Hate Love

by Katie Ford

Her face grimaced in recognition. “You’re Theo?” she inquired.

  “Yes, ma’am. I’m Theo.” My voice was conciliatory and on the brink of cracking.

  Mia’s mom shook her head dismissively. “I’m sorry. She doesn’t want to see you.”

  As she tried to slam the door in my face, I put my hand up blocking her. Ms. Smith pulled the door open and accused, “Excuse me? Are you challenging me, son?”

  I pleaded with her, “No, I’m not. I just want to talk to your daughter please. Just a few minutes.”

  Mia’s mom’s eyes narrow into thin infuriated slits. I’d really pissed her off by trying to hold the door open, but it needed to be done. How else was I going to see Mia?

  “Mom, what’s going on out here?” Mia said as she walked up behind her mother.

  Seeing her face, my anxiety was briefly lifted. I loved her so much. Just seeing her again helped my heartache even if she was not happy to see me.

  “What are you doing here, Theo?” she snapped. Putting a calming hand on her mother’s shoulders, she assured her, “I’m going to get rid of him, Mom. Go back inside.”

  Mia’s mom walked away, shooting daggers at me.

  I stuttered. “I…I…needed to see you.”

  Mia crossed her arms with hate in her eyes. “We have nothing to say to each other.

  Holding my hands up in surrender, I said, “Please let me explain.”

  Mia backed away to shut the door, but I pressed on, “Penny made it up. She ruined everything. She ruined us.”

  At those words, Mia stopped and stood in the doorway listening to me.

  I took a deep breath. “She took a video of me with someone else taken a long time ago and doctored it.”

  Mia crossed her arms defiantly. “Doctored it?” Her face told me that she thought the story was too absurd to believe.

  “It’s true! She paid someone to put her face on that other woman’s head.” I paused thinking about all the women I’d slept with. That wasn’t me anymore. All I wanted was Mia. “There are hundreds of sex tapes out there of me. Obviously, you know that, but that’s not something I ever want to do again. You’re all that I need.”

  Mia nodded her head slowly. “Right. What about the Board minutes?”

  I shook my head in confusion. “The Board minutes?”

  “Is it true that you only proposed to me because the Board forced you to?” she shot back.

  Mia had thought to confirm her suspicions with the Board minutes? She was sharp. I had to tell her everything. Every single detail. Or she would never believe me and take me back.

  “It’s true. They suggested I get married to improve my image.”

  Mia’s lips quivered as tears slipped down her face. “I knew it!”

  Dropping to my knees, I begged, “It’s not what you think. I didn’t do it because they wanted me to. I asked you to marry me because I love you. I want you regardless of what those assholes think. You’re all that I want!”

  Mia held back any more tears from breaking through. “I appreciate your honesty, but…” She shook her head and exhaled sharply. “I need to think things over. This has all been too much. What I need now is time to process.”

  I stood and looked her in the eye. There was nothing more I could say to change her mind. She’d have to decide herself. Quickly, I took her face in my hands. Her beautiful face.

  I studied every aspect of it just in case it would be my last time to see her in person. Her full kissable lips. Her big brown eyes. Her nose that upturned just a bit.

  Pressing my lips to hers, I gave her a fierce passionate kiss. If words couldn’t get her back, maybe a kiss would. I put my whole body and soul into that kiss trying to tell Mia how much I loved her.

  When I withdrew, Mia looked at me with such sadness in her eyes. A sob nearly escaped from my throat. That look said good-bye.

  I walk away from her house, my legs wobbly and my heart disintegrating. The only woman I’d ever loved slipped right through my fingers. If only I’d been more careful, if only I’d expressed how much I loved her, this would have never happened.

  When I turned around to get into my car, Mia was no longer on the porch steps. She was long gone.

  Chapter 24

  Mia

  Seeing Theo was not only a shock, but painful. I wanted to believe him, but my fear of being hurt again overtook anything else. He looked honesty pitiful groveling at my mom's door, but was that enough proof that he truly loved me?

  When I walked back into the house, my mom sat at the kitchen table with worry etched on her face. She gave me a sympathetic look as I sat down at the table not saying a single word.

  My inclination to hide in my room was useless. I knew my mom heard everything. She might as well anyway because I needed help.

  What the hell was I going to do?

  My mom patted the top of my hand. “You okay?”

  My heart ached intensely. It felt like either way: being with Theo or not being with Theo would be a painful endeavor. Seeing him shook me to the core, I missed him so much. Wiping away a tear on my cheek, I just nodded I wasn't okay. Not at all.

  Everything had fallen apart and I had no idea how to fix it.

  Crossing my arms, I stifled a sob, “What do I do?”

  My mom leaned in to look at me closely. “I can't tell you what to do, Mia.” My mother was a kind, wise woman. If she didn't have answers, how was I going to?

  I groaned, shaking my head. “Great! You choose the one time in my life to not have an opinion!”

  My mom laughed, squeezing my hand. “I can give you some useful advice.” She stood up to get me a glass of water.

  Swallowing back my sobs, I said, “Anything! Please! Tell me!”

  Placing the glass of water in front of me, she brushed the hair out of my face. “You need to look into your heart and decide what's best for you.”

  I sipped the water, feeling utterly helpless. “That's not real advice. I need you tell me what you think. Did Theo sound genuine to you? I know you heard everything he said.”

  My mom sighed, tapping the table with her fingertips. “He did sound genuine. But you know him better than I do. Maybe the Board did want him to get married, but does he seem like the type of guy that would bend to someone else's demands like that? Only you know that.”

  I thought about it. Theo was as headstrong as they make them. He definitely wasn't one to let anyone tell him what to do. I answered, “He's been the boss for the last twenty-five years. He pretty much does what he wants.”

  Recalling what he had told me about the last time the Board told him to do something, I added, “He told me that when the Board wanted him to tone down his party persona, but it actually made him want to party more. He said he basically forced himself to party as much as possible just to spite them.”

  “He sounds like he dances to his own drum.” My mom smiled with a shrug. “Then, I don't know why if he really didn't want to marry you, he would wilt under their demands now.”

  Mom had a point. Theo was a true alpha. I'd seen him stroll around Pictogram with a certain air about him. He was always in control. It actually seemed unlikely he would falter just because of the Board.

  “He does like to be in control,” I agreed.

  “Could someone, even this almighty Board, force him to get married?” My mom looked at me with kindness in her eyes.

  “I don't know,” I wondered. “Probably not.”

  My mom continued, “And this Penny girl. You've met her. What did she seem like to you? Does she seem like she'd do something that crazy?”

  The redhead's pinched face came to mind immediately. It always struck me as odd that she'd hated me from the beginning. I answered honestly, “Penny wasn't a very nice person, but was she crazy enough to plaster her face over another woman's head in a sex video? That's pretty crazy.”

  My mom stood to clear the table. “Maybe she's that crazy.”

  The idea came to me in a flash. “Well, there is one way I c
an find out for sure,” I said standing up and running into my room for my laptop. I watched the video again, pressing my nose closely to the screen. Damn. If the video was doctored, whoever did it did a damn good job.

  But still, there was a way I could know for sure. There is a program that can detect when videos had been altered. They'd used it recently in police body cam videos in court. Quickly, I pilfered a copy of the program and downloaded it to my computer.

  With anxiety building in my chest, I ran the file in the program and held my breath for the results. If it was doctored, then Theo wasn’t lying. But what if it wasn’t?

  I gulped. Then, Theo was lost to me forever.

  I paced the room as the video went under analysis. It was the longest ten minutes of my life. With a ding, the program alerted me: Doctored Video.

  A relieved sigh escaped from lips. I sat back staring at the screen in shock. The video had been doctored. Penny had truly been lying, while Theo was telling the truth.

  Why hadn’t I thought of running the video in the program to begin with?

  I watched the video again with brand new eyes. I hadn't noticed it before, but the time stamp in the bottom right corner had been tampered with. This video definitely had not been shot last week, not even in the last year. I just hadn't realized it because once I saw it, all of my insecurities had come roaring back – the abandonment I felt from my father, the fact that so many men hadn’t been interested me because of my weight, and Theo’s own sexual history. I had let my insecurities blind me and I hadn’t used my talent and education to show me I was wrong…until now.

  Theo was innocent. He really loved me. And I'd pushed him away.

  I needed to find him right away.

  There were only three hotels in our small town. He had to be in one of them. I needed to find him and tell him how wrong I'd been for not believing him.

  Running out the door, I yelled to my mom, “Theo was telling the truth! I have proof!”

  My mom ran out on the porch. “Be careful! And Mia?”

  I turned around to look at her before I got into my car. “Yeah?”

  My mom smiled. “You're following your heart! I'm proud of you.”

  I returned my mom’s smile. “Thanks, Mom!”

  My heart was telling me that Theo was the one. My one and only. He'd been true to me from the very beginning. I had to find him before it was too late.

  Chapter 25

  Theo

  After Mia sent me away, I drove back to my hotel in a daze. I collapsed onto the bed without flipping on the light. Mia was lost to me. She was never going to take me back. The disgusted look on her face when she came to the door seared through my heart.

  Could I blame her?

  Who would believe such a crazy story? A doctored sex video? The Board's request we get married? My genuine desire to marry her?

  It was all a complete mess. If I was Mia, I wouldn't believe a single thing I was saying either.

  Her beautiful face wouldn’t get out of my head. She was my ultimate choice for a wife, a partner, someone to share my life with. I threw my fist down into the pillow. My anger at myself overpowered my sadness.

  How did I not see the signs that Penny was in love with me? Her mood swings every time Mia was around. Her bitchy attitude for the last few months.

  Penny was certifiable crazy enough she could have hurt Mia and I was too stupid to even see it. If Mia didn’t want me, no one could blame her.

  Now, I was in this tiny town on the outskirts of Los Angeles, missing Mia terribly. I'd left San Francisco in a hurry, not telling anyone where I was. Obviously, I no longer had an assistant I could call to smooth things over for me.

  Who the fuck cared anymore?

  I'd missed countless meetings. The Board was going to probably fire me anyway since I'd been ditching meetings and not responding to any of their calls. Brandon and Warren had been blowing up my phone, but I couldn't answer them. Nothing mattered to me, but Mia.

  I could handle losing Pictogram. Shit. Building another tech company was doable. Pictogram could be replaced, but I couldn't replace Mia. She was everything to me. And because of my carelessness, she was lost to me forever.

  How was I ever going to recover from this?

  I'd finally fallen in love and the woman I loved so much wanted nothing to do with me. From the beginning, I should have told her about the Board's demands I marry her. That way, when I proposed to her, everything was out in the open. Then it would have seemed more genuine when I proposed from my heart.

  Instead, I thought everything was just going to fall into place. It didn't. Keeping that information about the Board from Mia was essentially lying to her. I didn't blame her for never wanting to see me again.

  I lay face down with my face pressed into a pillow and another over my head. I wanted to disappear, fade away into the darkness. Without Mia by my side, I felt more lost than ever before.

  Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. I flung the pillow off my head to be sure. Yup. Someone was knocking, but I wasn't interested in fresh towels or any other kind of bullshit disturbance by the hotel maintenance. I just wanted to lie in the dark and feel sorry for myself.

  But the knock on the door continued.

  I groaned, “Go away!”

  For love of God, couldn't a guy wallow in regret and sadness in peace?

  Soon, the knocks became insistent.

  For fuck’s sake.

  I climbed up off the bed, pissed now. Whoever it was better have a good reason to harass me like this! I threw the door open without even looking in the peep hole or flipping on the lights.

  “What?” I shouted.

  But, it wasn't hotel management or housekeeping. It was Mia standing there with her beautiful face startled into shock. “I'm sorry...I…I shouldn't have come,” she stuttered as she began to walk away.

  I wrapped my arms around her before she could move a muscle. “I didn’t think it would be you. How did you find me?”

  Mia chuckled softly. “There are only three hotels in Carpinteria. This was the second hotel I've been to.”

  I pulled her closer to me, smelling her hair. My heart ached. I'd missed her so much. “I'm so sorry,” I sputtered. “I should have told you everything. I guess I was afraid you'd leave me, but then, you left me anyway.”

  Mia shook her head. “I should have believed you in the first place. Penny drove us apart. She knew I'd fall for it because I still hadn't believed you actually loved me. I have insecurities, Theo and I let them blind me to the truth.”

  I held her face in my hands. “What? I love you so much. You've got to believe that.”

  She bit her lip and nodded. “It's hard to believe someone like you would love me.”

  I kissed her lips, her forehead, her nose, her cheeks. After each kiss, I whispered to her, “I love you. I love you.”

  Another guest walked by, staring at us. Pulling Mia into my darkened hotel room, I brought her over to the bed and sat her down. “Please believe me when I tell you I love you. I've never felt this way about anyone before. I never will. You're it for me.”

  Mia tucked her hair behind her ears. “I believe you. I looked at the video again closely. I didn't want to, but I did. I even ran it through the doctoring detection software. It was doctored like you said. I should have believed you from the beginning. I should have done that the first time I saw it, but I just felt so hurt and betrayed. I know you've done nothing to show me I can't trust you, but I didn’t think it through all the way. I didn’t realize the truth was how we both felt about each other.”

  I kissed the tops of her knees. “Thank you, Mia! Thank you! I would never hurt you. You've got to believe me.”

  She cleared her throat and continued. “Of course, there is more to all of this.”

  I sat back on my heels. How was I ever going to convince her I truly wanted her to be my wife outside of what the Board wanted?

  In a quiet voice, Mia said, “I realize that even though Bo
ard wanted you to get married, it didn't mean you had to.”

  I took her hand and pressed it to my lips. “I'd been thinking about marrying you anyway. It just so happened for the first time in history, the Board and I agreed on the same thing: you. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. Everyone can see that. You've changed me. You've shown me love, and I can't live without you. I can't go back to the Theo I was before. I need you in my life, Mia.”

  Mia took a deep breath and looked me straight in the eye. “I need you, too, Theo. I love you.”

  I cup her face in my hands. “I adore everything about you.”

  Mia blinked rapidly and tears slid slowly down her face. I kiss them away. “I took you to meet my family. I told you my darkest secrets. You're the one I want to start a family with. You are my forever, Mia.”

  Mia kissed me pressing her lips to mine with need and urgency. I held her in my arms breathing in her sweet floral scent.

  “Will you marry me, Mia?” I asked carefully.

  Mia sobbed in my arms. “Yes! I'll marry you, Theo. Yes!”

  My world was now complete. Even if Pictogram was soon to be taken away from me, I had Mia and that was what truly mattered.

  Epilogue

  Mia

  Two years later…

  I was just putting a load of clothes into the washing machine when Theo walked by. Since I was wearing just a shirt, Theo got a full view of my panties when I lifted up to get the detergent.

  Even though we'd been married for close to two years, he still couldn't keep his hands off me. “Wow. Look at you!” He attacked me squeezing my ass with his big hands. “What are you doing?” he asked kissing my neck.

  I giggled and pushed him away. “I'm trying to do laundry.”

  He pulled me to him. “Can't Gina do it?”

  I struggled to get to the washer, but Theo nibbled at my neck distracting me. “Gina isn't here today and the baby needs more onesies.” His kisses still sent trills of excitement down my body.

  Theo yanked my panties down. “Laundry can wait.” He rammed his fingers inside my pussy, which was already soaking wet just from him kissing my neck.