by TJ Fox
“Yeah.” She sits and leans to look out the window over the back slope of the roof into the back yard. The view is mostly trees, but there is plenty of light. “This is great.”
One of the things I’d asked Russ and Jules to do was to get the extra stuff packed up and out of these rooms. I didn’t have much, but there were a few things stuffed in the closets and drawers. It looks like this was one of the rooms they managed to finish, because other than the furniture and bedding, the room is empty.
“Good. B, let’s go across the hall into the other room.” He and Riff had been standing back in the hall by the door. Urging B along with me, we walk past the bathroom and into the other room.
I never did much in here other than store stuff. I’d been planning on making it a space for Rusty, but never got around to it. It isn’t all that often they stay over with me, and he is still young enough to want to stay with his sister when he does.
“Well? What’ya think, B? Is this going to work?” As soon as he sees Jorie, surrounded with coloring books, crayons and pencils, sitting under the window across from the door, he barely notices anything else.
He starts to run, but I put my hand on his shoulder. “Slow down, B. Remember what Dr. Lee said. You need to take it easy. You and Jorie can color for a little while, but then you are going to need to rest. Okay?”
He glances at me then back to Jorie. “Okay.” This time he is more careful as he goes to join her and sits on the floor.
“I’ll stay up here with them if you want to show Riff downstairs.” Jules heads over to the small closet that sits crosswise from the door. There are still a couple of boxes in there waiting to be moved. “These need to be taken over to your office, then this room is finished as well. Russ is finishing up downstairs. When you’re done, I have some stuff in the fridge for sandwiches.”
I take in the changes, noting the twin bed that sits perfectly lengthwise in a little nook next to the closet with a small window above. The dresser pushed against the wall to the right of the door leaves the majority of the floor space open. Jules and Russ have opened the windows in here as well, blowing out the stuffy, stale air.
The walls are a mid-tone beige with the same white trim as the other room. The biggest difference between this room and Simone’s is the fact that there are a dozen or so drawings and pages from coloring books hung on the walls. Jorie’s contribution. The comforter is dark green with lighter green sheets, colors that I hope will help B to feel comfortable.
I lean in to Jules for a hug and whisper, “You have done an amazing job. Thank you.”
I head back out of the room and call, “Come on, Riff. I’ll show you the downstairs.”
He and Simone meet me in the hall. They follow me back down to the main floor, then to the partially finished basement.
The stairs end at a small, enclosed landing with a closed door directly across from the stairs and an open room to the left. There are high windows that open at ground level. Opposite the landing is a door that leads outside with steps up to the back yard. A couple more windows are on the wall to the left.
There is a small nook to the right, just before the bathroom. The only closet is a small walk-in at the back of the bathroom. The walls and trim are white. Russ is setting up an inflatable mattress on a stand against the wall just past the bathroom door.
I let Riff walk ahead and look around. There are still a few boxes stacked along the wall that are filled with extra equipment and backdrops I use for photoshoots. I have used this space as a studio, though not often since most of the portrait and product photos are taken at different locations. The boxes will need to be moved over to the unfinished portion of the basement. I’m not much of a pack rat or hoarder, so there isn’t much in there. A few holiday decorations, boxes of keepsakes, a few boxes of craft supplies and a few pieces of furniture, some of which I’ve used as props for photoshoots. Otherwise, my basement is mostly empty. At one point I had plans to put in a dark room and an office space, creating a full photo studio down here. But the small number of shoots I do here, combined with all the amazing options in digital and photo software made it difficult to justify the expense.
Russ straightens from being crouched over the bed and goes over to Riff. “Hey, I’m Russ. Jules’ husband.” He holds his hand out.
“Riff. Thanks for this.” Riff shakes Russ’ hand and waves to the bed.
Russ smiles. “I just do what I’m told. Makes life so much easier.” His chuckle is lighthearted.
“I just noticed you’re missing a monster? Did you lose someone?” I ask, wondering whether or not I need to dig Rusty out of a hidey hole somewhere or what kind of a mess might be waiting for me.
“Nah, we sent him and Sparks over to my mom for the day. Figured we’d get more done that way. Jorie would have been with him, but she demanded to come and help decorate the room for B-Rad.” He looks over to the bed.
“The bed’s done. Just needs sheets and whatever else you want done in here.”
“Looks great, Russ. Why don’t you take a break? Jules said there’s some lunch stuff upstairs. I can finish the rest of this later.”
I make a mental note that I’m going to have to come up with more permanent furniture for this room, then follow the three of them back upstairs and call Jules, Jorie and B down for lunch.
After we eat and get B settled, I’ll need to give Betty a call to arrange a time to get the kids’ things from their house. I want to resolve as many unknowns as possible, so they can start to feel a little stability again.
Chapter 16
Before we left the hospital, they gave me some pain medicine for B. They recommended switching to over-the-counter medication when he got past the worst, but that could take another day or so. I want to avoid the stronger stuff as much as possible, because it makes him sleepy. When he starts complaining about being sore, though, I decide that he still needs the stronger medicine, and giving him a dose now won’t mess with his sleep schedule too much.
B is cranky after lunch, not wanting to nap “because I’m not a baby!” and not wanting Jorie to leave. He’s obviously had too much, too quickly today. Only after Russ leaves with Jorie does he finally agree to go back up to his room.
I check his stitches, and they still look good. It doesn’t take much more to convince him to rest once the medicine kicks in. I help him get ready for a nap, and he’s out minutes after he’s tucked in bed.
I head back downstairs to find Riff and Simone.
“I’m going to call Betty to find out what we should do about getting the stuff you need from your house. Do either of you have keys?”
Riff shakes his head. “Mine are with the stuff I left in the car.”
Simone looks thoughtful before running upstairs. Less than a minute later, she is back down with her backpack. After some digging, she holds up her hand.
“Thought so! Here.” She hands me a set of keys on a cat key ring.
“That should make things a little easier. Do you guys want to watch TV or something while I make that call? I have a few movies, though most of them are kids movies. I think there might be some games in the closet if you’d rather do that. Or reading? I have lots of books upstairs.”
Once again, I’m uncertain of what to do for them and worried that I’m trying too hard.
“TV’s fine.” Riff is already headed to the couch, grabbing the remote before he sits down. Simone trails after him. I hesitate, wondering if I should say or do something, before heading up to my office to make the call.
Betty answers after a couple of rings. I update her about where we are and what’s going on. She says she’ll see what she can arrange and call me right back. I fidget with the papers on my desk, not really paying attention as I wait.
It doesn’t take long for her to call back. She says that an officer will meet me at the house in an hour. He will enter the house and do a
walk-through first. Betty has no new information about the search for Dylan. I thank her and hang up.
Back downstairs, I sit in one of the chairs next to the couch. Jules is in the other chair across from me. Riff switches off the TV.
“I need to be there in about an hour. I’m not sure what’s best. I could go alone and get what you tell me to, or you could go and grab what you want. There will be a police officer there that will make sure everything is safe before anyone goes in.”
I refrain from mentioning why that is necessary, but they are smart enough to have an idea. I don’t know what we might walk into, but I also don’t want them to feel as though they have no say in what’s going on. There have been too many things happen that were out of their control. I don’t want to take away the few choices they can make. Hoping for a little reassurance, I look at Jules. She can only give me a sad shake of her head.
“What do you want to do?”
They look at each other, as if waiting for the other to make the decision. Riff shrugs and looks back at me.
“I want to go. Simone can stay with B-Rad if she wants.”
Simone is gnawing on her lip again. “What all do we get?”
I’m pretty sure her question is more about how long they will be staying with me rather than what specific things they need to grab. With the guardianship issue still in question, they are hanging in an odd state of limbo, leaving this illusion of a door that is no longer there. She still has the hope that something will change, that this isn’t the way things will be.
My chest hurts. I don’t want to kill that hope, but… their lives will be different. That part isn’t going to change. It’s what that change will look like and where they will end up after all the dust settles. Wherever that may be, and I still have my own questions about that, it won’t be that house.
“I don’t know if we’ll have another chance to get into the house. We might, but I just don’t know. So we should grab whatever you don’t want to leave, whatever is important to you. I’ll need help getting B’s things. The clothes are obvious, but I don’t want to miss the smaller, important things like keepsakes. We can take a couple of trips, or I can have Russ bring his truck if we need it.”
Simone wipes a tear away and Riff is no longer looking at me. He is staring out the window.
Will I ever be able to talk to them without hurting them?
“You don’t have to do this. I can take care of it for you if it’s too much.”
Simone shakes her head. “No. I want to go, too.”
“What about B-Rad? I don’t want him to go home and then force him to leave again.” The care and concern for his brother is obvious in Riff’s question. It’s good to see him thinking outside of the anger he’s wrapped himself in.
“I’ll stay with him while you’re gone,” says Jules. “It’s going to be hard enough for you two, and you didn’t just have surgery. Are you sure this is what you want to do? Russ would have no problem going and helping Teri if you’d rather stay with me.”
Jules’ concern for them gives me pause, wondering if giving them this choice is the right thing to do. “Do you think they should stay?”
She shakes her head, lets out a sigh, then shrugs.
“I don’t know. I think it is going to be hard no matter what. So… you have to decide what you think will be the easiest on you, and only you know what that is.”
Taking a deep breath, Riff turns back to me. “I’m going.”
Simone’s response doesn’t come as quickly, but she agrees. Riff doesn’t wait for any other comments before he gets up. “Okay. Let’s get this over with.”
I grab my keys and purse before heading out to the car. We climb in and head off.
Less than forty-eight hours ago, I was taking this same route to meet Dylan for a date. It feels like it has been weeks or months since then, not just hours. The realization of how much has happened since is hard to grasp. When I pull up in front of the house this time, I am hoping there are no more surprises. I’m not sure any of us could take it.
The police car is parked on the curb on the other side of the driveway. When I see him come around the side of the house from the back, I ask the kids to wait and get out to meet him on the sidewalk. I pass him the keys, and he asks me to wait.
Leaning against the side of the car, I look around, expecting to see Dylan’s car. I know it isn’t possible, but I still look. The officer is inside for several minutes before he walks back out and comes over to where I’m standing.
“It’s all clear. I’ll stay until you are finished.”
He hands me the keys and walks back to his car. I motion Riff and Simone out of the car, and we head inside.
We walk into the living room, and it looks different from the last time I was here. It takes me a minute to understand why. I don’t see any of the trash bags I’d left on the floor by the couch after B was sick. The glass I’d left on the end table is missing. It even looks like everything that had been on the desk in the corner has been cleared off. The house has been cleaned.
I turn to see puzzled looks on both their faces. They are probably noticing things I couldn’t. “Why don’t you show me to B’s room, and then start getting your things together.”
We head down the hall. Simone points me to a door on the right. I walk into a room that seems unusually clean and neat for a six-year-old. I glance around at the bare walls and furniture without a single toy, book or knick-knack on top. When I walk to the foot of the bed, I see a couple of suitcases and some large boxes that I’d mistaken as storage or toy bins. They are all full.
It takes me a minute to digest what I’m seeing. I walk over to the dresser and open the top drawer. Empty. Same as the next. And the next. Moving to the closet, I find the same thing.
I turn and walk out of the room, stopping in the hall. Simone steps out of the next room with tears running down her face. Walking towards her, I hear a crash from the end of the hall. Rushing in the direction of the sound, I enter what looks like a master bedroom. Riff is just slamming the closet door shut. He spins as we enter the room.
“It’s gone! Everything is gone! He didn’t leave a single thing behind! Not… One…” he kicks the door, “…single…” shoves the dresser onto its side, “…god… DAMN! THING!!”
The drawer to the nightstand lands on the floor as he yanks it out.
“Except us. He left us behind.”
He falls to his knees and drops his head to his chest, breath heaving. I rush over to him. Not sure if he wants or needs it, I hug him tightly anyway. I refuse to let him feel alone in this moment. Simone moves to his other side to give him her support as well. He is surrounded by us. And he just… lets go. Grief and loss and despair pours out as he cries.
I hear the front door and rushing footsteps. Tensing, I turn my head towards the bedroom door, preparing for whatever fight I might have to protect the kids, holding tight to Riff.
The officer rushes into the room, looking around, with his hand on the gun at his waist. When he sees me, I shake my head. He does one more glance around before stepping back out.
Riff’s sobs shake his body while we hold him. Not letting go. Holding him together while he falls apart. While we all fall apart a little.
I have no idea how long we are there on the floor. Long enough for the tears to slow. Not because he no longer hurts, but because he has no more energy left to feed them. He has exhausted them, at least for now.
When his breathing returns to something resembling normal, I lean back to look at him. Still holding him, I won’t let go until he asks. “What do you need right now, Riff? Not the impossible, you know I can’t do that, but what I can do, what do you need? More time? Do this later? You can wait in the car, and I can grab your things if you want. Tell me what you need.”
He lifts his head, and his face is ravaged by his crying. His dark eye
s are red and swollen, his nose is running, and his naturally tan skin is blotchy.
“I need to leave. I want to grab my stuff and never come back.”
He turns his head to wipe his nose on his sleeve. A few more tears leak down his cheeks.
“Can we do that?” It comes out as a desperate plea. No matter how strong he has tried to be, he is still just a kid. I push his hair back and look him in the eyes.
“Absolutely. Ready?”
He nods and finally breaks out of the hug. Pushing to stand, he walks out of the room. Simone is still crying, so I pull her over for a hug as well. She clings to me for a moment before we get up.
“Can you get your things, or do you need help?”
I can only assume their rooms look much like B’s did. Empty of everything except suitcases and boxes.
“I think I’m going to need help with the boxes, but I can get the rest.”
We walk back down the hall, and she goes into her room. I pass Riff’s and see him standing there looking at his pile of stuff, not moving.
“Need some help?”
He turns his head at the sound of my voice and shakes it, moving to grab the first box.
“Here.” I toss him my keys.
“You will probably need to drop one of the seats down. Why don’t you go get it ready?”
Snagging the keys, he grabs a suitcase instead, then heads to the front of the house and out to my small SUV. After watching Riff break down, I don’t want to make more than one trip. If it looks like we’re running out of space, I’ll call Russ.
I head back into B’s room and go for one of the boxes. When I take it to the car, the officer comes over, making sure both Riff and Simone are back in the house before he speaks.
