Soul Forgotten (Blue Star Series Book 1)

by Laura Winter

  Had she really just saved me from the embarrassment of telling my best friend that in reality I had been way too nervous to make a move? The way she looked at me with those fiery blue eyes said that she knew I was too nervous, but didn’t care letting Glitch think I was the one who made the move.

  How did this perfect girl exist? And what the hell did I do to get lucky enough to have her still hanging around me? Whatever it was, I’d do it a million times over again for another kiss like that.

  ◆◆◆

  I did my best to focus during the lab as Glitch and I took turns looking into the microscope, but sleeplessness was catching up with me. I think we were doing something about the life cycle of a cell, but I was pretty much useless at this point. Thankfully, my genius best friend had a clue.

  “Screw it, just let me do it. You’re so out of it,” he said, pushing my face away from the microscope.

  “Sorry,” I replied sheepishly.

  I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and glanced around. The teacher was busy helping other students with his back facing us so I pulled out my phone.

  Clara’s text lit up the screen. What are you doing?

  I saw you fifteen minutes ago in history which means I’m now in science lab. What are you doing?

  I laughed quietly as she typed back almost immediately.

  Not sitting in English.

  I perked up as I heard a tapping noise at the door behind us. I turned to see Clara looking through the window, motioning for me to come out in the hallway. Glitch turned to see what I was looking at, laughing to himself.

  “That girl is going to be trouble, isn’t she?” he said, glancing around quickly. He gestured to the door. “Go out there. I’ll say you went to the bathroom. Just be glad I actually like you two together.”

  “Thanks, dude,” I replied, making my way into the hallway. To my surprise, it was completely empty. “Clara?”

  I took a few steps down the hallway when Clara’s hands reached out and pulled me into a gap between the lockers. She spun me around and pushed me against the wall, pressing her body into mine as she kissed me. I’m pretty sure I lost all motor function and forgot to move because she grabbed my hands and wrapped them around her back. I felt her hand reach around my neck and slide into my hair, pulling me closer. Before I knew it, she pulled her head away, smiling just inches from my face as I stood there, completely stunned.

  “Hi,” she laughed, still using her bodyweight to keep me against the wall.

  “Hi. What was that for?” I asked, trying to focus on her cool touch to keep my face from getting red. Public displays always made me uncomfortable, but damn I could do that again.

  Clara shrugged. “Glitch crashed our party this morning and I couldn’t stop thinking about Friday night.” She moved her palm to my cheek, her touch like ice. I guess I failed at not letting my face turn red. Clara laughed again. “Did I make you nervous?”

  “Just a little bit. Do it again,” I said, this time pulling her into me.

  I’m not sure where the confidence came from, but I didn’t care now. Clara made me happy, and I just wanted to hold her closer. She finally leaned back, tucking her violet hair behind her ears as she bit her lip. Now her face was red.

  “Let’s do that again some time,” she said, winking at me.

  In a flash, she spun on her heels and walked back toward English class.

  I couldn’t move for a full minute, but I finally ducked back into class without the teacher noticing.

  Glitch looked at me as I slid into my seat next to him, his eyes narrowed. “Did you two just make out in the middle of the hallway?”

  “What?” I asked, feeling my cheeks flush again.

  He rolled his eyes with a grin. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Who are you and what have you done with my awkward best friend?”

  15

  Clara

  I know I should have told Nate about my powers, but after two weeks it felt like I missed the chance. Then another week passed and soon it was early October. I couldn’t say anything now, especially because I didn’t want to ruin what we had. How do you even tell someone that you can’t remember the first eighteen years of your life?

  But if anyone would have understood, it was Nate. So why couldn’t I bring myself to tell him the truth? Maybe because there was still the chance he’d look at me differently. How can you trust someone who can hear all of the secrets in your head? I guess I could have been blowing all of this out of proportion, but at this point, it was easier to keep quiet than try to explain myself. It’s not like there was an explanation for all the questions he would have.

  For the time being, I enjoyed what Nate and I could share. When I was with him, I could ignore the nagging emptiness I felt about my past. I was no closer to an answer for my missing memories, The Complex, or the Blue Star. Months of research in the library felt like a waste now.

  By the middle of October, people had pretty much stopped paying attention to me entirely as I became just another social outcast with Nate and Glitch. Everyone had turned their focus back to the ridiculous volleyball rivalry match. Nate tried to explain the charm of the game, but the only positive was a late start at school.

  If the teachers had any ounce of care before this week, they definitely didn’t on Friday. They did make attendance mandatory if you wanted to go to the game, but most of the classes were arts and crafts or free reading.

  If I had been given the choice, I would have stayed at House. Waking up with a headache was unpleasant enough, but I knew it could only get worse. If previous me had left a note saying I couldn’t control my powers when I had a headache, being in a gym full of people was the worst situation to be in.

  Somehow Nate and Glitch convinced me to brave the day. We pushed our desks to face each other while the students in front helped Ashley make posters for the gym. Mrs. Roberts had left for a bathroom break over twenty minutes ago, and I’m pretty sure she forgot about us or just fell asleep in the teacher’s lounge.

  Did I do something wrong? Why isn’t she talking?

  Nate’s thought came through as my wall slipped. I glanced over to see him staring at me, a concerned look on his face as he studied my hands. I absentmindedly tugged at the sleeves of his old sweatshirt, my headphones still stuck in my ears to distract me from the pain of the headache. I found more comfort in Nate’s sweatshirt and playlist than in my own stuff. A wave of nausea hit me and I tried to pull my knees up into the desk, struggling to get them to fit.

  Nate reached over and grabbed my hand through the sleeve. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, sorry. I just have a headache… there’s a lot of people and it makes me nervous for the noise,” I replied, sliding my desk closer so I could lean my head on his shoulder. The music was loud enough, so I’m sure he could hear me playing his favorite song.

  Mason Jar. Smallpools.

  “Don’t worry, C,” Glitch chimed in, throwing a paper airplane at me. “I bet the game doesn’t go more than thirty minutes. You really messed with QB’s head that first day. Now the whole team sucks and it’s your fault.”

  I caught it and threw it back. “Well, I was the one who ended up with a smoothie in the face, so I think I was the real loser there.”

  I reached over and poked Nate in the ribs, trying to convince him, and myself, that I would be okay. He smiled and kissed the top of my head, sending butterflies spinning in my stomach, though that might have been the nausea again. Or maybe it was the soft whisper of voices I heard with each throb of pain in my neck.

  I pushed off my pizza to Glitch who was more than happy for the extra food. At least in the cafeteria I could hug my knees without getting stuck in a desk. If only making myself smaller would help. I was a walking time bomb with this headache, and everything in my body screamed at me to give up and go back to House.

  Nate continued to watch me carefully, hovering in the corner of my eye. It distracted me long enough for Glitch to try to tip me out of my seat. I hopped
up to keep from falling.

  “Hey!”

  “Come on, Nervous Nellie. Let’s go find our seats,” he said, nudging me. I stumbled back into Nate who balanced me, taking his side on my left as Glitch sandwiched me on my right.

  If only my two bodyguards could prevent the real problem.

  16

  Nate

  Glitch and I cleared a path through the crowd of students as we made our way to the highest row, trying to stay away from the big group of people. Clara had reluctantly removed her headphones, but with the loud speakers and screaming kids, I figured that wouldn’t last long.

  Even with her trying to joke, I could tell she wasn’t actually okay. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and leaned into her, letting my fingers play with the ends of her hair as she kept her head lowered. Glitch and I exchanged a glance but he shrugged it off. She’d had a few headache days like this in the past but they usually went away later. Our distraction didn’t seem to work today.

  And Ashley wasn’t going to make the situation any better, her sights set for where we were sitting. If Clara was already in a bad mood, a tiff with Ashley was not going to end well. Eliot trailed by a few steps, looking nervous about whatever his girlfriend had in store. Maybe he was more concerned with the fact he’d have to fight off two giants now. I made sure Ashley didn’t have any projectiles to throw as she stomped up and planted herself in front of Clara.

  “Get out of our seats, freak,” Ashley snapped.

  Clara didn’t look up. “I didn’t see your name on them.”

  “I’m sorry?” Ashley growled as Eliot’s eyes widened in horror.

  Clara’s glare turned upwards as her hands gripped the seat. “I’d rethink that ridiculous idea of yours before I shove you down these steps. I’m staying here with my best friend and boyfriend, so I think you should move along before I shove that poster up your—“

  “Okay,” Eliot butted in, gripping Ashley by the shoulders as he steered her away. “We’ll find some other seats.”

  I stared in shock. Why was Clara threatening Ashley both scary and incredibly hot? Is that bad?

  Oh, shit. She just called me her boyfriend.

  That was the first time she had said that about us. She wanted to date me. This was real.

  Holy crap, now what do I do?

  “Aw, you called me your best friend,” Glitch said dramatically, clutching his chest.

  “You’re my only friend, idiot,” she said, shaking her head with a smile. As Clara turned toward me, Glitch made another dramatic gesture at me as if it would help me not freak out. She chewed the inside of her cheek. “Sorry, I know we didn’t exactly talk about it, but… I just thought…”

  I felt the smile creep over my lips. Screw being afraid of public displays. This perfect girl called me her boyfriend, and every part of me wanted her to be my girlfriend. I wrapped my hand around her head and pulled her into my kiss.

  “Gross. Get a room,” Glitch groaned.

  Clara’s cheeks were a bright pink as she pulled away from me, and that smile made me melt. That was my girlfriend; purple hair, wearing my sweatshirt, and those blue eyes that made everything else in this world disappear. A brief look of confusion flashed across her face but she wiped it away quickly with another smile as she curled into my side.

  Glitch reached around us and stole the bag of popcorn at my feet. “Yeah, you’re welcome for setting you up.”

  She elbowed him before curling into my side, gripping me tightly. I didn’t mind because it gave me something better to focus on than the game. It was a nightmare out there. West was horrible, and it was almost more painful to let the game continue. After a time out and an uncharacteristic lull in crowd noise, I heard a crack of thunder outside the gym. It was loud enough to send the bleachers shaking, even with the huge number of people sitting on it.

  I glanced down to the entrances as more people crowded into the gym, shaking rain off their clothes and umbrellas. I hadn’t realized a storm was rolling in.

  Clara seemed to perk up in attention, suddenly focused on what was happening around us as she sat up and looked around nervously. As the lights started to flicker above us, she tensed, reaching back to grab my hand. Another flash and rumbling thunder echoed around the gym, knocking the power out. As the principal tried to use a megaphone over the screaming crowd, Clara’s grip tightened.

  “We need to get out of here, now.”

  She shot out of her seat, yanking Glitch and I out of the bleachers with incredible strength. If I hadn’t been prepared, she might have had enough strength to pull my arm out of socket. She shoved her way down the mass of people as she tugged us behind her. Glass shattered overhead, knocking a few lights to the ground but luckily not injuring anyone as they crashed on the gym floor.

  Someone’s hand smacked my cheek, knocking me off balance and deeper into the crowd. I watched Glitch being pulled away from us, caught in the mass of people heading for the east door.

  Shit, not us. Clara’s hand was missing from my grip. I looked around at the thinning crowd, trying to figure out if she had made it out of the gym. She was taller than most people here so if she was with Glitch, I would have seen her. No purple hair to my right either, so where could she be?

  I finally spotted her as the mass of people had mostly evacuated, though even with the small number of people, the storm had almost doubled in echoing thunder. She stood near the middle of the gym, staring up at a rafter that was slowly breaking loose.

  “Clara!”

  She didn’t react to my scream, still staring up as the rafter slid further and further down the wall. Her hands lifted, almost like she was going to try to catch the beam, but she barely had five seconds before she’d be crushed.

  I couldn’t let that happen, and I had a way to save her. I sprinted forward as the ceiling broke loose, tackling her and pulling her into the shadows as the rafter crashed down right where she had been standing.

  As we moved through the darkness, I felt my nerves growing again. I had to save her, but that meant exposing my powers. What would she think of me now?

  17

  Clara

  Nate’s grip tightened as blackness surrounded us, the cold, empty air rushing by as he tried to find a safe place to get us out of the shadows. I couldn’t focus on him at the moment, nor the fact that he had just exposed his powers to me. My head was pounding harder than it ever had before, amplified by my failed attempt at using my powers to hold up the gym ceiling. But if I couldn’t keep it together just a little longer, I would risk having an outburst in the middle of a shadow.

  He finally found an empty locker room, shoving me out of the depths before flying out in the opposite direction. I slid along the tile floor, my back cracking against the shower walls as Nate hit the opposite end, sprawling to the ground with a groan. I shoved my head into my knees, fighting the urge to throw up, pass out, or explode at the same time.

  But beyond the echoing of my own headache and voices that were screaming at me, Nate’s thoughts spun wildly, making everything worse.

  She hates me. She’s going to be terrified. I just showed her I had the power to control the shadows and she’s freaking out. Why did this have to happen? Everything was going so well and now she knows I’m a freak.

  “Clara?” he asked, his voice gentle and hesitant. I could feel him trying to keep his distance yet still check on me, worried that I was terrified of him.

  The truth was so much worse.

  He thought he had just revealed his powers to me, but I was the real enemy in this situation. I had known for months and not once had I told him what I was capable of. Only, I couldn’t get those words out now. I couldn’t even keep my own thoughts straight, let alone block the voices that were screaming in my head. The Blue Star was tormenting me, begging me to give in.

  “Please, just—“ I blurted, nearly shouting at the voices to shut up and inadvertently telling Nate to do so in the process. It wasn’t his fault, but being this close to
losing control made me dangerous. I choked down the urge to puke and curse, letting the tears of pain soak my jeans as I finally sobbed out the words. “Quiet. My headache.”

  I could feel him sit back in confusion, not entirely sure why I wasn’t afraid of him or worried about the shadows that should have terrified me. Actually, being inside his shadow had been a relief, even if just for a brief moment. But then his thoughts turned just like I knew they would, wondering how I could be so calm after what he had done.

  “Stop —” I whispered, pausing for a second. There would be no going back, now. This would be the end of normal, as if I could ever claim to be normal. “Stop thinking. I can hear your thoughts and I’m on the verge of blowing up this locker room if I can’t get rid of this headache.”