Blind Trust: A Military Romantic Suspense (Men of Steele Book 6)

by Gwen Hernandez

  He suddenly noticed the dark smudges under her eyes, the way her shoulders drooped. She was mentally and physically exhausted and he was pushing her to make potentially life-altering decisions.

  “I’m sorry.” He took a knee in front of her so she wouldn’t have to look up from her seat. “How about I sit in one of those chairs outside the door for a while, and you can stay in here and process, make lists, whatever you need to do? I’ll find a way to call my mom, and then check flight times to see if we need somewhere to stay tonight.”

  Her grateful expression made his heart skip. At least he’d done something right.

  “Yes, that would be great. Thank you.”

  He hoped it would be the last time she was happy to see him leave.

  Before the door even shut behind Todd, Lindsey crossed her arms on the cool table and put her head down. She was spent.

  She’d hoped for some kind of closure to this whole terrifying trip, but as long as Megan was on the loose and clearly out for blood, Lindsey could never fully rest, never truly feel safe. Not that she’d expected her so-called friend to stick around long enough to get arrested. She’d had hours between the time Todd and Lindsey had fled the cabin and the time they’d contacted Marti. And unlike the men, who all seemed to be locals, Megan had no ties here that Lindsey knew of. Especially with her brother gone.

  God, Pete. Part of her felt horrible about Pete’s death. She couldn’t imagine what it would be like to lose a brother—especially right in front of her—and the thought of taking any life made her ill. But he’d been plotting her murder, and he’d been prepared to kill Todd, so her sympathy only extended so far.

  The thought of losing Todd…

  Her stomach knotted. He’d been so good to her. But she’d needed a breather. When he was around, she could hardly think straight. His gorgeous face, the sound of his voice, his woodsy scent. Potent forces, apt to induce her to make a decision without weighing the costs.

  Besides, right now, she needed to focus her brainpower on Megan. The woman wanted revenge, and at this point, Lindsey just wanted to get their confrontation over with. To her mind, the risk of losing an encounter with Megan increased with every day that passed. No one could maintain the necessary level of vigilance Lindsey and Todd would need indefinitely. Megan surely knew that, was probably even counting on it.

  Which meant Lindsey needed to force a confrontation, controlling the variables as much as possible. The sooner the better. She could not passively wait around with a target on her back. As Megan was probably already learning, that was no way to live.

  They needed a way to draw Megan out of hiding and take her down for good.

  At the far end of the table, Lindsey spotted the paper and pen Todd had been doodling with earlier. A list would help. She needed to get the whirl of thoughts out of her mind and organize them, capture all of her ideas and then judge them later.

  Snatching up the notepad, she flipped back to the first page and sucked in a breath.

  Surrounded by tiny drawings of spirals and leaves and stars was a sketch of her face. It was an unmistakable rendering that somehow captured her with a minimum of strokes and made her look…luminous, otherworldly. As if the artist were in awe.

  Or in love.

  Lindsey’s heart tripped. As a rule, she didn’t do risk, but as Todd had pointed out, she had faced down murderers and lived to tell the tale. She’d risked her life for Todd and Megan. Did it make sense that she wasn’t willing to face heartbreak—again—for a chance to be with him?

  She set her shaky hands on the table and took a deep breath.

  Tearing the portrait from the notepad, she carefully folded it and slid it into her back pocket.

  The determined look in Lindsey’s eyes when she opened the door an hour later made Todd nervous. He entered the conference room at her gesture and let her close the door behind them.

  He shoved his hands into his pockets, his stomach jumping. “How are you feeling?”

  She gave him a weak smile. “Better, thank you. Still tired, but less overwhelmed.”

  “Good.” He didn’t want to push, so he just stood there.

  Warm air flowed from a vent overhead, the muffled murmur of voices from the cubicles outside the door infiltrated the room, the trees outside the window rocked back and forth in the wind.

  Apparently in no freaking hurry to enlighten him, she took a sip of water from a paper cup and cleared her throat, studying her hands before finally meeting his gaze again. “I’m not going to shut you out, and I’ll let you be my bodyguard for a little while, but emotionally I can’t jump right back in where we left off.”

  He nodded solemnly, holding back the urge to whoop. It wasn’t a declaration of love, but all he needed was a foot in the door with her. He’d take whatever he could get.

  “That means slowing things between us way down,” she said. “And I know that’s not really fair to you, but—”

  “I’ll go whatever speed you want.” Slow was better than no. “I’ll be a goddamned tortoise if that’s what it takes.”

  Amusement lit her face, warming his chest. “Is that faster or slower than a sloth?”

  “Which one would get to kiss you first?”

  “A sloth, definitely.”

  “Sloth it is.” He mimed moving toward her at a glacial pace.

  Rolling her eyes with an indulgent smile, she put her hands on his shoulders, leaned in, and gave him a quick peck on the lips before stepping out of reach. This sloth seemed destined for many, many cold showers.

  “What did you find out about travel?” she asked.

  If this was her attempt at a distraction, it failed. He handed over the burner phone Marti had given her yesterday. “Wendy returned these, so I didn’t have to borrow a computer. I haven’t booked anything yet, but there are no flights out to either coast until tomorrow morning, so we’ll need to find accommodations for tonight.”

  “Call Marti?” Lindsey asked.

  Todd nodded and dropped into a rolling chair at the table facing the bank of windows. The afternoon sun bathed the plain conference room in gold, a beam of light turning dust motes into glitter.

  He stared at the sight for a minute, his sleep-starved brain mesmerized, then rubbed his eyes.

  “I’ll do it.” She sat across from him and tapped the screen.

  While she lined up another night at the house, he pulled up the list of flights he’d found earlier. When she was done and had confirmed they had somewhere to stay, he said, “So, DC or LA?”

  “DC.” She reached across the table and took his hand. “You need to visit your friend.”

  “I do, but—“

  “No buts. DC,” she said. “Assuming TSA will let me fly without ID.” Unfortunately, the bag that she’d been forced to leave behind when escaping the compound had never been located, so she didn’t have her own phone, wallet, or anything.

  “Let’s find out.”

  Thirty minutes later, he had their tickets for flights from Bozeman to Dulles at seven o’clock, and the scoop on TSA. “Getting through security is going to be a hassle, but you can do it. We’ll give ourselves extra time.”

  He texted their flight info to Wendy, his mom, and Kurt, assuring the latter that he didn’t need a ride. Todd preferred to get a rideshare over having his friend fight weekday traffic.

  Lindsey let her parents know she’d be going to DC before coming home.

  “How’d they take it?” he asked.

  “They’re disappointed, but also relieved, since Megan’s in California.”

  “Assuming she staged that threat herself. She’s already used a surrogate once.”

  “True.” Lindsey sighed, her entire body drooping. “Actually, we need to talk about Megan.”

  “What about her?” His scalp prickled in warning.

  She rolled her lips inward. “You’re not going to like it.”

  “Okay.” He tried to keep his voice even, but he wasn’t going to like any plan involving
that woman. “Shoot.”

  “I want to lure her out.”

  Of course she did. Fuck. “Linds—”

  “Nope.” She lifted her free hand, palm up. “I don’t want to be looking over my shoulder for God-knows-how long, knowing the moment I let down my guard, she’s likely to strike. I can’t live like that. And neither should you.”

  His entire being recoiled from the idea. “You want to willingly make yourself an easy target.”

  She frowned. “Not too easy.”

  “A trap.” The words left a bad taste in his mouth. The last thing he wanted was to bring Megan’s wrath down on Lindsey’s head willingly. Or his own head for that matter. But he understood her need to get it over with. Hyper-vigilance was exhausting.

  Resigned, he asked, “What’d you have in mind?”

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  BY SIX-THIRTY that evening, Todd and Lindsey were sitting on the couch at Marti’s rental house with a Bureau car out front for protection, and empty takeout containers on the coffee table.

  He wanted to close the distance between them and take her into his arms, but she’d curled up in the opposite corner with her hands locked around her knees.

  They hadn’t yet come up with a plan to trap Megan. Some sleep would help. As would talking it through with some of his teammates.

  “You mentioned wearing glasses when you’re tired,” Lindsey said. “Are you a reader?”

  He glanced up, startled by the question, nerves jumping. Was there a wrong answer? One that would shut down any chance he had at winning her back?

  Yeah, shit-for-brains, any answer that isn’t true.

  Right. He took a deep breath and tried to relax. “I mostly like fantasy. You know, those thousand-page door-stoppers that take months to get through. At least for me.”

  “I would’ve pegged you for a thriller man.”

  He shook his head. “Some of those fall a little too close to home. Plus, I cringe at all of the inaccuracies.”

  “That makes sense. I read a book recently that was set in my town, and the author got so many little things wrong that it kept pulling me out of the story.”

  “I guess that’s one of the benefits of fantasy,” he said. “They only get it wrong if they don’t stick to their own rules.”

  “True.” She swirled her finger through the condensation on the outside of her soda can before hastily wiping her hand on her jeans. After another sip, she met his gaze. “Why’d you leave the Air Force?”

  He got it now. What she was doing. Not testing him, per se, but giving him a chance to share himself with her, to help her know him outside of what they’d been through. Her own private “Ask Me Anything” session. If an AMA was what she wanted, he was more than game. Whatever it took.

  “Most of my good friends were already out, so when Kurt gave me a standing offer for a position, I jumped on it as soon as I separated. It didn’t hurt that Jason had been out for a year already and was considering joining Steele too.”

  “You’re really close to these guys.”

  He smiled. “I am. We went through hell together, either in training or in Afghanistan. In my experience, bonds forged under extreme circumstances are stronger than most.” He hoped she got the hint. “It’s why boot camp is so tough. Among other things, they’re trying to create an instant sense of team among the recruits.”

  The way she chewed on her lower lip made him want to lunge across the sofa and kiss her senseless. “Volleyball was like that too. The shared pain brings you closer.”

  “Exactly.” He loved that she got it. “Do you still play?”

  Her shoulders lifted. “I play beach games a couple times a week. A few of my teammates from high school started the group, and some of them played college ball, so I’m pretty mediocre in comparison.”

  “I’d love to see a game sometime.”

  “A bunch of girls jumping around in little bikinis?” She wrinkled her nose. “Of course you would.”

  When she put it like that… But that hadn’t been on his mind. “No. I mean, I’m a guy, so probably, but I’d really like to see you play. And not just because of the bikini.” He rubbed his palms over his thighs, his mind stuttering on the image of her in a tiny swimsuit. “I’ll bet volleyball is where you got your ability to stay so cool under pressure.”

  She barked out a laugh. “That’s ridiculous. I’ve been a nervous wreck since you met me.”

  He shook his head. “That’s what makes it so impressive. You might have been freaking out on the inside, but you stayed calm and strong, and handled whatever came at you like a champ. Doubly incredible because you don’t routinely face high-intensity, dangerous situations and you don’t have combat experience.”

  Her cheeks turned pink and she toyed with the tab on her drink. “Well…” She cleared her throat, her expression full of skepticism. “Thanks.”

  “I mean it.” He leaned forward, resting his palm on the seat cushion. “You were amazing. I think pretty much everything about you is amazing.”

  She laughed nervously. “Laying it on a little thick, aren’t you?” Her voice betrayed a deep insecurity, and a longing to believe him that made his heart ache.

  Had he done that to her?

  No. Not just him. After all, he didn’t know the whole story, but there was the bastard who’d cheated on her. With Megan, no less. No wonder she was gun-shy.

  “Honestly, not thick enough,” he said.

  She just shook her head and broke eye contact. After another swig of her drink, she said, “Fine. You want to prove to me that you tell it like it is?”

  He nodded. If that’s what it took. “Absolutely.”

  “Okay.” Setting down her drink, she met his gaze. “Name two things about me that you don’t like.”

  Lindsey wanted desperately to just give in, to let Todd through her gates, but all the pretty words in the world weren’t enough to overcome her fear. Time, an accumulation of actions and interactions, was the only thing that could make her believe they’d work as a couple.

  The risk of giving him that time was that she’d fall more in love, and he would hurt her all over again. But the opportunity cost was huge. If she pushed him away, and he truly loved her, she’d be giving up something incredible.

  The early days of a relationship made it hard to see the other person’s flaws, and she worried that he was putting her on some kind of pedestal. And when she fell—as she inevitably would—Todd would walk.

  So she wanted him to face the reality of her now.

  He leaned back in his chair and raised his brows. “This feels like a trap.”

  “Probably.” She took a hit of soda, letting the sweet bubbles burn down her throat, distracting her for one blissful moment from his intense gaze and the house’s odd scent of new paint and hot dust.

  Across the table, Todd started to lift his arms behind his head, but flinched and quickly dropped them. Someone had treated his wound earlier and given him pain meds, but it wasn’t like a paper cut that would heal in a few days. Her own arm ached in sympathy.

  “Damn, Lindsey.” He sighed and rested his forearms on his thighs, tapping those long fingers that had helped bring her to bliss last night. “Okay. One, I don’t like that you don’t trust me. And two, I don’t like that you live on the West Coast, because it gives you another excuse for pushing me away.”

  If she were honest, she wasn’t particularly happy about those things either. “Those are cheat answers. They’re not really about me. Especially considering that where I live is one of the reasons you pushed me away in the first place.”

  He tilted his head and thinned his lips. “The first one isn’t a cheat. It’s about your confidence in both of us. You don’t trust yourself to make the right choice, and you don’t trust me to know my own mind.” His gaze dropped to his knee, which he absently rubbed with his thumb. “From what little I know of your history, I get it, but I hate that anyone ever made you doubt your worth. Especially me. My part in it goes bac
k to my own insecurities, the things I need to work on.” He looked her in the eyes, softening his voice. “I know I’m not the first man to hurt you, sweetheart, but I for damn sure hope I’m the last.”

  Her insides turned to mush, and tears threatened, but she closed her eyes tight and scrunched her nose to hold them back.

  What she didn’t like about him was that he said the most incredible things. He tempted her to say “fuck it” and run into his arms. Instead, she cleared her throat and met his gaze. “Fine. I’ll give you the first one.”

  “Yesss.” He made a little fist pump.

  She couldn’t help but smile.

  His sexy grin flashed and then fell away. He stared at her and turned sideways, resting his bent leg on the cushion, closing the distance between them without touching. “Number two.” He stretched out the words, as if buying time. “All right, you know what I dislike about you?”

  She shook her head, itching to flee the room. Why had she asked him to enumerate her faults again?

  “The little mole at the top of your right thigh.”

  Her chin jerked back. The… What? “Why?”

  “Because it’s driving me to distraction. Last time I saw it I was on my knees in the shower, about to go down on you, and the memory has been taunting me ever since.” Color washed his cheeks. “I can’t stop thinking about your incredible body, your smooth skin, the look on your face…”

  Just like that, she went up in flames. Oh. My. God. She squeezed her thighs together, barely able to breathe as she remembered him worshipping her flesh like a starving man, the sight of his head between her legs as he gave her the most intense pleasure of her life.

  She managed not to whimper, but it was a close thing.

  “I can’t stand the idea that I might never get to touch you like that again. It’s one of the few ways I can show you how I feel about you.” He rubbed his face and groaned, lowering his hands to look her in the eye. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make it about sex. Wanting to make love to you again doesn’t prove anything.”