by Laura Winter
I read over the words again. “The Blue Star and the Cold Soul are the same thing? They’re replacing my soul?”
Nate nodded. “You didn’t just forget your past. The Blue Star erased it.”
I clenched my jaw. “It’s consuming my soul so it can fill the space with the Cold Soul.”
Nate just hung his head, thoughts of shame running wild in his head. But I wasn’t mad at him, I was upset with House for hiding this from me. Did he think I would give up? Feel defeated? Or maybe I was upset with myself for believing the voices again. That’s how I ended up in this mess to begin with. Protection? It was too good to be true.
I crumpled the paper in my hand, the desk behind Nate splintering under the weight of my mind. Nate didn’t flinch, and House didn’t fight back.
“Why the hell wouldn’t you let him tell me about this?” I shouted up at House. He didn’t respond.
I let my frustration spill out of me, screaming as the mirror in the bathroom shattered, followed by the light overhead. Glass showered down around me as I threw my fist into the bed as I stood. The legs cracked underneath, sending the frame crashing into the floor.
House still didn’t respond. I spun to face Nate who hadn’t moved from his spot. He didn’t even look surprised.
I gripped my fists. “Why aren’t you scared of me? Why aren’t you afraid of what I’m becoming? You’ve read the note, and I’ve almost killed you twice. Why are you just standing there?” I spit as I yelled, hating every word that came out of my mouth.
Nate looked up at me, shaking his head. “What part of ‘always forever’ do you not understand? Regardless of what you think is happening to you, I’m not letting you do this alone. You are everything to me, and you can’t keep pushing me out.”
My shoulders sank. I knew he was right. It was so much easier to push him away, but it was so lonely.
“Nate, I thought I was protecting you. I can’t lose you. Please don’t give up on me.”
He sighed. “I’m not going away that easily.”
I surveyed the mess I had made of my room. I had been in control of the destruction this time. I had done this on purpose. What would become of me when I couldn’t hold back? What would happen to the people around me?
Then I looked at Nate. He was grounding me from the Blue Star, and more than that, he was saving me from myself.
I stepped closer and wrapped my arm around his waist, leaning my head on his chest as his heartbeat filled my mind. Relief washed over me when he put his arms around my shoulders and pulled me tighter. Flicking my fingers, I turned on my iPod and let the song play through the stereo.
Soldier. Firewoodisland.
38
Nate
We spent the next couple of weeks between researching in the library and training. Clara was afraid of using any of her powers for too long, so a lot of her time was spent in the library. She stayed clear of the book we found in the desk drawer but went over all of her notes with meticulous focus, hoping she might find something we missed.
She did her best to let me in every time her headaches got worse, and nearly every time the Blue Star was somewhere nearby. Glitch even took it home once and it still ended up in her pocket.
Dad had gotten used to me staying over at Clara’s every other night, but I don’t think he was terribly thrilled about it. He did make sure to extent his invite again for Christmas when she came over for dinner one night. He was happy she agreed, reminding me that my mom would be home for the first time in a couple years and was excited to meet Clara.
Great, at least Mom keeps in touch with Dad.
Late Friday night, when most teens would be out partying or on vacation, Clara and I were still in the library. She was up on the second floor picking through another shelf while I sat on the stairs, flipping through a conspiracy-filled book about witches and supernatural beings.
I jumped as a book flew over my head and crashed into the wall across the room. I looked up to see Clara banging her head on the bookshelf.
“Headache?” I asked, standing up quickly. We had emergency procedures for that now.
She groaned. “No, I’m just frustrated.”
I relaxed my shoulders, checking my phone to see we were well into the early hours of Saturday. Sleep was definitely needed at this point. I climbed the stairs to stand with her, running my hand over her shoulders. Ever since that first training day, things had been a little strained between us. She was still pretty upset with House, and I later found the poem crumpled underneath her pillow. I knew she was trying, but with her headaches getting worse and us not finding answers, it was weighing on her. Add onto that with nightmares every night. We had no idea when her dad would show up again and make things even worse.
“Come on, we need sleep,” I said, tugging at her hand.
She pulled it back into her body. “No, I’m sorry. Just one more book,” she begged, reaching for a different book.
I shook my head. “Seriously. The books will be here tomorrow.”
It was hard to say no to her, but she reluctantly let me drag her down the stairs and out of the library. She tried to pick up a book on the way out but I snagged it and tossed it inside just as House closed the door behind me.
With sudden energy, Clara whipped me around and pressed me into the door of the library. House locked the door against my back, barely in time.
Clara leaned up, biting her lip. “Just one more book.” Her lips pressed against my neck, trailing up my jaw to my ear.
Shit. “Are you trying to seduce me into going back inside the library?”
“Of course I am. Is it working?” she whispered, her breath sending a shiver down my spine.
I wasn’t going to last long if this was her tactic, and she knew it. Her hands found mine and positioned them around her waist, making sure I was touching her skin underneath my old sweatshirt. I let out a soft noise as Clara just smiled and pressed more of her body into me, kissing my lips and wrapping her hands around my neck.
It took every ounce of my power not to kiss her back, but this was totally not fair.
“Not working,” I replied, my voice strained. At least House was backing me up.
Clara tried one more time, moving my hands tighter around her back, but I had a different idea. I scooped her up and swung her over my shoulder as she squirmed.
“That’s cheating!” she cried, biting my shoulder in an attempt to get me to drop her.
“Me? Cheating? How dare you accuse me of cheating,” I replied with a laugh, carrying her into her room. “House, lock the door.”
The door closed behind me and I heard the click of the lock.
Clara huffed. “You two are ganging up on me.”
“Says the girl who tried to seduce me into letting her stay in the library.”
House creaked as I tossed her on the bed.
“Rude,” she grumbled, reaching over her head to throw a pillow at me. She sprawled out on the bed, taking up as much space as possible. I picked up the pillow and threw it back.
“Scooch.”
“Make me,” Clara replied, sticking her tongue out.
“You are ridiculous,” I laughed.
She leaned up and rolled onto her knees, sitting at the edge of the bed in front of me. Her hands reached up and gripped my shirt, pulling herself up to kiss me.
“I love you, always forever,” she whispered, leaning away just enough to speak before she kissed me again and pulled me down next to her.
“I love you, too. Always forever,” I replied. I kissed the top of her head and watched her body rise and fall gently as she drifted to sleep.
Clara and I stood together, her left hand in my right with an icy touch. We weren’t in the clearing… some sort of alley maybe, but I didn’t recognize it.
Aidan stood in front of us, the haze he created making a cloud around us. It floated between us, but this time it wasn’t working. His smug grin turned to anger as he dove forward.
Clara responded
, pulling her hand out of mine as she pushed forward with force. A wave of energy exploded out of her, knocking Aidan away from us. He launched across the alley and slammed into the wall, cracking the brick and sending showers of dust and shards around his limp body on the ground.
I stepped forward to see through the cloud of dust, struggling to balance as the ground shook underneath me. When I turned back to Clara, she only had a blank stare on her face. I focused on her hands as they wrapped around a knife, held steady by Richard’s grip.
“You’re too late,” he said, flashing his wicked smile. With a single, swift move, he shoved the knife deep into her stomach.
“No!”
Clara and I shot up out of bed. She clutched at her stomach as we both gasped for breath. I could feel the sweat rolling down my chest.
That’s how she was going to die. Her dad was going to kill her.
“C, ar—“
She threw her hand over my mouth. “Shush.”
I could feel her mind spinning as I replayed the nightmare myself. What about her dad was different? Had he stolen her energy? If her blood was still blue, did that mean he failed? But why would he kill her if he didn’t have the power?
“Shush your thoughts too,” Clara snapped, holding her finger over her lips. I did my best to clear my head, but it was spinning just as much as hers. She finally let out a breath. “I figured it out.”
“Figured what out?” I managed to mumble through her fingers. Clara pulled her hand off my mouth, climbing out of the covers so she could face me.
“Aidan’s powers don’t work on you. When you were holding my hand, they didn’t work on me either.”
“Don’t let go of your hand. Got it.”
“No, you don’t get it. Your right hand, my left,” she said, lifting my right hand in front of us to show off the mark on my palm. She turned her left hand over to reveal the same scar. “This is where the Blue Star connected us; where the power is strongest. I think it really is trying to protect me this time.”
I grimaced. “I’m still a little hesitant after the Blue Star’s track record, but it could work.”
“I also figured out the second part. The transfer of energy? I know how my dad is going to steal it.”
“How?”
Clara pinched her lips together. “The Blue Star only reacts to me, right? When you and I held it together, some of the power transferred to you, hence the blue scar. The power source is a conduit and I juice and direct that power.”
“Holy shit,” I breathed.
Clara nodded. “If we keep the Blue Star hidden, he can’t use it.”
I frowned. How could we possibly keep the Blue Star hidden if it always found a way to our pockets? It wasn’t letting Clara out of its grip, and it would do anything to get her to use it. Now, Richard was going to take advantage of that.
“C, he kills you,” I whispered.
She placed her hand over her stomach, her eyes fading to a dull blue. “We just have to finda way to change that without getting consumed by the Blue Star. I’ll keep ignoring the voices.” Clara leaned back on the headboard, shifting slightly as I leaned back with her. “Normal teenage worries, right? Don’t fall victim to an evil blue marble and try not to get killed by my evil dad.”
I reached around her shoulders and pulled her closer. “It must be so boring to have a normal life.”
“I could go for boring right about now,” she sighed.
39
Nate
Glitch had the perfect distraction.
“Laser tag?” Clara asked, uneasy.
“Exactly,” Glitch replied. He started to put his feet up on the table but House creaked to deter him.
“Why laser tag?” I asked, poking the eggs on my plate.
“Exercise, for one. You two have been spending all your time in the library. Minus your extracurriculars, you need to run around a little.” Clara rolled her eyes as he continued. “Second, we need to blow off some steam without literally getting thrown into the walls by Clara. There’s minimal risk of physical injury. Third, there’s a max of sixteen people in the game which means C doesn’t have to block out a ton of thoughts. Come on, let’s go shoot people.”
“Fine, but no more than an hour,” Clara replied, continuing the steady stream of sugar into her coffee.
I folded my arms. “I don’t know…”
“Dude, you need to get out of the house,” Glitch said, his mouth full of donut.
“I’m perfectly fine staying inside on a Saturday. That’s what weekends are for.”
My chair spun around as Clara pulled it to face her. She uncrossed my arms and put them around her so she could sit and balance on my lap.
“Come on, I can handle an hour. Normal for one hour.” She scrunched her nose against mine and kissed me.
I groaned. “First you try to seduce me into the library, now you want to seduce me into laser tag?”
“Yup. Think of it like you’re taking me on our first date.”
“What?” Glitch blurted. “You haven’t taken her on a real date yet?”
“We’ve been busy,” I grumbled. “Fine, but no cheating with powers… for any of us.” I held up my finger to Clara, knowing she would absolutely cheat to beat us. She grinned and kissed me again.
“Gross. Get a room,” Glitch mumbled behind me.
Clara pulled away and stared Glitch down. “This is my house.” She planted her feet and stood up. “Well, if we’re going, I’m changing into darker clothes. I’m not giving either of you losers a chance to beat me.”
◆◆◆
We suited up and listened to the employee drone over the rules. Clara was too busy sizing up her competition to pay attention. With the first game a free-for-all, it was going to be a madhouse once it started. After we walked through the doors, we had less than a minute to find our spots before it started. Glitch took off in one direction while Clara took off in another, leaving me to wonder if they’d actually follow our ‘no powers’ rule.
I ran around and did my best to have fun. I nailed a few kids from a birthday party and one other high schooler, but every time I got a kill, someone would tag me from behind. Whoever it was did a great job of hiding. I dodged a few more shots from the birthday party kids before turning out of the maze. Glitch jumped out from hiding and tagged me.
“Sorry dude,” he said with a shrug. “C! I got him!” He turned and ran away laughing.
Teaming up on me, that’s what they were doing. I wound back through the maze, trying to find higher ground so I could pick off Glitch and get some payback. I snuck up a ramp, my sights set for the lookout corner. Out of nowhere, someone ran into me and pushed me against the wall.
Clara. She pressed her body into mine as she kissed me, hard. I forgot everything going on around us and let her take over, running my fingers through her hair and holding her close with my hand in the small of her back. I was getting dizzy when I finally remembered to breathe. She pulled her head back just slightly so I could see her blue eyes shining against the blacklight.
“Oh, good. It’s you. The last guy I kissed was really confused, but he almost got to second base before I figured it out.”
She leaned into kiss me again but I twisted away. “Wait, what?”
“Kidding!” she giggled. She jumped back and shot me.
“You little shit,” I shouted, fumbling for my gun to shoot her back.
Clara let out a small shriek through her laughter and ran off, leaving me to chase her. She was just a few steps ahead of me when she turned the corner out of my sight. I slowed my pace to make sure she wasn’t going to try a sneak attack, poking my head around the wall.
To my surprise, she wasn’t running anymore. She just stood in the middle of the path, her back toward me. But someone else was there with her.
Aidan.
The haze was already surrounding her, looking fuzzy in the blacklight. Clara was swaying in her stance, clearly no longer in control of her mind. I lunged forward
and grabbed her left hand, yanking her away from Aidan. She wobbled but regained her stance, realizing what had happened. But it worked. His powers couldn’t affect her if we were connected.
“What the hell are you doing here?” she asked, her speech slurred.
Aidan brushed off his surprise with a smile, his teeth glowing. “Oh, Finn. I just want my girl back.”
“Back off,” I growled, trying to look around to see if Richard was here too. “What are you really doing?”
“Speeding up the process. Richard moves too slow. I’m going to bring Finn in now, and take the Blue Star off your bloody corpse later,” he snarled.
