by E J Pay
Gwen and I are enjoying one of our last beach days before we have to rest up and be ready for school. I am quietly thinking, letting the last rays of the sun bathe my feet. Gwen is fast asleep on her towel, her floppy beach hat providing ample darkness. I take one last look over the horizon before I know we have to head back to our dorm. In the distance I see a large fin splashing far out in the ocean. What kind of fish is it? I don’t know. For someone who has been as ocean-driven as I have, you’d think I would know every sea creature alive. So, I let myself follow its path, further and further out to sea.
“Evelyn.” I turn my head to see what Gwen needs, but a soft snore is coming from under her hat. “Evelyn.” The voice is louder this time and strangely familiar. I can’t tell if it’s male or female, old or young, just that it is a voice and it is calling my name. I stand, turning left and right and trying to figure out where it is coming from. “Evelyn!” once more, louder this time. And coming from the ocean. My head snaps forward, to where the fins have disappeared beyond the waves. Gwen turns over and yawns and I feel a distinct silence. Whatever was calling me has gone.
“Are you ready to go?” Gwen asks. I stay still for a moment longer, knowing it’s time to go back. But all I want is to figure out who or what was calling to me and what it wants. What it needs. Gwen gives my leg a tap with the back of her hand, bringing me out of my thoughts. “We’d better get back.” I give her a nod and a grunt – it’s all I can do to focus on picking up my bag and towel to head back to our apartment. The voice is gone, but the pull remains.
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When we get back to our place, Gwen and I are greeted by Uncle Russ and his wife, Cynthia. The front room of our little dorm is overflowing with boxes and bags and luggage. We are exchanging greetings and introductions when I hear a huff from the bedrooms on the right.
“Dang! I forgot my traveling makeup bag. Mom!” She appears before her mom can even formulate a response. She is everything TV tells me is beautiful: tall, thin, blonde, blue eyes and a flawless complexion. She has a light tan and a rested look that I envy after her time away in the Bahamas. I am very aware of the breakout on my chin and sunburn on my cheeks as her eyes meet mine. “Oh, hello,” she says in a distracted sort of way – like she’s trying to pull her thoughts together. “I’m Celia, but my friends all call me Ceci. Which one are you?” Uncle Russ steps around a tower of packing boxes and moves to his daughter’s side.
“Ceci, this is Evelyn Marin,” he says as he points my direction, “The two of you used to play together when you were very little. Her parents are lifelong friends of mine.” An uncomfortable look crosses his face as he realizes that only one of my parents is still a lifelong friend. The other is gone.
I spare him the discomfort of having to correct himself and step around the same tower of boxes to extend my hand toward the blonde goddess of a girl at his side. “Nice to meet you – or, I guess, to see you again.” Uncle Russ gives me a grateful smile as Ceci takes my hand.
“Hello, Evelyn,” Ceci says politely as she takes my hand and shakes it. I turn around and gesture toward Gwen who is trapped – boxes on one side, bags in front, and Cynthia Salvesen on the other side.
“This is Gwen. She’s our other roommate. We’ve had the whole week together,” I say.
“Well, it’s nice to meet you, too, Gwen.” Ceci gives a polite smile to Gwen who smiles and waves in return. Ceci returns her attention to her mom. “Mom, I left my traveling makeup bag at home. I think it’s in my bathroom. Could you bring it for me next time you come?” Mrs. Salvesen pulls out a notepad and adds to a list she has going there.
Ceci gives her parents quick hugs as they head out of the apartment for the night. Once they leave, she turns to Gwen and me. “So, can you two help me get settled?” We both say that of course we are happy to help her out when Ceci says, “I hope it isn’t always as messy in here as it was when I got here.” Gwen and I give each other a puzzled look. Sure, the place wasn’t pristine, but we’d only had a few things out. Ceci continues, oblivious to our surprise at her rude question, “I really can’t stand a messy space. It’s so hard to focus properly, you know?” Gwen and I give her a wide-eyed nod of assent, unsure of where this new relationship is headed. Maybe we won’t be as happy as Uncle Russ thinks we will be.
We spend the next two hours helping Ceci put her things away in her two rooms and get settled. When we are done, Gwen suggests we watch a movie together. I have Netflix ready to go on my iPad. Gwen and I have enjoyed a few episodes of “Gilmore Girls” (a guilty pleasure) over the past week. Ceci gives us both a sideways glance.
“Actually,” she says with a note of displeasure in her voice, “I like to go to bed a little early so I can work out in the mornings. I hope it isn’t too loud. I shouldn’t hear the movie from my room, though, if you two are watching with earbuds in your room or something.” She turns and heads to her own room, yawning along the way. “Thanks for the help, girls. I’ll catch you in the morning." She closes the door behind her and in a moment we hear nature sounds coming from her smart speaker.
Gwen gives me an eye-roll and I mouth the word, “Okay….” And I wonder if I really will be friends enough to call her Ceci. Gwen and I may just be stuck with Celia.
Chapter 4
Life with Celia around has turned out to be even worse than what I thought it would be. I am a pretty smart student. I mean I have to work hard at it, but I learn what I need to and do the extra work to make sure I get it right. Celia, however, has the deep pleasure of natural talent (according to her). Her homework takes half the time mine does and she makes sure to check her test grades against mine every time they are released. Really? Must we be so competitive? She never joins in Gwen’s and my study sessions, even though she has Spanish as well. She says she doesn’t need it. Much as she enjoys our being quiet while she sleeps, she, on the other hand, loves watching Netflix on the couch while Gwen and I study in our room.
The rest of my experience at FIU is actually pretty great, so if I have to put up with Celia along the way, I can’t complain. Gwen and I get to enjoy one more trip to the beach before classes start. I don’t hear anyone calling my name this time, so I am more focused on my conversation with Gwen and she tells me more about her life growing up.
“My dad died before I was even born,” Gwen tells me. “I guess my mom couldn’t handle having me on her own, so she dropped me off on my aunt’s doorstep when I was a new baby. My aunt wasn’t thrilled with the idea of raising me either. I should have a complex or something. She didn’t beat me or starve me much or anything, but I knew I wasn’t loved.”
My heart hurts for my friend. How could someone treat another person so bad? Gwen continues, “Eventually I became the babysitter for my aunt as well as the housekeeper. The whole fam went to the beach every year, but I wasn’t allowed to snorkel, surf, or swim. I sat with my cousins on the beach, wiping their butts and noses. But some nights I would sneak out of the hotel we were staying in, just to get a few minutes of quiet at the beach by myself.”
“Gwen, I’m so sorry,” I say, “You are worth so much more than that.”
“Oh, there’s nothing to be sorry about, Evelyn,” she says. “I know they were wrong. I know I didn’t deserve to be treated that way. I chose something different for myself. Earning my way out with good grades and hard work was the best thing I could have done. My aunt will probably miss my work around the house, but it beats her having to feed me and clothe me.”
Gwen stands and stretches, taking in a last, deep breath of the ocean air before heading home. I start my job at Oleta River tomorrow. Gwen will be working on campus in the student services complex, I will be working with Jack, giving tours of the bay. Oleta River State Park is adjacent to the school campus. I’ll be able to walk or ride a bike to work every day. I haven’t told my mom about my job working three days a week on the water. She thinks I’m keeping the park clean. I’ll tell her. Eventually.
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Three weeks of college and I have a good routine forming. I am working on how to make it to the beach more often. I discovered a new route to my English Lit class in an attempt to avoid having to walk with Celia. I’m walking it now and as I round the corner of the Student Services building I run right into James.
James.
I am so shocked that I am speechless for a minute. But just one.
“James! What the heck are you doing here?” I feel blood rushing up my neck and into my face as my blood pressure reminds me that I am angry at my former boyfriend.
“It’s good to see you, too, Eves,” He says with a smooth-talking smile. “I actually go to school here now. Of course, you would know that if you would have responded to my texts.” He gives me a wink and I want to slap him.
“What?!” I say. “When did that happen and WHY?!” I may not be his girlfriend anymore, but I think he should have tried harder to tell me if he was going to MOVE WHERE I LIVE!!!!! I am angry and hurt all over again as James gives me his explanation.
“Well, I was hanging out with my cousins at Corpus Christi for the couple of weeks before school started. We spent a lot of time at the beach, and I had a…change of heart.” He looks at me like I should get what he is saying – like there is some kind of secret we are both in on – and he looks around like he really has something to protect. The only thing he needs to protect is his face because I am about a second away from swinging at it.
“Change of heart?!” I am yelling. “So, you liked the beach and decided to change schools? James, you were going to give Baylor a chance. What kind of chance is a month?” I sound a bit psycho, yelling at my old boyfriend in the middle of campus, but that isn’t bothering me at the moment. “What did your parents say?”
James gives me a big, knowing smile and reaches for my hand. “Mom and Dad are actually supportive. I guess they figured that the time in Texas would eventually teach me a thing or two about what I really want, and they are happy that I changed my mind. They say the ocean air will do me good.”
They think he’s learned what he really wants? What does he really want? Does that mean he wants me? My head is swirling again, just like the last time we were together, and I honestly don’t know what to think. I feel like I’ve been blindsided. I pull my hand away from his, not sure if his grasp is where I belong.
“James, I don’t understand. This doesn’t make any sense. You were so sure you wanted Baylor and now you’re HERE at FIU with ME.” I look at him with wide, hurt eyes, daring him to make sense of anything he is saying to me. Instead, he sighs, and the familiar scent of cinnamon is on the air again. He puts his hands in his pockets, relaxed and sure of himself.
“Ah, don’t worry Evelyn, you’ll get it soon enough, I’m sure.” I don’t have time for this ridiculous conversation. I have a class to get to. James can tell that I want to get moving and says, “Where are you going? Can I walk you to class?”
The last thing I want is to have him walk me to class. He is acting like this was the plan all along and I just forgot. It’s such a 180 from where we were a month ago. This is a strange move for him and it’s leaving me unsettled and nervous. We walk to class in silence – I have too many angry questions in my head to look him in the eye. We reach the liberal arts building and part ways. James says he is heading for the engineering complex, at least his major has stayed the same. As I enter the building, shoulders slumped and thoughts foggy, I realize I am going to have to find a third route to my English class.
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Gwen is my girl and she has my back. When I get back to our apartment, I grab some ice cream from the freezer and two spoons so I can tell her all about seeing James on campus. She freaks out as much as I did.
“Dude, Evelyn,” she says with wide eyes and a low voice. “Do you need me to go and lay some smack down on the boy?”
I’m not sure that ‘laying the smack down’ will be helpful in this situation, but it’s nice to know my options.
I smile at her offer and say, “I don’t think so, but I definitely don’t want to be stuck alone with him.”
“Girl, no,” Gwen says. “You don’t need to be alone with anyone you don’t want to be alone with. But I gotta ask: are you really over him?” I sigh and give her a guilty look. The truth is that I have been thinking about James a lot – why he broke up with me, what he was doing at school, had he met anyone new? I let out a sigh that says it all.
“How about this,” Gwen says, “on Thursday, I’ll walk you to your English class. If you see James, introduce us. I’ll let you know what I think.”
I am so relieved that I practically jump onto Gwen’s lap, praising her for being such a good roommate. My ice cream spoon falls into her hair, a big blob rolling down her cheek. We both start laughing and the worry melts away. Then we hear a noise from Celia’s room and she stumbles out of her doorway, her eye mask on her forehead and her hair a crazy mess.
“Oh my gosh, you guys,” she says in a groggy tone, “What the heck is going on?” Celia is quite grumpy when she is awakened from a deep sleep. “Can’t you take it somewhere else?” She stumbles back into her room and Gwen and I burst out laughing again. Celia slams her door and turns her nature sounds up full volume.
Chapter 5
I am so distracted at work on Wednesday, that I miss things Jack says to me at least three times. “Are you feeling okay?” he finally asks as we are loading up the kayaks. “You’re having a hard time holding a conversation.”
“Yeah, sorry. I’m fine,” I say. “I’m just stuck on a school thing.” I’m a terrible liar, but Jack plays along.
“Is it something I can help with,” he offers. “I’m pretty good at a lot of that stuff, except maybe the math. You might have to hire out if it’s math.” I smile at his joke and let the butterflies play around in my stomach. I’ve enjoyed the time we’ve had together this past month. We work together 3 or 4 times a week and when we aren’t leading tours of the bay, we have extra time to talk and get to know each other. I’m really starting to like Jack. He’s funny. He’s respectful. I know he likes me, but this thing with James just has me feeling off.
“Just my luck,” I say, “It is math.”
“My loss,” he says, “Maybe we could get together another time. You know, outside of work.” He is asking me on a date. My attention is suddenly riveted on Jack and Jack only.
“Yeah, that would be great,” I say. “What did you have in mind?”
“Well, we’ve talked a lot about scuba diving. I was thinking it might be time for me to teach you.”
Scuba diving? Seriously, I LOVE the idea. And learning from Jack? What could be better? We make plans for several lessons/dates for the next few weeks and I go home feeling much better about my love life.
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Two days ago, I was nervous about running into James again. Then I was looking forward to seeing him. Yesterday I forgot completely about him, but today I am back to dreading it. At least I’ll have Gwen to meet him and give me her read on the situation. He hasn’t messaged me at all and I am starting to wonder if I had a hallucination or something. I meet up with Gwen after avoiding Princess Celia, and together we head to the liberal arts offices. Just like Tuesday, when we round the corner of the Student Services building, I see James. I don’t literally run into him this time, but he is on his way to where Gwen and I are standing.
“There he is,” I whisper to Gwen. She looks up and I think I see a hint of surprise on her face.
“That’s James?” she asks. I want to ask her why she is so surprised, but James reaches us first.
“Hey, Eves,” he says, moving into that old familiar way of addressing me. He touches my shoulder and says, “I�
�m glad to see you again. I have something I want to talk to you about. I know it ended awkwardly the other day.” James turns to see Gwen at my side, and a look of surprise and recognition crosses his face, he quickly covers it up with a smile. “Who’s your friend?”
“My name is Gwen. I’m Evelyn’s roommate,” she says. James’ face is unreadable.
“Well, it was nice to meet you, Gwen,” James turns to talk to me but addresses us both. “I’m sorry, I wish I could walk you two to class, but I am a little late for mine. Maybe some other time.” And then he is gone. What did he want to talk about? I stand there, speechless, then turn to Gwen. She looks like she is going to be sick. I have no clue what to say. I reach toward her to ask if she’s alright and she takes a step back.
“Well, that was weird,” she says.
“Yeah…” I agree, but I let my words hang in the air. It looks like there is something more she has to say. She clears her throat like she is ready to let it all out – whatever it is that she saw in James, but instead she adjusts her backpack.
“Let’s talk about it later. I’d better be going to my class since there isn’t anything more to see here.”
“Okay,” I respond. Gwen turns and leaves almost as quickly as James did. “See ya,” I call to her as she walks away. Without turning around, she gives me a small wave of her hand, and I am left standing alone.
What just happened? My old boyfriend and new roommate actually know each other? They both tried to hide it, but they really aren’t good actors. Where did they meet and how? What is going on with them? Why not just say they already know each other? I am super lost, and I have more and more questions in a place where I am supposed to be finding answers.
