The Shifter's Soul

by R. A. Boyd

  “Why am I hugging you?” Audra asked, her voice wavering as she swallowed down her anger. “I was aiming for my new sister.” She tightened her arms and legs around Simon in an embrace so constricting he could hear his bones begin to crack from the pressure. “If I wanted to hug you—” she said through gritted teeth as her angry eyes met his, “—I would tell you so and made you give me one. You aiming for your daily dose of ouch already?”

  Simon couldn’t take a full breath as Audra crushed him. If she kept at her current rate of literally squeezing the life out of him, she would dislocate at least one of his shoulders and crack a few of his ribs.

  “She’s clumsy, Audra,” Simon grunted out. If his sister didn’t calm the fuck down, Simon just might have to fight back. He didn’t hit girls. “You would have hurt her.” Nope, he didn’t hit girls, but if his sister knocked Charlie over by giving her a surprise hug or didn’t unhand him in five point four seconds, he was going to throw her ass out of the window to the pub. She was a fallen angel, just like him. She’d shake the glass out of her long braid and be just fine.

  Her arms loosened as she stared at him, cocking her head back like a confused bird. “Oh. Ohh. Clumsy.” Audra leaned over Simon’s shoulder. The change in his sister’s scent went from epically pissed off to how she smelled when her and Zeke spoke of having children. “I would have hurt you?” Regret lined her words as she talked to Charlie.

  “That’s a possibility,” Charlie answered. “I’d trip over my own words if such a thing could happen.”

  With Audra still holding on to him like a toddler on her mother’s hip, Simon turned around and faced his woman. “Charlie, this is my psychotic sister… Damn-it, Audra!” She licked his nose and jumped down from his hip, fully turning to face Charlie.

  Most of the people in the pub were watching them now, but he didn’t care. People in New Rose were used to Audra’s antics and learned to ignore her unless her rage was focused on them.

  Audra approached Charlie like she was soothing a wounded horse. Holding her arms wide and then closing them with deliberate care, she hugged Charlie in a soft embrace. “He’s already less of a dick than he’s been in years. You can help him get it back, right? I don’t think the gypsy is going to let go so easily.”

  Charlie’s eyebrows knitted together and her round nose tightened up as she frowned. “Gypsy?” She looked at Simon as Audra still held her in an awkward hug.

  Before Simon could change the subject, Audra pointed at Charlie’s hair and turned to smile at him. “Premature graying hair has never looked sexier. Your hair is the same color as Simon’s eyes when he’s bleeding out. It’s kismet.”

  “Alright, Audra. That’s enough.” Simon grabbed Charlie’s arm and led her to a booth near the window.

  Letting his sisters around his woman made him sympathize for every teenaged boy who brought a girl home for the first time. Telling too many of his secrets would make her run away from him. The day would come when he would tell her everything, but today wasn’t that day. They’d just met. He wanted Charlie to like him before he introduced her to the crazy that was his family, and the dysfunction that was his life. For now, he only wanted her to get to know him and like him for who he was. Being mates had brought them together. Her wanting to stay despite the instant bond she felt with him was something completely different. Walking away from a mating bond was detrimental, but it was still doable.

  Even the idea of Charlie walking away made him want to punch people in the throat, starting with himself.

  “Umm, Simon. How often do you bleed out?” Charlie sat in the chair across from him and grabbed a menu.

  Would it be rude or weird if he tried to sit next to instead of across from her?

  Simon cleared his throat and accepted a glass of water a waitress was handing him. “Yeah?”

  “You just answered my question with a question.” She took a sip of water and then began to look through the menu.

  He didn’t know how to answer that. Telling Charlie the only way he was able to stay calm and forget the emotions his soul was trying to toss at him from the attic was a conversation for later.

  Taking a deep breath, he shook his head and tried not to look into her eyes. He wasn’t equipped to talk about this. He should have practiced with Miri. She would have been rude in her answers, but at least he would have been prepared.

  Simon looked around the pub. Half of the people in here were shifters, and none of them needed to know he was missing a soul. “It’s hard to talk about. And I don’t want to do it here where other people might hear.”

  Shrugging, Charlie pointed at something in the menu and gave him a look that did something to his insides. She didn’t care if he wanted to talk about it or not. Her gaze didn’t hold that unhappy look of ‘why don’t you want to share your feelings with me’ crap that some of the women he fucked tried to give him. He was always clear with them and didn’t like it when they attempted to go outside of their designated area. He didn’t share, and he never wanted an emotional relationship.

  It wasn’t his goal to be a dick, but being as old as him came with too many lessons. Getting attached to a woman who wasn’t his mate brought unpleasant consequences that would haunt him forever. He’d tried and even managed to fall in love with a few of the women he’d bedded over the years. But he couldn’t give them children, and he could never have given them the connection they wanted. His heart had always been set on his mate. That was the main reason he’d handed over his soul. He didn’t want to go on a killing spree. That would have been unpleasant for all parties involved, but mostly, he didn’t want to be asleep in the ground somewhere while his mate was waiting for him.

  Charlie reached across the table, placing her warm hand over his. The heat it pumped through his body was almost as warm as his own soul coursing through his existence, and at that moment, he felt it. His grace. It was inside of his mate, calling to him. He’d never believed it when the others spoke of their mates holding onto their grace until it was time to get it back, but there it was inside of Charlie.

  Pinpricks poked the back of his eyeballs at the realization. She was his, and he was hers. They had been designed to match each other perfectly.

  He lifted his thumb and put it over her hand, caressing her knuckles. She had a tattoo around her pointer finger. At first glance, he thought it was some ornate flowery band, but it wasn’t. Beautifully written letters were tattoed around her finger.

  “Simon,” she said, moving his attention from her finger. “Don’t feel guilty if you’re not ready to share stuff with me. We’re all entitled to our secrets. Hell, I’ve got my own problems I’m still trying to deal with.” Worry pooled in her eyes and formed a line in the middle of her forehead. She was keeping something, too. “You can tell me when you’re ready. Or you don’t have to tell me. As long as it doesn’t come back and knock me down, you can keep your past to yourself.”

  Truth resonated with every word she said, and he loved her for it. Loved her?

  “What are you getting?” he asked, lifting his chin toward the special’s menu behind the wall of the bar.

  Crisis averted. Sharing his story about Miri and his missing soul would come after she went at least twenty-four hours without calling him an asshole.

  She smiled. It wasn’t a snarky smile that made him question what she really meant. It was real. “I’m a burger and fries kinda girl. With all the places I’ve been, I’ve learned that you cannot go wrong with burgers and fries. Unless you find a crappy chef who doesn’t give a shit about the food he or she is cooking.”

  Wise choice. It was pretty hard to fuck up a burger. “Well, all the food here is good. Accept when Audra makes Five Bean soup.”

  “Fuck you, Simon,” Audra called out from the bar.

  “I swear she only uses like three kinds of beans,” he whispered to Charlie, goading Audra.

  “I fucking hear you!” his sister yelled.

  “Then stay the fuck out of our conversatio
n!” he yelled back. He knew Audra had been listening. Focusing again on Charlie, he said, “Why do you travel so much? Job? School? Do I need to mind my own business?”

  She removed her hand from his and used it to push her hair away from her eyes. Pressing her lips together, she grabbed the drinks card that sat on the table. “Audra,” she said in a slightly raised tone. “Can I have a strong margarita?”

  “You got it, Sister,” Audra replied from the bar.

  Okay. She didn’t want to talk. That was fair. He wouldn’t push the topic. She’d tell him when she was ready.

  Charlie surprised him when she started talking. “Well, I travel to stay away from my father. I’m pretty sure he’s trying to kill me.” She didn’t meet his gaze as she spoke. Her eyes darted from the row of televisions on the wall to her glass of water, and then to her phone she’d just pulled out of her back pocket. Her words were calm and fearless. “In fact, I know he is.”

  Ice pooled in Simon’s chest at her admission. Her father was trying to kill her? Not the fuck if Simon impaled him first.

  “It’s my fault, really.” She continued to look down at her phone as she talked. “I’m the reason my mother and brother are dead. Everything he wanted to come home to is gone, and I was never good enough for him.” When she finally looked up, a fake smile was plastered on her beautiful face. Her brown eyes were wide with uncertainty but didn’t waver as she looked at him.

  Keep calm. He needed to keep calm and not demand Charlie tell him her father’s full name and fucking date of birth so he could search him out and feed him his own intestines.

  He clasped his hands in front of him and rubbed his thumbs together. Thumbs that would dig into her father’s windpipe as he cut off all circulation to his lungs. “Unless you want me to go kill your father, which I will leave right now and gladly do, I need you to tell me what the hell is going on.”

  The part of him that wanted to be understanding tried to give her the option not to share, but fuck that. The beast inside of him sent a snarl up his throat and through his lips. Not even a near-death experience from harassing Cass would keep him calm now.

  A large margarita appeared on the table. The scent of tequila and Audra’s rage filled Simon’s senses. His sister didn’t say anything, but the look she gave him spoke volumes. Her pupils were black and had taken over the delicate orbs where her soft brown eyes should have been. She was silently letting him know that she would bring hell down on Charlie’s father’s head if anything happened to her. She stormed away and went straight into the kitchen.

  “Charlie—” he began.

  “I should have driven the car,” she said, interrupting him. “My mother was a drunk, and I knew she’d been drinking, but I was tired and I let that be an excuse. My brother had Down Syndrome and never buckled his seatbelt without being reminded. I always did it for him but was tired, and I forgot. He was the most beautiful soul this world ever knew. He was loving and kind, and got a kick out of making people feel like fools when they thought his condition made him less than or incompetent. I have his name tattooed around my finger.” She lifted her hand to show him the ink and then let out a humorless laugh. She pulled a straw from her purse instead of using the wrapped one Audra had sat next to her drink. “I’m a veterinarian, and we had a hurricane back home. I’d been busy at work that day and I knew I was exhausted, but I still went to the rescue society where I volunteered. It was packed, and I had checked and treated so many animals that day, even a few of their owners who didn’t have insurance and didn’t want to go to a hospital. My car had broken down, and mom was supposed to pick me up and drive me and Benjamin home. That was my brother. He lived with me but was visiting with my parents while I worked. The drive was usually less than five minutes, and I would have walked but the streets were flooded.” She took a long pull from her glass, and when she finished, she sat back in her chair and looked Simon in the eyes.

  He wanted to flinch away from her glare. Something painful and frightening looked back at him, and it gutted his insides worse than any wound from Cass or Audra. No matter what his mate was about to tell him, Simon knew without a doubt that she was in no way responsible for their deaths.

  “I got in the car and could smell it, you know? She always smelled sweet when she drank, and for some stupid reason, I made myself believe that the drive wasn’t that far. That I could just close my eyes and rest and shut out the flooded streets and ruined homes. That’s all I wanted to do. Just, shut it out for a few minutes. Eighteen hours with no break or hardly a moment to go to the bathroom. I woke up in the car hanging upside down, held to the seat by my seatbelt. She sideswiped a tree and the car flipped at least three times.” She sniffed and took another sip. “I was stuck in my seatbelt, and when I realized it, the first thing I did was turn around to make sure Benjamin was okay. He wasn’t even in the car anymore. The coroner said he was most likely thrown out when we hit the tree. We hit on his side. But mom… she was practically wrapped around the steering wheel. I knew she was dead as soon as I laid eyes on her. But Benjamin was just gone. Fuck, it took me a minute to get out of the car and look for him.”

  He needed her to stop talking. Her voice should be filled with pain, but there was a void there. Like she believed she was responsible and accepted it. Like she’d carved out a part of herself and gave it away until she could deal with the pain. Just like he’d done with his soul.

  “Charlie. Baby. You don’t have to do this.”

  “It took me a few minutes to find him in the thick cornfield that ran along the side of the road,” she continued, still watching him as she toyed with the straw in her drink. “But I did. He looked like he was sleeping. The coroner said it was internal decapitation. He was dead before he hit the ground. He was the best person on this whole planet. The. Fucking. Best. Can I get a bacon cheeseburger with lettuce on the side,” she said, speaking to the waitress.

  Simon hadn’t even seen the young woman walk up to their table. Charlie asked about what kind of pie they had and settled on chocolate cream. He ordered his usual and was shocked that her voice was neutral and level the whole time she spoke about the death of her mom and brother, and then transitioning to order her food.

  The waitress smiled and walked away.

  “My dad came into my hospital room, drunk as a goddamn fish, and tried to smother me with my pillow. He said I should have driven my brother and me home and made my mom sleep on the couch. That it was my fault, and that if he ever saw me again, he would kill me. And I know he would. He’s done it before.”

  What. The. Fuck.

  That admission stopped Simon right in his tracks. Her father had done it before?

  “What do you mean?” he asked, so entranced in her story he could barely string any thoughts beyond her words together.

  Charlie belted out a laugh. “He got out of prison about three months before the accident. He worked for this family back home who loaned money to people, and if you didn’t have that money when you were supposed to have it, they would send my dad to get it. Hell, he was in jail for assault and battery, but I know he’s killed at least one person. I fucking know it. He swears to the Almighty that he didn’t, but that family deals in drugs, money, and death. I didn’t need him to spell it out.” Her laugh turned into something maniacal that made Simon scared for her. “So you see, Simon. You can keep your secrets. They can’t be as fucked up as mine, but it’s just as well you know early in this. So if you want to find a mate that doesn’t have this shit attached to her, you are welcome to go find someone. Now you and Audra know ‘cause I’m guessing she can hear me.”

  And so could the other dozen or so shifters in the pub, but he would keep that little gem to himself.

  He didn’t know what to say after that. She was well past the point of needing comfort, but she damn sure needed protection.

  A shifter from three booths down from them whispered, “Is she your mate, Simon?”

  Simon looked up and saw one of the boar shifter
s staring at him, yellow and green eyes glaring with his caged beast.

  Simon put his hand over his mouth. “Yeah,” he said, low enough so Charlie couldn’t hear.

  The boar shifter pulled his lips in so far they almost disappeared from his face. “If her father steps foot in New Rose, we’ll fix his dumb ass up just right and keep him for you.”

  Simon met his gaze again and nodded. He even gave him a small smile he reserved for people he didn’t hate. A few of the other shifters chimed in, letting him and Audra know they wouldn’t allow anything to happen to Charlie.

  He expected it from the gorillas and the ravens, even the wolves, but the boar shifter giving that promise without being asked made him remember why he loved this town. Everyone was welcomed here, no matter how messed up their life had been or still was. If you did right by New Rose, New Rose did right by you.

  “Charlie.” Simon reached over and tried to brush his fingers across her face, but she sat back before he made contact. “I’m only going to tell you this once.”

  “More than you bargained for?” she asked. Her posture stiffened like she was ready for rejection.

  He drummed his fingers on the table, hurt that she even thought for a moment that he would cast her out. “I love dealing with more than I bargained for. Makes for a fun afternoon.” That drew a real smile from her. “You need to know that you have never been safer in your entire life. No need to run anymore. You have a home here in New Rose. With me. And if you ever want to leave, I will gladly come with you. Understand?”

  She took in a breath so deep, it filled her lungs and pushed her breasts on top of the table. Simon thought for a moment she’d done it on purpose to pull the conversation away from what he just said, but her face wasn’t full of the joy she had in teasing him.

  “Simon. You don’t need—”

  “Do you understand me?”

  Her graceful throat moved as she swallowed a few times. She licked her lips and grabbed her glass. “I do. Thank you.” She sipped her drink off and on until it was almost gone, and the silence between them was comfortable and effortless “Hey. Can we get our food to go? I’m not feeling so people-y right now. I need quiet.”