Nothing Personal

by Jaci Burton

  "It's not true!" James said, his face contorted with rage and frustration.

  Stan Fredericks stood. "You know the penalty for trying to manipulate the outcome of the marriage, don't you, James?"

  Ryan had forgotten that little tidbit in Quentin McKay's will. Anyone who stood to gain from Ryan's departure as CEO and was found guilty of manipulating their marriage, would lose their board position.

  "She can't prove a thing," James sneered.

  "Oh, can't I?" Faith's eyes all but gleamed. "You know, it's amazing, but I thought Erica Stanton had more guts. Apparently a little well-pressed inquisition and she waffled like a burst balloon. Erica will be more than happy to corroborate my accusation."

  Ryan had to admit surprise at Faith's backbone. She stared James down like two starving dogs after the same bone. Who'd have thought the shy kitten could turn into a menacing tigress?

  James stood and heaved breaths in and out, but didn't say a word.

  "Is there something you'd like to add, James?" Ryan asked, all attempts at politeness gone.

  James looked like a big red beet about to burst. Ryan wanted to laugh at him, but held himself in check. Without another word James pushed his chair back and stormed from the room.

  It was over. Ryan exhaled a sigh of relief. "If there are no other questions or comments we'll adjourn the meeting, and see you next month. Thank you for coming."

  Ryan had to wait through the congratulations from the board members before he could get Faith alone to question her. After everyone left they remained in the room.

  "Now will you please tell me what the hell is going on? Why did you lie to the board like that?"

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  "I didn't lie."

  "Yes, you did. You lied about the fact we were still together, and you lied about being pregnant."

  Faith frowned and blushed. This wasn't the way she had planned to tell him, but then again nothing had gone as planned the past week. And most of that had been her fault.

  No, it had been James's fault.

  "I guess you'll have to decide the part about us being together, but the pregnancy part is true. I'm going to have your child, Ryan."

  "What?"

  The look on his face was priceless. Another memory to tuck away and recall fondly when she was older. "You heard me."

  "You're really pregnant?"

  She couldn't seem to wipe the smile off her face. "Yes, I'm really pregnant."

  He seemed distracted, his thoughts miles away. "How long have you known?"

  "Since the night I went to your office and found who I thought was you in Erica's arms. The night I left you."

  He ran his fingers through his hair. "That's what I figured happened.

  I can't believe James did that."

  She nodded. "I went to the doctor that day because I hadn't been feeling well, had missed my period and I was pretty sure I was pregnant, but wanted a blood test to be absolutely sure. When I found out, I came home looking for you but James said you'd be at the office until late."

  "I was downtown at a client's office that day, but I was home that evening."

  "I know that now. I didn't know that when I walked into the office to find Erica with her arms around someone that at the time I thought was you."

  He stared dumfounded. "James and I do look alike, especially from the back."

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  "Yes. I just assumed it was you. Stupid of me, I know. And Erica made this speech about how the two of you fooled me, how you were going to dump me as soon as I was pregnant, and then you'd get back with her without having to raise a child."

  "I'm going to kill them," he said through clenched teeth.

  She touched his arm. "No, you're not. You've already beaten James.

  He'll never have the company now, and he knows it."

  "The bastard." His face contorted in anger. Faith touched his shoulder and he flinched and turned to her.

  "You thought I'd cheat on you with Erica."

  She shook her head. "I...I didn't know what to believe."

  "Why didn't you tell me? Confront me with it instead of just packing up and leaving? Why didn't you have a little trust in me?"

  Panic rose up in her throat. "I...I didn't think you wanted me."

  "Why in hell would you think that?" He jammed his fingers through his hair. "Damn, Faith, couldn't you read me? Couldn't you tell how I felt about you? How could you have just left me without explanation?"

  She fell into the nearest chair and clasped her shaking hands together. How could she explain to him that she didn't think he'd want her, that it was easier to believe he'd rather run back to Erica than make a life with her? That night, she'd been on the verge of blurting out that she'd seen him with Erica. But a lifetime of hearing her mother's voice in her head, of having to face her mother's disapproving looks...no, she just couldn't go through that with the man she loved. So she'd taken the coward's way out and just walked away, making the biggest mistake of her life.

  "I see," he said, jamming papers into his briefcase.

  "Ryan, please. Let me explain."

  He looked down at her, his eyes bleak and remote. "Like you let me explain the night you left? You've done your part, Faith. You got pregnant. Thank you for coming to my rescue here, but I think we've said www.samhainpublishing.com 163

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  all we're going to say. It's clear you'll never trust in me and you don't have the feelings I thought you had. I won't live like that."

  He turned and walked out of the room. Faith's body weighed like cement, making her unable to move, to go after him.

  She'd hurt him. The one thing he'd always been able to count on was her trust and loyalty to him. And then when he'd needed it the most she'd let him down. She hadn't believed him. Could she blame him for not believing her now?

  It didn't matter. None of this mattered. She'd made amends and saved McKay Corporation, but she couldn't win back the man she loved.

  *

  Ryan slammed the front door and threw his briefcase on the table. He stormed into his office and shut the door, heading straight for the bar to get a drink.

  Downing two quick shots, he welcomed the burn in his chest.

  Anything to kill the pain.

  A soft knock sounded at the door.

  "Go away!" he bellowed.

  "Master Ryan, may I come in?"

  "Not now, Leland. Whatever it is can wait." Ryan threw off his jacket and slid down onto the leather sofa, leaning his head back and closing his eyes.

  Anther drink, that's what he needed. Dull the pain, send him into oblivion, make him forget.

  The click of the door opening had him jumping up off the sofa. "I said I didn't want to be disturbed."

  Leland stepped in and closed the door behind him. Ryan glared at his butler.

  "I'm sorry, sir, but you really must listen to me."

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  Leland had never disobeyed an order before. In all the time Ryan had known him, he'd been the epitome of professionalism. In fact, he'd just noticed that Leland had called him Master Ryan. He hadn't done that since he was a boy.

  "What is it?" Ryan stepped to the bar and poured another drink.

  "Drinking won't make you forget her." Leland stood in the center of the room, his hands clasped behind him.

  "Don't know what you're talking about," Ryan said, reaching for the bottle.

  In two quick steps Leland grasped the bottle and pulled it away. If Ryan hadn't seen it with his own eyes he wouldn't have believed it. Nor could he believe the disapproving look Leland gave him.

  "You've had enough alcohol," Leland said, slipping the bottle onto a shelf.

  "Do not tell me what to do," Ryan ground out, his teeth clenched together so hard his jaw throbbed.

  "Someone needs to
tell you what to do. I'm tired of seeing one McKay after another make a royal mess of their lives. I allowed your father to do it but I will not permit you to make the same mistakes."

  What in the world? Ryan was speechless. Leland advanced on him and Ryan backed up a step, unable to fathom this new side of the family butler.

  "Leland, what the--"

  "Enough." Leland held up a hand to silence Ryan. "Mrs. McKay loves you. She's always loved you. The fact you are too afraid to let her is something that I will not allow. This has to stop somewhere, and this is as good a place as any."

  Ryan sat back down. Leland stood over him, his dark eyes fierce with anger.

  "I watched what your father and mother and grandfather did to you.

  Watched them manipulate you and treat you like nothing but one of www.samhainpublishing.com 165

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  McKay Corporation's assets. Watched a sensitive, wonderful young boy grow up without any love or affection."

  How could Leland have noticed all these things? Ryan had felt so isolated, so alone, and yet as he thought about it, Leland and Margaret's kindness toward him had been the one bright thing in his childhood.

  "I've loved you since you were an infant, Master Ryan. Margaret and I both have. You have a capability to love, despite your denials. You have shown love to Mrs. McKay in ways that made me incredibly proud of you.

  But now, when she needs you the most, you've let her down."

  "I let her down? Now wait a minute, Leland." Ryan began to stand up, but Leland pushed his shoulder until he sat.

  "Stay there, I'm not finished."

  Ryan was too surprised to move.

  "As I was saying, both Margaret and I love you. You are the child we never could have. Of course with our stations we could not show you parental love. It saddened us that we couldn't give you the love you so desperately needed, but heartened when Mrs. McKay came into your life.

  Finally, we thought someone loved you the way you deserved to be loved.

  We couldn't show you, but she could."

  The revelations tore at his gut. Leland and Margaret loved him? Had loved him, all his life? And Faith loved him?

  Was he so wrapped up in the hurts of the past, so insistent on refusing any kind of love, that he'd missed everything?

  "I had no idea, Leland. I'm sorry." He stood, stepping towards the man who'd been more parent to him than any McKay ever could.

  Leland placed his hand on Ryan's shoulder, and Ryan could swear he saw moisture gather in the old man's eyes. "The McKays have made a mess of love for many years...Ryan. See if you can't change that now.

  With Faith. She loves you."

  That was the first time Ryan ever heard Leland use their first names.

  "Faith doesn't--"

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  "Don't think with your head on this, Ryan. Think with your heart.

  You know she loves you. Don't let her slip through your fingers or you'll regret it until the day you die."

  *

  Faith hoped she wouldn't run into anyone at the office. She'd sailed past the guard with what little bravado she possessed, hoping he wouldn't see through her misery and pain.

  She wanted to pack up and take her personal things out of the office before Ryan came in. With any luck, she'd slip out before any McKay Corporation employees showed up for work.

  After the showdown in the conference room yesterday, Faith had gone back to the hotel and waited, hoping that Ryan would change his mind and come to her.

  He hadn't.

  It was over. She'd tried her best to make amends, and it hadn't worked. He didn't love her enough to forgive her.

  Fighting the tears blurring her vision, she dug into the bottom drawer of her desk for the last of her things.

  "What do you think you're doing?"

  She jumped at the sound of Ryan's voice. Damn. Damn, damn, damn! This wasn't supposed to happen. She swatted at the tears with the back of her sleeve and turned around.

  "I'm sorry," she said, barely able to find her voice. "I had thought to have this done before you arrived."

  He looked so good, his jeans snug against his well-muscled body, the dark polo shirt bringing out the fire in those stormy eyes she loved so well. She fought back the aching sob that threatened to escape.

  Ryan's gaze traveled to the box on top of her desk. "Going somewhere?"

  She nodded, unable to speak.

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  "I don't want you to go," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

  Her eyes met his and she couldn't believe what she saw there.

  Determination and something warm and tender that just about ripped her heart in two.

  "You don't?" she said, swallowing hard.

  He shook his head. "I'm a stupid fool. Thank God Leland had the sense to point that out to me."

  "Leland did?"

  "Yeah, believe it or not. The old man laid down the law to me last night. It was like having a father. A real father."

  She saw the hint of a smile on his face, and her heart swelled with hope and love. "He loves you, you know."

  Then the smile appeared in full. "Yeah, I sort of got that idea."

  Faith grinned. "I knew he did. And I hoped that some day you two would realize that you're more father and son than butler and employer."

  Ryan stepped toward her. "My eyes were opened last night, Faith. To many things. The least of which is how badly I treated you."

  "It wasn't you, Ryan, it was me. I believed the man in your office that night with Erica was you. I should have known better."

  He grabbed her hands and pulled her against him, holding her tight.

  "An easy mistake to make. No wonder you were so upset that night. How did you find out it was James?"

  "Leland overheard him on the phone with Erica, and he told me what happened. I'm sorry, too, Ryan, for the way I treated you that night. It was supposed to be perfect. I was going to tell you about the baby, tell you how much I loved you and ask if you wanted to stay married to me."

  His eyes widened. "You were going to tell me you loved me?"

  She nodded. "Of course I love you. I've loved you since the day I met you. I want a life with you, Ryan. A real marriage, not a business arrangement. But only if that's what you want, too."

  He turned his head sideways as if evaluating her declaration.

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  "I'm sorry I didn't ask you to explain," she said. "You're an honorable man, Ryan, and you would have never done something like that. It's my fault." She looked down, too ashamed to admit that she hadn't trusted in her own ability to be loved.

  "What did you think when you saw that scene?"

  She sighed and pulled her hair behind her ears, then clasped her arms around her waist. "I thought what I've always thought. That you couldn't possibly be interested in someone like me."

  He pulled her against him. Their faces were so close she could see the dark flecks in his eyes.

  "I love you, Faith." His breath was a warm whisper of promise against her lips.

  She hadn't expected to hear him say it. Her heart clenched. "You don't have to say that just because--"

  He touched his fingers to her lips. "Listen to me. Look at my face.

  Believe me. I love you."

  She listened. She looked. And she believed.

  Then she cried. He held her tenderly as she let loose the emotion.

  Cried because she did believe him, because she'd finally gotten what she'd waited for her entire life.

  "I didn't think I was capable of loving anyone until I met you," he said quietly, softly stroking her back.

  Faith wiped the tears with the sleeve of her dress. "I didn't think I was worthy of love, until you loved me."

  He leaned back and shook his head, laughing. "Wh
at a pair we are.

  Two miserably lonely people, trying to be impersonal about a marriage, and both of us made it as personal as it could get."

  Then he swept her into his arms and pressed a long, gloriously passionate kiss on her lips. Faith sighed into his open mouth, their breath mingling in a mixture of love and desire.

  "Let's go home, wife. I want to get in bed with the woman I love."

  "It's seven in the morning, Ryan," she said with a smile.

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  He grinned and cocked an eyebrow. "That just gives us more time, doesn't it?"

  She threaded her arm through his and strolled from the office.

  "I guess in a few months you'll have to find someone to replace me at work," she said as they headed down the hall.

  "A few months? How about now?"

  Faith laughed. "I think I'll stay on for awhile. I have to keep my eye on you."

  He turned toward her and arched a brow. "Me? Why?"

  She stopped and threaded her fingers through his hair. "Rich, gorgeous, successful CEO? You're a prime candidate for all the gold diggers out there."

  "You worried about my fidelity?"

  "Nope." What a wonderful feeling it was to know that, to be certain of a man's love. She never thought she'd experience it in her lifetime, especially with someone like Ryan. But she did feel it.

  "Good." As they waited for the elevators he slid his arms around her waist and pulled her against him. She felt his heat and desire and counted the minutes until they could make love again.

  When his hands crept down to squeeze her buttocks, she yelped. "Mr.

  McKay!" she protested in mock horror. "Isn't that a bit personal?"

  With a wicked grin he murmured against her lips. "Damn right it is.

  Get used to it." Then he claimed her mouth and got very, very personal.

  Just the way she liked it.

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  About the Author

  To learn more about Jaci Burton, please visit www.jaciburton.com.

  Send an email to Jaci Burton at jaci@jaciburton.com or join her Yahoo!

  group at https://groups.yahoo.com/group/
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