Discarded

by Shae Banks

  His arm tightened around my waist, but he didn’t say anything. There was nothing to say.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  By Tuesday, the dressing on my hand was ready to be changed, and I called first thing to make an appointment with my surgery. It was healing quite well, but it was still uncomfortable, and I was hoping they’d be leaving some of the dressings off.

  I was still tender, bruising had come out on my ribs, temple, and back, and the stitches in my hand were painful, but I was glad to be getting out of the apartment.

  Callum had brought me some things from the flat on Sunday, insisting I stayed at his place until I was better, and I hadn’t disagreed. The one thing I had disagreed on was his insistence I tell my parents. I didn’t want to worry them on the off chance they’d give a shit. But mostly I didn’t want to have to explain the whole mess to them. I certainly didn’t want to answer questions they’d have about Johnathan and Callum. I was just leaving his building when he called.

  “Are you outside?” He sounded concerned.

  “I’m going to the surgery. This dressing needs to be changed,” I said, crossing the road and cutting through a car park.

  “I’ll pick you up,” he said. I heard what I thought was him tipping water into a sink.

  “No, it’s fine. I’ll come to you when I’m done.”

  He was quiet for a moment then said, “Okay. I’ll meet you outside—”

  I sighed. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.”

  I hadn’t been back since I left the hospital. Callum had insisted I stay at his apartment, and I hadn’t argued against it. “I have to step inside the building at some point, Callum. I work there. I’m supposed to live there.”

  There was a long silence at his end.

  “Callum?”

  “Okay. Most of it is clean, if you’re sure…”

  “I’m sure,” I said. “Really. My appointment is at eleven, I should be with you about thirty minutes later.”

  “I’ll fix lunch.”

  I smiled. That was his go to. When everything was going wrong, he prepares a meal. It was how he coped. It was far better than my avoidance technique. “Okay. Need me to bring anything?”

  “Just yourself. See you soon.”

  I ended the call and turned onto Main Street. With my hood up and my head down, I walked quickly through the center of town.

  “Bekah?”

  My stomach twisted but I couldn’t walk on. I couldn’t just ignore him. I kept my head down as I turned around. “Hiya, Dad. I’m in a bit of a rush, doctor’s appointment.”

  “What’s wrong with your hand?”

  Shit. “I cut it. I’m fine, just needs a new dressing.”

  He was right in front of me, and I looked up.

  His eyes fixed on my face. He was furious. “Who did that?”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “Are you coming, Bill? Oh, my god.”

  That was just perfect. Mum had come out of the shop on my left and was staring at my face.

  “Bekah, what happened?”

  Thinking on my feet I said, “I can’t be late for this appointment. Do me a favor and let me go now, I’ll come ‘round later to explain.”

  Mum was teary-eyed, but she nodded as Dad said, “Make sure you do.”

  I nodded and turned around, walking away quickly.

  It wasn’t the time. I didn’t want them to know about my life, especially not the bad stuff. They’d have found out about my relationship with Callum soon enough, especially after Ruth had seen us together the previous week, but the stuff with Johnathan I wanted to keep private.

  I called Callum.

  “Is everything all right?” he asked as soon as he answered.

  “Yeah, I bumped into my parents and… Well, they saw my face. I have to go and see them. Today.”

  “Okay. What time do we need to be there?”

  That surprised me. “Ummm…”

  “What?”

  “Probably best to go around three,” I said. “Is that okay?”

  “Of course. I’ll have lunch ready when you get here, and you can tell me how this came about.”

  “Yeah. I won’t be long, I just arrived at the surgery.”

  “I’ll see you soon.”

  I ended the call and stuck my phone in my pocket as I walked through the double doors.

  I pushed back my hood and glanced at the door as it opened and a nurse I recognised stepped out. It was the one from the sexual health clinic. The one I’d given Johnathan’s details to. The only person who could have let him know.

  She paused, staring at my face.

  “Jane.”

  Right then it all made sense. Her hair was very different, and her face was rounder, but there were certain similarities. The shape of their eyes. The way her lip lifted in a silent sneer.

  She was Sharon Pierce’s sister.

  “Bekah, I…”

  I looked beyond her to the door and said, “It was you? You did this to me.”

  Her eyes were fixed on the black eye and swelling where my head had connected with the baseboard. “I—”

  She was about to make excuses, to try to explain her actions away. I didn’t want to hear it. There was nothing she could say to me that would make me understand why she would betray a patient like that. He could have killed me. My temper flared.

  “I’ll be reporting it. Breach of confidentiality won’t go down too well, but I doubt it’s as bad as attempted murder.”

  She visibly paled but stepped forward, reaching out a hand as though she was about to beg me not to, but I didn’t really care about her career or how she felt. Before she could say anything, I said, “I’m sure someone will want to speak to you soon. Excuse me, I have an appointment.”

  She stepped aside to let me pass. I gave her a final glance as I reached for the door and was sure I heard her sob as the door closed behind me.

  I checked in at reception and sat on a chair to wait.

  I received a few looks from others in the waiting room as I removed my coat. I wasn’t surprised, the state of my face coupled with the bandaged hand was enough to pique anyone’s curiosity. But while they looked horrific, they felt worse. Every stab of pain was a reminder of that night. Of what he tried to do. Of what I had done.

  I wasn’t blameless, but did I deserve what I’d received? Callum said no. But he would, wouldn’t he?

  He’d done so much for me. He continued to be there for me, despite everything.

  I was stronger with him. He pushed me to be better. To reach out for the things I wanted and to abandon the things that were bad for me. I didn’t know how long we would last, but I was so thankful for him. He’d stayed by my side through the very worst days and didn’t ask for anything in return.

  Why was that?

  What did someone like me have to offer someone like him?

  I couldn’t work it out.

  I knocked on the front door and stepped back. Callum took my hand and squeezed.

  “Just be honest. They’re your parents, they love you.”

  I nodded as the door opened and forced a smile. “Mum.”

  She looked at me and frowned, then turned her head to Callum. When she’s taken a good look, she stepped aside to let us in. “Why are you knocking?”

  I shrugged, dropping Callum’s hand and went inside. “Is Dad in?”

  “Putting the kettle on,” she said, closing the front door. “Go through and sit down, love.”

  “Thank you very much, Mrs. Daniels,” Callum said as he followed me inside.

  I looked back at him when I got into the living room and sat down on the sofa. He gave me an encouraging smile and did the same.

  “I hope you don’t mind my accompanying Bekah? She’s had a difficult few days, and I thought it best not to leave her alone,” he explained.

  Mum sat in her chair and nodded, then said, “What’s going on, Bekah?”

  I took a breath. “I was seeing som
eone.”

  She glanced at Callum. “The married man?”

  I looked down at my lap.

  “Mrs. Daniels,” Callum interjected, “Bekah wasn’t aware of his marital status when she first became involved with Johnathan Pierce. When she found out she tried to end it, but he manipulated her into maintaining their relationship. When she tried to end it a second time, he became violent. Thankfully, I was able to step in, and we had thought that was the end of it until four nights ago when he gained entry to my hotel and attacked Bekah. I was not present, unfortunately, but I arrived with the emergency services. Bekah was badly hurt, but there is no lasting damage, thankfully. We will be pressing charges against him.”

  Mum was shaking her head. “Why…”

  “Forgive me,” Callum said, taking my hand, “but following the response she received when her brother-in-law overstepped, she felt unable to disclose her plight to anyone within her family.”

  I hadn’t realised Dad was standing by the door until he said, “He swore it was a misunderstanding.”

  Callum got up and approached my dad with his hand extended. “Mr. Daniels, I’m Callum Lowell, Bekah’s boyfriend.”

  He looked over his shoulder at me. Dad was looking at me, too.

  I looked away.

  “I assure you there was no misunderstanding,” he continued. “I’ve known Bekah for four years now and am confident her version of the events is the truth. But that matter is long since closed, she assures me.”

  Dad shook his hand. “This Pierce…” Callum stepped aside to allow my dad a clear view of us all. “How long?”

  “A year,” I said quietly. “It got out of hand over Christmas. Callum let me stay at the hotel and helped me get rid of him. Then he offered me a promotion, and I moved into the hotel.”

  “You’re living together now?” Mum hissed.

  I shook my head, but Callum said, “Some of the time. I have an apartment on the harborside and have made that my official residence while Bekah has taken the flat above the hotel.”

  “It came with the promotion,” I said weakly.

  “What sort of promotion?” Dad asked. I couldn’t tell if he was skeptical or impressed.

  “Bekah took the position of general manager of The Georgian,” Callum said proudly. “She has orchestrated a significant remodeling of the ground floor, and we plan to reopen in April. Bekah can tell you more about it, that’s her area of expertise, for all intents and purposes I’m just the chef.”

  I glared at him, but he simply smiled and returned to the sofa.

  Dad cleared his throat. “I’ll… The tea.”

  There were a few long seconds of awkward silence. I didn’t know what to say, and Callum had seemingly finished his announcements. It was Mum who finally spoke.

  “So, you’ve left the gas station?”

  I nodded.

  “Well, that’s a relief. Those hours were terrible.”

  I shrugged. “They paid the bills.”

  “You didn’t have to pay bills, you could have stayed here,” she argued.

  My foot began to tap as I fought not to respond. We’d had the same discussion a few times, and it always came back to the same point. I didn’t feel comfortable in this house. How could I live here when they believed him over me?

  “I think you can understand why Bekah left her family home, Mrs. Daniels,” Callum said.

  I wanted to tell him to shut up, but I couldn’t manage words.

  “She’s left him,” Mum said quietly.

  I looked up at her. “What?”

  “He was knocking off one of the women at his work,” Dad said, coming into the room with two mugs. He handed them to Callum and I. “Ruth caught them at it last Friday and kicked him out. In the end, she decided she couldn’t live in that house knowing what he’d done in her bed, and we spent the weekend moving her into number fifty-six.”

  “Ruth is the sister we saw last week?” Callum asked as dad returned to the kitchen.

  I nodded. “God, is she okay?”

  Mum sighed as Dad came back and handed her a mug.

  “She’s upset,” he said, taking his seat. “And she owes you an apology. We all do.”

  Hearing that from my dad should have been comforting, but it just made me more uncomfortable. Dad had never apologised to anyone in my life as far as I could remember, and I wasn’t sure how to handle it.

  “We should have backed you up, love,” Mum said. “If we had, Ruth could have been rid of him a long time ago and this…”

  I swallowed. Of course, it was still about Ruth. How she felt. How her life was falling apart. Not me. Not how I’d been made to feel, or how I’d been affected.

  I’d bet they helped her with the costs of moving, too. There was always time and money for Ruth.

  I put down my mug. “I’m sure she’ll get over it. I’m sorry we can’t stay. We’ve got a lot to do. Being in this mess cost me three days already, and I can’t afford any more time off work. I’ll be in touch soon.”

  I got up, fastening my coat, and Callum did the same.

  “It was nice to finally meet you,” he said, allowing me to pass and following me to the door.

  Dad didn’t say anything, but Mum got up and followed us. “But you haven’t—”

  “I live at the hotel now,” I interrupted her. I didn’t want to hear it. “My mobile number is the same, and the hotel is listed in your contacts. I added it when you got your new phone.”

  I opened the front door and stepped out. Mum didn’t say anything else, and Callum said a quiet goodbye as I walked up the drive to his car.

  He unlocked it, and I got in, resting my head back and closing my eyes.

  “It will get better,” he said, starting the engine.

  I didn’t really care. I had a new life. I had a fresh start thanks to Callum, and I was determined to make a go of it.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  The apartment was so quiet. I’d slept late, and Callum hadn’t disturbed me when he got up to go into work. I got out of bed, pulling on his robe, and went to the kitchen. I was finally hungry, so I cut myself some bread from the loaf on the board while the kettle boiled and then drank my coffee, looking out over the harbor. I didn’t open the doors and go onto the balcony, it was far too cold, but at least the sun was shining, unusual for February.

  I watched the gulls hovering over the boats moored there, most were under winter cover, just a few of the larger yachts and one or two fishing trawlers further out looking ready to go out with the high tide, and thought of the night Callum had found me down there. It seemed such a long time ago, not just a few weeks. So much had happened, so much had changed since then. I’d changed.

  It was subtle, but the difference was apparent. My confidence was growing. I had a long way to go, but I felt able to face what was happening in my life. Much of it was thanks to Callum. He’d made me see what he saw in me.

  My thoughts drifted to the times we’d had sex. The first time, at the hotel, when I’d been so nervous. Had he known?

  Then the time I came to him, asking for his help. I never could have imagined he was going to spank me, or introduce me to his way of getting off. I’d never tried anything like that. I had toys, everyone had toys, but he took it to another level. I knew it was a thing, I’d read the books and seen the movies, but I hadn’t experienced it myself. It wasn’t how they portrayed it. There was no way they could capture the freedom I felt, the confidence it gave me afterward, after he’d helped me see myself from another point of view.

  No one had pushed me like that while still giving me complete control.

  He trusted me. He believed in me, which was more than could be said for my family. Tears filled my eyes, but I blinked them away. I wouldn’t cry, not over them. They loved me, I knew that, and I loved them. Even Ruth. But they let me down at the most crucial time. I needed them, and they took his side for her sake. I couldn’t forgive them, and I could never forget.

  But Callum. He d
idn’t question my version of those events. He didn’t ask if I was sure, if I’d said or done anything to lead him on. He understood.

  It was the same over Johnathan. There was no judgment from him, only support. He’d been more caring in the few weeks we’d been together than my family had in years. That told me all I needed to know. If I ever questioned his loyalty to me, I had that to remind me.

  The problem was I had nothing to offer him. I could love him. I did love him. But he had everything together. His life was about as perfect as I could imagine life being. He had a successful business, a loving family–apart from his brother who fucked him over–and financial security. All I brought was emotional baggage and damage to his hotel.

  I was still standing here when Callum came home.

  “Have you eaten?” he asked, placing a hand on my waist and kissing the top of my head.

  “Just. How come you’re home?”

  “I have no intention of standing around to watch paint dry. Since we moved the smaller things yesterday afternoon, I helped them with the sofas and armchairs, covered the larger pieces with sheets, and left them to it. I’ll go back at four. I did, however, stop by your old place.”

  I turned around. He was holding a stack of mail.

  “This came.”

  I looked at the one on the top. A white envelope with a local postmark and the health service logo. I took it, and he stepped aside, allowing me to go over to the sofa. He followed, pulling another envelope from his back pocket. “Mine arrived on Friday. I meant to go up and check for yours, but time ran away from me. Shall we do this together?”

  I put my other letters and my mug down on the coffee table and nodded my head, sliding a finger under the flap and tearing it open.

  I was both eager to know the results and reluctant to look. I’d tried to push the possibility of carrying an infection out of my mind, but with the confirmation right there in front of me I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the truth. Callum had been right, I did need to know for certain, not just for our sakes but for any other partner Johnathan had. What was it the campaign said? You have as many partners as your partner. That was the crux of it, anyway. Getting tested was the responsible thing to do, and I knew most things could be treated.