Heartlands

by Kerry Watts

  ‘I’m sorry,’ he told her. ‘I’m sorry for being such a dick.’

  ‘Damn right you’re acting like a dick, you little shit! Do you know how close I’ve been to sending you back home to live with Mum?’

  Ben’s eyes widened. ‘I’m sorry.’

  ‘Right, go and get a shower, because you stink. I’ll make us a cup of tea and a sandwich.’

  Ben returned the warm smile she gave him as she walked into the kitchen. Louise pulled the last couple of rashers of bacon from the packet and opened the grill, but something in the corner of her eye distracted her. A rustle of foliage from the tall beech hedge that surrounded the bottom end of their garden.

  ‘Shannon,’ she whispered, and dropped the packet on the floor. She raced out of the back door and into the garden. Standing at the centre of the garden, she stared all around her. ‘Shannon!’ she shouted. ‘Shannon? Is that you?’ Louise moved closer, tearing away great clumps of greenery with her bare hands. ‘Shannon, I know you’re there. I saw you!’

  Maggie Malcolm was making her way to The Black Witch. She clasped her hand to her mouth and quickened her pace.

  ‘Louise, sweetheart.’ Maggie took off her jacket and wrapped it around Louise’s shoulders, then knelt close to her on the wet grass. ‘Hey, what are you doing, lass?’

  ‘I saw her, hiding. I saw her. She was right here!’ Louise began tearing at what was left of the leaves again. ‘I saw her. I know I did. Why is she hiding from me?’ Louise stopped and slumped onto the sodden ground, then turned her head to face Maggie. ‘Why is she hiding from me?’

  Maggie wiped away a tear and wrapped her arms around Louise. ‘Come on, why don’t we go inside, eh?’

  ‘No, I have to find her.’ Louise pushed Maggie’s hand away and jumped to her feet. She jogged towards their shed, tossing aside Jason’s bike and swiping things off shelves. ‘I know she’s here. I saw her!’ Louise bolted from there to the far corner, where Jason had built the decking the previous summer. She leapt up the two steps and peered over the top of the hedge. ‘Shannon!’ Aside from startling a couple of seagulls who had come down for an easy meal, there was no reply.

  Dylan was shocked by the expression on Jessie’s face when he returned to the office. The clock above the ancient slate-grey filing cabinet that looked more at home in a 1980s police drama read just shy of eight o’clock. His first thought was that Shannon had been found dead.

  ‘Thanks for letting me know.’ Jessie gave Dylan a half-smile as she hung up the phone.

  ‘Shut the door.’

  ‘What’s happened?’

  ‘Calum Bailey is dead.’

  ‘Jesus, what happened to him?’

  ‘His body was found in his car ten miles north of here. His car was upside down at the bottom of an embankment. A lorry driver reported that Bailey drove right into his path. He didn’t have a chance to brake and the lorry clipped Bailey’s car, spinning it out of control and down to where it landed. Bailey was already dead when help got to him.’

  ‘So, it was an accident?’

  ‘Lorry driver says the only other witness was in a Mercedes that drove off before he could get the registration.’

  Dylan moved over to pour himself a large mug of coffee despite the fact that he knew it would keep him awake if he drank it at this late hour.

  ‘Do you want one?’ he asked Jessie.

  ‘I’d better not.’

  Dylan sank half of the bitter liquid and told himself he would bring some from home tomorrow. As hard as he’d tried, he just couldn’t take to the budget-brand rubbish on offer here.

  ‘So, what now?’ he asked.

  Chapter Forty

  The silence of her bedroom enveloped Louise. It was deafening. She missed Shannon’s laughter. The little snort she did when she found something hilarious. Then the hiccups that came after a really hearty laugh. She had always done that, ever since she was a baby. Louise could recall the first time Shannon laughed like it was yesterday. She was six weeks old, and Louise had scrunched up a paper bag. She couldn’t remember what had been in the bag but when the paper crumpled in her hand, the sound triggered a fit of baby giggles that made both Jason and Louise laugh so hard. Jason had picked up the bag and crinkled and scrunched it until there was almost nothing left of it.

  Louise dropped to her knees and opened her bottom drawer. When she couldn’t find what she was looking for, she slid open the wardrobe door and reached up to the top shelf, stretching onto her tiptoes. She just wasn’t tall enough to reach. She went into the hall and brought the chair from the top of the stairs and placed it in front of the wardrobe door. From her new vantage point she could see the box she was looking for. She pulled it to her. She blew the dust from the top, then coughed. She stepped down and flopped onto her bed. Yes, the video was there.

  ‘Shit,’ she said in a murmur, realising her new bedroom television couldn’t play videos. Then she remembered Ben had her old set in his room.

  ‘What are you doing?’ Ben was startled by Louise bursting into his room.

  He watched her frantically try to push the video into the machine.

  ‘Wait, it’s not plugged in. You’ll break the thing if you’re not careful.’ Ben leapt off his bed, switched the plug on at the wall and then frowned at his sister. ‘What’s that?’

  Louise hugged the remote close to her chest and watched the screen in silence, a smile growing across her lips as a single tear trickled down her face. Ben couldn’t take his eyes off the screen. He swallowed hard and glanced from his sister to the screen and back. Shannon’s smiling face staring back at him was too much. He grabbed his jumper from the floor and walked out.

  Louise didn’t even notice her little brother leave. She clicked rewind and watched Shannon again and again. Louise had been so proud, and maybe even a little smug, when Shannon was chosen to play Mary in the nativity that year. Shannon looked so pretty in the costume Louise had made for her. She remembered practising the lines over and over, all two of them. She was only six, after all. When the tape wouldn’t play after she’d rewound it half a dozen times Louise hammered the button harder and harder until it spun out of control, spitting a roll of tape out of the ancient video recorder.

  ‘No!’ she screamed. ‘No, no, no!’ Louise fell to the floor and stuffed the tape back into the machine and pushed the buttons over and over. ‘No!’

  She clicked the eject button and after a loud whirring sound, the tape spluttered towards her. Louise lifted what was left of Shannon’s nativity tape and squeezed it close to her chest.

  ‘No,’ she whimpered. ‘No.’

  Chapter Forty-One

  Rob hung his shirt over the back of the chair and took his towel into the large en suite bathroom. Despite everything, he’d had a productive day. Book six was being written by hand in a cute leather-bound notebook Cassie bought him last Christmas. He wasn’t convinced at first, but the leather smell was growing on him.

  When Rob was in full flow, words took him away from his reality. They always had, and that was probably what saved him. He was glad to see Cassie fast asleep, curled up in their duvet. He toyed with the idea of sleeping on the sofa again so that she wouldn’t be disturbed by him coming to bed. The guilt Rob felt about his time with Louise still troubled him.

  The hot water trickled over Rob’s face and he stood under the flow to allow the steam to cleanse him until an ear-splitting scream disturbed his peace. He snatched his towel and raced to find Cassie, who was bent double with agony on the bed, clutching her belly under the duvet. She lifted her hand and trembled as she held it in front of her face. Her fingers were covered in blood, and when Rob ripped back their duvet he was terrified by the volume of blood soaking into the sheet.

  ‘Jesus, OK, keep calm. I’ll get help.’

  Rob was horrified. He grabbed his phone.

  ‘Help me!’ Cassie screamed and clutched her belly tight. ‘What’s happening? Rob, help me. It feels like the baby’s coming, but he can’t. Not y
et!’

  ‘Ambulance, please hurry.’ Rob gave the despatcher their details, then threw on his sweatshirt and jeans and wrapped his arms around her. He kissed her hand as she clung to him.

  ‘Help is coming. Keep calm, it’s going to be OK.’

  Rob wanted to be strong for her, but they both knew what was happening.

  ‘Mrs Taylor, hi, I’m Ruby, I’m one of the paramedics. I can see you’re in a lot of pain, darling. Take this for me.’

  Ruby handed Cassie a mouthpiece and rubbed her arm in an attempt to comfort her.

  ‘Just take some deep breaths into this, sweetheart. It’s a bit of gas and air for the pain. It should take the edge off for you until we get you to hospital, OK?’

  Cassie’s eyes were wide and panicked as she searched Rob’s for reassurance. All he could do was step back and let the paramedic do her job. He wanted to cry. Rob feared this was his punishment.

  ‘OK, Mrs Taylor, my colleague is going to get a chair and we’re going to take you to hospital, darling. You just sit still and let us do all the work.’ Ruby offered Cassie a warm smile as she took her pulse, which raced dangerously due to the heavy blood loss.

  ‘Cassie, call me Cassie.’ Cassie panted to control the pain that ripped into her. She had never felt anything like it in her life.

  Ruby’s colleague returned with the trolley and prepared it for her.

  ‘OK, Cassie, we’re going to move you onto this trolley and then we’re going to carry you to the ambulance, sweetheart.’

  Rob clasped his fingers behind his head as he looked on, helpless to do anything constructive. He didn’t know what to do or say.

  ‘I feel so sleepy,’ Cassie whispered, and her head drooped forward as she was wheeled to the ambulance.

  ‘Stay awake, darling, come on, Cassie.’ Ruby tapped Cassie’s shoulder and shot an uncomfortable glance at her partner.

  Ruby moved Cassie rapidly inside, then Rob watched in horror as Cassie lost consciousness.

  Chapter Forty-Two

  Jason slid a ten-pound note onto the bar. ‘Pint of lager and a whisky chaser, Maggie, when you’ve got a minute.’

  ‘I’ll get that, Maggie,’ Blair told her.

  ‘I’ll put it on your tab.’ She handed Jason his drinks and slid his money back towards him.

  Jason Ross spent too much time in the pub, in Maggie’s opinion, but under the circumstances she couldn’t blame him for wanting a drink tonight.

  Jason downed the nip of whisky in one gulp and waved his glass at Maggie.

  ‘I’ll take another.’ He pushed his glass back across the bar.

  Blair pulled a twenty-pound note from his wallet and held it up to show Maggie.

  ‘Leave the bottle, I’ll look after him.’

  Maggie eyed Blair suspiciously at first but, as the pub was busy, she placed the bottle between them, along with two clean glasses. She walked away after relieving Blair of his money. Jason lifted the bottle and a glass and moved to a booth away from the bar.

  ‘You’re welcome,’ Blair muttered and started to follow Jason.

  ‘I’d rather drink alone, mate,’ Jason said without lifting his head.

  ‘I’m afraid half that bottle has my name on it, so you’re stuck with me, I’m afraid.’

  Blair took a seat opposite him and refilled Jason’s glass and his own with whisky. Jason gulped it back and helped himself to another.

  ‘Thanks,’ Jason whispered, as the whisky burned his throat.

  Blair raised his glass before he took a sip. ‘Cheers.’

  The two men sat in silence, the sound of raucous laughter ringing out from the other end of the pub. Blair topped up their glasses for a third time. This would be his last. He wasn’t used to drinking whisky, and he was aware of its effects already. He took a deep breath before he spoke.

  ‘How are you coping? It can’t be easy for you and your missus. Is there any news?’

  Jason filled his glass, then offered the bottle to Blair. Blair knew he shouldn’t, but he took it to be sociable.

  ‘I don’t know how Louise is coping.’ He tossed back another and held his glass up. ‘This is how I’m coping.’

  ‘Do the police have any leads at all?’ Blair asked.

  ‘Well, if they do, they sure as hell haven’t told me. That Andrew Foster was the last person to see Shannon that night. He says she left his and doesn’t know where she went after. I think he’s lying. They found her phone and her blood in Foster’s house. Now he’s in the nuthouse and I can’t get near him.’ The effects of the alcohol had started to loosen Jason’s tongue. ‘I just want her back.’ Jason’s bloodshot eyes held Blair’s.

  ‘I know, mate, it must be shit for you right now, you and your wife.’

  ‘Louise doesn’t talk to me, hell, she doesn’t even sleep in our bed any more.’ He shrugged. ‘She’s slept in Shannon’s bed since that first night.’

  Jason’s torment was palpable.

  ‘I’m so sorry. I wish there was something I could say that might help.’

  Jason poured another nip for each of them. This one really would have to be Blair’s last, or he would suffer the consequences in the morning.

  ‘Rob, I am so sorry.’

  Louise rushed to the hospital as soon as she got his call. She understood his agony and wanted to help in any way she could. Miscarriage at any stage is awful, but Louise’s last pregnancy also ended after only eighteen weeks. She still felt the physical pain of it as if it were yesterday.

  Cassie would remain in hospital until she was fully recovered physically. She’d asked Rob to leave her; she wanted to be alone. The nurse explained that Cassie was in shock and suggested he come back in the morning, that he get some rest too. The next few days and weeks were going to be hard for both of them. But Rob didn’t manage to move any further than the corridor before he called Louise. The operation had gone well but Cassie had lost so much blood that she needed three units to combat her dangerously low haemoglobin. The sight of all the blood appalled Rob, but seeing his dead baby son’s tiny body would never leave him.

  Rob lifted his wet face from Louise’s shoulder and searched her eyes for comfort. All she could do was clasp his face in her hands and kiss his lips, then gently repeat her words.

  ‘Rob, I’m so sorry.’

  Rob lifted his sweatshirt and rubbed it roughly over his eyes.

  ‘I’ll take you home,’ Louise murmured.

  Louise stood and held out her hand to him. Without uttering a word, he stood and dropped his hand in hers.

  Blair Crawford felt guilty for the state Jason was in. It was only right that he helped him home.

  ‘There you go,’ Blair said, and removed the arm that was propping Jason up and turned to head back to The Black Witch.

  ‘You’re a good man, you,’ Jason slurred.

  Blair waited for a moment to be sure he made it inside. After watching him drop his keys twice and tip sideways into the door frame before stepping into his hallway, Blair’s conscience was clear. The walk back woke Blair from his alcohol-soaked fog. He was sure Louise passed him on the road, so he watched which direction the car was headed, because it certainly wasn’t in the direction of her house. He was puzzled as to why she would be speeding up the hill the way she was; there were only two or three houses up there, it was so remote. He wondered who it was she knew, and why she would be rushing there at this time of night.

  Louise pulled on the handbrake in Rob’s driveway. Neither of them spoke until Rob reached for her arm.

  ‘Please stay with me. I don’t want to be alone.’ One small tear trickled from his eyes and dripped from his cheek onto his sweatshirt.

  Louise lifted her hand and wiped Rob’s tear with her thumb with a soft smile and a gentle nod.

  ‘Of course I’ll stay with you,’ she whispered as she pulled him close to her and he sobbed in her arms.

  Ben was startled by the clatter of Jason’s keys landing on the table. He got up to get a glass of water only to
find his brother-in-law passed out on the sofa.

  He shook his head and headed back to bed.

  Ben popped his head round Shannon’s bedroom door and, seeing his sister wasn’t there, rang her. It went to voicemail.

  Chapter Forty-Three

  2001

  Daniel Simpson glanced at the dining room clock. He moved his sausage and mash around his plate, his appetite all but non-existent. His stomach lurched with anxiety or anticipation, he wasn’t sure which, or perhaps it was just absolute terror. He had been working towards this day for so long. The angry teenager was gone, and in his place Daniel hoped they’d found a good man; good enough to be trusted outside of Carseview. He stared at the boys who’d joined him at the table. He wouldn’t miss them, that was for sure. His thoughts had turned to Jack again several times recently. He regretted that he wasn’t getting the chance to start his life again, and he wished Jack had been given the opportunities he had been offered. But still, knowing Jack the way he did, he would have pushed them away.

  For a boy with such loving, supportive parents, Jack MacKay always seemed so angry when, in reality, he had wanted for nothing. He had never struggled to school in filthy trainers that pinched his toes and rubbed so hard they peeled the skin. He had a winter coat when it was needed, and not some cheap knock-off either. He even bitched about the holidays he was dragged away on. Daniel knew Jack had got him into this mess, but on the other hand, Jack hadn’t held a gun to Daniel’s head. He could have said no at any moment. He could have walked away and taken Sophie with him.

  Daniel should have stopped Jack grabbing her, pushing her to the ground. He knew tearing at her clothes was wrong. Sophie didn’t want Jack to touch her like that. Perhaps what Daniel did was the worst betrayal, because he had just watched her go through the ordeal. He could have said no, but the atmosphere was charged with tension and Daniel had to admit that, for the first time in a long time, he felt alive. Finally, he had power. He had control, but he let Sophie down and she paid the ultimate price for his mistake. Daniel would never forget the revulsion that washed over him afterwards. His stomach churned when he thought about it, even today. He deserved every moment of the agony he’d suffered since. It was as a result of the decisions he made that day.