by Laura Winter
“Not happening,” Clara hissed. “I’d rather kill myself than let you have that power.”
Aidan’s grin curled again. “Don’t you realize, stupid girl? You are going to kill yourself. I’m here to make sure that doesn’t happen until you’ve transferred that power to me.” I could feel Clara’s hand get cold in my grip. Aidan continued, chuckling at our surprise. “Oh, did you not realize what was happening in your dreams?”
“How do you know that?”
“Because I tried to take the Blue Star’s energy once and it denied me and stole my powers. I had to steal my power back from a different source. It only wants her and she doesn’t even want it. She doesn’t deserve it. Do you have any idea what you could do with that kind of power?”
A kid ran through the middle of us, shooting Clara and I before running off. I took advantage of the distraction.
“Glitch, run!” I shouted, pulling Clara down into the shadows.
I slid us out the side of the building and pushed Clara out onto a pile of bags as I slammed into the dumpster. I stood off and ripped my vest off, trying to get Clara to hurry with hers. She was moving slowly, still dizzy from Aidan’s power. I looked around, trying to find the best exit, but the fences were all locked. We could use the shadows again, but we couldn’t leave Glitch behind either.
“Nate…” Clara mumbled, struggling to get to her feet. I reached down and lifted her, balancing as her knees wobbled.
“Hey, we gotta find Glitch and get out of here.”
“No, Nate. Look where we are.”
I looked around again, realizing what I had missed the first time. The alley from our dream. Before I had a chance to get us out, Aidan popped up across from us with Glitch, using Glitch’s power.
“What did you do?” I asked, grabbing Clara’s hand again to protect her.
“I made the playing field even,” Aidan hissed. The haze around Glitch thickened, his dull stare a sign he had lost control of his mind.
“Glitch!” Clara shouted at him.
He focused his eyes on her, a disgusted snarl on his face as he turned to me. “How can you be with her?”
“What?” I could feel my stomach clench. That voice… it was his, but so full of hate.
“She almost killed us,” Glitch snapped. “She’s weak, listening to the voices. They control her.”
I shook my head. “Glitch, that’s not you. Aidan is making you think these things. You have to fight it.”
“Look at her arm!” he growled back. “She’s already given in once. You can’t stop her anymore. She is going to listen to the voices no matter what you do. She’ll give in and kill you.”
Aidan laughed behind him as I gripped Clara’s hand tighter. We had seen a way out of this before.
Nate, you can’t let go of me. No matter how hard I fight you, please don’t let go.
I won’t.
I felt our grip getting colder as Clara’s hand tensed in mine. The voices hummed in the back of my head, sending shivers down my spine as I pushed their pain down.
Aidan picked up on our strategy, moving forward with Glitch following his command. Clara’s grip was starting to numb my fingers, but I could still make out the trickle of blood between our palms. The faint voices in my head were getting louder, fighting against me which meant they were now shouting at Clara. I could see the pain in her face as she inhaled again.
And then she screamed, throwing her right hand forward as I used all of my strength to keep a grip on her left. The blast narrowly avoided Glitch as it connected with Aidan’s chest, sending him flying backward. Just like the dream, his head slammed into the wall, the crack echoing in the alley as the wall was smashed. Brick pieces showered down with his body as he dropped into the shadow I created on the ground. As he disappeared, I closed the gap. Besides the crack in the wall, you would never have known he had been here.
Glitch dropped to the ground and clutched his head, groaning in pain. But he was alive, and that’s what mattered.
Now the voices came roaring back through my neck, louder and stronger. I realized I hadn’t heard them over the sound of Clara’s scream, and now I could hear both. I guided her back against the dumpster, not letting go of her hand. I did what I had done the night of my dad’s party. I kissed her and tried to give her my thoughts as I pulled the voices out of her head.
Clara, I’m never letting go.
I focused on the voices, allowing them to grow in my head. I lured them away from Clara, pulling her pain. The voices screamed and clawed through my head, begging to return to Clara so they could be released.
Keep fighting, C. Let me in. Let me help you.
I felt her tears on my face, but I didn’t pull away. The pressure was growing in my skull and I could feel my nose bleeding, but I refused to let the voices win. I pressed harder into Clara, squeezing my eyes shut against the fading light. Maybe this is what blacking out felt like.
I gasped as the voices disappeared in an instant. It was easy to breathe now as the silence echoed through my head. I took my head away from Clara, looking around as she shoved her face into her knees. We were sitting in complete darkness.
“Clara.” My voice stretched into the emptiness.
She picked her head out of her knees, looking around as she frowned. “Nate, the voices. They’re gone. They’re gone from my head,” she whispered.
“How are you doing this?” I asked, tapping the ground. I could have sworn we were floating in the blackness, but I felt solid ground underneath me. The space looked like it would never end.
“I’m not doing it,” she replied, her eyes wide. “You are.”
“What?”
“Nate, I was stuck with the waves and the voices just like before. They were swallowing me, crushing me, but then you pulled it all away. You brought me here…”
“I don’t know what I did,” I replied, still lost in confusion.
“‘Called into Darkness’,” Clara whispered, running her right hand over my cheek. “The poem. I don’t think the Darkness is part of the Blue Star… I think it’s you.”
“But… how?”
The darkness began to fade as the alley came into focus. In a way, I could feel it drawing back into me, but at the same time I had no idea what I was doing or how I was doing it. I looked around as it finally became light again.
Glitch was doubled over in the corner, throwing up. Aidan’s body was nowhere to be seen. Clara was still staring at me, her thoughts spinning so quickly I couldn’t follow him. Then again, maybe it was because my head was spinning too.
I think I wanted to throw up with Glitch.
40
Clara
For the first time, I was the one without the headache. We had just found a way to beat Aidan. Somehow, we had made it out alive and we had some answers. But I could only focus on one thing right now which was getting the two groaning and barely conscious boys to House.
I felt weak, but I managed to drag Glitch and Nate into the car so I could drive home. I threw Glitch on the couch as he mumbled on about an imaginary laser tag game he was playing against us. At least that was a pleasant memory. Hopefully he wouldn’t remember what he shouted about me in the alley.
Nate was more awake than Glitch but completely incoherent. I tried to throw him on the bed but he pulled me down with him. He landed on my arm, leaving me pinned only inches from his face.
“Clara,” he said, clearly trying to act serious while slurring his words. “Voices are bad. You should listen.” He paused, deep in thought. “No, that’s wrong… don’t listen. Yeah, don’t listen.” He grinned and poked my ear.
I sighed, trying to hold my head over his. “Nate, you’re on my arm.”
He blinked quickly, trying to focus on me. “That’s not important.”
“It is if I want circulation in my hand,” I groaned.
Nate scrunched his nose. “Aidan isn’t nice. Don’t date him.”
“Nate, I’m not dating Aidan. I’m dating you
.”
He sat up and grabbed me by the shoulders, staring deep into my eyes. I pulled my arm out from behind his back before he could lay back down on it. He moved his hands to my face and held it closer to his.
“I don’t want to be darkness,” he whispered.
I sighed and shook my head before kissing his forehead. “Nate, you aren’t darkness… it’s different. And I won’t listen to the voices.”
He grinned wide. “Your eyes are pretty.” I went to stand up but he reached out and held my hand. “Wait, please don’t let go.”
“Never again. I promise, always forever.”
Nate was snoring before I had even leaned back with him. I should have been exhausted but my mind couldn’t relax. Nate had to be Darkness, from my note, but it wasn’t a bad thing. I went over the warning again. Called into Darkness. Called into Cold.
Did that mean I had a choice? Nate had called me out of the cold, just like he was always pulling me. I felt it even before we had the Blue Star connection. Could I really pick the Darkness over the Cold?
The more I thought about it, the more I focused on the feeling, the more it felt like the Blue Star was pushing us together. I had never found the other half, but Nate found it without trying. It connected us when we fixed it. Why did the Blue Star feel so conflicting? Why would something evil connect us in a way that kept the voices out? It was protecting me from Aidan when he would have given the power source a chance to take over me. Right?
Was Nate and I being together a good thing if this evil power source was driving us closer?
“Do you really think I’m Darkness?” Nate asked in a groggy voice.
I sighed and turned to face him. “Darkness doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Whatever you did, you pulled me out of the cold. The darkness is what saved me. It was a good thing.”
He frowned. “I don’t know how I did that.”
I reached down and lifted his right palm. “I think this extra power is how.”
Nate yanked his hand out of mine and threw it over his mouth. “I’m gonna be sick.”
I jumped up and pulled him into the bathroom. He rolled over the tub like I had once done and turned on the water. I pushed off the ground, drying my hands on my jeans.
“I’ll go check on Glitch.”
“Good luck. He’s a pain when he wakes up, especially if he’s sick,” Nate mumbled, pressing his face against the tile to cool down.
Glitch was sitting up on the couch when I walked in, groaning with his head in his lap.
“Don’t puke on House or you’ll never be allowed back inside,” I said gently, leaning against the wall.
“Ugh, don’t shout. Can you shut off the sun?” he asked, squinting as he held his hand up to block the light. I flicked my fingers and shut all the blinds. Glitch sighed in relief and leaned back. “I should apologize.”
I shook my head. “You don’t have to, Glitch. Aidan was using you.”
“No, I need to apologize. Aidan might have had his evil agenda, but those were all thoughts I’d had before. He just made them… real. I never wanted to say that,” he said, hanging his head.
I walked over and sat next to him, wrapping my arms around his chest. “If our little family is going to work, we need to be in the business of forgiveness. I’m not mad, Glitch. We’ve all screwed up, me most of all, but we’re under extreme circumstances.”
“Are you cheating on me with my best friend?” Nate asked, leaning against the wall to steady himself. Somehow he’d managed to change and get a dry shirt on. Progress.
“Shit, he caught us,” I said with a grin. I kissed Glitch’s cheek and helped him stand as Nate balanced him on the other side. I groaned. “Glitch, stop singing ‘we’re the three best friends’ in your head.”
“I can’t help it. My brain feels hungover.”
Nate chuckled. “I hope you drown in the shower.”
After a few minutes, Nate joined me on the couch. I leaned back and rested my head on his lap, staring at my bloody arm. It was a miracle I hadn’t run out of blood.
“Okay, let’s talk about it,” Nate said, pinching my nose.
“Which part?”
“Aidan. What you said about killing yourself.”
“Nate, I don’t actually see that as an option. Plus, you saw my dad in the nightmare. He’s the one…” I trailed off.
“Do you think Aidan was telling the truth about the Blue Star? That the power only wanted you?” he asked.
“He said the Blue Star took his power when he tried to use it. That’s probably the only reason he got close to me… to Finnley, I mean. He wanted that power for himself, and I bet he tried to cut Richard out.”
“He said Richard moved to slow, which probably means he has a plan,” Nate sighed, running his fingers over my forehead.
“We’re lucky he wasn’t there, but if he’s willing to wait, there’s definitely a reason,” I replied.
Nate nodded. “Our dream gave us a hint about Aidan’s attack.”
I traced my fingers over my stomach. “Which means those nightmares have been hinting my fate since the first day.”
“But we changed it this time. Aidan is floating around in the shadows, not lying on the ground.”
“But he’s still dead,” I whispered.
“The Blue Star gave us a chance to change the scene, though. We still can,” Nate said, a new hope in his eyes.
I shrugged. “I hope so. The voices want me alone. They want me alive so they can take over, which means everyone around me is an obstacle keeping me from giving in… even Aidan. Even you.”
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“I wasn’t entirely in control back there. It was mostly them, or it. I was fighting back, barely enough to direct the blow. The Blue Star would have taken out everyone if I hadn’t resisted. It wanted to kill Glitch. It wanted to kill you right next to me, even though you were helping.”
But you fought back and won, that’s what matters. Nate leaned down and kissed my forehead.
You got me away from the voices.
Nate leaned back, scrunching his nose. “So about laser tag… did you really kiss someone else?”
“I figured out it wasn’t you because he was really good at kissing.” I winked at laughed but Nate didn’t humor my joke. “I’m kidding, Nate. I was tracking you the whole game.” I poked his head to let him know I was following his thoughts.
His jaw dropped. “You were the one who kept killing me!”
I stuck my tongue out as Nate smiled. He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. He slid out from underneath my head and rested his body on mine, kissing me deep. Chills ran down my arms and spine.
“Gross. Get a room,” Glitch groaned as he ran toward the rood. “See you weirdos later.”
41
Nate
Four days before Christmas, we decided to send Glitch off on his vacation with a Star Wars movie night, something we hadn’t done in a long time. We even capped the night with a training session disguised as a lightsaber fight, using our powers and wooden sticks as weapons. It was nice to just be loose and have fun again.
We pulled the pads off the walls to use as beds, leaning back as we stared up at the ceiling. When Glitch left tomorrow, Clara and I were going to be left without help. There was no telling if Richard would try something, but we had to play the waiting game.
“I’ve been practicing something,” Clara said, reaching her hand up toward the ceiling. It started to fade into darkness as the night sky appeared, the stars blinking and shimmering where there should have been a roof.
“How are you doing that?” Glitch asked, waving up at the sky.
“Making you think we’re outside.” Clara’s hand continued to brush through the air as the stars followed her movements, leaving streaks of light behind them.
“Stop messing with our brains,” I said, looking at her.
She winked and stuck out her tongue. “I mess with a lot more of you than your brain.”
>
“Ugh,” Glitch groaned. “You guys are so gross. I can’t believe I wanted you to be together. I better not wake up to you two kissing.”
“Nope, I’m pretty sure it’ll just be the two of us yelling as I die again in our shared nightmare,” Clara sighed as the night sky disappeared. I had noticed her gallows humor was getting worse the longer we went without answers.
