This Ain't Love: MC Romance (BDMC: Second Generation Book 1)

by A. M. Myers

  Hell, the only ones who know anything are my sister, Ria, and our mother and the information I’ve given them is limited. Ria knows more than my mother does but she doesn’t know everything. My phone rings in my hand and when I glance down, I roll my eyes as my sister’s name pops up on the screen.

  “Hey, Ria,” I answer as I stop outside the restaurant and plop down on a bench next to the front door, my stomach growling again.

  “Hey, yourself. How is my favorite sister and my little niece or nephew?” she asks and I can’t help but smile as I rest my free hand on my bump.

  “I’m your only damn sister and we’re fine.”

  She laughs. “That’s why you’re the favorite, dork.”

  “Are you saying I wouldn’t be the favorite if I had any competition?” I ask, absentmindedly dragging my hand across my belly to soothe my growling stomach.

  “I’m not not saying that…” she prompts, laughing, and I roll my eyes as I fight back a smile of my own.

  “Wow… love you, too, Ria.”

  She scoffs. “You know I love you… you just happen to also be a pain in the ass sometimes. Speaking of which, have you done that thing we talked about?”

  My stomach does a little flip as I think about the conversations Ria has been urging me to have with the father of my baby and my friends, all of whom I’ve kept in the dark for the past six months.

  “Tomorrow.”

  “Iz,” she warns and I blow out a breath, shoving my nerves to the back of my mind for now. “You need to tell them.”

  I nod. “I know and I’m going to tomorrow. I have a plan.”

  “And what is this grand plan?”

  “Don’t worry about it,” I tell her. It’s better than admitting that I have no fucking idea how I’m going to break the news to people, but I know it has to happen now. It’s time. “Hey, I need to go get some food cause I’m starving, but I’ll call you tomorrow after it’s done.”

  She scoffs again and I swear I can hear her roll her eyes. “Stop making it sound like you’re going to your own execution. It’s just a conversation, Iz.”

  “I know,” I tell her, even though I don’t quite believe it. Sure, it is just a conversation but it’s one that is going to change someone’s life completely and if I’m being honest, I’m scared shitless.

  “All right,” she sighs. “Go get your food and call me tomorrow. Remember, you got this.”

  I fight back a smile at her encouraging words. Even when she’s mad at me, she can’t help but be the best sister and give me the pep talk I need.

  “Love you, Ria,” I tell her and she laughs.

  “Yeah, I love you, too. Talk to you tomorrow.”

  After we say good-bye, I hang up and stand, shoving my phone back into my pocket as I turn toward the door of the restaurant. My stomach growls again, cramping and I sigh as I rub my belly.

  “I hear you, baby. Let’s get some food.”

  “Izzy?” someone calls from behind me.

  For the love of God, what does a pregnant woman have to do to get some food around here?

  I grit my teeth as I glance over my shoulder. A vaguely familiar man smiles when I make eye contact with him and I turn, trying to remember where I know him from but it’s not coming to me. He stops a few feet from me and an awkward silence stretches between us as I struggle to figure out where I know him from. He lets out a nervous laugh.

  “Luca, remember?”

  Oh, shit.

  Luca is a guy I went out on a few dates with right after I first found out I was pregnant and I was trying to convince myself that my life didn’t have to change. God, I was so delusional. We went out a total of three times but none of them really stand out to me because all of my focus was on continuing with the same lifestyle I was used to. The same goes for Luca, I suppose. He could have been any guy as far as I was concerned because he wasn’t important which is probably why I didn’t recognize him at first.

  “Right! Sorry, I’m a space cadet tonight.”

  He smiles. “No worries. How have you been?”

  What a loaded question.

  Not that he knows that.

  “Good,” I answer, forcing a smile to my face as my stomach growls loud enough for him to hear. He laughs, glancing down my mid-section and I offer a thanks to the pregnancy gods that despite being so far along, my stomach is still small enough to be hidden behind the loose shirt I wore for work tonight.

  “You sound hungry so I won’t keep you but I’m glad I ran into you. I’d love to grab dinner some time and catch up.”

  My smile falls away. “No offense, Luca, but I’m not really dating right now and I don’t ever double dip.”

  “I remember you saying something about that in the talk you gave me on our first date,” he says with a laugh. The speech I used to give to every man I ever went out with pops into my head. It was straightforward and to the point, laying out the fact that any type of relationship between us would be short lived and casual, nothing more than sex and a good time before I moved onto the next. There were some men who thought it sounded harsh but it was essential to curb their expectations because I refuse to get attached. That shit only leads to pain and misery. “But I thought I’d ask.”

  He stares at me, waiting for a response but I refuse to apologize for keeping my word or offer him any other platitude about how it was good seeing him because honestly, it wasn’t. Not only did he keep me from my dinner but he also tried to break the rules I laid out very clearly for him when we first met. As the silence stretches between us, he shuffles his weight from one foot to the next and runs his hand through his short dark hair with a nervous chuckle.

  “Right. Well, like I said, I’ll let you get back to your dinner.”

  I nod. “Thanks.”

  “Frigid bitch,” he mutters under his breath as I turn toward the door of the restaurant and I arch a brow as I whip around, my blood boiling.

  “What the fuck did you just call me?”

  He blinks in shock and I swear I can see his pea-sized brain struggling to catch up to the most recent twist in our conversation. I’m sure he thought that he’d mutter the insult under his breath, just loud enough for me to hear, and that I’d go home, agonizing over him and what he thinks of me but I refuse to let him get away with that.

  “Uh… I… you didn’t have to be so fucking rude. I was just offering to take you out again and show you a good time.”

  Fuck this asshole.

  “Yeah, guess what, dickweed, there wasn’t anything memorable enough about you to warrant another date so maybe you should develop more of a personality before you start acting like you’re God’s gift to women.”

  He crosses his arms over his chest, trying to appear cocky but I can see the anger simmering just under the surface. “I was just trying to get the sex I was promised, Izzy, and if you had given me a real chance, I can assure you…”

  “Let me stop you right there,” I cut in with a laugh despite the rage pumping through my veins at his comment. “First off, you weren’t promised any fucking thing. Whether or not I sleep with you is at my discretion. It is not guaranteed because you bought me dinner a few times, and I’m thinking that I didn’t miss all that much if you have to be this much of a prick to make up for your micro penis and lack of skills in the bedroom. Have a nice fucking night, douchebag.”

  I turn and walk away from him before he can get another word in, yanking the restaurant door open in my anger and marching up to the counter. As the person in front of me places their order, I close my eyes and take a couple deep breaths to calm myself down but it’s not working as well as I hoped. I have the urge to go back out there, find Luca, and rip into him again but I keep my feet rooted to the floor and clench my fist as I blow out a breath.

  “Can I help you?”

  My eyes pop open and I find the young girl behind the counter staring at me expectantly. Sucking in another breath, I push my anger away and step up to the counter to place my order. After sh
e rings me up and takes my money, I walk over to the pick-up area and sit in one of the chairs along the wall, closing my eyes again. Luca’s comment flicks through my mind but I shove it away as I rest my hand on my belly as my mind drifts to just how much my life has changed. God, before this baby came along, my life revolved around going out, having fun, and doing whatever I damn well pleased. I was going to clubs three, four times a week, having sex with any man who caught my attention but now, the only damn thing I want to do is get my food, go home, and look at baby clothes online.

  When I first met Luca, I was clinging to my former life, the one I had before those two pink lines appeared on a pregnancy test but the truth is, I was changed from the very moment I knew there was a baby in my belly, even if I didn’t want to admit it to myself. It’s so clear to me now. If I had really wanted to continue living my life that way, I could have ditched Luca and found someone on the dance floor to show me a good time or I could have flirted with the bartender who was honestly five times hotter than the asshole I showed up with but I didn’t do any of those things. Instead, I stayed on my date with boring ass Luca because I knew there was no way I would go to bed with him but I would rather not dive into the implications of that right now.

  The girl behind the counter calls my name, pulling me out of my thoughts, and I sigh as I stand up and collect my food. My hunger returns with a vengeance as I walk out of the restaurant and sigh, eager to get home and look up nursery ideas while I eat.

  “No, please,” a voice calls, full of fear, and I scowl as I look around for the source of the voice but I don’t see anything. The sidewalk is empty, too empty for a Friday night, and an eerie feeling washes over me. Before I can talk myself out of it, I drop my bag of food off in the passenger seat of my car and set off toward the direction I think the sound came from. I walk around the restaurant as another cry rings out from the alley in the back of the building and my feet stutter along the pavement. I should turn around and head back to my car, but I couldn’t live with myself if someone was hurt and I didn’t do anything to help them.

  With my heart racing, I creep around the corner, into the alley, and stop when I see three men standing about forty yards away from me, two of them advancing on the third man as he backs up like he’s trying to blend into the wall behind him. He’s shaking and a soft whimper occasionally breaks through the sounds of the city as he holds both of his hands up in surrender.

  What the hell?

  Moonlight glints off of something, dragging my attention to the knife in the first man’s hand as he takes a menacing step toward the third man. I take a step back as my heart hammers in my ears and my stomach rolls. It all clicks into place but it feels like my brain is moving through sludge as I try to think of something to do in an effort to save this poor man from his fate. I don’t have a weapon of any kind on me but I have to do something to try and stop this from happening, don’t I?

  “Please!” the third man pleads. “I can pay you back. I just need a little more time.”

  One of the men chuckles, stepping into the light, and I can’t stop the gasp that tears through me when Luca’s face comes into view. All three men turn to me in unison and Luca looks like a completely different person to the cocky little shit who just called me a bitch. This man with dead, cold eyes and an evil sneer… he’s a killer. Stumbling back, I grip the wall, my mind racing and still somehow completely blank as I stare at his face, trying to understand what is happening right now but I can’t make it make sense.

  Luca hands the knife to his friend before turning back to me with a frown as he pulls a second blade out of his boot. “Take care of him, Gio. I’ll handle the girl.”

  He doesn’t even finish his statement before Gio shoves the third man against the wall, covers his mouth with his free hand, and plunges the knife into his chest. The man’s muffled scream sears itself into my mind and I cry out, taking a few more steps backward as I try to process the scene unfolding in front of me. Gio pulls the knife out and sinks it into the third man again and again, making sure there is no way he’ll survive this ordeal. Blood soaks the front of his shirt and drops onto the pavement beneath them, staining this spot with a horror that nothing will be able to erase. Water splashes onto my hand and I glance down as a single drop rolls across my skin and drips off the tip of my finger to the pavement.

  What is that?

  Reaching up, I brush my fingers over my cheeks, realizing that the drop of water was my own tear as more fall from my eyes and Luca shakes his head as he begins slowly closing the distance between us.

  “You shouldn’t have come out here, Izzy…” He looks almost regretful and the implication of his words slam into me with the force of a bullet. Oh, God… he’s going to kill me, too… because I saw everything… because I can identify him…

  My heart jumps into my throat as I stumble back again, my mind racing.

  Run!

  Someone, somewhere, screams the word, or maybe it’s only my own mind screaming at me but either way, I choose to listen - turning and taking off down the alley as fast as I can in my boots. It’s not fast enough and I stumble, trying to stay upright.

  Damn these shoes!

  I glance back, compelled to see how close Luca is to me and I find him a little ways back, marching toward me with a look that sends ice whipping through my very soul. I stumble again and when his eyes meet mine, he picks up the pace, advancing toward me too quickly. Terror claws at me, shredding me to pieces as I struggle to get away from this madman. Oh, God, I’m not going to make it. Why did I come back here? Why didn’t I just go home and mind my own damn business?

  Run!

  I push my legs to go faster as I glance behind me again. Luca is so much closer this time and he lunges for me but I’m just out of his reach. A sob tears through me as I turn back to the street in front of me, praying to God that I can make it in time. Pain blooms in my chest and spots dance in my vision as I try to push myself to go faster, be stronger but I’m at my limit and I know it. I turn to glance back at Luca again but before I get a good look at where he is, he slams into me and knocks me to the ground. Pain explodes through my body and I scream, hoping we’re close enough to the street that someone will hear me.

  “Shut up,” he hisses, flipping me to my back and slamming his hand over my mouth as he presses the blade of the knife against my throat. Tears leak down the sides of my face and I close my eyes, thoughts of my mama, Ria, and my friends running through my head. “You should have stayed the fuck inside.”

  Clearly.

  God, I’m such an idiot.

  Luca presses the knife harder against my skin and I feel my flesh tear underneath the blade. It’s not a big cut but I know it’s just a preview of what’s to come.

  “Bet you’re wishing you weren’t such a bitch to me right about now, huh?”

  “Actually, I’m wishing I had punched you in the face,” I whisper against his hand, thinking about how I could be safe and cozy at home right now, going over baby names or thinking about the nursery instead of lying in this dirty alley, about to die.

  My mind fills with thoughts of my baby, how it will never even get a chance at life because its mother is such an idiot and something springs to life inside of me. The fight that left my body when I saw Gio plunging that knife into the other man’s chest returns with a vengeance and I know I can’t go down without a fight. My baby isn’t able to fight for itself yet so it needs me to do it. I struggle against Luca, hoping I don’t end up injuring myself more in the process but my movements take him by surprise and the knife pulls away from my skin for just a second but it’s enough. Bucking my hips, I shove him and somehow manage to get my foot between us, kicking him off of me as the blade slices through the air.

  He lands on his ass a foot or so away from me, disoriented, and I don’t waste any of the few precious seconds I have as I scoot away from him and scramble to my feet again. Black spots dance in front of my vision as I take off running again but I block them out
, focusing on the street in front of me. Just a few more feet… I just need to get there.

  Luca’s silence unnerves me and my feet falter as I risk taking a peek back at him. He’s sitting where I left him, his expression murderous and full of one singular dark promise. It tells me everything I need to know. A man like Luca, who does whatever it is that led him to this scene tonight, won’t just let me walk away.

  I saw too much.

  I know too much.

  That thought rings in my head as I burst onto the sidewalk, scaring the hell out of a group of guys standing around and bullshitting with each other. I collapse against the restaurant, the spots in my vision getting bigger as the guys approach me.

  “Yo, you okay?” one of them says but I can’t muster up the energy to answer him and as the world spins around me, all I can think about is my sweet little baby and the life it will never get to lead because I’m such a damn moron.

  Chapter Four

  Isabelle

  “Okay, sweetie,” Katie, the nurse who has been taking care of me this evening, says as she walks into the room with a clipboard in her hand. Her smile is soft and I’m sure it’s meant to be comforting and probably is to most people but after everything that has happened to me tonight, it doesn’t bring me any peace. “I’ve got your discharge paperwork right here and as soon as I get your signature, you’re free to go.”

  She turns the clipboard to me and hands me a pen. I take it silently and scribble my name by the “X” at the bottom of the page before handing both back to her. She glances down at it and nods before looking up at me again with that same kind smile. I really wish she would stop.

  “Remember to take it easy this week and rest as much as possible. Your body has been through hell and it’s okay to not be okay.”

  I nod. “I will.”

  “And…” She pauses, placing her hand on my uninjured shoulder and giving it a reassuring squeeze. “For what it’s worth, I’m so sorry this happened to you.”

  It’s not worth much.