Live and Let Learn

by Dixon Block

  *****

  Sam and Sarah both grew up fine. They missed their father in their life, but Sam was told his true parentage and Sarah had no recollection of Jason, so her attachment to a father figure was more toward John Granus.

  Granus felt horrible for killing his best friend, and even worse because he felt that if he had only called out Jason’s name before he leapt at the intruder the entire scenario could have been avoided. But he also felt that perhaps he didn’t call out to his friend for a reason. After all, with Jason gone he was able to join the family, wasn’t he? Regardless of how he felt, after the initial shock of the situation life for the Dawds and John Granus returned to a more normal routine.

  Jason would always be thought of from time to time by Diane, Granus, and others that knew him, but the unfortunate truth was that time healed their wounds and Jason faded slowly.

  Decades passed and Jason’s grandchildren passed away and it was then that he was forgotten almost entirely. The only mark he left on the world was a few average articles for an average newspaper that had also not been seen for a long time.

  So spins the Earth.

  ***

  Billy Sullivan returned to his family after his two-year sentence. He went back to college and received a degree, one that he put to use working for his father’s company. He became successful and did well for himself financially. He shared some of this money, anonymously, with the Granus family: John, Diane, Sam, and Sarah. He knew it was his fault that someone close to them no longer was.

  In enough time Billy too was forgotten.

  So spins the Earth.

  *****

  Jason became aware of his surroundings. Alan looked tired and the room was pure white again. He quickly surrounded the two of them with the pleasant aroma of coffee and baked goods. Outside the café it was snowing, making the warmth of the inside even cozier. He was beginning to get quite good at using his control over his surroundings, he marvelled.

  He knew that he could do about as much as he wanted to without much more than a whim. He felt as if he were inside one big dream in which he had whatever magical powers he wanted to have. But he knew it wasn’t true. Everything seemed familiar, almost ordinary as opposed to the amazement he had felt when he first woke in this . . . afterlife of sorts.

  Things here were peaceful. He experienced worry and concern for sure, but neither emotion could convince him that things were not trivial. Fleeting. As if any problem in the world would fade with time so long as he was willing to wait it out and enjoy things as they were.

  “Alan, I dreamed more.”

  “What about this time?” Alan’s voice was strong but not as clear as it once was. A slight rasp had disrupted the silky texture it had once had and Jason wondered if the man was coming down with a cold. He wasn’t sure if that was even possible here, wherever here was.

  “I dreamed of my family again, but of the future. I dreamt that they lived through their lives. I saw my grandchildren, and their children too!”

  The corners of Alan’s mouth twitched; his eyes soft. “That’s common,” he said, “You often see those close to you as they carry on in their lives. Soon you will start seeing others’ whose lives touched yours in a meaningful way and eventually, people who brushed by you ever so slightly will become clear to you. Their lives, their thoughts, their emotions. Then people from different places in the world. Then different times. Different creatures.”

  “I’ll dream from the perspective of animals?”

  “Of course! And trees and rocks too. Anything you can imagine.”

  “Okay that’s just getting ridiculous now,” Jason chuckled, breaking apart a croissant that he had made appear in front of him.

  “Jason, the nature around you is older than anything you could imagine. Don’t you think it has experienced more than enough to have accumulated a significant amount of knowledge?”

  “How could a rock have knowledge?”

  “Not knowledge in the way that Jason Dawds would understand it, but knowledge nonetheless.”

  After a moment of thought, Jason spoke. “You said that I would start dreaming of others who touched my life. I also dreamt of the thief from the day I died.”

  “So soon?” Alan’s eyebrows rose, but he continued sipping something from a mug in front of him as if nothing really surprised him anymore.

  “If you think it’s soon then I guess so, but it felt right.”

  Alan nodded, “If it feels right then it is right. Your instinct is the best sense that you have, Jason.”

  And with that, both men settled into thought as they ate and drank in their little, empty café.

  ***

  “I dreamt I was hunting an animal, with a spear.”

  “Where were you?”

  “America, I think . . .”

  “What’s the problem?”

  “I didn’t know that still went on there. It was a buffalo.”

  “Maybe the question shouldn’t be where you were, but rather, when.”

  Jason stared at Alan, trying to comprehend. “I can travel through time?”

  “Jason, you created an entirely new life for yourself at Illinois University, remember?”

  “Right, I forgot!” Jason admitted, “Are you still not able to Watch me? When will it come back? I know it bothers you, I can tell. You’re . . . different.”

  “I don’t believe it will. Even for me things are new this time.”

  “Will you answer something for me?”

  “I’ll try to, yes.”

  “You often speak as if this has happened before. I always assumed that you meant with other dead people, and even though you sometimes spoke to me as if I had done this before, myself, I just let it slide. I was sure that you met so many people who died that you got confused once in a while.”

  “And now you’re not so sure of that?” Alan asked, a twinkle in his eye.

  “No. Not at all. I’m starting to feel as if I have been here before. When I first met you I had some sort of twinge of familiarity. Even your name, you told me to choose something to call you and I somehow just knew to say Alan. You keep saying to trust my instincts, but why? None of this makes any sense.”

  “Okay,” Alan seemed to be serious. He folded his hands on his lap and he looked at Jason directly. “I think you have something else you want to say. I can see it. I know you well, Jason. Out with it.”

  “I think . . . That is to say, I feel as if . . . Well, I’m all of them, aren’t I? These dreams aren’t dreams. I’m actually living as these people, right?”

  “You’re close, Jason. You’re correct, you are all these people, but you are very much here. At least at the moment. These dreams aren’t other lives, but memories.”

  Jason looked at Alan, as if reading the man to find out the joke. But there was nothing to suggest a lie. Alan’s face was becoming wrinkled. His hair was all but gone, and he looked nothing like he had when Jason first met him. More than anything he looked tired.

  “I’ve been Watching you for forever, I’ve told you this. Every life lived on Earth, from the fish to the trees, from humans to each grain of sand on the beaches. You’ve experienced what they have. Through you, I’ve gained that experience and added it to my own. We are always learning and, Jason, you cannot hope to understand it all at once.

  “I tell you to trust your instinct because that is all the knowledge and experience that you have. You might not consciously know why something happens, or how, but somewhere in your being, you do. You’ve played around a little, seeing different lives, even things that never really happened to you in what you would classify as the past, like Illinois. You can do anything, Jason. You can be anyone, you can change anything. Because you always could. The man who robbed your house the day you died, was you. The man who cheated with your wife, who was your best friend, and who killed you, was you. You’ve expressed barely any anger toward these men, or your wife, and I should have understood sooner how you were so at peace. Usually you ar
e much more emotional when you die.”

  “And?” Jason asked, “Why is it different this time?”

  Alan laughed sadly, “Even now you are drinking in my explanation as if it was nothing new! Jason, It’s because you understand. Since you’ve arrived you’ve understood things quicker than ever, you’re starting to even travel through what you would call time to visit different experiences. You created your own alternate dimension in which you had all your senses about you. Usually when that happens you create a new life and stick to it, having no clue you ever lived or died differently. And what’s more is that I can always Watch you, and this time you visited Illinois without me knowing, keeping your wits about you, and even resisting the temptation of doing things over and changing regrets.

  “Jason, I think all this means that you are ready for the next step. I think you’ve decided that you’ve gained all you could from Earth and you are ready to move on.”

  “And what is this next step? If I’ve learned all I could, what else is there?” Jason was curious, but not fearful.

  “I think you are now going to be a Watcher yourself.”

  Jason contemplated the idea. It made sense to him as well, if he couldn’t learn more on Earth, he would have to view another’s growth in order to absorb more information. He could observe them as Alan had done him, and make new discoveries through their own.

  “Alan, will I be able to visit Earth?”

  “Why not? You are the only one who has ever had any influence on Earth. You decided everything, and you will continue to do so. You will also be able to Watch another being. And you will always have your Reflection Point where you can relax your mind and find peace.”

  “Like you do?”

  “Yes.”

  “Alan, were you a human like me once?”

  “No, not human, but yes I also lived in a similar way to you. And then I Watched you.”

  “And now?”

  “I don’t know,” Alan said simply, “I guess that’s my next step.”

  Jason nodded. He had come to the same conclusion. “I guess this is goodbye then? I’ll miss you, and your answers.”

  “You’ll soon be giving your own. I do feel as if it’s time to go. I don’t quite know how, but my own Watcher kind of faded when it was time. What do I look like to you?”

  “Like an old man, weary, and a little apprehensive.” Jason responded.

  “That’s interesting . . . I appear as a green tentacled alien to myself . . .”

  Jason raised an eyebrow.

  “Ah! It’s less fun pulling your leg when you’ve come to expect the unexpected!” Alan laughed. “It’s true I don’t look the way you’ve ever seen me, at least not when I see myself, the human form is something you created yourself.”

  “I know, I assumed that’s how there is evidence of evolution? My past attempts of development?”

  “Exactly! But the alien thing was from your own experience, not mine. I guess old habits die hard when you’ve spent so long learning in one habitat, you don’t change so easily in someone else’s idea of life. But I meant to ask how I look in terms of fading.”

  Jason had known what he had meant. The fact was that the man had been fading out of Jason’s sight since he had mentioned it was time to do so, but Jason also knew that it would be easier for the man, the being, to transcend to wherever he was headed if he was caught unawares. Jason could read the slight fear on Alan’s face and knew that even after living his own life and Watching Jason live his, the unknown was still worrisome.

  As the man finally disappeared completely Jason finally knew what it was to be a Watcher.

  The emotions were endless. He remembered great pain, happiness, and confusion. He knew of love, hatred, and deceit. Everything he had ever felt as a part of the Earth’s life he now knew he could access as simply as breathing and he knew also of loneliness. It was clear to him that the interactions of all his experiences on Earth were not without reason, he was a being that needed companionship and he knew that any time not spent Watching the Next one, he would spend on Earth.

  Perhaps he would change events and experiment with different outcomes. Perhaps he would visit the world of his favourite book. Perhaps he would simply enjoy a family life. He could have the happiest of times, but he knew that there was also much to learn from the sadness. He thought maybe he would relive a war, or possibly lose all those around him. It didn’t matter what he did first because he knew that he had as much time as he needed, to do whatever he needed to do.

  Was Alan’s time to go dependant on his own required time on Earth, or the other way around? Regardless, he knew his journey was only beginning. Jason thought that maybe, his Watcher had moved on to something greater, perhaps Watching Jason Watch the Next one. He smiled at the complicated thought. It would be nice to see Alan again if Jason moved on to the same place.

  Or perhaps, Jason pondered, he himself was also Alan, like so many others on Earth that he had seen pass away, only to find out that all along they were all one with him. Maybe it was the same here too, only on a greater level of complexity. If it was true, he would be able to understand how Alan saw himself, in what physical form he had created in his own version of Jason’s Earth. Would it work the same as how easy it was to recall all the memories he had of everything on Earth?

  Smiling at all the possibilities of truth, he closed his eyes and was washed away by the flood of memories that he immersed himself in.

  At the same time a new world was beginning to form, the Next was beginning to mature.

  Dear Reader,

  It’s good of you to take the time and immerse yourself in my work. I’m happy you’ve done it and I really hope you enjoyed yourself! I’m writing this short note to you to ask you for a favour. In the current times there are over 3500 books published each day and that is not even including all the Ebooks that are self-published. That’s a lot of books!

  I hope you enjoyed the story of Live and Let Learn and that maybe you even took away something more than momentary entertainment from it! Feel free to keep in touch or stay in the know for upcoming books by visiting my website at www.dixonblock.wix.com/author or following me on Twitter @DixonBlock.

  Cheers,

  Dixon

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Dixon Block is a Canadian who is living abroad in Aachen, Germany. He juggles his time between working as an English teacher, writing books, and enjoying his time with his family. Dixon was always an avid reader and he studied dramatic arts in his teen years, giving him an outlet for his imagination. He went on to study Education and Child Developmental Psychology at Brock University, where he found his partner Julia Schmitz. After living together and beginning to raise a cat they moved to Aachen where they adopted a dog to complete their little family. It was there that Dixon began to write, in hopes that it might contribute a little towards paying the bills.