Just a Heartbeat Away

by Cara Bastone

  Giles rose up and nodded, stepping away. “My husband took our daughter to the bathroom, and my job was to get the stroller into the car. It’s a little emasculating to fail so epically at the easier task.”

  Seb scoffed. “Trust me. There’s nothing easy about this monstrosity. Here, you put your foot here and really jam down at the same time you rip back on this handle. I think of it like I’m starting a chainsaw. You try.”

  “Ahhhh,” Giles muttered as he followed Seb’s directions and the stroller folded down. “Brilliant.”

  “When in doubt, just kick the hell out of it. Or buy a new stroller.”

  Giles chuffed out a laugh. “Ah, here’s my husband. Look, hon, I folded the stroller!”

  Seb grinned at the satisfied look on his new friend’s face. Giles’s husband strolled up, a little girl, maybe two years old, on his hip. She glared out from under a mop of red hair, much like the hair of the man who held her.

  “Sebastian, this is my husband, Benjamin.”

  “Sebastian Dorner.” Seb shook hands with Benjamin and leaned in just a little to the sulky little girl. “And what’s your name, beautiful?”

  The little girl said nothing, choosing instead to pull an even more sour face in Seb’s direction.

  “Her name is Clara. And contrary to popular belief, she does speak. Are you Sebastian Dorner, the furniture maker?” Benjamin asked.

  Seb looked up in surprise. “Yeah.”

  “Oh my gosh! I’m thrilled to meet you. I’ve been lusting after your website for months. You made a bookcase for some friends of ours. The Littlefields.”

  “Oh sure.” Sebastian nodded. “They’re nice people. Fun to work with.”

  “Are you taking on clients right now?”

  “Always.” Seb reached for his wallet and then remembered he was wearing athletic pants. “Let me grab you a business card from the truck.”

  “No worries, I’ll reach out to you through your website.”

  “Great. Look, I’ve gotta run, but I’ll see you next week?” The words were out of Sebastian’s mouth before he thought twice about it. Somehow, between watching Via round the bases like a cheetah and chatting with these nice people in the parking lot, Seb had decided to come back.

  “Sounds good, nice to meet you!”

  Seb toggled his fingers at Clara, earning an imperious, affronted look from the little girl, and grinned at the two dads. He turned and jogged back to the car.

  “Everything all right?” Via asked from the back seat. Seb saw that Matty had talked one of the two ladies into unwrapping a granola bar and handing him his water bottle.

  “Yup, I just feel an obligation to pass on hard-won stroller knowledge to other dads. Plus, I think I landed myself an interested client.”

  “Knuckles, Daddy.”

  Sebastian grinned as he reached back and pounded fists with his six-year-old.

  “Via tells me you’re an artist,” Serafine said from the front seat. They’d met briefly outside his truck, and Sebastian felt a little skip of his heart when she spoke to him now. She definitely had some strange energy coming off of her. Maybe it was her ethereal river of dark hair or those eerie eyes. Or maybe it was the fact that she was painfully gorgeous, fierce and beautiful like a goddess, or a pirate queen. But either way, Seb was having trouble looking her in the face for any length of time.

  “Furniture maker.”

  Seb reversed the car and headed toward the BQE.

  “He’s an artist. You should see the furniture he makes. It’s stunning,” Via chimed in from the back seat. Seb watched in the rearview mirror while she recapped Matty’s bottle of water for him.

  Seb tried not to shift under Serafine’s sparking gaze. He wondered just how psychic she really was.

  “Is that right? Via, you should buy something then, sister.” She turned to Sebastian. “Her place is depressing. Where IKEA furniture goes to die.”

  “Fin!”

  “It’s true.” Serafine shrugged, a touch of humor in her voice.

  “You need some furniture?” Sebastian asked through the rearview mirror.

  “No! I—yes. I do. I just moved, and I’m still getting everything settled. I was thinking of asking you anyway, before my very rude friend stuck her nose in my beeswax.”

  Matty laughed. “Hey, Dad.”

  “What’s up?” Seb flipped his blinker on and exited onto Shore Parkway.

  “Knock knock.”

  Sebastian grinned. “Who’s there?”

  “Nunya.”

  He grinned harder.

  “Nunya who?”

  “Nunya beeswax.”

  The three adults laughed, and Matty cheesed like he’d just won a gold medal.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  “HO-LY MARY, MOTHER of God, sister.”

  Via knew exactly what Fin was going to say. She shook her head as she poured two glasses of cheap red wine and twisted open a big jar of pretzels. “All right, let’s get this over with.”

  “That man is hotter than July. Like, a serious hunk.” She laughed at herself. “Wow, sometimes I sound just like Jetty, don’t I?”

  Via laughed and nodded in agreement. But apparently Fin wasn’t done.

  “Like, you could roast a marshmallow on that man’s hotness.” Serafine accepted the glass of wine, the bangles on her wrists clinking together as she stretched out her legs onto the coffee table. Via didn’t need to ask for clarification about who they were talking about.

  “Yeah. I never really saw it before, but I gotta say, he looked good in those workout clothes.” She’d been a little surprised at how handsome he’d been, all casual and Saturday rumpled. “All the ladies at school are always going on about how hot he is, but I didn’t really get it until he hit that triple in the sixth inning.”

  “I know.” Serafine licked wine off her lip and closed her eyes, like she was replaying the memory in her mind. “And the way he runs. Like a grizzly bear.”

  “Because he’s so big. Yeah. He looks like he could smash through a brick wall if he wanted to.”

  “Hulk smash, sister. Hulk smash.”

  They both laughed, but Via was the first to sober. She cleared her throat. “Evan has a job interview tomorrow.”

  Serafine raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment on the abrupt topic change.

  “For a software company,” Via continued, swirling the wine in her glass.

  “That’s great.”

  “Yeah. It is.” The conversation stalled a bit, the way it always did when Via brought up Evan. She knew that Serafine was waiting for Via to ask her why. And that’s exactly why Via didn’t ask. It bothered her that her best friend didn’t try harder to like Evan. And it especially bothered her that Serafine was usually, uncannily, right about these kinds of things. Via stubbornly ignored that. “So, how did the date go with the dentist?”

  Safer to change the subject.

  It was only because of how well they knew one another that Via caught the look of discomfort on Fin’s face. Though Fin wasn’t a stranger to the occasional hookup, dating was new for her and uncomfortable for reasons she had yet to explain to Via. “Ah, not meant to be. He took one look at my jewelry, heard that I make my living working with people’s auras and he couldn’t hail a cab fast enough.”

  “His loss.”

  “Exactly. His aura was all wonky anyways. You know I don’t do well with the red ones.”

  Via nodded, having had this conversation many times. “Too practical. But what were you expecting, really, from a dentist?”

  Serafine nodded her head from one side to the other. “People can surprise you. But maybe you’re right. Maybe I need to start looking for an artist to date. Someone with a nice, yummy green aura.”

  Via gulped down some wine, her stomach tightening when she swallowed too fast. “I assum
e we’re talking about Sebastian.”

  “His aura was deliciously green. With just a touch of purple around the center.”

  “And what does that indicate?”

  “That he’s open, willing to change, to be amazed. That he’s on a journey toward connecting his heart and mind. And there’s a little kiss of orange in there as well. That indicates a lot of passion.” She raised a dark eyebrow. “Of a very specific variety.”

  “All right, all right.” Via raised a hand. “He’s my work colleague, I don’t need to hear any more about his passion.” She paused. “You want me to give him your number?”

  Serafine hesitated infinitesimally, then abruptly nodded. “If it doesn’t bother you, sister. I think that would be a good idea.”

  Via gulped her wine again. “Of course it doesn’t bother me! Why would it? You’re single, he’s single... I think. I’ll definitely pass it along.” She continued to stare at her swirling wine. “Fin? My aura? Is it the same as it was before? Just blue?”

  Serafine sighed. “Oh, Violetta. You know it is.”

  Blue wasn’t a bad aura to have at all. It indicated peace, authority, a sense of calm. But it also indicated a deep loneliness. Via twiddled the wineglass between her fingers. She’d never asked what Evan’s aura was. And she wasn’t about to now.

  * * *

  “YOU’RE GETTING OLD.” Sebastian grinned at Tyler as the man limped back from the play structure, one hand on his lower back.

  Tyler plopped onto the park bench, shoving Crabby to the side as the dog’s tongue lolled out one side of his mouth. “Fuck you. I’m three months younger than you are. And besides, no one over the age of fifteen should be expected to do the monkey bars.”

  “You’re just salty because Joy beat you.” Seb recrossed his legs and watched as Matty and Joy took turns trying to scale a pole, fireman style.

  “Joy always beats me. The kid is like an Olympic athlete already.”

  Sebastian’s eyes wandered over to Joy’s parents, both of them sitting on a bench on the other side of the playground, quietly chatting to one another. He used to sit next to them, but he realized pretty quick that they sat in silence if he was around. He didn’t want to be the third wheel on their park dates.

  “Hey.” Seb turned to Tyler. “How’re things going with Kylie?”

  Tyler leaned forward and picked up one perfectly red Japanese maple leaf. He twirled it in his fingers and sat back, uncharacteristically quiet as he gathered his thoughts. Seb’s stomach dropped. If he was reacting this way, then it was definitely bad news.

  “She’s...all right, I think. But it’s not like she tells me much. You know, a fourteen-year-old kid isn’t exactly wild about chatting with her forty-two-year-old brother on the phone. Sometimes she texts, and I can usually get her to open up a little more. But we’re still getting used to it, you know? It’s only been two years since we knew the other existed.” Tyler tossed the maple leaf back to the ground. “Doesn’t help that her mom hits on me every chance she gets. Gives me the willies.”

  “Well, you’re not related to Kylie’s mom.”

  “Yeah, but she had a kid with my father. There’s some lines a man doesn’t cross. And double-dipping with your dad is one of them.”

  “Oh God.” Sebastian grimaced.

  “Exactly. Anyways, I’ve been trying to talk my way into visiting them in Ohio without having to see Kylie’s mom too much. But I don’t know, I don’t want to push. I know that it’s hard for Kylie to be around me. That I remind her of our dad.” His face drew tight, and for a second, he looked a lot older. “And that’s pretty much the last thing I’d ever want to do.”

  Seb winced as Matty lost his grip on the monkey bars and plummeted to the ground. The kid bounced up half a second later.

  “Ay caramba!” he shouted toward Joy, who laughed her head off at her goofy friend.

  “It’s not your fault your dad didn’t tell them about you before he died. That’s on him, Ty. Him and him alone.”

  “Yeah, but I’m the one who’s dealing with it, while that bastard gets to rest peacefully.”

  They both eyed each other for a second before they burst out laughing.

  “Yeah, Ty, something tells me that Arthur Leshuski is not ‘resting peacefully’ wherever he is right now.”

  “Fair enough.” Tyler grinned and carded a hand through his hair, like he was wiping away the thoughts of his dad. “Regardless, he gets to, I don’t know, shovel coal for an eternity while I’m here dealing with his grumpy teenage daughter and horny ex-wife.” He coughed into his elbow, an old tell that he’d had since childhood. “Let’s talk about something else.”

  “I have a crush on a woman in her midtwenties.”

  Tyler’s jaw dropped as he rotated around and gave Seb his full attention. “Do tell? You have my complete and undivided attention.”

  Seb waved his hand through the air, embarrassed that he’d said anything. “It’s nothing. Really. This woman that works at Matty’s school. She’s cute. Too young. Has a boyfriend. The works. It’s nothing.”

  “It’s not nothing. It’s a crush! Your first since Cora. That’s big news, Seb. Big fuckin’ news.”

  “She has a boyfriend,” he repeated.

  “So?” Tyler shrugged and kicked some dirt off his shoe. “He’s probably her age, too, right?”

  “Seems like it. He dresses in clothes two sizes too small and has a ponytail.”

  “Hipster? Please. Seb, you’ve got this in the bag. You’re the mysterious older man.”

  “Much older. I played softball yesterday and I woke up feeling like Father fucking Time. Trust me. She’s not interested in this. It just feels good to crush on somebody is all. It’s not a big deal.”

  “Is she cute?”

  “Sofuckingcute.” The words came out in a rush. Sebastian hadn’t even realized he’d been holding them in. “She has this squished nose, and she’s all tiny.”

  “Blonde?”

  “Brunette.”

  “Really? That’s not your usual type.”

  Cora had been five-ten and platinum blond. Yeah, Via was definitely not his usual cup of tea.

  “Mr. Sebastian?”

  No matter how many times he went over it with her, Seb hadn’t been able to convince Joy that it was okay to just call him Sebastian.

  “What’s up, Joy?”

  “Matty’s stuck in the tunnel.”

  “What?” Sebastian was up like a shot. This was one of the better maintained playgrounds, but still, this was Brooklyn and he’d instructed Matty not to go in any of the structure tunnels. He had nightmares about syringes and used condoms, piles of dirty clothes that ended up having a person sleeping inside. “Show me where.”

  Joy raced forward, her braided black hair bouncing along her back. “Just over here! In the red tunnel.”

  Sebastian swung himself up onto the structure and ducked his head down to look in the red plastic tunnel that connected one end of the playground to another. There was his son, smiling sheepishly and trying to keep his chin from wobbling in front of Joy.

  “Hey, Daddy.”

  “Hey yourself, little dude.” Seb crawled halfway in to the tunnel. “What did I tell you about playing in these tunnels?”

  “That it’s not safe. But you never said I might get stuck!”

  Seb sighed, yanking Matty’s foot from his shoe and then the shoe from the crack in the tunnel. “I didn’t know you might get stuck.”

  “Me neither!” Matty’s face oscillated between humor and embarrassment, with just a touch of panic thrown in. Nobody liked getting trapped in a play structure tunnel. Especially when you knew you weren’t supposed to be in there in the first place.

  “All right.” Seb scooted out of the tunnel after Matty and crouched next to him, jamming his son’s foot back in his shoe. “We’ll tal
k about it later, okay?” Sebastian was very aware that Joy and Uncle Tyler were standing just behind him; he didn’t want to embarrass the kid.

  Matty nodded solemnly, relief in every line of his blunt little face. He rose up, then knelt back down to talk right into Seb’s face, the way he used to do when he was a toddler. “I get it, Daddy. About the tunnels. I get it now.”

  Seb lifted Matty down toward Joy and they chased each other over toward the jankity old seesaw. Yet another dangerous part of this playground. But, what were you gonna do? Not come to the playground with your kid on a Sunday afternoon?

  “It’s crazy how well-adjusted your kid is.” Tyler shook his head, his hands in his pockets.

  “What the fuck does that mean?” Seb’s hackles rose, in the way that they only ever did with Tyler.

  “Put your guns away. I just meant that the kid has been through so much the last few years, and you’ve really done a good job keeping him on an even keel.”

  Seb’s anger pinpricked away. “Yeah. Well. When you’re the only thing your kid’s got, you figure it out.”

  “Don’t diminish it, dude,” Tyler said, his voice suddenly hard and his eyes sharp. “You stepped up to the fucking plate. And you did it because you’re a good person. And a good dad. Don’t act like just anybody could have done what you did, all right?”

  It was with those words in Seb’s brain later that night that he took out his phone. Matty was scrubbed from head to toe, still pink from his bath, and swinging his feet from the barstool at the kitchen counter. He was leafing through a picture book and picking at the smallest bowl of ice cream known to man.

  Seb clicked around until he found his most recent message from Valerie the dog walker.

  Hey, Sebastian! Wanna meet up this week?

  It was topped off with the kissing lips emoji, in case he didn’t understand that it would be strictly physical if and when they met up.

  He was flattered. And part of him, the younger part of him, couldn’t flipping believe he was about to throw away a pipeline to some instant tail. But he looked up at his barefoot son clanking his spoon in his bowl and milking every second of the evening before bedtime.