Mallory shook her head. “How about I go put the kettle on, and you tell each other your bloody complaints?” She laughed to herself as she walked away.
Seeing the two of them back to their usual banter was a huge relief. Everything had felt so uncertain there for a while, and it was clear that they had been handling each other with kid gloves. If only her own relationship worries could be resolved as easily. Her laughter ceased as she contemplated trying to explain her irrational fears to Greg. To her they weren’t irrational at all. But how could she make Greg see that the reason she was so scared was because of how much she loved him and not the contrary, as he was clearly assuming?
Mallory’s train was booked for eight o’clock the following morning. It was such a long journey, and travelling home on Christmas Eve was not the best idea she had come up with; but because Josie had been released from hospital much earlier than expected, she had stayed an extra day. The new mum had been very tearful about being at home whilst her little boy fought to get stronger in the hospital, and that wouldn’t change for several weeks… maybe longer. She kept thanking Mallory for being by her side whilst Brad fretted and fussed around her like a mother hen. Bless him, he was just so protective of his wife after what she’d been through to bring their son into the world, and he couldn’t really be blamed for that.
It was a chilly morning, and the sky looked heavy with an imminent snowfall. Mallory made sure to leave her warm, woolly scarf out of her small case.
Josie appeared at the door. “Are you all ready to go, hon?”
Mallory smiled, but the feeling didn’t accompany the expression. “I am. Will you be okay? You’ve been through such a lot. And with Edward still being in the hospital, maybe—”
“Maybe you should stop worrying and get home to that grumpy-arsed husband of yours and those gorgeous girls.”
Mallory opened her mouth, feeling rather affronted at Josie’s words. “He’s not grumpy-arsed, Jose. Take that back.”
Josie chuckled. “I knew you’d defend him. You know why that is?”
Mallory folded her arms across her chest. “Why?”
“Because you worship the bloody ground he walks on, and he feels the same about you. So get yourself back up to Scotland and jump his bones.”
Mallory felt blood rush to her cheeks. “God, you’re so crass.”
Laughter erupted from her best friend. “Oh, come off it. You’re not a bloody prude. I reckon you need a bloody good shag.”
Mallory tried not to laugh but eventually gave in and whacked her friend with a pillow.
“Taxi’s here, Mally,” Brad called from the living room. Mallory placed her coffee mug in the sink and followed Josie through to where Brad stood.
She shrugged on her coat and grabbed her scarf, wrapping it around her neck. “Give that little boy a kiss from me when you go today.” Her voice broke with the emotion of leaving her friends.
Josie flung her arms around her and squeezed her tight. “Go get things sorted at home. Stop worrying and just be happy, okay?”
Mallory nodded wordlessly into Josie’s shoulder. “I just hope he’ll forgive me.”
“Don’t be daft. Of course he will. He’ll completely understand.” Josie pulled away and made direct eye contact with Mallory. “Think about it, Mally. The last five years have been a bloody roller coaster. The death of a lovely man, falling in love with another, giving birth to two babies. It’s enough to drive any woman over the edge. Maybe you should speak to your doctor. You may be suffering postnatal depression.”
Mallory had never even considered that possibility. “I’ve nothing to be depressed about. I’ve so much to be thankful for, and it’d be pathetic if I were depressed.”
Josie tucked a strand of hair behind Mallory’s ear. “Mally, depression is a real illness. It’s not you being pathetic. It’s you experiencing a hell of a lot in a short period of time and your hormones being all out of whack. It doesn’t mean you’re weak. I’ve researched this during my own pregnancy. I really think you should see someone, hon.”
She didn’t want Josie to be right, not about this. But perhaps she was. Mallory was a mother, after all, and so she couldn’t rule it out entirely. She nodded and pulled Josie into her arms again. “I will, I promise. And you take care. Don’t do too much. You’ve had major bloody surgery and you shouldn’t even be walking around.”
“Oh, God, don’t get like Brad,” Josie mumbled into Mallory’s shoulder. She laughed lightly.
Mallory pulled away and smiled at her friend. “I love you, you know.”
“And I love you too, you daft bat.”
After Mallory hugged Brad and then Josie one more time, she left the house and climbed into the waiting cab.
Chapter Thirteen
The journey to the station seemed to take forever, and it gave Mallory far too much time to think. Josie’s words rattled around her head. Depression was something she had never experienced before, so there was no reason she would recognise the symptoms. If she had it. She connected to the train’s wireless service and typed the word into the search engine bar.
She scrolled through page upon page of text, and after half an hour of reading, she had resolved to contact her GP on her return home. Depression wasn’t something she wanted for herself, yet as she realised that her irrational fears, insomnia, and feelings of helplessness were all explainable, a sense of relief filled her.
Flicking to a weather site, she decided to look and see if there was any reason for her journey to be delayed—but when she read the report she regretted it instantly. Storms and heavy snow had been forecast for the duration of the journey. Oh, great. All she wanted was to be at home with Greg and her girls. But the fear that something terrible could happen to her hit like a freight train. How would Greg cope? And the babies? Oh, good grief. Hitting the off button, she rubbed her hands over her face. Was this part of depression too? Worrying about things she couldn’t control before they actually happened? Was it normal to worry about things like storms and travel? She resolved that this was something that needed investigating further. She couldn’t deal with it alone.
That realisation in itself brought its own sense of relief.
The train’s catering staff wheeled a trolley down the aisle, and Mallory bought herself a piece of shortbread—to remind herself of home—and a coffee. Munching on the buttery biscuit, she smiled as she stared out the window at the monochrome landscape that spread for miles beyond the train’s windows.
Snowflakes fluttered to the white ground with gaining speed, and she was thankful of the warm drink before her. The train was less busy than she expected, and gradually, the further north they travelled, the fewer people remained in the carriage.
Once she had finished her coffee, she thumbed through the magazine she had bought at the station. It was filled with Christmas recipes and homes decked out in festive colours. A warm, fuzzy feel of excitement settled over her as she stared at a particularly heart-warming scene of a family. It could’ve been a glimpse into the future of her own little family. Two little girls with dark, curly hair sat beside a tree adorned with red, gold, and green. The dad wore an embarrassing Santa jumper, and the mum watched her daughters with a look of adoration. Mallory couldn’t wait to see Greg’s face on Christmas morning when he opened his gift. She had bought him a framed Flick MacDuff print of a village in the Highlands called Sheildaig. She’d decided that she would take him there for a romantic weekend away once the girls were a little older. The magazine held her interest for a few minutes longer, then she set it down.
The trouble with long train journeys was the boredom. Mallory spent a while reading her book until a headache began to throb at her temples. The lack of decent sleep was taking its toll, and sleeping in a bed alone hadn’t helped. She’d missed the feel of Greg’s arm possessively draped over her at night.
She managed to force down a packet of crisps and a cheese sandwich when the
trolley came around with lunch, and her head eased a little, and so she pulled out her book once again.
The train arrived at another station along the way, and further down the train, a group of drunken revellers boarded and proceeded to sing “When Santa Got Stuck up the Chimney” at the top of their voices. Mallory didn’t know whether to laugh or be pissed off. Luckily the group alighted at the next station, and a peaceful calm settled over the train once again.
Several hours had passed, and Mallory had finished her book. She rested her head back onto her seat and closed her eyes. Perhaps a nap will make the journey go quicker, and then I can be back with Greg and my girls.
The next time she opened her eyes, the sky had darkened. She figured she must have been dozing for a couple of hours. As she glanced around, she realised that she was the only passenger left in her carriage. Reaching upwards, she stretched as a yawn escaped. She turned to the window to see where the train might be—and gasped.
As she stared wide-eyed through the glass at the depth of snow that blurred the landscape, Mallory’s heart thundered as the snowfall came thicker and faster. Suddenly the train ground to a halt, the lights flickered, and she glanced nervously around her. The first-class carriage was all but empty, and the shiver that traversed her spine emphasised the eeriness of being alone.
A guard walked into the carriage and stopped beside her. “I’m so sorry, madam, but we appear to have lost power, and the track up ahead is completely covered in snow.” The worried expression on his face made her heart thump harder.
“Oh… I see. Should I get off and go find a hotel or something?”
“Oh, gosh, no. Please don’t do that. We’re on a two-track bridge. It’d be dangerous for you to disembark up here.”
Stuck on a bridge? Huh. What is it with me and bridges? “So… what happens now?”
“Well, I’ll bring you a warm drink and… and a blanket. Perhaps it would be a good idea to try and sleep.”
Her stomach churned and dread filled her. “But… I can’t… I have to get home.” Her words tumbled out faster and faster. “It’s Christmas Eve and I’ve promised my daughters and husband I’ll be there for Christmas.”
“I understand, dear. I really do. I want to get home too. But unfortunately, until we can get an engineer out here, we’re… um… rather stuck.”
Her lip began to quiver and she turned away from the guard. Searching through her bag, she grabbed her phone. “Right… well, I’d better let them know I may not be there, I suppose.” Glancing down at her handset, she realised there was no signal, and to top it off her battery was low. “Oh, great! This is just bloody great.” She sighed. It didn’t make her feel any better, so she slammed her bag down on the seat beside her, which didn’t improve her mood either. She rested her head back, and closed her eyes, pulling in a long breath that she hoped would go some way to calming her down.
“I’ll… I’ll leave you to it. I’m so sorry,” the man said before walking away down the train.
“Is this seat taken?” The voice was vaguely familiar, and she opened her eyes.
Her jaw fell open. “You?” How come the amber-eyed stranger kept on turning up unannounced?
He glanced around and then down at his body. “Yes, I think it’s me.” He smiled. “So, may I sit? I don’t know about you, but being on here alone is creeping me out.”
Returning his smile, she gestured to the empty space. “Oh, sure… yes, you can sit.”
“Great. Thanks.” He slipped into the seat opposite and folded his hands in front of him on the table. “I wonder how long we’ll be stuck here.”
Mallory huffed. “Oh, God, not long, I hope. My family is waiting at home for me.”
He shook his head. “Not good. Not good. Let’s hope we’re moving again soon then, eh?”
There was a long pause as she turned to look out of the window at the blizzard surrounding the train. “Are you on your way home too?”
“You could say that,” he replied with a half-smile.
Okay, so we’re going with cryptic answers, then? “I can’t quite believe this has happened. The blizzard came out of nowhere.”
His amber eyes sparkled with mirth. “Yes, the timing wasn’t great. It’s typical, isn’t it? People in this country spend all their lives hoping for a white Christmas, and when it happens, it’s at the most inconvenient time.”
She laughed at the irony. “You’ve got that right.”
Sitting back in his seat, he turned to gaze out the window. “I used to love snow. Where I grew up, we used to get snowed in every year.”
“Goodness. How did you cope with that?”
“We used to sled everywhere. Or ski. It wasn’t so bad.”
She raised her eyebrows. “It actually sounds like fun.”
“It was, mostly.”
“So… are you heading to Scotland?”
“Not quite. I’m heading north though.”
“Is your family waiting for you?”
A smile played upon his full lips. “Some of my family, yes. My… my dad mainly.”
“Oh, how lovely.”
He nodded. “Yes. Christmas is a time for families, don’t you think?”
“Absolutely. That’s why I’m so upset that I may not get home to my girls.”
“How old are they… your girls?”
“One is two and one is six months.” She smiled fondly as she thought about them.
“Oh, wow. Such cute ages. Are they both as beautiful as their mom?” She felt the blush rise in her cheeks and just knew that she was as red as beetroot. He pulled his lips in briefly. “Sorry, that was a little inappropriate, I suppose.”
“No, it’s fine. And they are very beautiful… but I don’t know that they get it from me. Their father is—he’s—” Her heart fluttered as Greg popped into her mind, shirtless in all his tattooed glory. Damp from a shower, droplets of water glistening on his smooth skin. She swallowed. “They have their father’s eyes,” she managed to say.
He smiled and nodded knowingly. “That’s sweet.”
The two newly not-so-acquainted companions sat in silence for a few minutes until the guard returned. “Here you go, madam.” He handed her a blanket and she pulled it around herself. “Would you like a hot chocolate? Or tea… coffee, perhaps?” he asked.
“Hot chocolate would be good, thank you.”
“Okay, I won’t be long, madam.” He turned and dashed off once again.
Mallory scrunched her brow. “How rude.” She watched as the man disappeared down the train. “He didn’t even offer you anything.”
“Oh, don’t worry. I had one earlier. I think I was sitting nearer to the buffet car when they came around the first time. Maybe he hadn’t realised you were down here by yourself when he came around then. Poor guy looks flustered.”
She suddenly felt guilty for thinking so badly of the man. “Yes… maybe so. I feel terrible now. He’s missing his family too.”
The handsome stranger leaned forward and tilted his head to one side. “Hey, don’t beat yourself up. This is a stressful situation to be in. I’m sure he’ll be fine. An engineer will come, and we’ll be moving again before you know it.”
Mallory knotted her fingers. “I hope so. I’ll be glad to get home.”
“I bet you will.”
“Yes… Things have been a little strange lately.”
“How come?”
She gave a nervous laugh. “Oh, good grief. You don’t want to hear all my woes.”
He glanced around the carriage. “I don’t seem to have any other pressing engagements right now.”
She sniggered. “Fair point.”
“And as for me being a stranger… sometimes it’s good to get things off your chest to someone you’re likely never to meet again.”
She pursed her lips for a moment. “Also a good point. But you seem to forget that we’ve bumped into each other in bizarre circumstances several times over the last week.”
He smirked.
“Okay, now you’re making a fair point. But… well, let’s face it, it doesn’t look like we’re going anywhere fast, does it? And unless you want to play I spy, I think we may as well talk.”
She laughed at the suggestion of I spy. “Oh, yes, can you imagine? I spy with my little eye something beginning with s… snow… snowflake… snowdrift.”
His responding chuckle was deep and genuine. “Exactly my point. So… you were saying?”
“Oh… it’s such a long story. My… my husband and I met under odd circumstances a few years ago now.”
“Hmmm… it seems you like to meet people under odd circumstances.”
“Yes, I do seem to make a habit of that.”
He smiled again and gestured for her to continue. “Go on… I’m intrigued.”
“I met someone… years ago… in Leeds. We fell in love. He was… he was everything to me. We were going to move to Scotland to start a new life together, but”—she wasn’t sure she really wanted to open up like this to a perfect stranger, but the words rushed out—“on the day we moved, he was snatched from me… A car accident. It was so sudden, such a shock. I don’t think I ever fully recovered.”
She gazed out at the snow again as the pain of losing Sam stabbed at her heart and she swallowed the rising lump in her throat. “Greg… my husband… was working in the village I moved to. We… we became friends first. He’d lost someone he loved too, and so we shared a common grief, I suppose.” She glanced up at her companion, who was listening intently. “Please tell me if I’m boring you senseless.”
He shook his head. “Not at all. Please… go on.”
She blew out a long sigh and dabbed at her eyes. “He fell for me quickly… Greg, I mean. But… I was racked with guilt at the feelings I’d started to have for him. I’d only just lost Sam. It felt so… wrong. Far too soon. It took me almost losing Greg too in a boating accident to realise I actually did love him.”
“Fear can do strange things to you,” the stranger interjected thoughtfully.
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