Braided Strings
Page 10
“Hi, Mrs. Wyatt. How was your vacation?” Delaney made small talk with her mother, but kept his arms around Cara when she tried to move out of his lap.
“It was wonderful, but I’m ready to be home. Where’s my baby girl?”
Sutton, who had heard the door and wandered out for visitors, squealed and ran to her grandmother. Cara took the opportunity to move out of Delaney’s lap, feeling more than slightly awkward at being caught with him the way she was.
“Let’s go have a snack, sweetheart,” her mother said, walking out of the room with the child. Her mother appeared to be giving them some privacy, but her father was not about to do the same. He moved farther into the room and took a seat in the chair across from them.
“Delaney,’ he said gruffly. “How’s it going?”
Cara thought her father sounded like a clichéd country man, and she knew that he was putting on a front, playing into the image of intimidating and overprotective that he had in his mind. She had convinced her father not to say anything to Delaney during her pregnancy, but she was positive that it was not going to be the case now.
Delaney seemed to understand that as well, as he shifted to face him straight on.
“I’ve been well, Mr. Wyatt. And yourself?” Cara had to give him credit for being so calm when he had to know what was coming. She, on the other hand, was more than a little bit nervous.
“Can’t complain,” her father responded. “You don’t have to call me Mr. Wyatt, Delaney. I’ve told you that before. You can call me Steve.”
“All right, Steve. I assume you want to have a talk with me?”
“I’d say you assume right. Cara, honey, why don’t you go talk with your mother?”
“Daddy, remember what I told you. I think that whatever you have to say to Del, I should probably be here.”
“Suit yourself, but don’t you interrupt me. Delaney, I know what Cara did was wrong. She should have told you about Sutton before she was even born, but that doesn’t make what you did right, either. I’m not stupid enough to believe that you kids are going to listen when we preach abstinence, but you should have been more careful. I also think that you had piss poor timing. I could see how you two felt about each other from the beginning, and for you to wait until she was about to leave wasn’t right.”
“I know, sir,” Delaney said. “Clearly, I was blind where Cara was concerned. I didn’t think she could ever feel the same about me as I did her.”
“Well, I can see that you two have worked that all out now. Cara’s been preaching to me for the last couple years that I need to let her handle the situation, so I’m not going to ask you about intentions or any of that. Just know that I expect you two to do the right thing. That doesn’t necessarily mean get married, though obviously a father would prefer that for his only daughter. Just make sure you know what you’re doing, because it’s not just the two of you that are going to be affected by your decisions.”
Before Cara or Delaney had a chance to comment, he got up and walked out of the room, leaving them to stew over what he had just told them.
Chapter 23
When Saturday morning came, Cara woke up next to Delaney, feeling her anxiety rising. She was questioning her decision, but only how rashly she had made it. She loved Delaney, there was no question in her heart. Her mind was a different story. She was trying to rationalize her decision and their relationship. And for her, that often meant dwelling on the negative, as Delaney had already pointed out. She pushed the thoughts aside when she felt Delaney waking, and rolled over to face him.
“Good morning, beautiful,” he said as he kissed her forehead.
“Good morning. I wondered how late you were going to sleep. Sutton and I have to leave soon.”
Delaney moaned a little, rubbing a hand over his face, still not entirely awake. “All right, yeah, I’ll help you get the car packed up.”
He rolled out of bed and went to the side of the crib, and Cara could see the agony in his face as he looked at his daughter. He really was in love with her already, and trying everything in his power to keep her in the front of his mind and life. Would that change if they weren’t together, if they attempted but ultimately determined they weren’t right for each other? Would Delaney continue to put his daughter on a pedestal? Cara had to believe so, because she wouldn’t be able to handle it if Sutton lost her connection with her father because of her. And she wasn’t convinced that Delaney was in “forever love” with her. That kind of love was reserved for a special person, and she just wasn’t at a point that she believed it could be her. Though she had been wrong before; case in point, keeping her pregnancy a secret from Delaney.
His response had proven to be the exact opposite of her fears. Because of that, and knowing that it would put Delaney at her side, she was going to take the risk. She’d always been told that it’s better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. Delaney would never intentionally hurt her, and he’d always been her rock in difficult situations. She prayed the same would be true for their future, because she was on the verge of taking a risk that could break her more than she already was. She just had to think of the best way to tell him.
***
By noon, Cara was climbing behind the wheel of her car while Delaney shut the door behind her. The window rolled down, he leaned in to kiss her, and took what would have been an innocent goodbye to another level. He held her face again, and gently rested his mouth against hers. When he felt her relax, he stroked his tongue out over her upper lip, and she felt his fingers tense against her skin. They both fell into the kiss, and Cara again felt the familiar white haze of desire cloud her vision.
When he broke the contact, Cara’s eyes fluttered open and she blinked in attempt to clear her sight. He spoke low to her, his voice deepened so she knew that he was as aroused as she.
“I’ll see you in a week. I’ll try to get out of work early on Friday, so I can make it down sooner.”
“You don’t have to rush. I’ll see you when I see you, okay? If you can’t get the time off, don’t stress. It’s only two weeks.”
“I’ve already got the time off. I’ll see you this weekend.” He leaned in and rested his forehead against hers. “I love you,” he said in a husky whisper.
Cara didn’t respond. She planned to tell him her decision about their relationship the following weekend. She wanted to take the time away from him to think through her thoughts, make sure that she could really put herself at ease with being in a relationship; especially one as important as theirs.
***
That evening when Cara reached her apartment in Chicago, she was mentally drained. Between Sutton’s anger at being strapped in her car seat for the length of the drive, and her own emotional angst, she felt like she might sleep the instant her head hit the pillow.
But as drained as it was, her mind wouldn’t stop racing. She realized that Delaney would never understand her fears if they continued with things exactly as they were. She had never told him, or anyone, of the years before her mother had met her dad. Most believed that Steve Wyatt was her biological father, and she herself even considered him to be that more than the man who had aided in her conception, despite his hard and micromanaging ways.
Her mother had been married at seventeen, and given birth less than six months later. Dawson Leigh had been a selfish, spoiled man. Even in the beginning, her mother admitted to knowing something was off with the relationship, but had attributed it to rebellion and young love. She’d never dreamed that it would be yet another source of her daughter’s demons.
Cara hadn’t known what was happening through most of her childhood. At the time, she had been the apple of her daddy’s eye. He would come home from work, and they would all have a quiet family dinner. Then he would put on their song, and they would dance around the living room to George Strait’s “Baby Blue.” It was their nightly routine for as long as she could remember.
Then she started noticing that her mother was cr
ying more often. A lot of times the tears came when she would receive some call while Dawson was at work. Then he would come home, and dinner would be put on hold while they screamed at each other. Cara had only just turned five, but she could remember the feeling of panic every time she saw the fear on her mother’s face.
Then they’d moved into a new house, and things seemed to go back to normal—for a short time—until her father had decided they needed a roommate. A woman at work had been having a hard time with her husband, so she and her child needed a place to stay for a while. Dawson had offered them the two upstairs bedrooms of the house. Not long after, Dawson had become a point of fear for her mother, not just emotional pain. The fights became more frequent, with Cara huddling in the bathroom with her younger brother.
Cara had learned years later, after Dawson’s fatal car accident, that the fighting had been a result of his relentless cheating, and that the woman he’d invited to live in their house was one of his many lovers.
As Cara shuffled through her apartment, reliving the confusion of her past, she tried to determine the best way to explain the effects to Delaney. The truth was she was not entirely sure that she understood herself.
She’d learned to distrust at an early age, and also learned what it was to see a woman in total heartache. Her grandparents had tried to accuse her mother of being a woman scorned, of fabricating lies about their dead son after the truth had been revealed. Cara knew, looking back, that everything her mother had eventually told her was the truth, even remembering catching Dawson in the act a time or two. Obviously she had been too young to understand at the time. But over the years, she had determined that was the source of her paranoia.
Cara’s mother was a beautiful woman with a large heart. She didn’t understand why anyone would feel that her mother wasn’t enough. But clearly, Dawson hadn’t been satisfied. Who was to say that Cara would be enough? Would she pour her heart into a relationship that would destroy her self-esteem, believing that it was her own shortcomings that pushed her partner to the arms of another? She didn’t know if she could handle it if Delaney proved to be no different than the man who provided half of her genetics.
On another level, did the apple fall far from the tree? Could she be faithful in a long term relationship, or would she end up like her father, always searching for something new and exciting?
Cara rubbed her eyes and decided that was enough introspection for a day. She sent a text to Delaney that they were home safe and put herself to bed. Sutton was sleeping soundly, and she knew that it would not last long enough for her to feel refreshed the way it was.
Chapter 24
Sutton slept restlessly that night, so when morning came Cara was feeling worse than she had when she went to bed. She had planned to spend Sunday organizing and packing, but that wasn’t going to happen without plenty of caffeine. She also needed the guidance of a female that wasn’t attached to her past. Keeley was known for being unbiased and brutally honest; two things Cara wished she could be herself. By 10 a.m., Keeley was sitting in the living room playing with Sutton, silent so Cara could relay the events of the past week.
“So what’s the problem, aside from you’re moving away from me?” Keeley, like so many others in Cara’s life, didn’t take her eyes off Sutton when she spoke. Cara wondered if the woman had heard a word she said.
“Don’t you think it’s a little too soon for me to leave everything? I mean, I only told him two weeks ago that Sutton was his.”
“Sure, but it sounds like this guy has been in love with you almost longer than you’ve been in love with him. I don’t see where you could go wrong.”
“He doesn’t know everything about me, though. What if I’m too damaged for a happily ever after?”
“That’s bullshit, Cara, and you know it. Everyone deserves their forever love, and Delaney is yours. He’s not that dipshit dude that cheated on your mom, and you’re not him, either.”
Cara hadn’t stopped with the events of the last week in her explanation, but had also used Keeley as a sounding board for the fears she’d dwelled on the day before. It felt good to finally say the words out loud, but she wasn’t sure she would be able to get them out the same when it came time to reveal her fears to Delaney.
“How do you know, Keeley? I’m not even sure. I’ve only ever been in one other relationship, and that barely lasted after I met Delaney. And that relationship never had near what Delaney and I had. What if that’s because I’m not meant to be that girl?”
“What if it’s because you weren’t meant to test the waters? What if you’d already found your other half, and it was just a matter of waiting for the right time? You’re smart, Cara, mind and heart. Sometimes, though, your mind is just a little too loud for you to listen to your heart. You need to learn to go with what you are feeling once in a while, and stop questioning.”
“I hope you’re right. Now, are you going to help me pack this place up, or are you just going to sit there all day?”
“I’ll help on one condition,” Keeley said, a serious look on her face.
“And what’s that?”
Keeley’s serious face broke into a naughty grin then, and she wiggled her eyebrows up and down rapidly. “You have to tell me all the steamy details. You kind of skimped in that department.”
Cara and Keeley both laughed, and Cara spent the rest of the day in girl mode, talking sex and fantasies with the best girlfriend she’d ever had.
***
That night when Delaney called, Cara was feeling much lighter than she had in days. She had laughed like she only could with Keeley, and realized she was going to miss her desperately. But Keeley had decided that she was also going to take some time off to help her move, which made the transition process a little more bearable, so when she answered the phone, her voice was brighter than normal, and she even added a little flirtation.
“Hey, handsome, how’s your Sunday?”
“Lonely, but relaxing anyway. Sounds like you had a good day?”
“I did. A lot of packing, but Keeley helped a lot.”
“That’s good. I’ll meet her next week, I assume?”
“Yes. And she’s going to take the weekend off and help us move back. Do you mind if she stays with us? She said she’ll get a hotel, but I really don’t want her to do that if we can help it.”
“Yeah, that’s no problem. I’ll just have to forgo the naked dance party while she’s here.”
Cara laughed, but wondered if Delaney really danced around naked in his apartment. It wouldn’t surprise her, he’d done stranger things.
“So, sweetness, what are your plans for the week? All work and no play?” His voice slid into the easy flirtation that she knew so well, and she almost sighed at the tone.
“Well, it sounds like I might be moving in with a guy soon, so I’m thinking I might sow some oats before I get tied down.”
“Hmm, don’t use up all your energy. I think you’ll need it this weekend.”
“Promises, promises.”
“Cricket, you have no idea,” he said wickedly.
“And a monster has been created. Will I ever be able to keep up with you?”
“Oh, we’ll work you up to it. Now, what are you wearing?”
“You really are terrible. If you must know, I’m wearing a pair of sweatpants and tee from high school. Satisfy your dirty imagination?”
“I can work with it. I suppose I should let you get to bed, though, before I talk you into something that will keep us both up.”
“Good idea. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Have a good night.”
“You, too. Love you.”
The conversation seemed to flow, and Cara was still as comfortable as she’d been all day. It was almost like a weight had been lifted. She was going to try and follow Keeley’s advice, and not listen to her more destructive thoughts. She went to bed feeling like she’d gotten off to a good start, but she knew that it would take quite a while before she could ignore them comple
tely.
Chapter 25
The week seemed to pass quicker than normal. Cara and Delaney had gone back to their high school routine of talking or texting every day, and she continued to fight the demons that plagued her mind about their relationship. That part was getting easier, though. When Friday came, she was still feeling light and more than a little excited about seeing him. He had decided that driving was best, and was planning to bring a truck so he could bring a trailer to make the move easier.
Throughout the week, Cara had put in her notice at work and notified her daycare that Sutton would no longer be attending. When she had spoken with her landlord, he had been more than accommodating in allowing her to end her monthly contract with him. She planned to be out by mid-month, so that gave him a couple of weeks to contact someone on his waiting list and fill the space quickly.
Everything seemed so easy she couldn’t help but feel like she was doing the right thing. It made it easier to keep the negative thoughts at bay, even feeling more like the girl she had been when it was just her and Delaney. That girl overshadowed the neurotic, nerdy Cara. She was daring, carefree, and flirtatious. Because Cara enjoyed remembering what that felt like, she let herself fall into that role. Being a mother was no reason to stop enjoying life.
When Delaney called to tell her that he was less than an hour out, it was late enough in the evening that Sutton was already down for the night. Despite the majority of her things being packed, Cara decided to put on an outfit that showed her age more than her role. In a blue jean miniskirt and fitted tank, she flitted around her apartment cleaning things that didn’t need to be cleaned, pushing to keep her nerves away. While she was mentally chastising herself for losing it, the intercom buzzed. Rushing over entirely too quickly, she hit the button to ask who was there.