by TJ Fox
“Everything okay?”
“No. They didn’t expect this.” Sighing, I wave in the direction of the back of my car where several boxes are sitting.
“Is there a problem?”
“All their stuff. It’s packed. Sometime between when I left the other day and now, Dylan must have been here.” When did that happen? How had he not been seen? Nothing about this makes sense. More loose ends like Betty mentioned? My gut clenches at the thought.
Riff comes out carrying another box. The officer nods and heads back to his car. I just stand there looking over at the house thinking about what’s left inside. Before Riff can go in for another round, I stop him.
“Is there anything besides the stuff that is packed that you are going to want? I mean, the furniture from your rooms or something?”
Simone walks out with a suitcase and comes over to where we are talking.
“No. I don’t want anything.” His voice is still rough, and it’s filled with anger.
“What about you, Simone? Everything about this is messed up, but… I don’t think we’re going to have another chance to get things from the house. If there is something you really want that won’t fit in the car, tell me, and I’ll get Russ over here to move it.”
She sniffles hard and wipes her eyes. “Everything I want isn’t here. All of Mom’s stuff is in storage somewhere, but I don’t know how to get that. Will we even be able to?”
I grit my teeth, frustrated again at Dylan’s utter lack of thought and care with them.
“I have no idea, but I’ll see what I can find out about it. For now, let’s finish up here.”
“Okay.” I wish I had the power to wipe the loss and devastation from her face. It is gutting me to watch them suffer through this.
It takes us each several more trips from the house to the car to get all the boxes, bins and suitcases outside. After a few attempts at rearranging, things are tight, but we finally manage to fit it all in.
They both stay in the car while I go back through the house for a last look around. Even though there is furniture in the rooms, it feels empty. Probably because the things that made this a home weren’t things at all, and they just walked out the door.
Seeing the desk in the living room, I go over and start pulling out drawers. They too are empty, like everything else.
I feel like I expect to find something, but I don’t know what. Answers maybe. The walls and furniture aren’t talking. There are no answers to be had here, so I head back outside. I lock the door and pocket the keys on the way to the car. Once again, I find myself looking for Dylan.
Chapter 17
Russ is at the house when we get back home, and he helps us unload. Jules and I help get the kids’ stuff to each of their rooms. The look she shoots me while we work is loaded with questions, but thankfully, she holds them in until we can talk privately.
We leave B’s things in my office since he is still sleeping. I don’t want him to see his stuff packed up like that, and then have to deal with all the questions it will bring up. Like so many other things with this situation, it isn’t about what I want. It is about what they need, so I will deal with it when he gets up.
After all the boxes and suitcases are unloaded, everyone ends up in the living room. I sit in the chair that backs the dining room with the fireplace to my left and the couch to my right. Riff is in the chair across from me with his back to the window, and Simone is sitting cross-legged on the floor between him and the fireplace. Jules and Russ are on the couch facing the fireplace.
I have no idea what time it is, but it’s starting to look like early evening. Jules and Russ have been here all day. Suddenly, it dawns on me that it’s Friday and that Russ must have taken the day off to be here.
“Damn, I am such a crap friend. I didn’t even think about what day of the week it is. Russ, you shouldn’t have used a vacation day for this.”
Jules shoots me the stink eye, and Russ wags his finger at me.
“You just shut it. One vacation day is no big deal. You should know by now that we would always be there for you. No matter what. You are family, which means these kids now are too, so enough said. Not another word.”
It has already been too emotional of a day, and I still have some calls to make, so I just nod my thanks as I swallow back more tears before they can escape.
“Then, can I ask you to stay for about another half an hour or so? I need to make a few phone calls.”
“We won’t leave until you are done for the day. Remember, I’m available this weekend and all next week if you need anything.”
Jules stands and heads for the kitchen. “Besides, I’m feeding you before we leave anyway.”
Riff and Simone quietly watch the exchange.
“Do you want to watch TV or unpack some of your things? You have free reign around here. There is even a garden swing out in the backyard and some chairs on the deck off the mud room if you want to go outside for a while.”
Russ stands and asks Riff, “I still have a few boxes to move out of your room downstairs. Want to give me a hand?”
He gets up. “Sure, I need to see if my phone is in any of those bags anyway.” They head downstairs.
I’m getting up to go to my office when Simone asks, “Can I start unpacking some of B’s things? It might be better for him that way. I’ll be quiet while you’re on the phone.”
I offer her a hand up. “That’s a great idea. Come on.” She takes my hand. After pulling her up, we head upstairs.
It takes less than a half hour to make my calls. The receptionist at the lawyer’s office is apparently expecting my call and slides me into a ten o’clock spot for the morning, even though it’s a Saturday.
The call to the therapist is answered by a scheduling service. Initially, the woman that I speak with says there isn’t an opening for a couple of weeks. I explain that the kids have had some very upsetting events happen, and they really need to see her right away. After shuffling some appointments, she’s able to get them a time slot for first thing on Monday.
The last call I make is to Betty to let her know about the appointment with the lawyer. She suggests having me come by her office at the hospital after that meeting to discuss whatever I find out. After I get off the phone, I add that appointment to my calendar as well.
I put my phone on my desk and look around my office. There is a stack of boxes on the other side of the room near the stairs. It’s all the stuff Jules and Russ boxed up from the bedrooms. I guess it will just have to go into the basement for now. None of it is stuff I use on a regular basis, so it won’t be missed for a while. I’ll ask Russ and Riff if they would move a few more boxes.
Simone has emptied most of B’s boxes and laid everything on the floor. The suitcases are still packed. All the things I expected to see spread out everywhere when I walked into his room at Dylan’s house are there on the floor. Dylan made sure he wouldn’t be missing anything. The thought hurts because the most important thing is still missing. Dylan. I shake my head, still unable to make any sense of why he would choose to abandon his brothers and sister.
“Hey, want some help?” I walk over to where Simone is sitting. “We can start moving some of this into his room. He should probably get up soon anyway, so he will be able to sleep tonight.”
I let her focus on the toys, and I grab a suitcase. We go back and forth, moving stuff from my office into B’s room. When we are nearly finished, he wakes up and comes to investigate.
I drag a box filled with clothes still on their hangers over to the closet and start hanging them up. B watches me for a moment, and I wonder what he’s thinking, but then he and Simone start arranging his toys on the floor under the window. Anything that looks like it might hang on the wall I stack on the floor of the closet, leaving it to deal with later. When B feels more comfortable in his space, I’ll let him decide wher
e he wants them.
When we’re done, the room looks more like a little boy actually lives in it. It didn’t have much in it before. Jules brought the bed over today. It had been a hand-me-down from Russ’ sister when Jorie got too big for a crib, but they couldn’t decide on what kind of furniture to put in her room yet. It had been sitting in their basement, unused for a few years now.
My house is on the smaller, cozier side, but still has more space than one person needs. I fell in love with it the moment I saw it. It’s the kind of house I had always dreamed of having with its classic architecture and style. Growing up the way I did, having a comfortable, warm home that had potential was an important goal for me, and I worked my ass off to achieve it.
The only room upstairs that ever saw much use was my office. The bedroom that Simone is using was my guest room. It was only ever used by Russ, Jules and kids, but I liked having space to offer them when they needed it. My house definitely isn’t feeling too big now. That makes my chest feel tight, but I push past it.
Simone takes B and heads downstairs to see what Riff is up to. I follow her after grabbing my phone and making sure I didn’t leave anything out on my desk.
Russ and Riff are in the dining room putting the leaf in the table when I walk in. Simone is carrying glasses in, and B is carrying the silverware and napkins. I walk into the kitchen and see Jules has made lasagna, one of my favorites. It’s sitting on the island along with a salad and garlic bread. “What can I do?”
She looks up from grating parmesan over the warm bread. “Grab a plate and help B get started. Everything is ready.”
We serve ourselves buffet style from the island and take our plates to the dining room to eat. Riff seems more relaxed now and is talking to Russ about soccer. Simone is sitting next to B and asking Jules about what she put in the lasagna. B is too busy eating to do much talking. This is probably the most normal looking I have seen any of them since this whole ordeal started. It feels comfortable and warm and relaxing.
Jules shoots me a small smile when I look over at her. I have a lot to learn from her. Hers will be the example I follow when it comes to taking care of these kids. We are the same age, but she has always been so much wiser. I know she will be there to remind me that just because my parents were incapable of love doesn’t mean that I’m the same. It’s only because she insisted on sharing her family when we were growing up that I even know what a good, happy family looks like.
After we eat, everyone helps clear the table without needing to be asked. B takes the silverware to the sink and throws all the napkins in the trash. Simone grabs the plates. Jules and I work on packing away the leftovers while Russ rinses the dishes and Riff loads the dishwasher. All as though we’d been doing the same routine for years. I expected it from the adults because we have been doing it for years, but the kids just slid right into our already existing routine so smoothly.
Sunshine.
Once the kitchen is clean, Russ and Riff head off to finish moving the last of the boxes, and Simone and B go up to his room.
This is the first time I’ve had more than a minute or two alone with Jules. I tell her about what happened at Dylan’s. She is just as confused as I am about how we found things.
“I just don’t get why he would do all of that.”
All I can do is shrug. “Betty said something at the hospital about him potentially tying up loose ends, but… it still doesn’t make a lot of sense. I have to wonder if it has something to do with what the doctor said, about his behavior being erratic. Could this be what he was talking about?”
Neither one of us has any answers. I mention the appointments. We discuss me taking the kids to her house but decide that introducing them to yet another new environment would be too much when they haven’t even gotten a chance to get used to this one. Instead, we make arrangements for her to return in the morning. That way I can make my appointment with the lawyer without leaving the kids alone.
After the guys finish with the boxes, Jules and Russ head out to pick up their own kids and go home. I offer up a movie and a bowl of ice cream if anyone is interested. I don’t think anyone wants to be on their own just yet, so we all head into the living room, bowls in hand. I let the kids pick something and go curl up in the corner of the couch. B climbs up next to me and lays his head on my shoulder. Simone and Riff settle on the floor at either end of the couch with their backs against the arms. Might be time to rethink the furniture arrangement.
I don’t really watch the movie. I just sit and run my hand through B’s hair and let my mind wander. Tomorrow I hope to get some answers. I need to get some answers. I don’t know how much longer I can keep this tight hold on all my emotions. Maybe tomorrow I will finally be able to loosen my grip and that tight feeling in my chest will start to ease.
We head to bed after the movie. Riff tells the others good night and heads downstairs. Simone goes with me to get B ready. He gets another dose of medicine and goes down without a fight. I tuck the covers up against his chin and kiss his forehead.
“Sweet dreams, B.” I love that we have this nickname to share between just the two of us.
Simone says her own good night. At the door, I stop and look back at them. “If either of you needs anything, come and get me. It doesn’t matter the time. I’m here if you need me. Good night.”
I leave them and head downstairs to my own room. Even though their bedtime routine has gone smoothly, I’m still a little anxious about how their first night is going to go.
Nearly an hour later, I am lying in bed listening to the sounds of the house, hoping my brain will shut up long enough to finally fall asleep. The events from the last few days keep circling in my thoughts then bouncing against my worry over tomorrow’s meetings. Frustrated, I flop over to my side.
I just begin to doze when there is a new sound. It takes listening for a minute before I realize it’s crying. I sit up in bed, ready to run upstairs, but I stop myself and wait. The floor creaks in Simone’s room and I hear her steps cross the floor to B’s room. There is a faint sound of a voice and then the crying goes quiet.
I stay sitting on the side of my bed, fighting my instincts to run upstairs. It feels like I am abandoning him, but they haven’t come down. They haven’t called for me. It’s so hard to sit here and do nothing, but I know this is a testing moment. Both for me and for them. They need to trust me, but I also need to trust them to let me know when they need me. Another five minutes go by before I hear footsteps going back to Simone’s room.
Sleep continues to evade me even after the tension finally drains, and the house is back to the usual, expected sounds. I toss and turn, worrying and listening for another cry. It is near dawn before I finally drift off.
Chapter 18
Morning is not my friend today. Coffee in hand, I stand in the kitchen waiting for Jules. It’s almost eight forty-five, so she should be here soon. The kids are up, having decided on a simple breakfast of cereal and juice.
Nothing is said about Simone’s trip to B’s room last night. I don’t know if I should be worried they don’t feel like they can tell me or proud of Simone for taking care of her brother when he needed it. Probably a bit of both.
I drink my coffee and watch B from across the dining room as he sits watching cartoons in the living room. There are no signs he had a difficult night. Riff is back downstairs, having decided to try and get some things organized in his space. Simone is at the table working in the notebook I asked her to put together. She has another one next to hers that she occasionally makes a note in. Probably B’s.
The mud room door opens behind me, and Jules comes in. “What, no monsters today?”
“No. They were super wired this morning, and I wasn’t going to take any chances of B getting over excited or over tired, so I made them stay home. I promised they’d be able to come by soon.” She walks over and drops her purse and a bag on the kitchen
island.
I glance at the bag and then at her, raising my eyebrow.
“Another coloring book for B, some good colored pencils for Simone and a DS and a few games I borrowed from the neighbor for Riff. You know I never show up without goodies.” She is such a shit, and she knows it. That evil grin on her face proves it. She loves doing this kind of stuff. Knows I do too but gripes every single time I do it to her kids. Apparently, it’s payback time.
My laughter draws in Simone and B, so Jules passes out her goodies. I head to the stairs and call for Riff to come up. After Jules passes everything out, they all take their loot to their various spots. Riff going to the living room with B and Simone returning to the table. I tell them goodbye as I head out for my appointments.
I have an hour before my appointment with the lawyer, but I want to give myself a little extra time. I want to make sure I have my thoughts organized before I go in. It takes half an hour to get there and another ten minutes to find a place to park. I sit in my car and look through my notes again, hoping that will make me feel ready. After skimming through the words without reading anything, I give up the effort with a deep sigh. There is no “ready” for something like this.
The office building is small but nice. There are only four floors, and the lawyer’s office is on the second, so I take the stairs. Maybe that will burn off some of the nerves. Finding the suite, I walk into a small waiting room with a reception desk just to the right. When I walk over to it, the woman at the desk looks up.
“Hello. Ms. Griffin?”
“Yes, I’m here to see Mr. Ferrell, please.”
“Of course. He will be ready for you shortly. Can I get you anything to drink? We’ve got coffee, tea, water and soda.”
“No, thank you. I’m fine.” I just want to get this moving.
“No problem. If you’ll have a seat, I’ll get you when he is ready. It won’t be but a moment.” She is way too chipper to be working in a lawyer’s office at 10 a.m. on a Saturday.
