by E J Pay
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I arrive at our apartment a little later than usual. I had some studying to do in the library once my classes were done. I’m not ready to ask Gwen why she was so stand-offish today and how she knows James. What if the answers are things I don’t want to hear? What if they have a history together? Gwen must have the same kind of feelings because she isn’t home yet either. I find a note she left for me saying that she has to work extra hours today. She says I get to eat her leftover cake in the fridge. I roll my eyes and shake my head, irritated that she would assume I need to binge my way through my emotions. I grab the cake anyway. I eat quickly so I can head to work. I love it there. The work is nice, but the environment is exactly why I came to Florida in the first place. It is as close to the open ocean as I can get.
I have had enough of the drama of living. I want the answers I came here seeking. I have hardly slept since moving to Florida. I’ve just been busy and adjusting to life on my own. I’ve had ups and downs with boyfriends and roommates. I haven’t had my dream once since arriving and I am beginning to miss it. I want my dream to speak to me again. I cannot go to work without feeling the pull of the water beneath my feet. I run out the door, eager to get to my job, and Jack, again.
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It’s been three weeks since my encounter with James and Gwen. James has sent a few messages, but I continue to delete them. It’s become a habit now. When I asked Gwen what she thought of James, she said he seemed like just a normal jerk of a guy. She told me I should just try to avoid him. I have been, but I don’t understand why Gwen has been avoiding me. It feels like she is angry with me or hiding something from me or both. She has been closing herself in her room to study alone and finding different routes to her classes. She has picked up a few more hours at work and I have begun to do the same. Life in the apartment is lonely without someone to talk to, two roommates who don’t want to be around me, and an ex-boyfriend who won’t leave me alone. I don’t want my loneliness to lead me back into a relationship with James, so I have been putting in extra hours at work, too.
At least I have Jack to look forward to. Jack’s sun-bleached hair is a little fried from a lifetime of being in the ocean, but the result is the messy, care-free style of a surfer. His skin is a deep gold and his eyes a light green. He is tall and muscular and has a way of making me feel like I am suddenly incapable of speech. I love having him as my scuba instructor. My first lesson covers the basics – how to put my gear on and how to use it. We really only have about ten minutes in the water. But the second lesson is better. We talk a lot about diving at work – going over equipment use and hand signals – so I only need minimal help getting ready. This weekend of lessons will be killer hot outside. The heat is sweltering. The ocean is the only place anyone would want to be.
The weather has been rough with several massive storms threatening the Florida coastline, and that ruins some planned scuba diving sessions. But today, I could not have asked for better weather. The temperature is a scorching 95 degrees, there is very little wind, and not a cloud in the sky. The waters are gentle and there is no threat of a storm to be seen. The last tour for the day has just finished up, so Jack and I get in our gear and head out.
The water is glorious today and being out on the open water with Jack, the wind in my face and sun on my skin, is helping me let go of my troubles. We make our way to the best spot (according to Jack) and prepare for the dive. The initial pressure I feel as I dive deeper into the water subsides after only a short time, so I can really enjoy the experience. It’s becoming familiar to me to be underwater for a long time. Jack and I swim and dive for what feels like hours. We have about 15 minutes of air left and are ready to head back up to the surface when Jack holds out his hand, fingers close together, palm down, thumb out and begins to rock his hand from side to side. I know immediately that he is telling me something is wrong. I keep my eyes on him as he slowly looks around the water. Fear grips my stomach as Jack grasps his arm and points to my left. The sign for DANGER. Before I can turn to see what is coming, a huge current of water makes its way toward me. I am suddenly caught in the current and cannot break free. The line connecting me to Jack snaps and I am left without my protector and teacher. What am I supposed to do?
I relax my body, hoping that I will be carried to the surface by the raging current. Instead, I slam into something fleshy that literally knocks the wind out of me. My diving regulator is yanked from my mouth. I cannot see where it went and I grasp around, frantically searching for the tubing attached to its end. It feels like an eternity of being tossed in a washing machine. I keep hitting things that I assume are fish as panic settles in. I know I need air and I need it fast. I work like mad to get my regulator back to my mouth, but when I finally succeed, it is no use – the air tank is empty. I frantically work to free myself from my scuba gear, hoping it will help me easily float to the surface, but I am trapped in the current and cannot get out.
I am finally knocked free of the current only to find that my scuba fins have been impaled by coral. I reach for my feet to free myself, but it is too late. My head is pounding, my chest burning, and my vision is blurred. I just need air.
“Evelyn.”
As clear as if someone is seated next to me and trying to get my attention, I hear my name.
“Evelyn, breathe.”
In an involuntary motion, my mouth opens wide, breathing out the bad air stuck inside of me and I inhale. My lungs quickly fill with water and I wait for the pain of drowning. But it doesn’t come. Instead, my headache subsides and my vision clears. In a second involuntary motion, I force the water out of my lungs and inhale again. This time my mind is much clearer. I lunge for my feet again, remove my scuba fins and make my way to the surface. Like a miracle from Heaven, I am only a hundred yards or so away from the diving boat. I can see Jack wildly throwing off his gear as his eyes search the water around him. His eyes catch sight of me and he immediately jumps into the driver’s seat of the little boat and heads toward me.
Meanwhile, I am still bobbing in and out of the water and breathing a mixture of water and air. It is uncomfortable, but I’m not in real pain and I still have my wits about me. Jack steers the boat along-side me, kills the engine and pulls me by the shoulders into the boat. I am weak and shaken, so I’m not much help to him. As soon as I can move my body, I get on all fours on deck and spew out the water that remains in my lungs. Jack is kneeling next to me and I could not be more humiliated.
“Evelyn, are you alright? Can you hear me? Can you see me? How many fingers am I holding up?” I can hear Jack, though it sounds muffled. I can see him. Three fingers.
“What happened out there?” I finally get out.
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” is Jack’s initial response. Jack’s whole life has been spent in the ocean. For him to see something new is disconcerting. “Something inside me didn’t feel right,” he continues, “I looked around to see if something was wrong and all I could see was a surging wall of water heading toward us. Once it caught you, it turned and headed in a new direction. I got a slap in the face by some fish. I went black for an instant and you were gone. As soon as I came to, I put my regulator back in my mouth and headed to the boat so I could search for you and call for help. I have never been so happy to see anything come out of that water in my life.” Jack is holding me tight to him at this point. I am grateful to be alive and very happy to be held by Jack. He gives me a hard kiss on the forehead and all of my thoughts focus on the pressure of his lips on my skin. I have a quick image of how nice it would be to be kissed on the lips by Jack, but I have just as quick a reminder that I just threw up.
“What happened to you?” he asks, a heavy worry in his tone. I relate everything to him…even the part about breathing water – some fluke thing that happens right before somebody drowns, but Jack’s face convinces me otherwise.
“No Evelyn. People d
on’t breathe water and feel just fine.” He stares into my eyes, trying to read something in them. “Maybe you were unconscious or something.” He looks unconvinced, but lets out a sigh and continues, “Either way, I’m glad you’re safe. Let’s get you to the lifeguard station and have you checked out. We need to see if you need to go to the hospital.” I sit back against the side of the boat as Jack starts its engine again and heads to the shore. I feel the coldness of the air against my damp skin, but I am somehow unaffected by it. My teeth don’t chatter, and I don’t have any goosebumps. My mind is so consumed by the experience that I relive it over and over on our way to shore. The current. The coral. Fish slapping against my face. Breathing without air. My name.
Chapter 6
Thankfully, the trip to the lifeguards is enough to convince Jack and me that I am fine, at least physically. He drives me home and makes sure I have something to eat before heading home himself. My mom would freak if she knew where I’d been and what happened to me. She would be on a plane to Florida so fast. In my text to her tonight, I keep it cool. I tell her about my classes and even about seeing James here. Nothing at all about my job. She thinks I work in the park museum. She is surprised to hear about James, though, and wants to know how I feel about it. I answer honestly. I don’t know.
I’m getting in my comfy clothes to watch Netflix until I fall asleep or my roommates get home, but there is a knock at my door. I get up to answer it. It’s James.
“James.” Disbelief is written all over my face and in my voice. How did he know where to find me? I find my wits enough to ask questions. “What are you doing here? How did you know where I live?”
James looks at me with a sheepish gaze. It’s a look I am familiar with. He always used it whenever we argued and he wanted to make up. Even though I am confused and mad, I can’t help but be willing to hear him out. “Evelyn, I know you have a lot of questions for me,” he’s got that right, “and I also know that you need somebody to talk to right now.” Somebody to talk to? Does he honestly think I want to talk to him about our breakup?!
There’s no way he knows anything else that is on my mind.
“James, I’m sorry. You’ve caught me off guard. I just started studying for tomorrow’s biology exam.” I’m mad and James knows it. I keep up the lie, both of us knowing I’m making it up as I go. “I can’t talk right now. Maybe we can get lunch or something tomorrow.”
He lifts his hand and rests it on the door, making his biceps stretch out his shirtsleeve. “Evelyn, this can’t wait. I know what happened to you in the water today.”
Wait, what? What does he know about what happened to me today? Does he know Jack or something? Maybe he knows one of the lifeguards at the station.
“James, I…” I begin and he takes me by the hand. It’s been so long since I laced my fingers through his, and I long for the warmth of it.
“I have to show you something,” he says, “We need to go to the beach. It’s not that far. We can talk on the way if you want to.”
Six hours ago, there was nothing I would want less than to talk with James. But feeling his rough fingers rub against mine, in this moment I want that soothing and familiar relationship again. I agree to go with him and together we head out.
Hand in hand, I walk with James in silence. It takes forever to get to Pier Park and by the time we do, it is well past sunset. There is barely a glimmer of orange on the horizon ahead of us. The air is cooler and the sand is inviting. I take off my flip-flops and let the powdery goodness squeeze through my toes and rub the soles of my feet. There are only a few late day stragglers on the beach. Most of them are couples whose minds are occupied in quiet conversation with each other. Some are kissing. I feel a flush come to my cheeks as I think of the time I’ve spent kissing James. After all I have felt about him and shared with him, I feel like I should be able to tell him what is on my mind.
“James,” I say as I turn to face him, “I am so confused. I can’t figure out why you are even here in Florida. It doesn’t make any sense to me. And now you’re back to holding my hand. Am I supposed to think you want to date again? I have no idea what to think.”
James is looking out at the ocean, he does not even turn when I speak to him. His mind is on something far away. “Evelyn, I can answer all of your questions with a long-winded speech, or I can show you something that will help you understand even faster. Can I show you Evelyn?” He turns to face me and his eyes are so intent that I can read his thoughts. He is pulling me in. I nod and he leads me to the water’s edge. “Just sit down and wait right here,” he says.
As I sit down, I dig my toes into the white, warm sand, comforted by that feeling of heat beneath my feet. When I look up, James is removing his shoes and shirt. I feel a flush of heat rushing through my chest and neck. James has gotten a little tan since I last saw him swimming. He is still muscular as ever and I am finding it difficult to not stare.
Now that he has stripped down to his shorts, he heads straight into the water. He walks out slowly until he is up to his waist in the ocean. He looks like he is playing with the water with his fingertips. Then he turns to see if I am watching him. He gives me a smile and a wave. I wave back and he dives under the water.
At first, I think he is just dunking his head under to get it wet, but then a minute goes by without him resurfacing. I get up and strain my eyes to see if I can make him out. Two minutes. I’m getting anxious and move my visual search to the surrounding shoreline. Maybe he came up out of the water somewhere else. Three minutes. I start calling out his name, hoping that he will call back. No response. Another thirty seconds. I head into the waves, looking as best as I can into the water to see some sign of James. Five minutes.
I turn around and head back to shore for help. All of a sudden, something grabs my ankle and I go under. Whatever it is, it has a strong hold on me. I didn’t take a breath before falling into the water, so I try standing up for air. Something else grabs me just below the knee and pulls me farther into the ocean, still underwater. I am trying to not freak out. I’ve already had one run-in with the ocean today and I don’t want to have another.
I kick my feet at whatever has ahold of me and it lets me go. I swim up and get my head out of the water, taking a huge breath. I’m ready to scream for help when the thing grabs me again, this time around my waist. It drags me very quickly down and away from the shoreline. I kick and hit and scratch as best as I can to get out of its grasp. I can feel that burning need for air coming again. All my fighting is not helping the situation. I cannot see what or who has me, I can only feel it holding tightly to my body. I feel the pounding headache again. Out of instinct, I let out a scream, but I am still underwater. I struggle for breath again and wait for the pain. Once again it does not come. I exhale the water and inhale it again. The headache subsides and the burning in my lungs disappears. It is replaced by a cooling sensation that fills my chest. I relax, stop fighting, and start to breathe.
The iron grasp around my waist loosens and I allow myself to experience this new sensation. My eyes adjust to what is around me. I can see clearly in the dark water. I see tiny little fish swimming to my left and their slightly larger predators to my right. Seashells are scattered on the ocean floor beneath my feet and I realize I am not being held by something but someone. James is smiling at me UNDERWATER and has his hands on either side of my waist.
He pulls me closer to him, the heat of his body barely noticeable in the warm Atlantic Sea, and he kisses me softly. It is a new sensation even though I’ve done it countless times. The feel of his lips on mine, salty water swirling around my mouth, tiny bubbles floating off our skin. I run my fingers up his muscled arms, and nothing else that happened in my day matters anymore. I am underwater in some magical moment, and I am loving it.
After a moment of pleasure, James pulls away and smiles at me.
“Well, what do you think?” I blink to clear my mind. I can hear him? We are underwater, but his voice sounds just like it does on
land. Nothing is muffled. Everything is clear. None of it makes sense, but that doesn’t bother me right now. I’ll try talking too.
“I don’t know what to think. How did you know this would happen? What is happening anyway?” I pull my eyes away from his face and his lips to take in the scene around us. “Am I dreaming?”
James holds me tighter. “You aren’t dreaming at all. You are actually quite special, Evelyn Marin.” He kisses me again and I don’t have any more questions.
Chapter 7
I stretch lazily in my bed as I think over the last few weeks. James and I spent the rest of that first night sitting with our feet dangling over the edge of the pier, holding hands and talking about what happened to him and what happened to me. James discovered this new water ability while in Corpus Christi. His cousin knocked him off a jet ski and James breathed as soon as his body hit the water. He thought he would drown after inhaling water, but he was fine. He didn’t tell anyone about his experience, but every time he went to the ocean with his cousins, he tested out breathing. James knew he couldn’t stay in Texas with what he discovered. He needed to find a school on the water. Since I was at FIU, he thought he would try here first and he was accepted. The texts were to try to tell me what was going on. But he also knew he’d been a top-rate jerk and I wouldn’t want to talk to him right away. When he finally bumped into me at the school, he had known where I was for a couple of weeks. He wanted to give me space to be ready to see him.
We stayed out all that night, talking about what we can now do and what our relationship can be. We ended the night with a kiss, and when my tired head hit the pillow, I was out.
Since that night, I have been going to school and work and spending time with James. I’ve had just a few conversations with Gwen. She has been keeping busy as well and continues to close herself in her room when she’s home. I miss the friendship we started at the beginning of the school year. I don’t remember whatever it was that came between us in the first place.
