Wings Like Eagles

by Tracie Peterson

Christy swallowed hard. “It would be easier to say what I’m not afraid of.” She tried to say the words with a bit of a laugh, but it sounded more like she might break into tears any minute.

  “Are you afraid of me?” he asked.

  Christy started to say yes, but quickly realized it wasn’t true. She’d never felt more secure with anyone in her life. She looked at him for a moment, and her trembling stopped. Without thinking of the consequences, Christy reached her hand up to touch Curt’s cheek.

  “No,” she whispered. “I’m not afraid of you, only of what you represent.”

  Curt pulled her into his arms, and Christy didn’t resist. “I don’t represent what the others did, and I’ll tell you why.”

  Christy felt her will collapse. “Why are you different?” she asked, hoping he would have a reason that she could believe in.

  “I’m a Christian,” he whispered against her ear. “I believe in biblical values, moral purity, and the sanctity of marriage. I hold many things sacred, unlike a great many people in the world who believe there is nothing sacred in this life.”

  Christy pulled away and looked at him. He didn’t seem like any of the religious freaks she’d met in the past. She’d have never pegged him for an all-in-all Bible thumper, but he sounded staunch in his convictions.

  “I don’t know much about your beliefs,” Christy said, almost afraid to admit her ignorance. “Erik believes strongly in the power of God. Candy told me that Erik helped her to understand about eternity, but I don’t think I can cozy up to a

  God who lets nineteen-year-old girls die while fighting to give birth to their own children.”

  “You have to trust someone, sometime,” Curt said, leading her to the love seat in the middle of the room. Pulling her down with him, he held her close and began rocking the chair back and forth. “God has all the reliability you have never been able to find in people. Even I won’t pretend that I’ll never disappoint you or annoy you,” he said with a good-natured smile. “But God is forever the same. He’s faithful even when we aren’t.”

  The words sounded good to Christy. But her heart had been so scarred from previous encounters that she resisted considering their hope.

  “Give us a chance, Christy. Please.”

  Christy felt his arms tighten around her. She wanted to say yes. She wanted to accept his love more than anything else in the world, but painful memories haunted her mind and frightened her in such a deep, unyielding way that she pushed him away. Jumping to her feet, Christy ran as fast as she could back down the hall. At the foyer table, she grabbed her purse and car keys and, without getting so much as a jacket, she bolted out the door.

  Christy drove in circles around the city before finally ending up at the hospital. Making her way to intensive care, she was surprised when the nurse told her that Candy was awake and had been asking for her. Christy hastily donned isolation garments and went into her sister’s room.

  “Candy?” she whispered, coming to her bedside.

  “Christy, I’m glad you’re here.” Candy’s voice was so weak that Christy had to lean down to hear it.

  “The nurse said you were asking for me.”

  “Yes. Did Grant sign the papers?”

  Christy frowned. “I don’t know. Grant told me he would sign the papers, if I…” She let the words trail off and hoped that Candy wasn’t lucid enough to realize what she’d been about to say.

  “If you what? Tell me, Christy, what did Grant make you promise?” Candy’s voice seemed to take on a bit of strength.

  “You answer my question first. Are you and Grant in financial trouble? I mean, before this accident and even before the cancer.”

  Candy closed her eyes tightly. “Yes.”

  “Why didn’t you come to me? You could have asked for my help. What happened? Why isn’t there any money?” Christy seemed to forget her sister’s delicate condition.

  “Grant’s gotten himself involved in some bad deals. He’s gone through everything. I didn’t know what to do, and that’s why I was coming to see you when I had the accident.”

  “Grant asked me for a great deal of money,” Christy admitted in a hushed tone. “He promised to sign the papers giving me the baby if I gave him the money.”

  Candy nodded. “I thought as much. I’m really sorry, Christy. It’s a bad situation, and I can’t help you.”

  “Just tell me why,” Christy said, gently stroking Candy’s cheek. “Why does Grant need so much money? What has he gotten himself involved in that merits that kind of cash?”

  Candy opened her eyes to reveal her tears. “Drugs,” she whispered. “Grant is dealing drugs. Something happened to one of his shipments, and he owes a lot of money—they’ll kill him if he doesn’t deliver. If you don’t give him the money, no doubt he’ll sell the baby to pay them off.”

  Christy shuddered. “Don’t worry. He won’t get the baby.”

  Candy’s expression was one of dire gratitude. “Thank you, Christy. You’ll never know…”

  “Shhh,” Christy replied, putting a finger to her sister’s lips.

  With a tender kiss to Candy’s forehead, Christy turned to leave. “Get some rest. I’ve got work to do.”

  “Christy?” Candy barely mouthed the name. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too, Sissy.”

  Christy drove home in silence. Thoughts of Grant and his underhanded dealings consumed her mind. Her sister wouldn’t be in the hospital right now if it weren’t for him. Maybe none of this would have happened—the cancer, the accidents, the infidelity—had Grant not been involved with drugs.

  When Christy pulled into her drive, she wasn’t surprised to find Curt’s car there. Night had fallen, the temperatures had dropped down into the twenties, and without a coat, Christy was shivering noticeably when she walked through the front door of her house.

  “I was worried about you,” Curt said, coming to greet her as though it were routine.

  “You’re still here?” Christy stated, uncertain what else to say.

  “I fixed us some dinner,” Curt replied with a smile. He took her hand and walked to the dining room, where Christy could see he’d arranged a very intimate table for two.

  “I thought you might like this,” he said, expertly helping her into a chair.

  Taking the seat beside her at the head of the table, Curt stared into Christy’s surprised face. “Why don’t you tell me where you’ve been and why you look so angry?”

  thirteen

  Christy started to get up from the table, then changed her mind. On one hand, she resented Curt’s invasion of her privacy, and on the other, she was relieved to find someone to come home to.

  “You shouldn’t have done this,” she said stiffly. “You can’t just take over my house like it’s yours.”

  Curt smiled. “I was just sharing. I’ll restock the fridge—I promise.” He handed her a plate of beef Stroganoff. The aroma of the food made Christy’s mouth water and her stomach growl. She quickly realized it was the first thing she’d eaten all day.

  She started to eat, but noticed that Curt bowed his head to offer a prayer for the food. Quietly, she waited, uncertain what to do and feeling very awkward.

  “Father, I thank You for Christy and this food. Amen.”

  “That’s it?” Christy asked in surprise.

  Curt laughed. “I could go on and on about how fantastic I think you are, and I could ask God to fix things between us and—”

  “I get the point,” Christy interrupted. “I didn’t mean it that way, and you know it.”

  Curt shrugged. “Talk to me.”

  Christy ate silently for several minutes and accepted some warm garlic bread from a very patient and persistent Curt.

  Finally Christy knew that she couldn’t keep it all inside.

  She put her fork down and eyed Curt as if trying to figure out how he would react to the idea of one of her own family members being involved with drug trafficking. Not that drugs are all that unusual in thi
s day and age, she reminded herself, but will Curt understand?

  As if reading her mind, Curt reached out to touch her hand. “You can trust me, Christy.”

  “I went to see my sister,” she began. “I just drove around and around for a while, but I ended up at the hospital.”

  “But that’s not what has you upset tonight, is it?”

  Christy stared at Curt thoughtfully while she chewed. How should she tell him? Did one just blurt out that your brother-in-law was the neighborhood drug dealer?

  Picking up her fork again, Christy played with the noodles on her plate. “My brother-in-law has asked me for a great deal of money.”

  “To pay the hospital bills, right?”

  “No, in addition to the hospital bills,” Christy replied. “My sister wants me to raise their baby, and Grant has agreed, so long as I give him the money.”

  “He’s selling you his child? How much money did he ask for?” Curt asked suspiciously.

  “Let’s just say it’s a very substantial amount. I asked my sister what possible reason there could be for Grant needing so much money.”

  “And what did she say?”

  Christy looked Curt straight in the eye. “She said he’s dealing drugs, and he’s in trouble. He needs the money to bail himself out. If I don’t provide it, he’ll most likely sell the baby to pay off his suppliers.”

  “Is she sure?”

  Christy tried to note whether he sounded shocked or not, but the truth was, he appeared totally unaffected. She took a deep breath and replied, “Yes. That’s why she was coming to see me before the accident. Candy said they’ve lost everything of value and that Grant can’t meet his obligations. That’s why she was so desperate about the baby.”

  “And what does Grant say? Does he know that you know about the drugs?”

  “Grant told me that as long as I pay Candy’s hospital bill and give him the money he’s asked for, I can have the baby.”

  “And you believe him?”

  Christy realized it did sound rather stupid to trust a man like Grant to keep his word on a matter. “I don’t think I have much of a choice,” she said softly. “I didn’t know what else to do. I can’t let him take the baby, and now that I know he’s involved in something like this, well, I probably should call the police. Do you think I should?”

  “For now,” Curt began slowly, “you should probably keep it to yourself. After all, if Grant gets wind that the police know what he’s up to, there’s no telling what he’ll do once the baby is born.”

  Christy nodded. It all made sense to her.

  “I am curious, though,” Curt continued, “have you thought about the responsibilities of raising a baby alone?”

  Christy bit at her lower lip and refused to meet his eyes. “I suppose I can’t fully understand the responsibility,” she confessed. “But I do know that I’ll love that baby almost as much as its biological mother would. No one else can give it that.” She seemed defensive and almost frightened.

  “No one could doubt that you would love the child, Christy. I just wondered if you understood how time-consuming it would be.”

  “There’s no other choice,” she whispered, and her eyes were filled with conflict. “I have to do this. There’s no one else. Erik certainly can’t be responsible for an infant. At least I can stay home and be here with it.”

  “What about a father?” Curt asked gently. “Every baby deserves two parents.”

  “What we deserve and what we get in life are usually two different things,” Christy said rather bitterly.

  “That’s true enough, but, Christy, you can’t deny that a mother and a father would be better than a single working mom.”

  “Better? I don’t know. More convenient and perhaps easier, yes. But I can’t say that two parents are more ideal unless I know who the two parents are. I can give the baby a home and a mother,” Christy said as though reasoning with herself. “I am financially secure.”

  “There’s more to offering a good home and security than the financial aspect,” Curt reminded her. “You can’t be everywhere at once, Christy. You’ll wear yourself out, and then what good will you be to the baby or to yourself?”

  “If you know a better way, I’m open to suggestions,” Christy stated, getting to her feet. “But if that way includes giving the baby over to someone else, then don’t bother to tell me about it.”

  Curt got up slowly and put his napkin on the table. He walked to where Christy stood looking so strong and determined and encircled her with his arms. “We could do it together, Christy. You could marry me.”

  Christy’s mouth dropped open and the shocked expression on her face said more than words ever could. Curt remained undaunted, however.

  “I mean it. It’s not such a bad idea. You know I’ve come to care for you. I want us to work through our differences and—”

  “Be parents?” she interjected.

  “I’d like very much for us to be parents, one day. With kids of our own and all the trappings that go with frumpy old mar- ried life. I enjoy your company, Christy, and I think we’re good for each other.”

  Christy pushed at his chest, but Curt held her firmly. “Ah, Christy,” he whispered against her ear, “I could take care of you and the baby. You wouldn’t have to face this alone, and you wouldn’t have to be so afraid.”

  “You only want to marry me because you can’t have Debbie,” she said and pulled away. This time Curt let her go.

  “You’re on the rebound, Curt. You just want to get married. I’ve seen it before in my friends, and it never works out. I don’t think we should see each other anymore because you’ll just go on putting your love for Debbie into what you imagine we could have in its place. I won’t be the other woman.”

  Christy walked out of the room and left Curt to contemplate her words.

  “I don’t love Debbie,” he called out, and Christy stopped. “Debbie and I were always meant just to be friends.”

  Christy felt her heart give a jump. “Curt, I—”

  The telephone rang and before Curt could stop her, Christy went to answer it.

  “Hello?” Christy waited for a moment. “Yes, this is she.” Several seconds passed, and Christy heaved a heavy sigh. “I’ll be right there.” She hung up the phone and felt her heart break.

  “The hospital?” Curt questioned.

  “Yes,” she murmured, turning to him. “They can’t find Grant, and they need me to sign some papers. Candy’s on a respirator now, and they have to take the baby by cesarean. They don’t expect Candy to live through the surgery.”

  fourteen

  Grant was still unavailable when Christy and Curt reached the hospital. Because of this and the lack of time to do otherwise, Christy was given a battery of papers to complete and sign, all while the nurse told her what was about to take place. Candy had al-ready been taken to surgery and was barely holding her own. Her blood pressure had steadily dropped to the point where the doctors knew they had come to the end of waiting. If the baby was to survive, they would have to take it now. With a shaky hand, Christy filled in the appropriate information, glancing from time to time at Curt as though looking for reassurance.

  “What about your parents?” Curt questioned after the nurse had left the room.

  Christy grimaced. “Dad is in Australia with his latest wife. His job is very demanding, and he can’t leave. It’s typical for him, and the only reason we called him was to be able to say we did it.”

  “And your mother?”

  “I let Erik call her. She’s in Europe.”

  With nothing more to say about the matter, they sat in the sterile silence of the private waiting room. This, Christy thought, is where they isolate the family who is about to lose someone to death. This is where they keep you so you can’t upset everyone else when you get the bad news.

  Christy was grateful when Erik showed up. Refusing to have anything further to do with her brother-in-law, she gave Erik the job of trying to find Grant
and took up the duty of pacing the room for herself.

  Everything in her life was about to change. How could she prepare herself? Within a short time she would be responsible for a baby. Not her own baby, but her dying sister’s baby. What in the world gave her the impression that she could take on such a job? Feeling panic rise like bile in her throat, Christy looked once again to the stalwart man who’d pledged to see her through this ordeal. Curt sat silently nearby, never once trying to force her to sit. He seemed to understand her needs. He nodded at her as if to say, “Yes, I’m still here, and I always will be.” It gave her a fragment of peace, and she took a deep breath before she began to walk the confines of the room again.

  With Erik spending most of his time down the hall at a pay phone, Christy was very aware of her privacy with Curt. All at once, she stopped, looked at him for a moment, then came to sit on the edge of the sofa beside him.

  In her mind were questions. Questions about life after death and Candy and Erik’s understanding about what would happen. Suddenly it was very important for Christy to understand as well.

  “Curt,” she began softly, “you said that you were a Christian.” He nodded. “So you know about this eternal life stuff, right?”

  Curt smiled. “Yeah, I know about it.”

  “Candy told me that Erik had helped her to understand and that she wasn’t afraid anymore. You know—about what would happen after she died.” Christy felt as though she were rambling. “I just wondered, what is it that she understood? How can she not be afraid?”

  Curt took hold of Christy’s cold hands and rubbed them gently. “She knows where she’s going,” he offered casually.

  “Candy no doubt accepted Christ as her Savior. Are you familiar with the plan of salvation?”

  “Not really,” Christy admitted. “I’ve heard about getting saved and the fires of hell and all of that, but I don’t really understand or know much about it.”

  Curt wasn’t the least bit condemning for her ignorance, and Christy took a genuine interest in what he shared with her next. “God sent His Son, Jesus, into the world. It was a gift that He offered in order to help people reconcile themselves to Him. Jesus’ sole purpose was to come and bridge the gap between God and mankind, and it cost Him His life so that it wouldn’t cost us ours.”