The Searching Soul

by Ronald Zastre

  “I have been warning and warning of these events and what have I got for my—”

  “You have been denouncing what could be the greatest—” O’Connell interrupted the Reverend.

  “I was the first to figure it out!” Hollsworth shouted, jumping to his feet, in turn cutting in on O’Connell, his religious rhetoric now gone as he fought for the acknowledgment. “I was the first, and now that it is really happening, and you can see it, my credibility is being questioned. You want to change the scenario to fit you’re version, to take the recognition.”

  O’Connell didn’t respond to Hollsworth, but turned to Winston to get his feed on what had happened.

  “It’s a new frontier,” Winston said quietly, “I wouldn’t dispel anything, but I have a solution. I have a way we can all be certain about what’s happening on those missions.”

  O’Connell looked at Winston.

  “I’m not sure if you or the public remember,” Winston pointed to the camera, “but I was selected as, possibly, the first journalist in space a couple of years back.”

  “Yes, I do recall that,” O’Connell confirmed.

  “Well,” Winston continued, a sly smile spreading across his face. “I went through the training and passed all the requirements.” He paused. “And I see no reason that I shouldn’t go as an independent observer on the next mission,” Winston said to O’Connell, and then he turned to the camera and said with conviction. “Do you?”

  ***

  Mac looked very concerned, almost pale, as he ushered Spencer out of his office.

  ***

  “That one guy’s a little nuts,” Bart the bartender said.

  “Which one?”

  “The astronaut, the one that’s talking to God,” Bart snickered.

  “Why do you say that?”

  “He’s claiming he’s the top rep from outer-space,” Bart laughed.

  “But they’re putting the words in his mouth, didn’t you hear him explain that part?”

  “Yeah, but he’s still believing the shit, regardless.”

  “He’s stupid, but he’s not a fraud in that respect.”

  Bart looked at Carl curiously.

  “Forget I said that, it’s just the booze talking,” Carl said quickly.

  “Hey buddy, you’ve only had two beers.”

  “I was drunk before I got here.”

  “Yeah, right, what ever you say.”

  ***

  Mac was seen hustling out of the office shortly after.

  “I hope he’s going to get some rest,” Spencer commented, watching Mac head to his car through the office window, “he needs it.”

  “What happened?” Dennis asked.

  “You didn’t see O’Connell’s show?”

  “I don’t watch that crap, you know that.”

  “They lampooned us.”

  “How?”

  “Got that moron Ackerman to admit something was up.” Spencer was shaking his head. “Ackerman admitted that the Donald’s incident was more than it really was.”

  “What?” Dennis cried.

  “Yeah, Ackerman said the Donald crap was a great religious event.”

  “Oh boy! Gezz, what’s Mac going to do?”

  “Get some rest I hope, there’s not much else he could do right now.”

  “No shit!”

  Chapter 51

  WINSTON ADAMS WAS ON THE AIR -“And that is the news. Now on a personal note. Today, I was a guest on Robyn O’Connell’s television broadcast and we were privy to some disturbing new insights into the Donald’s mishap. I know TSA is satisfied with the original explanation of his death. They are also satisfied that the irregularities that occurred after his death were due to computer malfunctions and misdiagnosis. Today, one of their own, Major Henry Ackerman alluded to the contrary. But due to my sense of fair play and patriotic duties, I am willing to give the Agency a chance to clear this up. I requested that they invite me to participate in the next flight. As you all know, I have been considered before and am qualified. I want to experience, first hand, the exhilaration of space flight and belay my suspicions about the Donald’s fiasco.”

  Chapter 52

  MAC HAD CALLED A MEETING - to discuss what to do about Winston’s request. Mac knew he was in trouble, but tried to stay calm. Ackerman, Keaton, Walsh and Anderson were in his office.

  “I don’t see what else we can do, the SOB invited himself and that’s that,” Kenny Keaton cried.

  “What am I hearing here?” Mac yelled. The meeting was going to be an intense one. “He invites himself, and you aren’t going to do anything about it? Who the hell is running this agency for Christ sakes?”

  “That’s what I’m wondering?” Keaton looked accusingly at Mac. Walsh and Anderson looked his way too, curious to his answer.

  “That idiot there,” Mac pointed at Ackerman, “sabotaged my effectiveness and you’re going to blame me?”

  “No one is blaming you,” Keaton said, “it’s just fact. You’ve been basically neutralized by circumstances.” Keaton looked around “Where do we go from here?”

  “I’ve worked hard for years and now, because of—” Mac was starting to point to Ackerman again, but Keaton cut him off, shouting at Mac. “Get over it! It happened, and we are not here to point fingers. We are here to decide how to proceed. We have a lot invested, and a hell of a lot more to gain, so let’s not waste time pissing and moaning.”

  Keaton did look to Ackerman. “You’re a real asshole, by the way.”

  Thank you!” Mac declared. It was little satisfaction, but it was something.

  “Now, we need to figure out what to do with Winston?” Keaton continued.

  “Get rid of him, now,” Ackerman ordered.

  “Yeah, right, Henry.” Keaton gave him a nasty look, “I would appreciate if you got off your God-horse and used your head.”

  “We can do it, and who’s going to squawk?” Anderson added.

  “Ah, the President of the United States,” Keaton answered.

  “What are you talking about?” Anderson asked, puzzled.

  “Mac?” Keaton gestured to Mac.

  “The President called and he’s advising that Adams goes.” Mac smiled slyly at Ackerman.

  “Who the hell gives a damn?” Ackerman said smugly. “Big deal, after this mission, the President will be begging for our attention.”

  “You are stupid beyond belief,” Keaton growled at Ackerman. “You think we’re just going to walk into the position of power without objections?” Keaton looked at each individual. “We have to proceed with a certain pace. I for one am concerned about abuse of this power. We need to convince the masses, not slaughter the objectionable.”

  Keaton looked back to Ackerman. “You know, Mac understood the big picture, maybe better than anyone, and now he’s out, thanks to you.”

  Ackerman just shrugged, a silly little look on his face.

  “So Adam’s goes, and that’s it?” Walsh asked, finally contributing.

  “He goes,” Keaton said.

  “I still don’t know why something can’t happen to him?” Anderson said.

  “You want to take care of that?” Keaton asked Anderson.

  “Me, I can’t—”

  “Yeah, you can’t do a thing, and neither can any of us,” Keaton said. “And I certainly don’t want to go looking for a solution outside this room. The last thing we need is to be owing any chits, or be open for blackmail.”

  “With all the power we are—” Ackerman started to object.

  “Do you have any certainty what this power is going to be, how it is going to change us?”

  “No, but—” Ackerman didn’t have a solid answer.

  “We’ll be able to leap tall buildings, maybe?” Keaton laughed, “Maybe see through walls,” Keaton looked at Ackerman, “or stop bullets with our bare hands?”

  “I don’t know, but we’ll—”

  “We’ll what?” Keaton cried. “Until this mission is back down, and we
know exactly what your strengths will be, I would advise strongly, we don’t step in any shit that might be outside our abilities to counter.” Keaton again looked to all the astronauts, and got nods from them all.

  Keaton turned to Mac. “So what are your plans?”

  “I can’t do much,” Mac said sadly. “I need to resign.”

  “What for?” Walsh asked kindly. “Mac, you are the program.”

  “I can’t control my personnel,” Mac said, looking at Ackerman. “The Agency needs a new director, someone that can regain the authority in the eyes of everyone.”

  Keaton shook his head in agreement.

  “So, Adams it is?” Keaton said.

  “But, we all agree that he’s still a problem?” Walsh asked.

  “Oh yeah, we can’t have good old Winston getting a drift on what’s going down.” Keaton smiled.

  “We can solve the problem on the mission?” Anderson said.

  “Yes, that’s the best opportunity. We have those experiments to run, and I’m certain we’ll have better answers as to what the capabilities of the Searching Souls will be.”

  “I like the irony of that,” Anderson laughed. “Winston coined that name and it will destroy him.”

  As they were filing out of the office, Keaton and Mac stayed behind.

  “It’s all set?” Keaton asked.

  “Yeah, it’s time to move on,” Mac responded, shaking Keaton’s hand. Keaton patted Mac on the shoulder as he turned to leave.

  Chapter 53

  MAC MCMILLIAN WAS A WORKAHOLIC - no one under his supervision had any doubt about that. It was common for him to put in well over a hundred hours a week on his various projects. His only distraction was his fancy set of wheels. Mac was not married and had no children, so his car was the substitute for his attentions.

  ***

  It was close to midnight, and Mac’s car, a very powerful version of a Porsche, was flying down a country road. The driver was sitting upright, rigid, no seat-belts on. The car was accelerating down the road reaching extreme speeds, it’s powerful engine shattering the calm of the tree lined, country lane.

  The sports car flashed by, edging to the right of the road toward an abutment of an overhead bridge. The car headed at the solid concrete at one hundred and ninety miles an hour. A horrendous bang, accompanied by a big flash and small, burning, shattered pieces of the car flying in all directions ended the saga.

  ***

  “Even this guys teeth and fingernails are busted up,” the Coroner’s man said to the trooper as they stood watching the clean up crew.

  Chapter 54

  CARL AND WINSTON WERE WALKING - through the trees again.

  “So it begins, huh?” Carl said to Winston.

  “Yeah, I’m on the flight.” Winston confirmed.

  “It worked, they actually fell for it.”

  “It wasn’t really that difficult. Hell, they would have been disappointed if I hadn’t invited myself. They’re making plans for something to happen to me up there. They think I’m stupid.”

  “Geez Winston, did it every occur to you, you might be? They want to snuff you out and you’re elated.”

  “I have the upper hand.”

  “I’m scared Adams. I didn’t think about what I was getting into. Is there anything you can guarantee to make me feel better, seeing you are so enlightened?”

  “I know I’m right on this Carl, keep your faith. It is always darkest before the dawn.”

  “My ass is in the ringer, and you’re spouting cliches. I’m probably next on their list so I could use more than flowery words right now, especially if you’re wrong.”

  “If I’m wrong, then we can both kiss our asses good-by. And remember, I’m the one riding the Roman Candle. You will still have your feet on the ground and can run and hide.”

  “I guess, just as long as they don’t find out what we have planned. If they had any idea what we’re up too, you wouldn’t be going anywhere.”

  “As long as they don’t get the President’s file,” Winston said.

  “No way,” Carl laughed. “He still wants to be President so he wants this stopped and now. He doesn’t want to be second fiddle to anybody.”

  “Then I doubt they would consider something so radical. They want to revel in their splendor, reap the benefits of their victory and be around to enjoy the perks. It’s their weakness Carl.”

  “I wish I shared your cavalier attitude. I just feel like I’ve gotten into something I shouldn’t have, and now there is no way out. I feel so alone, so isolated.”

  “If a person truly contemplates God, the all seeing Entity, he or she would immediately realize some basic concepts. After all, the all seeing Entity does just that, it sees everything. Any Entity in a position as exalted as that, I doubt is going to be interested in bullshit. More to the point, if there is a god, what ever he, she, or it may be, it would be very sophisticated, beyond our comprehension, and I can’t see it being interested in the devotion of mortals. It would be impressed with its subjects that are naturally good and just.” Winston turned to Carl. “That would be you Carl!”

  “Is that supposed to make me feel any better?”

  “Yeah, we’re on the right track and we will be around to tell the story. The other guys will just have a lot of explaining to do.”

  “What ever! Well, I guess this is good-by Winston. I do hope we meet again. Boy, I really mean that too. I’d wish you a safe flight, but knowing what I do.” Carl reached out and hugged Winston.

  Chapter 55

  CARL AND AMY WERE WALKING - down a street after dark.

  “Talk about clandestine, is the secrecy necessary?” Amy complained.

  “I didn’t want to just sneak off without explaining, but there’s trouble. I have to go.

  “I’m sorry it turned out this way, I liked you big guy.”

  “I’m sorry too. Damn this complicated world. Walking here with you, I realize how important two people that care about each other are compared to the rest of the bullshit. It’s my fault, I didn’t understand until it was to late . . . or everything was too complicated?”

  “No, it is both our faults, Carl. We all know how important things can be to us after we’ve lost them, but we still throw them away. It is what we do best. Why are we finished Carl? Who did what wrong?

  “We didn’t do anything wrong my friend, but I have to go. I’m running, and running scared. I can’t involve you.”

  “Is that why Mac took his life?”

  “I’m not so sure he did?”

  “You can be sure. He drove into a bridge abutment at over one hundred and ninety. I never could understand why anyone needed a car that fast, until now. It gives credibility to died instantly.”

  “It gives more credibility to beyond recognition,” Carl laughed.

  Chapter 56

  CARL WAS BEING FOLLOWED IN HIS CAR - He tried to loose the other car in traffic, but it stayed with him. He stepped on the gas, speeding between cars, running lights, etc. He finally lost control and smashed into a store, going through the glass front. Dazed and bleeding he stumbled from his car. He started toward the rear of the store, but flashing lights out front got his attention. A police car screeched to a stop outside. He changed directions and ran toward the police car. Two police officers were getting out when they were hit with intense gunfire. Carl stumbled, trying to change directions to get back inside the store. Two men were walking quickly toward him with assault rifles aimed right at him.

  “Go ahead, give me a reason,” the first man said. “I’m supposed to deliver you alive, but I don’t have to. I can end it here if you give me reason enough.”

  The second man grabbed Carl by the collar and jerked him back. Another car roared up, the rear door flying open. The second man propelled Carl through the door, sending him sprawling on the back seat. The man climbed in, slammed the door, and the car sped off.

  ***

  Carl was shoved to the rear floor and a gun was held to his
head The car drove for close to an hour. There had been some highway travel, he could tell by the speed, but for a few minutes the speed had dropped. Now the car was driving slowly and on gravel. The car stopped and the back door was opened.

  “All right, get up,” a male voice commanded.

  Carl drug himself out, stumbled and fell to the gravel. Two pairs of hands grabbed him under the shoulders and lifted. He was dragged, half walking, half propelled. It’s was pitch black out and he had no orientation. He heard a door being opened, and then he was shoved through the door, skidding to the floor. The door slammed shut. There was complete darkness in his prison.

  ***

  Carl had little reference to time and after what he thought might be half a day, someone was opening the door. Carl tried to stand, but he was weak. The door came fully open, light flooding in because it was daytime now. A figure was standing just outside. Carl’s eyes were unaccustomed to the light and he rubbed them, trying to clear his vision so he could see the figure more clearly.

  “Who are you? What do you want?” Carl stammered, his mouth and throat parched.

  The person standing in the door was still just a shadow, the light streaming in from behind. The figure moved forward, and Carl looked up at the person. It took a moment for recognition.

  “I didn’t want to believe it, but in the back of my mind I guess, I knew,” Carl said, pulling himself up against a wall.

  “What did you know Carl?”

  “That you wouldn’t have the guts to take your own life.”

  “Why did you do it?” Mac asked quizzically, his head tilting to the side.

  “That was my question.”

  “You’re a traitor,” Mac said matter of factually

  “To who or what?” Carl looked up at Mac.

  “To us,” Mac hesitated. “To the program.”

  “I’d be interested in hearing your reasoning on that one.” Carl tried to find some moisture in his mouth. “Us and the program are two completely different entities. Us, is you and your thugs trying to do your thing, the program is what I was trying to protect.”

  “There are some powerful forces at work and they need to be understood,” Mac said, kneeling down slightly. “We have found the way. We are going to be the people of the Lord, and you will be going someplace else. I feel sorry for you.”