Heartlands

by Kerry Watts

  Visiting the hospital had been a mistake. Cassie had told Rob she didn’t want him to stay with her, so he left her again. She said she would rather be alone. Couldn’t she see how he was hurting? What now, Rob wondered? He didn’t love Cassie the way he loved Louise. She was everything to Rob. He wasn’t going to let Louise slip away. His relationship with Cassie would have fizzled out had it not been for the baby.

  Rob couldn’t think straight. He switched off the engine and reached for his wallet. He removed the ultrasound scan picture of his son and ran his fingers over it. A single tear trickled out. All they had left now were memories of the dreams they had for their son. Rob had promised he would read to his son from the minute he was born; he would have taught him to use his words and not his fists. He would have shown him how to love and respect the women in his life. They could have watched England and Scotland play rugby and, if he was any good, he could have chosen either country to play for. He had a choice, after all. But none of that was ever going to happen now.

  Rob tucked the photo away and tried Louise’s number. When she didn’t answer, he started the engine and made his way to her house.

  Chapter Forty-Eight

  2001

  Daniel Simpson lay in bed staring at the ceiling as he contemplated the way forward. He would have to live under strict conditions but, this time tomorrow, he would be as free as he could possibly be. He couldn’t believe it when Cam told him the board’s decision. The initial feeling of exhilaration was quickly replaced with crippling anxiety, followed by terror. Cam had explained that all those feelings were perfectly normal. He listened to the morning routine clatter around him, unable to imagine what it was going to be like not to have it as the soundtrack to the start of his day.

  ‘Good morning, Daniel,’ Dr Julia Hudson greeted him.

  ‘Morning.’

  Daniel sat down.

  ‘How are you feeling? Are you nervous?’

  ‘I’m not going to lie. It’s scary, you know. This place feels like all I’ve known for so long.’

  ‘You won’t be alone. You will continue to see me for some time, and Cam Walsh, of course, will continue to support you, as you know. You will stay in the supported accommodation for as long as we all agree you need it. It’s not like you’re walking out of here alone, and you understand the conditions and restrictions.’

  Daniel liked the new name they had chosen for him. The notoriety made it impossible for Daniel Simpson to have a normal life, Tom Nicoll had made sure of that. He also made it clear to the board that he would never stop watching the man who stole his sister from him.

  Tom Nicoll was devastated that his efforts to keep Daniel Simpson in jail had failed. He watched his mother go through the horror of losing Sophie all over again. The grief was intolerable. The day they were told of Daniel’s release was almost as bad as the day they were told a body had been found. The expression on his father’s face after identifying Sophie’s body was unforgettable. So much for Harvey Goldberg’s promises. He had found another, more voteworthy cause to attach himself to. Tom felt like he was the only one left who could see through the mask Daniel Simpson wore. He knew the real Daniel Simpson. The master manipulator who had pulled the wool over everyone’s eyes. Nobody had forced him to abuse Sophie. He could have saved her, but he didn’t. Daniel Simpson chose to take his turn in their evil game.

  Tom didn’t believe Daniel’s defence that he was the victim of neglect, which meant he didn’t know what he was doing. That he didn’t know right from wrong. The influence of hardcore violence in movies was just a convenient excuse for his defence. It took two to commit the awful crime they committed that day. Daniel was not an innocent victim in all this. Had anyone ever asked him why he did it? Did Daniel even have an answer? One day, Tom would have the opportunity to ask him. He would make damn sure of that. Tom saw the monster that lay within and feared that by the time the world saw it as well, it would be too late, because by then another young girl would be dead.

  Chapter Forty-Nine

  Jason had told Jessie that he wanted to go to Dundee straight away and, after a call to David Lyndhurst, it was agreed that she could drive him later that afternoon. Jessie wasn’t happy about leaving Louise alone, but she had assured her that Ben would be back soon. She and Jason had left for Dundee to confirm whether it was Shannon one way or another. The forty minute journey from Inverlochty to Dundee had gone faster than Jessie feared it might despite the agonising silence. Jessie didn’t blame him for not talking. Of course he would be lost in his thoughts. Jessie tucked her Ford fiesta into the last available space in the small car park. She could see the fear and pain ooze from Jason as he walked, head down in front of her towards the mortuary door. She placed a hand on his shoulder.

  ‘Are you ready?’ Jessie asked.

  ‘No, but I would never be ready for this.’

  Jessie couldn’t disagree. Her question had been stupid, but it’s what people say, isn’t it? Like, are you OK? That’s another one. Of course Jason and Louise were not OK. It’s never OK to lose a child. Your life is never the same again. There will always be a part of you missing. Jessie knew that.

  ‘Mr Ross, would you like to come with me?’

  Jessie looked up to see Jason being led away by a tall, attractive, Mediterranean-looking man in his early thirties, she guessed, who she didn’t recognise. He offered her a smile of acknowledgement as he passed. Jessie reciprocated his warm greeting with a blush, chastising herself for it. She followed behind them and stood next to Jason as the sheet was removed from her face.

  Jason’s legs threatened to give way beneath him and he whimpered. That was all Jessie needed for a positive identification. No parent ever had to tell her. Their pain revealed the truth every time.

  ‘I’m so sorry for your loss,’ the handsome stranger said as the sheet again hid Shannon’s face.

  ‘No, leave it, don’t cover her, not yet. Can I have a moment alone with her?’

  The man nodded and indicated to Jessie to follow him outside.

  ‘Never gets easier, does it?’ Jessie sighed. ‘Watching families go through that ordeal.’

  David Lyndhurst’s assistant shook his head and reached out his hand. ‘It does not. I’m Benito Capello, by the way, but people usually call me Ben. Italian parents.’ He shrugged as if to explain. ‘I’m working with Dr Lyndhurst for a few months.’

  ‘Lovely to meet you, Ben.’ Jessie smiled and turned her attention back to Jason, who was now hugging Shannon’s lifeless body and sobbing hard.

  ‘I’ll go and see him,’ Ben told her.

  Jessie was touched by the gentle way he comforted Jason, and enjoyed the way he held her gaze as they left, but that was as far as relationships went. Jessie was adamant of that. No man would ever get close enough to hurt her again.

  Chapter Fifty

  Shannon’s room was cold. Louise wrapped Shannon’s blanket around her shoulders against the chill, the call of migrating birds outside. Their arrival heralded a new season. Louise wasn’t ready for that. Shannon was lost. How could the world carry on? Louise and Jason would be for ever trapped in the past. How could they have a future now? The world continued to turn, but Louise wanted it to stop so she could get off. So she could escape the pain; the gut-kicking agony of her loss. She sat on the edge of the bed and lifted her pillow to her face to smell her. She gripped the pillow so tight that she dug her nails into the palms of her hands, unaware that she’d broken the skin until a drop of blood landed on the bed sheet. Louise sucked her palm to stop the drips without releasing her grip on the pillow. She had to smell Shannon. She needed to feel her. Perhaps they were wrong. Perhaps Jason would call to say it wasn’t her.

  When Rob didn’t get an answer, he tried the door handle and found it unlocked, so he let himself in.

  ‘Jason?’ he shouted. ‘Louise, are you in?’

  ‘I’m up here,’ Louise called as his voice stirred her from her fog.

  Rob climbed the stairs two a
t a time, then found Louise on Shannon’s bed, still gripping the pillow. When Louise didn’t look at him, he whispered her name.

  ‘Louise, what’s happened?’

  Rob watched the silent tear drop down her cheek. He knelt close to her and tilted her face to him, then pressed his lips softly to hers before wiping her tear away.

  ‘Tell me, Lou.’

  ‘They found her.’

  Panic gripped Rob. His gut clenched and he wanted to run; he didn’t want to listen to those words.

  Louise’s eyes lingered on his.

  ‘They found a body.’

  Her words ripped at Rob’s heart. She needed him more than ever now, but he didn’t think he could face the truth.

  ‘Where’s Jason?’ he asked.

  Louise stared blankly. ‘Identifying her body.’

  Rob could only clasp his fingers over his mouth and exhale loudly through them.

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ was all he could say, over and over. ‘I’m so sorry.’

  Rob held her in his arms. He was surprised to find that she was no longer crying. He just held her and stroked her hair while they sat in silence.

  Chapter Fifty-One

  Eric Baldwin screwed up his eyes at the figure in the distance with their head slumped forward. When he got closer, he saw it was Ben. Usually they avoided each other because of Ben’s relentless bullying, but with Shannon missing he had to put that to one side for now. He needed to know if there was any news.

  ‘Hey, Ben.’ When his words were ignored, he stuck his fingers between his teeth and whistled.

  Eric spotted the cans and the empty pill packet as he got closer. He felt for a pulse. He was alive but unconscious.

  ‘Ben, you fucking idiot.’ He shook Ben’s shoulders, then reached for his phone.

  ‘Ambulance, hurry, please.’ Codeine and paracetamol. ‘Shit, what have you done?’

  ‘What’s his name?’

  ‘Ben Randall, and he’s taken these.’ Eric handed over the empty packet. ‘Can I go now that you’re here?’

  He walked home, bewildered by Ben’s behaviour. He was desperate to knock on Shannon’s door, but Agatha had told him not to disturb her parents. She assured him they would let him know when there was news. Eric was Shannon’s best friend, after all.

  Louise snatched her phone up from the table at the first buzz. The unknown number ID puzzled her. Rob saw her frown as he sat on the sofa finishing his coffee.

  ‘Yes, this is Louise Ross.’

  She closed her eyes and heaved a huge sigh, but Rob couldn’t interpret from that what was wrong.

  ‘Thanks, I’ll be there as soon as I can.’

  She threw down her phone and put her head in her hands.

  ‘What the hell’s happened?’

  ‘It’s Ben, he’s taken a load of pills. Eric Baldwin found him and called an ambulance. They’ve taken him to Perth.’

  Rob hugged her.

  ‘Shh, come on, I’ll take you. You’d better pack him some pyjamas and a toothbrush. They’ll probably want to keep him in overnight.’

  ‘Thank you. I don’t know what I would do without you, Rob. But what about Jason?’

  ‘Worry about that when you get back.’

  The harsh lighting above his bed made Ben cover his eyes. The blood pressure cuff tightening periodically irritated him. Ben’s mouth was so dry, and he felt sick, but he was alive. So alive, in fact, that the stench of disinfectant turned his already nauseous stomach. It felt like his brain was pulsing inside his skull, bouncing off the inside so hard it was agony. The clattering of trolleys and shouts from what Ben thought was clearly a mentally disturbed woman across the corridor didn’t help. The nurse assured him this was normal and would ease with time.

  She had also told him how lucky he was that his friend had found him when he did. He wasn’t sure if he was relieved or not that Eric had helped him. How ironic that it had been Eric. Ben had been such an arsehole to him. Seeing Louise standing at the end of his bed didn’t make him feel much better. Louise wanted to be angry. She wanted to scream and shout out that he was a selfish son of a bitch. Didn’t she have enough to deal with? Wasn’t she hurting enough? Instead, she dropped his overnight bag on the floor and moved to him. She scooped her little brother up in her arms and he clung on tight, sobbing that he was sorry.

  Chapter Fifty-Two

  Rob turned into his drive, confused by the stranger sat on his doorstep. He switched off his engine. He got out of his car and started walking towards his front door. The stranger’s gaze fixed on Rob without flinching.

  ‘Can I help you?’

  The stranger stood.

  ‘Hello, Daniel.’

  ‘My… my name isn’t Daniel,’ Rob stuttered. ‘I’m sorry, you must have me mixed up with someone else.’

  Tom Nicoll smirked. Rob struggled to find his front door key in panic. When he eventually found the right one, his hands trembled so much it was difficult to put it in the lock. Tom Nicoll laughed at the terror in his eyes.

  ‘What’s wrong, Daniel? Are you not pleased to see a face from the past? I told them back then that I wouldn’t stop looking for you, and now there’s another teenage girl missing – right in the very village they hid you. Do they know? Shannon’s parents, do they know who you really are?’

  Tom moved forward just as Rob slammed the front door shut. He hammered his fist on the door before turning to leave.

  ‘I’m sure I’ll be seeing you again soon, Daniel.’

  Rob gasped for breath. Pain ripped into his chest and his head thumped. He tugged at the collar of his shirt and gasped for air. His breathing quickened into short, sharp puffs, gulping as much air as he could take in. Rob fell to his knees, panting and struggling for his life as the world went black.

  Chapter Fifty-Three

  Cassie couldn’t understand why Rob hadn’t come to see her. Yes, she’d asked for space, for time to recover, but the text message had been clear. She needed him to collect her this morning because the doctor said she was well enough to go home. She and Rob hadn’t argued, which made his silence even more puzzling. They had so much to talk about. She wanted to apologise for shutting him out. That was wrong of her. Rob had lost a baby, too. His son. Rob had been so excited when the scan showed that she was carrying a boy. She assumed he would feel the same if their baby had been a girl, but the look on his face was amazing and he’d cried. She hoped he was OK. She had been wrong to send him away like that. She had left messages on both their home number and his mobile.

  ‘Rob, it’s me again. Look, I need picking up. I’m being discharged.’ Cassie sighed. ‘Never mind, I’ll see you at home. We should talk.’

  She nibbled her bottom lip and hoped that Louise would be awake. It would take her mum an hour to get there from Dundee where she and her father had bought a retirement villa in a development in the north of the city, and Cassie was anxious to get home to her own bed. To her own surroundings, although when she would be able to go back into the room they had only recently decided would be their son’s nursery she didn’t know. She had looked forward to filling the house with children. Even Rob agreed that five bedrooms was too much for two or even three people.

  Louise answered her call within two rings.

  ‘Hi. Listen, I hate to ask under the circumstances, but I can’t get hold of Rob. Could you give me a lift home?’

  Louise wiped sleep from her eyes. She glanced at the time on her bedside clock. ‘Yes, of course, what time do you need me?’

  Louise and Jason had talked late into the night after DI Blake had dropped him off. They had really talked. More than they had for years, it felt like. They talked about everything and nothing. It was like they saw each other for the first time since Shannon disappeared. The look on Jason’s face when he walked in the door told Louise all she needed to know. He was a shell of his former self. When Shannon’s body was released to them they would have so much to organise. As Jessie had told them, there would be a post-mortem to e
stablish what had happened to Shannon and she would keep them informed at every stage.

  Louise put her phone back on the bedside table and turned to face Jason. Last night they’d slept together in the same bed; neither of them wanted to be alone. They didn’t have sex but wanted to be close, joined together by their overwhelming grief. The thought of being alone terrified them equally, the agony of grief ripping at them.

  ‘I have to get Cassie from the hospital.’ She bent down to kiss his cheek and he reached for her arm and begged her to stay.

  ‘What? Where the hell’s Rob? He should be picking his wife up. We’ve just lost our daughter, for fuck’s sake.’ Jason’s words trailed off into tears which he hastily wiped away as he lay back down on his pillow. ‘Whatever, you go.’

  ‘She says he’s not answering his phone, and there’s nobody else.’

  Louise stroked Jason’s hair softly. ‘I won’t be long.’

  She kissed his forehead before she got up to get dressed.

  Jessie met with Dylan in the incident room in anticipation of David Lyndhurst’s findings. This was not the outcome any of them wanted.

  ‘As you know, a body was pulled from River Lochty yesterday morning, which has been formally identified as Shannon Ross.’

  ‘Have you spoken to Louise and Jason this morning?’ Dylan asked. ‘How are they doing?’

  Jessie shook her head. ‘Not yet.’