Hate Love

by Katie Ford

  She dabbed her eyes with her napkin. “I can’t let you lose your company.”

  “If I lose Pictogram, it’s on me. Not you. In retrospect, there are a million things I could have done to not be in this position. All of them have nothing to do with you.”

  She bit her lip, tears still streaming down her face. “You love Pictogram. You put your whole life and soul into it.”

  “But I made repeated fatal mistakes. For so long, the Board urged me to fix my party playboy image. I refused! If anything, it only made me party even more. Do you know how hard it is to party and have a good time out of spite?”

  Mia laughed, wiping tears from her cheeks.

  “It turns out it’s incredibly easy to to do actually. That’s why I did it,” I chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

  Mia gave me a small amused smile.

  I continued, “They want to expand Pictogram past just Millennials and make it a family app where user parents are comfortable posting pics of their families. The older generation and more conservative users were disturbed by my photos and are now turning to other photo sharing apps that have a more family friendly image.”

  Mia threw her face into her hands. “It’s all my fault. Everything! If those photos hadn’t have come out…”

  I took both of her hands into mine. “No, it’s not your fault.”

  She looked away unconvinced. Gently with my fingertips, I brought her gaze back to me. “Those photos represent the old me, but should I pretend none of that happened? Whether those photos came out or not, those sex parties happened. I can’t deny it.”

  What the Board wanted me to do was pretend I was something I wasn’t. Of course, things were different now that I was in love with Mia. But still, I’d had sex with a bunch of girls. Did that make me such a horrible person? Did that mean I should be crucified?

  Mia touched my lips with her fingertips with the saddest expression on her face. “I wish there was something I could do.”

  Kissing her fingertips, I said, “Just being here for me is enough.”

  She smiled woefully. “Okay. I hope it is.”

  Mia’s determination to fight for me touched me. She was the kind of woman that would make a wonderful wife. A man was unstoppable with a strong wife behind him who had his back.

  Wife? What was happening to me? How had that thought snuck into my head?

  I’d never considered getting married before until I met Mia, but I couldn’t deny it. Mia would make a great partner. What I’d said to her was the absolute truth. The playboy in all of those orgy photos was the old me.

  Mia would be a perfect match for the new me in every way. I couldn’t think of a better person to be my partner in life.

  Chapter 13

  Mia

  I had been dying for weeks for Jill to come visit the Pictogram office. She was finally here!

  Walking to the front desk, I saw Jill talking with Amanda. “I’m so happy you could make it!” I cried.

  Jill embraced me with a hug. “Thanks for having me! This place is amazing.”

  Amanda handed Jill a guest I.D. “Here you go! Welcome to Pictogram.”

  Jill clipped it onto her shirt. “Thanks! I’m proud to be an official visitor.”

  “How is the online programming class going?” I asked Amanda.

  Her face went into a grimace. “Okay, but do you think you have time to help me with my assignment? I’m really stuck.”

  I gave Amanda a reassuring smile. “Of course! How about this afternoon?”

  Amanda beamed in appreciation. “That’s perfect. Thank you!”

  “No problem.” Turning to Jill, I asked, “You ready for the grand tour?”

  “Absolutely. This campus is amazing,” she said in astonishment as we walked. “The little town square. The retro style movie theater. The European style café. Picto-Town is so cute!”“

  “Isn’t it? Theo modeled it after a town in the Czech Republic,” I gushed. I didn’t want to be that girlfriend who boasted about her man, but Theo was definitely a remarkable boyfriend to humblebrag about.

  When we walked by Theo’s painting, the one used in the Marc Janow ad, Jill stopped and commented, “Hey! This is from your ad.”

  I nodded looking at the magnificent piece of art. “Theo painted it. Can you believe it?”

  Jill gave me a surprised look. “He did?”

  “Yup.” My cheeks were hurting from smiling so much just talking about Theo.

  “That’s pretty impressive,” she said, gazing at the large canvas.

  I couldn’t help being proud of him. Everyone in the world should know how incredible he was. “He’s a man of many talents.”

  Jill giggled with a sneaky smile on her face. “I bet.”

  Rolling my eyes and laughing, I said, “Get your mind out of the gutter! Come on. I’ll show you my desk.”

  At my desk, Jill looked around at the other engineers sitting at theirs. “Wow. I guess I just assumed there would be cubicles or something.”

  Looking around, I agreed, “Totes! I did too!”

  “This is nice.” She waved her arms in a loose zigzag motion. “It’s a cool community vibe.” Looking around, she asked, “Where is Theo’s desk?”

  I pointed up to the glass windows. “Up there. He has his own office.”

  “Oh yeah, of course. The CEO and all. That’s pretty cool though with the wrap around windows,” she remarked.

  “Yep. He’s the eye in the sky. I mean, that’s what they call him,” I explained, starting to feel bashful for talking about my boyfriend so much.

  “You and Theo seem to be spending a lot of time together now,” Jill said, picking up my hedgehog figurine on my desk. It was a cute little gift from Theo after I told him how much I loved the adorable creature.

  I flushed. “We have.”

  She fiddled with the hedgehog. “I feel like I haven’t really seen you, you know, outside of class.

  “I’m sorry,” I apologized. I’d been neglecting my best friend.

  She put the hedgehog back down on my desk. “No, I get it. If I had a boyfriend, I would do the same thing.”

  Not knowing what to say, I focused on tidying up my already neat desk. I had been spending more and more time at Theo’s.

  She looked conflicted when she said, “I have something to tell you.”

  When she hesitated, I said, “What? Is everything okay?” Worry crept into my chest.

  Theo walked by just then. “Hey! Is this Jill?”

  “Hi, Theo. Yep. This is Jill, my BFF!” I said.

  Theo stuck his hand out. “Nice to meet you! I’ve heard so much about you.”

  Jill took his hand. “Great to meet you too.”

  Theo looked at his watch anxiously. “I’ve got to run to a meeting, but maybe we can all go to lunch?”

  Jill nodded agreeably. “Sounds good!”

  “Awesome.” My face reddened as he kissed me on my cheek in front of Jill. “See you ladies later.”

  When he was gone, I was dying to hear Jill’s news. I couldn’t wait one more second. “What is it you have to tell me?”

  Her cheeks flushed crimson as she looked down again. “I’ve been seeing someone.”

  “Omigod! Who? That’s fantastic!” My excitement boiled over any worry I had. My BFF had a boyfriend!

  She cringed. “Roger.”

  Clasping a hand to my open mouth, I cried, “Roger!”

  She smiled bashfully. “We were together one night late at the lab, and can you believe it, he asked me for help. From there, we just started hanging out.”

  I squealed. “That’s great!” I paused suddenly remember Roger’s cockiness. “He’s nice to you, right?”

  She laughed. “He is! He’s pretty sweet if you get to know him.” She pointed at her shirt. “Look what he got me.” Her magenta colored shirt said, Turn it off. Then, turn it on again.

  I laughed at the reference to the BBC show we both loved. “I was going to ask you about that shirt
. I thought it was new!”

  She nodded. “We’ve been binge watching The I.T. Crowd. So, yeah. I understand that you’ve been gone so much because you know, I get it,” she offered.

  I was so happy for Jill. “I think it’s absolutely fab. I just hope Roger is treating you right.”

  She took my hand. “He is. My worry is if Theo’s treating you right.” She giggled. “He is so much hotter in person!”

  I grinned, remembering the first time I saw him. “That’s what I thought, too!” Looking at my friend, I said sincerely, “He is honestly a great guy.”

  Mia’s face was etched with worried. “I want to believe you, but all the news stories about him…”

  I shook my head thinking about how the media talked about him. “That was the old Theo. Theo isn’t like that anymore.”

  Jill bit her lip. “Are you sure? Some of the stuff that I read. And the photos! I mean…” Her eyes popped open wide. “The photos!”

  “He really isn’t like that anymore,” I insisted wanting my friend to not worry about Theo and me.

  Jill put a hand on my shoulder. “Okay. I hope so. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

  “Thank you. I appreciate that you care.”

  “Just be careful,” Jill warned me again.

  “Okay. I will. But don’t worry. Theo would never do anything to hurt me,” I answered, trying to reassure my friend that Theo was no threat to my happiness.

  But maybe I was also trying to convince myself.

  There was no reason for me to think that Theo was cheating on me or that there was another woman in the picture. We spent so much time together, but still, Jill’s concern planted a seed of doubt in my mind.

  What if Theo couldn’t change? What if he went back to his old ways? What if he got tired of me and traded me in for another woman like he’d done with all the women before me?

  Could I truly believe that he was a changed man and only cared for me?

  Jill hugged me. “You look so upset now. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

  I faked a smile. “No, I understand that you’re just looking out for me.” Jill was a tender hearted person. Her concerns were coming from a good place.

  She said kindly, “If Theo hasn’t done anything to make you doubt his feelings for you, then forget everything I said. I just want you to be happy.”

  Hugging my friend back, I said, “Thank you.”

  Pushing all the doubt out of my mind, I assured myself that Theo only had eyes for me. Fiddling with the diamond and ruby necklace Theo had given a couple weeks before, I smiled at my best friend, hoping Theo was as true to me as I believed him to be. Jill always had my back and she was just being cautious. Truly, there was nothing to worry about.

  Chapter 14

  Theo

  The Board meeting was excruciating to sit through. Warren sat across from me with his eyes trained on my every movement. Every time it looked like I was going to implode, he gave me a stern look and raised his hands to stay me.

  Warren, an old friend from college, lived on the same floor I did in the dorms. We became friends due to our mutual love for hip hop music. Blasting Souls of Mischief from my room with my door wide open had drawn him like a moth to a flame, and he popped his head in to see who I was.

  We became instant friends from there on, trading mixtapes of E-40, Mob Deep, and Master P. Our musical tastes were eclectic, and we bonded over sharing knowledge of the underground hip hop that we’d found.

  As our friendship grew, I showed him the project I was working on at the time, an early version of Pictogram. A business major, he’d been impressed by my endeavor and saw the money making potential right away. When Pictogram became official, Warren was the obvious choice as my COO, my right hand man.

  For the last few months, Warren’s duties as COO had expanded to being my unofficial anger management coach. Being skewered by a bunch of old dudes, the Board, wasn’t my idea of fun. In my humble opinion, all the geezers on the Board were out of touch with today anyway, but Warren pushed my approval for each and every member.

  As much as he tried to mollify my frustration with the annoying Board members, he also defended their actions. He balanced a delicate role as mediator between us. He had his reasons, backed up by research and financial analysis to why each member was valuable to Pictogram, but at that point, I just didn’t care anymore.

  Why should I listen to octogenarians who didn’t even own smartphones?

  Nonetheless, the Chairman of the Board, Lester Powell, stared down at me behind his thick bifocal glasses. In his gravelly voice, he declared, “We all think you’ve made incomprehensibly poor decisions as CEO. The naked photographs…” His face contorted into a mix between disgust and derision. “Orgies, Theo? Orgies?”

  Gritting my teeth, I looked at Warren who shook his head at me silently begging me to stay quiet.

  Lester sneered at me. “Your reputation as a womanizer, a man who partakes in orgies, is not helping the direction we want to take this company.” He was quiet for a moment. “You may not understand this, but people grow up. You may not have yet, but the Millennial generation are starting to get married and have children. Family friendly apps are the future.” Squinting his eyes, he said, “If we want Pictogram to be around in the future, then we need to prepare for it.”

  Lester Powell was as old as dirt with a rotund belly. From the looks of him, he was on his last legs. From my vantage point, I suspected he hadn’t prepared for his own future with his poor health: diabetes, hypertension, and obesity. Of course, I kept these thoughts to myself.

  The entire room was silent. No one moved while Lester continued his diatribe. He picked up a paper jam packed with charts and numbers. Reading from it, he said, “In a recent poll, 33% of users felt uncomfortable posting pics of their children on the same platform that is run by a CEO who has sexual orgies.”

  The other members of the Board shook their heads in displeasure. No one would look me in the eye. I couldn’t stay quiet any longer. “How did the other 67% feel about the photos?” I demanded.

  “I hardly think that’s the point!” Lester insisted, slamming the paper down on the table.

  “It’s a valid point.” I stood and snatched the paper up scanning the statistics. “The other 67% said they didn’t care.” I tossed the paper back down.

  Walter, another Board member, said diplomatically, “Theodore, that is not the point. 33% of dissatisfied customers means that’s 33% of users that will not be using Pictogram any longer. User retention is important. Those numbers are not good.”

  Sinking back in to my chair, I sighed. It wasn’t great, but 33% of unhappy users was hardly something to get frazzled about. Cocking my head at the paper, I maintained, “Those 33% of users stated they felt uncomfortable right now.” I jabbed my finger on the table. “This is not to say that these same users might forget about it in a couple of months and go back to using Pictogram.”

  Lester scoffed. “Do you have a magic ball to assure us that will happen?”

  I groaned loudly, looking up at the ceiling. “I don’t, but we have new features that users will love. We have new and improved emojis exclusive to Pictogram, facial recognition…”

  Walter cut me off. “Sooner or later other competing platforms will have those same features.”

  Lester cleared his throat. “You need to change your image, Theo. That’s the only way. You need to be the stable family man our users can relate to.”

  “I’ve tried. What more can I do? The media has their mind set that I’m this womanizing playboy,” I countered.

  Walter broke in, “You could get married, Theodore. That would definitely signify to the public that you are truly a changed man.”

  The other Board members nodded their heads in agreement.

  Eugene Carter agreed heartily. “What a wonderful idea! Let’s take a vote!”

  Jumping up, I shouted, “Let’s not take a vote on my marital status, please.”


  Lester smiled for the first time since the meeting started. “Theo, it’s a perfect solution. If you get married, then you can develop a new image as a devoted husband, a family man.”

  Warren nodded emphatically in agreement with Lester’s assessment. Eugene was smiling so big I was afraid his dentures were going to fall out. The rest of the Board members were one hundred percent behind the idea, staring back at me with outright approval on their faces. Slumping back in my chair, I thought it over with the entire room’s eyes on me.

  Lester crossed his arms. “What do you say?”

  The plan would kill two birds with one stone. I’d been thinking about asking Mia to marry me anyway. It was really just a matter of time before I did. If it was also a good business move, then why not?

  Chapter 15

  Mia

  Jill’s words of caution still swam in my mind days after she’d visited Pictogram. Doubts about Theo’s true feelings for me plagued me terribly even though he had yet to betray me or give me any definitive sign that he was starting to become uninterested in me.

  It was unfair for me to even consider Theo was capable of any betrayal. He was so sweet to me: giving me beautiful gifts and telling me how much I meant to him.

  I berated myself for resorting to my old ways of being self-deprecating. Even as Marc Janow’s new spokesperson, there was an inkling of fear that I wasn’t good enough for Theo. It was stupid and unfounded. My logical brain knew that, but my emotions were bubbling over inside me. I cared for Theo so much. If he didn’t feel the same way, I would be devastated.

  It wasn’t even the right time to be pondering all of this and using all my mental energy for negative thoughts. Theo needed me now more than ever. Today was the day the Board was taking a vote. All my focus needed to be reserved for supporting him, not drowning in speculative self-doubt.

  When I got a message from Theo, I was at the front desk helping Amanda with one of her assignments. With her work ethic, she was really improving. In no time, she would be ready to transition from receptionist to programmer. I was so proud of her.