I Wish You Happy: A Novel

by Kerry Anne King

  I look around the office where we sit to give report. It’s cluttered, as usual, with paper and binders and sticky notes. There’s a stack of faxes to go through.

  “I’m going to be an animal therapist.”

  Cor stares like I’ve grown an extra head. “Like—a dog whisperer? Or one of those people who solves the behavior problems of cats? I read about a lady who does therapy with chickens. Can you make a living at that? In the city, maybe, but I don’t know about here—”

  “Cor. First, I really don’t need to worry about making a living, at least for a bit. Second, I’ll be using therapy animals to help people. I’ve already got two sweet cats lined up to live here at Valley View. And permission to bring a dog in for visits. So, like I said, I’ll still be around.”

  I can see the wheels spinning as she tries to process what I’m telling her. “That’s a thing?”

  “It’s a thing. I’ll be training therapy animals, too, and placing them with people who need them. A matchmaking service for animals and humans.”

  She’s still struggling to take this all in. “Where? Out of that little house you rent? What will the landlord say? Where will you find all the animals? Who is going to help you?”

  “I’ve got it all sorted out. Mason helped me find the perfect place. Nice little house with a big heated barn. We’re going to start a shelter. I’ll work with the animals to train them, and if they’ve got the right temperament, we’ll match them up with the people who need them. I’m starting now, but I’ve signed up to take an animal-assisted-therapy training so I can get certified and learn all the ins and outs. Cole will help.”

  Corinne grasps on to the mention of Cole as the first reasonable thing I’ve said in the last fifteen minutes. “You’re still seeing him, then? What does he think of all this?”

  “The delicious Cole is totally on board. He’s making plans to stop doing the crisis thing and shift to private practice counseling. He says he might want to borrow my animals. It will be all right. I promise. If it isn’t, I can always get another nursing job.”

  “I’m not worried,” she says, tears welling up in her eyes. “I’m sad. I’ll miss you. Whoever replaces you here won’t be like you at all.”

  I think very carefully before I speak, because what I’m about to say still feels strange to me, even though in my bones I’m sure I’m right.

  “We’re friends, though, aren’t we?”

  “Of course. How can you even ask?”

  “So, if we’re real friends and not just work friends, then we’ll see each other outside of work. You want to come see the new property on Saturday? You can help me figure out where to put things. And I need help buying furniture for the house.”

  She lights up like I’ve given her the secret to eternal youth or something. “Really? You want me to do that?”

  “Of course.”

  Knowing what’s coming, I take a deep breath before her arms go around me and my face gets squished against her bosom. “I love you, Rae,” she says. “You know that, right?”

  I make choking noises, and she releases me, laughing. Both of us wipe tears from our eyes.

  “Oh my God. Look at the time! You get the abbreviated report tonight,” she says. I listen with half my attention as she launches into a dizzying summary of the residents’ status. My mind drifts, touching down lightly on one subject and another before drifting into the warm fuzziness of sleep.

  I jerk awake to silence.

  A blurry Corinne watches me, the corners of her mouth tucked up in what I have to call a smirk.

  “What?” I blink and rub my eyes, trying to get her all the way in focus.

  “You’ve been out for five minutes. Tell Cole he needs to leave you alone and let you sleep.”

  I pull the report binder toward me and open it as an excuse to hide my face. “I have a new batch of kittens.” This is true. What Cole and I choose to do between feedings is nobody’s business but our own.

  “Sure,” Cor says. “Feeding kittens. Is that what the kids are calling it these days?”

  “I choose not to answer that.”

  She gets up and stretches. “You are running very late, Nurse Rae. Better get to work—you don’t want to get fired before you get the chance to quit.”

  Before I can protest that she’s the one who held me up, she envelops me in another hug. “Hey, speaking of kittens, how is that Wish cat?”

  “I gave him to Nancy.”

  “You gave him to Nancy. Of course you did. Because that makes every bit as much sense as everything else you’ve said tonight. I’d better go get some sleep; I think I’m hallucinating.”

  I grin at her. “Sweet dreams.”

  When she gets to the doorway, I call her back. “Cor?”

  “Yes?”

  “This is a friendship, right? I mean the real thing. Not just work friends or sympathy friends?”

  Her lips curve up in a smile that makes her look, to me, like an angel. “We’ve always been friends, you crazy girl. You just didn’t see it. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  She blows a kiss in my direction, and I catch it in my hand and hold it fast. “I wish you happy,” I whisper to her retreating back, and I smile, believing my wish will come true.

  EPILOGUE

  Rae Chatworth

  846 Windy Lea Road

  Colville, WA

  Dear Rae,

  I have thought about calling you but can’t bring myself to do it. I owe you my life, and I’m not a fan of owing anybody anything. Especially that. Really, I just want you to know that I am still alive. Tom and I are talking again—mostly online at this point—but we might take a vacation together next month and see how that goes. He’s ever hopeful, and it’s infectious. Not that I’m an optimist, not yet, but maybe there’s hope for that as well.

  I’ve progressed to a cane, and the physical therapist thinks I’ll be walking without assistance in another month or two. My mental health therapist (yes, I have one) shakes her head a lot, but she looks a little more relaxed than she did the first couple of weeks I came in to see her.

  That’s it, I guess. I wanted you to know I’m still alive and maybe even moving toward happiness of a sort. I forgive you for saving me.

  Oh hell, I’m grateful. My love to your parents and the kitten.

  Be well,

  Katya

  P.S. I am volunteering at one of the local shelters, meaning I brought an elderly cat home for some special care. I doubt he’ll be returning anytime soon. I blame you for this.

  AFTERWORD

  My life was personally touched by suicide when my coworker and friend Jamie chose to end his life. He was in a very dark place at the time he died, unable to see how much he was loved for his beautiful soul, brilliant mind, kindness, uniqueness, and delightfully quirky humor.

  If you are feeling the call of suicide, please know that even though you feel unloved and alone with your darkness, you are not alone. I urge you to keep fighting—for your sake, and for the sake of those who love you. There is hope. There is help. Even if you believe you’ve already tried every possible alternative and there’s nothing left, you may be only a hairsbreadth away from finding what you need.

  Reach out to a friend, call your local community mental health center, or connect with one of the resources below.

  National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

  Phone: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

  Website: www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

  Crisis Text Line

  Text “HELLO” to 741741

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  The idea for I Wish You Happy popped into my head during a late-night drive from the airport to home, born of a fortuitous intersection of sleep deprivation, a face-to-face conversation with my editor, and a random bicyclist I passed on the street. Now that the book is finished, though, I realize that tendrils of the plot and characters connect with a multitude of hidden nooks and crannies in my psyche.

  I owe thanks for this book to every friend
, client, or random stranger who ever shared their emotions with me, and especially to all of the brave people I’ve been privileged to assist during times of crisis. All of you are in my heart forever.

  To my Viking—who not only believes in me and my stories but also has the courage to confront some of my pet plot twists and ideas—I love you. This book in particular was a partnership effort, from your input on the concept all the way through the treacherous minefield of your oh-so-important continuity read.

  Susan Spann, thank you for being my kitten consultant, my critique partner, and always and forever my soul sister.

  Kristina Martin and Janette Buba, I am grateful beyond measure for your willingness to read and critique under the tight timeline.

  Love and thanks to Heather and Alex and all of the other friends who have been supportive and there for me during challenging times.

  Mary Gaughin—thank you for introducing me to the world of orbs, and for giving me the inspiration for Tana. Beverly Scherette—I promised a character based on you, and I’m eternally glad I did. I owe you for Corinne, may she be forever and eternally happy.

  Last, but never least, I want to acknowledge all of the clinicians out there doing crisis work. I know what it costs you. Never forget that your work is invaluable and makes differences you may never see.

  BOOK CLUB QUESTIONS

  1. Would you ever open your home to someone the way Rae does? Why do you think this might or might not be a good idea?

  2. What do you think about Rae’s eventual decision to cut her ties with Katya? Do you think that was a selfish or a healthy decision?

  3. Why do you think Rae felt such a strong need to care for animals? Do animals often stand in for human relationships in your life, or in the lives of people you know?

  4. Why do you think some people find it easier to relate to animals than to other people?

  5. Have you ever met anybody who shares Rae’s problem with watches and cell phone batteries? Have you ever experienced an event that was out of the ordinary, such as the orbs in Tana’s pictures?

  6. Both Rae and Katya are deeply affected by the conflict between what they want out of life and what their parents want for them. Do you struggle with the expectations your family has for you? What about the expectations you have for your own children?

  7. Rae has difficulty finding a balance in relationships—what she calls “needing a dimmer switch.” What is your experience with friendships? Is this balance easy or hard for you?

  8. Why do you think Cole does the work he does? Is it penance, as Rae believes, or something else?

  9. Many people make wishes—on a falling star, before blowing out birthday candles, et cetera. Have you ever made a wish that came true? If so, do you think this is because wishes translate to actions, or because there is some special power in wishing?

  10. Rae is able to shift to doing work for which she is perfectly suited. If money was not an issue, what life work would you pursue?

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Photo © 2012 Diane Maehl

  Kerry Anne King is the author of the international bestselling novel Closer Home. Licensed both as an RN and a mental health counselor, she draws on her experience working in the medical and mental health fields to explore themes of loss, grief, and transformation. Kerry lives in a little house in the big woods of the inland northwest with her Viking, three cats, a dog, and a yard full of wild turkey and deer. She also writes fantasy and mystery novels as Kerry Schafer. You can learn more about Kerry and her books at her website, www.kerryanneking.com, or by becoming part of her newsletter community at http://bit.ly/kerryanneking.