Ghost of Himself

by Pandora Pine

  Jude felt tears start in the back of his eyes. He hadn’t heard those words in so long now. His grandfather was right. He had forgotten. Nearly everything. “The Enemy Way Ceremony.”

  “Yes. Do you remember how to build a hogan?” There was laughter in his voice.

  Jesus Christ, did he remember how to build the ceremonial hut? The forked-stick arbor where the recipient of the healing ceremony would sit was something he hadn’t built in well over a decade now.

  “Perhaps a domed tent would serve the purpose, grandson?” There was that laugh again.

  “Do you think the spirits of our elders would mind?” Jude hadn’t thought about his elders in nearly as long as it had been since he’d last built a hogan.

  “All can be forgiven with the right words. You do not need me to tell you this. A few words to your totem would not go amiss either. Do you disagree?”

  Jude felt his head sink even lower. His totem. Spirit animal. He’d left it behind in the desert. He’d left so much behind in a cloud of dust. Wanting so badly to fit into the white world, he’d left half of himself behind. His freedom had cost him half of his soul.

  “It is never too late to reclaim what was lost. Think upon that.” It was as if he was reading Jude’s mind.

  “Can my friend be healed?” Jude knew he shouldn’t be asking this of his grandfather. His ability to see into the future only stretched so far.

  “Anything is possible. Did our elders not teach you that?”

  Yes, the elders had taught him that. He wasn’t looking for Navajo peace words at the moment. He needed prophecy. “Please, grandfather. Can I save Copeland?”

  “My faith in your abilities has never waned. Join with your friends. Combine your efforts. Be true to yourself. Open your heart. These are the only words I have to offer you.”

  To be honest, those were more words than Jude had assumed he would get out of his usually reticent grandfather. Add twelve years of silence into the mix and he hadn’t even expected his call to be answered.

  “You will always be my little phoenix. Neither time nor distance will ever change that.”

  Fighting back tears again, Jude took a deep breath. It had been his grandfather who saved him from a life of foster homes and God knew what other horrors. He could never repay that debt. “I love you, grandfather.”

  “And I you. Now go and make your preparations. The other elders and I will be with you in spirit. And Jude?”

  He grinned at finally hearing his “white” name. “Yes, Running Eagle?” He never tired of using his grandfather’s old Native American title. They trotted that name out for the tourists. It tickled Jude, but usually got a growl out of his grandfather.

  “You have finally healed your heart. I did not believe it possible, but reaching out for help to heal a witch proves that you are ready to open yourself up to love in all forms.”

  Jude snorted. “Let’s just keep that between the two of us, okay? I’ve got some friends here who would pay handsomely for that information and would make my life miserable once they had it.”

  “May the sun never set upon you, grandson.”

  “May the rain never wet your face,” Jude returned. The phone beeped three times and his grandfather was gone.

  Taking a moment to pull himself back together from that emotional phone call, Jude stood up from the bed and walked around the room. He hadn’t expected the easy forgiveness in the old man’s voice, but it had been there.

  It had been years since someone had called him “little phoenix” or he’d been reminded of his totem. He’d pushed everything to do with his life in New Mexico into the closet so that he could live a free life in the white world. What had that truly cost him? Would it be Copeland who paid the price now?

  21

  Copeland

  “A hogan, what the hell is that? The wrestler?” Ronan O’Mara asked as he helped Jude spread the pop tent out in his own backyard.

  Cope wasn’t an expert in the friendship between Jude and Ronan by any stretch of the imagination, but even he knew Ronan was in danger of getting throat-punched.

  “No, asshole, it’s a Navajo hut used for ceremonies. We don’t have the right kind of trees out here needed to make it, so my grandfather said it would be okay to use a tent.” Jude’s voice sounded strained, like Ronan was riding his last nerve.

  Copeland had been able to hear Jude on the phone with his grandfather. He hadn’t been expecting him to race right back into his bedroom to give him the skinny on their conversation, but on the other hand, he hadn’t expected Jude to stay away for over an hour either. He’d given a bare bones rundown of the conversation over breakfast. And by bare bones, Cope meant that Jude said he needed to buy a tent so that he could perform an old Navajo healing ceremony.

  Now, here he was, three hours later, in Ronan and Tennyson’s backyard. Jude had access to a common backyard area at his condo, but it was all wide open and all of the units had access to it. If they were outside performing some Native American ritual, someone was bound to see it and throw it up on Facebook Live or send it in to the local news. That was the last thing Cope needed right now. Ronan and Tennyson’s backyard was fenced in and completely private.

  What he had to deal with instead of public scrutiny was a goddamned party. Everyone was here. Even people he hadn’t met before. Some guy who’d introduced himself as Emergency Room Doctor Walker Harmon had given him a neurological exam and concluded that there was nothing wrong with him. His husband, Hunter Conroy, a former demon hunter and gargoyle had stood by smiling at Cope and telling his husband that magick was a funny thing like that. Oh yeah, it was fucking hilarious.

  When Truman stopped by to sit with him, he’d had all three of his little ones in tow, triplets, who all looked like him or Carson in one way or another. One of the babies bore a striking resemblance to Bertha Craig. All them were fascinated with Cope and his “boo boo.” They climbed him like Everest, petting his shoulders and cooing “Boo boo, Cope,” as they slapped him. It was the only time he’d laughed since he’d woken up this morning.

  The absolutely lovely Cassie Craig, Cole’s wife, told him that part of The Enemy Way Ceremony was for members of the injured person’s family to bring food to the gathering. That’s what Cassie and the others had done. Apparently, the call had gone out and everyone had shown up with food of some sort.

  Cope held back a laugh when Ronan tried to thread one of the tent poles and ended up whacking Jude with it instead.

  “Ouch!” Jude roared, picking up his own tent pole and wielding it like a sword. He started to advance toward Ronan.

  “For the love of God, you two! Weren’t either one of you in the scouts?” a very loud and tall man shouted out.

  “Do you know how to do this, Kevin?” Tennyson shouted out. “If you do, I’d really appreciate you rescuing my husband before he and Jude end up in the emergency room. I don’t want him looking like a pirate with an eye patch in the delivery room when our baby is born.”

  “That’s Captain Kevin Fitzgibbon,” Dempsey said, taking the empty chair next to Copeland. “He’s Ronan’s boss in Cold Case. He was the one who allowed a psychic to join the Boston Police Department as a consultant.

  “That’s pretty damn progressive. I can’t imagine anything like that flying in New Orleans.” Cope shook his head. NOLA was the hoodoo capital of the U.S., but that didn’t mean the cops were knocking on his door looking for spells to help them solve cases. He would have been all for helping them if they had, though.

  Cope watched as the captain got the tent built and staked into the ground in no time. He was mesmerized by the easy relationship the man had with Jude. All of the anxiety he’d seen building up in the P.I. all day appeared to melt away in a matter of minutes. He got himself ready as Jude brought the man over to meet him.

  “This is Kevin Fitzgibbon,” Jude introduced. “He’s Ronan’s boss and has been a good friend to me as well.”

  Kevin reached out to shake with Cope.

>   “By good friend, he means I’ve kept him and Ronan from killing each other on several occasions. It’s good to meet you, Cope. I’m sorry about your current situation. Ronan filled me in with all the gory details. I just want you to know that Salem isn’t my jurisdiction. If you know what I mean.” Fitzgibbon winked at him.

  Cope knew what he meant. Loud and clear. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Kevin.” He could sure as hell do with more friends like the captain who weren’t above bending the law for a good cause.

  “I’m going to go help Jude prepare for the ceremony. Is there anything I can get you before I go?” Dempsey stood up.

  “No, but thanks for asking.” This whole situation was getting intolerable. Needing someone to carry his ass from place to place and needing to ask people to take him to the bathroom. He hoped this thing Jude was trying to do would work.

  “I’ve never seen Jude like this before,” Ten said, taking the seat Dempsey had just vacated.

  “What, determined?” Jude certainly looked the part.

  Ten shook his head. “No, nervous. He’s always had this cocky manner about him, like he’s Superman on steroids or something, but he seems almost unsure of himself today.”

  “He’s having a crisis of confidence.” Cope’s voice was pitched low. “You should have seen the look on his face when I told him I couldn’t move my legs. He jumped right into action to help me, but there was guilt and fear written all over his face. Then when his own healing powers couldn’t fix this, it was a quick downward spiral.”

  “I can see that. His hands were shaking when he was trying to get the tent box open. This whole week has been filled with new experiences for him.” Ten turned away from the tent to look at Cope.

  “It wasn’t my intention to come here and turn his life upside down. I was just looking for a little relief from the pain and confusion these psychic attacks were causing me. With the threat of Deacon Boudreaux always hanging over my head like a guillotine blade, I got in the habit of never planning past today. That carried over to me coming up here. I never gave any consideration to how my presence would affect Jude beyond the day I showed up at your door.” He didn’t know what he’d been expecting to happen, really. Cope hadn’t even booked a hotel room or a return flight to Louisiana.

  “I know that, Cope,” Ten assured him. “We’ve all been hoping Jude would take a more mature role in his own life and that’s exactly what he’s done from the moment you got here. He took on the role of your protector and champion from the second he saw you passed out in my arms on our doorstep. Then, when he told us you were going to move in with him, I had to hold myself back from checking him for a fever.” Ten laughed.

  “He’s been so good to me.” Cope sighed. “Then when I woke up like this…” He closed his mouth with a snap. His emotions were stirring and the last thing he wanted was to start crying.

  “Jude wasn’t able to heal you.” It wasn’t a question.

  Cope shook his head. “This is more terrifying than the morning I found Deacon in my store. At least then I had some chance to defend myself. Now, I’m helpless.” That was the thing that was affecting Cope more than anything else. He couldn’t do anything for himself right now with the exception of scratching an itch and wiping his own ass. Thank Christ. It was bad enough with Jude having to set him on the toilet.

  “It’s going to work out, Copeland. I know it will.” Ten set a hand on his shoulder before getting up and going over to help Ronan wrangle the inflatable air mattress inside the tent.

  Copeland couldn’t help but wonder if Tennyson was saying those words as a psychic or an eternal optimist.

  22

  Jude

  Jude’s heart was fluttering like a hummingbird’s wings. He had never been this nervous in his entire life.

  Part of the reason he’d been having such a hard time putting the tent together with Ronan was that his mind was on the ceremony to come rather than on the project at hand. It had been thirteen years since he’d seen an Enemy Way Ceremony performed. He’d been casting his mind back to make sure he’d remember exactly how to do it when the time came.

  The ceremony itself had its origins as a way to treat the injured members of the Navajo tribe returning from battle. As time passed, it adapted to treat patients suffering from all types of ailments. Jude knew this was his last chance to help Copeland until they found whoever was doing this to him and even then, that didn’t guarantee that person would stop the attacks.

  At least Jude’s most pressing worries were behind him. He remembered the ritual and all of his friends had agreed to help. Bringing food was one big part of the day. Before he began the healing portion of the Enemy Way, they would all gather around the makeshift hogan and choose a healer.

  He’d asked Dempsey, Walker, Hunter, and Greeley to work on the next most important part of the ritual: the ceremonial staff. It is usually a cedar branch decorated with eagle feathers and colorful yarn. Jude didn’t think it would be possible to find eagle feathers on such short notice, but it would be interesting to see what his four friends came up with. The most important part of the staff is that it’s created with love and good intentions toward the sick person.

  Part of the Navajo ceremony is that the staff is presented to the person chosen to be the healer. It was part of the pageantry for one healer to be chosen from all of the possible choices. It had fallen to him twice during his time on the reservation. There shouldn’t be any doubt tonight as to who it would be presented to. At least there had better not be. Jude snorted.

  “That can’t be good if you’re laughing at yourself,” Ronan said from behind him.

  Jude turned to see the detective grinning at him. “If you tell anyone I said this, I’ll-”

  Ronan held up a hand to stop Jude in his tracks. “We’ve been friends long enough for you to get that I’m not going to say a word. Most likely, I already know or have a suspicion of what you’re going to say anyway. So, drop the idle threats and just tell me.”

  That was a valid point. Whenever he had something private to share, he always prefaced it by telling Ronan he’d hide his body so well no one would ever find it if the cop blabbed what Jude was about to tell him. Ronan never blabbed. Jude had a feeling it wasn’t to save himself a gruesome death. It was because that’s what a brother did.

  Jude cleared his throat. “I’m scared shitless here. I haven’t performed this ceremony in over a decade. Worse, I don’t know if it will work. I haven’t had the guts to ask Onyx or Dempsey if they were able to track the attacker’s signature based on what they did to Cope. So, even if this lark does manage to bring him back the use of his legs, he could wake up again in a day or two and be right back in the same boat.” Jude looked around to make sure no one else could hear them. “Or worse.”

  “All I want you to worry about right now is this ceremony. You put all of your focus on what you need to do to get ready to heal Copeland. Let me worry about who’s doing this to him. We’ll get together later and compare notes, okay?”

  Nodding, Jude looked up at Ronan. “Thank you for letting us camp out in your backyard.”

  “You bet. Just leave the tent up when you’re finished with the ceremony tomorrow. I want to give it a try with Ten. We’ve never slept out under the stars before. It might be fun. Roast some marshmallows at the firepit and then camp out.”

  Jude laughed. He needed something like this to break the tension. “Somehow I don’t think sleeping on two thousand thread-count sheets counts as camping out.”

  “It’s probably the only way I’d ever get Ten to do something like this with me.” Ronan slapped a hand on Jude’s shoulder. “I’ve gotta get my little speech ready. I’ll see you in a bit.”

  Jude walked toward the back of the fenced-in yard. He took some deep calming breaths, trying to find his center. So much was riding on this ceremony. Copeland was counting on him, and his friends would be there to see him rise to the occasion or fail spectacularly. There was no room for error.
/>   “Everyone, may I have your attention?” Ronan called out.

  Jude’s prep time had just run out.

  “If I could get Dempsey and Walker to bring out guest of honor to the hogan, please.”

  Jude turned around to watch as the two big men helped Cope out of his seat and into a standing position. With his arms wrapped around their shoulders, Walker and Dempsey moved him to the tent where they seated him on the mattress inside. He knew that couldn’t have been easy on Copeland in front of everyone.

  “If you would all please gather around the hogan?” Ronan motioned everyone forward.

  Jude took his place in the crowd. This was the most important part of the ceremony.

  “The ceremonial staff was created by Walker, Hunter, Dempsey, and Greeley. Would you all bring it forward please?” Ronan watched the four men approach him. Greeley, Captain Fitzgibbon’s son, was carrying the decorated branch reverently.

  “It is your job to present the staff to the member of our tribe who you believe is best qualified to heal Copeland.” Pride echoed in Ronan’s voice. It sounded as if he had no doubt as to who the staff should be presented to.

  Jude held his breath. This was it.

  Greeley walked around the group of their seated friends. Everyone’s eyes were on the staff which was decorated with brightly-colored yarn and feathers which looked like they came off a boa. Probably the one Tennyson had worn to Ronan’s birthday bash back in the spring. It would have been impossible to find eagle feathers on such short notice, so their friends had improvised.

  Each of Carson and Truman’s toddlers reached out for the staff, but surprisingly, did not fuss when it passed them by. Greeley doubled back around the group to stand in front of Jude. “Our tribe has spoken.” He offered the staff to Jude.

  A round of applause went up through the crowd when Jude accepted the staff. “Thank you.” He nodded to his friends. “Usually the ceremony is performed with the medicine man singing the sacred songs. I’ll need all of you to do that, while I lay hands on Copeland.”