Just a Heartbeat Away

by Cara Bastone

  “Well,” Via replied to Fin’s question, “Sadie texted me from her honeymoon to tease me about me and Seb flirting on the dance floor. And Grace and Cat pumped me for information at the staff meeting.”

  “Did you give them the line?”

  Via smiled. “Yes. And neither of them tolerated it. They basically threatened to give me a swirly unless I told them some details.”

  Fin laughed. “So...did you?”

  “I told them a few things.” Via thought back to the conversation with her two feisty friends. “It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. They weren’t gossipy, really. They were...happy for me. Thrilled, actually.”

  “Did you talk to the principal yet?”

  “Yes. Seb and I had a meeting with her after work on Wednesday to disclose our relationship, so that she’d know we were dating, in case we were breaking any rules. But she just laughed and clapped her hands and claimed that she’d known all along.”

  Fin paused. “You don’t sound as relieved as I’d thought you’d be.”

  “I guess I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop? I mean, my friends have all been nice to me about it. But I still feel like everyone is whispering about me and, I don’t know, it makes me nervous.”

  “Cost of doing business.”

  “Hmm?”

  “Sister, part of leaving the shadows is people realizing you’re there. You’ve been so desperate to blend in as Via Nothing-to-see-here DeRosa, that you have no idea what to do with the reality of people actually seeing you. Odds are, they aren’t gossiping. They’re probably just processing. Even with as hot as the two of you are, two people steadily dating isn’t going to be a topic of conversation for too long, you know?”

  “Steadily dating.” Via laughed out the words. “You make it sound so appetizing.”

  “Isn’t that pretty much your dream come true?”

  They laughed and talked for a few more minutes before Fin had an appointment with a client to get to. The second the phone clicked off, the quiet of her home seemed to fold in around Via. And not in a good way. Alone again. Blue aura. Defined by loneliness. She could handle it, the same way she always had. By filling up on love when she got the chance and one foot in front of the other for the rest of the time. It unnerved her that the few days she’d spent with Seb and Matty this week had been so special that her lonely moments were starting to seem even lonelier. It was like trying to get reacclimated to a cold shower after she’d been introduced to hot bubble baths.

  She was starting to get worried that there was no going back to the old way.

  It wasn’t terrible, she told herself, this loneliness. But she curled her feet under her as she sat at the table. She tried to press herself tight and small, an attempt to ease the ache of emptiness inside her.

  Via threw herself into her homework and was ten minutes into making notes when someone knocked on her front door.

  “Who is it?” she called as she crossed her living room, pausing on one side.

  “Seb.”

  Her heart kicked as she flung the door open. And sure enough, there he was. One hand on either side of the doorjamb, larger than life. His winter coat was open at the zipper and his boots were mostly untied. His hair was covered in a stocking cap. He pinned her in place with his gray-green eyes.

  “Seb! Oh my God. Come in!” She stepped aside and he came in, kicked off his boots and hung his winter wear on her coatrack. “Why are you here?”

  “Matty’s grandma sent me back to Brooklyn.”

  She closed the door and followed him into her living room. “Why?”

  “Because I was moping about you.” Via’s heart skipped. “She said not to come back until I’ve figured a few things out with you.”

  “What things?”

  Seb didn’t answer. He was too busy trailing his eyes over her, devouring her. “You’re wearing your yoga clothes.”

  “I went to a class earlier.”

  He closed the distance between them in two steps and lifted her clean off her feet. He had two rough paws at her ass as she linked her feet behind his waist. “You drove me crazy that day you led the staff meeting through yoga. I’ve never wanted to bite someone’s ass more than I did yours.”

  Via laughed as he stomped over to the couch and collapsed down on it with her straddled over his waist.

  “As I recall, your ass looked pretty bite-able as well.”

  He grunted, barely acknowledging her comment as he traced his hands down her sides and back up. He tangled his fingers in the straps of her sports bra. His eyes fell to her chest. “Hey, where’d your boobs go?”

  “Seb!” She laughed, outraged and charmed at the same time. “Shut up. I have the kind of boobs that squish all the way down in a sports bra.”

  “They don’t have that problem in other bras.”

  “No, they’re very respectable in a push-up bra.”

  He grunted again and this time his hips jutted upward just a little bit. He leaned forward and bit her exposed collarbone, his tongue tracing where his teeth just were.

  “I should shower,” she whispered, trying to rise up off him. But he clamped an arm over her waist and held fast. “I’m sweaty.”

  “Sweaty muffins.”

  They both laughed, and Via rocked forward on him. “What things are we supposed to be discussing?”

  “I don’t know,” he growled into her neck. “Can’t think.”

  She laughed and rolled her neck to one side. “Try.”

  He growled again; this time it was just pure, guttural noise. “She says I need to show you something.”

  “Show me what?”

  “It’s at my place.”

  “What is it?”

  “I’ll tell you when I show you.” He bit the neckline of her tank top and peeled it down her chest just a little. She gasped when he buried his nose between her breasts and inhaled hard.

  “Should we go to your place then?” she asked, her hips moving of their own accord over him.

  “Yeah,” he grunted. “After.”

  After what? She almost asked out loud, but then he tightened his hold on her hips and rolled up to meet her. Sebastian’s hands were everywhere. He was simultaneously holding her in place and rolling her against him. He had one hand tracing over the back of her neck, one gripping her ass. He was up under the back of her sports bra and tracing a circle on her hip bone.

  His mouth covered hers and Via was pinned in place, vibrating and rolling and climbing. She was grinding herself against him to the same rhythm of her tongue over his. His jeans were rough against her inner thighs as she shamelessly press-press-pressed against the pipe between his legs.

  She was rising, climbing, racing, and abruptly, she stopped, embarrassment a quick bite at the back of her neck. Oh God, she’d been humping him like a teenager. But he growled and grabbed her by the hips and started her rhythm all over again. This time it felt so good that her embarrassment burned up in the passion like thin atmosphere in the thrusters of a space shuttle.

  “That’s right,” he said, directly into her ear. “That’s right.”

  He was soothing her and stoking her at once, guiding her to where they both desperately wanted her to go. She was tensing, her fingers opening and closing on his shoulders. Her head fell back on her shoulders like she was looking for God in the ceiling of her apartment in Brooklyn. The couch creaked with their movements, and she felt a bead of sweat trace down between her breasts.

  She spread her legs even wider as she rocked against him. One of his hands slicked up her back and held her weight as she leaned back and rode him. She felt it coming. Heard the warning shots. Knew it was coming for her and wouldn’t leave until she was wrung out. Via barely had time to raise her head. But somehow her mouth found his, latched on just in time for her to snap the tether of her pleasure and curl her
toes into the next life.

  Her eyes were closed so hard she saw stars. She was delightfully sick with a wild dizziness. There was a well of pleasure within her that Seb was wringing out of her like water from a wet ponytail. She was aware that she was gasping into Sebastian’s mouth. Saying things, probably his name. She may have begged for mercy. She’d never know. All she knew was that when the passion subsided, when she collapsed forward, melting against him, his arms came fully around her.

  He hugged every inch of her, cradling her to his body like she was the most precious thing in his life. Many, many seconds later, she sucked in a breath and realized that she was still alive. Seb kissed her ear, her hair, her eyebrow.

  “Je-zuss.”

  When she pulled back from him, he looked like he’d gone through the dryer. Rumpled and flushed and completely bemused. Embarrassment, stubborn asshole that it was, started to creep back into her.

  He grabbed her chin, one arm still around her. “I feel like I just went to church,” he whispered against her lips, kissing her, warm and openmouthed.

  She laughed, surprised. “What the hell does that mean?”

  “I mean I feel like I just got absolved or prayed or saw heaven or something.”

  “Seb.” She glowed with both pleasure and embarrassment. Until he leaned up and kissed away the rest of her sheepish feeling.

  “So pretty. That was so fucking pretty.”

  He slid his hands from her cheeks and then down to her sides. He gave her ass a little spank that made her squeak. “All right. If you have to, go take a shower and then we’ll go to my place so I can show you the thing.”

  “But,” she sputtered, looking down between her legs at his ridiculously apparent erection. “But you didn’t...”

  He pressed a kiss to her lips. “We’ve got plenty of time for that.”

  “But—”

  “No buts. Just take a shower if you want, and then we’ll get out of here.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  SEB HAD VIA’S hand in his when he jogged up his front steps. They’d driven over from his house, and his leg had jangled the whole way. He couldn’t help but feel that everything was up in the air with her. He wanted it good and settled, and, in his mind, the keys to all of it were at his place.

  “Actually.” He turned to her as they stepped in through his front door. “Leave your boots on. I have two things to show you. The first one’s fun, and the second one’s intense. Let’s start fun.”

  He led a mystified Via through his house and out his back door. “I can’t pin down this mood of yours.”

  “What do you mean?” He pushed open his back door and danced backward through it, leading her toward his workshop.

  “I mean that you get to my house, intense as hell, seduce me in about three seconds. Then you pile me into your truck, and now you’re two-stepping me into your workshop.”

  “You think that was me seducing you?” he asked, stopping so fast she clunked into him. He steadied her with two hands on her shoulders. “That was nothing. Trust me.”

  He kissed her fallen-open mouth and unlocked the padlocked garage door. He led her inside, closed the door against the cold and flicked on lights here and there.

  “What did you—oh, wow! Seb, oh my gosh, this set is gorgeous. And it’s so perfect for you guys. It’ll look beautiful in your living room.”

  He followed her gaze to the oak slab coffee table and matching side tables in the middle of the room. They had gorgeous copper legs and tons of small accents up and down one side. He’d thought about doing the intricate copper decoration on all sides but decided instead that he liked it on just one side, liked the imbalance of it. It felt realistic to him.

  He felt something open up inside him, the kind of swooping pit that the first plunge of a roller coaster makes inside of a person. His muscles tightened in anticipation. “What makes you think these are for my house?”

  “Oh.” She looked stumped for a second before stepping forward and slicking one of those perfect little hands of hers over the finished top. “Well, I guess it was just a feeling. But also because they remind me of the two-sided dining table that you said you’re keeping for you and Matty. I guess they seem like a set.”

  He turned, eyed the table in the far corner of the workshop. He traced his palm over his stubble. He hadn’t consciously done that, but now that she mentioned it, she was dead right. He’d gone and made a set. Except...

  “I made the coffee table and the side tables for you.”

  She took a step back from him. And then another. Her eyes widened. “No.”

  “Yes. All the way down to the copper embellishments. I know you like shiny things.”

  “Seb.” She turned a complete circle, like she was lost, like she was looking desperately for answers in any corner of his workshop. “I can’t accept this.”

  “They’re your belated birthday present. And of course you can.”

  “Sebastian, people pay thousands of dollars for these, I can’t—”

  “You’re not people, Via. You’re Via. You’re Violetta. Miss DeRosa.”

  He was closing the distance between them and she was stock-still, her hands in her hair in the most harried gesture he’d ever seen her make.

  “They’re so beautiful. They need a real home, Seb. Not my crappy apartment on Eighty-sixth.”

  “You have a nice apartment. And it feels like a home. A little lonely, maybe. But these will help with that. And me and Matty and Crabby will be over all the time and that will help, too.”

  “What did you say?”

  “Which part?”

  “Lonely.”

  Her expression cracked and to Seb’s horror, she went from amazed at the gift to utterly broken all in the span of one word.

  “Via.” She was in his arms and shaking.

  “I am. I’m lonely. I’m so lonely. My aura is blue. Fin told me. It’s blue for lonely.” Her arms were between them. She was hugging herself and Seb was hugging her. He wished she’d put those arms around him.

  “Via.”

  “Seb, I was lonely even when I was with Evan. I can’t—oh God. I can’t do this. I can’t bring this into your lovely happy house where you sing Prince with your son and your happy-ass dog. And I can’t accept the gift.”

  She was jogging toward the garage door, lifting it, and like a shot she was across the yard.

  Seb went after her, locking the workshop up, because this was Brooklyn after all, and then he was through the house to her.

  “Stop! Via. Wait.” He tossed himself in front of the front door, his arms outstretched. “Please wait.”

  She had two stubborn streams of tears on her cheeks, and they damn near broke Seb’s heart as they caught the light in his dim hallway.

  “Please wait,” he repeated. Before you do something you can’t undo.

  She stared at him, her big down coat halfway zipped, her hair messy from her hands. And she just put her face in her hands and cried.

  She was quiet and sweet, but the sobs racked her body. Seb did the only thing he could think to do. He led her into her favorite room of the house, the kitchen, and unzipped her coat. He tossed it aside, right onto the floor, and gave his own the same treatment. Seb hiked her up onto the counter and shucked off her boots, chucking them down the hall, like that would keep her from leaving. He left her just long enough to put a pot of water on to boil. And then he was back at her knees, spreading them and inserting himself into her space. His arms went around her and his hands worked up and down her spine, one and then the other, a hot constant band of reassurance. He enveloped her and soon her sobs subsided.

  He could hear the water heating behind him. He wrenched open his pantry, pulled out chamomile tea, and then, on second thought, his emergency bottle of bourbon. He made a cup of tea and filled a shot glass with whiskey.

&
nbsp; He set both beside Via. Looked at them. Took a swig of her tea, took the shot and refilled it. She laughed a little through her tears.

  “Here.” He held up the tea. “And if you want it.” He held up the fresh shot.

  She took it.

  “Please, baby. Tell me. Tell me what’s happening.” His hands went all the way down her arms. She swallowed down some of the tea and took a deep breath.

  “I’m scared.” Her voice was a whisper.

  “Of what?” He paused. “I mean, me, too. God, me, too. But what is it that you’re scared of?”

  “What if...” she sniffled “...what if I’m bad for you?”

  A fresh bout of tears blossomed and Seb wiped them away with his rough thumbs.

  “Jesus. There’s a whole cloud of fear in this kitchen right now. From both sides. Okay.” He paced away. “For the record,” he said, pointing out back toward the woodshop, “that is not how I thought that was going to go.”

  She laughed again.

  “Okay.” Seb was hitting a stride. Weirdly, it was Muriel’s words that were fortifying him. “Here’s what we’re gonna do. We gotta get the fears out into the open. We’ve gotta just say them.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, fuck our fears. Let’s just air them out so we can realize how freaking stupid they are. Yeah? You said one. You’re scared you’re bad for me. Utterly ridiculous, by the way. You’re so good for me that I pretty much could only see you and Matty for the rest of my life and be straight-up thrilled. But yeah, you said one. So now it’s my turn.” He took a deep breath. “I’m scared that I’m too old for you.”

  “What? The age difference doesn’t mean anything to me. I think we fit on so many levels.”

  “Don’t. Just rapid-fire here, say your next fear.”

  “Okay.” She needled her lip. “I’m scared that I’ve been lonely for so long that I won’t be able to shake it. I’ll infect you and Matty with it.”