Money Can't Buy Love

by Brooklyn June L.J. Miller



  Money Can't Buy Love

  Written By: June

  Money Can't Buy Love

  June Miller

  Copyright L. Miller 2013

  FOURSHADOUGH PUBLISHING

  Presents

  Money Can't Buy Love

  Written by:

  JUNE

  VICTOR

  This right here is probably gonna make some of the females tight and make me look soft to some of the fellas but fuck it, it is what it is. There needs to be some explanation for how fucked up relationships evolve and why. Females play a lot of silly ass games when they fall in love or think they have a good man, dudes on the other hand often don't pay attention to their woman and slip during the relationship because they become complacent. Females always take it upon themselves to blame the man for not being there, abandoning her with the kids, cheating on her with her friend or cousin who looks a whole lot better than her, and the worst of them all, smacking the shit outta her for no reason at all. Guys are just looking for some good 'ole peace and quiet. I'm a realist and probably the most hated and loved muhfuckin' man on the planet because of how real I keep shit. Every woman wants to know the key to a successful relationship but is not willing to play their respective roles in order to obtain it. This is our story told from different points of views so if you team Victor you'll understand why I'm writing this and if you're team Charmaine you'll understand her, in the end it's all about trust, loyalty and understanding. Read our story with an open mind and let me know what you think in the end by contacting the author. My name is Victor.

  Today I'm sitting down with my head in my hands and I'm crying so fucking hard because this time she's really gone. I came in from the club my usual time, almost day break, and like always I was twisted off that good Afghan my man Les always has on deck and that nasty ass Raspberry Ciroc. When I put the key in the door I tried to get my lie straight that I rehearsed when Les dropped me off. He don't know Charmaine really don't like when I hang out like this every weekend because I never told him. If I told him, my whole team would clown me, shit I'm their boss, how the fuck they gonna respect me if I don't have my bitch on smash. So now I'm fumbling putting the key in the door and when I finally get it in the lock I push the door open and damn near fall down but I catch myself before I kiss the floor. I don't turn on the lights in the hallway because I navigated this route every weekend, I knew it by heart. I'm feeling on the walls as I make my way pass the bathroom and stop by the kitchen, I should get me a Corona out the fridge to balance me out a little from all the toxins in my system. I grabbed a cold bottle out the fridge and head towards our bedroom. The lights are all off but there's a hint of day light coming through those awful green and burgundy curtains Charmaine put up. I hate them shits, she always looking through magazines and trying to replicate some celebrity bitch's living room or bedroom decor. I shake my head as I grabbed the door knob to the bedroom. I turn it softly so it doesn't make a sound and I hope like hell her ass is asleep. I pushed the door open getting ready to plead my case if she's up but what I saw was not what I wanted to see. I ran over to the closet and opened it only to find my shit thrown on the floor but all her shit was gone, her shoes, her clothes and her furs. I looked on top of the shelf and when I saw her beloved Gucci, Louis Vutton and Michael Kors bags gone, I knew she really dipped out on me. I went in the bathroom, if her toothbrush was gone then it would be no doubt that it was a wrap and sure enough the toothbrush was gone and she took my fucking toothpaste. She wrote some foul shit on the mirror in red lipstick, "NOW IT'S YOUR TURN TO GUESS WHERE I'M AT! FUCK YOU VIC!"

  I'm not gon' lie, I'm fucked up behind that shit. I guess she got tired but what the fuck, I took care of her. She didn't have to work, she didn't have to cook, she didn't have to do shit but shop and stay fly. What broad don't like that life? So what I went out every weekend and hugged the block on the weekdays? She met me like that, she knew I was a boss when she met me that night at the club. I was popping bottles, I had mad bitches around me, I was blowing stacks in the VIP section and I called her over to join me. She came right? We fucked that same night and she became my girl soon after. I promised her I would take care of her and that's what I did. So why the fuck she flipping all of the sudden? All the shit she took out of here, I paid for it; she so foul, she could have least left my fucking toothpaste. I'm hurting like a muhfucka right now and I can't help it, I love Charmaine, she got that bubble most dudes jerk off to from a porn flick. Her skin was a rich dark chocolate and her hips was something crazy like somebody blew air into her like a blow up doll. She ain't have the prettiest face and was a little on the chunky side but she was mine and I loved every inch of my queen.

  The tears won't stop falling but I'm going to say something, I don't care what no muhfucka say, this shit hurts like a muhfucka! I don't know how to stop myself from crying, I ain't never cried like this, last time was when they murked the homie Turret down in D.C. for all them bodies he was leaving around on the West side. This a numbing pain I'm feeling, I can't really describe it and I don't even care that snot running out my nose. Oh this some sad shit today. I pulled my Galaxy out my front pocket and dialed Char's number and put the speaker on. I tried to hush my tears because I don't need her hearing me crying like no bitch. The shit rang out so I was going to leave a message but the message box was full to capacity and I couldn't leave one. I threw my phone across the room and it shattered in a thousand pieces. Now why the fuck did I just do that? Damn Vic, you bugging my dude, I gotta calm down and breathe easy. I took off my shirt and stood in the mirror and looked at myself, I looked stupid with snot running out my nose and my tear soaked face was wet and shiny like patent leather. What was wrong with me? I'm 5'10, sharp cut with sick waves, strong cheek bones, full kissable lips, no facial hair and a bricked out frame from going to Planet Fitness four times a week. I turned around and sat down on our king sized bed and continued crying, damn I just lost the only woman I ever truly loved.

  CHARMAINE

  "See this the shit I'm talking 'bout!" I said when I looked at the Sony clock radio telling me it's 4:00 am. "Vic think I'm playing with him. This time when he walk through the fucking door this bitch gon' be empty!"

  I jumped out the bed and went to my closet and pulled every stitch of clothing I bought with his money and put it on the bed then I took my coats, shoe boxes and my bags. He don't know about that Hermes bag I just bought for $5,000.00 but he'll know about that and the 25 stacks I'm gon' take out the safe to hold me down until I can get my shit back popping. I don' told that muhfucka I'm tired of just seeing him a couple of hours out the week. This muhfucka ain't never home, he out during the week with his so called team and they on the block getting that 'fetti' as he call it and he comes in like 2 or 3 in the morning and then on the weekends he at different clubs strolling in here 4 and 5 o'clock in the morning like the club just let out. I know his trifling ass be out fucking them thirsty bitches who think they gonna luck up and get a muhfucka that chasing that paper but what them dumb bitches don't know is that when they finally get one, it's just like being alone. I laugh at that because that's not how I got him, he approached me in a club one night and he invited me over to his table in the VIP so I went. Shit, it was free drinks over there too, please. Anyway, I wasn't even paying him no real mind because he had so many starving bitches hanging around I didn't want to be one of his groupies. I knew who he was, Vic, every bitch knew him and what he do but I wasn't hardly impressed. I run two nail salons and I sell homemade jewelry, it doesn't bring in as much cash as he do but I'm good because I stacked a couple racks since I been with him.

  "I'm going to take this muhfucka's toothpaste too." I threw it in the bag with all my cosmetics, aroma ther
apy candles and toiletries from Victoria's Secret and the Home Goods store. "He loves that Crest with the baking soda in it, he says it shines his fronts up really nice."

  As I packed away all my shit I could tell I was going to have to make multiple trips to get everything into my Infiniti truck. It's a huge ass truck, he bought it for me because I'm not that great of a driver so he said a truck that size would give me better leverage on the streets because muhfuckas would give me the right of way. He fitted it out with the crash bars all around it and it's almost like an armored truck to me. I grabbed the first bundle of clothing and ran out of his condo he swears he bought for us but it's more like a resting place for him. He didn't help me decorate shit, all he did was give me the money and told me he 'trusts my taste'. I asked him to just come with me so we can pick stuff out together and this muhfucka couldn't do that much so guess what I did? I went and bought the ugliest living room furniture I could find and the ugliest curtains they had and put it in the living room. Do you know this muhfucka didn't even say shit, I mean, who wouldn't notice them ugly ass curtains with some orange and blue couches that didn't match? This dude was either color blind or completely brain dead from all the weed and liquor in his system. I opened the back door of my truck and threw my items on the back seat, I have three rows in it so I knew I would have room for the rest of my shit. It was cool out and I briefly wondered what he was doing while I was planning my escape from him.

  Don't get me wrong now, I love Vic, I really do, I mean in the beginning he was such a good liar, he fooled me. In the club that night he was drawn to me because I wasn't sweating him like them other birds and he said he liked that characteristic in me because it meant I didn't want him for his money and prestige. He was so full of himself, uggh. I admit, I fucked him that night but in my defense, I was drunk as a bitch that took a roofie and he had the most unbelievable body I had ever witnessed in my drunken stupor. After we fucked, I didn't expect anything from him, no commitment or anything and I sure wasn't going to be a booty call so I pegged it as a one night stand. I enjoyed myself and I'm sure he did to but the muhfucka started blowing my phone up like every day after that asking me dumb shit like, "Why you ain't call me back? You didn't like it? Why you acting like you not feeling me?" I laugh when I think of those days because it was so cute to see him acting other than what would be expected of him. I finally gave in and let him take me out and he didn't hit the skins after dinner either. We dated for a couple more months and then he asked me why I let him hit it the first night and I told him the truth, 'because I was drunk' then he start ordering more liquor, he was funny like that. I told him I didn't want to be in no relationship that wasn't going to go anywhere, been there and done that. He promised me believable lies that would make any girl say yes and he even acted on them in the beginning but like always once they feel you love them more than hanging with your girls, they flip the switch and turn into that other muhfucka you warned them about. In the beginning he used to come home early three days out the week and we would go out to eat or I would cook for him, we would watch movies or go out to the movies or he would just chill with me and talk about what was going on. I really miss those days but I'm telling you, I won't settle for nothing less than what I'm worth. I love me some Vic but I love Char just a little bit more. I'm not the kind of girl that gets caught up in my emotions for a man, it's simple to me, if you love me change for me.

  I finished packing the rest of my shit and I pulled out my Iphone and called my girl Gertrude, I know, she got an ugly ass name but she is just sweet as pie. I tried to shorten that shit to see if sounded better but Gert is even worse but it stuck. When I told her I was leaving Vic she already went into her crying fit about how nice a couple we make and how she thought we was getting married because we're so in love and all that corny shit. I told her to keep calling my phone and leaving messages until my voicemail was full so he wouldn't be able to leave me a message. You know we think of some devious shit to make a muhfucka go crazy. She didn't want to do it at first because she wanted me to try to work it out with him for the eleventeeth time. See, Gert is not like the normal hating bitches most females call friends, you know, the one that smile and cheese all in your face and as soon as you cough that there's a problem with your man they telling you to leave and as soon as you do, they shoving his dick in their mouth. Not Gert baby, she true blue and genuinely wants me to be happy and knows Vic is really a good man at heart and needs a little tweaking and is just being a dick head right now. After she agreed, I looked around the condo to make sure I left no trace that I've ever lived there except that ugly ass living room furniture and curtains, yuck. I didn't see anything and then I was about to leave then you know what happens, I had to do something that would at least make him feel some of the pain I've been going through so I went into the bathroom and pulled out my porno red MAC lipstick and scribbled some words across the mirror.

  "That should get up under his skin!" I said as I turned around and danced my fat unhappy ass out the door.

  VICTOR

  By the time I woke up, the sun was baking me. I forgot to mention she took the bedroom curtains too. I checked my pockets for my Galaxy and then remembered the dumb shit I did. I sat up and grabbed the cordless phone off the empty night stand and was about to dial her number and realized I didn't know that shit by heart. I shook my head and laughed to myself, I had to in order to keep from crying. I took a chance and pulled open the dresser drawer, hoping to see something of hers but of course she made sure she didn't leave nothing behind, not even a fucking bobby pin.

  I'm going to admit I think I know why Charmaine left I just didn't think she would. I guess when a woman's really fed up ain't shit you can do or say at that moment. I can't sit here and waste my day away, I mean if she didn't want to be here what can I do to get her to come back? Crying ain't gon' cut it and flipping out is out of the question. I need to get myself together and try and act like it's a normal day. I had to shake my head at that because how the fuck is it a normal day when I don't even have a fucking tube of toothpaste!

  I went into the kitchen and looked in the refrigerator and pulled out an open box of baking soda then went into my bathroom to brush my teeth. I grabbed my tooth brush and I had the weirdest thought in my head about Charmaine cleaning the toilet bowl with it. I flicked the bristles just to be sure they were still dry then brushed my jibbs. I gargled with cold water and looked in the graffiti covered mirror and smiled showing my sparkling diamond fronts. I splashed water on my face then I turned the shower on. I disrobed and jumped in the lukewarm water and looked around for soap and wouldn't you know it, she took that shit too. I grabbed some liquid soap and squeezed it on my rag and lathered my body up and took the quickest shower I've ever had. I honestly felt a little better after that semi cold shower, it kind of washed away some of the hurt...I'm lying, I still feel fucked up.

  I got dressed, put on a pair of fresh construction Tims out the box, I kept four or five of them on deck. I hated when they got scuffed up. I put on a pair of loose fitting jeans and threw on a thin sweat shirt and grabbed my girl and stuffed her in my waist. If there was one girl I didn't have to worry about leaving me, it was my 'Nina' known to the masses as nine millimeter. I snatched my keys off the dresser and I bolted out the door and headed to my G500 Benz SUV. I copped the ugliest truck they ever made because muhfuckas wasn't riding it in the hood and because I knew they couldn't afford it. I hit the remote and jumped into the driver's side of the $100,000.00 square truck and started the engine. When it came to life I couldn't move because of all songs to be playing, "Song Cry" by my man Jigga was playing and it made me think of Charmaine. I'm not gonna front, I got a little misty eyed but after he spit a few bars I pulled out my parking spot in the garage and headed to the T Mobile store downtown to get another phone then I was gonna hit the block and put my mind on my work, at least that's what I planned.

  CHARMAINE

  It's been 8 hours, 20 minutes and 21, 22, 23 seco
nds and counting since I left the love of my life. This shit was harder than I thought. I'm fighting with myself not to call this muhfucka because I don't wanna look like I'm weak. Shit! Why did I leave my baby, I shoulda stayed and asked him one final time to stop his shit. NO! I did the right thing, if I didn't leave he would still be doing the same dumb shit that got me upset in the first place, I did right by leaving but I'm missing him so much right now. The tears won't stop flowing. Why do we make decisions that ultimately hurt us so bad? It seems like I'm more hurt leaving him instead of for the shit he did. Was the shit he did really all that bad? Maybe Gert is right.

  "Here, drink some of this Chamomile tea Char. It should relax you a little." Gert said as she handed me a steaming cup on a small saucer.

  "Thanks girl. I swear my mind is playing games with me and I don't know which side is winning." I took the tea and blew into the cup before taking a sip.

  "Girl tell me about it. I know that feeling all too well. It's been three years and twenty six days since me and Louie been broke up and I still can't get that fool out my damn head for the life of me." Gert admitted.

  "Damn! I hope Vic don't rent space in my fucking head that long. I might need that muhfucka to pay storage fees if he do!" I joked.

  "So now that you cried and cussed his name, you ready to tell me what happened between you and Mr. Victor?"

  Gert knew me so well. She knew that my emotions were all mushy and twisted like corkscrew noodles and I needed to vent before I could sit back and really assess what the real problem was. I looked up at her and my eyes suddenly began to water again, I couldn't help it, this shit was fucking me up. And in true friend form, Gert came over and hugged me and I could see the tears welling up in her eyes. That's why I love my bitch right there, she don't give a fuck what my problem is, if it hurts me it hurts her like we identical twins.

  "Come on Char, tell me what's wrong girl. I know it ain't just about him coming in late from the club. Is he fucking another bitch?"

  That one didn't even cross my up mind. I laughed because that would be the best reason to leave that muhfucka but that wasn't my reason but that was something I definitely needed to address, you know, just in case.

  "He probably is slinging that long, thick hooked dick in one of those nasty smuts that be chasing behind him but that's not why I left." Just thinking about that monster dick of his made Ms. Kitty do a mini somersault and moistened my panty liner.

  "Then what is it sis? I don't wanna keep guessing and giving you more shit to think about that don't have nothing to do with why you left."

  I chuckled because that's exactly what was happening.

  "I'm pregnant Gert. I'm pregnant by a drug dealing fool!"

  "Awwww." Gert hugged me tight and it felt so warm and inviting and kind of took that edge of confusion off me for the first time. "That's not such a bad thing, is it?"

  "For most brain dead bitches, no, it wouldn't be a bad thing to be pregnant by one of the biggest dealers in the hood but for a boss bitch like me, it's a fucking problem!" I was being dramatic and I knew it but I was also very serious. "I'm only 25 Gert and this muhfucka already 27 pushing 20. He's not responsible, he can't even do the simple shit I ask him to do with me as a couple how the fuck can I expect him to man up in nine months?"

  "I see what you're saying but is that enough reason to leave him?" Gert asked.

  "Enough? Fuck yea! It's every reason to leave that muhfucka. There's too many fucked up scenarios and I don't wanna play none of them out. If he gets locked up, picture me getting married to him just so he can have trailer visits to get some ass, what about me having to wear all black at his funeral and fight his family over who gets his money that's in the safe in my fucking house and this is the clincher, how about after my baby is born I find out some dusty bitch he fucked without protection is having his baby too! I'm not finna play this game with this clown, I have way too much going on to go through the bullshit!"

  "So what you saying, you thinking about getting it terminated?" Gert asked in a soft voice.

  "I have to be honest. I thought about that shit as soon as I missed my period but when I saw that plus sign on the stick, being a mother was my natural reaction. I could never willingly kill anything growing in me. I knew there was a possibility of it happening when I let that muhfucka talk me into letting him hit it raw that night. I asked him what would he do if I got pregnant and that horny simple minded fucker said he shoots blanks."

  Gert burst out laughing but I didn't find that shit funny only because I was sitting in her crib six weeks pregnant.

  "So you not going to vacuum your insides, why not just tell him? Maybe then he'll take things between you both more seriously."

  "That's just it Gert. I don't want that muhfucka to try and change because I'm pregnant. I need that muhfucka to change just because I asked him to and then I'll know that having a child by him would be the right decision but if that block head won't change for me now, I don't want no fake changes until the baby born and then I'm stuck in a worst position and then it'll be with a baby too. It's hard to leave with a baby you know?"

  "Tell me 'bout it. So you not gon' tell him and you not getting rid of it, so what you planning on doing?"

  "That's just it Gert, I don't know, I don't know what I'm gonna do with a baby." I started crying all over again.

  I don't expect no one to understand how I feel and what I'm going through because it's my problem, my situation so the decision at the end of the day is going to have to be mine. What I do want people to understand is that having a baby is a serious step, it's a lifelong commitment that holds no guarantees. Everything changes for you and I'm not talking about all the weird shit your body goes through, I'm talking 'bout the sacrifices that has to be made to raise your child to be successful. Shit! Most of us don't know the first thing about being women our damn selves much less trying to be a mother. I'm so confused right now and I swear I don't want to bring no baby into this fucked up world and have to raise it without Vic but I promise you I will if that muhfucka don't act right.

  VICTOR

  "That's a new phone Vee?" Pepper asked me.

  Pepper worked for me, he was one of my look outs. He was only 17 but he ain't have much of anything going on but being a nosey little kid so I hired him to watch out for anything that didn't look right like the D's or stick up kids. I paid him in clothes, sneakers and food because I told him he won't ever get paid in cash since he didn't want to finish school.

  "How the fuck you know it's a new phone?" I asked annoyed.

  "It still has tha plastic on the screen, that's how." He said quickly.

  "That's why you my look out."

  "Ay Vee, I need to ask you something."

  "Shoot." I said while I fidgeted with my new phone trying to sync the numbers from my contact list.

  "I need a small loan so I can take one of my dirtys to her prom."

  "If you was still going to school you wouldn't need a loan. You don't pay attention, I guess you gonna stay a lookout that's fresh as a doorknob with a full stomach but flat pockets." I shook my head because I hated to see young brothers waste their lives away trying to imitate those fake gangsta rappers who never threw a brick or flipped a bird or banged out with muhfuckas who wanted to murk 'em.

  "I know Vee but I'm gonna go next year." Pepper said but I knew he was lying.

  "Yea, sure you are. What you'll be a super senior right? Why don't you go get your G.E.D. now? I don't understand you young dudes for nothing in the world. Y'all don't want to go to school yet y'all have no idea what you gonna do with your life. When somebody ask y'all something the first thing y'all say is, 'I don't know'. Watch when I ask you these questions."

  Pepper had a look of aggravation on his face because he hated when I came down on him like I was his pops or guardian but it was words of wisdom. Not everybody was cut out for college or to work in the corporate world however, you did need some degree of education so
at the very least you could get a city job with benefits. Young dudes today only thought as far as the next day, they had no outlook on the future and wound up being forced to do something stupid just to put a little change in their clothes.

  "What's your plans for the future Pepper?" I asked straight.

  "I don't know." He answered after pondering for some seconds.

  "See what I mean? You think you gon' keep being a look out until you my age?"

  "Hell nah."

  "Then what you gon' be doin'?"

  He stopped and thought for some seconds then answered honestly, "I don't know but it ain't gon' be this shit!" He had a look of defiance on his face but I wasn't impressed.

  "Last question. If I said today's your last day as a lookout, how you gonna eat and get nice clothes?"

  Pepper lowered his head and I could see a small frown appear on his face.

  "You getting rid of me Vee?" He never raised his head.

  'Not yet, but soon so you better start thinking about getting that fucking G.E.D. so you won't be on Atlantic Avenue with a cup and squeegee like them other fucking bum ass muhfuckas!"

  I left him and ran up the stairs to the building where the homie Les would definitely be rolling up some of that exotic. I pulled my hammer out when I got inside because there was always a chance of a thirsty muhfucka trying to get the drop on you. One of my dudes got blasted on by some clown that laid up for a week in some bitch crib in this building. Homie had the drop on my man but didn't do all his homework because he wasn't holding any cash or drugs, that's not how I run my shit. He got mad and thought he sent a message by hitting my man in the thigh, it was a painful message and I definitely got it but trust and believe the return mail was something his family wished never got delivered.

  I knocked on the door three times with my secret code and Les talked through the speaker next to the door.

  "Nature of the call please?"

  "Business. Open the fucking door!" I yelled into the speaker.

  I could hear all the bolts clicking before the manufactured steel door opened. There was a naked girl standing on the side with a mask on her face. I walked in and stuffed my 'Nina' into my crotch and walked pass the kitchen where two more broads were naked sitting around a table full of pure heroin. I coughed and waved my hand in front of my face and hurried to the back where Les was sitting down looking at the video surveillance on the television while the Channel 12 News played in the background. He stood and put his hand out for our special hand shake and then looked at me strangely.

  "You look like you been crying. You been crying muhfucka?" Les asked tilting his head to the side.

  Me and Les grew up in Gowanus Projects and been homies ever since fourth grade. This dude is the closest thing to the brother I never had. He and I been through fights, girls, fights and break ups with girls. He knew me almost better than I knew myself, I loved this dude, he was my hip. I sat down on the leather sectional and put my right arm across the top of it and leaned back.

  "That bad my dude? Tell me what happened kid?"

  "She left." I said plainly. I couldn't say what I wanted because I felt a ball in my throat and I wasn't about to Niagara Falls up in my joint.

  "Fuck outta here! Why?" He pulled out a blunt and lit it immediately and pulled on it. "Don't tell me she caught you fucking?"

  "I don't think so, I mean, she was just gone when I came in from the club this morning." I was trying my best not to get misty eyed.

  "You gotta be kidding me. What the fuck brought that on? She musta found out you been smashing that dirty in the next building." Les guessed.

  "Negative my G. That smut only gave me brain once and I told Char 'bout that shit months ago. I was in the dog house for a minute after that but she been good since then." I didn't believe one word I uttered.

  "Then why she poofed out on you? Gotta be a reason Vee."

  "That's what I don't know fam and its fucking with me."

  "I can tell." Les acknowledged my tear stained face. "You need to fall back from over here and go handle that business."

  One thing I couldn't do was show weakness when it came to my business. Any hint of weakness in this game can get you murked or locked up. I knew I needed to clear my head so I could function right but I couldn't let it be my priority over my money, that was first before love. A lot of people will disagree with this because they want you to believe love conquers all but you can't eat love, love don't pay the rent and it can't clothe you. Don't get me wrong, I'm in love and will always love Charmaine but where my money is concerned I can't allow it to stop me from eating. I'm not one of those love sick dudes that stop eating and start tripping on losing out on the best thing that ever happened to them. Shit, I'm lying, I'm fucked up but I'm gonna try my hardest to concentrate on my business because if I don't I can lose out both ways and that'll be tragic.

  "You gon' hold things down for me while I find out what's happening with Char?" I asked Les knowing his answer.

  "Nah, I'm gonna go on vacay and let Pepper hold the whole operation down. Of course I got this!"

  "That's why we partners fam. I appreciate this. I'm not gone on hiatus just gonna see if I can straighten this shit out." I slapped him five and heard the alert on my phone.

  I checked my message and saw that I had an unknown missed call. I put the phone on silent by mistake and that was probably Charmaine's call I just missed, damn! I looked at my man Les and he nodded his head knowingly like he was reading my mind. I needed to speak with Char because what was really having me tripping was her specific reason for leaving, I was literally in the dark about it. I could guess but I wasn't much for gambling so I needed to find out from her and the only way to do that was to hear her tell it to me or see her face to face.

  My contacts were synced so I tried calling her number as I walked out the front door, motioning for one of the workers to close it behind me. I jogged down the stairs as the phone rang in my ear then went to voicemail but it was still full. I resent the call and put the phone to my ear as I walked out the building. I was walking to my truck and nodded my head at Pepper but behind him I saw a black Hummer creeping up the street. I waved my hand for him to turn around but he wasn't paying attention to me, he was texting on his phone. The Hummer's passenger door swung open suddenly and I dropped my phone and instinctively grabbed 'Nina' from my waist just as the muhfucka in the Hummer jumped out with a gun and start busting at me. I ducked down as I ran over to a parked Caravan. I looked through the windows and saw the dude coming in my direction, I dropped to the ground and waited for him to get close. The slugs he fired hit the Caravan with such force it shook and the alarm went off. I saw his feet and let my baby scream on that muhfucka, spitting out three lead slugs that hit his feet and sent him to the asphalt. I jumped to my feet quickly and looked to see where the Hummer was and it had stopped moving in the middle of the block. I went around the car and faced the muhfucka on the ground while the Hummer sat idling. I picked his gun up as he was rolling around screaming like a bitch holding his ankles. I looked to my left and saw Pepper on the ground and he wasn't moving. I saw red and looked down at the muhfucka who thought he was going to take me out the game.

  "You got to be 'bout the dumbest muhfucka in Brooklyn! You don't know who I am? You don't know where you at? You in the cemetery nukka! You just got yourself a first class ticket to meet the devil!"

  I cocked the hammer back on my 'Nina' and I pulled the trigger watching fire spark from the barrel as the body jumped when my slug hit it. I pulled the trigger again and watched his body lift up of the ground.

  "This one for Pepper bitch!" I screamed as the last bullet entered his melon and exploded, sending chunks of brain matter splattering all over the asphalt. There was no more movement. I pointed my iron at the Hummer and squeezed the trigger in succession and heard loud dings from the bullets hitting the side panel as it screeched off down the block. White smoke hovered in the air and when I looked to my le
ft, Les was standing right next to me with his gun smoking. I was so caught up in the moment I didn't notice he was right there banging out with me, that's my dude for life!

  "Who the fuck is this muhfucka!" He asked as he walked up to the twisted corpse on the ground.

  "Beats the fuck outta me but he whoever he was, he's finished." I felt no remorse as I spit on the man who tried to snuff my life out in a cowardly act of violence. I never understood how dudes claimed to be so 'thorough' with their gangsta but loved sneaking up on a muhfucka trying to catch him off guard and shit and act like they straight up shooters. They're bitches! I don't have beef with no muhfucka out here because I stay on my fucking side of town so when shit like this happens, it's from them bitch ass nukkas who want to be me. I shake my head every time I think of those hating muhfuckas that's jealous because they just can't make it out here so they want to kill the man who is smart enough to.

  "And this muhfucka so reckless he hit Pepper and I know he wasn't his target. Non aiming ass hole!" I kicked the dead body out of anger, I was hoping his soul would feel it.

  I slowly walked over to Pepper an overwhelming emotion of grief covering me. I was just telling him he needed to go get his G.E.D. so he could get away from this life. 17 years old and his life over because he was at the wrong place at the wrong time doing the wrong thing and it was partly my fault. The muhfucka was hoping those bullets pierced my body but instead they hit an unintended target. Guess he wasn't such a good look out after all, he supposed to saw that coming from a mile away, shit, I peeped it. Just proves he really wasn't built for this life.

  When I got to him he was face down on the pavement not moving. I didn't know if I should turn him around or not but decided to see where he was hit. I turned him over and this muhfucka jumps up, tears streaming down his face shaking like a prostitute on the stroll in a December snowstorm.

  "You aiight Pepper?" I asked shocked at how fast he jumped to his feet.

  "Y-y-yea Vee." He stuttered.

  I checked him for any bullet holes and there was nothing on him but dog shit from where he must have fell on when he hit the ground.

  "You hit anywhere?" I didn't want to touch him and risk getting that shit on my clothes, I'm kind of glad he did jump up before I got that shit all over me.

  "N-n-nah! I don't think so. I heard the gunshots and I just hit the deck. I didn't even see the dude that was shooting." His speech wasn't back to normal because he stuttered damn near every word. Fear can do that to you.

  "You real lucky Pepper and if you want to see the muhfucka that made you hit the deck, he over there stretched out." I said pointing to the middle of the street where my man Les was relieving the body of all identification so the D's would have a hard time identifying who the unlucky ass hole was. We were 'thorough', although this was a deliberate hit on me, we did our own investigation, we didn't fuck with the police or snitches.

  I picked up my phone and wouldn't you know it, the fucking screen was cracked. This was not turning out to be a good day. First Charmaine leaving and now the screen on my phone is cracked! I know the attempt on my life should be seen as not being a good day but to be honest, I expect that shit to happen so I'm always prepared but when some shit happen that I wasn't prepared for, that makes for a bad day...for me anyways.

  "Les, you got a positive ID on that fool?" I asked as I walked over to him. I could hear the sirens in the distance so I knew we had to be ghost in about five minutes. The police didn't rush to the scene of any crime where gunshots are fired, they preferred to come after everything is over. They don't care if we kill ourselves out here, they're worried about making it home to their kids and working long enough to collect those fucking pensions.

  "Yea, his name was Jaime. It's fucked up 'cause he was only 21, just turned old enough to drink legally." Les said as he dropped the identification down the sewer after cutting it up with a razor.

  I shook my head and I looked at Pepper and said, "See what I'm talking 'bout? Today is your last day my dude. I don't want this to be you. Take this shit as a warning, go back home and tell your mom you don' seen the fucking light and it was shining through the hole in this young muhfuckas head! I'll do whatever I can for you as long as you getting your life on track...the right way."

  For the first time, Pepper didn't protest, he looked at me and nodded his head as his eyes filled up with tears. I couldn't tell if he was emotional about leaving my team or thankful that it wasn't his body laying in the middle of the street. In either case, it was a blessing.

  "Ok, get outta here Vee. You know the 29th gonna be here in a minute. You should leave your burner here just in case they stopping cars in the perimeter." Les advised me.

  "You know I'm not going nowhere without 'Nina' especially after what just happened. I rather get caught with her than without her. You feel me?"

  "Say no more, now bounce and give me an update on what's going on with you and Char."

  "No doubt my G. I'ma keep you tuned in." I said as I made it to my truck in haste. "Come on Pepper, let me give your terrified ass a ride home to safety." I joked with him to lighten the mood.

  Don't think this is no everyday shit that happens to me because it's not. I take it with a grain of salt only because it's the life I chose to lead so I have to be conscious of all the pitfalls that are going to be in my way. I'm not taking shit light either but I can't sit here and dwell on this shit, I'm going to handle it ASAP trust that. Those dudes that's gunning for me must be bored, broke of have a death wish. I'm not teflon, I'm not the man of steel and I know I'm not invincible but when it comes to this game, I'm smart and that's what keeps me ten steps ahead of these slow thinking muhfuckas out here. This life I'm leading is by choice so don't judge what you don't know. I'm not going to go into detail about how I grew up because it'll take a month of Sundays to finish and I don't have the time, my priority right now is finding out why my girl left me and getting the cowards who tried to off me today.

  I pulled away from the curb in my G500 and cruised down the street hoping when I dropped Pepper off that I would finally speak to my fucking girl.

  CHARMAINE

  Gert and I decided to go eat and get some fresh air in my lungs since I been crying like a damn 2 year old. I let her drive my truck and asked to use her phone and she gave me the side eye.

  "You gonna call him from my phone?" She asked knowing the answer.

  Ok look, it's hard enough fronting for y'all like I'm all strong and shit because I made the decision to leave and all that but truth be told, I'm really fucked up on the inside. I'm hot and cold about this whole situation and I just want to hear his voice even if I don't say anything. I just want to see if I can hear any pain or regret in his voice, that's all. Now you saying, "Then what?" right? Ok, I don't know if I would say anything or not, it depends on what he says. Anyway.

  "Yea. I don't want him to know it's me calling." I told her as I held my hand out for her outdated Blackberry.

  "You know he got my number in his phone Char so you not camouflaging. If you really don't want him to know it's you calling, you can call from your phone and just block your number."

  "I would do that but Vee don't pick up unknown calls from nobody for no reason." I said to her with a little attitude. She was challenging my actions like I'm dumb and don't know what I'm doing.

  "But if he hasn't heard from you and he's concerned, he will." She pushed.

  Now it's time to check her, "Look Gert. Vee cannot afford to take chances answering an unknown call because of the business he's in. That's how muhfuckas get caught by the Feds, answering an unknown call and then having their whereabouts tracked right after. I'm not going to jeopardize doing that to him so its best I call from a number he knows. I just want him to know I'm ok. I'm not gon' tell him where I'm at or what I'm doing, just giving him that much respect to know I'm alright and that's it."

  Gert laughed out loud as she turned the corner almost sideswiping a car since sh
e wasn't used to driving a truck that size before.

  "Sounds like bullshit to me Char. Cut your shit girl, call your man and talk to him. Stop playing games, when you start doing that shit there, there has to be a winner or a loser. This is not a game, this is your relationship so treat it as such."

  Had to admit, she was right. I was playing games but it wasn't intentional. I'm confused right now. I'm pregnant and in love with a drug dealer that won't act right by me. Shit is critical right now.

  "Ok Gert, you're right but what I'm gon' say to him. I mean, I left for a reason and to call so quick is almost like waving the white flag in surrender already."

  "You're not waving no white flag, you're just telling him you got so fed up that you had to leave. Let him know that you still love him but you love your peace of mind more and he really needs to think about what you're saying and decide what's important. You just let him know your level of tolerance has reached the brink and this could be it for y'all unless he makes a choice to change and be consistent in that change." Gert told me and the jewel she dropped was priceless like the feeling you have when your loved one proposes to you.

  "He knows all that because I said it before, not word for word the way you said it but pretty much the same thing. The problem is by leaving, then calling him less than 24 hours later he might not think I'm serious and say anything to get me to come back home. I love him Gert, I really do but me being pregnant changed the game."

  "Stop using that word game when your referring to your relationship girl, this shit ain't no game, it's your life. I know what you saying but you have to make a decision on what you going to do when it comes to y'all two because you only have 9 months before that baby come stomping into this world."

  Reality is a muhfucka and I need someone like Gert to slap me in the face with it so I can stop my bullshit and put on my big girl panties and face this shit like an adult.

  "Ok, let me get your phone so I can call him." It was time to woman up.

  Gert pulled into the parking lot of the Apple Bees on Flatbush Avenue. It didn't look crowded and I got out of the truck and took her phone and dialed Vic's number. The phone rang until it went to voice mail. I called again and when it went to voice mail again I hung up. I wasn't about to leave him a message that we needed to talk, we needed to have a conversation. I instantly got mad because the first thing I thought was that he said, "Fuck it!" and started 'doing him' which would be within his rights since I took ALL my shit out of his house. My actions was basically saying I have no reason to come back knocking on the door for any reason right? I mean, I took every fucking thing I owned and he bought for me out of there, if another bitch went up in there she wouldn't know I was ever a resident in that muhfucka. I shook my head as we waited to be seated holding the phone to my ear because I didn't want Gert to say anything to me right now. I needed to harness my fucked up emotions and put this fake ass smile back on my face. Boy was this some real bullshit.

  It took about fifteen minutes before the bitch found us a table for two and we sat down in the back next to the kitchen. I picked up my menu and already knew what I wanted. I waited for the waitress and when she finally came over I ordered the Grilled Chicken Wonton Tacos for my appetizer then the Bourbon Street Chicken and Shrimp Platter with the Green Goddess Wedge on the side. She looked at Gert and took her order of Chicken Caesar Salad then asked what we would like to drink and I ordered a Mojito while Gert stared at me then ordered Pink Lemonade.

  "What?" I asked with my mouth twisted.

  "You know you shouldn't be drinking any alcohol."

  "Please, the baby's a blood clot. I can have one fucking drink."

  "Yea ok, so why you ordered like you already six months?" Gert countered.

  "I got a fucking excuse now. I'm eating for two. Leave me alone and let me enjoy my food and liquor."

  I was only drinking because I needed something to calm my fucking nerves, the food was to make me feel better and afterwards guess what? I was going to burn down Neiman Marcus and spend 'bout three stacks!

  "Char, you need to slow down. You all over the place. Pump your brakes and try to think this out right. I don't think you're processing everything rationally, I think you're just reacting on emotion. Let's do this chica, before you make any more decisions figure out where you are first." Gert put the hammer down on me. I know I needed it and the waterfall started. Come on now, don't act like this never happened to you, your emotions run hot and cold without warning. I know I'm tripping and Gert's right, I'm all over the fucking place.

  The waterfalls started on cue, I was an emotional bag of bullshit and I blamed it all on Vic because he was the reason, wasn't he?

  "Gert you know me so well." I bawled. "I'm scared I made a big mistake by leaving so fast. I shoulda least talked to him one more time and gave him one final opportunity to change but instead I let my emotions take control and tried to make him feel my pain by doing some abnormal shit like cleaning the crib out and leaving like a fucking cat burglar."

  Gert got up from her chair and came and sat next to me in the booth and cradled me in her arms. Lord knows I needed that hug, it was almost like the hug your mama gives you after you lost the dance contest at school.

  "I'm gonna be with you through this Char so stop beating yourself up about what you're feeling. Don't hold back what you're feeling, let it out baby. Cry a fucking pool of tears, it's what cleanses you and helps you think better. I'm here with you no matter what." Gert sang to me as she rocked me back and forth and wiped the salty tears from my eyes.

  I'm going to tell you something, when your heart hurting, you don't give a fuck where you break down at, how ugly your cry face is and who is staring at you because the only thing on your mind at that moment is how to stop the fucking pain. I didn't give a fuck about the people in Apple Bee's looking at me blubbering like a high school girl who just got dumped by her boyfriend because her best friend would fuck and suck his dick.

  Love and War by Tamar started playing on Gert's phone, it was unusual she would have that as her ringtone, and she looked down at the number and smiled then passed me the phone. I grabbed it and stopped all my sniffling before I pressed the little green phone icon button.

  "Hello?" I forced my voice to sound normal.

  "Char? Yo, what the fuck up wit' you? Why you break out like that? How you just gon' leave and take all your shit without saying shit! You even took shit that wasn't yours like my fucking toothpaste. What the fuck is up with that! Then you scribble some shit on the mirror 'bout guess where you at and fuck me? Fuck all that's about Char? Why the fuck you wildin' like this, fuck I do to you for you to do this bullshit to me! I can't fucking believe you did this shit! You saying you don't wanna fuck with me no more?"

  Vic said fuck so many times I tuned him out, I ain't want to hear that muhfucka screaming in my ear. I expected him to be talking to me soft like he sorry I left but this muhfucka acting like I'm the one that did something wrong, fucking and shitting through the whole conversation.

  "No, I don't want to fuck with you no more 'til you grow the fuck up! You know why I left, I been told you I was going to leave if you didn't stop ya shit and since you didn't you can continue but without me there."

  "Fuck you talkin' 'bout you told me you was gonna leave me if I didn't stop my shit? What shit you talkin' 'bout Char?"

  "Don't play stupid now Vic. You know I told you 'bout breaking day after you coming in from the club and spending time with me through the week."

  "We been over that shit a billion times Char. You know what I do and how stressful this shit is day in and day out, I need to hit the club with my team to unwind to take the fucking edge off, that's all. What the fuck is wrong with that? I still take care of all my responsibilities in the house. All the bills paid, you buy what the fuck you want and there's always food in that muhfucka!"

  "If it's so fucking stressful why don't you just quit instead of unwinding at a fucking club EVERY single w
eekend!" I didn't know I was yelling but Gert gave me the single to tone my voice down. "And don't think 'cause you pay for everything that makes a house a home. It's like I live by my fucking self and you're just my roommate. And I'm tired of you talking that money shit to me all the time, I have my own fucking money Vic, I can take care of my muhfuckin' self, I was doing it before I started fucking wit' you and I'll be doing it after!"

  "So what the fuck you sayin' Char? This it? You want it to be like this because I go out on the weekends and get money on the weekdays, huh? Are you fucking serious? Fuck this shit!"

  "Then fuck it Vic and fuck you!" I pressed the end button and the call disconnected.

  I know, I know, what the fuck I say all that shit for and I was just crying two seconds before he called right? I told you my emotions are all fucked up, what I was expecting from him ain't what happened and it threw me off. He wasn't supposed to act like that, he was supposed to be apologetic and asking me what he could do to make me come home, right? I know I might have just made things more complicated in this relationship but I didn't do it on purpose, if he had only talked to me different then I would have been able to talk to him without getting so angry. Why couldn't he just talk to me like he missed me instead of like he was mad?

  Gert looked at me and kept her mouth shut, I already knew what she was thinking, totally disappointed with the display of my behavior after all that good shit she told me. The waitress brought all my food to the table and when I looked at it I was disgusted and jumped up from the table and ran to the bathroom to throw up.

  VICTOR

  Man, I ain't never gonna understand this broad. She trying to tell me the reason she left is because of me hanging out and not spending time with her. Granted I club every weekend but it's a small reprieve from my lifestyle, look what just happened to me at my fucking spot. When it gets hot it becomes killing season. Why do females always complain about shit that they already knew about a muhfucka when they first started fucking with them? Char knew I hustled and she knew I clubbed every week, that's where the fuck I met her! It's funny how she complain about me not coming in every night until after three in the morning and I have to defend myself by telling her that's when I do my last count until the morning. I don't trust nobody with my bread, I count all my fetti myself. Now when she come batting her pretty baby browns asking me for a couple stacks so she can cop some Loubitins or one of those oversized Hermes bags, she don't seem to have a problem that I stay out late to make sure that happens for her, how lopsided is that?

  I pulled up in front of the T Mobile store and took the key out of the ignition of my truck and slammed my door from frustration. I walked into the store and the T Mobile rep saw me walking towards her with my phone in my hand.

  "Yo, I need another phone, the face on this one cracked." I told her with a slight bit of attitude.

  "We didn't sell it to you like that." She said matching my attitude.

  "I just paid half a man for this fucking phone a couple hours ago and the face cracked. Y'all gon' do something, give me a new phone or my fucking bread back!" I know I was directing my anger towards the wrong person but I was tight after the conversation with Char.

  "Mr.?" She didn't remember my name and I had been there only hours ago.

  "Vee." I answered her with more attitude while raising my tone one octave.

  "Mr. Vee. come over here so I can see your phone."

  I followed her over to a station off to the side in the store. She started punching something on the keyboard then held her hand out for my phone and I gave it to her. She stopped typing and inspected my phone and I was about to say something but she looked up at me and put her pointer finger to her lips and said, "Shhhh." For some reason, I immediately calmed down and remained quiet.

  "Look Mr. Vee, if you didn't come in here screaming and drawing so much attention to the lie you telling I woulda helped you but since you didn't you gonna have to wait a couple days and I'll give you a new phone. I can't do it now while this manager is working."

  I felt stupid. It was uncharacteristic for me to even act like that over something as trivial as a broken phone. The money wasn't the issue because I dropped double that every weekend at the club so home girl was giving me a reality check that I needed. I didn't say anything I just took the number she wrote down on a piece of paper and put it my pocket.

  "Call me tomorrow after I get off around five and I'll have your new phone for you."

  "Thanks, and I'm sorry I came in here flipping ma."

  "My name is Stacy." She pointed to her name tag on her shirt.

  "My bad Stacy. I'll hit you tomorrow after you get off and thanks again." I said to her as I turned around and left the store.

  After me blowing up on Stacy for no reason I figured I better call Char back to try and get some kind of closure on what was going on between us. I went to my truck and stood by the driver's side and dialed Gert's number and waited. It went to voice mail the first time so I called Char's phone and it went to voicemail too. I was about to get mad but checked myself and called Gert again and this time someone picked up.

  "Hello?" I asked, my voice was labored and even.

  "Victor, this is Gert, how are you?"

  "Not too good Gert. Where is Char, I really need to talk to her." I asked politely.

  "She's in the bathroom Victor." Gert always called me Victor no matter how many times I told her to call me Vic or Vee, I hated being called by my full government name.

  "Can I ask you a question?"

  "What is it?"

  "Do you know why Char left me?"

  There was a pause.

  "I don't want to get involved in y'alls relationship Victor."

  "I'm not asking you to get involved, I'm just asking do you know."

  Gert looked towards the bathroom, Char had been in there for a minute.

  "All I know is that she's very hurt Victor, she's crying really bad."

  "I don't want her to hurt or cry so why you just don't tell me so I can fix everything?"

  "It's pretty much the same thing she said while she was on the phone with you earlier. She wants you to spend more time with her and stop hanging out so much." Gert told me.

  "It's more to it than that, it's something else Gert. What she not telling me?"

  "I don't know. She didn't tell me anything different."

  "Come on Gert, you know how much I love Char. You know I know she ain't just leave because I came home from the club late or because I don't spend enough time with her."

  "No but it's a major part of her leaving."

  Got her. "Alright I'll go for that but it's not the main reason for leaving, what she say was the straw that broke the camel's back? What happened to make her just flip like that? You know I'm a good dude Gert, I never put my hands on her and I wasn't fucking with no other bitch so that couldn't be the reason so why don't you tell me. Look at it this way it can't hurt, it can only help, right?"

  There was another long pause but I felt I was appealing to her heart and hoped she would do the right thing and tell me what the fuck was really going on with Char. For some reason I couldn't believe she was that mad at me for coming in late from the club or staying out late while I'm working.

  "Look Victor. I think you're a decent dude and I really like you for my girl. But she wants things from you that you obviously ain't willing to change in order to make her happy. Spending time with her and not spending time with her is a very big problem in y'alls relationship. She said she been telling you this from the beginning and you stop for a minute then go right back to doing the same thing once you think she's happy again." Gert told me.

  "I'm not gon' lie, that's true but you know what I do Gert and she knew from the beginning too. I'm not giving an excuse but this is how we're able to live the way we live, if I was to stop what I'm doing then shit between us would get worse financially and that'll start a whole lot of different problems. I can stop hanging at the clu
b more but slowing down on my business is not an option at this point, how I'm supposed to eat?'"

  "I understand what you're saying but how long you plan on doing what you're doing? I mean what kind of future you offering her with what you're doing now? Don't you want a family with her at some point?"

  I stayed quiet for a minute because I never thought about me and Char's future, we been together almost three years and in that time the only future I thought about was her moving in with me. I never thought about marriage or kids, we never talked about shit like that, we talked about going on vacations to exotic islands and spending money, shit, that was my life.

  "So that's what this is all about Gert, she wanna get married? She just want me to give her a ring to prove I'm not going to leave her like she just left me?" I mused.

  "I'm sure she would be glad if you proposed to her but a proposal ain't the solution if you don't plan on addressing the real problems." Gert informed me.

  "What's the real problem then Gert, just tell me."

  "She's pregnant Victor. Please don't tell her I told you because she wanted to tell you herself. She wants you to change before she tells you and she doesn't want it to be because of the baby. Char loves you Victor..." Gert kept talking but I didn't hear anything after she said, 'she's pregnant Victor.' It was my turn to be confused. Pregnant? With my baby? Was it my baby? Maybe it wasn't and that's why she left me so fuckin quick. Nah, she wouldn't step out on me, would she? That's why she tripping because she's pregnant? She should know I'm going to be there for mines, she know I wouldn't let her raise my seed without me. Then all of a sudden excitement welled up in me, I'm about to be a father! Wow that's the best news I've heard since I beat my last drug and gun possession charge.

  "Victor...Victor." Gert was trying to get my attention.

  "Yea...yea, I hear you." I snapped back to our conversation.

  "You gotta promise me you won't tell her I told you. Please."

  "Don't worry, that's my good word, I won't say shit. Thanks Gert. Matter of fact, have her call me when she comes out the bathroom."

  "No, why don't you just call her back in a couple of hours. I don't want her to know I even spoke to you."

  "Cool, no problem. Thanks again Gert." I disconnected the call.

  I breathed out a burst of air at the news I just received, it was a hell of a lot to take in. I was happy but I still didn't understand why Char would still leave just like that especially if she's pregnant with my fucking baby.

  I jumped into my truck and drove off with a different attitude, I felt like a father already.

  CHARMAINE

  I was in the bathroom literally throwing my guts up. I suddenly understood why people used to say "you calling earl" because that name is exactly how you sound when it's coming out of you. My insides were completely drained and my stomach was tight.

  I stood up and flushed the toilet and went to wash out my mouth. When I looked at myself in the mirror I started crying, don't ask me why, I just did. I didn't like being an emotional wreck all of a sudden but it came and went like the wind. I took my time getting myself together because my appetite was gone and I was really ready to go once I left the bathroom.

  "You ok girl? I was about to send a search team in there looking for you." Gert said to me when I came back to the table.

  She had the waitress put all the food in 'to go' bags for me; Gert knew me so well.

  "I'm not feeling all that well, I'm ready to get outta here. I hope I ain't fuck up your day with all this bullshit Gert." I was being sincere.

  "Not at all. I told you I'm here for you girl. Come on, let's go." She stood up and waved her hand for the waitress. I pulled out my Louis Vutton wallet and pulled out a crisp big face hundred dollar bill and dropped it on the table then walked off.

  Outside I waited on the passenger side for Gert and looked across the street and saw something I never ever saw in my life. There was this medium height stocky blue black muhfucka standing next to an all black BMW 750 (I know my cars bitches!). The coat of his skin was dark but it had a fine mist to it so he was somewhat shiny like a chocolate bar with sweat on it. What made him so intriguing was that he had a tattoo of the continent of Africa coming down his arm with the words 'QUEEN MOTHERLAND' on the top of the tat and 'IN COLOR!' at the bottom. Not impressive huh? What if I told you it was done in Neon Green ink? Exactly!

  I'm a Brooklyn girl and I've seen a lot of crazy shit but that right there had me on tilt. After the initial shock of looking at his tats I took the time to check out his appearance. Clean cut bald head, no facial hair, buffed like he stayed in Planet Fitness and his True's looked like they were tailored made for his exact fit, they didn't sag off his ass but were low enough for everyone to see his Armani boxers. He was an Adonis. I caught myself staring too hard because he was on his cell phone and when he noticed me 'staging' him he smiled and I saw those pearly whites, too straight to be his own so they had to be porcelain dental implanted Veneers but looked good on him nonetheless. I bowed my head but I knew I played myself because he started walking over towards me.

  "You would be smiling." He said when was standing at the back of the truck.

  "Excuse me, what?" I asked.

  "If you was mine, you would be smiling instead of frowning. What he do this time?" He said smoothly.

  "I'm not frowning and what makes you think it's a guy that has me frowning?" I replied.

  "Is it a girl?" He smiled those expensive pearly whites at me.

  "Uugh. No. It's nobody." I'm dark but I wondered if my complexion was light enough to show I was blushing.

  "I don't believe that but if you like lying to yourself to make you feel better, at least smile."

  "I'm not lying to myself." I showcased a small smile.

  "Oh, so you lying to me. I get it, why would you tell a stranger why he makes you so unhappy right now. My name is Jock, now you know my name so you don't have to lie to me anymore."

  I shook my head. This muhfucka was FWINE, yea, FWINE. Confidence, natural good looks, sweet smelling and masculine with a body that was hard as a statue.

  "I'm not lying to you Jock but you're right, I wouldn't tell a stranger none of my business anyway." I told him. I think I was smiling way too hard now.

  "I respect that so why don't we become friends so we can discuss that among other things."

  There goes that fucking smile again.

  "I can't, I have a man." I said quickly but the words sounded funny coming out my mouth.

  "You can't have friends because you have a man? What kind of relationship you in?" He questioned tilting his head to the side.

  "I can have friends..."

  "Just not male friends." He said after rudely cutting me off.

  "No, I'm not saying that." This muhfucka was talking too fast and trying to confuse me.

  "What you saying then? You just don't want my friendship, is that it?" He pushed.

  "I'm saying..." He was tripping me up. "Why you want to be my friend?"

  He laughed so hard I saw the back of his throat.

  "Who wouldn't want to be your friend? But my reason is, I have a soft spot for females who look unhappy or sad."

  "I'm not unhappy or sad." I countered.

  "Then why were you crying?" He asked.

  "I wasn't crying."

  "There you go lying again. Let's be friends so you won't feel you have to lie to me." He said smiling again. This muhfucka smiled too much but it was ok.

  "I'm not lying." I defended my lie.

  He sucked his teeth.

  "I'm gonna give you my cell number. You have a phone or you gonna lie about that too?"

  "I have a cell phone." He reduced me to just answering his questions.

  "So now I'll find out if you just don't want to be my friend if you don't take my number right?"

  He broke me down, I cannot lie, he broke me down with his persistence, his wit and them fucking Veneers.


  "What's your number?" I asked pulling out my phone.

  He recited it as he leaned on the back of the truck then he handed me a business card with his number already on it.

  "That's so you won't have any excuses, now are you going to call me or you just taking it so I'll get outta your face?" He asked.

  "I'm going to call." I answered as I put the card inside my pocket.

  "I hope you're not lying." He said as he turned around. "We already know you will."

  "I'm not a liar Jock." I liked saying his name.

  He turned around and looked at me briefly as he walked backwards towards his car.

  "What's your name?"

  "Charmaine." I yelled back.

  "Beautiful name. If I don't get a call within three days we'll both know what that means."

  "What will it mean?"

  "You're a liar." He turned around and opened the door to his Beemer which was already running and pulled off slowly.

  I watched the car with my mouth wide open and tried to figure out what just happened. I didn't do anything wrong, he's the one that came over and started kicking it to me. Maybe I shouldn't have taken his number but he was so pushy so I didn't have a choice. Who the fuck I'm fooling, I'm glad he came over to talk to me. It made me feel a little bit better about me and Vic, I wasn't going to fuck him, come on, it was just simple flirting. I needed that to snap me outta my funk, to let me know that I'm still attractive and personable and that there is somebody out there that will be with me. I wasn't going to leave Vic but it was good reminder for me to know that I did have options.

  "I'm sorry I took so long." Gert said when she got to the truck. "I was getting your change. Don't know why you was trying to leave a forty dollar tip and you ain't even eat shit!"

  "No problem." I said as I sat inside my truck.

  Gert got in and fired up the ignition and while all the lights in the truck came to life she looked at me.

  "Why you over there cheesing." She asked me.

  "I'm not cheesing, am I?"

  "Like you did something sneaky."

  I laughed.

  "Well, it's good to see you can laugh instead of cry. Now clean up your face from them dried up tear stains on your face."

  I pulled down the visor and flipped open the mirror and looked at my face. My eyes were red and there were stained tears on my face I didn't wash away. That's how Jock knew I was crying. I laughed out loud as Gert pulled out of Apple Bee's parking lot.

  VICTOR

  I was not prepared for the news I got from Gert about Char being preggo. I was going to have to change to show her that I would be a good father. I was thinking about marrying her so our baby wouldn't be born out of wedlock, I knew broads worried about shit like that, it was important to them. I was back at my condo with the game on, I'm a real Knick head, Melo's my favorite player and I'ma ride with them win or lose. I was sitting on my ugly ass living room couch looking at the big screen and my phone went off.

  "Yo." I answered stuffing my mouth with a piece of the General Tso chicken I bought.

  "You watching the game fam?" Les asked.

  "Yea what's clicking? Everything good on the home front?" I asked him.

  "Of course. I was calling to let you know that I found out the shooter was a dude from out of state." Les told me.

  "Say word? Hmmm, that means whoever sent him at us looking for real estate and trying to make our shit hot. We need to find out who sent that amateur at us." I said with no real worry.

  I'm not really worried about killing season because I have a team of goons that are paid to put in work. I'm talking about gorillas who love going to war and busting off them war machines like they playing 'Call of Duty' or something. I have military artillery and weapons and I'm not even bullshitting, my team of goons train like they in boot camp and move like the Navy Seal, real talk. I'm not bragging because I know anybody can get touched but I been doing this a long time so I make sure I'm covered. My shit run like a corporation on Wall Street.

  "No doubt, I'm working on that. I'm thinking it's local since the shooter was from out of state to throw us off the scent. It seems like it was a sloppy job 'cause dude had all his I.D on him, who does that?" Les surmised.

  "It was Amateur Nite at the Apollo 'cause from the jump they was unprofessional. You don't do a drive by with a whip that can be spotted anywhere because it sticks out like a sore thumb in the hood. First mistake. How many black Hummer's are there in Brooklyn?"

  "Exactly my dude. I'm on top of that but in the meantime we need to get this bread counted up for our next drop. You up to coming through to the spot after the game over?" Les asked.

  "Ok, no problem. I'll be there by midnight." I told him as Melo hit a three against Miami.

  "Aiight, I'll see you later, one." Les disconnected the call.

  I got up and went into my bedroom and pulled open the closet and turned the combination on my safe. I pulled the door and I gagged then got mad as two pits on a leash getting ready to fight. All my money was gone! I was shaking with rage, it was over $300,000.00 I had in there along with all my jewelry but that wasn't missing. I grabbed my cell phone and dialed Char's number immediately and it went straight to voicemail and I couldn't leave a message. I couldn't believe Char would steal money from me but when I thought about it more it seemed possible because she took all the shit I bought for her including my fucking toothpaste. I was seething as I redialed her number and it went to voicemail again. I flopped down on my bed and tried to calm myself so I could think straight. I called Gert's phone and she picked up after three rings.

  "Let me speak to Char Gert." My voice expressed pure anger.

  "What's wrong Victor? Why you screaming?" She asked cautiously.

  "'Cause that bitch stole ALL my fucking money! Put her on the fucking phone!" I couldn't contain my anger and exploded but I wasn't directing it at Gert I was just that fucking tight.

  "I don't know anything about that but try and calm down before I put her on the phone Victor." She said.

  "Fuck that Gert, put her on the phone." I screamed.

  "Ok hold on."

  There was some talking I could hear in the background and I figured Gert was telling Char I found out she stole my money. The one thing I hate more than police is a fucking thief. Char had no reason to steal from me and I don't care how mad she got she should have never violated like that and took my fucking money, you don't play with shit like that. Hot air was coming out my nose like a fire breathing dragon as I waited for her to come to the phone. It hurt more than anything to know she would steal from me. A lot of females might cheer and co sign dumb shit like that because they pro female no matter what but let me tell you something, if you fucking with the right muhfucka, you can get your head knocked off for doing less shit than that, so think before you act is all I'm saying. I finally heard her voice on the phone after waiting for five minutes.

  "Yo! I can't believe you would steal from me Char! How the fuck you gon' rob me for my bread like that! I gave you anything you ever wanted, you ain't never want for shit so you didn't have to take my fucking money! I want all my shit back, every fucking dime Char and I'm not waiting. If you at Gert house that's where I'm coming to get my shit!" I didn't pause, I didn't breathe, I spit 16 bars like Twista the rapper and didn't give her a chance to say shit in her defense.

  "Fuck you Vic, I'll give your fucking money back but you better watch how you talkin' to me muhfucka or you won't get shit back!" Char threatened.

  "Nah, fuck you with your sticky fingers! I ain't with that shit right there Char. Stealing? That's the foulest thing you can do to a muhfucka and for what? 'Cause you mad? That's some real bullshit!"

  I couldn't believe she was talking shit to me and she the one that took my fucking money. If she wasn't my girl, I would have made sure she would never steal again.

  "Oh please Vic. You always blowin' shit up worse than it is." She said sucking her teeth that I probably
would have knocked out if she was in front of me.

  "Yea ok. I'm on my way there now!" I yelled into the phone and hung up.

  CHARMAINE

  I'm so mad right now because Vic just screamed on me without even trying to talk first, he has no idea how much worse he's making things between us. Granted he should be mad about me taking his little bit or money but he knows I'm not going to spend it all in one fucking day, he so extra and dramatic. He always bragging and talking about how much 'fetti' he make when he out 'hugging the block' so he should be able to embrace that little bit of shit I just took . I'm far from ignorant so don't think I don't understand I'm wrong for fucking with his money but I took it on purpose and knew he would miss it because for a muhfucka that claims to have so much, he cheap as a pair of Payless sandals. I'm not a thief, I don't steal, I was seeing what is more important to him and money clearly is. I know he's going to cry about the principle of the whole matter but the principle is the reason I left to begin with. He needs to get his priorities straight, he has to know what's most important in the end of it all. Financial stability is a great thing to have in a relationship but if that's all you really have, what happens to your relationship when it's gone? You better know that with or without money your relationship will make it and that you both can still be together through poverty. That's why most relationships that is not built on money tend to last longer, Google that shit and see. No two relationships are the same and I know that so I'm only talking about mine. Love is a crazy thing to be in but your emotions make it just that much crazier. I'm not going to lie, everything I've done to Vic so far has been intentional and that's because I need to know he loves me as much as he says he does. Nothing should be more important to him other than his momma or his kids but I should come before his friends and I'm so serious about that. When this baby is born, I want to be sure where I stand with this man because if there's a hint I'm not number one in his life, how the fuck we going to have a family?

  Gert interrupted my thoughts by being nosey.

  "Did you take his money Char?"

  "I sure did and I deserve every fucking penny of it."

  "Seriously Char, why do you feel like you deserve it? You starting to sound like those no count bitches that feel if they fuck a man he owes them all the money he get like fucking him is a job. They love dick as much as he love pussy so fair exchange does not equal robbery. I hope you don't tell him no foolish shit like that 'cause if you do, you'll sound like a fucking smut."

  That's why I loved my bitch! She threw hay makers at my head and made me check my muhfucking self at the door. I knew she was right but the thing is, I'm mad so I'm going to say stupid shit but as long as I know deep down inside I don't believe it, it's just venting for me so I can feel a lot better.

  "That's them bitches not me. He can't and would never be able to smut me out! I'm way too classy a bitch that's why I deserve all that money and more. Fuck them other thirsty bum bitches who get their knees dirty in the men's bathroom stall at the club and then spit cum in a plastic bag then try to squirt that shit up in their stinking pussy with a turkey baster. They so dumb they don't know soon as the cum hit the air them babies dead." I laughed at the thought. "I ain't never been a dumb bitch and always been confident. Unlike them smuts, I know my worth and so do Vic!"

  "I know this ain't really you talking Char because I can't see you taking Victor's money. It's like you're purposely doing shit you know will make him angry. You pushing it Char. I understand you're hurt but two wrongs don't make a right..."

  "But it damn sure makes us even!" I blurted out.

  "That's bullshit. You talk that shit now but you don't really want to lose Victor over you stealing HIS money. What you should be figuring out is what you're going to do when that sweet baby comes into this world. All that other shit you doing ain't gon' get you nowhere but in trouble."

  "Trouble? That's what I'm trying to avoid for the rest of my life with Vic. He supposed to know I wouldn't steal from him like that, he should know that's not in my DNA. I'm a bitch that had her own when I met him and still do. I might not be in the shop but I still collect my receipts at the end of the month so I know business is still going good. Vic should be concentrating on making shit right between us. There's no doubt I love him and don't want to raise this child without him but I refuse to be in a relationship with any man just for the sake of a fucking baby! I seen too many bitches get caught up in that fucked up cycle of being happy when they tell their man they having their baby, I watch how they glow in their pregnancy and the first couple of months after Jr. is born. Oh, after six months all that big happy family shit goes flying off the roof and then she ready to go find her another baby daddy for Jr. and hits the fucking club leaving him with 'Nana' who done raised her trifling ass already and becomes a 3rd generation mother. Nah, miss me with that bullshit, I'm gonna find out now before my Jr. breathes his first breath. I'm not gonna be like them stupid bitches who neglect their baby because the daddy not acting right and give all their time to the next muhfucka trying to make him the man they thought they could turn their baby daddy into." I shook my head because I was disgusted with them type of bitches. "Gert, taking his money was a stretch but I know my relationship with Vic and if I'm wrong about what I think I know about him, this is the best way for me to find out."

  "I can't say I agree with you but you're right. You the one fucking him so you should know him. Now, I'm speaking generally when I say that muhfuckas don't play 'bout their money. I've seen muhfuckas kill a bitch and beat they mamma over a couple hun'ed. I just don't want you to read this shit wrong and wind up getting hurt trying to figure Victor out, it's better and safer ways of finding that shit out is all I'm saying. But at the end of the day, I'm team Char so I'm rolling with you, even if I don't agree or approve of your tactics."

  That's my bitch Gert! Told you she one of a kind like a fucking fingerprint. Love that bitch!

  We hugged after our therapy session and I went into her bathroom to clean myself up. While in the bathroom I sat on the side of the tub and tried my best to think if I was doing the right thing. I wasn't hiding the pregnancy from Vic because I planned on telling him as soon as he showed me he was a changed man. So what happens if he doesn't change, will I still tell him? The jury's out on that for right now. I'm a strong and beautiful black woman who knows her worth and I need Vic to know it just like Alicia Keys sang it. (Didn't that bitch steal a muhfucka from his wife?) There's nothing wrong with me forecasting my future, that's the problem with a lot of these slow bitches out here, putting the cart before the horse. We do shit backwards, having babies all early and shit, going through all the mommy pains of raising them in poverty then watching them fall victim to the circumstances we placed them in instead of seeking out our education first, becoming financially stable afterwards, taking care of ourselves, finding a companion who is like minded and financially stable on his own, making sure we're on the same page as far as building a future, getting a commitment of marriage like an engagement ring and then PLAN to have a child, that's how a stable family is made. Ok, so I didn't follow those rules all the way but I have the right intentions, don't I? I don't know what the fuck I'm doing; I have no fucking idea. I'm just here winging it and hoping it works out in my favor. Here goes my emotions again and right on cue, them fucking tears. I need a minute!

  Twenty minutes had passed when I heard the knock on the bathroom door.

  "Girl you aiight in there?" Gert shouted through the door.

  "Yea, I'm just cleaning up, I'll be out in a minute." I told her as I tried desperately to wash my face and confusion away with a wash cloth.

  "Ok, I just want to let you know that Victor is on his way up."

  I suddenly froze. That muhfucka must have ran every red light on Eastern Parkway to get here so fast. Maybe I was wrong about that little bit of money I took.

  "All right, don't let him in until I come out." I looked through her medicine cabinet and pulled out t
he Visine so there would be no visual traces of my unbalanced emotional state.

  "Too late, he at the door. Come on out, I'm gonna have him sit in the living room and wait for you." Gert told me leaving the bathroom door to let Vic in.

  I pulled open the bathroom door and headed to her bedroom where I stood in the hallway and ear hustled to see what mood he was in.

  "Hey Gert. Sorry about how I talked to you on the phone but your girl did some foul shit." I heard Vic apologize.

  "No problem but just exercise a little more respect when you call my phone to speak to her. I'm not a part of y'all shit but she my girl so you know who I'm riding with." I was so glad Gert was my bitch because she laid everything down like muhfuckas robbing a bank.

  "No doubt. My bad, it won't happen again. Where she at? She ain't dip out did she?" Vic asked her.

  "Nah, she in the back, she'll be out soon." Gert told him.

  I went in her room to look at myself in the mirror before I went out there to see him face to face for the first time since I left him. I wanted him to drool so I made sure my skirt was extra tight and pulled up enough to show my powerful thick thighs. My boobs sat up high and I had just enough cleavage to show how soft and supple they were without reveling too much skin, only the top of them shook. I rubbed a little mineral oil over my thighs to create a sheen then I looked in the mirror and kissed at myself. I looked like I was about to go on stage and perform, at least that's how I felt.

  I strutted down the hallway and right before I got to the living room, Gert was on her way to come get me for him.

  "I was just about to come get you to see what was taking you so long. Well, now that I see you're on your way to talk to him, I'm going to be in my room, please play nice Char. Please."

  "You don't have to worry about me Gert, I'm gonna be on my best behavior." I told her as I switched my hips as hard as I could like one of those anorexic runway models.

  No sooner than I hit the living room and saw Vic standing near the door I tripped and fell ending my runway show. I didn't even recover like the models who just jump back up and keep walking as if they never fell, instead I reacted like a bumbling idiot and beat and cursed the floor like it pulled the rug from under me. Vic ran over to help me to my feet but I, in full fledge drama mode, pushed his hands off me and struggled to my feet on my own as a show of independence. Once I was steadily on my feet he tore into my ass.

  "Where my muhfuckin' money Char! I want every fucking penny of it!" He shouted so loud I felt like I was being chastised by my father.

  Wait a minute, how the fuck he gon' come in here, watch me damn near break my ankle and the first thing he say is where is his fucking money? He really only came for his money and not to try to fix our relationship. And oh, I'm not delusional, like I said I know my man and what I'm doing and this right here is proving he only gives a fuck about money and not really focused on why I left in the first place. My feelings are hurt but his is going to hurt worse before he leaves here.

  "That's all you really give a fuck about huh Vic? You really don't give a fuck about me? I was so fucking right about your uncaring ass! You come in here all apologetic to Gert for cussing on her phone and when you see me the first thing you do is cuss me out? I guess I'm not shit! I'll go get your little bit of money muhfucka and once you get it I hope you get the fuck outta my life for good too!" I turned and damn near ran down the hallway before he could even respond. Left his dumb ass with his mouth agape. I was going to let that shit I said simmer in his mind while I went to get his money.

  I had to face Gert who was standing in the doorway of her bedroom with her arm folded over her chest and staring me down.

  "What?" I asked like I was clueless to why she was standing there looking at me.

  She only shook her head and retreated back into her room and closed the door. I didn't care that she didn't understand what I was doing as long as I knew but if I'm going to be honest, I didn't. I got down on my hands and knees and pulled my bag from out under the bed in the guest room and zipped it open. I pulled out a large Ziploc Freezer Bag full of rubber banded stacks of twenty, fifty and hundred dollar bills inside. Vic stacked his money in these bags because he said when he first started hustling he didn't know the money would come so fast and he didn't have a safe at the time so he hid the money in the freezer with his guns because he said it would be the last place someone trying to rob him would look for it. I took the money and tied it up tightly in a shirt then walked back into the living room where he was still standing with that same stupid look on his face before I went to get his money I didn't steal. When I was standing in front of him I threw the shirt as hard as I could to him and he instinctively caught it.

  "Here's your fucking money, every fucking penny like you said! Now get the fuck out!" I screamed as I turned around to go into the back. But he never moved, he looked at me and turned around and dropped the shirt and screamed, "This ain't all of it! Where's the rest!"

  VICTOR

  I have to admit I was surprised Gert let me in after how I spoke to her but I manned up and apologized because she was right, I was calling her phone to speak to my girl but screamed like she the one that did something to me. I feel like Gert good peoples especially since she told me about Char being preggo and shit. She went to the back to get Char and I stood in the hallway near the door but facing the living room. I'm still hot as ten muhfuckas in a sauna because she violated when she fucked with my money, anything could have happened to it while she bullshitting around being mad. A muhfucka could have stole her truck or knocked her in the head looking for a punk ass robbery and happen upon a come up of $300K. That's how shit happens out here sometimes and she want to play with mines, that's not a good look and it's not going to be tolerated. The more I thought about it, the hotter I got.

  When I saw her, I can't front, she was looking yummy in that tight ass skirt and shirt showing off my 'tatas' floating into the living room like she was in a Beyonce video. Then she fucked the whole picture up when she flipped over those size 7's and ate a mouthful of carpet. I ran over to help her but her embarrassment made her flip on me and then I snapped back into reality of why I was there and I asked for my fucking money.

  The way she carried on you would think I stole her money, she went on and on about some bullshit that I don't give a fuck about her because I apologized to Gert and screamed on her. You fucking right, Gert didn't take my money. Then she rambled on about some other shit like I gave a fuck, I just wanted my fucking cheese from her ass, no more, no less, just give me mine. Then she ran to the back so fast I thought she was going to do another Ice Capades show for me.

  While she was in the back getting my bread I was trying to figure out what her malfunction was. I mean, I was hoping I wouldn't have to go through nine months of her emotional bullshit. I don't know if I'd be able to stomach all this flip flopping she doing. She really think she didn't do anything wrong. All the happiness I should be feeling about her being pregnant is being side tracked by her fucking uncalled for actions. She bugging the fuck out and at this point I'm going to give her ass some space. Oh here comes Beyonce again.

  Char threw a fucking shirt at me and the shit hit me in the chest hard. I was stuck on stupid because she babbled to me like that was all my money and for me to kick rocks or some shit. I held that shirt and immediately knew that wasn't all my fucking money.

  "This ain't it. Where the fuck is the rest!" My teeth gritted and I was about to go in beast mode.

  Char turned around and looked at me with the gas face.

  "What the fuck you talking about? That's it and it's all there, I didn't spend shit out of it. I was going to but I didn't. How the fuck you know it ain't all there, you ain't even count it."

  I dropped the shirt and stared at her dangerously. I was no longer playing and I wasn't going to let her play me for my bread no matter how much I loved her and was the mother of my unborn child. All that shit flew out the window, I wanted my fucking
money. I took three long steps and had both my hands on her shoulder. I towered over her by at least four inches so I was looking down at her and all of a sudden, her look of defiance quickly changed to fear. I squeezed her shoulders in my hands and looked at the pain in her eyes, I needed her to know I wasn't playing about my fucking money.

  "I'm only gon' tell you one time Char. Go get the rest of my money! I don't play when it comes to that so stop playing with me!" The words came out of my mouth through clenched teeth but I'm sure she understood what I was saying.

  "I didn't take no money out of the bag Vic and I'm not playing."

  I squeezed harder and although I lowered my voice it was so deep it sounded loud.

  "Char don't make me hurt you over my money. I don't play when it comes to this so please don't push me, it's not gon' be a good look."

  As I looked into her eyes I saw fear replaced with anger at what I just said, she may have taken it as a threat but for me it was a fact.

  "I already told you I didn't spend none of your funky money Vic! If you would hurt me over me spending a couple stacks from out that $25,000.00 then I seriously don't want to be with you. So go ahead and do whatever the fuck you want to me Victor. I don't give a fuck!" Char said as her eyes glistened in preparation for tears to spill out of them.

  "A couple thousand out of $25,000.00? Char stop playing with me! It's $300,000 missing from my fucking safe now where is the rest of my fucking money." I pushed her into the wall, not too hard but hard enough to let her know I was serious.

  "Wait! Hold up! I ain't take but one of those Ziploc bags Vic. I left the rest of them in there. I ain't take nothing but what's in that shirt I threw at you, I swear. I wouldn't do no shit like that."

  I couldn't have heard her right. She didn't just tell me that she only took $25,000.00 from out the safe. There were 12 Ziploc bags in there, all packed neatly with twenty five gees inside. What she trying to tell me is that she only took one bag so where's the other eleven at? So what I'm supposed to believe...that I got robbed of $275,000.00. Ok, tell me how it looks, I'm out over a quarter million the day Char leaves, she says she only took twenty five stacks and left the rest, she cleans out all her shit not leaving a scrunchee and took my fucking toothpaste, she won't answer her cell phone and I have to contact her through her fucking friend. Whatever the fuck she says it all points to her.

  "What you trying to tell me Char, that somebody else stole my money? You telling me that $275,000.00 of my money just disappeared after you took $25,000.00? You trying to tell me that I'm reading this shit wrong and it's just a coincidence that you took money out of my safe and the rest of it is just...gone?" Saying it out loud sounded worse than thinking it in my head. Char was motionless on the wall, her attitude did a 360 and she was in defense mode.

  "Vic, I'm not lying to you. I would never steal from you. I only took that money because I was mad. I knew you would know it was missing because I know you on top of your shit. I didn't steal all your money, I would never do no shit like that, ever!" Her eyes looked like they could be telling the truth but if that was true then who stole my fucking money?

  If she never left in the first fucking place, none of this shit would be happening.

  CHARMAINE

  Wow! Was I in some fucking trouble now! This muhfucka accusing me of stealing all his money when all I took was $25,000.00 to make his ass mad. I'm not going to lie, I planned on spending a couple stacks to go shopping but he found out about it too quick before I could do that. I wasn't going to spend it all though, I was going to give back what I didn't spend because I didn't think it would hurt him since he has so much. Now I'm looking like the goose that stole the golden egg because I took twenty five stacks and the rest of his shit gone. My shit backfired on me something terrible.

  When he pushed me against the wall, I knew shit was serious and I snapped out of that bullshit attitude I had because I knew he wasn't playing. I was thinking he was going to swing on me and I'm glad he didn't because I don't know what I would do, that muhfucka built like a welterweight fighter. I tried my best to tell him I didn't take all his money but from the look in his eyes, he wasn't going for it. I mean, I understand, I'm the usual suspect, the only one with the combination to the safe and all of a sudden when I leave his money decides to play magic and disappear. I got suspect and guilty written all over my stupid ass moves I've made over the last 24 hours.

  This is a standoff and I don't know what else I can say to this man to convince him I didn't steal his money, not all of it anyway.

  "Vic, stop a minute and think. I had access to your money since we been together, why would I take all that money now? I know I made a mistake by taking any of it but if I did take it all would I tell you come get it? Wouldn't I be hiding from you if my intentions was to steal from you?"

  His head lowered like he was processing what I said then he looked up at me.

  "Look Char, as much as I want to believe what you said it's hard under the circumstances on how you left and now my money missing. It don't look good for you." Vic said staring directly into my eyes like he was searching my soul.

  I have to admit that he was sexy when he was mad and I couldn't help but be turned on by his display of machismo. I know that's selfish on my part but it's the truth. He did calm down a bit since then too and we were actually communicating for a change. It's fucked up it took him to lose ALL his money for it to happen but like I said before, 'what's more important?'

  "I completely understand Vic and I wish I never touched that money to begin with. But I can't believe you would think I took it all, I mean it just doesn't make any sense. Maybe somebody did rob you because I sure as hell didn't."

  "Your anger is the cause of all this shit no matter how many ways you slice this pie. Your actions is the reason any of this happened. I don't even really know why you so hot with me in the first place and that really what makes this shit worse for me Char. I want to believe you baby but until I get my bread back or find out what happened to it, I'm going to think it was you." Vic picked up the shirt and untied it and looked at the Ziploc bag then at me and shook his head slowly. The look of disappointment he had on his face was heartbreaking as he lift his shirt and stuffed it inside the front of his pants and walked out the door.

  "Wait Vic. What about us?" I asked.

  "You got what you wanted Char and until I get my bread back shit gon' be like this." He pulled open the door and disappeared out of my life...I hoped not for good.

  I know I fucked up really good and when I turned around and saw Gert standing looking at me, I knew I was about to get an earful.

  "What happened to his money Char? Did you take it and hiding it from him?" Gert pulled no punches.

  "Fuck no and you really outta pocket asking me that shit like you his momma or you fucking him! I told you what I did and now you questioning me like I lied to you and you my fucking bitch!" I was seething she would even think to accuse me like Vic did.

  "I had to ask Char because that's a dangerous game. Once you get caught with crumbs on your mouth it's only fair to guess that you ate the cookies, the question is how greedy you are?" Gert gave me a knowing look and I was mortified.

  "I been with Vic all this time and you think when I get pregnant by him that's when I decide to take all his money? Please! You don't really know me then. I got anything I wanted from Vic why the fuck would I steal from him?" I waved my hand and walked pass her abruptly heading for the guest room. I was tired of talking about me all of a sudden becoming a thief overnight because I left my baby's father.

  "I'm sorry Char but you not understanding how shit is looking for you right now. Anybody in their right mind would point the finger at you, you might not be guilty but you have all the components of being guilty. I'm not accusing you, I'm just keeping it all the way real with you about how it looks."

  "You don't think I understand how this shit looks? My man thinks I would steal from him after all these years. For all he kn
ows somebody coulda robbed him and got away with it because he too busy thinking I'm a thief. I gave back what I took! If I wanted to steal something I wouldn't have been so easy to find and I damn sure wouldn't have given shit back!" I screamed.

  Come on already, I feel bad enough as it is without Gert drilling me and making me feel like I robbed my man. Oh how I wish I never took that twenty five stacks out his safe now all the shit switched on me like I'm the wrong one.

  "I'm your girl Char, don't ever forget that but you know I call shit the way I see it. There's nothing fake or phony about me. If you say you didn't take the money, I'm riding with you, I'm just letting you know I might be the only one that believes you."

  "And that should be enough, as long as you believe me fuck anybody else."

  "What about Victor, don't you want him to believe you?" Gert asked with a bewildered look on her face.

  "I'm not worrying about Vic, he already believes me." I said and went into the room and closed the door. Conversation over for the night.

  VICTOR

  It's been 48 hours and I swear I can't shake this feeling that Char robbed me for all my bread and only gave me back twenty five stacks. It's hard to believe somebody you love and trust would do some shit like that to you. I'm torn because she presented a good argument to counter what I said about her being the only suspect and she didn't show any signs of lying, she stuck to the same story. When I got home that night I checked the door to see if there was any signs of someone trying to break in because I did remember the night she left I was having a hard time opening the door. What I noticed was some scratches on the door jamb next to the lock but the lock wasn't broken, just scratched up so it could be true. Then I went to my room and when I opened the closet I checked the safe again and it was open so I figured she might have left it open when she took the money out and if someone did break in they easily hit the jackpot. I know it's a stretch but when you're in love you tend to play CSI in the favor of the one you love. But the fact that all my bread is gone doesn't sit well with me at all and that's why I can't shake the feeling she's the one that robbed me because either way, her going in there to take anything was straight violation...period.

  I know being a father is not an easy job but I know with two parents it can be done successfully. Char just threw some shit in the game and now I'm on a mission trying to prove to myself that she didn't steal from me. I need to take control of this situation between us because she seems to be making bad decisions from leaving to stealing my money and worst of all, not telling me she's pregnant with my child. I think most females want to be equal in their relationship, 50/50 split down the middle and I told Char from the jump that I respect that but with me it has to be 60/40 split and I'm going to explain why. If we're upstairs in our house and we hear a window break and footsteps downstairs, if we're 50/50 I'm going to send her downstairs with the gun while I stay upstairs and call 911. Now if she's down with that, we'll rock out 50/50 but if not that's why I need that extra 10% because I'm going to risk my life to protect her and make sure she's safe. I'm all for woman's equality in the workplace and I respect all mother's because it's a thankless job but all that doesn't take away from a good man who provides, protects and takes care of his family. For a relationship to work both parties must be equally yoked and bring balance to one another or else it's doomed for failure.

  I don't want my son or daughter to be born into this world without me and Char being together so it's very important for me to prove she's trustworthy. I love that woman and it hurts that she left but what hurts more is there's a possibility she will steal and if you steal, you'll lie.

  I leaned over my steering wheel and looked up through the windshield to see if I was at the right address. I beeped my horn and sat back in my seat and waited. Five minutes later the girl from the T Mobile store came out of a building, I honestly don't remember her name. I rolled my window down and the look on her face said she was annoyed.

  "What's up? You got that for me?" I asked as I turned down the radio.

  "My name is Stacy and I told you to call me not beep your horn and let the whole hood know you getting a free phone."

  "My bad Stacy. Do you got that for me?" I really wasn't concerned with her because I had so much other shit on my mind, all I wanted was my phone.

  "Yea. I did you a favor, now I need one from you." She said without cracking a smile.

  "Hold up, I don't remember making no deals with you for a phone." I challenged.

  "That's because there was none. I'm just asking you for a favor that's all. If you can do it fine if not then take your phone and have a nice day." Her demeanor never changed while she spoke.

  I'm not the type of person that owes anyone shit so when she threw in that 'favor for a favor' deal it usually spells bad news. I have lost a many friends behind that 'favor for a favor' routine.

  "I think I'm gonna take the have a nice day only because you shoulda said something from the gate, ya feel me shawty?"

  "My name is Stacy for the last time and this just came up that's why I'm asking now. Look, forget it, I'll find someone else. Enjoy your phone and you're welcome." She turned around and started walking back towards her building.

  I watched her then she suddenly started moving like someone was chasing her, she wasn't running she was just speed walking and it seemed out of place. I looked to my left and I saw some joker running towards her and she took off sprinting for the front door of her building. The guy caught up to her before she made it to the door and clothes lined her from behind like a WWF wrestler. I never seen a muhfucka do that to a broad before so I was temporarily in awe of what just happened. He grabbed her by the hair and drug her into the courtyard while she grabbed at his wrists and kicked her legs wildly. He dropped her on the ground and two pieced her then was about to stomp her in the face with them black Chukka Tims he was wearing but I grabbed him from behind; after he clothes lined her I had gotten out my truck and trotted over to where they were.

  "Easy Triple H, this ain't Smackdown and shawty don't look like Brock Lesnar." I told him as I pulled him back before he could smash her head into the cement.

  He was hot as flames as he stumbled backwards and focused his attention on me. His eyes looked a little red, probably excessive weed smoking or lack of sleep.

  "Yo, mind your fucking business!" He screamed. By the way he was looking at me, I knew he was sizing me up so I helped him in making his decision.

  "I would have but I didn't really have an option when you started beating on her like she a dude. I don't know what kind of beef you got with her but I can't, as a man, sit in my truck and watch some cowardly shit like that go down. If she ain't steal no money from you, my advice is to leave her alone or else." I had to throw the money in there because I was thinking of my own situation. I raised my shirt and revealed my 'Nina' and frowned at him.

  He looked down at Stacy and spat on the floor then turned around without saying another word. I don't know if that meant he was coming back but I sure as hell didn't care because I did my good deed for the day. I turned to help her up but she was already on her feet dusting herself off.

  "I don't want to know who homie is or why he was pounding you out. The only thing I'm going to tell you is go to the precinct and get an order of protection on that muhfucka and press charges ASAP 'cause if he comes back and catch you slipping again, you going to get it worse because of what I just did. He don't look like he's wrapped too tight."

  "He's the reason I asked for a favor." Stacy said as she picked up some items that fell out of her pocked while she was dragged into the courtyard.

  "You wanted me to whip his ass? You think that shit is worth the price of a cell phone?" I asked with a dumb look on my face.

  "No, I don't need nobody to fight my fucking battles but against a dude that big I don't got no wins. The favor was turning me on to somebody that I can buy a gun from." She turned and started for her building again.

  "Ay yo,
I mean Stacy. Come here." I walked up to her and grabbed her gently by the forearm. "I'm going to apologize, I was thinking something different when you asked me for a favor."

  She sucked her teeth, "What...you think I wanted to get with you or something? I know who you are Vee, everybody in the hood know who you are. I'm not interested in muhfuckas that hustle, that's why I work and handle my problems by myself. Don't flatter yourself by thinking every female want a drug dealer."

  I laughed as I nodded my head because in the back of my mind I did think she wanted me to smash so I'm wrong on all counts...or am I?

  "Ok, I'm going to tell you what I'm going to do. If you got time, go upstairs get cleaned up a little and I'll personally take you to get a burner so you can handle your business accordingly. We straight?"

  First time I saw Stacy smile, "I don't have to go get cleaned up we can go right now."

  "Damn! Aiight then let's go." I turned and walked to my truck with her following behind.

  I'm no one's guardian angel by a long shot but I can't tolerate a man beating a woman in public like she a dude. That shit is not sexy and it shows the man is a straight 'mitch' a term I use to describe a male bitch because technically a bitch is a female dog. I don't know Stacy's affiliation with that dude but from experience, he had to be either a jealous ex or abusive baby daddy and in both cases a definite no no for any female. Granted I don't know what she did to make him stalk her out and then tackle her like a linebacker but whatever it was, it couldn't have been that serious for him to want to do her so dirty like that in front of her building and neighbors. Most men can beat their woman's ass so violence is never the way in my book. Women are more emotional creatures so I believe if you just leave them alone that may hurt them more especially if you was a good muhfucka to them. While I'm on that subject let me just say this, I told Char when we first got together that I don't hit women but there's only one circumstance and that's if she hits me first. I'm not with that hit me and I'm not supposed to hit back, remember that 50/50 shit - it kicks in there too. If you put your hands on me because you're mad and it's to hurt me, I'm going to beat you like we're in the ring because I want you to think about that ass whipping so the next time you even think about hitting me again, you'll know what kind of fight you're in for. If I don't hit you there is no reason for you to hit me under no circumstances period, end of fucking story. Some females come with that 'even if you hit him he not supposed to hit you back because he a man'. BULLSHIT, if she knows that then she shouldn't hit him, come on now.

  "Can I ask you something?" Stacy said as she put on her seat belt.

  "Ask away." I said as I pulled off and checked my rearview to be sure the stalker wasn't following us.

  "Why didn't you just pull off and let that dude whip me out?"

  "I don't believe in violence." I answered quickly.

  "Come on now. All that shit you was popping in the store the other day, threatening to 'do some thangs' if you ain't get a new phone. You was about to get violent." She said smirking.

  "Nah, I was just fronting but on the real, I don't like to see dudes hitting on females. I can't tolerate it in my presence."

  "So you telling me that if you're driving and see a guy whooping a bitch ass you'll pull over and do what you just did to my baby father?"

  "I ain't saying all that." I was right, it was her baby's father. "I gotta know them in some capacity. I can't just walk up to every dude pounding out a female because I don't know if she did something to deserve the ass whooping she getting."

  "That's bullshit, no woman ever deserves to get her ass beat by no fucking man."

  "No, what you just said is bullshit. If she steals his money she deserves more than an ass whipping! I know we not gon' agree on this subject so let's just leave it alone. I don't know why your baby pops was whipping you out and I don't wanna know." I looked over at her while I was stopped at the red light. "I just hope you take my advice."

  "I won't need to involve the police if I get my hands on a gun."

  "Fine with me as long as you handle it. But let me give you some secondary advice. If you wind up popping him, you have a better chance of getting off if you file for an order of protection."

  "What you mean I'll have a better chance at getting off? I don't plan on going to jail if I kill that muhfucka."

  "Oh trust me, if you put a slug in him and he check out, you're gon' get hit with a body but if you have an order of protection you may only get charged with the possession of the illegal firearm. Pay attention."

  "How you know so much about that? You act like you have experience in how to beat the law...Mr. nonviolence." She chuckled.

  "I don't, you're my first." I laughed.

  "You crazy."

  "You don't know the half."

  "Thanks Vee."

  "You don't have to thank me, just make sure you safe after this."

  "I will." She smiled and looked out the window.

  My cell phone started ringing and I answered it on cue.

  "Talk about it." I answered.

  "I got some good news for you. Where you at?" Les asked.

  "I'm on my way to the Iron Maiden, why what's good?" I wanted to know what was the good news he had to tell me.

  "Take a detour and meet me at the warehouse."

  "The warehouse? Don't tell me you already..." I didn't get a chance to finish my sentence.

  "Yes I did, hurry up before you miss out."

  "I'm on my way!" I disconnected my call then looked over to Stacy. "You mind taking a quick ride with me somewhere and then I'll take you to get your ratchet?"

  "No problem." She answered then picked up my new phone. "You want me to go ahead and switch your phone for you so you don't have to guess who's calling you?"

  "Yea, do that you're a T Mobile rep." I said and laughed as I made my way to the warehouse to meet Les.

  CHARMAINE

  This is the part I hate about what I'm going through with Vic. It's been two days and this muhfucka ain't call to check on me or nothing. I understand he mad about his money but what about me, what about us, what about the relationship? It's nerve wrecking for me because now the course of everything has changed. It's like I'm the one that has to kiss his ass because his money got stolen and that ain't right. I'm not going to keep revisiting this shit about his money. He in the dope game not me, shit, he should be glad I didn't get hurt when whoever robbed him came to take the fucking money. I know I'm sounding selfish but you have to understand that in my condition I have to be, what about my baby? Anyone worried about that? I have a lot to think about now with Vic, I don't know if I should even call him right now because what am I going to say to him? He hates me right now because he thinks I took his money, I didn't even know how much was in his fucking safe, I just took one Ziploc bag, damn!

  I'm not going to sit here and cry a pool of tears because of a mistake I made that makes me look guilty. Fuck that! I bet he's not sitting home on his bed in his boxers worrying about me. I know his ass is probably setting up all the nasty coochie he can knowing I'm not going to come over there. I hope he's not because I swear I'll run up in that muhfucka and start cancelling contracts and I'm not playing. See how my mind goes to the left so quick, I know I'm love struck over this fool.

  I breathed out a burst of air and inhaled some fresh oxygen into my lungs, I needed it to reach my brain and help me think clearly because my mind was beginning to get me into more trouble.

  "Why Vic! Why!" I just screamed out and burst into tears and I'm really sick of these crying fits but I can't help it.

  Gert came busting up in the room and stood looking at me like she wanted to send me to the Psyche Ward at Kings County Hospital.

  "What's wrong Char?" She was really concerned.

  "Gert I'm losing it. Vic ain't call me since that day he left here mad. I think I mighta fucked up real good and drove him away from me. I don't want to lose him over no bullshit like this!" Oh man was the t
ears flowing and I was trying to stop them.

  "Calm down Char. Did you unblock his number? Your emotions are all over the place, you have to stop thinking so much about Victor. Try doing something else to occupy your mind, think about that baby in your womb and start making better decisions with your head...not your heart." Gert was holding me in her arms and rocking me back and forth. No lie, that shit soothed the shit out of me.

  "I know but I swear I can't stop thinking about him. I'm not doing it on purpose either. I want to call him but I'm scared he gon' cut me off because he thinks I'm a fucking thief now." I bawled, it was sickening how I was performing.

  "Why don't you try calling him and tell him how you feel Char. Stop your shit and let him know that you're pregnant. This is serious."

  "I really can't tell him now because then he gonna think I'm just saying that so he won't be mad at me about his money being stolen."

  "You have to stop doing that Char. I know he's your man and you want to believe you already know what he's gonna to say but you can't read his mind baby. You're only guessing based on what YOU think he's gonna say. If you call him, be honest and straight with him at least that'll be one burden off your shoulders."

  "I guess you're right. I love you Gert." I kissed her gently on her chubby cheek.

  "Told you I'm here for you. I'm gonna go run you a nice bath. Make sure you use that cocoa butter body scrub I got from the Body Shop on your stomach now so you can stop them damn stretch marks from coming when you start showing."

  "How long before I get the bump?" I asked, it was my first time ever getting pregnant.

  "Well it depends. You kinda on the chunky side so you might not show until you 8 months 'cause you already look pregnant." She burst out laughing and I threw a pillow at her. "Nah you might start showing by your sixteenth week. I hope you not asking so you can delay telling Victor. Don't wait Char, tell him today."

  I smiled because she just told me I can't read Vic's mind but here she is playing psychic.

  "Ok, I'm going to call him." I stood up and took my phone off the charger and dialed his number then put the phone to my ear and went to grab some underclothes for my bath.

  "Hello?" I said when I heard he connected my call but I heard a female voice say, "Here, I answered it by accident."

  "Yo? Who this?" Vic said into his phone.

  I saw red, my temperature shot up and I blew my stack.

  "You couldn't wait huh you dirty muhfucka!"

  "Char? Oh what's up..."

  "Yea it's me muhfucka! Your bitch wasn't supposed to answer huh? Who is the dirty smut? One of them cum drinking bitches from the club? You's the dirtiest, I can't stand you! I'm glad your fucking money gone! Lose my number bitch! I'm not gon' let you play me, fuck you and them dusty diseased dick sucking whores. Eat my cunt you dumb fuck!" I disconnected the call while he was rambling away with a lie that I wasn't going to listen to and of course, the fucking waterworks started all over again. I'm a hot fucking mess!

  I knew I was right, I knew that muhfucka was going to fuck with a dirty after he left that day and was going to use me being a thief as his excuse to stick his dick into one of their dirty mouths. I hate him! I'm never going to let him touch this good pussy ever again. I was boiling mad and felt like a fool feeling sorry for that muhfucka and the whole time he was playing me like a fucking ass. I've never been anyone's fool and I'm not going to start today. It's true that your tears are hot when you're mad because your temperature goes up, my tears were hot enough to make a cup of tea. I looked down at my hands and they were trembling, I wasn't scared or maybe I was...scared of what the fuck I would do to him and that bitch! Uggh! I need to take this bath so I can calm down. I was unconsciously pacing the room like an expectant father, talking to myself in my head. I'm not crazy, I'm crazy mad! I needed to get the fuck out of the house to get some air so I could cool down, I was hotter than a muhfucka. I snatched the pants I wore the other day off the chair and it fell. I bent down to pick it up and all my shit fell out the pockets. What else could go wrong? I scooped up my things angrily and dumped everything on the bed and my eye caught a glimpse of the number that guy gave me when I was outside of Apple Bee's. Yep, you damn right I'm going to call him. I look at it this way, it must have been meant for me to call because why else would the number suddenly fall out of my pants, I believe in karma and this is it, fuck what you heard. Call me what you like, I'm calling that dark warrior. Sorry Gert, that bath is going to have to wait, I'm taking a quick shower so I can get the fuck out of here and see what destiny has in store for me today. I caught him with a bitch so it's only right, fair exchange isn't robbery.

  VICTOR

  I was holding the phone in my hand when I pulled up and parked behind Les' Maserati. Char wouldn't even let me explain myself before she started spazzing out. I tried to call her number back but it went straight to voicemail as usual and I wasn't about to leave no message with Stacy sitting next to me, I'd sound like a bitch.

  "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to answer the call but when I was setting up your phone and syncing the numbers I accidently swiped the green icon to answer the call. I hope I didn't get you in any trouble." Stacy said as she stared at me.

  "Nah, it was my..." I looked over at her. "Ex girl. She tripping 'cause we not rocking like that right now."

  "Oh, right. Your ex...girl. I got it." Stacy laughed out loud in my face. "Please, you was all nervous and stuttering and shit. You couldn't even get a word in. Look Vee, I'm a girl and I already know how I would react if a girl answered my man's phone so don't bullshit me. That's why me and baby daddy not together."

  I had to laugh because I know I was playing myself trying to lie when I'm sure she heard Char's screaming through the phone.

  "No doubt, we beefing right now so hearing your voice wasn't a good look but don't worry 'bout it, it's nothing." I cleaned it up.

  "I'm not worried, trust me. I got my own shit I gotta worry about." She said laughing.

  "Yea, you right about that." I smirked as she playfully punched me in the arm. "Ok, I need you to stay here until I get back. I shouldn't be long and then we'll go get you strapped with some iron." I smiled as I grabbed the handle to exit the truck.

  "Why can't I come in, is it a secret?"

  "Nah, it's just some business I need to handle that can't really wait. Don't worry, I'll be right back before you know it." I reached in the back and pulled out a case filled with DVD's and hit a button on the console and a 13" monitor flipped open. "Here you can watch some movies to keep you occupied while I'm in there, ok?"

  "You gonna be in there that long that I'll be able to watch a movie?" Stacey took the case and started flipping through the selection of movies.

  "I'm not saying that, I'm just giving you something to do while I'm gone so you won't be bored, aiight?" I shook my head and exited the truck without waiting for her response.

  As I approached the warehouse I tried calling Char one more time, I didn't want her thinking I was fucking with Stacy. She was so fucking mad when she heard her voice she didn't allow me to say shit. With all the shit we going through right now, I don't need her thinking I'm fucking with some bitch because I think she clipped me for my stash. I know she jumping to conclusions and wilding out because she left me behind some bullshit I don't even understand.

  I dialed Gert's number and waited for her to pick up.

  "Hello?" I heard Gert's voice.

  "What's up Gert, this Vee. I don't mean to call and keep bugging you with me and Char shit but she just called and the T Mobile girl was setting up my phone and answered it and Char blacked out without giving me a chance to tell her what happened. I tried to call her back but like usual my shit going straight to voicemail. Just let her know she wrong about the phone call." I know I sounded like I was pleading but the fact is, I was pleading because I want us to work out. I know I look like a lame but I'm in love with Char and I'm going to do everything I can to save our relationship even if it
means looking like I'm weak to other muhfuckas, ain't no fronting when it comes to love.

  "I didn't even know anything about that Victor. I was just talking to her a little while ago and she was all distraught and shit. I told her she needed to tell you she's pregnant...did you tell her you know she's pregnant?"

  "Nah. I ain't say shit about that."

  "Oh ok. Well she said she was going to call you and tell you and I went to run her a bath. I thought everything was all right with y'all because she skipped the bath, took a Puerto Rican shower, got dressed and bounced out of here. She didn't look or act like she had an attitude so I figured she was on her way to meet you because of how fast she was moving." Stacy told me.

  "Hmmm. She ain't tell you where she was going?"

  "No, I honestly thought she was going to meet with you."

  "Why you think that? I mean was she dressed too sexy or something?" Now the female emotions in me were surfacing.

  "Nah, nothing like that Victor. I was just saying that because she didn't seem mad that's all." Gert clarified.

  "No problem. I just wanted to know where she went. Thanks Gert. Hit me back if you hear anything."

  "Hear anything like what? You know Char is my friend right?"

  "I know, I know, I'm not asking you to snitch on her. I was just saying...aahh forget it. Thanks anyway." My emotions were getting the best of me all of a sudden.

  "I'm really sorry you're going through all this Victor. I hope y'all work this out. You two make such a nice couple." Gert said then disconnected the call.

  I hung up and walked up to the door and rattled it a couple times. The door opened up slightly and I pulled out my 'Nina' and walked in. Although it was light outside inside was dark and my eyes had to adjust. The warehouse was once a factory that cleaned linen for the local hospitals in the area.

  "What's good Vee? I thought you was gonna miss out on the fun." Les had a wicked smile on his face.

  "I wouldn't miss this for anything." I said as I looked around.

  "Come on downstairs so you can see this shit for yourself." Les was almost skipping to the stairs.

  I followed him, anxious to know what surprise he had waiting for me. When we got to the bottom of the stairs he opened a door and I when I walked in I saw a guy kneeling down facing the corner.

  "Who the fuck is that?" I asked. One of our shooters was sitting in a chair with a blunt dangling from his mouth pointing a gun at the guy in the corner.

  "That my friend is the muhfucka who was driving the fucking Hummer." Les said as he walked over to the guy.

  "Get the fuck outta here! How you...never mind. You pumped him for any information yet?" I was going to ask how he got the muhfucka so fast but that didn't matter, what mattered was if it was an independent hit or sanctioned by a group of muhfuckas looking to move in on my lucrative drug real estate.

  "I tried. Can't lie, this muhfucka acting like he don't understand what I'm talking 'bout. See can you break him."

  I walked over to the guy and pointed 'Nina' to the back of his head and nudged it forward.

  "Yo, turn the fuck around!"

  He didn't turn around or move and I heard Les laugh out loud.

  "Muhfucka act like we playin' games wit' him fam! I told you!"

  I smacked him upside his head and hit his ear so hard it instantly swelled. He fell over sideways and rolled over. I stomped his chest and put my boot between his neck and shoulder and pointed 'Nina' at his forehead. The look he displayed was not one of fear and for some reason it infuriated me. He was young, couldn't have been over 22 years old, no facial hairs but soft wavy hair on his head. I couldn't understand why they was willing to give their life for such an unworthy cause and then be loyal to the bitter end. I didn't recognize him as one of my enemies and he was too young to have enough sense to want to take over someone as strong as me in the streets. Someone must have sold him a lottery ticket and told him he was going to hit the jackpot with the pay off he was going to receive once my empire had fallen. It was sad how they threw their lives away for some fake street power, credibility, and recognition that only mattered as long as you stayed on top but what they are never told is that this shit is designed for failure and no one retires off it. Yea, what about me right? I'm the exception to the rule and not many can say this because someone like me is rare in the hood. Of course my shit has an expiration date and of course I'm susceptible to all the negative effects the game has to offer but I'm just lucky...right now. Don't get me wrong, I take my shit serious and I'm ruthless and plays no fucking games when it comes to protecting mine, my team, my money and my family, I'm not to be fucked with! That's one of the reasons I've lasted this long doing this, I don't give a fuck about killing a muhfucka that want my fucking spot!

  "Look youngin', you might can get a pass if you tell me who sent you at me like that. I know this ain't your fight. What would your young ass know about running a multimillion dollar drug operation smack dab in the middle of the hood? So come on and tell me who sent you and I'll put you on so you won't have to do no more dumb suicide missions like you a fucking terrorist and shit, just so you can get enough money to feed your family."

  The young man looked at me his expression one of defiance and then he dropped his head. I lifted it with the barrel of 'Nina' and then jammed it into his mouth and pushed him all the way back to the wall. I grabbed his throat in my left hand and squeezed his jugular, stopping the flow of blood to his brain.

  "I really don't give a fuck if you tell me anything 'cause I have no patience and I don't really negotiate. I'm going to make sure my boys take their time with you for being so tough and stupid. You're going to be the example I send out to your people so the next muhfucka they try to send will have you for a reference of what will happen once I catch them." I tightened my grip around his throat and watched his eyes turn crimson red while he struggled for oxygen. His eyes suddenly emitted a different emotion.

  "You scared to die muhfucka!" My words dripped in his ear. "Blink twice if you want air." He blinked twice immediately and I released my grip slowly allowing air back into his lungs before he passed out. "I'm not going to ask you again, tell me who sent you at me." I pulled 'Nina' out his mouth and he started coughing.

  Les walked up behind me and whispered, "Boy I don't know what it is you have but you can always get a muhfucka to tell no matter how hard they try to be."

  I turned around and looked at my comrade, "I don't play no games and they can see it in my eyes."

  The young boy stopped coughing and regained his breath and composure then looked at me with watery eyes. I was planning on killing him either way it went. What really upset me more than anything was how muhfuckas would rather put a hit on me either because they mad at how much bread I make or because they think if I'm out the picture they'll be making the same money I'm making and they don't even know the numbers I'm doing, it's all a guess or some muhfucka lying about they saw me pull out $500,000.00 from my pocket. Who would believe that shit? It's like them muhfuckas out west who call in about UFO sightings. Instead of these clowns trying to make me lay down they should be trying to find a way to be down, it's enough money out here for every man who is willing to put in the work to get or maintain it. Bringing all this gun play to my hood doesn't do anything but make it hot and put flood lights on what I'm doing. It's not like the police don't already know what I'm doing already, I'm sure the feds got me under surveillance and the most they'll ever get on me is possession of a firearm because I don't touch shit and I don't make transactions. This is why the game if fucked up now, I learned the way you have longevity is to keep a low profile and treat your team good. Make sure they get enough money to keep them happy so that hate will never play a factor inside your organization. I made sure I gave my team respect but I also made sure they knew I was the fucking boss. I built trust and loyalty by taking care of their families if they ever got pinched while on duty but if they got locked up doing something that jeopard
ized the team and my organization, they were dealt with...permanently. I took no chances, I had a team of lifers in jail just for situations like that.

  "I don't know who set this up. I'm independent and get my jobs through texts." The guy finally spoke.

  "Who you receive the text from?"

  "I don't know, it's anonymous. I never met him, I just get the job and what they want done." He responded flatly.

  "What the fuck you talkin' 'bout you never met him and you just get the job and what they want done? Who the fuck you 'posed to be, Ethan Hawke?" Les jabbed.

  "He must really think so but I'm sure he realized it was 'Mission Impossible' when he took this job and came gunning for me." I added to what Les said. "How did they know you were available to hire for hit contracts?"

  "I'm on 'Craigslist' under 'Hitman for hire'." He answered seriously.

  "Are you fucking kidding me? You put an ad out? You gots to be the dumbest muhfucka with a gun. You should be on World's Dumbest Criminals." I said laughing. I couldn't believe how stupid these young dudes were getting in the age of technology. I don't know who their fucking mentors were but they weren't teaching them anything on how to stay free. Instead of them wanting to fly under the radar with their crimes they're on online posting pictures of weed, stacks of illegal money, bagged up coke and their arsenal of illegal guns. It's not funny, but I gotta laugh because they show their faces in the fucking pictures like what they doing is legal; how fucking dumb is that. Then you have the real dumb asses who videotape themselves holding guns, pointing it in cameras, smoking weed, pulling out knots of money, showing their stash and I even seen one where they pistol whipped a muhfucka and it's all televised for the millions online to see. The crazy shit is they in front of the building where they live and they so cocky they show their address as a show of fearlessness to whoever wants to come 'check' them and they usually get that five minute celebrity status when those boys in blue pay them a visit and in shocking contrast video tape their arrest then plaster their photos all over the news showing how stupid they were in leading them straight to them with no real investigative work on their part.

  "Give me his cell phone." I held my hand out to Les. When he gave it to me I powered it on and after all the booting the shit did it had a security lock on it. "What's the code?"

  "7635." He answered.

  I put in the code and checked his text messages. I scrolled through the history and found what I was looking for. This little muhfucka was practically more stupid than I thought. His conversation with the 'anonymous' contact had their name and number in the text message. I saw my picture as well as pictures of Les and some of the workers on my team all standing in front of the building. I read the last text he sent:

  Dogcatcher: "Didn't catch the dog at his neighbor's house but I'll catch him at his dog house 'cause I know I had him running scared with his tail between his legs."

  Kennel: "I heard. Make sure you take a pic of the dead dog and then the office will send you your payment."

  "How much they was going to pay you for me?" I asked. I wanted to know how much I was worth dead tot the muhfuckas who wanted me so bad they sent an inexperienced toddler to do their dirty work.

  "Fifteen thousand for the body and twenty thousand with proof." He said almost in a whisper.

  "Twenty thousand? That's all! Do you know how much I'm worth you little muhfucka! Do you even know who the fuck I am!" Twenty thousand was fucking weekend money to me. I gave that to my fucking workers, I made 1 million a fucking month, every month. My net worth for the year was $12.5 million, no taxes and all made under the eyes of the John Law. "You did this for a measly twenty thousand dollars! I'm insulted. I'm a lion and I protect my fucking family. You made the biggest mistake of your young life and I'm sorry you have to pay with it!"

  I pointed 'Nina' at his head and fired five times until his onion exploded. Particles of blood and brain matter splattered all over the wall and floor and some of it got on my clothes and my face.

  "Damn homie, that was kinda brutal." Les said looking at me and spitting on the floor from the carnage. "You got so much shit on you, it look like he finished the job instead of you finishing him."

  I was seething because for short money the little youngster had to lose his life. I couldn't have possibly let him live after making an attempt on my life because had he been successful, I wouldn't be here. It was something I lived by. If you try to kill me, make sure you don't miss because I won't if given the chance.

  "I got an idea Les." I looked down at the body. "How bad do my face look homie?"

  "You covered in red paint fam, you look like a trauma patient."

  "Ok good." Here, take his phone. I passed Les the phone then laid down on the floor. "Take about two flicks of me." I closed my eyes and Les took the picture of me then I got up and looked at them.

  "Damn this shit is spooky. I really look dead." I saved the picture then forwarded it to the 'Dog Kennel' with this message:

  Dogcatcher: "The dog is dead and here's the proof. I'm ready for my payment ASAP."

  I pressed send on the cell phone and looked at Les.

  "Why not get paid on the back end. Me and you'll split it." I laughed. "Hold on to this and when you get the response hit me back."

  "No problem. I'll clean this shit up." Les threw me an old towel that was in one of the many empty boxes in the old warehouse.

  I wiped my face, hands and clothes as best I could then threw the towel over onto the young boy's body.

  "Keep this between me and you Les, I want this to play all the way out. Don't let none of the workers know I'm alive because if this came from inside our camp, and it looks that way from the pictures that were taken, I want to know which one of the workers is the fucking rodent!"

  "Say no more homie. So you gon' be low until we figure who behind this whole shit?" Les asked as he rubber gloved his hands.

  "Yea but I'll be available." I smiled and slapped him five and turned to leave.

  "Aiight Vee, I'll hit you soon as I get some feedback." Les said.

  "Kool. I'll holla at you later on."

  I walked back to my truck and opened to door and jumped in.

  "Sorry I took so long." I said to Stacy as I put the truck in drive and pulled off. She didn't say anything and when I looked over at her she was staring at me with her mouth agape. I looked up in my rearview and I saw smeared blood still on my face and then I quickly looked down at my shirt and noticed the specks of blood all over it.

  "I'm scared to ask what business you had to handle with that blood all over you." She finally said.

  "You should be so don't ask." I said seriously. I wasn't about to tell this stranger I'm doing a favor that I just bodied somebody, how smart would that be when I just said how dumb these young muhfuckas are? I know I'm smarter than that!

  I pulled over and jumped out my truck and went to the back and opened the back door and pulled out a bag filled with clothes I kept in the event I had to just up and leave town. I kept $50,000 stashed in a secret compartment so wherever I went I would not have to worry about money. I pulled out a clean Polo shirt and changed then put the blood speckled shirt inside a bag. I had to remember to burn that shit, I didn't need anyone finding that shit and linking me to that young boy's murder through the DNA on my shirt. I went back to the trunk and jumped in and looked at Stacy.

  "This better?"

  She smiled nervously and nodded her head.

  "Now we're on our way to get that thing that will stop that muhfucka from beating your ass when he feel like it." I knew she was nervous after seeing me with all that shit on my shirt, I would be too. People usually treat you a whole lot different after they realize you really are into some deep shit. What they don't understand is that this shit is my job. I sell drugs that fuck up families, lives, and households and from time to time I may have to kill a muhfucka, that's what I do. Just meeting and talking to me, you might not see that but if you see me 'at
work' then you will view and talk to me differently after, trust me.

  "I'm hoping I won't have to use it." She said looking out the passenger window. Her demeanor suddenly changed and she was short with her words. I hope I ain't scare her like that.

  "I can tell you one thing, if you not ready to use it if you have to then you might find yourself on the other end of it if slow to react. You understand what I'm telling you?" I said to her seriously. Depending on the situation, having a gun can make matters worse for a person who isn't absolutely sure what they're going to do. I learned a long time ago that if you pull it out you better be prepared to squeeze that trigger because if the person you pulled it on is enraged and not thinking rationally, that gun is not going to be a factor. Some people use it as a tool to scare someone who they're threatened by but if that person thinks you're bluffing, you may see a bad day.

  "I'm ready, trust and believe that." She said defiantly.

  "I hope so 'cause ain't no second chances once you step into that world, no turning, no 'I wish I didn't' and definitely, no sorries." I had to be honest with her. I was about to place a killing machine in her possession and whatever the outcome of what she did with it, I would be part responsible.

  Stacy turned to me and her smile was weak but she looked serious as she spoke, "I really want to thank you for doing this for me but I can really do without all the comments and remarks. I know what I'm doing because I'm tired of going through all the shit I'm going through. I'm not second guessing myself, I'm here and I'm not going to change my mind. If that muhfucka fuck with me one more time, it's gon' be his last fucking time!"

  "I hear you loud and clear but the comments comes with the ratchet, you can't get it without it because I have to be absolutely sure I'm not putting it in your hands without you first knowing exactly what the consequences of you having one is. My conscience has to be crystal clear once I give you that because I won't be responsible after. You understand what I'm saying?"

  She looked at me with one eyebrow raised then shook her head slowly then smiled that weak smile again.

  "It's real funny to hear someone that does what you do have such a great concern about something like this..." I interrupted her immediately.

  "You're judging me? Stacy, I'm a man, I'm not heartless. I do know how to love and I am compassionate about a lot of things. What I choose to do to financially does not define my character, I have a mother who raised me with morals and values and although people may not understand my choices it doesn't give them the right to judge me."

  "I'm not judging you Vee. I'm sorry if that's how it sounds but it came out wrong. what I was trying to say is that the fact that you care about making sure I understand the ramifications of getting a gun is...sexy." Stacy's cheeks looked a little flushed and she lowered her head.

  "Oh so now what I do is sexy huh." I laughed. I didn't know she was feeling me like that especially the way she carried on earlier when I went over to her house. It was flattering to have her think the way I conducted myself was sexy but I couldn't get involved with another broad while I'm trying to get my first lady back. "All that shit you talked earlier at your crib, what was all that?"

  "What shit I talked at my crib?" She looked up at me from the corner of her eye.

  "All that 'you not interested in a muhfucka that hustle and don't flatter myself because every female don't want a drug dealer' shit. You remember now?"

  "Yea I said that and it still stands. I was giving you a compliment on how you were acting, that doesn't mean I want to sleep with you and shit."

  "So you don't want to sleep with me? You're not attracted to me in any way, you just think the way I act is sexy? Is that what you're trying to tell me?"

  "Yes, I don't want to sleep with you and yes, I'm attracted to you in one way and it's because of the way you act. Are we clear?" She was looking directly into my eyes and if I wasn't mistaken she was eye fucking me.

  "Crystal." I replied and pulled into a parking spot and killed the engine. "This is it. Now when you come inside don't say anything unless asked, understand? This is not legal and people are leery of new faces." I was being totally serious again.

  "Ok." She replied dismounting from the truck.

  We walked up to a one story brick building and I stood in front of an intercom with a camera and rang the bell. After some seconds a voice answered through the speaker.

  "We're not accepting any visitors today."

  "I'm not a visitor, I'm a member." I spoke into the speaker and stood back a little in case I was standing too close to the camera.

  "Not talking 'bout you, the other visitor."

  Stacy was standing directly behind me so they noticed her.

  "She's not a visitor, she's my guest."

  "Not accepting any guests either."

  I pulled out a stack of hundreds and put it up to the camera.

  "Then you don't want these guests to come in either."

  The door buzzed and I pushed it open then pushed open a second door and entered into the lobby of the building. I was quickly approached by a burly black man with a long goatee like the dudes in Philly and Jersey sport.

  "Gotta check you fam!" He grunted.

  "Ain't no need homie." I pulled out my 'Nina' and he backed up and reached for his sidearm. "Slow down my dude, I'm not here to cause no drama, I'm here to pick up some fire power from the Iron Maiden but I'm not separating with this."

  "No burners allowed pass this point." He was holding an efficient .44 bulldog with the pistol grip. That joint was named correctly, compact with a hell of a bite.

  "I know the rules but you must be new so you don't know I'm an exception to that rule. Go fetch your peoples because you not going to get this 'Nina'. So this is going to be a standoff or a double murder." My eyes were locked on his and I was ready to squeeze if he blinked too fast.

  "Ok." He relented. "Wait here." He walked backwards to the back of the lobby and disappeared into darkness.

  "What the fuck are you doing?" Stacy whispered loudly, fear emanating from her voice.

  "I'm trying to get you that gun you wanted." I said plainly.

  "Ok but I don't want to get shot before I get it." She sounded frantic.

  "First of all, he woulda shot me and I woulda shot him and you woulda went home. Second, I'm not giving my ratchet to no fucking body unless slugs is spitting out of her mouth. Don't worry, he not ready to have a shoot out in a hallway over something as small as me not giving him my gun while he keeps his, how is that fair?" I laughed as a woman was wheeled into the lobby. She had silvery gray hair but it had body and her face was full and vibrant. She was slender but her breasts were the highlight of her looks, they were huge and her bust line was a distraction. She had a Gucci shawl on her lap that covered her legs all the way down to her feet.

  "Oh my God! Victor! I didn't know it was you! Come here boy and give me a kiss!" She turned around to her punk ass bodyguard and hit him in his forearm two times. "I told you to ask him his name Doobie." She looked back at me and smiled, her mouth full of straight white teeth. "How you doin' baby, it's been a couple months since I seen you. What's goin' on with you?"

  I stood up from my embrace and gave Doobie a dangerous stare.

  "Before you say anything, come on into the back so we can get comfortable, you not in a rush are you?" She looked at me then peeked behind me at Stacy who stood frozen looking and listening to everything that was being said. "You hear for business or this a house call baby?"

  "I'm here for business right now but I'll come back and chop it up with you later on this week." I told her as Doobie turned her around and wheeled her to the back of the lobby then into a spacious room.

  I beckoned Stacy and she followed behind me into the big room. There was a large wooden table in the center of the room surrounded by four leather high back chairs. Off to the right was a 48"sub zero refrigerator with a clear glass case showcasing the groceries inside. Next to it was an antiq
ue china cabinet filled with crystal and china. Along the wall was a huge leather sectional that took up the full length of two walls. I went over to where Doobie wheeled her in front of the board room style table and chairs. She was at the head of the table in her wheelchair and tapped the table next to her.

  "Come sit right here next to me baby. If this is a business call we need to handle that first and then we'll play catch up."

  I sat down first then Stacy looked at me and I nodded my head and she took the seat beside me. She never said a word, she just stared with wide eyes.

  "Ok, my lady friend here needs some protection."

  "Is this your girlfriend or your lady friend? What's her name?" She asked.

  I looked over to Stacy then said, "Her name is Stacy."

  "I don't remember you telling me nothing 'bout no Stacy. Is she new? What happened to you and Charmaine?"

  I laughed because if Stacy was somebody I was hitting and didn't know about Char, my spot would have just been blown up.

  "Nah, she just my lady friend. She needs protection so I brought her here so she could get something." I clarified.

  "Ok, what kind of protection she need? She going to war with a gang, an army of bitches, the police, her boyfriend...what?"

  "I think it's more for personal protection." I said looking at Stacy.

  "Boy stop your foolishness, if it's for personal protection you would had taken her to the hardware store and got her some Mase or a fucking switch blade, you wouldn't have brought her here. Now tell me what she need it for?"

  "I need it because my ex stalks me and beats on me when he catches me." Stacy blurted out.

  "Hmmm." She shook her head slowly and backed up in her wheel chair and wheeled over to where Stacy and I were sitting and grabbed her hand. "Look her precious. I know exactly what you're going through and believe me I know how scared you are but I have to warn you about taking this step. Fear is a dangerous emotion baby, it will push you to make life changing decisions you will have to live with forever. Have you went to the police and got an order of protection? I know they don't work because if a muhfucka want you dead that piece of paper can't stop them but what it will do is provide evidence that you were being harassed so if your fear caused you to make a decision, you will be able to beat your case. I'm only telling you this baby because I'm a survivor." She looked at me and smiled weakly. "Ain't that right baby."

  I nodded my head because I knew her story.

  "I'm in this chair because of my ex husband. He had a problem with his hands. When he got drunk he would use me as his punching bag and right in front of his son he would smack me but that soon turned to punches. I tolerated it because as a sober man, he was loving, responsible and a great provider but when them spirits in the bottle started talking to him, he turned into Dr. Jekyll. One day he beat me with a piece of lumber, a 4x4 piece about as thick as my forearm, he whacked me so hard in my arms and legs that I turned my back on him and he beat me and beat me until I was face down on the ground. He only stopped because he passed out. I lay there on the ground, afraid to move because he had fallen on top of me and if I moved he would wake up and beat me some more so I stayed down there maybe half an hour or more. When I heard him breathing heavy I decided to move him off me but my legs wouldn't move. I thought they fell asleep from his heavy ass body being on me because I couldn't feel nothing. Couldn't wiggle my toes or feel my damn thighs. This muhfucka had beat me so hard he fractured one of the discs in my back and paralyzed me from the waist down." She paused as she quickly wiped a tear that showed up unexpectedly. I looked at Stacy and her eyes looked glassy and of course the girl in me, I teared up a little only because it was such a sad story. "It didn't stop there because once he realized what he did he felt horrible and I believe he drank more to escape his responsibility for doing this to me not realizing the drinking was the reason. He would kick me in my legs, he would put out cigarettes on my feet and knock me out of my wheel chair. He was a monster and I endured that for months. I got an order of protection and took my child and went to my sister's house and the monster would come over there in a drunken stupor calling my name and threatening to kill me and my baby if he ever caught us outside. I called the police so many times all the dispatchers knew my voice. They never arrested him and he never went to jail for none of the things he did to me. I took matters into my own hands and asked my sister's boyfriend to get me a gun and he got me this cute little .32 automatic pistol with a pearl handle. He showed me how to point it and pull the trigger. It was a year later when I saw him at my baby's school. He walked up to me and kicked the wheel chair and said some ungodly things to me but I ignored him and prayed my baby would hurry up so we could get home. He followed me all the way home in his car and when I got to my sister's building he pulled out a gun on me and told me we were all going to be together, one way or another. All I did was close my eyes and I heard three loud booms and when I opened my eyes, he was laying on the floor leaking and I was holding a smoking gun." She lift up her Gucci shawl and produced a .32 automatic handgun with a pearl handle. "I don't go nowhere without this bitch...nowhere. I told you that story to let you know that you're not alone sweety and since those times, there are other options available to you. I don't know how bad your ex is to you but your story may not turn out like mine. You're walking now, you have your health and your wits about you. If you prefer this kind of protection over the legal kind, I understand. Do you still want to go this route?"

  Stacy looked at me then at her with water logged eyes and answered.

  "Yes, this is the route I wanna take."

  "Doobie, show her the starter selection." She said as she wheeled over to the sub zero refrigerator.

  Doobie walked over and opened the left refrigerator door panel, pushed a button and inside there were racks filled with a tiny arsenal of hand guns.

  "Come over here sweety and make your selection." She said as Stacy got up from where she was sitting and went over to the refrigerator. From my chair I could see her gasp at what she was looking at. Doobie became a customer service agent telling her about every gun and its functions while the Iron Maiden wheeled back over to me.

  "Now let's play catch up until she makes her decision. What's been going on with you Victor? Are you and Charmaine doing ok? When are you going to marry that girl?"

  "Me and Char are not getting along too well and it's a long story that we can't discuss now. I'll tell you later on this week when I come by your house."

  "Ok. Where you meet this lady friend? You know you can't rescue every damsel in distress Victor."

  "I know and believe me I wasn't trying to. I just happened to be there and she asked me for the favor. You know I can't watch that happen right in front of me and not do anything."

  "I know baby but be careful. I want to see you before this week is out. Come by Sunday for dinner, I'm making your favorite, turkey wings, wild rice, corn and my special upside down pineapple cake." She smiled wide.

  "I'll be there."

  "Bring Charmaine too."

  "I'll ask her."

  "I'll call her." She said.

  "Come on ma, you know I don't like you in my relationship like that. Let me handle it because if you do then..."

  "All right, All right. I'll mind my business. Just try and bring her, I haven't spoken to her in so long, it feels like months."

  "Ok. By the way, you need to try and find somebody else to hold you down in here because that muhfucka Doobie is whack and almost got flatlined in the lobby. You want me to send you over one of my gorillas? They not gon' let nobody get up in here in and if they try they'll set fire to that ass."

  "Doobie is just fine Victor and watch your mouth with that cussing. You know I don't want none of them young foolish guys you run around with up in my store, they'll make me hot as fish grease day one on the job with all that pants sagging and loud hip hoppity music in their Beats headphones." She laughed. "I'm good with Doobie, he mature and just came
home from prison with a goal in mind, not like them young boys who try to imitate those rap videos trying to make a million and never make it to nowhere but the same penitentiary cell they just left."

  "Let me find out Doobie more than just your bodyguard slash worker. He better not be sitting down at that dinner table on Sunday. I know that much."

  "Boy hush. I ain't hardly trying to hook up with no Doobie, he just work for me."

  "Yea, aiight ma. He better not be putting in work nowhere else." I chuckled.

  "Boy bye." She smiled wide again and I saw her laugh lines letting me know she was happy.

  My mom's was my world, she was the woman who kept me grounded, raised me Ford Truck tough and disciplined me with balance. She wasn't bitter for the hand life had dealt her, she looked at it as a lesson in life she should hand down to those who may go down similar paths. That's why she talked to Stacy the way she did. She had a good heart and although she sold illegal firearms she only sold it to people she felt and believed were in desperate need and wouldn't use it for any ill gotten gains. Her killing my father was one of the lowest points in her life, even worse than her being paralyzed. I never understood that but it was so profound it made me respect and love her that much more.

  Stacy walked over to us and placed the gun she chose on the table.

  "This the one I want right here. Doobie said it doesn't have that much recoil and will stop someone dead in their tracks."

  She picked an all black .380 automatic with a 16 shot clip. I was impressed.

  "How much?" Stacy asked as she pulled out some money from her pocket.

  "Put that away sweety. This is on me, you're the lady friend of Victor so it is free."

  "Aww thanks Mrs...."

  "Vee, just call me Mrs. Vee." She held her arms open for a hug and Stacy obliged and hugged her gingerly. "Put it in the case Doobie and seal it in a FedEx box." She looked at Stacy and held her hand in her own. "He's going to put a box of bullets in there too for you. There's also a trigger guard in there that I advise you to keep on it whenever it's in your home, especially if you have small children or teenagers in your home. Also, separate the clip and the gun, never put them in the same place but have them close by. If you have a lock box that's great but if not put it somewhere high but accessible to you if you need it in a hurry..."

  "Ok, ok. Why don't you just write down the instructions." I told my mother.

  "All right Victor, you know I'm longwinded. Ok sweety, you be very careful with that and be safe."

  "I will Mrs. Vee and thanks again." Stacy said as she turned to leave.

  I bent down and kissed my mother on her cheek then whispered in her ear.

  "Don't let him know I'm your son either ma. I want to see if I can catch him slipping."

  "Boy bye." She said laughing but I knew she knew I was serious. I wasn't ever going to let another man take advantage or hurt my mom's again...not while I was still alive."

  When we got inside my truck Stacy turned and looked at me and she still had tears in her eyes. I'm a sucker for a woman who cries, always have been.

  "What you crying for Stacy?" I asked softly.

  "This experience right here has been life changing. I don't know who that lady is but she made me think so hard about my life and all the shit I'm going through. It's crazy because she was practically giving me the same spiel you was giving me about getting the gun but hers impacted me more, not saying yours didn't have an impact, but hers came from experience and it touched me hard. I'm so sorry about what happened to her and I think I understand what she meant when she said she's a survivor. She went through a lot and continues to go through it because she has a constant reminder by being in that wheelchair." Stacy began crying openly and I literally melted right there. I become very emotional when a female cries. "I want to thank you and Mrs. Vee for all you've done for me today and I promise you I will go through the right channels so that I will be covered in the event I have to kill this muhfucka for fucking with me!"

  "No thanks needed." I said as I pulled off.

  Stacy looked at me and wiped her tears then smiled.

  "You taking me home now?"

  "Yea, why?"

  "I thought you might want to take me somewhere else."

  I looked over at her and I read her eyes. There was no need for me to take advantage of her because she wasn't really thinking rationally. She was caught up in her feelings and was feeling like I was some fictional knight in shining armor and I wasn't. I did what I did because as a small boy I watched my mother be abused, humiliated and permanently maimed by the man I used to look up to and once he paralyzed her and still continued his abuse, I vowed I would never put my hands on any woman or take advantage of them. I wasn't about to do that to Stacy even though I was tempted.

  "Someplace like where?"

  "Your place or a hotel." She started blushing again.

  "Ok. My place it is but you do understand that once you get there I'm gonna fuck you for less than 30 minutes, put you in a shower then put your ass in a cab? You still wanna go?"

  "Yep."

  I laughed out loud and headed back to her house. I wasn't going to do that to her. I had every intention to make up with my first lady Char, no time for fun right now.

  CHARMAINE

 

  I pulled into the parking garage at Kings Plaza and circled around until I found a parking space. When I exited my truck I looked at my outfit in the reflection of the truck. I have a banging ass body, there's no denying that but I was extra with this all black Dior cat suit that showed the perfect V print of my fat pussy and the roundness of this firm ass behind me. I killed the black with a signature beige and gold Louis Vutton belt with matching 7" stilettos. I know the outfit was screaming 'come fuck the shit outta me' and that's what I was going for but I didn't have any plans on fucking. That's what I told myself...seriously. I walked to the elevators and watched as some of the cars stopped and the men inside gawked but never said one disrespectful thing because the scowl on my face said I was ready to engage in verbal warfare.

  I rode the elevator to the main level and went upstairs to Nine West to kill some time since I was early. I went inside and looked at some of the cute sandals they had on sale and purchased two pair. It took me every bit of twenty five minutes to make up my mind so by the time I was walking out of the store my phone rang. It was from an unknown number so I sent it straight to voicemail. If you call my phone you better make yourself known because if not honey, you will be talking to a pre recorded message that will inform you of those childish tactics. I walked over to Baskin & Robbins and ordered my favorite, Pralines & Cream on a sugar cone. I know that shit was going to go straight to my thighs and ass but some added thickness on this chunky body is a plus. As soon as I turned around with my cone that beautiful muhfucka was standing in my face looking more delicious than the fucking ice cream I had in my hand. His presence made me hot and I could feel the ice cream begin to melt right in my hand.

  "Hey you." Jock sang with his sweet breath.

  "Hi, you're late." I said back to him.

  He looked down at his watch that looked like someone hit it with a bag of diamonds.

  "No I'm not, I'm early." He looked up at me. "I would never be late when I have to meet a beautiful woman that is willing to give me a chance to become her friend."

  Oh I hope he wasn't trying to bait me with some corny line, that's the worst.

  "Ok. Well you said you had a nice day planned, I can't for the life of me figure out what we gon' do in a shopping mall but eat, go to a movie or go shopping." I was being sassy because I didn't want him to figure out he made me weak with all that sexy chocolate all exposed in the open like that. When I thought about it, I already played myself because I didn't even lick my fucking cone since I bought the shit and turned around and saw his gorgeous ass.

  Jock grabbed my hand, obviously noticing I never licked my ice cream and pulled it to his mouth, tur
ned his head sideways and stuck that nasty pink tongue out and licked the side of the cone where the ice cream was melting and then licked between my thumb and forefinger which was the part of my hand where the ice cream had dripped on. EEEWWW that was the nastiest shit but my pussy did a quadruple somersault and instantly got moist and my nipples reacted like I just came out of hot tub naked and an Arctic breeze blasted pass, them shits was harder than frozen Raisinets. I know I couldn't hide it and didn't think this shit was going to happen so I didn't think to put on any pasties and didn't wear any underwear. Pussy moist and nipples harder than a muhfucka, he had to be thinking all kind of negative shit about me.

  "Why did you do that Jock. I don't know where your mouth been. Here, it's yours now." I pushed the cone towards him and he took it in his hands.

  "You sure?" He looked at me and inched it towards his mouth.

  "I'm positive." I said as my kitty began purring.

  He put the whole thing in his mouth slowly and sucked it like it was my clit and I swear I almost came when he pulled it out of his mouth and a little bit of it ran down the corner of his mouth like it was my cum. Then when he licked it with that nasty ass pink tongue I could have sworn it was so long it reached his chin. I was officially fucked up and wanted to leave because I was afraid what I would do if that muhfucka touched my fucking hand again.

  "I'll buy you another one. Come on." He was about to grab my hand but I moved it away before he could touch me.

  "Go ahead, I'll be right here waiting for you." I couldn't move, my pussy was leaking and my nipples were being uncooperative. I needed to go to the bathroom before it looked like I peed on myself.

  "I need to run to the ladies room Jock. I'll be back in a sec." I yelled over to him.

  He turned around and smiled with those gorgeous dental implants and wiped his mouth again with his tongue.

  "Ok but hurry up. I don't wanna have to lick this one up too and wind up buying you another cone." He laughed but I didn't find that shit funny. I was going to be in the bathroom for a minute trying to let my pussy air dry.

  "I won't be too long." I walked off to the bathroom and I could feel his eyes on my ass. I glanced back and sure enough that muhfucka was fucking me in his mind already. I made a mistake coming out here to see him, I know I'm mad with Vee but I'm deep in some shark infested waters, well shark infested is kind of harsh because he more in the tropical fish category. Anyway, I'm in trouble because every part of my body is screaming 'fuck him and fuck him good' but my mind is thinking rational telling me that I would be playing myself because I know I'm still in love with Vee. I'm just mad right now but that's no reason to give up these goods so quickly like a whore even though I'm dressed the fucking part. I'm such a fucking tease.

  I went into the stall, I took off one shoe, unbuckled my belt and pulled the cat suit all the way down to my ankles. I stepped one foot out and held it in my hand while I cocked my legs up on the toilet and inspected my kitty. She was sure enough saturated. I was about to pat her dry but when I rubbed my forefinger and middle finger on my clit by mistake, it sent an electric shock wave through my body and it was suddenly on from there. I rubbed my clit so fast and hard my legs almost gave out. I heard somebody come into the bathroom but I couldn't stop, I rubbed it so hard and started pumping my hips like I had a dick inside me and dropped the cat suit pants leg and started squeezing my nipples while moaning like I had a bad toothache. My eyes were closed and all I saw was Jock licking and sucking my clit like he did that ice cream. Thirty seconds later I was spent, clitoral orgasm are fucking great but they take a lot of you. Embarrassed, I pulled some tissue off the roll and pat dry my kitty then I licked my finger to taste myself. Now if you think that's some nasty shit that means your pussy is funky, my shit taste good so I enjoy tasting it every now and again to make sure it's right.

  I put my clothes back on and hurried out the stall and walked over to the mirror and made sure my face was still pretty and my hair wasn't out of place. As I did this a young girl came over to the sink next to me and started washing her hands. I peeked over at her and she was staring at me smiling. I'm strictly dickly so I didn't smile back, I never liked getting hit on in the bathroom it was just downright creepy to me.

  "Couldn't wait so you went ahead and rubbed one out huh?" She giggled as she turned to get some tissue to dry her wet hands.

  "Excuse me?" I couldn't believe the balls on this dike.

  "Oh don't be embarrassed, I've done that shit plenty of times when I'm wearing something so sexy I wanna fuck myself." She laughed out loud and it echoed in the empty bathroom. "And I'm not into girls, I'm just not ashamed of jerking off." She said and exited the bathroom.

  I finished checking myself then stared at the image in the mirror and said, "Behave yourself Char and don't let that fine muhfucka talk you into giving up none of Vee's good pussy."

  I walked out the bathroom looking even better than I did before I went in and Jock was standing right there waiting for me. Why the fuck did he keep doing that, he was throwing me off my pivot.

  "I was hoping I didn't have to buy you another cone. Here." He passed me the cone. "I hope you washed your hands, I heard women bathrooms are dirtier than gas station restrooms." He laughed.

  I rolled my eyes and was about to lick the ice cream and looked at him.

  "I hope you didn't lick it already."

  "I wouldn't do that, I already tasted your chocolate, remember?"

  "Whatever boy." I licked the cone and stared at him while he laughed. "I know you didn't..."

  "Nah ma, I'm just fucking with you. I would never. You ready/"

  "You better not. Now what I'm supposed to be ready for?"

  "We gon' start our date to get to know one another."

  "Ok, I'm ready."

  Jock grabbed my hand and I was going to resist at first but I let him take the lead. I followed him as we walked to Macy's and went straight to the jewelry counter. He and the attendant talked for a little while as I looked at some of the diamond rings they had on display. I knew Macy's jewelry was official but it was way too expensive. You could get some of those same diamond rings way cheaper at the Diamond District in the city. Jock and the attendant came over to where I was and he smiled with them gorgeous ass teeth again.

  "I want you to pick out whichever ring you want."

  I looked down at the tray in front of me and gasped. There were some big ass diamond rings on that tray, I don't know how many carats they were but they had to range from at least two to four carats. This muhfucka was really putting his bid in for this pussy. Vee never bought me a fucking ring or even took me ring shopping and here go this fine chocolate muhfucka who just met me a few days ago and he already tricking on a ring. I can't lie, whatever he was doing, it was working.

  "I couldn't accept any of these rings from you Jock. Thanks but that's a little too much." I was biting my tongue as I said that because deep down inside I wanted the pearl shaped marquise but I couldn't come off as a thirsty broad.

  "Why not? It's a friendship ring."

  "I don't know, they look more like engagement rings." The attendant looked at me and winked her eye. "And they are too expensive to be friendship rings, don't you think?"

  "Pick the one you want. You can't put a price on friendship." He said plainly.

  "I'm sorry Jock, I just can't." It was so hard to say that.

  "So you don't wanna be my friend? I figured the ring would be proof on how much I want you to be my friend. Declining it is like telling me you don't want to be my friend. Is that what you're saying?"

  There he go with this shit again, trying to make me commit to something. If I pick any of those rings and Vee see that shit, he'll instantly know a dude with money bought it and he would wonder what I had to do to get it, shit, it would only be right.

  "I don't mind being your friend Jock but an expensive ring like that says more than friends." I told him.

  "Is that what you th
ink? Why do people worry about how much something costs? If you can afford it the price of something shouldn't matter." Jock said shaking his head. I guess he was made of money talking like that.

  "That's not what I think but that's what anyone would think if you buy something so expensive and not even know the person that well." I tried to explain it to him logically.

  "Oh I think I get it, you not really worrying about people seeing you with such an expensive ring, you worrying about your man seeing it. I get it now." He whispered something to the attendant and she took the tray away and quickly came back with another one and placed it in front of me. "Pick out something from one of these then."

  I frowned when I looked at the display of cheap rings with stones that looked like they were made from colored glass.

  "Oh what's wrong, these too cheap to be a friendship ring?" He laughed.

  "Nah it's not that it's just..."

  "It's just that there's a double standard when it comes to money. Don't get the expensive shit but don't throw no cheap shit at me either. This is confusing. How about you pick whatever you see that you like and that will be that." He breathed out like he was a little frustrated. It was cute to see he really wanted to spend the way he wanted and when he got shot down he wanted to prove his point that cost did make the difference.

  I picked out a modest ring with my birthstone that wasn't priced over $1,000.00 and put it on and we walked out the store. He was determined to buy me something so I couldn't walk out without anything, I'm just saying. And the ring looked cute on my finger.

  "I didn't expect things to go that way but I did accomplish my goal." Jock said as we walked out of Kings Plaza and stood on the corner waiting for the light to change so we could cross that big ass street.

  He was on his cell phone when the light turned green and he took his free hand and grabbed mine then almost dragged me across the street.

  "You gotta hurry up, this shit changes fast and if you get caught in the middle it's a wrap!" He said as he continued pulling me across to the other side.

  When we made it across the street he let go of my hand and I followed him to this diner. We were seated way in the back and given menus.

  "I hope you hungry." He looked over his menu at me.

  "No not really but I'll have a salad." I told him perusing over the menu.

  "Ahh man don't tell me shit on the menu too expensive for you to order a fucking meal." He said laughing.

  "No silly, I'm just not hungry enough to eat a full meal right now, I just had some ice cream." I said giggling.

  "Aiight 'cause after that little situation at the jewelry counter I thought you was gonna shoot me down on whatever I try to do for you."

  "Not at all. I really appreciate the gesture Jock. I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable but I'm sure you understand where I was coming from."

  He grabbed my hand across the table and held it gently in his own, "And I'm sure you understand where I was coming from."

  If I was lighter skinned, my cheeks would be rosy red because he was so fucking sexy and his voice was like velvet, so fucking smooth.

  "I want to try to make this one of the best friendship dates you've ever been on." He said as he released my hand slowly and gazed into my eyes.

  "You're not doing a bad job, that's for damn sure." That shit was not supposed to come out of my mouth. He was breaking down all my damn defenses.

  "Well good because I want our friendship to last the test of time."

  "What you mean by that...test of time?" I asked with a baffled expression plastered over my face.

  "Look I already know that you probably didn't want to come on this date with me because you have a man and I respect that. I didn't expect you to call because you made it clear but when you did I was a little hype because for me it meant you were interested. I'm sincere in wanting to get to know you better so I planned on pulling out all the stops, not to impress you but to show you how serious I am in wanting to get to know you...on a friendship level." He smiled showing those perfectly straight teeth. "When I saw the outfit you were wearing, I felt like you purposely wore it as a test to see if I would handle you like a ride down, a jump-off or see if I really wanted to get to know you and not what's under that tight ass suit." This muhfucka was pulling my fucking card. "I did acknowledge the suit and believe me, you sexier than a muhfucka in it but my agenda is to secure a friendship with you before anything because I want you to know my intentions are genuine so we can form a connection, if there is one. The only way to achieve that is by spending quality time with you. This is my chance to show you what I'm about and what I want for us...as friends." There go his damn smile again. That shit melting me like that fucking ice cream we had earlier. "You came here with every intention of brushing me off right? You feel like you're cheating so you trying your best to make yourself not like anything that I offer to do for you, am I right?"

  This muhfucka just picked my fucking brain. Damn, that's some sexy shit! He's taking complete control of this whole date. I came here trying to play hard and fast but he peeped game quicker than a pit boss in a casino. I can't let him do this, I have to keep my game face on or I'm fucked...literally.

  "I ain't gon' lie, I did come with my guards up and that's only because I do have a man and this is a form of cheating on him." I just fucked myself.

  "This is cheating? You going on a date with a friend?" He was smirking.

  "Come on Jock, stop trying to act like you don't get it. You seriously trying to tell me that all you want to be is my friend?"

  "Yea, just your friend."

  "With no other intention than friendship?"

  He placed his hand over his heart, "That's my good word. All I want is for us to be friends, period. Is that so hard to believe?"

  "Yea, kinda." I know I was acting confused but I was, sort of, because I was starting to believe that maybe all he wanted was to be friends for real, I mean he was starting to become convincing; maybe he was one of those homo thugs.

  "Why? Because I'm a young attractive dude with boat loads of money and you're a beautiful woman with a bangin' body and supermodel attitude?"

  He did say boat load of money right? I'm not a gold digger but shit, boat load sound like more than what Vic had in that tiny little safe in his condo.

  "Honestly? Yes."

  He laughed out loud and I laughed right along with him; the ice was officially broken.

  "Well, you're right." He laughed even harder and called the waiter over to order but if I wasn't quick I would have missed what he just said. "You said you want the salad right?"

  "Yes, a grilled chicken salad. Thank you."

  He ordered our food and took it upon himself to order drinks for the both of us. I was not about to let him get me all loose so he could peel off this cat suit later on, no sir, not Char. I was on my 'A' game tonight despite what he was thinking with his smooth ass rap.

  "I don't drink on the first date." I said to him after he finished ordering.

  "Oh both those are for me, I got you a water. I figured with a salad you was watching that amazing figure in that meow suit you wearing so well."

  This guy is really on top of his game with his quick witted answers.

  "What time you need to be home?" He asked me as he picked up his glass and took a sip of water.

  "When I get there." I replied with a little sass.

  "Hey now, I was just being respectful by asking. I don't want you to get home late and get pounded out because you was hanging out too late with a friend."

  He was smiling again and I know what he was trying to do, get up under my skin and make me show that my man doesn't run the show and that I can do as I please. I'm not falling for it.

  "I'm my own woman Jock, no man and I mean no man dictates what I do, when or how I do it." I said I wasn't going to fall for it and here I am doing exactly what I said I wasn't going to do. This muhfucka is so deep into my head like a fucking brain s
urgeon. He's good at what he does, that much I'll give him.

  "I was just joking. I don't wanna get you upset, I'm having too good a time with you." He said. "Aren't you?"

  "It's ok."

  "Just ok?"

  "Yea, just ok." I smirked. I was good at giving back as much as I was getting.

  Our food came just in time and I said my grace then stuffed the salad in my mouth so I wouldn't have to talk for a while. I needed to get a breather from the smooth bars he was spitting at me like he was in a studio laying down a track.

  He finally broke the silence when he lifted his head from his plate and looked me seductively in my eyes.

  "I want to ask you a serious question Charmaine. Can I?" This was the first time since seeing me today he called my name. Yea, it was about to go down now, I could feel it.

  "I thought all the questions you asked were already serious, what's gonna be serious about this question now?"

  I got a chuckle out of him because I was trying to switch the tempo and tip the scales towards me controlling the conversation moving forward.

  "All my questions have been serious thus far but this one may be the most serious by far. Can I ask you the question?" No lie, my heart was beating like he was a boyfriend of 3 years and I was anticipating him popping the question.

  "Sure, ask away." I said smoothly as I sipped my water because my throat was so dry it felt like tumbleweeds were blowing across my esophagus.

  He put his fork down and grabbed the hand with the newly purchased ring on it and twisted it around on my finger. I felt a shiver go through my body but maintained a stone face, I think.

  "That day I first met you I knew I wanted to get to know you and when you said you had a man I figured my chances were slim to none but there was something that I saw that made me think I had a chance, you looked unhappy. If I'm right, it had something to do with your man and that's the reason you called to come out on this date with me. I'm attracted to you and want to get to know you better and I think you feel the same so my question is, do you want to be more than just friends or are you just with me right now because you and your man are going through some shit?"

  "That was two questions." I said trying my best to digest what this mind reading muhfucka was asking me. It was almost as if he was hypnotizing me and making me believe everything he said to me was actually what I was really thinking.

  "Not really, it's actually one question in two." He said slyly.

  Huh? I paused and paced myself because I didn't want to talk without thinking and I had been doing that lately because I was caught up in his gorgeous looks and fantastic body and beautiful teeth. Boy this muhfucka was damn near perfect.

  "Well Jock," I said pushing my plate away from me and wiping my mouth with the napkin, "I did tell you I have a man because that's the reality of my situation. No relationship is perfect so there will be times I'll be unhappy and times when I'm not. My coming on this date with you has nothing to do with me going through anything with my man because I have no need, I'm not missing anything in my relationship with him. My purpose had a little to do with curiosity and to see if it is indeed possible to have a platonic friendship with someone of the opposite sex...like a gay friend." I could see him swallowing hard at my last comment and he laughed a little.

  "So you are having problems in your relationship then?" He was totally ignoring the most important part I stressed about my relationship, me not missing anything in it.

  "Like I said, all relationships has problems but mine is not so bad that I would jeopardize what I have in any way." I was stone faced now, I'm sure of it.

  "So you're here to see if you can be platonic friends with me?"

  "Yea, ain't that what you was offering out the gate? Has it changed?"

  "Not at all. I'll take whatever I can get to be your friend. Bottom line."

  He was still holding my hand and had just released it and looked down at his plate.

  "When I was young I wasn't all that popular with females. Being dark skinned was like a curse back when I was younger. Light skinned girls called me names and shit and I used to have a complex about that but when I got older I realized my dark color meant dominance and strength. I made a promise to myself that I would make sure when I got older that I would have so much money and power that my color would not be a factor and I did that. I was always attracted to strong dark women and you're dark and you seem like you're strong. There's not a lot of females with those qualities and what makes you more appealing is you're not moved by money, at all. I know you have a man and if you're really happen with him I don't want to come between that but if there is a chance for me, I'm willing to show you how great of a friend I can really be to you." I heard violins playing while he talked, it was moving but I wasn't really impressed only because I felt he only told me that because he wanted to get some poom poom from me.

  "My story is somewhat similar Jock and I remembered being teased for my color and my size and like you when I got older I realized 'the blacker the cherry, the sweeter the juice'. My body developed curves, my titties got full and my ass bubbled out and I had the body bitches were going to plastic surgeons trying to duplicate. I think you're a nice guy Jock and maybe if I didn't have a man then I would consider something more with you but for right now we can only be friends and you and no one else can ever come between me and my man...only I can do that." I'm positive I made my point clear this time but it was hard to say because although all I said was true, I was tempted to fuck him and the only reason I wouldn't is because I believe it would be impossible to just have him once and that would be a major problem.

  "So I'm gon' be thrown into the 'friend zone' huh?" He shrugged his shoulders.

  "Yep, pretty much." My smile was weak, it was apparent that I had bruised his ego to some degree and I was starting to feel bad.

  "I'll take it. You ready to go?" He dug into his pocket and threw some money on the table not even waiting for the bill.

  "Um, yea." I got up from the table and headed out the door. I was ready to get the fuck out of there because the mood had suddenly changed.

  "You know I've never told that to any female before?" He grabbed me by the arm gently.

  "No, I didn't know that. It was deep." I said awkwardly.

  'I don't want you to think I'm soft because of what I told you. I only told you because, like I said, I want a serious chance with you." He was staring into my eyes trying yet again to break down my defenses.

  "I don't think that. It's very masculine for a man to show his softer side." I was being honest.

  He grabbed my hand and dragged me across that big ass street again and when we were in front of Kings Plaza once again he let go of my hand and stood in front of me.

  "Are you ready to go home or can we continue our date?" He asked as he looked at me with that damn smile.

  "I'm having a good time Jock, if you have some more things planned I'm not ready for it to end." I smiled a little too hard because I loved looking at his fine ass and I didn't want it to end so soon. I hadn't had the chance to check if he was holding something behind his zipper, just for curiosity purposes.

  "Ok cool." He grabbed my hand once again and he led me into the mall and then to the elevators and into the parking garage.

  I was wondering where he was going because if he thought I was going to get in the car with him and go anywhere, it wasn't going to happen. I followed him quietly as he answered his ringing phone.

  He answered and walked ahead of me but turned around and asked me to give him a minute while he took the call. I stayed behind him a few paces only because I heard him say, "mom" and figured he was speaking to his mother. I wasn't ear hustling but I think he wanted me to hear that so I wouldn't react to him taking a call while on a date with me. As I followed him to his car I could hear him raise his voice but I couldn't be sure what he was saying because it was incoherent due to the damn echo in the garage. He ended the call right before we got t
o his vehicle and he hit the remote and the blinkers flashed twice then he opened the back door. I cannot front, that fool was driving a Maybach and it fucked me up. This muhfucka wasn't lying when he said 'boatloads of money'. He was either fronting or he really was built like this. He leaned inside and grabbed something then turned around and handed me a large leather CD holder.

  "I wanted to take you to the movies but I wanted to avoid a crowd so we could enjoy some one on one time so..."

  "So you decided to bring me to your car to listen to some music...in the back seat?" Although I was impressed, I had to say that was the lamest attempt ever used to try and get some pussy.

  "No not listen to music, watch a movie...in the backseat." He clarified.

  "Same difference." I answered as I looked at the selection of movies inside the case.

  Jock leaned in the front and put the key in the ignition then hit a button and a large monitor came down from the ceiling.

  "Go and sit down." He said as he waited for me to get inside the spacious back interior of his luxury vehicle. He closed the door then went to the other side and entered sitting next to me.

  There were bucket seats in the back and in the middle there was a console that doubled as a mini bar and cup holder.

  "You decided on a movie?" He asked as he grabbed a bottle that had a Ace of Spade on it then poured it into a glass. He looked at me after pouring and proceeded to pour some in my glass.

  "Didn't I tell you I don't drink on the first date?" I asked him with a little bit of attitude.

  "You did and I forgot. You don't have to drink it. I have some water." He said apologetically. "Did you find something you want to see?"

  I was a fan of Kevin Hart so I picked out one of his most recent stand up comedies. Jock put the movie on and that's when I realized it was Blu Ray. When the movie came on it sounded like we were really in the movies then he hit another button and then curtains automatically closed out the outside world and we were alone, yea I said curtains. Fuck impressed, I was wet. We watched the movie and laughed because Mr. Hart was so damn funny. While we watched the movie he sipped and poured and sipped some more. I sipped a little too because I had gotten a little comfortable and began to feel a buzz.

  "You want to get a little more relaxed?" He asked me.

  "Huh?"

  He leaned over me and hit a button then the back of my chair reclined and a foot rest came out from the bottom and my feet lifted up. I felt like I was sitting in a recliner. Jock leaned up and smiled and I smiled right back. We stared at each other for a long time and then he leaned in for a kiss. I moved my neck back slowly and his eyes closed and when my head hit the back of the head rest his lips pressed against mine and we started kissing. We kissed for a long time then he slid his tongue into my mouth and the romancing intensified. My nipples got hard again and my kitty was soaked and sensitive. Jock's hands were all over me and I swear I tried to resist but it felt so good to be caressed and romanced that I didn't want him to stop. I kissed him back as hard as I could and before I knew it he was on top of me dry humping. His dick pressed against the middle of me so perfectly that if he grinded any harder we would have started a fire from all the friction. I don't know how long this went on but when I did finally come up for air the credits were rolling on the screen. Jock got off of me tried to conceal his own excitement by fixing himself discreetly but I saw him. He looked at me, almost like he was embarrassed, and he smiled weakly. I know he wished we went all the way and I kind of wanted it to happen but I went too fucking far already. One more sip and it might have happened. He finally got himself together and looked at me but he looked weird, his eyes looked misty to me. Maybe it was my fucking eyes.

  "Yo Charmaine, if I wasn't sure before, I'm positive now. I want you!" He declared.

  "Why? 'Cause I let you feel up on me?" I laughed weakly.

  "Nah, that's not the reason. I'm doing and feeling things for you that I ain't never felt. I been with females before so it's not like I don't know what I'm talking about, it's just...you're different." He was staring directly in my eyes and never blinked. "I've only been in love with one other broad in my life and she was from my country."

  This immediately piqued my interest because I was always curious about what guys thought love was because the guys I've been with that said they loved me sure didn't treat me like they did...wanting to sleep with my girlfriend or what other ride down they could find so they could get a 'nut'. Love for them is all about saying it to us because they think that's what we want to hear. They don't understand that we want to both hear it and shown it - that's how we figure out they don't when they say they do. Most men you have to tell them shit you like so many fucking times because they never listened to you the first time. How is it that I know what he likes to eat, his favorite color, his favorite show or movie and his fucking birthday? If I ask him any of those things about me he won't remember shit after me telling it to him hours ago. Love...they don't know shit about love.

  "You're not with her anymore?"

  "No. We not together because her father moved to another country for work and took his family with him. I tried to search for her but I had no luck." His voice had lowered and his eyes were actually misty.

  "Do you still love her?"

  He looked up at me, eyes watery, and spoke like he was in pain, "Yes, I still love her."

  My heart melted and I felt the love he had for her and I desired a man to love me that hard with that same passion. That was true love. I wanted it.

  "What was her name?"

  "Her name is Colisa and she is the most beautiful woman in the world." He looked at me momentarily and smirked. "Next to you."

  I don't know if this was all a part of his game but if it was, the shit was working. My emotions were frazzled and all over the fucking place. I desired his love more than breathing at the moment. The story was so romantic he couldn't have made it up so quickly and he there's no way he could know I would react to it this way.

  I smiled and I looked up at him grabbed his hands in mine and I kissed him so passionately and so hard I was trying to stuff my whole head inside his mouth. I needed him to love me, I wanted him to love me the way he loves Colisa. I knew I was wrong but it felt so right so my guilt was going to have to wait until my night with Jock was over with.

  I stopped kissing him and looked him into his dreamy eyes and swallowed hard.

  "Jock. I really do like you and if I wasn't in a relationship then maybe..." He cut me off.

  "Nah Charmaine. I'm not hearing that you got a man shit. You already told me that and I don't mean no harm but that muhfucka need to find another girl 'cause you gon' be mine."

  That shit sounded so sexy and masculine but I couldn't put Vic in no predicament where he had to fight some dude over me, that was whack and dangerous. I don't want to see nothing happen to him, I love him despite the bullshit we going through. Now this muhfucka Jock, he doing and saying all the right shit and I can't lie, I could see myself with him...if I wasn't with Vic. Am I still with him though? I mean, he don't trust me anymore since his little bit of money went missing.

  "But I don't even know you like that Jock. I can't throw away years of a relationship for a day of fun with you." I was talking in my baby voice trying to sound innocent and sexy at the same time.

  "Love is about taking chances and life is about living in the moment. What we did tonight is enough for you to at least know how I am and how you'll be treated. I know one thing, you won't be unhappy." He was being so aggressive not wanting to take no for an answer.

  "What happened today was a date Jock." I said smiling. "If we were in a relationship we wouldn't do this every day."

  "We might not do THIS every day but I will make sure every day would be like a date. We'll do something different all the time."

  "That sounds good but I doubt you can do that...every day." I was loving his attempt at trying to make me commit to being his girl, it turned me on.
/>
  "You won't know unless you take a chance and find out. I'm in like with you Charmaine but it could turn to love if you're open to trying something new."

  All the things a girl loves to hear, he was telling it to me and it was fucking me up.

  "Ok, I'm going to give you a chance Jock but just know that I'm not going to give you no pussy because I'm still with my man." I sounded so stupid but I couldn't let this muhfucka and the chance to really be loved by a man go. I love Vic, I do but I want to be loved by a man that knows how to love me the way I need to be loved. Fuck what you think about me, I'm going to take a chance with Jock.

  VICTOR

  I don't know what I'm doing still sitting here in my truck with it running in front of this building. I been trying to call Char's phone all night but she still on that bullshit sending me straight to voicemail. I called Gert's house and she telling me she not there but I didn't believe her so I rode over to her house and I'm sitting in front of the building because I'm going to wait for her to pull up so we can stop this shit once and for all. I want her to come home and I'm tired of playing these fucking games with her.

  What females don't understand is that when we fall in love with them, we love hard and if you hurt us we cry like babies for our mama. Once we experience that hurt, we never get over it and our next relationship we will put up a small shield just so we don't get hurt again and man if we do, that's the last time for any other female until the 'right' one comes along and shows us that loving her isn't anything to be afraid of. I love Char the way I know how to love, I don't know how to love her any other way and that should be good for her only because the love I'm giving is from my heart. When y'all start dictating and telling us how to love y'all then that love you receiving from us is filtered to your liking and not as authentic as us loving in our awkward raw way. My baby Char is no different from any of the females that want that special love and I know that so I tried to give her all the love she wanted and needed but she always dissatisfied with something, always complaining about something. She cried about time and I gave her that, we would go out to eat at some expensive ass restaurants, we would go to some exotic island for vacations, I would sit in the house with her and watch movies and listen to her tell me some boring fucking stories about her dirty trifling friends, that's spending time but she hit me with some bullshit about 'quality time'. All of that was quality time, she was just being difficult, selfish, spoiled and stubborn. I used to come in from the club or from work and I would give her the best back shots in the world and she complained because I didn't eat her pussy but what difference does that make if I make you pee all over yourself when I stick my pipe in your tight ass pussyhole? I munch out on her but sometimes I like it hard and rough and I thought it brought variety to our sex life but even that was a fucking problem for her.

  I saw some headlights approaching and I could tell it was her. I waited until she passed my truck and then I jumped out when I saw her parking. She didn't notice my truck so I got out and was about to walk over to where she was parking to wait on her to exit her truck so we could talk. After trying to put that truck in the parking spot she finally got it and I saw her looking in the mirror on her visor and checking her make up like she was getting ready to meet somebody. When she stepped out the truck, my jaw dropped and my dick rose in my pants. She looked like the Catwoman minus the fucking mask and ears, her body was sick and I was about to walk over when I saw her walking towards the back of her truck. A sleek ass Maybach pulled up next to her and double parked and she danced her funky ass over to the driver's side and leaned into the window with her ass poked out like she was a prostitute on the track trying to pick up a trick. I felt frozen for some seconds, I couldn't believe she would violate me like this. Fuck with another dude this fast, that's not wifey material, that's hoe tendencies, she the foulest. My heart ached like somebody snatched it out, squeezed all the blood out, slammed it on the ground then stomped it until it was flat and dry. I was crying but this was a mixture of pain and fury - a deadly combination. My teeth were gritting and I put my hand on my 'Nina' and walked towards her, my strides long like I was a giant. Right before I got to her I pulled 'Nina' out and held her down to my waist then grabbed Char by the back of her neck and snatched her from the window of that car. She was shocked and off balance as she stumbled backwards. My grip was firm and my voice was thunderous.

  "What the fuck you doin' Char?" I was looking at the dude as I spoke to her. I wanted to take a Kodak and keep his image seared in my brain in case he peeled off on me. Char couldn't even speak, she was busted and was mumbling some incoherent shit that I couldn't make out. I looked at homie and put on my grown gentleman swag to see what it really was with him.

  "You can keep it pushing fam. If she ain't tell you, I'm her man so this don't have nothing to do with you. I'm going to give you a pass, bounce my dude." My eyes were steady and I still held her firmly by the neck in one hand and kept my 'Nina' poised in the other.

  He looked like he wanted to say something but men are beasts and we read each other by our eyes. He saw he was at a disadvantage, in a car with no burner in sight to grab, I could dump sixteen in him through the doors if he flinched.

  "Look man, don't hurt her on the count of me. She told me she had a man and I pushed the issue, if you gon' get violent, it should be with me." Jock said.

  I threw Char to the floor and hit him in his face so hard with 'Nina' that blood exploded everywhere. I fumbled desperately with the lock then finally got the door open and tried to snatch him out the car but he had his seatbelt on. What kind of 'G' was he wearing a seatbelt? I proceeded to pistol whip him in the driver's seat, giving him no room to grab anything to defend himself. He yelped like a girl and blood stained that pretty butterscotch leather interior, his dash, his windshield and his clothes. I continued connecting until I heard Char screaming, "Leave him alone Vic! Please don't hurt him! It's my fault!" I couldn't believe what I was hearing, she wanted to rescue this muhfucka from me, her man, for beating his ass after he clearly violated and practically asked me to whip him out. I turned around quickly and snatched her by her cheek and squeezed.

  "You'll do me dirty like this? You wanna fuck me twice? Over what Char? I ain't been nothing but good to you and you do me like this? You won't get a third chance!" I turned and shoved her into the front seat with the dude she was fucking and she spilled all over him. "Play doctor on him bitch!" I turned around and trotted to my truck as I heard that clown screaming 'I'm dead' and shit like I would expect him to say something less than that in front of her. He was the one leaking blood not me. Before he would be able to get back at me, he would have to heal from that broken nose and jaw 'Nina' just gave him.

  I opened the door to my truck, pulled out my phone and called Les.

  "I need you to come pick up my truck Les." I was breathing heavily.

  "No problem. You aiight Vic? You sound kinda pressed." Les asked.

  "I'm good but I had to put in some light work on some muhfucka's cabbage since he wanted to take Char's ass whipping!" I said while I hit the remote to close my truck doors. I became more enraged as I watched Char doctoring on the muhfucka then run and jump into the passenger side of the luxury limousine style car.

  "You need me to bring some of the boys so we can finish the job fam?" Les asked. You see, real homeboys don't need full details of what happened, they just ready to go to war for you - right, wrong or indifferent, that's a soldier.

  "Nah fam but make sure you strap up just in case this clown double back. He and the bitch leaving now, muhfucka licking his wounds." I said as I watched the lame blow blood bubbles trying to threaten me. I knew his jaw was broken for real then and I smiled then ran over to Char's truck while they drove off squalling tires like I didn't know that shit had a V12 engine in it. I laughed to stop myself from crying as I opened the door to Char's old truck and got inside.

  "Where your truck parked?" Les asked.

  "You remember where that br
oad Gert live? It'll be parked in front of her building."

  "Ok, no prob fam, I'm on my way. I'm gonna bring a couple dudes with me just in case. Where you headed?"

  "Back to my crib. I need to clean up." I told him as I cleaned out the glove compartment of all Char's bullshit and threw it out the window.

  "You think that's a good idea Vic? Maybe she might tell that muhfucka where you rest your head, ya feel me?" Les always thought two steps ahead, that's why we were partners.

  "I thought of that already. I'm gon' have one of the shooters sitting outside the crib holding me down. Matter of fact, put the call in for me and have them go there now when we hang up."

  "Say no more, I'm on my way right now. Hit me if you need me."

  "Solid my dude. One." I disconnected the call and fired the engine up and pulled off.

  As I drove, I reflected on how much I loved Char and the way she hurt me by being with another dude in the matter of weeks of us having a fight. I wasn't guiltless but I loved her intensely and would do anything to prove that shit to her, even kill that muhfucka if needed but it would only be for her...not over her. My rage was something I could control but my love for her I couldn't get a grip on it, it eluded me. It's as if she didn't love me anymore, I bust that dude face up because he was out of pocket with what he said to me. I gave him a pass and he wanted to show he had nuts when he should have just saved face, literally and took his pretty ass home then called her, simple. But he was looking for points, that's something I would have done but I promise it would have ended differently, I would be on the side I'm on now. I think she's gone for good now, how could I take her back after she left with that muhfucka like he was her man...was he?

  CHARMAINE