Dark Gate Angels Complete Series Omnibus
Page 95
Beth shook her head. “Nope, not one.”
“Cool. So, I’m thinking magic users, you take this one. If you can clear the place out, it would give us a lot more room to move around. I don’t want Stew going in until last. The last time he came across magical plants, we ended up having to dig him out the ground.”
Stew crossed his arms, pouting. “How was I supposed to know they were going to use me for fertilizer?”
Sandy whirled and pointed her wand at Stew. “Because I told you they were going to do that.”
Stew leaned back. “Babe, you tell me a lot of things.” Unfortunately, he tried to lean on a wall that was not there and fell into the tunnel, screaming the whole way down.
Sandy hit her forehead with her palm. “Goddamn it, Stew! You have to be fucking kidding me!”
Suzuki peered into the tunnel. “Okay, well, I guess that means Stew’s going first, and then the magic users. Give us a holler when it’s safe to come down.”
Sandy grabbed Anabelle by the hand and ran toward the tunnel’s opening. “Come on, this is going to be a blast!” She leaped down the tunnel face-first, wand outstretched, dragging Anabelle behind her.
Anabelle hit the ground with a muted thud. Flowers and buds covered the floor.
Sandy raised her wand, and bright light exploded from it and floated up to the ceiling, illuminating the cavern.
There were plants everywhere, giant hulking specimens with thick wooden stems, tendrils wrapped up in each other, with red and blue blossoms nearly the size of Anabelle’s body.
Stew was screaming. He was wrapped up by tendrils that covered his entire body, and one of them was trying to wrap around his mouth and shut him up. As soon as the tendril got close, he took a bite out of the plant. “You can’t shut me up! Not Stew JENKINS!”
Tendrils were reaching for Anabelle as well. She pulled her mana and flushed it through her body, sending out a circular wave of fire that burned through anything coming near her.
Sandy whipped her wand around, casting a ring of fire around herself. A black cloak of ash flowed out and around her as a tribal death mask covered her face. “Death has come for all who crave sunlight. I will not tolerate chlorophyll in my midst!”
She cast a fireball at the plant trying to cover Stew with its tendrils.
Stew fell to the ground, grabbed his axe as soon as he could, and swung it madly, cutting down the plants closest to him. “Guess it’s time to trim the bushes! How was that, babe?”
Sandy, who was writing a sigil in the air with her flaming wand, turned to Stew and shouted, “I give you an A for effort but a C for content. You’ve had better.”
Anabelle couldn’t help but laugh. These Mundanes were having a great time even in a situation that could easily end with their deaths if it was mismanaged.
A shout came from above. It was Suzuki. “Hey, how is it down there? You guys doing all right?”
Stew looked up at the opening of the tunnel. “You guys should get down here! It’s a whole room full of killer plants! I mean, like, not just a couple. It’s a whole fucking room!”
Anabelle could hear the rest of the group muttering above them.
Terra’s voice echoed down the tunnel. “We’re on our way down!”
One of the blossoms from a plant near Anabelle suddenly turned to face her. It made a sound like a sneeze, and pollen flew toward her.
Anabelle instinctively put her hands in front of her face, manipulating the air in front of her to cause a gust of wind to push the pollen away.
Sandy flew by, casting fireball after fireball, cackling wildly until she stopped just before coming in contact with the pollen Anabelle had gusted away. “Nice move,” she called. “I think I can use this.” She spun her wand in a circle, and the pollen ignited into a quivering fireball five times the size of the ones Sandy had been casting. “Stew, move your ass if you want to keep any of your hair!”
She flung it at the corner of the room, where the plants were thickest. The fireball exploded, setting flames all over the floor.
Stew, who hadn’t moved, tried to leap over the flames, but the wall of fire was too high. “Uh, babe, no reason to go all Firestarter right now.”
Terra leapt over the flames and scooped Stew up in her arms. “I would have thought you were tough enough to jump over a simple wall of flames.”
Stew stared up at Terra, eyes wide with awe. “Fire scares me. A lot.”
Terra landed next to Anabelle and unceremoniously dropped Stew on the ground. The rest of the Mundanes were in the cavern now as well.
Suzuki sized up what was left. “We could probably clear this out quickly enough.”
Sandy, who had floated over near the elf, said, “All right, I’m with Anabelle.”
Shocked, she looked at Sandy. “What do you mean?”
“I haven’t gotten to play off a magic user in a long time, and I really dig your elemental abilities. We could get really wild in here.”
The plants were preparing to mount another attack, having pulled up their roots and stretched toward the ceiling, cutting off any route of escape.
Sandy’s wand floated in front of her as she hovered off the ground. “What do you say?”
Anabelle smiled, reveling in the pure ridiculousness of the fight for the first time. “I say we take half the room and leave the rest for them.”
“Sounds good. Let’s go!”
Sandy shot toward the right side of the cavern, dropping small fireballs along the way.
Anabelle ran after her, using her mana to increase the size of the fireballs until they were floating fiery landmines.
Sandy got to the wall and touched her wand to it. The wall started to crack, shooting out flames from the weakened points.
The fireballs that had been left behind exploded.
Sandy pointed her wand at the fireballs as tendrils reached out toward her. “Watch this!” She waved her wand and muttered an unknown language under her breath. The flames froze in midair, yet still flickered.
Anabelle got an idea. “Okay, but how about this?” She extended her mana outward, fanning the flames but also interacting with the time dilation spell that Sandy had cast, stretching the spell even further so the flames stood still. Then she started spinning her hands in a circle, creating a cyclone that picked up the flames, turning them on their sides and slicing through the plants.
Sandy’s mask disappeared as she stared at the display of magical excellence. “Whoa, that’s really fucking cool.”
A tendril stretched out and wrapped around Sandy’s foot, stringing her up.
Anabelle pulled out the water deep within the plant and formed it into a floating orb. As Sandy fell, she cast a spell to freeze the water. Anabelle punched the orb, filling it with mana and sending shards of ice the size of her arm flying out to pin the remaining plant stalks to the wall.
“Hey, watch that shit!”
It was Stew shouting. Anabelle looked at him. He was pinned to the wall with an icicle under his crotch. “So not even close to cool, bros!”
Sandy burst out laughing as her and Anabelle’s side of the cavern was reduced to ashes. Anabelle laughed too. This was pretty fun. No looming armies. No lich. No Grok. Just dungeon-crawling.
Suzuki, Beth, and Terra were nearly done slashing through their side of the cavern. They were all covered with thick green sap. “You guys done over there?” Sandy called.
Terra reached down and yanked up the last big plant, tearing it out by the roots. She tossed it to the ground, then severed its blossom with her axe. “Yep. Just about.” Then she looked at Stew, who was still hanging from the wall. “Who wants to pull him off before he gets blueballs?”
The Mundanes and the DGA broke into uproarious laughter, Sandy laughing so hard she had to bend over and clutch her sides. “That was a fucking good one,” she wheezed before magically pulling Stew off the wall.
Stew’s crotch was soaked. “Hey, babe, could you, you know, help me out a little?”
Suzuki looked around the devastated cavern. “We still got a little bit to go before we make it to the main chamber. Looks like as good a place for a break as I can think of. Stew, Beth, you guys wanna take care of the fire?”
Stew groaned while Beth saluted Suzuki. “We got it. You guys make us some room to get comfortable. And make sure all these things are dead. I don’t want to get strangled during lunch.”
Chapter Seventeen
The Mundanes took the bulk of responsibility for preparing lunch. Stew was in charge. He showed everyone how to shuck the plants that hadn’t been roasted to ash, a process that ended up with Stew getting pollen in his face and being knocked unconscious a handful of times. Luckily, Sandy always kept a cache of potions on her, masterfully brewed by Diana for a variety of situations.
After each pollen doze, Stew was back on his feet within a couple of seconds. Through trial and error, everyone figured out how to keep from having the same thing happen to them.
Sandy double-checked the plants in a book she kept on her. It detailed a good chunk of local wildlife throughout the nine realms. She explained she had won the book in a rigged poker game with another MERC. The other MERC had assumed they were the only person who was rigging the game.
Beth and Suzuki picked through the plants for something that was worth eating. Beth voiced a concern multiple times that she wasn’t a fan of eating random plants they found in the middle of a dungeon. Sandy assured her there was nothing to worry about.
Anabelle and Terra worked with the Mundanes, diligently cutting off the stalks of the plants and making sure everything was dead. The elf was still impressed by the Mundanes’ synergy. She couldn’t remember ever fighting with a group that was so keyed into each other’s movements. Even Stew, who she initially thought was an oaf, still played off the rest of the party in a way that, even though it was comical, was still worthy of note.
After an hour of foraging, the Mundanes and the DGA brought over a collection of plant parts that Stew deemed acceptable. By now, he had made a healthy fire and was busy grilling a pile of herbs on one of the large leaves of the plants they had just decimated. “All right, you guys can just hang out and relax now. I got this covered.”
Sandy sidled up next to Stew. “You need help with anything?”
The barbarian shook his head as he tended the herbs. “Nah, I got everything covered. Don’t worry about it.”
Sandy clapped her hands together as she scooted away from Stew and pulled out a book. “Great. I’ve been looking forward to this all day.”
Anabelle noticed Suzuki was doing the same, except he was looking through his map, cross-referencing it with a book he had. He seemed to be deep in thought.
Beth opened her HUD, and a lute appeared in her lap. She strummed it lightly, singing quietly under her breath. It was hard for Anabelle to hear the words, the woman was singing so softly, but it was loud enough that the elf could say Beth had a beautiful singing voice. The whole afternoon was turning into something magical.
After a bit of silence, Sandy looked up from her book. “Anabelle, you don’t use a wand for your magic, do you? And you’re not casting traditional spells either, right?”
The elf, delighted to have a conversation about magic with someone who knew their stuff, leaned forward, the fire warming her. “No, it’s not traditional in certain respects. I was trained in the Path of the Traveler. It’s an ancient elvish…I guess you could say religion that specializes in using magic in a completely organic, elemental way, coupled with a variety of fighting styles.”
“It’s very elegant. I’ve never seen anything like that since I’ve been in Middang3ard. You should teach it. I think there are a lot of elves around here who would be interested. Maybe even some humans, if we have the capacity. You know, having to use familiars and all.”
Anabelle initially felt the desire to tell Sandy that the Path was not for everybody since it was a rigorous exploration of the self, but she thought better of it. She’d been chosen as a child. There had been nothing special about her other than her pedigree. Maybe it was time to bring the Travelers back for everyone. The Path wasn’t doing much if there was no one walking it.
“That’s not a bad idea,” Anabelle admitted. “Maybe I’ll take to the mage…Diane, right? That was her name?”
Sandy turned back to her book. “Yeah, you should do that,” she murmured.
Anabelle leaned over to Terra. “So, how’s it been fighting with another barbarian?”
Terra raised an eyebrow at her. “Excuse me? I am not a barbarian. The term you’re looking for is ‘orc chieftain.’ It has been fun to be around someone as reckless as I can get. Maybe not as smart or good looking, but it’s been fun all the same.”
Sandy, without raising an eye from her book, smirked. “Not as good looking. I think you’re wrong about that. My man is hot. Excruciatingly so.”
Anabelle laughed as Terra blushed. “Still not sure how I feel about the fraternization in your ranks,” the elf joked.
Suzuki closed his book and leaned back against one of the decapitated stalks. “MERCs don’t have ranks. There’s an intel department and then the rest of us. Keeps things simple. Anything like leadership is up to each party. Might seem weird to all you military folk, but it works pretty well for us.”
Anabelle was about to answer, but Terra cut her off. “The DGA isn’t heavy on rank either. Anabelle’s pretty much in charge because she’s the best one for the job.”
The elf avoided everyone’s eyes. She wasn’t used to receiving compliments. Before she could say anything, Stew leapt up to his feet and shouted, “Grub is on!”
Stew passed around plates of the steaming stalks of whatever plants they had just destroyed. Anabelle looked down at hers, unsure whether she should take a bite, but it smelled too good not to. She tore into her food, utterly surprised by the litany of flavors that played across her tongue.
Everyone else was doing the same. Once their plates were cleared, there was a collective sigh from both parties. “Goddamn, Stew, you can fucking cook,” Terra whooped.
Stew, looking immensely proud of himself, stood and took a bow. “Thank you, thank you. Further proof that I’m more than a devilishly handsome face and unbeatable rock-hard abs.”
Sandy came up to Stew’s side and wrapped her arms around him. “I’d say angelically handsome. You do have that baby face.”
Stew rubbed said face as Sandy leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. “Babe, come on. I don’t have a baby face.”
Terra, who was walking past Stew to check out the exit from the cavern, slapped him on the back. “In orcish, it’s called korah-jah-kil, or, a man with the face of one still nursing.”
Stew glared at Terra. “I’ll have you know, I never breastfed. My mouth was too weak. Couldn’t latch if I wanted to.”
Silence fell over both parties, finally broken by Beth. “Uh, okay, that explains a lot of things. You guys ready to get moving? I feel like we’ve had a long enough kumbaya hour. I’d prefer not to hear anything more about what Stew did or did not do with his mother’s tits.”
Suzuki checked his map again. “Yeah, you’re right. We’re not too far from the treasure chamber anyway.”
Anabelle glanced in the direction of the exit. “Might as well. It’s not like the safety of the nine realms hangs in the balance.”
Stew whispered in Sandy’s ear, “Those DGA suits are so serious.”
The two parties moved out, leaving the remains of the murderous plants behind them and descending into a narrow tunnel that continued for a mile or two before opening slightly, giving them all room to breathe.
Beth led the party, again stopping at different intervals to dismantle traps. Only one trap was sprung, when Stew was leaning over Sandy to take notes, and he annoyed her enough that she set it off, causing a plume of sleepin
g dust to settle over everyone. Luckily, Anabelle saw it in time and managed to freeze the dust into ice crystals that fell to the ground without harming anyone.
They went on as Stew sulked in silence.
The traps let up, and they were making better time than earlier. Anabelle hardly even noticed. Her perspective had changed drastically since the battle with the plants. It wasn’t about having a role; a dungeon crawl was about the interplay between the different party members.
She was acutely aware of the difference between how she’d been thinking about teamwork and how the Mundanes did. She used teamwork to bring out the best in her. The Mundanes seemed to think of teamwork as the only possible way to function.
The tunnel took a hard left turn and split into six different paths. Suzuki consulted his map, Beth looking over his shoulder, pointing out the notes that she’d scribbled. After a few minutes of deliberation, they chose one of the middle paths and continued.
Anabelle watched Terra as they traveled. The human was quieter than usual. Anabelle wondered what she was thinking about. She also wondered what having open communication like the Mundanes would be like, or if she was even capable of such a thing.
There was a lot to consider, most of which had never crossed Anabelle’s mind.
Suddenly, Suzuki raised his hand, stopping the two parties. “I think we’re coming up on it. There’s a doorway down there. Be prepared for anything.”
Everyone in the party drew their weapons. Anabelle was ready for another fight. She’d been itching for one since they had finished lunch. Fighting side by side with Sandy had been exhilarating, like painting or writing a song together—an aspect of combat she rarely experienced.
The two parties came up to the door, which had a face carved into it. A riddle door.
Anabelle sighed, remembering the failings of the dungeon crawl that the DGA had gotten stuck on. “Goddess be damned, another of these things?”
Suzuki shook his head and laughed as he pulled out his book. “No, nowhere near as bad as the one you described from what I’ve gathered. All the riddle doors in this dungeon are kinda like…imitations. Check this out.”