Guilty as Sin

by Rita Hestand

  "I didn't mean that… " his face contorted. "I meant no insult." He frowned and stared into her eyes.

  "I bet this Little Dove could handle anything."

  His face screwed up in a frown, "How did you know about her?"

  "You called her name in the fever." She told him.

  "You think she meant something to me, do you not?"

  "Well, of course, she did." she shrugged. "It's been my experience that when men are sick or dying, they call the woman's name they love. So, tell me, do you love her. You can tell me."

  "Well, I am not dying." he smiled as he stared at the dirt in front of him. "But you are right. I loved her dearly."

  "I thought so. You mentioned her before, but I didn't know her name until you said it in your sleep. She must have been very beautiful. I am sad for you that things did not work out."

  His glance was sexually aware, she saw it, only a glimmer but it was there.

  "Well don't be, I’m not." He looked at her again, smiling warmly once more. "Yes, she was beautiful. But you are wrong, in your thinking." He stood up and sighed, "She was my mother."

  Lissa stood up too. "Your mother?" she chided with disbelief.

  "You do not believe me?"

  "Well, I don't know. But a man doesn't usually call for his mother when he's sick or dying." She replied sharply.

  "I am neither sick nor dying. He does when he barely knew her. When she died so heroically, and he never got to know her well. To thank her for what she did. My mother was a great woman, she took an arrow for my father she loved him so much. It killed her. Love is a powerful thing," He glanced at her once more, then looked away. "It can take or give. And her death nearly killed my father because of it. Their love was so great, so powerful. That is the kind of love I seek, and yet, she died, and I do not wish this for my wife."

  Lissa mouth flew open. "Oh my God. How very sad."

  "Yes, my father grieved for her for many moons. I was a small boy. I can hardly remember what she looks like now. But I have missed her my entire life. Many times, I tried to conjure her in my mind. How she must have loved my father so. That is the kind of love that all men should seek. Sometimes I see a flash of her in my dreams, but I never know if it is real or simply imagined."

  "I'm sorry. I just assumed."

  He smiled. "I told you I would never lie to you. The girl I spoke of was the girl I was to marry. But there was much lacking in that relationship. I think secretly she loved another. It is best it did not work out."

  She hung her head, "I'm sorry for that, too. But you told me you loved a lady and I thought… "

  "Get some sleep," he told her.

  There it was again, "Get some sleep." Whenever a conversation got to intense, he would say that to her. Especially when he wanted her to shut up. She nodded. She went back to her blanket and she heard the rattler before she saw it. She froze. "Oh God!" It was a whisper, not a call for help.

  Fear spewed from Lissa mouth, sweat and tears ran down her cheek as she stared at the rattler knowing one move and she'd be dead. She stood there stiff as a board, staring down at her blanket. She knew she couldn't move, that the snake would strike if she did. Out here in the middle of nowhere, there was no way she could get to a doctor fast enough. She'd die if that snake bit her, and she knew it. She'd seen Mary McCluskey die at a church social of a rattler's bite. The doctor had been on call to a pregnant woman's labor, Mary only suffered about two hours and she was dead. Right in front of all her family.

  Moon saw Lissa, stared, then heard her and then saw the coil of the snake.

  "Do not move." He told her.

  "I don't think I could move…" she cried.

  He grabbed his knife and came toward her, in a flash he had killed the snake, but blood splattered everywhere. He quickly took the knife and threw the dead snake far into the bushes.

  He saw the blood on her chin when he turned around to look at her, and he reached to wipe it away, when their eyes met.

  "I will not let anything hurt you," he told her softly. "Do not be afraid," he told her as he came closer.

  She swallowed.

  Their gazes connected and held as he stared into her eyes. "Get some sleep. I should have saved him, they make a tasty meal. But you have already had snake. But somehow I don't think I could swallow him after he scared you to death." He said and headed toward his bed. When he turned to look at her, he saw her lying on the ground, she'd fainted.

  He picked her up and moved her bed closer to him and laid her down. He feather kissed her lips and put the blanket around her. "Sweet one, so beautiful, so brave."

  Later that night he held her in his arms. He stared down into her face, so serene in sleep, so beautiful. His lips grazed her temple as he pulled her ever closer to him. For some reason it felt right to have her in his arms. How could that be?

  When she woke, her head was curled just under his chin. She didn't move, she couldn't. She'd never felt so safe in her life as she felt now. Strong arms held her possessively. Wrapped in his arms, she knew nothing would harm her as long as he was with her. It was a strange and wonderful feeling that assailed her.

  It felt so right being there. But she was sure he wouldn't agree. She scooted away and he came awake.

  "Good morning, feeling better?" he asked.

  "Yes, of course, why wouldn’t I?" she asked.

  "You fainted after the snake." He smiled.

  "Oh," she nearly made a huge mistake. She thought he held her because he wanted her, but he held her to take care of her. What a fool she was.

  Not even an Indian could love her.

  "I didn't realize." She tried to smile. She glanced at him. "How are you feeling?"'

  "Stiff, but fine. I think we should travel on now."

  She nodded, handed him some jerky and they were on their way.

  They saw all sorts of wildlife that day, some deer as they were leaving the forest edge and getting into more rocky country. They saw squirrels and rabbit and even a mountain goat.

  "Do you like animals?" he asked her as he pulled her easily along the rocky ledges.

  "Most of them, I guess. I love rabbits and squirrels, I like to watch them. Every now and then I would catch an otter playing at the creek, they are so cute. Sometimes I feel a bit guilty eating the rabbits, but they are tasty. Some I'm afraid of. I like horses and dogs best. I never liked cats though. They are sneaky and hard to train."

  "Did you have a pet back home?" he asked just to make conversation as they walked along the rockier parts of the country.

  "Dancer was my horse's name. She was a fine mare. Do you have a horse?"

  "Not at the moment I don't. I rode one of the mustangs then sold it. Jack has a stubborn mule, and two wolves he's trained to be civil."

  "Wolves?" she questioned.

  "Yes, I wanted to warn you of them. They are trained not to bite anyone but the bad people."

  She chuckled, "Can they spot a bad person?"

  "Pretty much." He smiled. "It is said by my people if you talk with the animals, they will eventually come to you and understand you, but if you don't try to talk to them, then your fears will overcome you."

  "That is strange. I did talk to Dancer often. What did he name the wolves'?" She asked, holding his hand tightly now as they edged across territory that was more treacherous.

  "Cole and Cody."

  "What odd names for wolves." She chuckled.

  "He named them after his two brothers that he didn't like." Moon chuckled.

  "He didn't like his brothers?" she asked softly.

  "No, they both made something of themselves and thought him too ignorant."

  "That is sad. Everyone is different. I have learned that true wisdom and intelligence can come in many forms. Some know nature better than others. Some have talents, like tracking, trapping, mining, ranching, even playing a piano is a talent."

  "Yes, I'm beginning to realize that myself." He told her.

  "Can you play a piano?"

>   "No, I'm afraid the only thing I can play is a flute."

  "A flute?" she smiled. "I wish I could play something to make music."

  "I make my own flutes, most of my tribe can play them and make them." He told her. "That and drums."

  "Music is a luxury to me."

  "Can you sing?"

  "Yes, but not well. Just enough to enjoy it."

  He smiled, "It is to be enjoyed, to feed your soul. It does not matter the sound, what matters

  is that you express your feelings in them."

  "I knew a man once who played a harmonica, it was so pretty. I used to sit on top a pickle barrel and listen to him on Saturdays when we'd go to town. He'd play so many songs for the kids in town. My favorites were Shenandoah and Beautiful Dreamer."

  He smiled. "Come on, we better move on."

  He took her hand and squeezed it to assure her.

  Then suddenly they ran into a huge hornet's nest and surprising them they came out of their cocoon. He grabbed her and pulled her close against the rocks. Shielding her from all harm.

  "Did you see the size of them," she asked breathlessly.

  "Yes… " he whispered his eyes going over her. Their gazes locked onto each other, almost hungrily. She licked her lips and his eyes sought them.

  His mind was not on the hornets now and neither was hers.

  As he pulled the blanket around them, the hornets made a beeline for a small tree, missing them.

  The closeness sent a silent message and he raised the blanket to see her face. All the fear was gone, replaced by something else. Something he recognized. Something he felt as much as she did.

  She stared unwavering at him.

  "Don't be afraid," he murmured.

  "With you I am never afraid." She whispered, not taking her eyes from him.

  Her words fueled his actions. Without thinking this time, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her for all she was worth, as though she were a precious gem, he let his lips wander over her face, memorizing the feel of her eyelashes, the taste of her cheek, the sweetness of her nose, the sensual curve of her brow and then back to her waiting mouth, that seemed to greet him. Her lips moved in answer to his quest, as though she'd been waiting for this moment since she first met him. Raising his head, he stared into her eyes, before reclaiming her lips with a sigh. His tongue shot out to lick her lips, then press her mouth open as his tongue slid inside to waltz with hers. She moaned raggedly. "Oh… "

  When she opened her mouth, he stole inside once more, swooping to dance with her tongue, to press his lips against her warmly. His hold of her became tighter. She did not object or pull away. She was a welcomed participant of the kiss. Instead, her arms went up and around his neck, pulling him down to her, letting him feast upon her oh-so soft lips. Her hands threaded his hair, and she pressed her body against his. Their hearts seemed to beat in unison, pounding against their chests. Her breasts swelled against the camisole, wanting to be freed to touch his silken skin. It was not a time to talk, but a time to feel, to speak without speaking.

  His hand went to her cheeks as he slowly caressed her swollen lips. His thumb stroked her there. It was so erotic the way he looked into her eyes and stroked her softly. "We will not speak of this." He told her gently.

  He took the blanket from their heads and it began to rain lightly. He glanced around to find the hornets, but they were gone. He turned to look at her face, he saw the question in her eyes, he saw the hurt he had inflicted with his words. Suddenly he took her cheeks into his hands and caressed her with his thumbs. She closed her eyes. A soft rain came down, but they didn't seem to notice. Water dripped from her hair to her breast, and he watched its trail. Too wrapped up in the moment, he kissed her hungrily now, as though the very rain itself drove him to make her his.

  She strained to be closer. The feel of her body pressing against him, had him aching to take her and make her his.

  He kissed her again in the rain, this time savagely, as though he meant to act upon his feelings. There was no fear of him in her body, only submission. She answered him eagerly, thrusting herself hard against him. He groaned at the feel of her pressing so invitingly against him. Over and over he kissed her as though he couldn't get enough of her and she was eager to respond. They were lost in a world of their own. The rain seemed to spur their kisses, breathing wasn't an option, they pulled apart a time or two, but kissed again, the need outweighed everything. He picked her up in his arms and held her, still kissing her. They were drenched from the rain, but it didn't matter.

  Suddenly sanity prevailed, and he pulled away, slowly, his eyes going over her. Staring into her shocked face. "I won't apologize for that, sweet Lissa." He told her his eyes devouring her. "It is probably the last time we will be alone."

  A slight smiled curled her lips. "I don't expect you to." She said breathlessly. "We've been through a lot together, it doesn't have to mean anything. I mean…" she said as the rain came down at them still so unaware.

  "Let no words destroy what we just shared." His eyes caressed her. "For I meant every moment of it."

  "Oh Moon… so did I." she sighed against him now, her hand going over his big strong arm. He held her with the one arm, staring down into her warm brown eyes.

  When he didn't move, she saw something she thought she'd never see in any man's eyes. Desire. It made her weak, it made her want, it made her stronger knowing she created that in him.

  He nodded, his glance connecting to hers and a slow burning smile lit his lips. "Good, we should go now!"

  She nodded. He took her hand and squeezed it just enough to let her know that everything was alright between them.

  She felt a happiness she'd never known, and a sudden fear that she might lose that strange connection they had too. But a new hope filled her.

  She realized that all that had happened, the hornet's nest, the snake, and the man her father had sent to find her, none of that matched the few moments of that one kiss in the rain. A kiss he didn't apologize for. She licked her lips and wondered if there would ever be another like it.

  Chapter Seven

  But only a few miles from Jack's place, they stopped to get more water. Moon was up the hill from her, while she filled their canteens with water from the creek, when a skunk wandered near. She didn't realize what the sound was until she whirled around. When she spotted him, she froze, he automatically was startled and raised his tail in defense and sprayed her, then scampered away innocently.

  "Oh no!" she cried aloud. "Oh, you little… "

  Moon heard her and came running, "What is… oh no!" He shook his head and began to laugh. It wasn't just a little laugh, it was a belly laugh. He threw back his head and couldn't stop the laughter.

  She frowned up at him now!

  "It isn't funny. I have torn clothes, now I have torn stinky clothes and nothing to change into. This is not a funny situation, Moon."

  "Depends on where you looking at it from." He smiled. "I am sorry. I do not mean to laugh, but of all the things that have happened, this is a funny side to look at."

  "I need some tomatoes to wash it off. And I don't think it's funny at all. It'll take a month for the smell to wear off."

  "Well, I guess you'll have to stay down wind of me."

  He laughed again.

  She frowned at him.

  He continued to laugh.

  She put her hands on her hips and glared at him.

  "Come on, we'll get to Jack's and he'll fix you up."

  He took her hand and pulled her along as though nothing had happened.

  They made it to Jack's cabin that afternoon. The two wolves greeted them, sniffing her, they whined and moved away. "See, even they don't like me!"

  "They know what it is, most animals know."

  Moon smiled. All the while Moon stayed close to her. "You are not afraid of them?" he asked her.

  "As long as you are with me, I'm not afraid." She answered their glances meeting for a second. He could not stop the stare b
etween them. He seemed to search her soul. Her words filled him.

  But they were not alone any longer and they both seemed to realize it.

  They moved now to the cabin.

  Lissa stared at the clapboard farmhouse, situated in a small valley of beautiful pines trees. It was well taken care of, for a farmhouse, with a huge wrap around porch that went around the entire cabin.

  "I've never seen a porch that beautiful." Lissa whispered.

  Moon smiled, "Jack and I built that onto the house a couple of summers ago." He told her. "He likes to sit out here when the weather is nice."

  "I can understand that." She moved to admire the solid wood posts around it.

  "Wait here," he told her.

  She watched through the doorway as Moon went to talk to Jack.

  Even from the door she could see it was a good size cabin with one bedroom and a kitchen she noticed quickly as he went inside. The kitchen was big and roomy and had a big table with chair around it. The living area was almost as big and there were a couple of chairs and a fireplace. It looked homey.

  "I'll be damned boy, I was wondering when you'd get back. Did you sell the horses?" an old gentleman greeted him with a big smile.

  "Yes, I did." Moon came up to the man informed him. Lissa watched the affection between the two men and marveled as she stood at the door. "I've got the money for them too."

  Lissa saw the big smile on Jack's face and how he stared with open honesty through the doorway at her. He was short, he had gray hair, with a dirty flop hat on his head, and he looked strong despite his age. But most of all she liked the welcoming smile on his face.

  "Good," Jack eyed her closely now. "So, what's going on out there?"

  "Oh, I'm afraid my friend ran into some trouble. Skunk trouble."

  "For crying out loud."

  "Lissa," he opened the door wide now and saw her standing there shyly.

  "That's a real pretty name, and it looks as though you need a tomato bath." Jack smiled but didn't laugh. He could see her discomfiture.

  "I hope you have some?" she tried to smile.

  "I do, hon. Just wait. I'll get that washtub out there and you go on around the back there and I'll get it heated up for you and some tomatoes and have you fixed up in no time."