by Marie Scully
As I finish, I collapse to the floor, leaning against the pale gray wall. My body is no longer able to stand on its own. I let the tears flow down my face—I don’t even try to stop them.
Liam moves to my side, and I lean into him, my head on his shoulder. He holds me without saying a word. I cry for my mother, for James, Nick and Holly, and even Liz. I cry a little for myself as well.
I don’t know how long we sat on the floor with Liam holding me. At some point, I passed out. Liam must have carried me to the bed because I wake the next morning to the sun breaking through the small crack between the curtains.
I hear Liam through the door.
“Yes, it would be a great opportunity. I agree. Let me think… why do you call and ask if you already said yes?” Silence as the person who I assume is Liam’s father responds. “Yes, I’ll make it work… Yes, I’ll pack when I get home and head out to meet them… Okay. Talk to you then.”
I hear the phone hit the couch with a light thud and Liam mumbling something I can’t make out. I crawl from underneath the warmth of the covers towards the sitting room.
“Morning. What was that about?” I ask, standing in the doorway.
“Same shit, different day with my father. He says yes to things that involve me before even asking. Last night must have gone well with us impressing people because he’s already received calls requesting me to ride several of their horses. The big one we were talking about was Hill Fire Farm. They’ve just recently become well known.” He runs his fingers through his hair. “They’ve run some incredible races recently and have a horse in the Breeder’s Cup called Blazing Sun. They want me to be the rider and are offering a large sum to make it happen.”
I walk to the fridge and remove two bottled waters. I quickly open mine and take a large drink. I’m craving water this morning. I hold the other out to Liam.
“Thanks,” he says, copying my actions.
“That’s better now. I feel like I can talk without sounding like a frog,” I say, twisting the top back on.
“A cute frog,” Liam says.
His eyes are twinkling with mischief.
I back away. “Don’t even think about it…”
Liam leaps into action, going to grab me. I move back but not quick enough as he catches me, swinging me in the air and placing me over his back like a sack of potatoes.
“Liam, put me down,” I say, trying not to giggle like a five-year-old. My hair hangs down around my face, probably making me look like Cousin Itt.
I can practically hear Liam’s dimples deepen as he moves towards the bedroom, where he dumps me on the memory foam bed. He leaps into the bed next to me, and I move my body so I’m leaning in to face him.
“You know what I want to do?” he asks, moving my hair from my forehead.
“Mm, what could it possibly be?” I say, leaning in more.
Then his lips meet mine. He kisses me deeply as if he’s afraid I’m going to disappear. I match his raw passion with my own—his kiss is seduction at its finest. He tempts me like no one else.
I tear myself away and push him onto his back, questions swimming in his eyes as I move to straddle him. I need control. I run my fingers over his shirt, marking his skin as mine. He removes my shirt and tugs me back to his lips, throwing the shirt into the corner where it will soon have company.
Now it’s his turn to be in control as he flips me onto my back, holding my wrists together above my head with only one hand. His other hand has other goals, along with his lips. His mouth moves down my neck. Moaning, I move to give him better access, but he moves to my breasts, giving attention to each one. My eyes close, enjoying the sensation of what his hands and mouth are doing. Liam plays my body like a virtuoso plays the violin—efficiently, effortlessly, and with joy. Shivers pass through my body.
“Liam,” I gasp. He moves from his current position back to my lips. Not kissing me, even when I reach for him.
He says against my lips, “What?”
“More.” I can only get out one-word sentences.
“More what?” he asks, still against my lips. He knows what I want and need. I remove his shirt, needing to feel his skin against mine.
“More everything,” I say as Liam slides down my body, removing the last pieces of clothing between us. He spreads my legs, but it feels like eternity till he reaches where I want him to be. Just a small flick of his tongue has me grasping the comforter tighter. A little moan escapes me, spurring him on.
The faster and more precise he gets, the more needy I become. Pressure and pleasure builds. My left hand digs into the bed as the other holds his head in place. I’m almost there. My body is tingling all over, craving its release. He removes his mouth and slides forward, quickly entering me after sliding on a condom. We move together. This time is different. I feel freer, as if finally telling him the whole truth has released me in ways I never expected. My fingers grip his back, practically drawing blood as I gain the release I was craving. His comes only a second after my own.
Both of our bodies spent, he collapses next to me.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Danny
“You ready?” I ask Liam as people move around us on all sides. Excitement fills the air, along with the smell of beer. Bets are coming from all directions. Liam’s eagerness has been at an all-time high since this morning.
“Yes. Can’t wait,” he says, looking all around. Taking it all in. “I have a great feeling about this race. Plus, no matter what, I won’t have to work for Monroe again. He’s a real piece of work.”
“Monroe.” My voice comes out searching. My heart stops, and I can’t think, my brain in a fog at hearing that name. But there are tons of Monroes out there. I need to calm down. This is Liam’s big day; I won’t ruin it. It’s just a name. Thankfully, Liam is distracted and doesn’t notice my sudden mood change.
“Blazing Sun is a great horse, but I’ll never work for the owner again. Even though he pays well, the money’s not worth it.”
“Why, what’s he like?” What does he look like? I want to ask.
“I don’t know how to describe him. The way he treated his daughter was cold—almost indifferent,” he says in disgust.
“Liam,” Marks’s voice interrupts whatever Liam was going to say next, cutting through the crowd. “Time to go.”
Liam waves his agreement and turns his attention to me. “I’ve been called.”
I place my hand on his shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. “You’re going to do great.”
Leaning down, he gives me a light kiss. “You’re the first one I’ll look for once the race is over.”
As Liam walks away, all I can think about is that it could be my father’s horse he’s riding, and that my father might be somewhere in this crowd. But I take a calming breath and find my seat. The smell of booze and horses fills my nose, the energy making the hairs on my arms stand up.
My eyes instinctively glance at the faces, looking for my father. While I don’t want to see him, at least if I know where he is, I can avoid him. Trying to focus on what the announcer is saying is almost impossible, my mind racing a million miles a minute. Maybe it’s not him? There must be thousands of Monroes out there.
Forcing myself to look down at the list of horses, jockeys, and statistics, I make myself reread the letters until they finally make words in my brain. Liam and Blazing Sun have great odds at four to one. The horses and their riders make their appearance before the race begins, the horses prancing gracefully in front of their fans. Some jockeys wave at the crowd while others like Liam look straight ahead, already in the race.
Before long, the horses are at the starting gate. For a single second, everyone holds their breath as they’re released, a blaze of long, strong, lean legs running with passion. After that second, yells of excitement and encouragement fill the air as well as groans and cussing as some realize they bet on the wrong team.
The announcer’s voice fades as I focus on Liam and where he is in the race
, eyes never leaving the his gold and white shirt—number seven. He passes number two then ten. Ten then picks up the pace, trying to keep up, almost leading…
Blazing Sun is now neck and neck with number ten, Morning Glory, every millisecond counting. As if the horses know that the finish line is in sight, they all run faster, none wanting to be the last but knowing there can only be one winner. The crowd holds its breath again as Blazing Sun and Morning Glory run through the finish a half-second apart.
Voices rise in excitement over the outcome. Blazing Sun and Liam take the win, with Morning Glory taking second and Knight Fire taking third. The smile on my face can’t get any bigger. Winning the Belmont Stakes will be a huge assist to his career. I can only imagine what Liam feels like as he heads towards the winner’s circle. But my smile slips as I remember who might be in the circle with him.
❖
Most of the crowd have left to celebrate or drown their sorrows. I decide to meet Liam outside the track. Hopefully, there’s less likelihood of me running into anyone from my past there.
“Hey, beautiful. What do I need to do to spend the night with you?” Liam’s teasing voice drifts from behind. I turn around, holding my jacket under my arm.
“Hmm, you sure you have the energy for that? You look pretty tired after winning the race and all.”
Liam reaches me quickly, picking me up and spinning me in the air in giant circles. My laughter is caught in the wind as I enjoy the feeling of his strong arms around me.
“Don’t worry, I’ll always have the energy for you.” He drops me to my feet, leaning in and cupping my face in his hands.
I lean forward, whispering against his lips. “That so?”
“It is.” His lips meet mine in the briefest of touches. A simple kiss but one that has deep meaning. “You ready to head home?”
Surprise flickers across my face. “Don’t you have some event to go to tonight?”
“I should, but I already told them I have other important business that I need to take care of tonight.” He reaches into his back pocket, pulling out plane tickets. “You want to leave earlier and go home?”
“Yes. Yes. Yes. Today’s Saturday, and that means Lex is making home-made pizza. Maybe we’ll make it back in time to help.” I pull a ticket from his hands, grasping it tightly. Being home would be good.
“Let’s go.” Liam sings the words as his finger take hold of my hand.
I jump up and give him another quick kiss, ready to get going. I can already taste the pizza with fresh mozzarella. It’s nice to have a place that genuinely feels like home and people that are family. I never thought I’d have that again. It’s scary at the same time because now I’ve had a taste of it, I don’t know what I’ll do if it gets taken away.
Liam and I start looking for the car. Luckily most people have left. “What kind of toppings are you going to put on the pizza this time?” Liam asks.
“You already know the answer—the only thing worth putting on. Green olives and pineapple.”
Liam’s nose wrinkles as I knew it would. “That poor pizza,” he moans.
I turn back around to answer him, walking backward. “You’d be marriage material if only you would get on the pizza bus.”
“Not happening. I guess we’re just going to have to live in sin the rest of our lives.”
“Oh, that could be fun. What specific kinds of sin are we talking about?” I inquire.
“I could tell you now and ruin the surprise, or you could walk faster, and I could show you.”
I turn back around, and my feet move a little faster with anticipation.
“Danny?” The sound of my name hits me suddenly. Like when you’re in a tunnel and a voice finally reaches you, much softer than when it first escaped the person’s mouth. But it wasn’t my name being spoken that has me stopping in my tracks; it’s the voice that spoke. I don’t move. I can’t.
Liam turns back around to see who it is, but I don’t need to. I spent the whole day avoiding my past, only for it to find me in the last second. The sound of her heels hitting the concrete alerts me that she’s heading towards us.
“Danny, is that you?” Surprise and a hint of knowing enters her voice. “It is, isn’t it? Nick told me he ran into you. I didn’t believe him, but it really is you.”
Slowly I turn around to face Holly, not sure what I’ll find. Will she hate me? Has she missed me? I take her appearance in, my eyes scanning the differences and similarities to the old Holly. If it’s possible, she’s even skinnier that she used to be—I can almost see her ribs through her sundress. The large yellow and gray hat hides half of her face, heavy make-up covering the part that is visible. I take a step forward.
“Holly.” Suddenly I lose my voice—I don’t have any more words. I’d thought over the years what I would say to both her and Nick if I ever saw them again, but just like with Nick they all fly out the window. I can tell by her face that the same is true for her. There’s no rulebook on how to handle a situation like this. Trust me, I tried to find it on Amazon. Liam says nothing as he looks between us.
“Holly, this is Liam. Liam, this is Holly, my half-sister.”
He too takes in her appearance but at least finds his voice.
“Hi, Holly. I met your brother a few weeks ago. It’s nice to meet you finally. Danny and I were just heading back to the hotel. Would you care to join us? I can get the bags while you ladies catch up and get a drink. You can ride with us if you want, and we can drop you off where you need to go on the way to the airport.”
I keep my face neutral, waiting for her to answer. Part of me wants to talk to her. To tell her about my life now and to hear about hers. Growing up, Holly looked up to me and always asked me questions; she was my shadow when I was at our father’s house, and I know me leaving must have been the hardest on her.
The other part of me still wants to keep it all in the past. Talking to her will force me to remember things I don’t want to and make me face some of my own mistakes. I should have gone back for her. Nick was fine because he’s a guy and our father needed him, but once I left, I’m sure our father turned all his hatred on her.
The options float in the air between us before curiosity gets the best of Holly. “I think that sounds like a great plan. Where’s your hotel?”
“It’s on Manchester Street and Fifth.”
“Perfect—I’m staying just down the street. I can walk back. I’ll text Nick on the way to let him know I’m not riding back with him.”
Liam looks between us again. I’m sure he’s trying to gauge my reaction. “Perfect. All right then, ladies, off we go.” He claps his hands and starts back towards the car.
Holly and I look at each other again, both questioning our sanity in doing this after over five years. The car ride back to the hotel is filled with Liam talking—asking questions, throwing in some funny stories from the day before the race started. The two of them are both excited at finding something to talk about. Both grew up in similar surroundings where you had to be able to speak, where at times it was your responsibility to come up with topics of conversation. Most days I could do that as well, but right now my mind is a mess.
We pull up to the hotel and quickly get out. Liam hands the keys over to the valet, letting him know that we won’t be long, then holds the door open for us. As we enter, Liam and Holly continue to chat, then Liam veers to the left towards the elevators while Holly and I continue straight for the bar. It’s packed, the TV showing reruns of the race. We circle the bar trying to find two seats together but with no luck at the bar, we’re left with only a little two-top table in the corner.
Thankfully the waitress shows up seconds after we sit down, and we order drinks. I have a feeling we’re going to need them. I start off with what could be an easy topic. “Where’s Nick tonight?” I ask after the drinks arrive.
She uses the straw to mix her drink as she answers, “He’s with Father tonight. They had some business after the race they needed to deal with.
I highly doubt I was welcome at that, so I’m happy I ran into you. Otherwise I’d be sitting in a room by myself.”
That doesn’t sound much like Holly—she was always the outgoing one, wanting to go and see new things. Being here would have been exciting for her. She should be out meeting people, not sitting in a room by herself. I decide it’s best to keep that opinion to myself. It’s not my place to say anything and it honestly never was.
“Congrats on your win,” she says as her nails click against the table.
“Not really my win but thank you. I would say it’s more Blazing Sun’s and Liam’s win.”
She takes a sip of her drink. “Does Liam know it was Father’s horse he rode?”
“No. I didn’t tell him my suspicions. But he’s probably already put two and two together. Why did he even get into horse racing?”
She nods, glancing at the floor. Even when we were young, she would glance at the floor when she was trying to gather her thoughts. As if it was going to give her answers. Our father used to hit her across the head when she did it, and eventually she learned never to be at a loss for words. She’s more nervous than I realized.
Her eyes bounce back to mine and she rushes out, “Can we cut to the chase? You were never one to beat around the bush, Danny. How do you feel about seeing me tonight?”
Without missing a beat because I had a feeling the question was coming, I say, “I was surprised to see you. I can’t lie and say I haven’t thought of you over the years. Sometimes I honestly thought of all of you more than I wanted to. James’s death is one of the worst things I’ve ever gone through. It still haunts me.” I swallow before continuing, “You know how horrible that man is. Why have you stayed? Why has Nick stayed? What James’s death did was give me freedom. At a cost I didn’t want to pay, but it did give me that.”
She looks at the floor again, speaking to it this time. “Not all of us can leave, Danny. Not all of us can start over. Did you miss us at all? Not Father, of course, but Nick and I?”
