Soul Forgotten (Blue Star Series Book 1)
Page 21
“Only what I’ve read in books, why?” Clara asked, shifting and bumping into me again.
My mom hesitated, glancing back and forth between us before finally breaking the silence.
“I’m one of the leaders.
44
Clara
“This whole time you’ve been an hour away and couldn’t bother coming home?” Nate asked, his voice raising as he gripped the couch cushions. As anxious as I was to have my past filled in, this wasn’t going to be easy for Nate either. His parents had lied to him his whole life.
“I was trying to protect you,” Angie sighed. “Was it the best way? No, but it kept you safe. All of this started for you around the same time as Fi- I mean, Clara.”
Both Tom and Angie glanced at me but I didn’t react. In fact, I couldn’t move. My entire body felt heavy and numb. I barely noticed Nate slide his arm around my waist and pull me into his side.
“Then start explaining,” Nate demanded, breaking the silence as he glared at his parents.
Tom sat in the chair next to Angie and looked at me. “We found out about Finnley’s powers just a few months after she was born, and a couple months before Nate was born. Ellie called us in the middle of the night saying Finnley was moving things without touching them.”
“We had never seen or heard of anyone born with powers,” Angie added.
“Why did my mom call you?” I asked.
“I told you. Ellie and I were best friends. She knew we would keep a secret.” She looked down, fighting back her emotions. I could hear her thoughts twinged with sadness, but I couldn’t understand the anger. “I did the only thing we could have done. People who tried to take the Blue Star’s power usually lost theirs, or never got them in the first place. We did it to protect you, and to protect others. It wasn’t your fault, but you couldn’t control your powers as a baby.”
We just made things worse. The thought ran through Tom’s head as he glanced at Angie and then Nate. “When Nathaniel displayed powers, we used the Blue Star on him and he stopped showing signs of power. We thought it worked on both of you, but to be safe, I took Nate away from The Complex before anyone knew his name. We convinced everyone that we wanted a normal life for our son, away from The Complex and away from powers. Clara, you didn’t have the same option, so your parents kept an eye on you there.”
“You were okay leaving her with that psychopath Richard?” Nate asked.
“He wasn’t always. Finnley liked to push his buttons growing up so we didn’t notice it getting worse. No one knew she still had telekinetic powers… or telepathic ones.” Angie looked back at me as her voice got quiet. “You came to me before The Trials. You were having nightmares about your dad using you to take the Blue Star’s power and then snapping Nate’s neck.”
I frowned. “I knew who Nate was before all this?”
“Not exactly. The boy you described… with the power to play with darkness? I knew it had to be Nate.” She took a breath. “You explained your powers and your dreams to me and I knew—“
“Okay, but why you? Why would I tell you all those things and not my mom?” I snapped, trying to shove down my anger. It wasn’t fair that this version of me didn’t know her. “I’m sorry. It’s just hard to wrap my head around this because I don’t know you… well, this version of me doesn’t remember.”
Angie nodded sympathetically. “I know this isn’t easy. I don’t think you wanted to worry your mom, or put her in Richard’s path. What we did to you was terrible. Introducing you to the Blue Star as a baby had consequences. We knew it was rumored to show visions of the future to lure people into its trap; false promises in exchange for using the power source. All it ever did was steal powers away. That is until Finnley touched it. Clearly you still have your powers.”
Yeah, there are a lot more consequences than that. I thought to Nate. I kept my mouth shut, knowing there was still a hint of anger behind Angie’s story.
She sighed before continuing. “The energy of the Blue Star was too strong for a single person, but that’s also how it could be emptied so no one else could use it. Finnley was supposed to take in the power and let it consume her so no one would ever use it again.”
“You told her to kill herself?” Nate growled.
I wasn’t bothered by that statement because I finally understood. I rested my hand on Nate’s knee to try to calm him down.
“It was my plan, wasn’t it?”
Angie finally nodded. “Yes. You wanted your dad or Aidan to make a move before you took all the power so The Complex could stop them. If you had gone to them before, they would have known about your powers.”
“And I was a coward,” I whispered, repeating the word that ran through Angie’s thoughts. “I didn’t want to die or become the Cold Soul, so I ran away instead. I pretended to die so no one would come after me. I set up a whole life for myself outside The Complex so I could live a little longer. I ruined everything.”
“The Blue Star tricked you,” Nate said, trying to reassure me that it wasn’t my own failing.
“Hold on, the Cold Soul?” Tom asked.
I glanced to Angie, the same confused look on her. “I think the Cold Soul and the Blue Star are the same thing. The nightmares, the voices clawing in my head, the headaches and outbursts, the fact that I feel cold all the time… I have half of the Cold Soul in me already.” I pulled my necklace off and showed them my scar. “I don’t think it’s going to kill me. I think it wants me to take in the power so it can turn me into the Cold Soul.”
“Do you still have the same nightmare? Nate still dies?” Angie asked, her face turning pale.
“No,” Nate snapped, surprising me. “Because of what you did to her, she’s now the one getting killed by Richard. I have to see it every night too.” He pulled off his key necklace to show them his palm.
“How is that even possible?” Tom asked, leaning forward to get a better look.
“The thing only responds to Clara,” he replied, turning to me. “What did you call yourself?”
“A conduit. That’s why Richard needs me to get the power. It only responds to me, and apparently I can channel it into others.” I could see the look of horror on Angie’s face. “I didn’t mean to do that. I didn’t know what was happening.”
“You promised me you’d keep him out of this!” Angie’s horror snapped to anger, spilling what had been running in her mind the entire conversation. “The Blue Star is tricking you so you don’t destroy it. Now you’ve gotten my son into this mess!”
“Mom!” Nate shouted, launching out of his seat.
I fell into the dent he left in the couch but I didn’t react. Maybe under other circumstances I’d be angry, but all I felt was guilt. Angie was right. Even if I couldn’t remember Finnley’s promise, I was the one who needed to be held accountable for her actions. She listened to the voices that continually lied to her and didn’t take in all the power to destroy the Blue Star. It was my fault.
Nate swung around to look at me. “Absolutely not. You are not allowed to feel guilty because this is not your fault.”
“What?” Tom and Angie said in unison. Shit. He had just responded to my thoughts.
He turned back to them. “The connection from this mark allows us to communicate in our heads. I think she transferred the Blue Star energy as a piece of her power, though I can only hear her thoughts.” Nate sat down again and took my hand. “I’ve been able to use my powers to reach her whenever she’s having headaches or outbursts so she doesn’t destroy things, but it’s getting worse. Now Richard has the Ruby and is using it to control her. He’s going to make her transfer the Blue Star power to him and then he’ll kill her.”
“The Ruby was stolen,” Tom said, glancing at Angie. But it shouldn’t work like that unless he makes physical contact with you. Maybe because you’re related he can have an influence over you.”
“Great,” I mumbled, sinking back into the couch.
“Do you have any other options?�
�� Nate asked. “Maybe another power source that could protect her?”
Angie’s voice was quiet as she thought. “Unless we find Richard before he uses Fi- I mean Clara, we have to keep the Blue Star hidden from her. Anything she knows, he will know if he takes control.”
“What about you two?” I asked, trying not to let desperation bleed through my voice. “Don’t you have powers that can help?”
“I’m afraid we don’t have powers. As leaders, we are only supposed to direct those who pass The Trials and oversee The Complex,” Tom replied, avoiding my gaze. “Clearly our last panel failed with your father.”
Nate shifted closer to again so I was practically sitting on top of his leg. It felt like he was never going to let me out of his grip until all this was over. “So what do we do now?”
Angie frowned. “How have you hidden from your dad this long? If he knows where you are, he should have come for you already.”
I shrugged. “I think House has been protecting me. He’s charmed or magical or something. Richard hasn’t bothered me there until he used the Ruby to control me in my sleep. Nate was able to help protect me from Aidan’s powers through the Blue Star connection, but in my dreams it doesn’t work against Richard.”
“Let me guess,” Angie said, raising her eyebrow. “You have a library in your house?”
Nate raised his eyebrow as he looked at me. “How do you know that?”
“That’s a story for another time. There will be something in there to add to the protection, hopefully something against power sources.” Angie stood up and reached out her hand. “I’ll hide the Blue Star so Clara doesn’t know anything about it. Tom and I will reach out to our contacts in The Complex for anything else that can help.”
Nate reached into his pocket and pulled out the marble. Of course that thing was nearby. But how could Angie hide something that never took it’s grip off me?
Tom gave me a sad smile. “Once we stop Richard, we will look for something to help with the headaches and resisting the Blue Star.”
It surprised me that he wasn’t mad about me getting Nate involved. Angie was full of unpleasant thoughts about me.
I winced and took a sharp breath as the voices hissed louder in my head, probably in response to Tom’s comment about resisting them. Nate pulled my head in to rest on his chest as he looked up at his parents.
“Please hurry. Like I said, it’s getting worse.”
45
Nate
Christmas was ruined. My mom had sent Clara and I digging through House’s endless and hopeless library for answers that were impossible to find. If they were here, House would have shown us the right place to look, and the more books we tossed aside, the more distracted Clara got. How could we be present with each other when we were only looking for ways to keep Clara from dying?
She sat at the window, pressing her forehead against the cold surface. I could hear her thoughts wishing for snow.
“Why do you want snow? It’s cold and miserable,” I said.
Clara frowned as she turned. “I’ve never seen it. I mean, I don’t think I’ve seen it. Besides, it’s not like you can tell if it’s cold anymore since you have that mark.”
I just shrugged and looked back at my book. “Well, it rarely snows, even if they call for it.”
She snagged the book out of my hands and threw it behind her, yanking me off the ground. “Then we’ll just have to make our own. Come on.”
“You’re crazy. Shouldn’t we keep trying in here?”
“I’m done for tonight. I can’t ready anymore,” she replied, grabbing her iPod in her free hand as she dragged me into the training room and plugged in her music.
She’s Out of Her Mind. blink-182.
“From the first day of school. Because you think I’m crazy,” she giggled, spinning around as she danced.
“You are crazy. It’s a fact.” I watched her run to the other side of the room as the ceiling turned into a gray sky. Little white flakes sprinkled from the ceiling, falling to the floor that was suddenly blanketed in snow. I reached out to hold a snowflake, admiring that it didn’t melt in my hand. It also didn’t feel cold. I let it drop to the ground with the rest of the flakes.
Clara scrunched her nose. “I can change your perception, but I can’t get the rest of your senses to respond.”
“Don’t you be messing with my senses now. Perception is far enough,” I laughed, changing the song.
I Wear Glasses. Mating Ritual.
If she was feeling good enough to act carefree, I was going to let her. And I was determined to put my worry behind me too. I ran over and grabbed her by the waist to swing her around.
She smiled. “You don’t even wear glasses,” she giggled as she kissed me. She spun out of my arms and continued to twirl around as I watched.
“Just listen to the song, dork. How do you even know how to make snow if you’ve never seen it?”
“It’s called binge watching TV, Nate. I may only have four months of real memories but I still know things.” Clara skipped around me as the song started over. She must have set it on repeat. “Are you going to come dance with me?”
“I’m performing an experiment,” I replied, thinking back to the first day of school.
Clara’s eyes lit up brighter than I had seen in the last month. “What’s your conclusion?” she asked, hopping up and down as she impatiently waited for my response.
“Hush, now. I’m still performing it.” I swung her around by the hand and pushed her against the wall, running my hands through her hair until my figners found a knot. I pressed my lips into her neck as I slid my hand under her shirt and across the small of her back. As my fingers brushed along her skin, I could feel the chill run through her spine. Just before she caved and tried to wrap her arms around me, I stepped away.
“Okay, now I’ve analyzed the results and reached a conclusion,” I said, smiling.
She shook her head, still waiting. “Well?”
“Oh, I’m done. I have to leave you wanting more, right?”
Clara rolled her eyes. “You’re an ass.”
“I just march to the beat of my own drum,” I laughed, sticking my tongue out at her.
She laughed and ran up to me, jumping and wrapping her legs around my waist as I walked her back against the wall. The snow around us started to fade but the music stayed on as I melted into her.
◆◆◆
Whispers.
Screams.
Fear.
A soul.
Replaced by the Cold Soul.
Erased.
Consumed.
Existing within.
Waiting.
The Blue Star.
Called into Darkness.
Called into Cold.
Dividing.
Clara stood in front of me, wearing the same gray dress she had worn before, but the skirt and sleeves were shredded and covered in blue ink. No, blood. Blue blood. The first rip was along her stomach, the blood staining the front of her skirt. Then, the sleeve on her left arm was ripped off, revealing the glistening cut of the lightning scar tracing her palm all the way up to her shoulder.
“Clara?” I asked, my voice echoing.
She frowned and tilted her head before shaking it. “No.”
She lifted her left hand toward me, uncurling her palm to reveal the Blue Star marble, completely black and lifeless.
“No.” I felt my heart sink into my stomach. “You took in the power. You became the Cold Soul.”
She smiled softly. “Nate, you misunderstand. I left you the poem.”
“Clara, what are you talking about?”
“I’m not Clara,” she replied calmly.
My fists clenched. “Then you’re the Cold Soul. You replaced Clara’s soul.”
“Nate, you misunderstand. I am the Blue Soul. I replaced the Cold Soul, not Clara’s soul.” She paused for a moment, waiting for the shock to fade. “The poem was about more than just Clara’s soul. It was a
bout the Blue Soul too. I am power. I replaced the Cold Soul in Clara.”
“Clara didn’t have a Cold Soul,” I replied.
“The Cold Soul was woven into Clara after she was born. My cage held two powers, myself and the Cold Soul. It took advantage of the child, but she was too weak to hold all of it. I tried calling to her throughout her life to protect her. To save her. On her eighteenth birthday, she used me again. I replaced the Cold Soul and trapped it with the other half of me. The voices she hears are the Cold Soul trying to get back to her. It wants to be free. We can’t destroy it while I’m still in the cage.”