The Bad Guys Chronicles Box Set

by Eric Ugland

  "That's it?" Penelope said.

  "Sure."

  "You don't want to know what I can do?"

  "I trust that you’ll tell me about any unique skillsets you bring to the party. Or, you know, at least you will when the time is right."

  "Okay then," she said. "I'm glad we had this talk."

  Congratulations! You’ve completed a QUEST!

  Rebuild the Guild VI - Penelope Calpernus.

  You have allowed Penelope to join your guild, so she will join your guild.

  Correction, that’s the best quest ever.

  She waited there a moment longer. Then she nodded at me one more time for good measure, and walked away.

  I tucked into my meal, ravenously hungry all of a sudden. Likely I'd been hungry the whole time and hadn't realized because it'd been a hectic day.

  I made my way through lots of meat, a heaping pile of potatoes, this time boiled and dripping in butter, and some green vegetables that I couldn't place. Something native to Vuldranni that had a distinctive spicy crunch to it. Like always, the food was good. Heavy, but good.

  Someone sat down next to me, and snatched a potato off my plate.

  I turned to see Nadya pop the potato in her mouth with a mischievous smile.

  "Good day?" I asked.

  She shrugged. "It's odd to be working there without you," she said.

  "I'm trying to get back there. Just—“

  "Things to do."

  "Yup."

  She signaled to Penelope, and Penelope nodded.

  “So you’ve asked everyone else. Are you going to ask me?" Nadya said.

  "You want to come play?"

  She smiled.” I seem to recall I get something. Right?"

  “You could just join.”

  “But where’s the fun in that?”

  “So what’s the thing you want?”

  "I want you to come with me to a thing."

  "A thing?"

  "It's called The Monster's Ball. It's, well, it's somewhere between a symposium and a party. The Enderun is putting it on. Do you know what that is?"

  “The Imperial Academy.”

  “Yep,” she said. “Sorry, just sometimes it’s surprising what you do and don’t know. Your town, you know.”

  “My hamlet. Yeah. Denmark is, uh, hard to figure out.”

  “Anyway, The Enderun is throwing it. There will be adventurers there, and some will give speeches about what they've seen and experienced out in the wilds. They bring stuffed examples back. Or live ones. At least, that's what I've been told."

  "Is there, I mean, I don’t want to sound weird about this, but why do you want—“

  "You may forget because you only see me in this world, but in my other life, I’m the daughter of a royal family, which means there are plenty of suitors lined up to escort me to balls and the like. But I don’t like many of those suitors. Or any of them, really. The man who is pressuring my father to take me to The Monster’s Ball right now is particularly loathsome, who is well-known for his roaming hands. I’d rather not—“

  Rebuild the Guild VII - Nadya Glaton

  Nadya wishes for you to accompany her to the Monster’s Ball.

  Reward for success: Nadya will join the guild

  Penalty for failure (or refusal): potentially the death of the guild

  Yes/No

  “Say no more. I would be happy to escort you to The Monster’s Ball. And you can choose whether to join the guild or not. It doesn’t have to be tied to this.”

  I accepted the quest — it was almost as easy as Penelope’s. I mean, it was almost as easy as the quest Penelope gave me. You know….I’m just going to stop.

  “Thank you,” she said with a demure and coy smile.

  “I don’t want to be indelicate, but talking about the royal family reminded me that I’ve been a bit of an ass and haven’t asked you this: Are you, I mean, are you okay about the Emperor?”

  Nadya seemed, well, not taken aback by the question, but a bit surprised. She looked away from me, out at the rest of the bar.

  “Sorry,” I said. “I just—“

  “It’s fine. I didn’t really, I haven’t taken the time to think about it. About him.”

  “Did you know him?”

  “Of course. He was like my uncle. He called himself my uncle.”

  “But he wasn’t.”

  “My father’s father was the Emperor’s actual uncle. Which makes me something along the lines of his second cousin. But it’s all a bit muddled. So yes. I have spent more time with him than I let on to you before. I lied to you. A few times. Because it always felt strange to be a Glaton and I didn’t, I just didn’t want you to think I was a princess.”

  “Are you?”

  “Technically I’m in line to be a duchess. So, not a princess.”

  “Well there you go.”

  “I miss him. Or who he was. He spent a lot of time away at war and I don’t really feel he was the same when he came back. He just didn’t seem to be as, well, fun. Or happy.”

  “I’m sorry for your loss.”

  “Thank you.”

  “So, you want to tell me where I can get these tickets?"

  She smiled at me.

  “I already have the tickets, Clyde,” she said.

  “Then I will do my best to find nice-looking clothes.”

  “Maybe from this style period?” She asked with another smile.

  “Hey! My last outfit wasn’t that out of fashion.”

  “My grandfather would’ve found it old-fashioned.”

  “Sure. I’ll get new threads. When is this ball?”

  “Tomorrow.”

  “Not exactly a lot of notice,” I said.

  She shrugged. “I wasn’t sure what you were up to, and it didn’t seem like I had a way to make sure you’d go with me. Until now.”

  “Fair enough,” I said. “Hey, maybe you can help with something I need to do for Matthew. It’s about Valamir.”

  “You need to have a chat with Valamir?”

  “I don’t know if I’m supposed to be chatting with him, per se.”

  “What is it you're up to?” she asked.

  "I think, I mean, I think Matthew wants to know what Valamir's angle is. How Valamir intends to take over or what. So he wants me to get in there and take a peek at things, see if I can find proof of what Valamir did so we can, I don't know, bring him down."

  "Ah. So more like investigating."

  "Better way to put it. Please say you're about to tell me you know a way in?"

  "I mean, there are a few ways in. The easiest is just going with me, but that would limit your ability to do much beyond be my guest."

  "Yeah. Probably don't want to go that route."

  "I doubt he's at the Imperial estate," she said. “He’s maintained his own residence for the last, like, ever. I've only been there when he invited my family for meals. Any holidays would be at the palace, you know?"

  "I mean, I can guess what that's like, but knowing? Nope. My family and holidays, we didn't exactly do much celebrating."

  "Where is your family?"

  "Gone," I said. "And I don't feel bad about it. But can we talk Valamir. Who is he? How do you feel about him?”

  “He’s a man who’s consumed by work. And, I guess, narcissism? The family story is that he and his brother loved the same woman, and she chose the brother. So Valamir chose himself.”

  “So you don’t know him that well?”

  “No,” she replied, but she also looked away. It wasn’t much of a tell, but it made me think there was more to Nadya’s relationship to Valamir than she was telling me.

  “Do you happen to know where he lives?”

  “He’s got an estate outside the Imperial Palace grounds. Near Tollendahl's. North a ways. If he's in residence, his crest will be flying from the flagpole out front."

  “Any chance there’s a family-known secret entrance?"

  She smiled, then shook her head. "Pretty sure secret entranc
es like that are a thing of myth. It wouldn't make it a very secure place."

  “Sure, but it would be a lot easier for me to slip in and out."

  "Try not to kill anyone when you go," she said softly. "There are good people there."

  I nodded. "I try not to kill period."

  She winked at me. "Just reminding you."

  I looked over my shoulder through the window. It was already dark out. Not actually nighttime, just a heavy cloud cover that wasn’t going to afford us a long and drawn-out sunset. I looked at my plate. I still had some food on it, but I wasn't hungry anymore. I was anxious. I needed to get things knocked out so I could get this guild up and running again, and I wanted to be on the road to, well, whatever it was I was doing.

  “I’ll be getting on my way then," I said. "Better get this Valamir business settled.”

  "Good luck," she said. She leaned over, hesitated for a half-second, and then kissed me on the cheek and turned away.

  That was interesting.

  I hopped off the stool, and I started to go. Then I stopped and turned back to Nadya.

  "Thank you," I said.

  Then I left. And promptly kicked myself. Someone kisses you and you say thank you? What the hell is wrong with me?

  Chapter 170

  So. Much. Rain.

  Why were the weather patterns here so garbage? Ugh.

  My cloak performed admirably, keeping me mostly dry, but my boots gave up the game. Water squished out between my toes with every step. Gusts of wind blew rain in sideways as I walked along the city streets.

  As the darkness came on, the people cleared out. No one wanted to be out on a night like this. It was just me and a few patrols of guards. Even the carriages that normally dotted the streets and avenues had gone in. I couldn't even get a ride.

  The guards didn't stop me, but I could feel their eyes on me whenever our paths crossed. The city had settled down after the riots following the Emperor's death, and the guard patrols were half what they were the previous night. Walking north, I wanted to stop at any of the brightly lit pubs I saw. They looked like fun. Like the people inside were among friends and wanted to be there. But I had places to be.

  I also had time to think. Ever since I'd come into this new world, I'd been reacting rather than acting. I'd been given a path toward where I was by Etta, when she gave me her building — that set everything else in motion. And ever since I'd really just been stumbling along, without ever thinking long-term.

  I wanted to be a rogue, but only because I'd been a thief back in the old world, so it was the logical thing to do. I met some guys who were serious fans of the Emperor and the Empire, so I got pulled into politics. I'd never been political before, so why was I here? Was it really going to affect me? If I was trying to be this person on the other side of the law, what did it matter who was making the law?

  Sure, I wanted to topple the evil rich, but how would that stop some other rich asshole from taking over? And even worse: I now owned three buildings and had tenants and people who were beholden to me — how was I any different from a rich asshole?

  I just wanted to understand why. Why did I get this second chance, why am I here, why do this or that, why bother with any of this?

  Why care about these people? They clearly existed in a different way than me — did that make me better than them? Did it mean I could take advantage of them? Or did it mean I should put myself in danger before them? Did it mean I needed to do for them what they could not?

  Ultimately, as I trudged north through the rain, getting into the neighborhoods with the estates and the guards and the walls, I’d boiled it all down to a single question: What did I want?

  And I didn't know. I didn't know why I was playing this game, and I wasn't sure how to play it anymore. I couldn’t see a way to beat it.

  By the time I got to the house flying the blue flag of Valamir Glaton, I had managed to get myself good and depressed. I stood outside the walls, trying to get a good look at the place. Unlike most posh homes I'd seen, the walls surrounding Valamir's estate were openly built for defense. High stone walls, with no gaps. There weren’t any silly iron bars with gold pointy bits. There was no landscaping on the outside, not a single tree anywhere near the outside of the walls. Even the lampposts were on the opposite side of the street, making any attempt to climb the walls from the outside a real challenge.

  I walked all the way around the estate. It took up, in essence, two whole blocks of space. No shared walls with another home. There were two entrances, one on the north side that was very clearly a service entrance, and a much more ornate one on the south side, leading to the front of the main home. I looked through the iron gates blocking the service entrance, and saw multiple buildings inside. The buildings on the inside were more like the rest of the rich homes in the area, pretty to look at, not as great for keeping people like me out. It seemed that Valamir’s primary defense was his walls. Or the people on the inside of the walls. It made me wish I had access to satellite imagery of the area. I always did my pre-planning of home invasions with actual pictures of the places — that way I could see where things like fences, power lines, and buildings were. But here, I had to go in blind. There could be guard shacks right on the other side of the wall. In fact, there had to be guard shacks on the other side of the wall. And knowing what Valamir had been up to, at least in terms of spending Tollendahl's money, there were probably whole barracks inside the estate, filled to the brim with evil mercenaries just chomping at the bit to kill people like me.

  The only way in was magic.

  I cast shadowstep, and I slipped between the gates that weren't wholly there in the shadow realm. On the other side — well, both other sides, the shadow side and the estate side — I took a beat to look around. In the shadow realm, I was thankfully alone. No creatures were hunting me yet. I think all those deaths had done something good for me: they let me shake my shadow-creature hunters. On the estate front of things, I had been right, at least to a degree. There was a guard shack right next to the service entrance. It was currently filled with four armed and armored individuals, sitting around a lit brazier and warming their hands. It was a stone hut, but it was remarkably simple. It didn't look particularly warm or comfortable, and I was willing to bet the guards had snagged the chairs from somewhere else on the property. There were no guards outside, at least none that I could discern from within the shadow realm. I didn't want to waste the time I had in the shadows, so I sprinted toward the main house.

  Valamir’s home wasn't as ostentatious as Tollendahl's. It looked older, like it had been standing there and weathering the world for much longer. It only had three stories, and I could see that the first two floors had very high ceilings, while the last floor was very short. Servants quarters on the top, then. There was a large central section with two wings, which left the house looking like a big ‘H.’ While the outside walls of the estate were definitely built with security in mind, the home was a little more for beauty. There were nice carvings, more than a few columns, and at least a handful of vulgar rain-spouts. I slid to a stop at one of the white stone walls, putting my back against it as I came out of the shadows and back into the real world.

  I paused for a second, waiting to see if anyone noticed me, or I'd set off an alarm of some kind.

  Stillness reigned over the estate. Nothing but the perpetual downpour.

  Normally, I'd have considered wearing black as a bonus for a nighttime infiltration, but all these big nice homes seemed to be built out of gleaming white stone. If I climbed up the building, I'd stick out pretty clearly.

  I was inside the rear courtyard of the H, tucked at the corner. I could see the kitchen through a shallow window into the basement. It was a large space that looked like it could hold plenty of cooks and produce a ton of food. At that moment, though, it was the scene for a more intimate dinner. About a dozen men and women were clustered around a table laden with rustic fare — not what I assumed would be Valamir's taste. So it
had to be the staff. Oddly good timing in that. With the staff eating dinner, it’d hopefully be easier to nose around the place.

  It also meant I needed to get my ass away from the window before someone saw me. So I crawled along the base of the wall until I got to the next window, about thirty feet through muddy grass. I popped up at the window and peeked inside.

  A library. Or a sitting room. There was a large fireplace, a lot of shelves filled with monochromatic books, and a few overfilled armchairs.

  I pulled myself onto the ledge and tested the window gently.

  It slid up.

  Unlocked windows are the best. I opened it up, rolled inside, and promptly shut the window.

  I knelt behind a chair, taking a moment to see how much of a trail I was leaving behind. It was not subtle. My boots were soaked and covered in mud. And that didn't even take my cloak into account. Water was just streaming off of it. I hated to do it, but I pulled my boots off, and slipped them under the chair. Next went the cloak. I balled it up, and stuck it under the chair as well. The socks also went, because wearing them would just leave wet footprints for anyone to follow. I needed to be discrete while I searched the house for Valamir. Or really, evidence Valamir murdered his brother. I remembered to do up the collar on my highwayman's armor, so it blocked the lower half of my face.

  Then, the game was afoot.

  Chapter 171

  I know people like to think they're being unique with their home designs, but mansions are all basically the same. Unless you're truly out there, there's really a limit to what kind of rooms you can shoehorn into a living space. So Valamir's home wasn't overly different than Tollendahl's.

  I started in the west wing of the house, at the northern end. There was a hallway leading down the middle of the wing with rooms coming off it in regular intervals. I moved quickly down the hall, peeking through the key holes to get an idea of what rooms where where. And bless this world for not having moved on to little keys. They still used the old-school style keys where you could actually see through the key hole to the other side. Not great for people who valued privacy, but certainly a lot easier for us sneaky peeping types. That doesn't sound right. I wasn't there just to peep on people, or to peep on people at all. The peeping was more a side-effect… you get what I mean.