Light My Heart (Crystal Shores Book 1)

by Terra Kelly

  “I don’t know, Eddie.”

  Reaching over to grab her hand, I squeezed it lightly. “We can get a new bed if that would be easier?”

  “No. That’s not necessary. I mean, are you sure you’re ready?”

  She had a point, I did just see a vision of my dead wife less than twenty-four hours ago. “I’m sure.” There was a honk from behind us. I looked up to see the light had changed to green. “Yeah, I’m definitely sure.” I was struggling to pay attention to even when a stoplight changed to green.

  “Okay, but on one condition.”

  “You and your conditions.”

  “Well…”

  “I’m not wearing pajamas.”

  It was hard not to laugh at how she stopped talking and her mouth fell to the floor. I hated to wear anything to bed. Even when I lived at home, my mom would walk in on me when I was getting up. And yes, it was embarrassing.

  “Um, okay…”

  “You know they’re overrated, right? A waste of money.”

  She sat there speechless.

  Oh, this was going to be fun.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Sarah

  “Sarah.” Kelsey threw her arms up and ran toward me.

  “Hi, Sweet Pea.” I bent down to pick her up and spun her around.

  “You came back.” She wrapped her little arms around my neck and gave me the biggest hug. “Where’d you go?”

  “Do you know about Mackinac Island yet?” She shook her head back and forth vigorously. Then proceeded to wiggle out of my arms. “Well–” I squatted down in front of her– “I guess we’ll have to go back there, eh?”

  “Yay.” She started to jump up and down. Eddie swooped in and picked her up. “I missed you, Daddy.” She rested her hand on his cheek and gave him a kiss.

  “I missed you, too.” He tapped the tip of his finger on the end of her nose. “We have a surprise.”

  She wiggled down out of his arms and started to cheer, “Presents, presents, presents.”

  “Were you a good girl?” Eddie had his hand on the truck door handle.

  “Yes, yes, yes.” Kelsey repeated as she hopped up and down.

  I wrapped my arms around my body and thought about my life at this very moment. I was so lucky to find Eddie and Kelsey at exactly the right time in my life.

  “I’m not sure I’m convinced yet,” Eddie teased.

  Kelsey stopped moving and threw out her bottom lip. “Daddy.” It looked like she was about to cry.

  “Okay, okay.” He clapped his hands together and opened the door. The moment he pulled out the big stuffed bear from the backseat, Kelsey’s eyes went the size of saucers.

  She didn’t move. Her body was rooted to the spot. So I ran over and threw myself against the stuffed animal. “What, you don’t want him?”

  “No, he’s my bear,” she cried out.

  I hopped back. “Well, you better hurry and give him a hug then. He’s feeling very lonely.”

  Kelsey ran so fast and catapulted her little body into the center of the bear’s stomach. The move caused Eddie to stumble back but he managed to get his footing before falling. “Don’t be sad,” she said to the bear and wrapped her arms around the stuffed animal.

  We spent a few more minutes giving the bear several hugs. Then we convinced Kelsey the bear was cold and needed to go inside. She wanted to help Eddie carry the gigantic toy inside. Well, it was more like Eddie carried the bear and Kelsey shouted out instructions.

  “What did you buy her this time?” Jan laughed and moved out of the way before getting plowed over by a giant bear.

  I held up the bags of candy so she could look inside. “We may have gone a little overboard.”

  “Wait, you went on the island?”

  “Yeah. We spent the day there yesterday.”

  She turned her head to the side. “Sarah, were you going to stay there?”

  I dropped my head. “I’ve heard people talk about it and thought it would be a nice change of scenery.”

  “But now you’re here.” Jan stepped closer to me and grabbed my hands.

  In my past this type of conversation would mess with my emotions. Today, something was different. Jan treated me like an adult and you could see the compassion in her eyes. I knew she only knew snippets of my past but she didn’t know the whole story about my parents. This small-town did make sure the incident at the grocery was shared with everyone.

  “Thanks to your brother.” I tried to hold in my emotions but I felt so thankful for the last thirty-six hours. The tears didn’t threaten to fall, they just released and wouldn’t stop flowing.

  She pulled me close and ran her hand up and down my back. “You and Eddie have been through so much.” Jan was one of the good guys. I knew I could trust her. I let go of some of my past memories and rested my head on her shoulder. Somehow, this beautiful soul knew how to make me feel loved.

  “It’s time for a change.” I lifted my head and wiped the tears off my cheeks.

  “It definitely is, Sweetheart.” She tucked a few strands of hair away from my face. Then she brushed her hand down the side of my face and reached down to grab my hand.

  “Thanks for being so understanding about everything.”

  “Oh Sweetie, there was no stopping that man.” She squeezed my hand. “He was on a mission.”

  I noticed Eddie and Kelsey running around in the living room. He was chasing after his daughter with his fingers wiggling back and forth. “Yeah, I’m thankful for that, too.”

  “Sarah, I heard what happened at Marv’s.” I dropped my head. “Hey–” she grabbed both my hands– “I want you to know you can talk to me anytime, day or night.”

  For so long I was always alone. Not anymore though. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “You don’t have to say anything.”

  “Thank you, Jan.” That seemed like enough at the moment.

  She tugged me toward the kitchen and made a pot of coffee. I was sitting in the chair at the table when a hand wrapped around my shoulder. “I believe these are yours.” Eddie handed me the box of chocolates.

  This night just continued to get better and better.

  It was time to switch up my emotions though.

  As I looked up into his angelic face and grabbed the box of chocolates from his outstretched hands. I knew exactly what I was feeling.

  It involved a bed and my sexy firefighter laying next to me.

  “You sure about this?” I tucked one corner of the sheet under the mattress.

  “More than sure.” Eddie walked around to my side of the bed.

  His room was a decent size. The cal-king only took up half the space, but the sleigh bed was the focal point. When I walked into the room, my eyes were drawn to his bed. It’s possible my eyes couldn’t stop looking at the purple duvet surrounded by several pillows because I knew what was coming.

  “Is that your favorite artist?” I pointed to the two paintings above the bed.

  “Let’s discuss them another day.” He reached forward and wrapped his fingers around my waist. That comment was obviously code for my wife picked them out. I didn’t mean to sigh it just sorta slipped out. “Sarah, ignore everything in here.” He stepped closer to me.

  “I can’t do that, Eddie. Plus, they’re special to you..”

  “Okay.” He grabbed my hand and tugged me toward the door. “Come on.” As we walked by the dresser he reached down and grabbed a set of sheets from the bottom drawer.

  “Eddie, what are you doing?”

  He didn’t say anything as he led me down the stairway, through the kitchen, then we went down another set of stairs. This was my first time going to the basement. When we reached the bottom step I took a moment to glance around the room. It was a huge open space. There was a bar in the far-left corner. One couch sitting in center of the room. Otherwise the space was pretty empty.

  “Here.” He walked over to a cabinet set into the wall. Then he grabbed a blanket and handed it to me. “W
e have a sleeper couch in the sectional. You never know how many people will want to sleep over all at once.”

  “Always good to be prepared.” I walked over and started to help him pull out the bed.

  “It’s never been used.” Eddie fanned out the bottom sheet and I grabbed the end to tuck in the corners.

  “So we get to christen it?” Again my mouth talked before I had a chance to think about what I would say. “I mean–”

  I may have surprised not only Eddie but also myself with my quick tongue.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Eddie

  “Christen it, huh?” I dropped the sheet and walked around to her side of the couch.

  “Well, uh…” Sarah fumbled with the edge of the sheet.

  I reached forward and grabbed her hands. “Hey, I can just hold you like last night. I would never want to pressure you into anything you’re not comfortable with.”

  “No!” She lifted her head and almost yelled the words.

  “Tell me what you want?”

  She took a step back. “It’s nothing. Well, I mean…I want you.” She dropped her head and laced her fingers together. “After seeing your room I need to know if you want to be with me?” She glanced back at the bar. Then she turned and headed over to the small space. I had several bottles of liquor unopened and stored on the shelves. She reached for a bottle of bourbon and held up a shot glass. “Want one?”

  “Sure.” I rested my arms on the wood surface. The question she asked was running around in my mind. I had too many memories of my wife on every surface of this house.

  “Yes.” I grabbed the shot glass full of caramel liquor.

  “What?”

  “Yes, I want you.” I threw my head back and drained the contents of the glass.

  I set the shot glass down on the bar and noticed Sarah’s cheeks change to a darker shade of red. “Good.” She followed suit and drank every last drop in the small glass.

  I reached over and grabbed her hand. “Are you sure?”

  “What? Yeah, of course.”

  “Then why are we both drinking alcohol?”

  She didn’t say anything for several seconds. When she spoke her voice actually cracked. “It used to always help me to not feel the pain during the moment.”

  My heart sank at her words. Holy fuck, sex equated to pain for her. How was I supposed to be that guy who showed her how beautiful it could be between a man and a woman? Was I ready for the challenge? I resisted the urge to pour another shot. Instead, I walked behind the bar and reached for her hand. We walked over to the bed and I turned to face her. “Do you trust me, Sarah?”

  “Yes, of course I do.”

  I wrapped my fingers around her waist and pulled her closer. I could feel her whole body shake. “Sarah?”

  “I do–” she rested her hands on my chest– “I’m just scared.” She placed her finger over my lips. “But not of you. I–” she dropped her head– “feel safe with you.”

  This beautiful soul. She deserved so much more. “Let’s have a stop word?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I don’t want you to feel pressured. If at any moment you do, you say the word.”

  “Um, okay. Blue?”

  “Blue.”

  We stood there staring at each other for several long seconds. Then she surprised me by leaning up on her tippy-toes and kissing me. I had an inner battle going in my head about when I should finally kiss her, she nixed that inner monologue by making the first move.

  “Thank you.” She kissed me lightly several times and let her feet fall flat onto the floor.

  I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and let go of one of her hands. We moved together even closer to the edge of the couch.

  The woman kept surprising me as she fisted her hands around the hem of my sweatshirt and lifted it up over my head. My white cotton tee dragged along with it leaving me standing there half-naked. I could hear her inhale sharply. It was almost as if she was on autopilot as she reached forward to unbutton my jeans. I wrapped my hands around hers.

  “What are you doing?” She honestly looked confused.

  “This isn’t how it should be.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Let me show you.” I curled my hand around the back of her neck and brought her closer. My eyes locked onto the speckles of gold in her stunning blue eyes. I kissed each eyelid. Slowly, I kissed a path down the bridge of her nose, onto each cheek, her chin, and finally her lips. I shivered the moment her fingers touched my exposed skin. “Just let go,” I purred beside her ear and kissed the sweet spot behind her ear.

  “Eddie.” Her body started to relax in my arms.

  “Just let yourself feel, Sarah.” I kissed her soft lips and then lifted her in my arms and carefully placed her body onto the bed. I knelt down on the floor and rubbed my hands up and down her legs. “Don’t think. Just feel.” I traced my fingers down over her blouse and unfastened one button at a time. Her body shook at my touch. I dragged my fingers down over her exposed skin and moved them back and forth over the waist band of her leggings.

  Her breathing increased and I worried she would hyperventilate. “Sarah?” I splayed my hand over her belly and waited for her to respond. She just moaned. “I’ll make tonight only about you, okay?”

  Her eyes flew open. “What do you mean?”

  “You were made to believe sex was an act for the man, right? It wasn’t to give you pleasure?” I stood and walked to the other side of the bed and slid down beside her.

  “Maybe.”

  “That’s not what sex is about.” I moved onto my side and pulled her closer to me. “I want to show you how special it can be.”

  She traced my lips with the tip of her finger. “Show me.”

  I bent down and kissed in between her breasts and reached back to unfasten her bra. She was combing her hands through my hair. Each movement made it harder and harder for me to focus. I closed my eyes and forced myself to not make this about me. It was all about Sarah. I dragged my finger over one taunt nipple and glanced up at to make sure she was doing okay. She was bitting her lip and moaning. It was time to move down a little further. I moved my fingers back and forth over the waistband of her leggings and then pushed them down over her hips.

  Sarah’s eyes flew open. “Want me to stop?” I lifted my hands up.

  “No, please don’t.” She reached for my hand and set it back on her leggings.

  I didn’t say a word. I slid the leggings down over her sweet ass and threw them behind me. What I wanted was staring right at me. The only thing holding me back were a thin pair of pink lace panties. I moved my hand up and down the inside of her legs. Then I looped my fingers around the edges of the panties and pulled them down. Fuck. If this was about her, she was about to be very happy. I pushed her legs apart and glanced up at Sarah. Her eyes were closed and her hands were out to the side. I noticed her knuckles were white because her hands were fisted into the comforter tightly.

  “Eddie?”

  “Yeah, Baby?” I couldn’t take my eyes off of her.

  “Please, I want more.”

  I dropped my head and inhaled. She smelled so fucking delicious.

  “Oh fuck, Eddie.” She fisted her hands in my hair and pushed my head down.

  That was all I needed. I dropped my head and dragged my tongue over her clitoris. Then without thinking I lightly bit down. Sarah cried out and pushed her body closer to me. I pushed two fingers inside her and continued to nip and suck her delicious pussy.

  Suddenly, Sarah screamed and threw a pillow over her face. I dragged my tongue over her heated flesh one more time because I was a greedy bastard. She threw the pillow off. “Eddie, holy shit.”

  I leaned up onto my elbow. “Should I stop.”

  “Well, I want to say no, but I just need a small break.”

  I inched up her body and kissed her one more time.

  This gorgeous woman had managed to turn my world upside-down.
/>   Chapter Twenty-Four

  Sarah

  The moment Eddie’s head dropped in between my legs I actually felt excited. “Oh shit, Eddie.”

  He lifted his head. “Should I stop?”

  “No.” I pushed his head back down

  His tongue touched my clit and my body flew off the bed. No one had ever made me feel this way before. As Eddie continued to nip and suck, something happened, an intense feeling ran through my body. It was the most amazing emotion I had ever experienced, but then it ended and every nerve was on high-alert. He continued to drag his tongue up and down but the feeling was too intense. “Holy shit! Wait!”

  He turned his head to the side and had this devious grin on his face. “What’s wrong?”

  “I…well, I need a break.”

  “You do, huh?”

  “Plus, I’m over making tonight about me.” I sat up and pushed him back onto the bed. “Oh, and that needs to happen again soon.”

  “That can be arranged.” He wrapped his mouth around my nipple.

  “Fuck. What am I going to do with you?” I moved my body back and wrapped my fingers around the waistband of his jeans.

  “Whatever you want to do.” He let his back fall onto the mattress and threw his arms out to the side. “This is your night and I’m all yours.”

  “All mine, eh?” I ran my hands up down his bare chest. “Sounds dangerous.”

  “Promises, promises.” He wrapped his hands around my wrists and pulled me close. “First, I need you to kiss me.”

  Eddie had somehow helped me to see sex can be fun and feel damn amazing. I brushed my finger down the side of his face. When I first arrived in Crystal Shores I planned to stay for just a few months. As I stared into his eyes the word forever ran through my mind. Suddenly my negative thoughts surfaced and I wondered if I was worthy of all Eddie had to offered.

  “Hey,” he whispered. “Whatever’s going on up here.” He lightly tapped his finger on my temple. “Let it go.”

  I sat up and closed my eyes. Naked or not, I needed a moment to breathe. My yoga practice had taught me how to let go of the negative energy. After a few minutes I felt nervous to open my eyes. Then I saw his face. His beautiful smile. I felt strong again. “Am I leaving you hanging?” I inched a little further down his legs and wrapped my fingers around the button on his jeans.