Memories of Us: A Second Chance, Amnesia Romance Novel

by Kennedy L. Mitchell

  Another gust of mighty wind blew, sending Brenton jumping from the bed to help. With the gun safely packed away and everything covered in the back, I slammed the tailgate shut.

  The first drop of rain hit my forearm as I climbed into the passenger side of the Gator.

  “I don't think we have time to get back to the barn,” I yelled over the rumble of thunder and now howling wind. A bolt of lightning several miles away zipped down, lighting up the sky. “We need to find cover away from the river in case of a flash flood.”

  “Where?” Brenton shouted back as he turned the key.

  “There's a little shelter for this kind of thing.” Glancing down at the compass on my watch, I pointed west. “That way.”

  It only took a few minutes to get there, but by the time we made it to the basic structure, the lightning had grown close and filled the sky with quick, jagged bolts. Sheets of rain pounded against the thin tin roof above us seconds after we pulled in. With the earlier snake scare still fresh in my memory, I spotlighted every inch of the dusty floor—twice—before stepping out.

  Brenton stood along the front of the shelter with his shoulder pressed against a support beam, watching the downpour. A cool mist blew in, leaving a damp sheen along my exposed arms and face. Even with the warm temperature, a shiver shook my shoulders at the contrast between the two.

  Another spark of lightning illuminated the sky, followed by a resounding crack of thunder.

  “You learn to have a healthy respect for storms like this as a pilot. They can pop up anytime, or sometimes you even have to fly directly into one to complete a mission.” He sighed and cracked his knuckles. “I miss it. Miss them, my brothers. But....” The next flash of lightning showed Brenton's attention fixed on me instead of the storm. “This, us, will be a challenge to walk away from. Maybe me not remembering was my mind’s way of protecting myself from the greatness of what I had to leave behind to outrun my addictions. But which was the greater cost? Losing the addictions, or losing you?”

  The thud of the tailgate falling was eliminated by the pounding rain all around us. Situating myself on the edge, I kicked my boots under me and focused out into the darkness. “You chose the route that cost less monetarily. But think about this—you also wouldn't be here right now if you hadn't walked away. You can't make amends dead. And that's what would’ve happened. Just look at your brother. Look at what almost happened to mine.”

  “About that.” The Gator jostled under his massive weight as he sat to my right. “I'm paying off the money Bradley owes, and you're not going to say two shits about it. It was Caleb's debt, and I won't allow your brother, or you, to pay for it.”

  “Fine,” I grumbled. “Figured that was coming, so I'd already mentally prepared myself for it.”

  His shoulder nudged mine. “Something tells me you like orders more than you let on.”

  A broad smile he couldn’t see broke across my cheeks. “You have no idea, but hopefully, one day, you will. Now that we aren't hunting and we have some time on our hands, I'll tell you the revelation I had on your head stuff earlier. This will be hard to hear for someone like you, so prepare yourself.”

  The bed shifted beneath us as he wiggled around. Light from the next flick of lightning revealed him on his back, a hand tucked behind his head.

  “Ready as I'll ever be. Hope this works.”

  My fingers skimmed across the rugged plastic in search of his. I sealed my eyes shut when my fingertips touched the soft skin of his forearm. Up and down I brushed along the solid muscle, savoring each inch. Reaching his fingers, I laced his with mine and set our connected hands on his strong thigh.

  “Here it goes. You actually have zero control over the things you think you do.” His fingers tightened around mine, cutting off the circulation. “I know that’s hard to hear, but for a control freak like you, you're under this false sense of security that you can control outcomes, control other people’s actions. You have to let go of the weight you're carrying from Caleb's death. It wasn't your fault, Brenton. Caleb made his own choices, just like you did. Just like I did. The only control in this world we truly have is in what we say, how we make others feel, our thoughts and actions. Outside of that, no one has control. No one. Not even rich, arrogant men like you. Stop fighting it. Accept it and try to move on.”

  The near-deafening beat of the rain around us filled the small space.

  “I could've done more,” he choked out. “Hell, I have more money than most countries and still.... Maybe if I wouldn't have left—”

  “Stop. You think you had control over the outcome, over your brother's actions? You didn't. It was all Caleb's choice. You loved him and didn't give up on him. That's all you could do.” Ass growing achy, I stood and maneuvered my hips between his spread knees. “You know how, before takeoff, the flight attendant says, 'Put your oxygen mask on before assisting others—‘”

  “Do they say that?”

  “Seriously? You've never listened?”

  “I've never flown commercial. It's either been private or military for me.”

  “Wow. Skip fancy pants. You just moved yourself up to Sir Fancy Pants. Anyway, yes, they do say that. At least they did the one time I flew. And that's what you did when you left. You put your mask on first. You can't save someone if you're suffocating too. And not only that, B. You can give someone the mask, but you can't make them breathe.”

  “I'm just so fucking angry. Angry at myself, at Dad—hell, at the world. I don't know how to let it go. Every time I think about my past—”

  Gripping his thighs, I squeezed them hard to get him to stop talking. “Brenton, your past does not define you. My past sure as hell doesn't define me. It molded us, yes, but it's not who we are now. For me, being the brunt of Daddy's frustrations and the cause of everything wrong in the world isn't who I am, but it made me stronger, I think.”

  Damn, this was confusing. When did it become my therapy session too?

  “Beks,” he said, barely louder than the pounding rain.

  I shifted closer to his lips, my heart hammering against my chest at our proximity and position. “Yeah?”

  “Don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think I'll ever recover from this.”

  Chapter 15

  Rebeka

  A BOOMING POP OF THUNDER had the small shelter shuddering. I jumped out of reflex and turned to gaze into the pitch-black night to avoid the emotions his words invoked.

  “Sorry,” I said, shifting to lean my ass against the tailgate. “Thought it would help.”

  Wide hands slid up the back of my arms, creating goose bumps in their wake. A small gasp escaped past my lips at his warm breath against the sensitive skin of my neck.

  “Not that. This, being with you. How do I walk away from someone as amazing as you?”

  My next word was out before I could think better of it. “Don't.”

  “I have to.” A gasp pushed past my parted lips at the brush of his against the shell of my ear. “I don't want to hurt you again.”

  “I'm a big girl now, B. I can handle myself, and this time I know you're leaving. Last time it was a shock, and I resented you because I expected more.”

  “Is this you giving me permission?” he whispered into my hair with a deep inhale.

  The utter darkness enveloping us hid any lingering anxieties I had. In that shed, I could have the fantasy nights I'd dreamed about the past several years. Would I regret it? Probably, but then again, I'd regret not having this moment with him just as much.

  “This is me begging you.”

  There was no holding back my throaty groan of pleasure at his teeth nipping my earlobe.

  “There’s still so much I want to know.”

  His roaming hands skimmed down my waist. Unabashed desire flooded my veins at the sensation of burning heat that soaked through from his chest to my back. Eyes shuttering closed, I relished in each inch of skin he touched.

  “We still have time,” I breathed. No way could we s
top now to chat.

  The soft tip of his tongue lazily skimmed down the length of my neck, pausing at my collarbone before sucking the delicate flesh between his lips. My hands tightened around his thighs to steady my trembling legs.

  His deep, commanding voice ordered, “Turn around.”

  A quick, irrational thought floated through of disobeying to see what happened, but instead I willingly complied, eager to keep the passion between us rising.

  All around us, the strong summer storm raged, shaking the shed with the mighty wind and rain. But here with him, between his thighs, being cherished by his tongue and hands, I felt safe. Protected.

  I faced him in the dark, the need to touch him bringing my hands up his chiseled chest and down his strong arms, savoring the taut muscles beneath my palms.

  Brenton's demanding hands massaged up the back of my thighs to grasp my ass. My entire body trembled at his deep groan of ecstasy when he had a handful of each cheek. Callused skin scraped my overly sensitive flesh as he dipped under my T-shirt. Too dark to see his beautiful face, my eyes shuttered closed to savor the intimate caress of his hands on my body.

  The soft cotton of my T-shirt tugged over my head, followed by my sports bra. Mist from the wind and rain coated my bare back. With the coolness behind me and his heat at my front, the overwhelming sensation of the opposites had me swaying between his thighs.

  Blindly I searched for the hem of his shirt; it only took a single tug for him to release his hands from my body to help finish pulling it over his head. Two hands encased my face, stroking my cheekbones with the pads of his thumbs before pulling me forward, sealing our lips against the others.

  Hot and desperate, we latched onto one another. Every ounce of passion and lust boiled over, heating the small shed. His tongue danced with mine, teasing and flicking along the roof of my mouth. Each glide gave a tasty hint to what it could do elsewhere.

  Damn, the man knew how to kiss.

  A sigh pushed from my mouth to his, and I felt the corners of his lips pull up in a smile.

  Loosening his hold on my cheeks, Brenton skimmed his fingertips down to my bare chest. He palmed each breast, torturing thumbs flicking over both peaked nipples and forcing a gasp of surprise as I pulled back an inch. Again those lips stretched to a small smile. On repeat, he flicked harder and smoothed over the small hurt with the soft pads of his thumbs.

  The relentless throb between my legs turned demanding. In search of anything to relieve the pressure, I inched deeper between his spread thighs. Like he could sense what I needed, he tugged behind each of my knees, urging me up to straddle his lap on the tailgate.

  Fuck yes.

  The moment I settled over him, spreading my knees as wide as I could to press down against his stiff jeans, Brenton's passionate, desperate kiss resumed. Not holding back, I skimmed my fingertips up and down his arms, then dove into his short dark hair. With a tight grip on the longer section, I gave it a slight tug.

  “Fuck, Beks,” Brenton growled against my lips. With a hard shove off the Gator’s bed, he stood with me wrapped around his waist to flip our position. His firm, gentle hands guided me back until I lay flat against the bed liner.

  First my right and then left boot fell to the dirt with a thump. My heart and breathing stilled at his fingers pulling around the button of my jeans before turning his attention to the zipper. Using my back as leverage, I arched up to make it easy for him to pull off my jeans and underwear.

  “Damn, I wish I could see you,” he muttered against the inside of my thigh as he kissed his way up to the apex. I savored the blindness the darkness offered; he couldn't see the scars I was still self-conscious of when naked in front of a man. The rough bed liner scraped at my back as I squirmed in need. “I want to see every beautiful inch of your amazing body. I want to bite every perfect damn inch.”

  “Yes,” I encouraged.

  “I’ll mark you as mine and mine only. Feet on the tailgate, baby, and don't move.”

  I complied, resting socked heels on the edge of the metal and widening my knees. The first swipe of his tongue liberated all the pent-up tension from the day's events. When he sucked that tiny part of me between his lips, everything but us was swallowed up by the darkness. Desperate for more, I scooted farther down the tailgate, pushing myself into his mouth.

  “That move I'll allow.” He laughed and gripped my hips tight enough to leave bruises along the skin.

  I groaned as one finger slid inside, then moaned louder than the thunder when a second followed while his tongue and lips worked me just above. His free hand pinched a pebbled nipple just as he sucked hard. A tornadic release barreled out, forcing a garbled version of his name through my lips. My back arched off the bed, but he held my hips tight, continuing to work his magic through it all.

  Seconds, maybe minutes later, when I could focus back on reality, the rain was only a slight trickle outside the shed.

  Wow.

  When was the last time I'd had a soul-crushing orgasm like that without the assistance of a toy?

  As I continued taking in deep, calming breaths, his slick lips skimmed up my stomach to linger over mine.

  “This is something I'll always remember. You, your sounds, taste, and smells, the storm. Everything combined makes it a dream I never want to wake from.”

  His scruff-covered cheek scraped along my palms. “Me either.” I drew him close for a kiss so gentle, so loving, as happy tears dampened my lashes.

  Dammit, what was I doing? I was setting myself up to fall over again by getting more wrapped up in him than he was with me. I was a fool, but hell, it could be fun while it lasted.

  Damn the consequences of enjoying this limited time with him. I was already in too deep to try and back out now. He was leaving, and I was staying. That was that. Maybe he’d learn the truth about that night. Perhaps he wouldn't. None of it mattered at that moment. What did matter was his sculpted bare chest pressed against mine and our lips sealed together, savoring our perfect moment like two people desperately in love.

  Three more days.

  I could protect my heart from new Brenton for three more days.

  He could use my body—and holy hell, I hoped he would—but my heart was mine. And I'd do whatever it took to protect it from him.

  THE SUN SHINED IN FULL force through the cheap blinds and thin curtains, burning into my exhausted eyes when I turned in the bed. Instead of popping up for the first cup of dark bliss, I flung the light blanket back over my head and rolled over with a groan of annoyance.

  Tired.

  Way too tired to even think of leaving the bed.

  It was around three in the morning when we made it back to the barn. Then we had to unload, plus a quick shower, which put me rolling into bed around four.

  Our night together couldn’t have played out any better than it did. After the storm moved on, we drove through the thick mud back to our original spot to continue the predator hunt, but the kitty never showed. Maybe it was due to the crazy storm, but I’d bet it was our loud laughing, and of course, my exaggerated hand motions when I was involved in a story, and the constant back-and-forth conversations.

  Well, in-between the hot and heavy make-out sessions, we did all that.

  Brenton's lips were irresistible, a perfect fit to mine. And damn that man could kiss—demanding yet still somehow soft, combining to form some cosmic union of all things perfect in this world.

  Being out on the land with his lips against my body was like a teleport back in time to all those years ago when we did the same thing, laughing, talking, kissing.

  A shout from somewhere in the house dragged reality back in. After swinging both legs off the bed, I stretched both arms up high to work the stiff muscles out of my lower back. On silent, bare feet, I tiptoed across the worn carpet to the closed door and pressed an ear against it.

  Daddy. No surprise. That man was always upset about something Bradley or I did.

  Awake and mobile, the basic need for hot
coffee turned dire. With a wide openmouthed yawn, I stepped out into the hallway, pausing the beeline I was on toward the kitchen when I was outside Bradley's room. The scene was all too familiar, with Daddy ranting about shit not getting done, but it was still a lot to take in considering Bradley’s injured state.

  Daddy turned those light brown eyes to me, narrowed in obvious annoyance. “What do you want?”

  Instead of responding, I shifted my full attention to Bradley, who shot me a sympathetic look with his one good eye. “On my way to get coffee and heard you,” I said.

  “Get me some,” Daddy commanded back with a dismissive wave.

  “You have two legs. Get it yourself.”

  Eyes a bit wild, he faced me straight on and balled his hands into tight fists. “What in the hell did you say to me, girl?”

  Somehow the terror he used to invoke in my soul as a little girl seeped right back in. But instead of cowering, I repeated, “Get it yourself.” Only a slight tremble in my voice gave away my nerves of standing up to this man.

  With each step closer, the heels of his boots thumped against the thinly carpeted floor, sounding ominous in the otherwise quiet house. “You always were useless, weren't you. You and that pathetic brother. Sorry excuse for kids after what all I did for you two.”

  “Right, because a kick in the ass and constant degrading is exactly what every kid needs.”

  “You lie. Always have been a damn liar. You lied to Mr. Graves about your mother, then conned his grandson into getting you pregnant, which turned the entire Graves family against me. I knew it from the beginning. Just like your mother. Nothing but a useless whore.”

  With each vicious word, he moved closer until he was in my face. I pressed a trembling hand against his thin chest and shoved him back a step. “Wow, it's a little early for all this, don't you think? Let's wait until after my morning coffee to start with the oh-so-typical rant of who ruined your life and when.” Summoning a bit more courage, I glanced over Daddy’s shoulder to Bradley propped up on the bed. “You need anything?”