#Fate

by Cambria Hebert

  Concerned, I glanced around for a nurse. Why wasn’t anyone doing anything? Should babies just be left alone like this? Was that one sick? Why wasn’t it swaddled and sleeping like the rest?

  And who the hell put that baby in the corner?

  Quickly, I went around as close as I could get to the baby, but it was still too far to see. He was still screaming his head off, and it was giving me anxiety. I didn’t need any more anxiety.

  I thought about how painful it was to walk away and leave Drew alone in that room before. How empty and achy I’d felt. How I still felt that way, knowing I couldn’t be beside him.

  That baby in there was the same. Alone. Obviously upset. And someone left him there alone.

  What the fuck kind of hospital was this?

  I was going to have to get Gamble on the phone. Dude needed to whip this place into shape.

  The baby threw out a fist, and the tiny appearance of it felt like a punch in my gut.

  Enough.

  Walking with clear purpose, I went back around, found the door to the nursery, and walked right in. The lights in here were bright, and everything was sterile. I went right to the side of the bassinet and stared down.

  Something heavy shackled around my heart. Something that didn’t hurt at all.

  The baby was tiny. Smaller than any of Rimmel’s or Ivy’s. Hell, he was even smaller than Joey’s daughter.

  He was completely uncovered. The blanket I assumed had been swaddled around him was kicked away, his arms and legs exposed to the air.

  He was trembling. Trembling quite terribly for such a small body.

  “Hey, now,” I said quietly. “What’s with all this noise? Are you freezing cold?”

  The baby kept squalling, not even sparing me a glance.

  “I get it,” I told him. “I’m pissed off with just about everyone in this place too.”

  After another quick glance around for a nurse, seeing no one, I hesitated no more. Smoothing out the blanket (which was just as shitty as Drew’s), I lifted the little guy into the center and turned him into a burrito.

  The trembling of his arms and legs concerned me, making me worry something was wrong, more than low body temperature.

  “Why you so tiny?” I asked him gently, lifting him out of the bassinet and into my arms. “You’re smaller than a little peanut.”

  The baby paused in crying long enough to stare up at me with very dark eyes.

  “You hungry?” I asked, swiping a tear off his cheek.

  He started fussing again, and my body started swaying. That’s what we always did with Rim’s and Ivy’s kids. The wailing went down a notch but didn’t stop.

  “Progress,” I told him, spotting a rocking chair on the other side of the room. Settling into a smooth rocking rhythm, the baby quieted but still squirmed and trembled quite a bit. As I rocked, he fussed his mouth, searching around.

  Nearby was a bin filled with supplies, among them a wrapped pacifier. Snatching it up, I ripped it open and held it out for him.

  It was the kind that you could put your finger inside to help hold it. The baby tried to latch on, and after a few unsuccessful attempts, he started crying again.

  “Whoa,” I told him. “Let’s keep it calm. Try, try again.”

  This time I put my finger inside it, holding it in his mouth. He latched on and didn’t let go. As he sucked, he made unhappy noises around it but stared up at me with intensely dark eyes.

  “You and me, we have something in common,” I told him. “Stuck in this hospital and not happy about it. Who left you alone in here anyway? Where’s your mom? Your dad?”

  His limbs started kicking around again, so I tucked him a little closer against my chest for security.

  “You’re not supposed to be in here,” said a woman wearing scrubs with teddy bears all over them.

  “Aren’t you supposed to be?” I said, keeping my voice low and unchallenging.

  “We’re short staffed today. I had to run down the hall.”

  “I got tired of hearing him cry,” I said simply, gazing back down.

  “He’s a she.”

  I glanced up, surprised.

  The nurse smiled. “She’s a girl.”

  “Well, her hat wasn’t color coded like the others.” I defended myself, glancing at the pink and blue striped garment.

  “The parents usually do that. The striped ones are hospital given.”

  “Well, why didn’t her parents give her a hat?” I demanded, quietly. “And a better blanket. The blankets here suck.”

  The nurse smiled and stepped farther into the room.

  “Where are her parents anyway? Who lets their kid cry like that?”

  “This is the first time I’ve seen her quiet since she came.” The nurse came closer, peering down at the baby’s face.

  “She was cold. And pissed off someone shoved her in the corner.” As I spoke, I pulled her against me just a little closer.

  “The heat lamp is over there. We had her under it earlier for warmth.”

  “She’s been crying all day.”

  “Babies in her condition usually do.”

  “That’s no excuse—” I stopped midsentence. “In her condition?”

  The nurse nodded.

  “She’s sick?” I worried, glancing down at her again. She fussed and kicked me in the chest. “What’s wrong with her?”

  “NAS.”

  “NAS?” I echoed. Then feeling like I was getting some top-secret info, I glanced around. The last thing I needed was some pissed-off parents demanding I get tossed off the floor because I touched their precious daughter.

  Then I’d have to get pissed they left her in here alone to cry.

  Then it would get ugly, and he would use it as more ammo to keep me away from Drew.

  Fuck, I was exhausted.

  “Maybe you should get her parents,” I said, starting to stand. “I’m sorry I came in here. I just…” I glanced down. “I didn’t like hearing her scream like that.”

  “Stay,” the nurse said, putting a hand on my shoulder to stop me from rising.

  “What?” My voice was incredulous.

  She pulled her hand away and offered a tired smile. “It’s been a really long day, and it’s really nice to not hear her scream.”

  “But what about—”

  “She’s an orphan.”

  My back hit the wooden rails of the rocker when I sat back. “An orphan?”

  “A ward of the state. She’s here because of her condition.”

  I glanced down again. Her eyes were still focused on me, tear-filled. Her cheeks were red and blotchy, and her body was still tremoring. Around the paci, she would fuss and latch on, only to repeat it all over again.

  She was tiny. Probably barely five pounds. And she was alone.

  Just when I thought the world was cruel, it showed me how much crueler it could be.

  “What’s wrong with her?”

  “Neonatal abstinence syndrome,” the nurse replied. At my blank look, she smiled and said, “She was born to a drug addict. Basically, she’s going through withdrawal.”

  My heart turned over. “Who would do that?” I muttered, tucking the blanket around her a little closer.

  “I think you’d be surprised how often it happens.”

  People were so fucked up. It seemed incredibly unfair a little peanut like this would pay the price.

  “Is that why she’s shaking so bad?” I asked.

  The nurse nodded. “It’s a symptom she is experiencing.”

  “That why she’s so small?”

  She nodded. “She’s probably hungry. Do you want to feed her?”

  “I’m allowed?”

  The nurse went across the room to pull out some kind of premixed bottle. “Honestly, no. But like I said, she’s never this quiet when I hold her.”

  “I’m just bigger than you. More arm to hold her close.”

  “You’re pretty good with kids,” she said, doing whatever she was doing w
ith the bottle.

  “I have three nephews and two nieces.”

  “I know.”

  At that, my eyes shot up. She smiled. “Your entire family is famous in Maryland, and well, this entire floor is talking about our unconventional guest.”

  Is that why she was more willing to let me hold this baby? Because she already knew who I was?

  “If you know why I’m here, then you must also know I’ve been banned from Drew’s room.”

  She nodded. “That means you have time to feed her, right?”

  After a moment of looking between her and the bottle, I shrugged. “Sure, why not?”

  “It’s a special high-calorie formula that she needs.”

  The second I pulled the pacifier out of the baby’s mouth, she started to scream and kick.

  “You pack an awful big punch, peanut,” I told her.

  It took her a while to latch onto the bottle, but once she did, she stopped crying. The nurse offered some pointers and positioned her head better, then stepped back.

  “She likes you.” She observed.

  “I like people who feed me too,” I quipped. But underneath, something warm spread in my chest. It was a nice reprieve from the insane stress I’d been feeling.

  “Drew,” I said, glancing toward the door.

  “How about I go peek in on him while you feed her? I’ll come back and give you an update.”

  “You’d do that?” I asked, desperate for any kind of information.

  “For a guy who managed to give me a few minutes of peace? Absolutely.”

  She went off to check on Drew, and I leaned back in the rocker a little farther, glancing down at the baby.

  Her eyes were on me again, and I smiled.

  “A girl, huh?” I said. “I guess I deserved all those kicks for assuming your gender.”

  The bottle popped out of her mouth, and she let out a yell.

  “Women,” I muttered, gently guiding it back.

  She went back to eating, I went back to rocking, and both of us found a little bit of peace in this place.

  “You’re kinda cute,” I told her a few minutes later.

  She kicked me again.

  I smiled.

  25

  Drew

  * * *

  Slowly, I began to float to the surface. My limbs, which had been weighed down before, seemed more buoyant, and responsiveness tingled throughout me. Haze draped over me like heavy fog on a cold, damp morning, clinging to every thought I tried to form. The static in my head was still there, but it didn’t drown out everything now. It was a background sound to everything else happening around me.

  Sometimes I would pick out a voice or recognize a sound. Other times, that stupid fog disguised everything, confusing me.

  Impatience burned my veins because a sense of urgency prickled the awareness I did obtain.

  I didn’t know what was wrong, but something was.

  Trent. Where is Trent?

  Is he being subjected to the same thing I am? Does whoever have me trapped here also have him?

  I tried to open my eyes. Darkness clung.

  I tried to use my voice. Silence adhered.

  Despite it all, I fought for consciousness. I fought until exhaustion dragged me down, only to wake up and fight again. The cycle seemed endless, and the fear of being trapped inside my own skin without anyone knowing I was here was scarier than the fear of actually dying.

  I was lost and wandering, trying to find the right way to escape. I searched for the direction, silently asking for the voice I knew could lead me home.

  Home. I want Trent.

  Sharp pain struck me, radiating throughout my midsection and thumping like an extra heartbeat at the base of my skull. Instinct pushed me to retreat, but I wouldn’t go back.

  I’d rather feel the vicious bite of pain than go back to that strange underwater existence. I’d rather hurt with family than suffer alone.

  My eyelashes fluttered, fingertips flexing. Light burst over my consciousness, making my eyes blink and tear.

  “Drew?” Someone called me.

  I blinked again. Everything was so bright and hazy.

  “I think he’s waking up.” A person leaned over me, and I stared, trying to bring them into focus. “Someone get the doctor!”

  “Drew?” A hand wrapped around mine, and I squeezed it back.

  A low sob filled the room.

  The outline focused. Features became visible. Long, blond hair, fair skin. Worried blue eyes.

  I tried to smile, but the uncomfortable stretch in my lips made me stop. I made a sound, worried something was wrong.

  Why is there so much pain? Why is the room so bright?

  Where was I?

  Ivy leaned over me, her body blocking some of the overwhelming light. Someone else stood behind her, but my eyes stayed on her. My sister.

  “Sis,” I spoke, not even recognizing my own voice.

  She nodded, tears flowing down her cheeks with alarming speed.

  “Wha—” I started to ask, then gagged.

  “Braeden!” she called frantically.

  My sister was replaced by the large frame of my brother, his size making me realize… “It’s okay, man. Easy. Take it easy.”

  Braeden slid his arm under my shoulders, slightly lifting my upper body as I gagged.

  “You’re in the hospital. You had an accident.”

  An accident?

  A sudden flash of my car going airborne, the earsplitting sound of grinding metal.

  “Answer me, baby!”

  My eyes widened, and I looked up at my brother, the shock of realization halting my heaving stomach. Any of the weight I’d been supporting on my own surrendered to Braeden, and he easily lowered me onto the pillow.

  Frantic, I glanced around. The first person my eyes landed on was the last person I expected.

  My father.

  Beside him, my mother.

  I looked back at Braeden and Ivy, realizing they both looked like hell.

  I tried to speak, but it came out like a pitiful croak.

  “Easy,” Ivy hurried to say.

  On the other side of the bed, my mom leaned over me. “The doctor is on his way.”

  The pain radiating throughout my body made it hard to breathe. My throat felt like it had been ripped out and then shoved back in. The weight on my chest was so severe I actually looked down to see if I was being restrained.

  I glanced back at my father.

  I tried to sit up, but my arms were like wet noodles and moving them hurt.

  “Ivy,” I rasped.

  “I’m here, Drew. I’m here.”

  Not caring every syllable felt like the stab of a thousand knives, I spoke anyway.

  All I said was one word.

  “Trent.”

  26

  Trent

  * * *

  Commotion in the hallway had me leaping out of my seat. Everyone sitting around also jumped up.

  “What’s going on?” Joey worried as I rushed into the hall.

  Down near Drew’s room, Camden was speaking frantically to a nurse he’d flagged down. My heart nearly exploded out of my chest when she nodded and rushed toward the nurses’ station to pick up the phone.

  I started to run down the hall but caught myself. Putting both hands on the back of my neck, I fought a battle inside me as I paced.

  I knew I couldn’t run back there. If I did, it would get ugly. Again. It would probably push him over the edge.

  Drew was getting better. The doctors were saying he could wake up anytime. Maybe whatever was happening was a good thing.

  What if it isn’t?

  The bottom literally dropped out of my stomach, and I pressed a hand to my guts.

  What if there was some kind of complication? What if his lung collapsed again and he couldn’t breathe?

  Or worse.

  What if he finally woke up but didn’t know anyone?

  The doctor came rushing past, hurrying to
ward Drew’s room.

  “Doctor,” I called, desperate.

  The man glanced around but didn’t stop. “I have to see a patient.”

  That patient was my entire universe.

  He was the sun, the moon, and every star in my sky. And I had no idea what was going on.

  Fuck this. I would just go to jail. As long as I knew he was okay, jail would be tolerable. I rushed forward, only to be dragged back.

  “You can’t do that,” Lorhaven advised, restraining me.

  “Fuck you, Lor!” I spat. “Let me go.”

  “Think,” Hopper cautioned. “Think before you go running down there.”

  “I can’t!” The words burst out forcefully. “I can’t think of anything when I don’t know what’s going on!”

  “I’ll go see,” Romeo said, stepping around us all.

  “Fuck you and your charm, Rome! I should be the one allowed in there, not you!”

  He gave no reaction, just started down the hall at the same time Ivy burst out of the room, skidding into the center of the hallway.

  When she saw me, her eyes widened.

  I shoved away from Lorhaven, stumbling forward, then stopping dead in my tracks.

  I didn’t breathe. My heart didn’t beat.

  We stared at each other for a fraction of a second. Everything stopped.

  “He’s awake.” She all but gasped the words.

  Joy, anxiety, and fierce longing restarted my world and nearly buckled my knees.

  “He’s asking for you.”

  A piercing squeaking sound cracked through the quiet hall when my sneakers pushed off the polished floor. I ran down the hallway like there was a vast fortune waiting at the end.

  Because there was.

  I ran so fast I nearly passed the door, but my hand shot out and caught the frame. My body jolted back, and I crashed into the wood.

  Everyone in the room looked at me, but Drew was all I saw.

  His eyes were open. The second mine collided with them, I felt like I’d been hollowed out all over again. I’d hoped for this moment a million times. I’d hurt for it. I’d planned to be at his side, reassuring him that everything was okay.