The Bad Guys Chronicles Box Set

by Eric Ugland

  “If you want the top floor, that seems to be the biggest. It’s the whole floor.”

  “You won’t take that for yourself?”

  “I have too much space as it is. Better someone else put it to use. Besides, don’t you have lots of kids?”

  “And parents.”

  “See? Also, the bakery. Do you have any ideas?”

  “You want to open it up again?”

  “Seems a waste to leave it closed. I guess you could also expand into it. Take over their kitchen or something. There’s also a carriage house in the back, with stables. Should I get horses or something?”

  “There’s a lot of space here, Clyde. You might want to take some time filling it. I know a few bakers — I can see if they’re interested in a new larger space. I’m not sure about expanding, I don’t even know why we’ve been so busy lately, so I can’t imagine it lasting forever. I’m just riding it out best I can.”

  “Being cautious has its place. Take the top floor. I might put a door on the fifth floor to the roof of this building. That way, we can go between buildings without having to go onto the street.”

  Titus gave me another hug. “Thank you, Clyde. You are a good man.”

  “Hey, none of that.”

  He smiled, and walked into the kitchen.

  I took a moment to just think. I did have a lot of space. I wasn’t super-keen on leaving Hellion in my training room, but I supposed that I could just make a different room a spot for training and let Hellion have his own apartment. Or, I could see if Nadya wanted to set up a lab or something in one of the apartments, or out in the carriage house.

  Maybe Matthew and his family would like to move in.

  And that thought stumped me. Why was I trying to fill the building with people I knew? It certainly didn’t make much in the way of economic sense. I guess it was an attempt to recreate a family. Replicate something I’d lost. Lost prior to even coming to Vuldranni, actually. And maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing. I decided I’d speak to Matthew about it.

  I went back to my meal. Finally.

  Chapter 88

  Which was gone. Because Matthew had eaten it. He was sitting at my reserved stool, talking quietly with Titus and Nadya.

  “Nice meeting of the minds,” I said, strolling up and pushing my way into the group.

  “You finally decided to show up,” Matthew said. “Took you long enough.”

  “Long enough? I was back talking to that fool,” I pointed to Titus.

  “Speaking of that fool—” Matthew started.

  “—This fool is getting back to work,” Titus interrupted. He made it two steps before someone grabbed him and asked for another drink..

  “The fool told us you have a new building,” Matthew said.

  “Fools talk a lot,” I replied.

  “True though, right?” Nadya asked.

  “Yeah.”

  “The place next door?” Matthew asked.

  “Okay, clearly you know what it is and where it is. Just ask me what you want to know without all this small talk crap, okay?”

  “This isn’t small talk,” Matthew said, “small talk is talking about the weather, or the local monsters sighted. These are clarifying questions and beating around the bush.”

  “Knock that crap off too, then.”

  “Have you rented out all the apartments there?” Matthew asked.

  “One for me, too, if you have one,” Nadya said.

  “You want to live there?” I asked.

  “Maybe,” Nadya said.

  “I want to live there,” Matthew butted in. “I asked first.”

  “Easy there,” I said. “Only one apartment is gone. And why do you both want an apartment here?”

  “Is this the official application process?”

  “There is no process. It’s just me saying yes or no. And I’m curious.”

  “City seems dangerous all of a sudden,” Matthew said. “The wife and I would like a different place. Maybe closer to work. Easier to secure.”

  “And you think this building is it? Look around this place. It’s full of people.”

  “Exactly,” he said. “There are people here. It’s a busy place. You’re not far from a guard station at the wall. And I know Titus. I know that he’s going to make sure his family is safe.”

  “Fine. Sure, whatever. How many apartments do you need?”

  “Just my family.”

  “Take two. Connect them together or something. You can have the fourth floor.”

  “Just like that?” he asked. “What’s the rent?”

  “I don’t know, whatever you think is fair.”

  “Usually the landlord makes the rent, decides what’s fair.”

  “You want the place?”

  “Yes, but—”

  “Then take it. You can trade training me for rent.”

  “Deal,” Matthew said, a huge smile on his face.

  “Does that mean I get a place too?” Nadya asked.

  “Are you planning on using it as a lab?” I asked.

  “Maybe.”

  “You better put Hellion in there.”

  “So is that a yes?”

  “Fine. Fifth floor. You only get one apartment. I’m going to put a door to the roof of this building. I think.”

  “And do I get to set my own rent?”

  “I’m assuming you need to fix up the place to make it a lab?”

  “I will, but I’ll cover that cost.”

  “If you want the place, you need to cover the cost of upgrading the whole place.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “What upgrades are you thinking of?”

  “Running water, hot and cold, plus secure doors so your experiments don’t wander out. And Matthew, do you have a Legion buddy or two who might be willing to act as security in exchange for an apartment?”

  “Let me look next door,” he said. “I can see what you have available.”

  “You’re on four, Nadya is on five, Titus is on six. The roof would be nice to make into a garden or something. And probably the water tower will need to be there. The bakery is in the basement and first floor. So, that leaves the second and third floors open. Plus the carriage house. And the stables.”

  “Can I have the stables?” Nadya asked.

  “Not until I know you aren’t going to breed monsters there,” I said.

  “I can neither confirm or deny that’s my intent.”

  “I bet. So no for now.”

  “Do you have all of these apartments full?”

  “Is there really something bad happening in the city regarding kids?”

  Matthew’s happy face disappeared. He nodded gravely.

  “And no one knows what it is?” I asked.

  He shook his head. “Bit of a mystery at the moment.”

  “Then yeah. You have people you care about with kids, get them in the third floor. Second floor save for security types. And then think of what we can do to these two buildings to make them safe. Nadya will pay for it.”

  “You think I’m just going to do anything you ask for this lab?” Nadya asked.

  “Yes.”

  She opened and closed her mouth a time or two. “I’m not that desperate.”

  “Yes you are,” I said. “And aren’t you loaded?”

  “Depends on who you ask.”

  “Matthew, is Nadya loaded?”

  “Very much so,” Matthew said.

  “There we go,” I said. “Now, can someone please get me a second dinner?”

  “Glutton.”

  Chapter 89

  Nadya left shortly after my second attempt at dinner arrived. So it was just me and Matthew, and the hundred-plus people inside the tavern. Very intimate.

  “Got something we should probably discuss,” I said.

  “Is this in relation to a certain party?” he asked.

  “Maybe.”

  “You think, perhaps, we should go somewhere and talk without friends overhearing?”

  I looked
around and realized that even though it appeared no one was paying us any attention, there was no way people weren’t eavesdropping. Most likely in an unintentional way, but there could also be some people around actively trying to hear what I might say.

  “Let’s go check out your new place,” I said.

  He hopped off his barstool and gestured for me to lead the way, which I did.

  Matthew remained silent all the way until we got to the doors to his apartment. As I fumbled for the right key, he cleared his throat.

  “I really appreciate you doing this,” he said. “You are being very generous.”

  “Better than letting it sit empty,” I replied, finally finding the right key and unlocking the place.

  “You’re not that daft, kid,” Matthew said. “I recognize the gold you’re giving up here.”

  “Yeah, well. Let’s not dwell on that.” I opened the door for him.

  He shrugged, and walked past me into his new apartment. It was dark inside, with the only light coming from the window, but I could still see his smile.

  “Need some glowstones,” he said.

  “Yeah, I still don’t know where to get those.”

  “Great thief like you? I’m sure you’ll snag a few somewhere.”

  “What, just mosey down to the Bright and take a bunch of lights from some rich dipshit?”

  “Sounds like a bright idea.”

  “Get out.”

  “I thought you needed to talk to me about something.”

  “Valamir is going to kill his brother.”

  “That’s not news.”

  “Okay, but he’s got a plan and everything.”

  “Something you overheard?”

  “Yes.”

  “It’s old news. Valamir has been planning fratricide for years. All over a girl.”

  “If it’s just old news, which, you know, it might be—”

  “Lovely kitchen here,” Matthew said, wandering around his apartment with a keen eye.

  “Yeah, great, but ol’ Lord FancyPants plans to give Valamir a bunch of money for something, and it’s in relation to Valamir killing his brother.”

  That finally got the man’s attention. He stopped inspecting his new digs, walked right past me, and shut the door. Then he came back over to me, standing uncomfortably close.

  “This was at the ball?” he asked. “And it was actually Valamir?”

  “Valamir and FancyPants.”

  “You can say his name here.”

  “FancyPants is a better name than Tollendahl.”

  “True, but virtually all the nobles could be called FancyPants. There’s only one asshole worthy of the name Tollendahl. And that’s Lord Tollendahl himself.”

  “Tollendahl was talking to Valamir, in the flesh. The two of them in the same room, right below me.”

  “Below?”

  “I was hiding above them and trying to get inside a secret room.”

  “And they didn’t find you? It wasn’t just an attempt at sowing misinformation?”

  “Considering that Tollendahl met with a member of the Carchedon royal family directly after meeting with Valamir? I doubt it. Also, do you know anything about Blood Debts?”

  “No. Sounds bad.”

  “Might be, but I don’t know either.”

  “But back to the important part.”

  “Fancypants.”

  “Tollendahl is actually giving Valamir funds?”

  “Substantial. And I think Tollendahl is getting his money from Carchedon.”

  “You’re certainly slinging around traitorous accusations like they’re on fire tonight.”

  “Not my fault the aristocrats are a bunch of dickheads.”

  “No, you’re right there.”

  “Okay, so what do we do?”

  “About?”

  “Valamir.”

  “You feel strongly about saving the emperor?”

  “He seems like an okay cat. Fair.”

  “He is fine. Not good, not bad. Fine. I imagine, at least for the general populace, for you and me, Valamir will be about the same.”

  “You have no overwhelming allegiance to the Emperor?”

  “Because of my time in the Legion? We swear to the Empire, not the Emperor. You want idiots who dedicate their lives to another man, look to the Thingmen.”

  “Who are they?”

  “The emperor’s private army. I’m more concerned about the connection between Tollendahl and Carchedon.”

  “And the White Hand.”

  “I’m sorry?”

  “Tollendahl has connections to the White Hand.”

  “How do those vile slavers factor to Carchedon?”

  “As far as I can tell, Tollendahl gets his money from dealings with Carchedon, and that business is intrinsically linked to the White Hand. I saw Tollendahl pass a list of names to Valamir, of White Hand members he wanted to have freed.”

  “This could certainly be bad for the country. If Carchedon is funding Valamir stealing the throne, they’d probably want something for that.”

  “They mentioned something about the, uh, hodor-spur—”

  “Hospodar.”

  “Right, about that position changing hands recently.”

  Matthew nodded. “The son killed his father. Accused the father of treason, colluding with Glaton.”

  “But isn’t he?”

  “Likely for different reasons. I had heard the emperor planned to wed his daughter to the Hospodar’s son. The current Hospodar. A means of achieving a form of peace between the lands. Perhaps even joining the two empires. It strikes me that the Hospodar prefers keeping his country at war with Glaton. And, likely, Valamir does as well.”

  “But why?”

  “Ah, youth. There is money to be made in war. Lands to be gained. Titles to be lost and titles to be created. War is a fantastic opportunity for those with money and power.”

  “So we do nothing?”

  “Just as the rich look to make sure they are getting the most out of every situation, so must we. What do we gain by keeping the Emperor in power?”

  “Messes with the White Hand. Keeps them from rising in power.”

  “Good. What else?”

  “Keeps the status quo. Maybe keeps the Legion from going to war?”

  “And is that good or bad?”

  “Probably neither. Might be kind of good if they go because then there’s fewer lawmen around?”

  “And war means more fools signing up. More fools signing up means more money going through the city. Everyone spending their signing bonus before they leave for battle. And it could mean treasure coming back from the front. Looting rights go to the conquering army.”

  “But why should I care about any of that stuff?”

  “Good question. All depends on what you want to do with your life. Do you know?”

  “That’s a really big question.”

  “No reason for it to be easy.”

  “Is Valamir an asshole?”

  “As far as I know.”

  “So messing up his plans is a good thing?”

  “It might be. Might also be that you can’t mess up his plans. On the other hand, you could sell the information. There are always those interested in knowing secrets.”

  “Okay, as my mentor, I’m asking you: what should I do? What would you do?”

  He leaned back against the wall and looked up at the ceiling.

  I stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, then looked around at the furniture in the place. Basic stuff. Nice enough, I supposed, but nothing I would have gone out of my way to choose.

  Matthew pushed past me and got over to the window. There was just the barest hint of sun remaining in the sky.

  “I need to get home,” Matthew said. “Get to packing.”

  “But—”

  “Not done, kid. If this were me, if I were you, or however you want to imagine it, I’d go and take a look. Try and get something definite in terms of proof, and then I’d sell that. B
ut I don’t think you’re the selling type. You seem to have other motives besides gold. So you probably want to see if you can find out a way to throw a gremlin into the mix.”

  “An actual gremlin?”

  He laughed. “Though I would pay to see that happen, I was being metaphorical.”

  He stopped at the door, opened it, and pulled the keys out. “I’ll be here tomorrow morning—”

  “Comes with free meals.”

  “I’m sorry?”

  “Free meals at the Heavy Purse. Maybe at the bakery too.”

  “For me?”

  “And the family.”

  He shook his head, not bothering to hide his smile. “Better watch out, or people’ll start to think you’re one of the good guys.”

  Chapter 90

  I went home. You know, next door. I stopped briefly on the third floor to take a peek inside. Hellion, was in the same spot by my reading nook that he’d crawled into when we dropped him off.

  “You doing okay, Hellion?” I asked.

  I took the lack of answer as an affirmative.

  “I’ll be upstairs if you need me,” I said. Then shut the door, at which point I stopped and realized that I’d just tried to make a monster feel better by letting him know where I’d be. My life had gotten strange.

  Upstairs, it was quiet and calm, and I took the time to take my clothes off, chuck them in a laundry pile in the corner, and then take a long hot shower. I stood there, letting the nearly scalding water power against my body, doing my very best to think through all the things I needed to do. All the things I could do. And all the things that were possible. It was going to be a long shower.

  I knew that the White Hand was a horrible group, and I hated them. According to Etta, they made their money by kidnapping innocent folk and selling them into slavery, and now it seemed like they did it at the hands of the Carchedonians. Which kind of made me hate the Carchedonians as well. And though my knowledge of the politics here was basically nil, it made sense to reason that Carchedon had built its empire on the back of slavery. Nothing was going to make me feel better about them. And having thought through all of that, it made the most sense to me, at least, to oppose the White Hand and Carchedon as best I could.

  Getting out of the shower, I dried off and walked out into the main area of the studio apartment. I laid down in my bed, closed my eyes, and drifted off into sleep almost immediately.