Quad Squad

by R. Barri Flowers

  Andrea

  Okay, what the fuck, how is Sabrina hotter than me???? I’m just joking, I read that in Jerry’s journal, he actually says that, and I think it’s fucking hilarious reading somebody else’s journal, especially a guy’s.

  So me and Jerry read each other’s journals, which is like, hilarious to me. I’m going to be partners with Rach, which is dope, but I haven’t read her shit yet. This whole thing anyway got started because me and Jerry were reading each other’s, basically it was this truth or dare thing in class and FYI I always choose dare, losers choose truth and they always lie anyway or no one cares, they tell you that they like someone that everyone already knows they like, who cares?

  But anyway me and Jerry were cracking up and people were kind of giving us attitude but fuck them, me and Jerry are cool, and If people want to think whatever they want to think about that then I don’t even care. I mean, it’s a journal, God, what is the big deal?

  I mean, it’s totally funny, though. We traded for a day, it was like this personalized homework or whatever, and usually I would of course either not do it if it was actual homework or do it at the last minute, but this time I read the whole thing in about two minutes, I’m not even kidding, and then reread certain parts. Because his journal was all, and I even copied down what he said; everyone thinks that Andrea is hot and she is, of course, like from a neutral point of view, but personally I think that Sabrina is hotter.

  I mean, whatever. I guess beauty is in the eye of the bolder and all of that, but it’s kind of weird when he says, everyone thinks that Andrea is hot and she is, because honestly of course you if you’re anybody kind of want people to say stuff like that about you? But then when they do, it’s so awkward.

  And then I was like, shit, what did I say in mine and is he reading that right now, and who else knows, and what exactly did I say?

  Because I think that I might have said some stuff about Latrell and Malik and those black, I mean African-American guys? And I wouldn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea, like I like all people and everything, but excuse me if I think certain types of people are hotter for me, for me personally. I don’t see how that’s my fault or how I’m a racist. Like honestly I don’t remember what I wrote about, I wrote most of it on my phone like in the bathroom haha, journals are like the weakest assignment ever, you don’t have to do anything.

  But what’s weird? The rest of Jerry’s journal is kind of majorly boring, okay that’s not so weird, but it’s so much about him being fat??? Like, why? He’s soooo obsessive about it, it’s like, okay, girls are obsessive about it all the time, but he’s just a guy, he should chill about it, and anyway he’s not even fat at all. He’s such a freak. Also he is into something called RC cars, which is fucking hilarious because literally his entire journal is about them and it’s like, what the fuck is an RC car? Also …. whoooooo .. carrrrrres???? Omg I almost died I was reading about him and his stupid cars that his dad and him drive. Guys are so lame.

  I guess the idea for this stupid Other People’s Shoes project is that people have to go pretend all day to be someone else which I actually think is kind of twisted but also sick, because it’s like the ultimate dare, kind of. I’m going to be Rachel, which is probably going to be snooze-o-rama, no offense, girl.

  But I was thinking, wouldn’t it be kind of great, kind of crazy and weird, but kind of great, if I had to switch not journals but like lives with Jerry? How sick would that be?

  I mean, time out, would I have to go live with his dad, while Jerry was at my house? I don’t think so, people. Not gonna happen. What up, Ms. Rodale, no way would I do that. I would def pretend to be him at school, though, I think that would be effing hilarious. First of all I’d get a blond curly wig and I’d wear a skate shirt and cargo shorts and Vans and carry a skateboard everywhere I go. Then I’d hang out with Tim and pick zits.

  Who I feel sorry for? Rachel. Because Jerry just said in his journal what everybody else says about her, that she’s a total brain and really nice, which you bet your ass she is, she’s my girl, but also he said that she’s not that hot, and that she has and I quote, no tits.

  And you, like, think guys think about stuff like that and whatever but you’re not sure, maybe it’s just in bad movies? But totally he dissed her body major and that sucks for her.

  All right, well, I guess I have to also talk about the thing. People want me to say something about what happened at the party. Like, everybody wants to know. My mom found out somehow, do not ask me how, and she wants to talk to Neil’s parents and Miles’s’ parents and I had to like beg, like plead with her for about nineteen hours to just let it go because nothing happened, okay? Like, Tim and Miles got in a fight, period, and I did not ask either one of them to fight over me or whatever, and besides that I didn’t do anything wrong. Like literally every person at school has asked me what happened and first of all I don’t actually completely remember because I was kind of on some stuff, not important what, and second of all he didn’t do anything to me. Like, yeah, he was being uncool, like extremely, but I can handle it, okay? I hate how everyone is treating it like I’m this victim that can’t speak up for herself, because fuck that. But everyone is like, oh, was he behaving inappropriately? And it’s like, well, how am I supposed to know what is their opinion of appropriate or not? I’m saying, it’s not always that obvious, in case you didn’t notice. Like sometimes when you see in the old movies from the like 90s or whatever the guy will just grab the girl and like suddenly kiss her and she’ll be all into it and the movie ends happy or whatever. Like don’t tell me that if you’re a girl you don’t sometimes want the guy to make a, like, move. To, like, grab you with passion, like not necessarily every time, but admit it.

  And it’s not like Miles is so gross, every girl in that school would do him, still, right now, don’t tell me they wouldn’t, and I did go sit with him at the party so that part is on me I guess. It’s kind of my fault?

  I mean he was kind of being too much, okay, obviously, but that doesn’t mean he attacked me. I just kind of hate how everyone has to have an opinion instead of just dealing with the fact that it was something between me and him and I should get to decide about it and not have my mom talk to anyone about it. God!