by Ambere Sabo
“After you get ready, pack a bag for the weekend.”
“We’re going somewhere?”
“Yep.”
“You gunna give me a hint as to what I need to pack?”
“I don’t care if you only pack a toothbrush. I can change our plans to fit what you bring,” he teases.
My cheeks flush with heat at the innuendo. But once I’m dressed, I do as he asked—packing all my toiletries, a couple casual outfits, a nice one, and the sexy lingerie I’d bought months ago and hidden in the back of my drawer.
When we’re ready to go, Adan tosses my bag into the trunk of his car alongside his bag.
Once we’re on the road, I turn my body towards Adan. “Where are we going for dinner?”
“You trust me?”
“With my life,” I vow.
“Then wait and see.”
I’m so excited, I can barely sit still. I love surprises. At least ones from Adan. He’s always surprising me with love notes, flowers, my favorite treats, and anything he thinks will make me smile. Lena would be surprised at the romantic her big brother is.
Adan finally pulls into the valet lane of a restaurant I’ve wanted to try since I got to town. When we’re ushered inside, my eyes quickly take everything in—from the fountain in the foyer to the crystal chandeliers to the rosebuds adorning every table.
Dinner is amazing. We share bites of everything. Throughout the evening, my mind races trying to figure out the rest of Adan’s birthday surprise. Adan and I have spent so many hours alone over the past three years. We’ve been alone in each other’s rooms every night since I arrived. But there are always people around, on the other sides of the walls, so it never feels like we’re truly alone. Packing an overnight bag to go off somewhere special with him sends a thrill through me. I’m not certain if it’s fear or excitement though. Time will tell.
“Ready to go?” he asks after he’s paid the check.
Unable to find my voice, I nod.
“Are you OK?”
“Yes, just excited… and nervous.”
“We can call this surprise over and go back to your room, if you want. No pressure.”
“No. I love when you plan surprises. Let’s go,” I say linking my fingers with his.
As we drive, it feels like ants are marching beneath every surface of my skin. Those ants grow in size and number when Adan pulls beneath the archway at the fanciest hotel in town. My parents don’t even stay here when they come to town.
With the press of a button, he opens the trunk from inside the car. A man in a suit retrieves our bags, while Adan comes around to help me from the car.
“We’re staying here,” I ask in a low whisper.
He copies my tone and says, “Yes, is that OK?”
“It’s kind of expensive. We don’t have to stay somewhere so nice.”
“Yes, we do. You only turn eighteen once. Come on, let’s go check in.”
I stand back while Adan goes to the counter. I can’t help but stare at the beauty of the luxury hotel. Within moments, Adan is back by my side.
“Enjoy your stay, Mr. and Mrs. Ortiz,” the hotel clerk calls to us as we board the elevator.
I glance up at Adan, quirking my brow. He smirks and shrugs his shoulders. The bellman climbs into the elevator car with us. With our keycard in hand, he’s able to press the button to the top floor. My eyes about pop out of my head. Adan hasn’t just gotten us a room at the fanciest hotel in town, he’s gotten us the best room as well.
The bellman shifts his feet nervously. He can probably sense the air sizzling around us. “You guys here celebrating?”
“Yes. It’s my wife’s birthday,” Adan offers.
“Well, happy birthday then,” the bellman says to me, with a smile.
“Thank you.”
With a ding, we stop our upward travel. The doors open inside a foyer rather than in a hallway. “Since your room is the only one on this floor, no one can access the floor without the keycard.” He sets our bags on the chest near the couch. “Have a nice stay, Mr. and Mrs. Ortiz,” he says before re-entering the elevator.
As soon as the sound of cables moving to carry the elevator away starts, I turn to Adan and ask, “Mr. and Mrs. Ortiz, huh?”
“It’ll be true one day, may as well practice now.”
“Is that so, Mr. Ortiz?”
He steps up to me and plants his hands on my hips. “Yes, it is, Mrs. Ortiz. Damn, I like the sound of that.”
So, do I.
“You want your present?”
“Wasn’t the whole day my present?”
“Yes, but that’s not all.”
He moves away from me, and my body screams in protest at the absence of his warmth. Digging through the front pocket of his suitcase, he produces a small square box wrapped in deep purple paper. After he hands it over, the paper is obliterated within seconds. He laughs as purple shreds fly. “You know, Lena would’ve taken ten minutes to open that box.”
“I know. I never had her patience though.”
My frantic ripping reveals a square jewelry box. I lift the lid with trembling fingers. Laying inside is a necklace with a beautiful heart-shaped pendant. It has two stones sparkling within it—amethyst and opal. I frown as I look at it.
“It’s beautiful, but I think they gave you the wrong pendant.”
He looks over my shoulder and says, “No, this is the one I had made especially for you.”
“I’m confused. The amethyst is my birthstone. But yours is ruby, not opal.”
“I know. It’s Selena’s. This way you carry a symbol of the never-ending friendship you carry in your heart.”
“Oh, Adan,” I whisper as tears flood my eyes. “Thank you. I love you so much.”
“And I love you.”
I lift my hair so he could fasten it around my neck. “It looks perfect,” he says.
I walk over to the mirror on the wall to look at it. “Yeah, it does. It looks like it was made for me,” I joke.
He winks at me.
“I’m going to go brush my teeth. I have garlic breath.”
He smiles and holds his arm out, gesturing for me to proceed.
Once I’m safely behind the bathroom door, I lean against the marble countertop. My eyes search the face of the girl in the mirror. Her hair is only slightly fly-away. Her cheeks are rosy. Her lips are slightly kiss-swollen. And her eyes… her eyes sparkle with passion and wildness. As I brush my teeth, I watch the girl reflected back at me, looking for any traces of fear or apprehension. There are none. I’m ready. My mind is ready. My heart is ready. It’s time.
When I open the door, I don’t find Adan in the room I left him in, so I go in search of him. He’s moved our bags to the bigger bedroom. The bed has two towel swans sitting in the center of a heart formed by purple rose petals. Water running behind the closed door to my right alerts me to where Adan is hiding. The door opens and framed in the light of the bathroom is a vision of love. My love.
“Did you see the swans? Aren’t they adorable?”
“I did,” he chuckles at my enthusiasm. “Breath all good now, so I can kiss you properly?”
“Mmhmm.” I drape my arms around his neck and tilt my face up to him in offering. He doesn’t make me wait.
The kiss starts tender and gentle, but it quickly evolves into nothing but heat and need. Just when I think I’ll explode from the fire building inside me, he pulls back and rests his forehead on mine. “Wow.”
“Wow’s right,” I pant.
“I just need a minute,” he breathes.
“OK.” I let him put space between us, and I move to my bag. As I lean over to find my lingerie, I feel his eyes on me like a caress.
“Can you help me unzip? I can’t quite reach it,” I ask.
“Sure,” he answers in a raspy voice.
His fingers grasp the tab and slowly pull it down, exposing the skin of my back to his gaze. This isn’t the first time he’s had to help me unzip a dress before. I�
��m sure he expects this time to play out like every time he’s assisted in the past—me clutching the front of my dress tightly to me and going to the bathroom to change. After my time in the cells with Lena, I’ve never allowed anyone to see me.
I surprise us both when I turn around to face him and let the top of my dress fall. His sharp intake of breath makes me feel beautiful and sexy and powerful. I’ve felt powerless for years now. Ever since those monsters took things from me that I can’t ever get back.
With a little nudge, my dress continues its descent over my hips and to the floor, leaving me in just a lacy black bra and matching panties. I step backwards out of the puddle of fabric. Adan still hasn’t said anything. My nerves jangle loudly at his silence.
“Adan?” I whisper in a wavering tone. “Say something. Please.” I’m near tears at the emotions running through me.
“What are you doing?” he rasps out.
“I’d hoped that would be obvious since I’m standing here in front of my boyfriend in next to nothing,” I joke, trying to lighten the mood in case I’m about to be rejected.
He swallows hard and doesn’t move. I take a deep breath to steel my nerves. “It’s OK if you don’t want to. I always worried that no one could ever want me…” my voice breaks, and I take a moment to reach down for my dress, so I can cover my vulnerability. “Ever want me after what they did…” My nose burns with the effort I’m exerting to keep my emotions in check. I will not be a pity lay. A single tear slips out as I look down to step back into my dress.
That tear is all it takes to thaw Adan. He’s in front of me in two strides, ripping the dress from my hands and crushing my body to his. He covers my face with kisses as he says, “How could you think that I wouldn’t want you? I have wanted you since I first laid eyes on you. I’ve argued with myself and taken more cold showers in the past seven months than you can imagine. I swore to myself that I’d wait until you were ready. And if you were never ready, then I could live with that.”
“I’m ready now,” I breathe into his chest.
“Are you sure?”
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”
He scoops me up in his arms and stalks to the bed. As he is about to lower me to the mattress, I shout, “Wait.”
He freezes. “We really don’t have to.”
“No, that’s not it. What about the swans,” I ask gesturing to the towel animals on the bed.
A belly laugh rumbles from him. “If the towel animals mean so much to you, I’ll move them. And I’ll learn how to make them for you after we’re married,” he vows.
He settles me gently at the head of the bed, then carefully lifts the pair of terrycloth swans and sets them on the desk. As he moves back towards me, he unbuttons his shirt and yanks it over his head. I’ve seen him without a shirt more times than I can count, but he never ceases to take my breath away. He looks at me with a question in his eyes. I nod yes to his unspoken inquiry.
His fingers move to his pants, making short work of his belt and zipper. Soon his tailored slacks join his shirt and my dress on the floor. Over the years, I’ve glimpsed him in his boxer briefs before, but I’ve always turned away quickly. This time I allow my eyes to roam over the way the fabric molds to his muscles. A smirk dances on his lips as he watches me checking him out.
With gentle hands, he pulls back the top cover and removes it, taking the rose petals with it. He leans down and removes a silver square from his wallet. Crawling up from the foot of the bed, he lies down beside me. He draws me into his arms, and I go willingly. My softness pressed against his hardness with barely anything between is more heavenly than I ever dared to imagine.
He tucks a lock of my hair behind my ear and peers earnestly into my eyes. “We don’t have to do this. I can just hold you all night if that’s what you need.”
I push against him, causing him to fall to his back. Leaning over him so that the only thing in his line of sight is my face, I say, “What I need, is you. Filling me. Completing me. Loving me. Erasing the bad.”
His fingers trace my lips, my cheeks, my nose. Then they sink into my hair as he holds my head steady. “If you need to stop, just say the word. No matter what. I don’t want you to feel scared or anxious… I want you to feel good, treasured, adored, not like…” his voice breaks off.
I’ve never spoken of what happened to me in the months I’d been taken. My family has speculated. Adan must have guessed though. I refuse to let those monsters steal anything else from me though.
“OK,” I whisper.
Our mouths collide in a clash of lips and tongues. There is no finesse in our kiss, just white-hot, need. When we come up for air, both our bodies are flush with desire. His rigid length presses against my thigh, sending tingles deep inside me.
“I’m not going to ask anymore. I’m just going to do because I don’t want you to get annoyed with me or for you to think I don’t want this. But if I do something that scares you or triggers you, just tell me.”
I nod my agreement. He sits up, and with gentle hands, he removes the last scraps of fabric from my body. He stares at me, passion flaring in his eyes. My hands shift—one above my left breast and one over my right hip bone— to cover up things I don’t want him to see. Things that make me ugly.
He tenderly moves the hand over my left breast. And instead of being repulsed by the circular scar there, he presses a kiss to it. He repeats the motion with the cigarette burn scar on my hip. And the one on the underside of my arm. He rolls me over and kisses each mark on my lower back and butt cheeks. Thankfully my face is buried in the pillow, so he can’t see the heat staining my face. When he lovingly turns me back to face him, he says, “Never feel like you need to hide any part of yourself from me. I love every inch of you and think you are the most beautiful creation God ever made.”
“Thank you.” His words are so sincere, I have no choice but to believe him. And something inside me heals at that moment.
“Now, I’m going to love you.” He settles beside me and begins to trace patterns on my skin. Shivers follow his touch. No one has ever treated me with such reverence before. His soft touch circles my nipples, alternating between them. When his head dips down to capture one in his mouth, I arch off the bed. I close my eyes, absorbing the delicious sensations his mouth causes. This is nothing close to the torturous bites I endured at the hands of my captors.
When one hand trails down and delves between my thighs, I tremble with need. “Adan,” his name falls from my lips. His motions still, worried it’s too much for me. I lift my head and meet his gaze. “Please don’t stop. Keep touching me,” I beg.
He smiles at me, and I nearly cry in relief when his hand begins to move and seek within my heat. Those questing fingers find the trigger to send me to bliss, and within a few minutes of careful attention, I’m falling off a cliff for the first time ever.
With a smug look, he settles on the pillow next to me and watches me as I float back to Earth.
The out of body experience was wonderful, but I’m greedy for more. “My turn,” I whisper. My fingers trail down his torso, memorizing every dip and valley in his muscles. Though I’ve touched him before, I’ve never allowed myself the freedom to relish the feel of his body beneath my skin. When my fingers dip beneath the waistband of his underwear, he draws in a sharp breath.
“If I do it wrong, you’ll have to tell me. I’ve never… before,” I say nervously.
“Me neither, so we’ll learn together,” he reassures me.
My eyes widen in surprise. “Never?”
“No. I was waiting for you. No one else would’ve ever been enough.”
My heart swells impossibly larger with love for this man. For a year before I arrived, he’d been surrounded by easy temptation. Yet, he’d never given in. At that moment, I finally allow myself to believe that he truly loves me as much as he says. As much as I hope. As much as I love him.
My small fingers wrap around his hot length. Well, as bes
t they can anyway. Then I stroke up and down a few times.
“Mi Amor, you’ve got to stop.”
“Oh, should I do it differently? Harder? Softer? Faster? Slower?”
“It was perfect. I just meant that if you kept going, this is going to end really quickly.”
“Oh,” I grin with pride. I’m making him nearly lose control.
He unwraps my fingers, then pulls off his underwear. Grabbing the foil square, he rips it open and rolls it on. Then he moves his body over mine and settles his length between my legs. Leaning heavily on his left arm, he keeps himself from collapsing on me. With his other hand, he teases my entrance with his fingers, igniting all my nerve endings again. When I’m shaking with need, he ever so gently eases himself into me.
He sinks in, inch by inch moving so slowly to keep from hurting me. His neck muscles flex with the restraint he’s showing. The intrusion of his body into mine, feels less like an intrusion and more like a welcoming. A welcome home. When he’s finally buried so deeply within me that I can’t tell where I end, and he begins, I finally feel whole again.
He sets a rhythm that has my pleasure rising. His eyes shine with love. “I love you,” he whispers.
“I love you too.” And I do. Even more, than I did as a silly school girl with a crush. Even more, than I did as a broken girl with nightmares.
“I’m sorry, mi Amor. This isn’t going to last long. You feel too good wrapped around me. But I promise you, it’ll be even better next time,” he pants in my ear.
“It’s perfect.” I seal my lips to his. It is perfect. This is what a first time should be like. Full of love, adoration, tenderness, and awe. Not pain, terror, and hate. This is heaven, and it’s erasing hell.
We tremble in each other’s arms and find heaven together.
As he eases off me, he says, “I didn’t think you could get any more beautiful. I was wrong. Just then, when you fell apart around me, you were more stunning than I’ve ever seen you. I want to see you with that bliss on your face every day for the rest of my life.”
As we fall asleep later that night, tangled together for the first time with no barriers between us, it’s the first time I don’t see monsters when I initially close my eyes. I only see Adan.
