this morning, and they confirmed I’m eight weeks along.”
“So we did this in the Maldives?” She nods yes.
“Guess we just must have been so relaxed and it just happened.”
“How did you do this though?” I say nodding to the screen.
“I’ve been working on that for a long time for when it finally happened. I wanted to try to replicate your proposal to me. Did you like it?”
“Loved it, Evelyn. It’s something to treasure along with the proposal — something to show our kids. I love you so much, baby. How are you feeling now?”
“I love you so much, Theon. Surprisingly
, I’m fine for being eight weeks, barely any nausea but there’s still time for that.”
“Well, in that case —” I stand up with Evelyn in my arms. She laughs and clings to me. I head for the stairs.
”What are you doing?”
“Going to celebrate in you!” I shrug
“Is that okay, Mrs. Tourney?” She laughs
“Do you need to ask? Take me to your lair, my lord,” she says then plants a kiss on my lips. It doesn’t take long to escalate. I am the happiest man alive right now. I have the woman of my dreams clinging to me, and she’s carrying my baby. Best day of my life by far.
Present
I TALK WITH Alana for a few more minutes, but we both get a bit agitated wanting to get back to our girls. I look at my watch, and I’ve been gone from Evelina for fifty minutes — longer than I wanted.
“I’m going to head back and check on Evelina. I didn’t realize I had been away from her that long.”
“Oh gosh, yes, me too. I’ll walk back with you.” We head back, still talking, but when we reach our floor and the elevator doors open there is a flurry of activity. I don’t like it. I have a terrible sick feeling in my gut. All the activity is at Evelina’s room. I start to walk quickly, then start to run. I can hear Alana right behind me. Oh god, no, they are in Evelina’s room. Too many nurses coming and going, then I see her bed being wheeled out and Dr. Cassidy following
“Doctor, what’s happened? What’s wrong with Evelina? Where are you taking her?”
“Mr. Tourney. I tried to phone you, but it went straight to voicemail. The nurse was doing routine checks on Evelina, and her stats were low, her blood pressure very low. She didn’t wake up when I tried. I’m almost sure she is hemorrhaging from the surgery. We need to get her back to theatre now to stop the blood loss.”
“Fuck. Is she going to be okay? Can you stop the bleeding? Please, doc, tell me she’s going to be okay?” My hands are in my hair, pulling at it, my voice quivering. I have a lump in my throat, and I feel the tears start to fall down my cheeks. I fall to the floor on my knees and hold my head in my hands
The Best Day of My Life Page 10
