Born in Blood Collection Volume 1: Collection of books 1-4

by Cora Reilly

  I wasn’t going to last forever. I’d never really thought I could win this bet, never actually wanted to win. All I wanted in this moment was to come in Gianna’s hot mouth. I raked my hands through her gorgeous locks. The muscles in my thighs tightened but I fought the sensation off. It was too fucking amazing to be over so soon, and knowing Gianna I might have to wait a while before she gave me another blowjob. She looked like a sex goddess. Fuck. I’d wanted to see her like that for a long time, had fucking daydreamed about it. I jerked my hips, and felt my balls tightening. Gianna sucked even harder. Not that I needed any more convincing. All I wanted was to spill into her. And then I fucking exploded. Gianna didn’t pull back. Fuck, she kept sucking even as I shot my cum down her throat. With a long moan, I let my head fall back and my body became slack. Gianna lifted her head and wiped her mouth with a wide smile. “I win.”

  I laughed quietly. “You did. Congratulations.”

  “So I won’t have to wear the ankle monitor ever again?” she asked with a hint of suspicion.

  “That’s the bet.” I didn’t tell her that I felt like the real winner. I’d never liked seeing her with the ankle monitor; it had always felt like a sacrilege to cage her in like that. I was glad that she wouldn’t wear it anymore, even if that meant I had to keep a close eye on her, and that Luca would probably punch me.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Gianna

  The next morning after I’d showered and dressed, I enjoyed my newfound freedom, even if it was small. Matteo had kept his promise and stashed the ankle monitor in a drawer. I didn’t have to wear that stupid thing, at least for now. I doubted Matteo would still keep his promise if I tried to run again.

  We’d both lost our bets and yet we both felt like winners. Life with Matteo was an enigma. He was already leaning against the kitchen counter, drinking coffee when I came out of the bedroom. His smile was so smug I had trouble stopping myself from wringing his neck. I grabbed a cup for myself, then leaned across from him. “Do you ever feel regret or guilt?”

  Matteo’s eyebrows climbed his forehead. “Regret?”

  “Yes, you know that feeling normal people have when they’ve done something wrong?” I took a sip. I wasn’t even sure why I was asking, except to wipe that annoying smugness off Matteo’s face.

  For a long time Matteo only looked at me until I couldn’t stand it anymore and pretended my coffee was really interesting. Why did I suddenly feel guilty for asking that question?

  “There’s little time for guilt and regret in my life,” Matteo said. His voice was quiet and devoid of humor; I couldn’t help but look up, trying to gauge his mood, but as usual he was making it difficult.

  “So you do feel it sometimes?”

  “Occasionally. But I’ve learned a long time ago that it’s not clever to dwell on the past. I prefer to focus on the future.” With that, his usual charm was switched back on. He strode toward me, set his cup down on the counter, and braced his arms beside me. “Do you ever regret running?”

  I opened my mouth to say “no” but for some reason I hesitated. That moment of hesitation was all the answer Matteo needed.

  “Why?”

  “Because it got someone killed,” I said quietly. I’d managed to forget Sid and his horrible end, but now it all came back. I could have kicked Matteo for bringing the memory back. Especially because I’d come to realize that the life I’d run from wasn’t as horrible as I’d wanted it to be.

  Matteo’s expression said he didn’t give a fuck about that, and it was pretty much what I’d expected. “I can tell you without a doubt that I don’t feel guilt over that guy’s death,” he murmured. He ran a hand down my side. “I would have killed every guy that touched you. But we both know I don’t have to because despite plenty of opportunity you were a good girl.”

  The way he said “good girl” made my blood boil. I was still trying to come up with a clever comeback when the elevator rang, announcing a visitor. Matteo pecked the tip of my nose with a superior expression before staggering off toward the elevator. I couldn’t believe him.

  I was still glaring at his back when the elevator doors slid open and Aria walked into the apartment. She was talking on the phone. To my surprise Matteo moved into the elevator, leaving us alone. I suspected he could lock the elevator from the outside, so I couldn’t leave unless I took a dive out of the window and ended up as a blood splatter on the sidewalk down below.

  “Who are you talking to?” I asked as Aria headed toward me.

  She gave me a bright smile and held the phone out to me. “Lily and Fabi want to talk to you but Father forbid them from calling you, so…” She trailed off. Of course, I’d suspected something like that. Father had made it pretty clear that he didn’t want me around them anymore.

  “Thanks,” I mouthed to Aria before taking the phone from her and pressing it against my ear. “Lily?” My voice was shaky and I had to clear my throat.

  “Oh, Gianna! I was so sad when Father didn’t let me say goodbye to you. I’ve been begging him to let me talk to you but he got really mad and now I’m grounded.”

  Grounded had always felt like a strange term for our punishment. We had never been allowed to go anywhere alone anyway, so being grounded only meant that we had to stay in the house even more.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, trying to keep my anger for our father back. Lily still had to live under his rule. She didn’t need to get in trouble because of me. I walked over to the living area and sank down on the sofa. Aria perched on the edge beside me. “How’s school?” I asked.

  “Boring. But at home is even worse. Since you and Aria moved out, nothing fun ever happens anymore,” Lily murmured. My heart ached for her. I’d always had Lily, and for a long time Aria, but Lily would have to survive for years without that kind of support. Of course she still had Fabi but he was a boy and would soon face very different challenges. “What about Fabi?”

  “He’s being a pain in the ass,” Lily said. In the background I could hear my brother say something. “You are!” Lily retorted. “Oh shut up. It’s my turn now. You can talk to her later.” There was the sound of grappling and then there was Fabi’s voice in my ear. “Gianna!”

  “Shhh, you fathead,” Lily hissed, obviously taking the phone back. “Nobody can know that we’re talking to her.” For a moment there was silence as if they were both listening for sounds, then Lily spoke again. “Is Romero there with you?”

  I laughed. “That’s why you’re calling? I thought you wanted to see how I was doing,” I said in a mock hurt voice.

  “Of course I want to know how you’re doing.”

  “I’m fine.” There was a pause. Deciding to stop torturing her, I added, “And Romero isn’t here.” I glanced at Aria and she whispered “upstairs.” “He’s at Aria’s place, discussing important mob business with our husbands.” Sarcasm dripped from the words. “Do you want me to go upstairs and ask him to talk to you?”

  “No!” Lily blurted. “He’ll think I’m in love with him.”

  “Aren’t you?”

  Silence. Poor Lily, I didn’t have the heart to tell her that there was no chance in hell that Father would ever allow an alliance between my sister and a mere soldier, especially one from New York. Love just wasn’t something that mattered.

  “How do I know if I’m in love?” Lily whispered after a while.

  Yes, how? I hadn’t been in love with Sid or anyone else. I wasn’t in love with Matteo.

  Right?

  “I don’t know,” I admitted.

  “Aren’t you in love with Matteo?”

  “Why would you think I was? I ran away, remember?”

  “But you’re married now.”

  “Marriage doesn’t equal love.”

  “It did for Aria,” Lily said. My eyes darted to Aria who was frowning at me.

  “You’re right. Maybe you should ask her then.” Before Lily could say another word, I handed the phone to Aria. “Lily wants to know how it feels to be in lov
e.”

  Aria took the phone from me, her blue eyes full of concern. She listened to Lily for a moment before she said, “That’s hard to put into words. Love is when you feel safe in someone’s arms, when he’s the first thing you want to see in the morning, love is surrendering. You risk getting hurt but you don’t care. You are willing to give someone the power to break your heart. Love means seeing someone at their worst and still seeing the good in them, love means someone is perfect for you despite their imperfections.” She grew quiet, eyes distant.

  I didn’t have to ask; I knew about whom she was thinking. I swallowed hard. I could have never said what Aria had just said. Unwantedly an image of Matteo’s cocky grin flashed in my mind. I’d definitely seen him at his worst that day he’d tortured the Russians.

  “But how do I know when I’m in love?” I heard Lily’s whine through the phone.

  Yes, how?

  “It’s a gradual process. I don’t really know when exactly I started loving Luca. For a long time I thought I hated him.”

  I pushed to my feet, suddenly restless. This wasn’t a topic I felt comfortable with. It made my chest feel tight, made me start to panic in an odd way. I hurried into the kitchen and made myself another cup of coffee. After a couple of sips, I returned to Aria who gave me a questioning look. I raised my cup as a way of explanation. “Here,” she said, handing the phone back to me.

  “So what else is new?” I asked lightly.

  I could practically hear Lily roll her eyes. “Are you going to come to our Christmas party?”

  I opened my mouth to say yes, because I’d always been there, then I realized I probably wasn’t wanted anymore. “I don’t know. Things are difficult at the moment.”

  “You mean Father doesn’t want you to come.”

  “The only reason I would want to come is you and Fabi. I don’t care about anyone else. And maybe you and Fabi can come visit New York in the New Year.”

  Lily was silent. “Father said he won’t ever allow us to go to New York again after what you did.”

  That shouldn’t have shocked me as much as it did, I suppose. Of course he wouldn’t let Lily out of his sight. He couldn’t risk another one of his daughters turning into a slut. “We’ll figure something out. I’ll ask Matteo if we’re going to Chicago.”

  Facing Father again was the last thing I wanted to do. For all I cared I would never set foot on Chicago ground again, but the idea of never seeing Fabi and Lily again was even worse.

  “Promise?”

  “I promise,” I said. “Now give me Fabi before Father realizes you’re talking to me and not Aria.”

  “Hi,” came Fabi’s voice.

  “I bet you’ve grown another two inches since I last saw you.”

  “When I grow up I’ll be at least six feet tall,” he said proudly.

  “Six feet four at least. You’ll probably be taller than Luca.”

  “That would be so cool. I could kick everyone’s ass. Everybody would have to be nice to me and respect me.”

  I smiled wistfully. Soon enough people would do that anyway. The cute boy would be replaced by a ruthless killer. “That would be cool,” I agreed. “So do you have any new knives?”

  Fabi had a huge collection of knives. A bigger collection of knives than a ten-year-old should have. Of course Father supported my brother’s fascination with weapons.

  “No,” Fabi said, sulking. “Father is angry at me.”

  “Because of me?”

  Fabi didn’t say anything at first but I knew he was shrugging in that cute way he had. “I don’t like how he screamed at you.”

  “I don’t like it either, but you have to try not to make Father angry too often, Fabi. I don’t want you to get punished.” Now that I wasn’t available as Father’s favorite punching bag, I worried Fabi might have to bear the brunt of his anger.

  “Okay,” he said. “I miss you.”

  “I miss you too.”

  We hung up and I handed the phone back to Aria.

  “Are you okay?” she asked.

  I nodded half-heartedly. “The party is next weekend, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I guess I’m not invited?”

  Aria grimaced. “Even Luca and I aren’t sure if we should be going.”

  “Why?”

  “Things are really bad right now. Luca has enough trouble in New York. And he doesn’t want to deal with Dante Cavallaro or Father in addition to that.”

  “Fabi and Lily will be really sad if you don’t come to visit.”

  “I know,” Aria said with a sigh, leaning against the backrest. “That’s what I’ve been telling Luca. I even suggested I could fly over alone with Romero, so Luca could take care of business here.”

  “Let me guess. He hated that idea.”

  Aria laughed. “Yeah. He doesn’t trust the Outfit and won’t let me go there without him.”

  “I kind of have to agree with him. I wish we could go together though.”

  “Maybe next year. Father can hardly stay mad at you forever.”

  “Father will still be mad at me when he’s roasting in hell.”

  * * *

  As expected, I wasn’t invited to my family’s Christmas party. Officially, Father couldn’t have denied me entrance as Matteo’s wife, but not only would that have been very awkward but Matteo also didn’t want to risk taking me back to Chicago so soon. That night after my body had won over my brain once again and succumbed to Matteo’s charm, I lay naked in his arms, his chest pressed up against my back. I wasn’t sure why I always fell asleep with his arms around me, and worse why I was sometimes longing for his closeness during the day too. So far I’d managed to resist that second notion at least.

  “Will I ever see Fabi and Lily again?” I whispered into the silence.

  Matteo’s arms around my waist tightened. “If they were part of the Cosa Nostra, Luca could do something, but your father only has to listen to Cavallaro.”

  “I know,” I said almost angrily. I knew how things worked in our world. “But can’t we invite my family over for some kind of gathering? Father wouldn’t reject a direct invitation, right?”

  Matteo propped himself up and stared down at my face. “Your father would definitely follow the invitation, but he wouldn’t have to take your sister and brother with him. Many men keep their families out of it for security reasons.”

  I nodded.

  Matteo watched me for a long time and it was starting to make me feel naked in a very different way. I shot him a glare. “What?”

  “Luca is very convincing. Maybe he can ask your father to allow Liliana and Fabiano to come for a visit after Christmas. Your father could send his own guards with them if he doesn’t trust us.”

  “Why would Luca do that? He and Aria are still welcome in Chicago.”

  “If I ask Luca, he’ll do it.”

  “And why should you ask him? Aren’t you in enough trouble already because of Bardoni and getting rid of my ankle monitor?”

  Matteo twirled a strand of my hair around his finger. “I’d do it for you. You are my wife and I want to make you happy.” His smile was teasing and yet what he’d said had sounded sincere.

  My heart thudded dangerously, and new panic rose up. What was happening? Fear of my own emotions got the better of me. “If you really care about me and want to see me happy, let me go. All I’ve ever wanted was freedom and a normal life.”

  The moment the words left my mouth, I realized I wasn’t sure if they were still the truth.

  Matteo’s expression shut off, something hard and cold settling in his eyes. He lay back down and extinguished the lights. I almost apologized and reached out for him.

  His lips brushed my ear. “I guess then that means I don’t care enough. Because letting you go? That’s the one thing I’ll never do.”

  * * *

  After that conversation, our interactions in the next few days were reduced to sex once again.

  To my surprise, I mis
sed our banter. I even missed Matteo’s stupid cockiness and that annoying shark-grin, but most of all I missed falling asleep with his fingers tracing the soft skin of my inner forearm.

  Christmastime was definitely turning into my own personal nightmare. Matteo and I were invited to three more parties, all of them either hosted by high-ranking mobsters, or business men with close connections to the mob. All of them too important to offend by not attending. I really hoped Matteo wouldn’t kill any more hosts though. The Bardoni debacle so far had been without consequences but I still wasn’t entirely sure it would stay that way. At some point people would undoubtedly get suspicious.

  Now that I wasn’t wearing an ankle monitor anymore, Sandro was my shadow, and when Aria and I went anywhere together, Romero was always there as well. It was ridiculous. Even without a technical device every aspect of my life was out of my control. Married bliss, my ass.

  I fixed a wayward strand, which had fallen out of my updo, and brushed my hands over my new dress. With all the social events looming in my future, Aria and I had done another big shopping trip. I was starting to feel like one of those trophy mob wives I’d despised all my life. Shopping, social events, and warming their husband’s bed was their whole world, and also mine. I glared at my reflection. I even looked all the way like a trophy wife with my hair in that elegant updo and the gorgeous dark green cocktail dress that hugged my curves. Even my huge wedding ring and the diamond necklace screamed trophy wife. It took all my self-control not to rip the dress off my body and cut my hair off. How could I have become what I’d hated for so long? And how could I be okay with it?

  “Aria and Luca are here,” Matteo shouted. “We need to get going.” This was more than he’d said to me outside of the bedroom since that night. With a sigh, I turned away from the mirror and headed toward the living room where Aria, Luca, and Matteo were waiting. Matteo looked marvelous in a slim-fit black suit, white shirt, and black tie. It was so cliché mobster, but he pulled it off with ease. That man always looked good. His eyes did a quick scan of my outfit and my body responded with a familiar shiver. I’d read about looks that were like sex, but I’d always considered them urban legend. But Matteo had that look down to a T.