Desire Me (Her Best Friend's Father Book 4)

by Ayden K. Morgen

  "Yeah?" he asks.

  "Yes!" I shake my head, laughing. "You're going to be an amazing Commander. If this is what you really want, they'll be lucky to have you as their leader."

  He grins at me, his expression softening with relief. "This is what I want."

  "Then I'm happy for you," I tell him simply. As much as I worry that he's leaving the unit he's worked with for the last decade because of me…I know this is something he's thought about for a long time. He's tired of feeling like he has to be two people all the time, tired of always looking over his shoulder. All I want for him is peace and happiness. If this gives him that, I'm happy for him.

  "I'll be home to annoy you more."

  "You never annoy me."

  "You know this isn't about you, right?" he asks, running his fingertip over my lip again.

  "I know," I promise him. "All I want is for you to be happy and keep saving lives."

  He smiles at me, love shining in his eyes. "Fuck, I can't wait until you're tied to me in every way humanly possible," he mutters, desire flaring to life in his eyes.

  "Six months," I remind him, brushing his hair away from his forehead.

  "I can't fucking wait."

  "Me neither."

  He slides his hand around the back of my neck, tucking me against his chest. I hum happily and snuggle in, content to just lie in his arms while he sleeps.

  "I need your help with something," he murmurs a couple seconds later.

  "Anything," I promise immediately.

  "Octavio is going to have an important witness staying with him for a little while. She's about your age and hasn't had it easy."

  "What's her name?"

  "Faith."

  "What did she witness?"

  Roman hesitates for a minute and I know he doesn't want to tell me. He still wants to protect me from the harsh realities of his job, but I understand exactly the kind of terrible people he has to deal with and the awful things they do to hurt others. They did those things to me. I'm not going to fall apart or break if he tells me about whatever Faith went through. I think he knows that too, but he's a protector, a care-taker, an alpha male to his core. It's hard for him to rein it in and share the things he wants to protect me from.

  "You don't have to tell me," I promise him.

  "She was a bartender at the bar el Demonio shot up. She was inside when they started shooting."

  "Oh." I swallow hard against the painful lump his statement sends into my throat. The shooting has been all over the news for the last week and a half. A lot of people—innocent people—were hurt. Several others were killed. All because el Demonio wanted to cause chaos in the city.

  "Poor Faith," I whisper, my heart aching for her. I can't imagine what she saw…how she feels. "What can I do to help?"

  Roman pulls me even closer to him and presses his lips to my forehead. "Don't know how Damien didn't realize what he had with you, but I'm fucking glad he didn't, baby. You're so goddamn sweet."

  "He never had me," I murmur the truth. "I've been yours since I walked into that dorm room and saw you standing there."

  "Damn right you have been," he says with a little chuckle. "You're my fucking warrior. My soul."

  I press a kiss to his pec and throw my leg over his, getting comfortable.

  "We had her in protective custody, but Sanders crossed a line with her." His voice goes hard and flat. Whatever Sanders did pissed him off. "He may have made things a lot harder than they need to be."

  "I'm sorry," I murmur, not sure what else to say.

  "With the shooting, Octavio's caseload is heavy right now. I offered to help him keep an eye on Faith until we know she's safe. When I'm not here, Luke will be keeping an eye on you and her both."

  "You need me to help him keep an eye on her?"

  "I need you to be there for her," he says, his chest rumbling beneath my ear. "I'm thinking she could probably use a friend right now. I don't think she's ever had many of those in her life. From what little we know about her, her mother and stepfather disappeared when she was a teenager. She's been living in Los Zetas territory since, under the protection of Oscar Fuentes."

  "Do you think she's one of them?" I ask, not sure what the steely thread in his tone means. I doubt he'd let her anywhere near me if he really believed she was a danger or a gang member. He's too overprotective for that.

  "No," he says and then pauses. "Oscar Fuentes doesn't offer his protection to anyone without a damn good reason. I think maybe she was there against her will, but she's scared to talk." He snorts. "I don't blame her for that. Fuentes is vicious, ruthless. I'd really like to know why he and the Zetas want her back so badly."

  "I'll see what I can find out," I promise.

  "That's not why I asked for your help," he says. "She needs a friend, and I think maybe you'll be good for her. If she talks to you, that's great. If she doesn't, don't push. Just be there. Be you. That's what she needs right now. We'll sort out the rest eventually."

  "Okay," I agree, more than happy to try to befriend her. It seems like maybe we have a few things in common. Aside from Missy Beck, I don't have any friends in Los Angeles. I wasn't here long enough to make them before Guerrero tried to kill me and the gang war blew up. It'll be nice to get to know someone else, someone who understands what the last year of my life has been like. At the very least, I'd like to help her learn to trust Roman and Octavio. They're good cops and even better men.

  "I think Octavio likes her," Roman says a few minutes later, his deep voice drowsy.

  "Seriously?" I feel my eyebrows shoot upward in surprise. Octavio is intense in a way I've only ever seen from Roman. It's like the two of them are constantly seeing things no one else does. They look at me sometimes…and I feel like they know everything I've ever done wrong in my life. It's more intense with Roman—perhaps because he knows me better than anyone—but Octavio has that same way of seeing right through me.

  "You're surprised?" Roman asks.

  "Aren't you?" He and Octavio are a lot alike, but Octavio is…well, if Roman is a bear, Octavio is a great white shark. He's incredibly smart, cunning, and driven. He's a man apart, possessing a single-minded focus on his job that's almost scary to witness. He doesn't seem like the type to let people in easily…or ever, really. If he's hung up on Faith, she must be something, because he isn't someone I ever imagined in a relationship with anything except the job. He's damn good at what he does, and I think that's all he sees. All he's seen for a long time.

  "Nah," Roman says. "I always figured he'd fall hard someday. Wish like hell it wasn't right now, but if she makes him happy, more power to him. He needs someone in his life to make him realize there's more to living than his job. Otherwise, he's going to die alone."

  "He's a lot like you." I snuggle deeper into Roman's chest, my heart melting at his words…at his desire to see his friends happy. "You were dead-set on dying alone yourself once."

  "Unh-uh," he murmurs. "I was dead-set on growing old with you. Just had to get my head out of my ass and claim you first, baby."

  I smile against his chest and close my eyes, warmth running through me. For a guy who has never done relationships, he's good at the sweet talk.

  Roman hums softly and then his breath evens out into the deep cadence of sleep. Even then, he holds me close, not letting me drift more than a couple of inches from him before he's drawing me back into his side with a little displeased rumble.

  I try to go back to sleep, but eventually I give up and just lay there, thinking about Faith and what she's been through. I can't even imagine being in the middle of a mass gang shooting like that. Hell, I can't imagine growing up in the middle of gang territory like she did either. It couldn't have been easy.

  Even if she doesn't open up to me or want to be my friend, I'm looking forward to meeting her.

  "Hi, Faith," I murmur from my spot by Roman's side early the next morning. We're in the kitchen with Luke, eating breakfast before Roman has to leave for the day. Octavio a
nd Faith stand across the room from us, Octavio hovering protectively over her as he introduces us.

  She's tiny next to him, and almost waifishly thin, but she's beautiful. Her dark hair falls in waves down her back. Her skin is a gorgeous light tawny brown, her lips full. Her wide brown eyes dart in Luke's direction, and then to Roman before coming to rest on me. Something like relief whispers through her expression, gone as quickly as it appeared, as she stares at me.

  "It's nice to see you again, Faith," Roman says, his voice soft.

  "Hi," she mumbles before her gaze drifts from him to Luke. Her eyes run over him again before shifting back to Octavio. "Are all your friends giants?" she asks, her voice lilting and soft.

  The right corner of his lip tilts upward.

  Roman chuckles, his shoulder brushing against mine.

  "I ask Roman the same thing all the time, but they're not as scary as they look," I promise Faith when heat rushes to her face, painting her cheeks with signs of her embarrassment. I don't think she meant to say that so loudly. "These three are gentle giants."

  "If you say so," she mumbles doubtfully. She starts to wring her hands together and then forcibly stops herself, dropping them to her sides and squaring her shoulders. Her chin comes up, her expression wavering from uncertainty to careful blankness.

  My heart hurts at the sight. She's scared, but doesn't want anyone to know it. Especially, I think, the handsome detective at her side. There's some weird tension between them, frustration from him and annoyance from her. I don't think she knows what to make of him or of the fact that she's now living with him. She's careful to avoid touching him, and I think that pisses him off.

  He definitely likes her though. It's obvious in the way he hovers over her, offering his protection. She might not want to like him, but she seeks out his shadow, staying as close to his side as she can get without actually touching him.

  "Are you guys hungry? There's plenty," I offer, pointing at the various dishes scattered around the chest-high table. Roman went all out for breakfast, cooking enough to feed a small army. Then again, he and Luke eat enough for a small army. I don't know where they put it all because there isn't an ounce of fat on either of them.

  "Do you want something, conejita?" Octavio asks Faith, his normally deep growl a soft rumble.

  "No, thank you."

  "You haven't eaten anything since yesterday afternoon," he says.

  "I'm not very hungry."

  He sighs heavily, but doesn't push.

  The baby kicks, drawing my attention. I reach for Roman's hand and place it on my belly so he can feel it.

  Faith offers me a little smile and takes a step away from Octavio. "Detective Hernandez says that you're having a little girl," she says, pointedly ignoring him when he scowls at her and closes the short distance she just put between them. "Congratulations."

  "Thank you."

  Roman is completely focused on the baby, his expression soft and warm.

  "When are you due?" she asks, taking another small step away from Octavio.

  His scowl deepens, his dark eyes burning with frustration. Before he can react further or close the distance she's putting between them, Luke asks him a question about one of his cases. Octavio keeps his eyes trained on Faith for a moment before he shakes his head and turns to Luke, answering in that deep growl of his.

  "In mid-March." I honestly can't wait for the baby to get here, and not because being pregnant is tough. I want to meet her. I want to hold her. I want to see her in Roman's arms. He's such a great father to Talia. I know he's going to be just as incredible with our little ladybug. I can't wait to give him back a little of what he lost with Talia. I know it won't make up for the time they lost together, but he carries so much guilt for not being there for her. Tal and I are both hopeful that getting a second chance to be a dad will, in some way, ease a little of the pain he still feels.

  Faith offers me another smile, though this one actually reaches her eyes, scattering some of the clouds lingering there. She takes another step in my direction and then stops like she isn't sure if she should approach me or not. Her gaze darts to Octavio. Seeing her hesitation breaks my heart…and tells me that Roman was right. Whatever Oscar Fuentes called himself, he wasn't her protector, and she wasn't there by her own free will. She's jumpy, afraid to move.

  My dad was never physically abusive, but I recognize a little piece of my younger self in Faith. When I was around my father, I was always afraid to set him off or upset him. I moved slowly, carefully, constantly gauging his reaction to make sure I wasn't going to send him into a drunken tirade. It took months of being away from him before I was able to relax and be myself. Faith moves the same way, like she thinks she needs permission to do so.

  Even though Octavio seems wholly absorbed in his conversation with Luke and Roman, it's obvious that his attention is on her as much as Roman's is on me. When she takes another step in my direction, pride flashes in Octavio's dark eyes.

  "Would you like to see the nursery?" I ask her.

  Her gaze darts in Octavio's direction again and then back to me. I smile encouragingly and then watch as her shoulders go back and she nods.

  Roman helps me down from the table with his hands around my waist. I think I'm going to need a step stool to get into the chairs before too long. They're too high up, and I have never been what you'd call graceful.

  Once my feet are on the floor, I cross to Faith and then lead her down the hallway, conscious of the way Octavio and Roman watch us the entire time.

  Faith sighs in relief once we're out of sight of the kitchen, her shoulders slumping like some great weight has been lifted from them. "Sorry," she whispers, grimacing. "He makes me nervous."

  I don't have to ask which he she's referring to. Octavio.

  "He's intense," I murmur, trying not to push but wanting her to know I get it.

  She hesitates for a second and then nods. "He's always watching me, but I can't read him. It's disconcerting."

  "He is hard to read, but he really is a good guy," I promise her, smiling sympathetically. "Roman doesn't trust many people with my safety, but he trusts Octavio and Luke. They're both really sweet underneath that gruff exterior."

  She shoots me another small smile, but doesn't say anything else on the subject.

  "This is the nursery," I tell her, reaching in to flip on the light. My eyes dart around the room, my hand resting on my belly as I take it all in once more. I can't believe Roman did all of this for us without me knowing. Any lingering doubts I had about him not wanting us here with him vanished in a puff of smoke when he showed me the nursery. It's exactly like we talked about, peaceful and playful at once. Even the barre he installed for Lillian looks like it fits in the room. I'm thinking about keeping it. Maybe our little ladybug will decide she wants to be a dancer someday.

  "It's so pretty," Faith comments, stepping inside. Her eyes light up when they fall on the tree painted on the wall.

  "Roman did it all," I murmur, drifting into the nursery behind her. "He surprised me with it when he brought me home a few days ago."

  "It's adorable," she says, gliding her hand across the top of the blanket laid over the side of the crib. "Have you guys picked out a name yet?"

  "Not yet. We just found out what we're having a few weeks ago, and then Roman had to come back here… We haven't had a lot of time to talk about it with everything going on." I bite my lip, frowning as a swell of uncertainty drifts through me. "Is that weird? We should have picked out a name already, huh?"

  Honestly…I was too afraid to think of names for a while. I was afraid we'd lose the baby, and then I was afraid I'd be disappointed because I didn't know what I wanted more. I spent so much time just praying for a healthy baby, I felt like maybe it'd be asking too much to ask for a little girl for Roman to dote on, or for a little boy who looks just like him. Now when I think about names, nothing seems right. I'm still waiting for the perfect one to jump out at me.

  Faith turns back t
o me and shakes her head. "It's not weird. You still have plenty of time to name her."

  I smile at that because she's right and I'm fretting over nothing. We do still have plenty of time.

  Faith wanders around the nursery for another few minutes before she spins to face me again, a look of indecision on her face. "Are you sure you don't mind me hanging out around here with you? I know Detective Hernandez said you're on lockdown too, but you really don't have to go out of your way to be nice to me or entertain me or anything."

  "Hey," I say softly and cross the few steps separating us. I reach out and grab her hands. She hisses in pain, and I notice the scratches and cuts on her palms.

  "I got cut by glass," she whispers by way of explanation. Her expression turns haunted and she curls in on herself, almost like she's trying to hide from her memories.

  If anyone understands how painful memories can be, I do. I'll never tell Roman because I know how he'll react, but I still sometimes think about crawling through the fire, thinking I was going to die. It's still terrifying.

  "I'm looking forward to the company, Faith," I whisper to her instead of forcing her to have a conversation she's clearly not ready to have. But I do want her to know I understand. "I don't have many friends around here. I was only here for a couple of weeks before Jose Guerrero tried to murder me and Roman sent me back to Santa Cruz."

  Faith's eyes go wide. "Someone tried to murder you?"

  "Yeah, el Demonio targeted me because of Roman's job. Things got pretty nasty and I got shot in the shoulder. Roman is worried about me being back here with the gang war still not completely over, so I really am on lockdown. I could use a friend and I think you could too…I mean, if you'd like."

  She bites her lip and eyes me for a long, hesitant moment before she nods. "I'd like that."

  I smile, relief rushing through me.

  Roman and Octavio come down the hall a second later. Octavio pops his head into the room, his concerned gaze landing on Faith. As soon as it does, something a lot like peace overtakes her expression for a split second, lighting her up. She tenses immediately afterward and sadness sweeps in like storm clouds.