Falling for My Bully: A Lesbian Romance

by Alexa Woods

  Not that June thought Arabella was selfish or only wanted to look out for

  herself. She’d thought the opposite. That desperation and love for her

  family had driven her to do something very stupid and sad. Why hadn’t

  Arabella just told her the truth? Didn’t she trust her?

  June kept her eyes locked on Beth. She was the picture of misery. Her

  flushed face had become very pale, and her eyes were wet with tears which

  she furiously didn’t allow to spill. Her jaw and hands were both clenched

  tight.

  “I know it doesn’t excuse anything,” Beth said very, very quietly, the

  strain of keeping her shattered emotions from flying all over the room

  showing. “But I did it for Amelia. The reason Shannon went to that meeting

  with her teacher was because Amelia said that someone called her a retard.”

  June ground her teeth hard. She hated that word. No one should use that

  word. Arabella gasped. She put her hand over her mouth and watched Beth,

  pain and empathy evident on her face. It absolutely astounded June how

  much Arabella felt for Beth and for Amelia, who she’d never met.

  “Kids can be so mean,” Arabella said, heartbroken.

  She looked right at June. June tried to understand what Arabella was

  feeling. What she’d been thinking. Had she wanted to save Amelia from the

  same thing she herself had done when she found out she was being bullied,

  or did she want to save Amelia from becoming herself?

  “The thing is, Shannon finally got Amelia to admit it wasn’t a kid. It was

  a teacher.”

  “Why?” Arabella croaked. She clearly hadn’t known.

  Beth shook her head. “I don’t know. I guess they were frustrated with

  Amelia. Shannon thinks that Amelia might be on the spectrum. I’m

  ashamed to say that I don’t know much about Asperger’s or Autism.

  Shannon just told me after that meeting and Amelia hasn’t been in for any

  tests, but the meeting was actually between both kindergarten teachers and

  the school’s principal and it was suggested by the principal that Amelia

  might need testing. Shannon was still disgusted with the teachers. No adult

  should ever call a little girl a retard, or say they’re slow, or tell them they

  can’t be who they want to be or make them feel like they’re not equal to the

  other kids there.” Beth teared up and she sniffed, but she powered through.

  “Shannon found this school that would be great for Amelia. The thing is,

  it’s private. When she goes back to work, they would be able to afford it if

  they pinched and scrimped in other areas, but they couldn’t afford it right

  now. I had Arabella’s designs from that day she left the meeting. They were

  there on the table. I thought I could beat the other company to the punch, or

  that we could come up with something different enough that we’d be fine

  moving forward. They were such early drawings, but that’s still terrible. I

  know it. I can’t tell you how sorry I am. Really.”

  June’s racing thoughts pinged off the inside of her skull.

  “I can see that you packed your office,” Beth said softly, addressing

  Arabella. “I’ll go do the same with mine. I’m sorry I even considered letting

  you lose you job for me.”

  “No one is losing their jobs.”

  Beth and Arabella’s heads whipped around in unison.

  “This is a mess and we’re going to figure it out, but no one is getting

  fired. I really wish you would have come to me. Both of you.”

  Beth’s mouth dropped open. “It’s not her fault. Don’t make Arabella pay

  for what I did.”

  “I wish you would have trusted me enough to talk to me,” June said. She

  knew she sounded hurt and maybe it wasn’t entirely fair, but she was and

  that was how it was going to be until she could sort out her thoughts in

  privacy for a few hours. Maybe even a few days.

  “But she’s—no!” Beth declared. “She tried to do something amazingly

  nice for me. If I lost this job, we wouldn’t be able to send Amelia to that

  school. Arabella didn’t even know the half of it, but she was willing to help

  me. That’s very…it’s so noble. I-I can’t thank you. That’s not even the right

  word. Either of you. But please, June, don’t be annoyed or mad at her. None

  of this was her fault.”

  Maybe June should follow her own advice and employ some of her own

  truth. She’d been hiding for long enough, and Beth wouldn’t understand.

  She knew what she was going to say wouldn’t leave Arabella’s office

  anyway.

  “She’s my girlfriend,” June whispered. “We’re dating. That’s why I’m

  just…why I’m off.”

  “What?” Beth, to her credit, was able to actually hide most of her

  surprise.

  Arabella said nothing. June realized she shouldn’t have said it like that,

  just put it out there without even asking her if that was okay. Arabella didn’t

  want it to be a secret. June knew she was waiting for her to make the first

  move, especially at work, but she should have done it with far more tact,

  less sharpness, and more consideration.

  “Oh. I see.”

  “Beth, if you need money for something like that, I want you to know

  that you could come to me. We could work something out. An advance or

  something like that. This isn’t the first time the idea has come up, either.

  I’m actually considering making similar offers for some of the other

  employees here.”

  “You are?” Arabella asked softly.

  June knew Arabella must be thinking about her dad and his mounting

  medical bills. She saw a brief flash of her pain cross her face before

  Arabella neatly tucked it away beneath the surface again.

  “Thank you.” Beth headed for the door. “I’m going to be in my office. I

  need a few hours to think about all of this. How to go forward from here,

  but if you need me…”

  “No, that’s fine. I could use a few hours myself,” June told her.

  Beth left much differently than she’d come in. Her color was normal, she

  walked at a rate that wouldn’t put her at danger of breaking an ankle or her

  neck as she snapped a heel off. She looked dazed, but there was no doubting

  her relief.

  “I guess we should probably talk later,” Arabella ventured softly. She

  hadn’t moved at all. Her lovely blue eyes flicked up off the floor and landed

  on June’s face with enough intensity to nearly rock June back.

  “That’s probably a good idea.”

  “Are we…are we breaking up? Are you that mad at me?”

  “No.” June hadn’t even considered that. Well, not once she’d calmed

  down. Even before she got to the office, she hadn’t been thinking about

  how to dump Arabella. She wanted to try to understand, hear her out, and

  then make a decision. She didn’t want to be that person who couldn’t get

  over themselves and made someone choose between their family and her. In

  a very roundabout way, that would have been what she was doing.

  “Okay. We’ll talk after work, then?”

  “Yes.”

  “Not date night, though. You could come over if you wanted.”

  June wanted to be on neutral territory when they talked but having a
ny

  kind of personal conversation in public just didn’t feel right. She nodded.

  “Did you tell Summer?”

  “No, I didn’t.”

  “Did you want to?”

  “Kind of.”

  Arabella sunk down in her chair and let out a massive sigh. She swiped a

  few tendrils of hair off her forehead and June realized it was damp. Very

  damp. Those strands were wet. “I’m glad you decided to hold back until

  you heard me out.”

  “How do you know I wasn’t just too busy, or she didn’t answer her

  phone?”

  That earned her a shaky smile. “Because I know you. So, thank you. I’ll

  see you tonight. Whatever time works.” Arabella twisted in her chair to face

  the boxes she was going to have to unpack, then abruptly twisted back. “I

  spent a lot of years being really shitty and basically cowardly. I want to be

  better, but I’m not even halfway there.”

  “I think you’re more there than you think.” June pointed to the boxes.

  “You better unpack your plants. It’s nice that you’re a plant person. Most

  people don’t have them in their offices. I’d really miss seeing them when I

  came in here.”

  She left when Arabella nodded. She knew what June was trying to say.

  That really, she would have missed Arabella a heck of a lot more.

  Chapter 22

  Arabella

  It was hard for Arabella to go home, prepare a meal and uncork a bottle of

  wine like she normally did. She knew it wasn’t a regular dinner, and even

  though June had said she didn’t want to break up, Arabella didn’t feel right

  about putting so much as a jar candle on the table. She didn’t go overboard

  making anything fancy either. Just a salad, half a ham she stuck in the oven

  to warm up, and mashed potatoes.

  June said she’d be there at seven, and like all the other times she said

  she’d be anywhere, she was right on time. Arabella wondered if June had

  ever been late for anything in her life. It was just one of the many things

  Arabella appreciated about her. One of the many.

  It was awkward at the door. She didn’t know what to say, so she said

  nothing. June gave her a tight smile and since dinner was ready, the mouth-

  watering smell of the salty ham overflowing from the kitchen, she followed

  Arabella in.

  They sat down across from each other at the large round table. Arabella

  had everything set already. The ham was out, sizzling in the square

  casserole dish. She’d whipped the potatoes with a hand beater, an old trick

  of her mom’s that guaranteed fluffy, creamy mash every single time. The

  lettuce in the salad was borderline bad with brown, wilting edges, but

  Arabella had picked out the worst of it and used the rest.

  Honestly, she barely paid attention as she filled her plate. She was much

  too fixated on June. She waited. She didn’t want to say the wrong thing or

  pick up the conversation where they’d left off in the office. She’d hoped

  June had thought past that already. She knew she had, but she didn’t want to

  just blurt out something if June was on a completely different wavelength.

  It was hard being silent and even harder to be patient. Arabella cut the

  slice of ham on her plate and waited. She dipped a piece in mustard and

  nibbled at it, hardly tasting anything except the sharp tang of the spicy

  grainy seeds and the salt from the meat.

  When June set down her fork gently, Arabella nearly leaped out of her

  chair.

  Tears pricked at the back of Arabella’s eyes, but she kept her eyes wide

  open and didn’t blink, hoping the dryness of her eyes would clear them

  away all on their own. The pain from earlier was back, radiating from her

  chest up into her throat and down into her stomach. She felt heavy, and the

  last thing she wanted to do was eat anything, so she set her fork down too.

  Their eyes locked, and June tilted her head a little, studying Arabella. “I

  don’t know if you know this, but there isn’t some force out there in the

  universe that wants to punish you. I think you believe you have all this stuff

  to atone for and the things happening now are a direct result of things

  you’ve done in the past.”

  “Some people might argue that’s the case,” Arabella choked out. She

  didn’t expect June to lead with something so very perceptive, but why not?

  This was June, and her emotional intelligence, let alone her regular

  intelligence, was off the charts.

  “I don’t think it is. I know a lot of things are interconnected, and actions

  have ripples and consequences, but as for some universal, karmic, cosmic

  punishment? I’m not down with that. I’m not a big believer in you having to

  beat yourself up about things that happened a long time ago.”

  “That’s not why I was going to not tell you about Beth.”

  “Then why?”

  “I… Because I didn’t want Beth to lose her job. Amelia should have the

  opportunity to go to a good school. A school that’s just right for her.”

  “You were worried she was getting bullied?”

  “Honestly, I’m not sure what I thought. I was worried, yes, that she

  would hate her entire school experience. That she wouldn’t fit in, and she’d

  always know that. That she’d get picked on and that she’d be unhappy. Or

  that she’d be so unhappy the only way to bring herself any pleasure would

  be to turn the tables and pick on other kids. I don’t know. That doesn’t even

  make sense. I just kept seeing Shannon’s face. She looked so tired. That

  kind of tired that people get when their loved ones aren’t doing well. I know

  exactly what that kind of tired feels like. It goes straight down into your

  bones, and it becomes you. I only spent an hour or so with Sky, but she’s

  the sweetest. I imagine her sister isn’t much different. I didn’t know about

  the stuff with the teacher. I just, I guess I wanted to spare someone else

  because I couldn’t go back and undo the things I did and spare those kids. I

  wanted Amelia to have a good school experience, so she didn’t have to go

  somewhere every single day hating and dreading it.”

  “Is that what it was like for you? You hated it? Dreaded it?”

  Arabella bit her lip and finally nodded. “I guess I did. Being fake all the

  time is a pretty hard thing to maintain.”

  “I think some people don’t have a very hard time of it. I think some

  people actually like it.”

  “That was never me.”

  June reached for the bowl of salad and put a few more slices of tomato

  and cucumber onto her plate. “Do you think you need to punish yourself?”

  How was Arabella supposed to answer that? She wasn’t even sure how to

  honestly answer it for herself. “I don’t know. It wasn’t really about that.”

  “So, you were just going to give up your job, your health and dental

  benefits, and your salary to take the fall for someone else because you knew

  they needed their job every bit as much as you did?”

  From anyone else that would sound totally condescending, but not from

  June. She asked with a genuine curiosity that invited deeper introspection

  and meaningful conversation. She wasn’t sneering
or pointing fingers or

  laughing about how silly that sounded. She wasn’t sitting there saying she

  didn’t believe Arabella had it in her to do something good like that just

  because she cared. Anyone else probably would, but not June. Even if they

  weren’t dating. Even if they didn’t work together. Even if they weren’t

  some level of friends, June would still believe her if she thought she was

  being sincere.

  “Yes. I kept thinking about the kids. How can the world be a better place

  if the next generation has to keep doing what we did, and our parents did,

  and our grandparents did? How can anyone be better? The world seriously

  needs a lot of better right now. Like your company. It does a lot of good. If

  Beth had just stolen my designs and sold them because she wanted some

  fast cash and put the blame on me because she was an asshole, you better

  believe I would have stood up for myself.”

  “So it wasn’t that you were scared to talk to me? That you didn’t trust me

  to work things out with you and be fair to Beth?”

  Arabella held her breath until her lungs ached, then she slowly released

  it. June’s eyes were so pretty and dark that she just basked in them, losing

  herself in their softness for as long as she could.

  “If there’s anyone I trust, it would be you,” she said softly.

  “Beth stuck you in a hard spot. I’m not mad. It isn’t fair for me to tell you

  that you did something wrong.”

  “You’re not mad at me anymore?”

  June’s face was soft and a little sad. “No. I was disappointed in your

  office, but I needed time to think. I shouldn’t have been. That wasn’t right. I

  know how new we are and that means that we don’t have that deeper level

  of intrinsic trust, but I hope we can get there.”

  Arabella found she was fighting back tears again. She reached across the

  table, past her plate, past June’s plate, and grasped her hand. June’s fingers

  clasped back. It felt so astoundingly freeing to be able to do this. To still be

  able to reach for June’s hand and have her squeeze back. To have her here.

  To have that piece of her soul and offer hers in response. Arabella had

  thought that, along with losing her job, she was going to lose June.

  That had stung far worse than any of her worries about how she was

  going to come up with money for the thousand things she needed it for, how