Hate Love

by Katie Ford

  I smiled to myself, feeling warm from the inside out. Because suddenly, this job just got ten times better, the CEO at my side. Plus, my welcome at Picto-Town had been a surprise. I hadn’t been sure what my new co-workers knew about me, or what their reaction would be when they found out I was Anonimo. I’d just caused them a huge headache, after all, and maybe they wanted to bury me before we even started.

  But going on stage with Theo had been amazing because instead of getting booed like I’d half-expected, they were cheering my name.

  That was real strength. Acknowledging your weaknesses and welcoming a competitor because she’d make your team that much stronger.

  Not just any competitor too, but a woman – a female hacker who’d already breached your systems.

  So filled with the warm fuzzies, I went back to my desk feeling empowered. I didn’t want to let Pictogram down. Anonimo had set out to destroy the company, but by being here, I was Mia again and not just some faceless hacker. This was a community I wanted to invest in, and not the other way around.

  A purple haired girl strolled over to my desk, clutching the Marc Janow ad in her hand. “Mia?”

  “Hi!” I said with a friendly smile. What now? The girl was so cute, dressed like a classic computer nerd. She had on a black t-shirt with a black Javascript logo. Her flared tulip skirt was a perfect mix of casual and hip, finished with cute kicks. I’d never looked so stylish in my days as a programmer.

  She pushed her glasses up with her bright neon blue nail.

  “Hi, I’m so glad to meet you. My name is Sophie. I’m on the front-end team. I just wanted to say how inspirational you are.”

  “Thanks,” I said, smiling. “I like your shirt, by the way.”

  She looked down and laughed.

  “Thanks. I’ve got so many free t-shirts like this from conferences and hackathons, it’s pretty crazy. I should buy some real clothes for a change.”

  “Me too,” I replied cheerfully. “But free is always good.”

  We both burst into laughter then because free clothing was a thing for engineers. A lot of people wore free stuff from their companies even when their options were worth millions. So to see the Javascript logo was a bonding point, especially since I was really good with Java.

  And suddenly, I thought about Jill. Jilly has been my partner in crime since the beginning, screaming eff you at all those brogrammers. Jilly would like it here with the Amandas and Sophies who were competent, yet cool. Jill would be relieved to find some women just like us.

  At that moment, another woman holding an adorable brown yorkiepoo in her arms came over. “Mia, you are so inspirational to women engineers everywhere,” she said, smiling. “I’m Eunice from the data algorithms team, and this is Mr. Dooey.” She ruffled the dog’s fur.

  Mr. Dooey? What kind of name was that? But I smiled my welcome.

  “Thanks,” I replied. “Glad to be here.”

  Sophie’s voice dropped to a whisper then, her eyes looking around.

  “Can we let you in on a secret, Mia?” she said confidentially. “It isn’t just that you broke through the security weaknesses in Pictogram, you also exposed Theo for who he is. A total player.”

  I frowned on the inside, but tried to keep my expression neutral.

  “Oh? What do you mean? I thought everyone knew he got around?”

  Eunice, stroking the yorkiepoo, mused, “Yeah, everyone knows, but you brought it to life with those orgy pics. I mean, he runs through those poor models like he’s trying to win a relay race.” Her cute little dog yelped as if in agreement, panting with its mouth open. “Isn’t that right, Mr. Dooey?”

  Sophie giggled. “It was all conjecture before. You know, rumors? But you found the truth, Mia, and those pictures made it concrete. Ha. Serves him right!”

  Eunice leaned closer, whispering confidentially again. Clearly, these ladies had no idea that Theo and I had had two passionate sessions by now.

  “Not that he has ever inappropriately crossed the line with any of his employees,” she said. “But those poor women. They were nothing to him, just big zeroes.”

  I tried to laugh it off.

  “Well, from what I saw in the photos, they weren’t exactly victims. The girls seemed to be having a good time.”

  Both Sophie and Eunice giggled in unison then.

  “That’s true. Some of those girls were in a lot of pictures from different sessions. They clearly went back for more.”

  I nodded before taking a breath to speak.

  “I appreciate your comments, but in all honesty, that’s not why I did it.”

  The women’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.

  “It isn’t?” asked Sophie, brows wrinkling in confusion. “Then why? Was it just for fun? Lots of hackers do stuff just to be annoying, but posting those orgy pictures was pretty far out.”

  I took a deep breath.

  “I know, but it was a weird revenge of sorts. I was really mixed-up myself, to be honest, because I never wanted my Marc Janow photo to trend. I never wanted to be Picto-famous or any of that. All I wanted was to be left alone, and that was taken out of my hands when Mr. Wainwright sold my photo.”

  Sophie called up the ad campaign on her phone.

  “Honestly, it’s an amazing shot,” she said, nodding with appreciation. “We love it. I love it because it shows your power as a woman.”

  Eunice agreed. “Power as a female programmer too. That’s really rare.”

  But I wanted to make them understand.

  “I totally get it, and I’m happy it’s had this result, but honestly, I never intended it to blow up like this,” I explained. “My best friend Jill and I were goofing around on a sunny day, that’s all. But when Mr. Wainwright sold my image, I lost my privacy in one fell swoop.”

  Both women nodded in agreement.

  “Yeah, that’d be rough if you didn’t see it coming,” Sophie mused, slowly shutting off her phone.

  “Now that you’ve phrased it like this,” Eunice agreed. “I don’t feel sorry for our fearless leader anymore. Maybe he had it coming. Karma can be a bitch, and you can’t be a player and never get burned. That’s just not how the world works.”

  On the one hand, I appreciated their words because they were the words of female solidarity. But on the other, I wasn’t convinced because what I’d done was pretty heinous. There was a big difference between my Marc Janow sassy pose and nude orgy photos. Player or not, should the press vilify Theo for having sex with willing super models? Did he deserve the severe punishment Anonimo had doled out?

  So I tried to change the subject.

  “How is he as a boss?” I said curiously. “Nice? Mean? Easy to work for, or hard?”

  Sophie sighed. “Both, if that makes sense. Theo is awesome because he works harder than anybody here. If you’re working fifteen hour days, then he’s working twenty. Plus, the man is dead serious about equal pay and equal work for men and women.”

  Eunice nodded thoughtfully.

  “Yeah, he’s a pretty decent guy, championing female coders and even pregnant coders, if you can believe it. Most men shy away from ‘women issues’ but not this guy. There are good benefits here, and six months of paid maternity leave although the company actually doesn’t have to offer anything by law.”

  Man, that was eye-opening. Paid maternity leave is almost pure overhead for corporations because a woman gets full salary although she’s out. So I respected Pictogram’s female-friendly stance.

  “Plus, Mr. Wainwright funnels a considerable amount of money into coding programs for underprivileged kids,” Sophie added helpfully. “A real do-gooder in some respects.”

  Crossing my arms, I said thoughtfully, “So basically, aside from sleeping with an obscene amount of women, Theo Wainwright is an otherwise good guy.”

  Eunice and Sophie shared a glance before speaking in unison.

  “Kind of, yes.”

  And my heart thrilled because these women wouldn’t lie. I was the It G
irl famous for giving the middle finger to brogrammers, so they’d tell me if Theo was horrible. And yet, they were saying the opposite. My lover was fair and kind, even considerate to some extent.

  Suddenly, I felt awful for exposing Theo like I had. Just because I’d been upset about my photo going viral and being snatched up by Marc Janow without my knowing didn’t mean he deserved to have his private affairs out in the open.

  Shit. I’d acted just like the teenage boy who lives down the street, trolling for dirty photos with no idea of what he’s doing or the harm he’ll cause. I was no better than a child in some respects.

  And now, with more information, it was clear the attack had been unwarranted. The news was skewering Theo, but in truth, the way he treated women off the clock was unrelated to how he treated women at work. People have personal lives and professional lives, and unfortunately, in this case the wires had gotten tangled.

  Sophie laid the poster on my desk. “I know you hate this photo, but…” She paused with a beseeching smile. “Do you mind signing it?”

  I laughed. “Of course not. Happy to,” I said with a quick scrawl of the pen.

  Eunice smiled, pulling out the latest issue of Fashionista. Flipping through the pages, she stopped on the Marc Janow ad.

  “Would you mind signing mine too, Mia? I know you have mixed feelings, but still, you’re such an icon.”

  I looked down at my photo, and a smile tugging at the corners of my lips. Okay. It wasn’t awful. The more I saw the image, the more it grew on me.

  And after Sophie, Eunice, and Mr. Dooey strode off, I signed up for an account on Pictogram. As an employee of the company, it was important to have a user account. After all, what better way to get to know the product inside out? I had to start from somewhere, and an account was square one.

  Scrolling through the site and hitting up various profiles, I realized what Theo said was right. I was definitely in the minority. Users were dying to be the next Kim Kardashian and selling their personal “brands.” It was literally the main reason most people even used the app.

  I followed the profile of a Picto-famous girl from last year, recognizing her from an interview on a hilarious political commentary show on The Comedy Channel. Interestingly, this woman had spun her Picto-fame into being a huge proponent of environmental protection. Her photo uploads often offered educational tidbits about the environment and ways to get involved.

  Hmm. That was food for thought. Suddenly I felt dumb.

  Because my assumption had been that most Picto-famous It Girls were scantily clad women who featured designer clothes and vacations in their photos. They wanted you to be envious of their lifestyles, putting forth an aspirational brand. But I’d been pleasantly surprised. Activists were just as often Picto-famous celebrities, pitching meaningful messages and not just products.

  I searched for Theo’s profile and found that it was private. Well after what Anonimo had done to him, it was understandable. I’d make my profile private too given what had happened, but with a press of a button, a friend request buzzed his way.

  Sure enough, a little after noon, Theo messaged me on the site.

  TheoW: Thought I’d never see the day you’d be on here. What do you think?

  MiAnonimo: Honestly, it’s an awesome product. Nowhere near as awful as I thought. The technological engineering is phenomenal.

  TheoW: Thanks, glad to hear. Wish I could take you to lunch today, but have an important meeting.

  MiAnonimo: I understand :) It’s not a problem.

  TheoW: You were awesome up on the stage this morning btw. I wanted to kiss you in front of everyone.

  MiAnonimo: Glad you didn’t! It’s my first day. ;)

 

  TheoW: Can I see you later?

  My stomach fluttered with butterflies. Theo wanted to see me again? Twice in one day? Eagerly, I wrote back.

  MiAnonimo: Yes def. Sounds good. :)

  The rest of the day, several other female programmers approached my desk. My Picto-fame hadn’t worn off yet, but it was actually quite nice. I was meeting more people in one day than I normally ever would walking around campus. Instead of the girl that no one noticed, I actually felt like people could see the real Mia for a change. An intelligent, hard-working brunette who actually wanted to make the world a better place.

  By the afternoon, I’d met so many Pictogram employees that it was mind-boggling, men and women both. Everyone had been super nice, going out of there way to say hello. What a surprise. There clearly were not a lot of brogrammers at Pictogram, or if there were, they were avoiding me like the plague knowing my reputation.

  Theo had done a good job. Company culture starts from the top, and he’d made it clear that female programmers were just as valued as men.

  I appreciated that, and my respect for the CEO grew. It would have been so easy to turn this into another Silicon Valley frat house, but instead, Theo had made sure that his company as fair and open-minded.

  Wow. Listen to me. I’d gone from outraged hacker to fawning fan in a couple weeks flat. No wonder this guy always got what he wanted.

  But there were still surprises that first day. Late afternoon, I was working on a patch for the security infrastructure when my cell rang. Frowning, I stared at the unidentified number before remember that Theo and I were supposed to meet up. With a breathless smile, I answered.

  “Hello?”

  A sharp voice sliced through the air. “Mia, the Marc Janow people are here.”

  Looking around confused, I asked, “I’m sorry. Who is this? What? What Marc Janow people?”

  The voice dripped pure poison. “This is Penny, Theo’s assistant. You have a photo shoot today with Marc Janow, in case you forgot.”

  Her nasty tone cut, but I didn’t let it get to me.

  “I wasn’t aware of a photo shoot,” I said. “No one told me about this.”

  Penny’s voice grew even more sour.

  “Oh no, did I forget to tell you?” she simpered. “I must have totally forgotten to send you the info. I’m sorry. Hope you aren’t in the middle of something important.” Her voice then hardened into obsidian. “They’re here waiting for you in conference room, 18B. I’d get there pronto.”

  “Right now?” I asked in alarm, casting an eye at the unfinished work.

  She sighed again dramatically. “Yes. Right now. Chop chop.” Then, the line went dead with a click.

  Holy shit, this Penny person was awful. Clearly, the woman was territorial, viewing Theo as hers alone, but I wasn’t going to let it get to me. My whole spiel was female empowerment, and there was no point in fighting with one of your sisters so early on.

  So with quick steps, I made my way to the conference room. Thank God, it was in the same building, otherwise I would have had to wander endlessly around the Picto-campus like a mouse in a maze.

  But why were the Mark Janow people here? What exactly was I stepping into? What photo shoot?

  Checking my face with a phone camera, I winced because my forehead seemed too big, my eyes staring off in different directions like some dazed catfish. Ugh. Plus, I wasn’t wearing any makeup.

  Penny couldn’t be serious, could she? This had to be a mistake of some sort. Maybe even a prank, seeing how the woman hated me on sight.

  But I scurried into the conference room, stomach in knots. Ugh. Hopefully Ashton Kutcher wasn’t waiting around the corner to jump out and terrorize me.

  When I walked in, a woman with half her head shaved and the other up in fun spikes greeted me.

  “Mia! I’m Gina,” she greeted warmly. “Welcome to makeup and hair.” She glided my way, gently placing her hand on the small of my back to show me to a corner of the conference room that had been transformed to a small dressing room. “Let’s get you in the chair.”

  “The chair?” I said uneasily, looking around. There was a red leather barbershop chair planted in the space, complete with a steel footrest. That was for me?

  She nodded.

>   “Up you go, Toots.” Gina squinted her eyes at me. “You’ve never done a photo shoot before?”

  Shaking my head quickly, I confessed, “God no. I’m more of the shy type.”

  The make-up artist smiled. “There’s nothing to it.” Pushing me down in the chair, she scrutinized my facial features carefully. “That’s surprising actually. With this kind of bone structure, I can’t believe you haven’t worked before.”

  Blushing, I looked at myself in the mirror in front of me. Wow, the compliments were coming fast and furious today, I could barely keep up.

  “Thank you,” I murmured.

  And Gina got to work then like a real professional. The woman had really cool dangly earrings that lightly swept the tops of her shoulders. As she put makeup on my face and fixed my hair, the woman was all business, wielding dozens of little brushes to magical effect. I had no idea what was going on, succumbing to the treatment because this was not my old life at all.

  I closed my eyes and thought about how much had changed in a short amount of time. My hefty salary would help my mom out, letting her cut back on from seven shifts a week at the hair salon. And I was actually working while getting college credit at the same time. Jerks like Roger would kill for an opportunity like this.

  But then my mind wandered to Theo. My stomach dipped with anticipation, thinking about seeing him later. Where was he? What was he doing right now?

  Just then, Gina gently tapped me on my shoulder. “All done, honey. Ready for your big moment?”

  Opening my eyes, a woman with long blonde dreadlocks smiled at me holding up a golden shimmering gown and black leather patent pumps.

  “You ready for this?” she asked with a smile. “It’s going to look smashing on you.”

  I gasped. The gown was work of beauty, like something you’d wear on a Hollywood red carpet. Not something Mia Smith wore in her day to day life.

  “Um, really?” was all I could manage in choked words. “Really?”

  Both women smiled at me.

  “Sure thing, hon,” spoke Gina again. “It’s going to be amazing, you’ll see.”

  And the ladies were right because when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, a stranger looked back at me. Loose ringlets cascaded over my shoulders in a chestnut wave. I had dark plum lips and dramatic black eye makeup making my eyes look even bigger. Gina had contoured my cheekbones accentuating them like that of a supermodel.