She’d been hooked. That fast. She couldn’t escape it, but . . . what if it was magic?
Against the backdrop of her affection for El, played doubts she hadn’t considered in the midst of her quest—these feelings they both had could be some kind of illusion, so that they didn’t have to be alone. El admired Riley’s way of dealing with challenges, and she admired El’s depth, focus, and drive. El saw past her bravado and wanted more from her than that. She could see how much El had suffered and wanted her safe. They saw in each other something they wished they possessed, and knew that there were hidden meanings written in tears and scars, but was that enough?
Relationships built over years and never stopped, Riley understood, so would that be enough for a beginning?
Riley thought of her own mother and the tremendous risk she’d taken. Writing letters to violent convicts had to have been an unnerving prospect. But she must have lost her shit when Jimmy asked to think on her romantically! She had probably argued back and forth with herself about all the horror stories of naive girls being headhunted by monsters, all the dark roads such a relationship could traverse. Somehow, though, she’d seen his strength in his story. It was enough to keep her coming back to the prison to learn more about him. What she learned from those encounters was enough to put her at the gate when he was released. And how he handled the next phase of his life had been enough to make her say “yes.”
When El’s turn at the front of the queue came, she pointed at the flavor closest to her. She seemed so disappointed, but as Riley looked on, she lifted her face and took a deep breath, shouldering her pack with a determined expression.
Riley put her back to the wall just as El’s gaze swiveled to the window.
Freedom was a tricky thing—open ground in all directions, the option to go anywhere, do anything, but with absolutely no protection from shitty weather or cataclysm. How a person handled freedom, how they behaved on the open road, was a good measure of who they were.
No matter where they went or what they learned.
Mom hadn’t been afraid of Dad, because she could see he was done with the pack. He was a lone wolf who rode with caution. That had spoken to her more than any fumbling words Jerry O’Leary could smash together with ham-fisted, high school language skills.
Riley closed her eyes. She wasn’t afraid of all the wonderful things she could imagine. She was afraid because of all the terrible things that could happen, what she could lose, what might occur if she took off the armor.
“Stupid.” Riley clenched her jaw shut. El had faced every challenge to her freedom, from disrupted plans, to attackers, to the self-righteous vitriol of her own mother. El had spent years watching Riley in silence to protect her from the consequences. El had everything it would take and really, it was Riley who was lacking.
All she had to offer was rage.
Her dad would tell her that wasn’t true, but he loved her more than life and without her having to earn it.
Riley lifted her phone and typed out half the message before she thought about the implications.
How did R earn your love?
Riley hit the Send button and then spent a good five minutes crouched beside the front door hating herself for doing something so childish. She’d jumped into fights with less thought than walking through this one goddamned door, but nope. This was too much. It turned out she was just that fucking fragile.
When the answer popped on screen with the sound of shuffling papers, Riley could barely read it for the full-body cringe.
She didn’t have to earn it. I think she’s exceptional, that’s all. I just want to watch her exist, because she never disappoints. She does just fine without me, but we might have been even better together.
Riley hid her face in her knees.
Just fine without El? It was true. Riley had always done just fine never knowing about the girl in her shadow. If she had kept to her trajectory, moving from one cool experience to the next, she’d probably do just fine. She could handle anything bad that life threw at her. She would always be just fine.
Riley stood up and dusted herself off, checked her makeup, huffed a few lungsful of pure air.
Just fine wasn’t good enough.
Riley Vanator had ambition. She had drive. Everything else be damned, Riley was never going to settle for “just fine.”
Learning, evolving, growing—it all came down to being challenged, having something dropped right in the path that couldn’t be ignored. Experience had taught her how to keep the vulnerable parts hidden, but she couldn’t let go of a chance to learn what it meant to be seen. It wasn’t a risk, so much as an opportunity.
“I cannot fucking believe you had to psyche yourself up! Like, how fucking old are you? Five? Jesus, Riley!” Her muttering caught a few looks as she danced angrily in place. “Come on! Fucking go in there! Ugh!”
Someone held the door for her with a raised brow. She slid inside and stood like an embarrassed idiot in the entryway, staring at El’s back and fumbling for something suave to say. Her phone vibrated in her hand.
Where are you? I can’t stay here for long.
Riley licked her lips and knew she’d crossed the threshold—it was now or never. Their positions were finally reversed. It was she who was writing from the shadows, Riley who had stepped behind the protections unnoticed.
Turn around.
El’s phone clattered onto the table. Her back hardened into a wall of muscle as her fingers curled around the table edge. Over her left shoulder, a blue eye stared widely at the tiled floor.
Dad would call her impatient, but Riley put a booted foot right in the center of El’s wonder. “Hey there, Snow.”
As the gaze slid up her body, it triggered a shiver in Riley. Gone was the diffident little girl who couldn’t bring herself to make eye contact. El’s stare was now so penetrating it could probably gut Riley if she didn’t move.
Legs a bit weak, Riley sank into the empty chair. Her habit was always to bring up a knee, lean back, do something to upset the dynamic of serious situations, but this wasn’t a struggle for dominance. This was just the two of them sitting side by side, defenseless.
El’s breathing was shallow and swift. Her expression demanded answers. Riley reached into her pocket and set Tizóna on the table.
“You dropped this.”
El’s eyes squeezed shut, though nothing else about her face changed. “How did you find me?”
This wasn’t playing out like her fantasy, but fair enough. Riley had deprived El of a clean getaway, so she just had to accept the consequences. “I’m pretty fucking clever.”
Still as rigid as iron, El opened her eyes and stared Riley down. For the first time in the two years she’d known the girl, Riley saw confidence and strength. “If you found me, then they can too. My mother—”
“Who do you think she hired?”
El bit down on her lip as if to hold in a shriek. Tears glimmered as she seemed to piece a bleak story together. It was based in her life’s experiences of human nature to date, and it was probably a pretty tragic fairy tale. As the flicker of betrayal stoked to life, Riley reached out and touched her pointed chin.
“I’m not here to bring you back, El.”
“You’re . . . You’re not?”
“I’m here to join you . . .” Riley shrugged. “If you’ll have me, I guess.”
El’s sun-kissed face went blank. Her lips parted as if to ask why, though not a word was spoken. Suddenly flustered and uncertain why she’d ever thought herself stronger than El, Riley tangled her fingers in her unruly hair and cast around for words.
“Your mom thinks so little of you that she’d rather believe you’re just infatuated and naive and life is going to prove you wrong. Pisses me off. I mean, it’s not like I think I’m the goddess you make me out to be, but I really am . . . You know . . . Honorable and all that shit.”
A giggle erupted from El, pouring out of her until she was gasping for breath and the infection had spread to Riley. Face
burning, tongue-tied, she laughed at herself more than anything else.
“Riley?”
She had to clear her throat, suddenly more sheepish than she’d ever been in her life. “Yeah?”
“How long have you known?”
“About the blog?”
El nodded with a sweep of her dark lashes.
“Since the day you vanished.”
With a great sigh, El curled up on herself, forehead almost touching the table. “I’m so sorry if it made you feel uncomfortable. I know it was wrong to—”
“Are you kidding me?”
She couldn’t stand it anymore. This was too excruciating. Riley hooked a steel toe beneath the rung of El’s chair and tugged. The thing swiveled just enough for her to plant a hand on either side of El’s hips and lean close.
Nose to nose, she dropped her voice to a whisper. “I keep asking myself . . . if I’d just kissed you any of the times I had a chance to, would you have run away? Would you have left me behind? We could have ditched that fucking place together—”
“It’s not safe, not even now.”
“Yeah?” El’s eyes had fallen to her mouth. Riley caught the gaze again with a dip of her chin and a grin. “Because I strike you as the kind of person who gives a fuck about safety?”
“I know you. You give a fuck about mine.”
Riley swallowed. “Of course.”
“And you know I couldn’t run if I thought you would be hurt standing up for me. I had to go alone. I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing. It’s killing me.” She closed her eyes. She could smell the chocolate ice cream on El’s lips. The skin on the tip of El’s nose was soft as it traced a line along her cheekbone. A hand brushed her hair aside and sent a tingle down her spine.
The cacophony of the parlor was muted compared to the sound of El’s breathing and the steady thumping of her own heart.
“Is this okay?” She didn’t sound like herself at all, her voice was so ragged, but she couldn’t waste energy on trying to be perfect when she was just trying to get it done. “If I kiss you now, are you gonna—”
El sat forward and sent a shockwave through her. Every muscle contracted at once—fingers tangled in the belt loops of El’s jeans, toes curled in her boots, stomach clenched like she’d taken a blow. Somehow softer than she’d imagined, El’s mouth swept along her bottom lip and left her breathless. The kiss tasted like peanut butter cups, and the sigh in El’s throat was the finest sound.
“Come with me,” El whispered.
Riley had to remember how to speak, something she’d never had to do in her entire existence. “Wha? Where?”
“Anywhere. Everywhere.”
“How about my room at the Mission Hill Motorlodge?”
With a husky chuckle, El shoved her back. She had a goofy grin on her face, but before Riley could get too far, the chipped manicure dragged her back by the tassels on her jacket.
“One more for the road.”
Giddy and uncoordinated, Riley managed not to trip over everything when they finally caught their breath and rose to leave. It felt suddenly like her clothes were too small and her shoes too large, but as long as she stayed tethered to El, nothing in the universe could possibly be wrong. They meandered along the crowded street, communicating in sidelong glances and laughter, hands clasped, going no particular direction until Riley spotted her bike.
“So, uh . . .” She slapped a hand down on the top box, airbrushed with quicksilver scales. “Allow me to introduce you to Aella, my steed.”
“It’s a dragon!” El stroked the handlebars in awe.
“It’s a two-seater . . . with a hitch. Can pull a little tent trailer. Cozy bed for two, if you’re interested.”
Much to Riley’s joy, El licked her lips. “Sounds comfortable.”
Riley popped the clasp and tossed the girl her helmet. “Came with two of these too. Radio headset so we can talk or listen to music while we ride into the sunset.”
“I love her.”
“You’ll need an outfit,” Riley took the helmet back and crowned her, pulling the chin strap across and anchoring it. “Something leather and very sexy.”
El raised the shaded visor to greet her with a wry look. “Is that mandatory?”
“No, I just know that you’ll have a hard time finding anything made out of leather that doesn’t inspire me to make out with you. If that’s uncomfortable, you can always back out now. After this moment, you’re gonna have a hard time getting rid of me, to be honest.”
El had taken hold of her belt and brought their hips together with a tug. In the shade of her faceplate, she nipped at the tip of Riley’s nose and tickled her soul. “I literally ran across country and you followed me.”
“Yeah, okay, the line may have been crossed a while ago. Should have warned you. Sorry about that.”
“Stop apologizing,” El shot back, dropping the visor. “Let’s ride.”
Riley unhitched the chain and stored it, chuckling to herself. “Anyone ever tell you you’re one hell of a chick?”
She took her seat. El’s arms slid around her shoulders and a thumb stroked her pulse point. As she started the bike, two wonderful sensations collided.
A little voice crackled to life in her helmet. “Just you. Has anyone ever told you that you’re the coolest?”
“Just you.”
As they entered the hotel room, El knew she should be nervous. In this moment, where so many possibilities and desires thrashed around, a girl’s hand shouldn’t have the strength to keep order. But was that right, or was it what she’d been conditioned to believe? With her lips pressed to Riley’s, El felt an incredible strength and an urge to get as close as flesh would allow. Not a drop of nervousness flowed in her veins.
Riley had defended her honor, outsmarted their enemies, and protected her ferociously, but was tame beneath her, with a sleepy gaze and a bemused smile. When they lay down together, El ran kisses over each curve and traced landmarks with fingertips. There was a map here to be learned and a journey to make, but she was an adventurer now.
She had what it took.
“Is it all right to say aloud? To you? I’ve wanted to for so long, but I never did and . . .” Her eyes stung. She squeezed them shut. “When I was on that freight train, dangling over the trestle bridge, I kept thinking it was the one thing I regretted. Everything else made me who I am, but that one thing . . . I wish I’d said it.”
Riley gathered El’s tragic mop of streaky hair and twisted it onto the crown of her head with a single admonishment from the clicking of her tongue ring. A rubber bracelet secured the strands off her neck, and bare skin was kneaded and caressed until El’s back gave way. It was impossible to stop absorbing information, so she nibbled a studded ear and shook with the tiny tremor in Riley’s throat when she spoke.
“Say what you want, El. No one will ever tell you to shut up again. Not while I’m here. Not if they want to keep their teeth, anyway.”
Her giggle didn’t stop the words from spilling out. “I love you. You need to know that. At least, I think you do. You go from one fight to another. In between, you should know someone is waiting.”
Riley let out a hiss and sat up. Unsettled from her comfortable perch, El glanced up in time to see the tears Riley hid with lacquered fingertips.
“Fuck, you talk just like you write. I’m gonna look like a panda if you keep saying that shit.”
“A really sexy panda.”
“Maybe she’s born with it . . .”
“Maybe it’s mammalian?”
Riley’s laugh was husky, and her skin glowed bronze and rose gold in the yellow lamplight. El brought the blanket up around her shoulders like a mantle and wrestled her lover back beneath her hips, pecking each freckle with a kiss.
“We barely know each other,” Riley whispered. “I’ve done a lot of messed-up stuff in my life so far. I know that’s stupid to say, because I’m only eighteen, but . . . I don’t know. I feel a lot older somet
imes.”
El sat back, admiring Riley’s naked body with a long stare. She had a grouping of flowers tattooed in the hollow beneath her left collarbone. They trailed into the cleft at her sternum. As if to counter, a skeleton’s hand grasped the rib cage beneath her full breast, as if Death were coming from behind to seize her.
“It doesn’t matter. I know who you are now. You can’t hide who you are, Riley, it’s not something you are capable of doing. You’re like . . . you’re a tuning fork. You strike and then stand, and the world just sort of . . . vibrates around you.”
Riley’s fuchsia hair was fading to bubblegum, but the dark roots had a purple sheen to them as she shook her head in obvious wonder. “Is this going to be how it is? You’re just going to drop poems on me all the time.”
“Someone should. You deserve them.”
“How do you know?”
El sighed as she realized why Riley’s tough exterior was always in order—she had a warm, voluptuously vulnerable core to protect. “Because. Everything you’ve seen or done, as terrible or painful as it may have been, is what made this person. I know this person. She has an old soul and a strong heart. There’s nothing you could possibly tell me that would disappoint me. Not if it made this person here with me.”
Riley bent a well-muscled leg against her backside and bucked. Toppled from her throne, El was tangled up and captured, suffering the coup with a smile.
“I don’t handle compliments well,” Riley grumbled.
“I have powerful magic if I can embarrass you.”
“Yes, you do, you sorceress.”
The hungry kiss pulled a moan from her. Bit by bit, the anxiety of the last week was worked from El, and in its place warmth and joy were spreading. When the girl beckoned, she rolled onto her stomach and offered up her back. Riley’s fingers were incredibly precise, strengthened by years of bike and brawl, but perfected by tinkering. Eventually, El was dozing, her body a lump of jelly.
Riley’s tongue swept up her spine. A kiss was planted at the nape of her neck. The girl’s weight lifted from the bed and the shower rattled to life. As El listened, Riley began to sing a Spanish anthem in a low and soulful voice. This moment was perfect in every way, right down to the war she was fighting between peaceful sleep and a wakeful mind. If she rested, she’d lose the details. If she clung to the details, she’d be at the point of exhaustion.
Love Under Glasse Page 26
