by Cora Reilly
“Yes, thank you,” I said, but somehow I’d hoped for a different gift from Romero. Something personal, something that showed I was special.
“These are my sisters.” He pointed at the taller girl with thick brown curls. “This is Tamara, she’s fifteen like you.” I smiled and so did Tamara but she seemed as embarrassed as I felt. “And this is Keira, she’s twelve. I’m sure you’ll get along fine.” It was obvious that I was supposed to spend time with them because I was still too young to hang with Aria, Luca, and the others. It annoyed me, even though Tamara and Keira seemed nice enough, but I hadn’t come to New York for a kid party. With another smile, Romero headed for Luca and Matteo, and I led his sisters toward Aria and Gianna, and the buffet.
I tried my best to enjoy the evening and be nice to Romero’s sisters but I wanted something special for my birthday, something I’d been dreaming about for a very long time. When I noticed Romero heading out onto the roof terrace for a call, I snuck out as well. The others were hopefully busy enough not to miss me for a couple of minutes. Romero talked on the phone and didn’t notice me at first. I followed him quietly and watched as he leaned against the banister. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, revealing muscled forearms. I wondered how it would feel to run my hands over them, to feel his skin and strength.
When his eyes settled on me, his brows drew together in a frown and he straightened. I moved closer and positioned myself beside him. He hung up and put his phone in his pocket. “Shouldn’t you be inside with your guests?” he asked with a smile, but I could tell that it wasn’t as honest as usual.
I moved a bit closer and smiled up at him. “I needed some fresh air.”
Romero’s eyes were alert as he watched me. “We should return.”
“There’s something I want for my birthday,” I said quietly. “Something only you can give me.” I’d repeated the words in my head countless times but aloud they didn’t sound half as flirty as they had in my imagination.
“Liliana,” Romero began, his body brimming with tension.
I didn’t want to hear what he was going to say. I quickly stood on my tiptoes and tried to kiss him. He gripped my shoulders before my lips reached his and held me away from him like I had an infectious sickness.
“What are you doing?” He let me go and took a few steps back. “You are a child, and I’m a soldier of the Famiglia. I’m not a toy you can play with whenever you’re bored.”
I hadn’t expected that kind of reaction from him. Surprise and shock, yes, but anger? No. “I only wanted to kiss you. I don’t want to play games. I like you.”
Romero shook his head as he gestured toward the glass door. “Go back inside. Your sisters will start to wonder where you are.”
He sounded like a big brother, and that was the last thing I wanted him to be. I whirled around before I walked back in a rush. My heart shriveled in my chest. For some reason I’d never considered a rejection from Romero. I’d fantasized about our first kiss so often that the option of it never happening had never crossed my mind. The rest of the evening, I struggled to keep a happy face, especially whenever I saw Romero. I was actually glad to return to Chicago. I wouldn’t get to see Romero for a long time, enough time to get over him and find someone else to crush on.
Romero
I’d known Liliana had a crush on me. Aria had mentioned it before, but I’d never expected the girl to act on her feelings. She was a pretty kid. A kid.
I didn’t have the slightest interest in her and the sooner she understood the better. She’d looked fucking hurt when I’d lashed out at her, but I had no choice. Even if she weren’t still a child, I couldn’t have let her kiss me. I was a soldier of the Famiglia and she was the daughter of the Outfit’s Consigliere.
When I returned to the living area, Luca walked up to me. “What was that? Why was Liliana outside with you?”
Of course he’d noticed. Luca never missed anything.
“She tried to kiss me.”
Luca’s eyebrows rose. “I assume you pushed her away.”
“Do you really have to ask? She’s my sister’s age.”
“Her age isn’t even the main problem. At least in her father’s eyes.”
“I know.” I was a soldier, and girls like Liliana were supposed to stay in their own social circles.
Luca sighed. “That girl will be as much trouble as Gianna, if not worse.”
I had a feeling he might be right.
CHAPTER THREE
Liliana
“The nerve of that girl! From the day she’d been born she’s been nothing but trouble!” Father’s words echoed through the house. Fabiano peered up at me with his big blue eyes as if I knew the answers to his questions. My own mind was a huge question mark. I wasn’t exactly sure what had happened but I got the gist of it. Gianna had disappeared while she’d been in New York with Aria. Now everyone was looking for her. No wonder Aria hadn’t asked me to visit as well. Not that I would have been too keen on returning to New York after my last embarrassing encounter with Romero four weeks ago, but it still stung that Aria and Gianna had made plans behind my back, behind everyone’s back.
I walked down the stairs, motioning for Fabi to stay where he was, as I inched toward Father’s office. Mother was there, crying. Father was on the phone, from his still angry but more restrained tone I assumed with his boss, Dante Cavallaro. Cavallaro was the only person that Father truly respected. Mother spotted me in the doorway and quickly shook her head, but I took another step forward and into the office.
I knew it was better to stay away from Father when he was in a mood like this, even though he usually lashed out at Gianna and not me, but my sister was gone now.
Father hung up, then narrowed his eyes at me. “Did I allow you to come in?”
His voice hit me like a whip but I stood my ground. “What happened to Gianna?”
Mother sent me a warning look.
“Your sister ran off. She’ll probably get herself knocked up by some idiot, and ruin her and our family’s reputation.”
“Maybe she’ll come back,” I suggested. But somehow I knew she wouldn’t. This wasn’t a spur-of-the-moment thing. She’d planned this, for months probably. That explained all the secrecy with Aria during our last visit in New York. Why hadn’t they told me? Didn’t they trust me? Did they think I’d run to Father the first chance I got? And then another thought buried itself in my brain. If Gianna was gone, if she didn’t marry Matteo, who else would? Fear washed over me. What if Father made me marry Matteo? I’d hoped I could marry for love now that my sisters had already been married off for tactical reasons. Maybe it was a selfish thing to think in a situation like this but I couldn’t help it. An image of Romero popped into my head. I knew it was silly to think of him when it came to marriage. Even if Gianna returned and still married Matteo, it would be almost impossible to convince Father to give me to a mere soldier, especially one from New York. And then there was the problem that he didn’t even want me and that I’d promised myself to get over him.
I knew all that but that didn’t mean I couldn’t hope and dream, sometimes it felt like that was all I could do.
“How many men will have had Gianna by then? She’ll be worth nothing even if she returns,” Father spat. I winced, horrified by his harsh words. Worth nothing? Surely we were more to him than a commodity to sell off. More than a thin piece of flesh between our legs?
Father gripped my shoulders, his eyes burning into me. I shied back but he didn’t release me. “Don’t think I don’t see how you’re making eyes at my soldiers. You’re too much like Gianna for your own good. I won’t have another daughter make a fool out of me.”
“I won’t,” I whispered. Father had never talked to me in that tone before. His expression and words made me feel cheap and unworthy, like I needed to clean myself of my impure thoughts.
“That’s right. I don’t care if I have to lock you into your room until your wedding day to protect your reputation and honor
.”
This wasn’t about my honor or reputation. I didn’t care about it. This was all about my father. It was always about the men in the family, what they wanted and expected.
“Rocco, Lily is a good girl. She won’t do anything,” Mother said carefully. That wasn’t what she usually told me. She always warned me that I was too flirty, too aware of the effect that my body had on men. But I was glad for her support because too often she’d remained silent when Father had attacked Gianna in the same way.
Father let go of me and turned on her. “It was your job to raise decent girls. For your sake, I hope you’re right and Liliana won’t follow after Gianna.” The menace in his voice made me quiver. How could he be so horrible toward his own wife?
Mother blanched. I backed away and nobody tried to stop me. I quickly ran upstairs. Fabi waited for me, his eyes wide and curious. “What happened?” he asked fearfully.
I shook my head in response, not in the mood to recap everything for him, and stormed toward my room.
I’d never been at the center of Father’s anger like that. But now that Gianna was gone, he’d keep an extra eye on me, making sure I was the perfect lady he wanted his daughters to be. I’d always felt free, never understood why Gianna felt so restrained by our life, but now it started to dawn on me. Things would change now.
* * *
In the months since Gianna’s escape, things at home had been tense at best. Father had lost it over the smallest things. He’d hit me only twice, but Fabi hadn’t been as lucky. But worse than the violence was his constant suspicion, the way he watched me like I was another scandal in the making. My golden cage had become a bit smaller, even though that had seemed hardly possible before. I hoped things would change now that Matteo had caught Gianna and was bringing her back to Chicago. Maybe that would appease Father, although he’d seemed far from appeased when I’d last seen him. I wasn’t quite sure what exactly had happened but from what I gathered Gianna had been caught with another man, and that was the worst-case scenario in our world. Father would probably put me in shackles to stop me from doing the same.
“When will they be here?” Fabiano asked for the hundredth time. His voice had a whiny tinge to it and I had to stop myself from lashing out at him in frustration.
Fabiano and I had been waiting on the first floor landing for the last twenty minutes, and my patience was running thin.
“I don’t know,” I whispered. “Be quiet. If Mother figures out we’re not in our rooms, we’ll be in trouble.”
“But—”
Voices sounded below. I recognized one of them as Luca’s. He managed to fill a house with it; no wonder considering how big he was.
“They are here!” Fabiano dashed away and I was close behind him as we stormed down the staircase.
I spotted Gianna immediately. Her hair was brown now and she looked utterly exhausted but apart from that she was the sister I remembered. Father had often made it sound like she would be a new person if she ever returned; a horrible worthless person.
Father sent Fabi and me a glare when he noticed us, but I didn’t care. I rushed toward Gianna and wrapped my arms around her. I’d missed her so much. When I’d first heard that Matteo had caught her, I’d worried he’d kill her, so seeing her unharmed was a huge relief.
“Didn’t I tell you to keep them upstairs?” Father hissed.
“I’m sorry. They were too quick,” Mother said. I peered over my shoulder to see her apologetic face as she came down the staircase. Since Gianna’s escape Father had been on edge constantly and often lashed out at her as well. His screams had woken me more than once at night. I wasn’t sure when he’d become so violent. I didn’t remember him being like that when I was younger, or maybe I’d only been less aware of those things.
“Lily, Fabi, back to your rooms,” Father ordered. I let go of Gianna and was about to protest but Fabi beat me to it.
“But, Father, we haven’t seen Gianna in forever,” Fabi grumbled.
Father advanced on us and I tensed. He rarely hit me but he looked furious. He grabbed Fabi and me, and dragged us away from Gianna. Then he pushed us toward the staircase. “Upstairs now.”
I stumbled from the force of his push, but when I’d regained my balance I stopped and didn’t move. I couldn’t believe he wouldn’t let us talk to Gianna after we hadn’t seen her in so long.
“It’s okay,” Gianna said but her face told a different story. She looked hurt and sad, and usually Gianna wasn’t someone who showed that kind of emotion. “We can talk later.”
My eyes were drawn to something behind her: Romero. He stood strong and tall, his eyes firmly focused on my father. I hadn’t seen him in seven months and over time I’d thought I’d gotten over my crush, but seeing him now my stomach fluttered with butterflies again.
Father’s outburst drew my attention back to him. “No, you can’t. I won’t have you around them. You are no longer my daughter, and I don’t want your rottenness to rub off on Liliana,” he thundered. He looked like he would have loved nothing more than to kill Gianna. It scared me. Shouldn’t he love us, his children, no matter what? If I ever did something he disapproved of, would he hate me as well?
“That’s bullshit,” Matteo said.
“Matteo,” Luca said. “This isn’t our business.” My eyes darted between the two, then again toward Romero whose hand was below his vest. A twisted part of me wanted to see him in action. He was probably amazing in fight situations, and an even worse part knew Mother, Fabi, and I would be better off if Father was gone.
Mother wrapped her fingers around my wrist and took Fabi’s hand. “Come now,” she said insistently, tugging us toward the staircase and upstairs.
“That’s right. This is my family, and Gianna is still subject to my rule, don’t you ever forget that,” Father said.
“I thought I wasn’t your daughter anymore, so why do I have to listen to a word you say?”
My head whirled around, stunned by the venom in Gianna’s voice.
“Careful,” Father hissed. “You are still part of the Outfit.” He looked like he would have beaten Gianna if it weren’t for Matteo who held her by the waist. Mother tried to pull me along but Romero glanced up at that moment and his eyes met mine. His rejection on my birthday was still fresh in my mind, and yet I knew I still wanted to kiss him. Why was it that we sometimes wanted something that was impossible? Something that only led to hurt?
CHAPTER FOUR
Two years later
Liliana
Sometimes it felt like I had to prove myself to Father every day. He waited for me to mess up like Gianna had, but I wasn’t sure how that was even possible; he never let me out of sight. Unless I started something with one of my ancient bodyguards, there was no way I could sully my honor. But Father hadn’t forgiven Gianna yet, which was why I hadn’t seen her in almost two years. She was forbidden from coming to Chicago, and I wasn’t allowed to visit New York. If it wasn’t for Aria’s sneakiness, I wouldn’t even have been able to talk to Gianna on the phone.
Sometimes even I felt anger toward Gianna because her escape had turned my life into hell. Maybe Father would have been less strict if Gianna had played by the rules. And then there were moments when I admired her for her daring behavior. There wasn’t a night when I didn’t dream of freedom. I didn’t really want to run but I wished I could carve myself out more freedom in my life. Freedom to date, freedom to fall in love and be with that person.
I didn’t even remember how it felt to be in love. Just like Gianna, I hadn’t seen Romero in almost two years. What I’d felt for him back then hadn’t been love, not even close. It had been admiration and fascination, I knew that now. But there had been nobody else either. Of course, it was hard to meet someone to fall in love with if you went to an all-girls school and weren’t allowed to go anywhere alone.
The sound of glass shattering downstairs tore me from my thoughts. I jumped off my bed and opened my door. “Mother?” I called. She’d be
en gone all morning. There was no answer but I could hear someone moving in the kitchen.
I crept out of my room and down the stairs. “Mother?” I tried again when I’d almost reached the door to the kitchen. Still no answer. I pushed the door open and stepped inside. A wine bottle lay broken on the floor, red wine spilled around it. Mother was kneeling beside it, her cream-colored skirt slowly soaking up the liquid, but she didn’t seem to notice. She was staring down at a shard in her palm as if it held the answer to all her questions. I’d never seen her like that. I walked toward her. “Mom?” I almost never called her that, but it felt like the right choice at the moment.
She looked up, her blue eyes unfocused and teary. “Oh, you are home?”
“Where else would I be?” I wanted to ask, but instead I touched her shoulder and said, “What’s the matter? Are you alright?”
She stared down at the broken piece of glass in her hand again, then dropped it to the floor. I helped her to her feet. She wasn’t steady on her legs and I could smell alcohol on her breath. It was still early for her to start drinking, and she wasn’t really much of a drinker at all.
“I was at the doctor’s.”
I froze. “Are you sick? What’s wrong?”
“Lung cancer,” she said with a small shrug. “Stage three.”
My throat constricted. “But you never smoked! How is that even possible?”
“It can happen,” she said. “I’ll have to start chemotherapy soon.”
I wrapped my arms around her, feeling helpless and small under the weight of that news. “Does Father know?”
“I couldn’t reach him. He didn’t answer his phone.”
Of course not. Why should he answer a call from his wife? He was probably with one of his mistresses. “We need to tell Aria and Gianna. They need to know.”
Mother gripped my arm. “No,” she said firmly. “It’ll ruin their Christmas. I don’t want them to know yet. There’s no reason to worry them. I haven’t spoken to Gianna in a long time anyway, and Aria has enough on her plate as wife of the Capo.”
