Then There Was You: A Single Parent Collection

by Gianna Gabriela

  “Getting settled in?”

  “Yeah, thanks.” I look behind me to make sure my mom’s not outside before turning back to my granddad. “Mom looks amazing. She seems so happy.”

  “She is. She loves her job with the florist, and your dad’s left her alone since she filed for divorce. We have enough evidence that I told him if he doesn’t disappear, he’ll be arrested for domestic abuse. He’s no dummy. He’s stayed away from us, away from her.”

  I let out the breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. “That’s good. She already seems more confident.” We work side by side in silence. I’m not sure how much time passes, but after a while I feel Tiny’s nose butt the back of my head. “Oh excuse me, I didn’t realize I was in your way.” He lets out a little bark-snort noise as he trots between us and out into the yard, lifting his leg all over everything. “I promise he won’t do that forever.”

  “I know, I’m not worried about it. He’s a good boy. He’s got to eat a ton, huh?”

  A laugh slips past my lips. “He eats about fourteen cups a day, which reminds me, I’ll need to head to the pet store tomorrow to get him some more food.”

  My granddad gets up, grabs Tiny’s rope toy, and throws it across the yard. My big dork gallops toward the rope and picks it up, taking it back to my granddad and dropping it at his feet. They repeat that move a couple more times before we head into the house. Mom and Grandma are making dinner, and the scent of Grandma’s homemade chicken fried steak makes my mouth water. I set the table and then sit in the living room while they finish cooking. I tip my head back and feel my eyes get heavy.

  I come awake with a start. Sweat dots my brow and my heart races, and I realize my grandma is standing in front of me.

  “Sweetheart, are you okay?” Concern is written all over her face.

  “Yeah I’m fine.” I stand up and as the cobwebs clear, I wrap my arm around her slender shoulders and walk with her into the dining room. They all know I was shot, and none of them were happy when I told them not to come, that I was okay. Neither bullet wound was life threatening, with one to the shoulder and one to the leg. I shake off those thoughts because honestly I don’t like thinking or talking about it, though I can’t help dreaming about it sometimes.

  I pull out my grandma’s chair and get her settled before heading into the kitchen to help my mom bring out the dishes. I’ve missed her cooking. That was always one great thing about my mom—she is an excellent cook. “This looks great.” I kiss her cheek before carrying a bowl of homemade mashed potatoes and the gravy boat into the dining room.

  The old wooden chairs groan as we all sit down to eat. My grandma holds out her hands, “let’s join hands and say grace.” We do as she asks and hold hands and bow our heads. “Lord, thank you for reuniting our family. Thank you for bringing our beautiful daughter home to us and for keeping our grandson safe as well. I pray that our son Jacob is looking down on us, happy that our family is together again. Thank you for this food, may it nourish us and give us strength. In your name I pray, amen.”

  My Uncle Jacob was sixteen when he died; he was out riding his bike and someone wasn’t paying attention and hit him. According to my granddad, my mom had a really tough time with it. She was fifteen at the time and worshipped the ground her brother walked on, and she still misses him every day.

  I look down at my food and let out a happy sigh. My mom makes the absolute best chicken fried steak—it should be illegal, it’s that good.

  “Brock, do you have any plans to meet up with any old friends while you’re in town?” my mom asks with a hopeful smile on her face.

  The truth is the way I left I don’t really have any friends left here. I looked Cale up on social media and saw that he’s a counselor at a drug and alcohol treatment facility in Moline. It looked like he was single, which was a bummer—I had been hoping he and Kat had finally hooked up.

  I never looked her up because she was Ripley’s best friend. It was cowardly, but I was afraid I’d see pictures or posts from Rip, and I didn’t want to see her. “I’m not sure. Cale works in Moline so I might try to meet up with him.”

  “Anyone else?” Urgh! I know what she’s getting at, but we’re not going there. I shake my head while casting a pleading look to drop it. Her face falls. “Oh.” My mom surprises me when she throws down her napkin and gets up from the table. I get up and follow her into her bedroom.

  “Mom, what is it?” Her eyes glisten and she looks so freaking sad. “I’m sorry if you don’t like my answer, but you know how hard it was for me to leave her.” The sudden pressure on my chest aches, and I rub it, hoping it’ll go away. “Reopening those wounds, for me or her will only cause more pain.” The ache only increases, but I ignore it, the same way I have all these years. Grabbing her hands in mine, I say. “You understand that right?”

  “She came to the house.” My hands spasm around hers. “She was so sad honey. She begged to know if we knew where you were.” Mom takes a deep breath. “When I told her you went into the Marines, she looked shattered. I went back inside, b-but y-your dad went to the door. He told her you left because of her and said he hoped she was happy.” Mom closes her eyes before reopening them. “When I looked out the window she just stood on the sidewalk, staring at nothing. She didn’t budge , but after a few minutes a blond-haired boy helped her to a car and they drove away.”

  My pulse races, the pain in my chest threatens to explode. “Why are you telling me this?” I swallow down the lump in my throat.

  “I don’t know? I-I guess I-I thought maybe you two could find some closure. I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking. I shouldn’t have said anything. I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad.”

  I wrap my mom in my arms. “I know you weren’t, I just think too much time has gone by. Maybe it’s better left alone.”

  “Whatever you want honey.”

  I give my mom a squeeze. “I appreciate you trying, but I’m finally happy and ready to move on.” I’ve apparently become the ultimate liar because my mom smiles and nods her head like she believes me. “I’m going to take Tiny for a walk.” She nods, kisses my cheek, and then tells me she’s going to clean up after dinner.

  Whistling for my dog, I wait for him by the front door. He trots up, his tail swishing back and forth when he sees his lead. While we walk, my thoughts are all over the place. I think about Rip, and about her dad and wonder how she and her mom are doing. He was such a good guy, and was so important to me. If not for him, who knows where I would’ve ended up—though in the end, look where I ended up anyway.

  I pick up the pace and begin jogging down the road. Tiffany flashes through my mind, and then Carly. Carly was my first “real” girlfriend after Ripley. We only dated about six months. She broke it off because I couldn’t fully commit. Now there’s Tiffany, and she’s starting to get a lot more serious than I’m ready for. Maybe this time away from her will put things in perspective.

  On that thought, I head toward home.

  Tiny jumps out of the cab of my truck and I lead him into the pet store. We make our way slowly through the store and as always, people approach us, wanting to see him. I don’t mind it, and he thrives under all the attention he gets. We move toward the dog treats and I’m trying to decide what to get when I feel someone watching us. I turn and see a little boy looking at Tiny from the end of the aisle. His cornflower blue eyes remind me of Ripley’s, and his blond hair is on the shaggier side.

  Down on my haunches next to Tiny, I say, “His name is Tiny. You can pet him if you want. He’s really nice.” The little boy moves just inside the mouth of the aisle. “I promise he’s super friendly.” The boy inches toward us.

  “Why do you hab a horse in here?” His big eyes blink up at me and a pang hits me in my chest. At first I don’t get it, but then I laugh at his question.

  “He is as big as a horse, isn’t he?” The boy nods his head. “Tiny’s a Great Dane. He’s just a really big dog. You can pet him.” His little hand reaches up and str
okes the top of Tiny’s head, and my attention hog immediately starts licking the side of the little boy’s head. “Tiny, stop.” Thank God my dog actually listens.

  “His tongue feels scratchy.” The boy’s giggles make me smile.

  I open my mouth to speak but right then, a guy flies around the corner and gets down in front of him. “Bud, you can’t take off on me like that, okay?”

  His little face grows serious. “Okay Uncle Jonah, I’m sorry. Did you see the big dog?”

  I take a better look at the guy in front of me, and he freezes when he looks up at me. Time seems to stand still, and every bit of torment the guy threw at me comes rushing back. He stands up and picks the boy up in his arms. “Brock? How…How are you?”

  My gut clenches. “I’m good, just on leave and came to help my mom move into her new place. She left my dad a while ago.” Why the hell am I talking to him? What’s the matter with me? I glance at the boy in his arms and realize it’s because I didn’t want to scare the kid by beating his uncle’s ass. “Uncle? I thought you were an only child.”

  His eyes are darting all over the place, they’re avoiding mine, as he laughs nervously, and it’s got me curious. “Alex is the son of a really good friend of mine.” He smiles at the boy. “We need to go bud so we can meet your mom for lunch.” He turns his attention back to me. “It was good seeing you Brock.” In a few steps down the aisle they’re gone.

  Talk about a weird encounter. I expected him to treat me like he always had—talking shit, making smartass comments about Rip and whatever else he could think of—but instead, he acted friendly. He was babysitting for fuck’s sake.

  We get a couple bags of dog food, and I get the guy who rings us up to help me get them out to the truck. Back at my grandparents’ place, I let the dog into the house then go back out to grab the bags of food, sticking them in the garage. Inside the house, I find a note my mom left. Going to work. Grandma and Grandpa are out running errands. See you later. Love, Mom.

  In my room, I decide to lie down and take a nap, and my dreams are filled with images of the past.

  7

  RIPLEY

  After grabbing the files I put together for our new patients, I stick them in the tray so they’re ready to go when they come in for their consultations tomorrow. I began working as a file clerk at Plastic Surgeon Associates three years ago through a temp agency. After my contract was up, they hired me as a full-time benefited employee right away, which is great because of Alex. This past year, he had to have his tonsils and adenoids out because he kept getting strep throat, and I shudder to think what those bills would’ve been had we not had the good coverage we do.

  As a receptionist, I do it all, including filing, checking patients in, and running insurance checks. This wasn’t the career path I wanted to take, but I flunked out of Western my freshman year. After that, things just sort of spiraled out of control.

  Thank God for Jonah and his fiancée Jessica, who also happens to be my co-worker. I set them up and it was love at first sight. They’re an amazing couple, and so good to Alex and me. My sweet boy has always referred to Jonah as Uncle Jonah, and lately has been calling Jessica Aunt Jess.

  Something’s up with Jonah though, and I don’t know what it is. Yesterday Jessica and I met him and Alex for lunch, and he was acting edgy and nervous. Jessica dragged him outside at one point, maybe to grill him, and when they came back, he was fine; it was weird. Then, last night, Alex went on and on about having seen a dog the size of a horse when he and Jonah went to the pet store before meeting me for lunch.

  Jonah’s been such a good friend and it’s sad it killed my friendship with Kat. She never approved of my friendship with Jonah, never believing he had changed, or not wanting to believe he had. She did move back here after college, but any time we’ve seen each other, she’s ignored me. I even tried to introduce her to my son, but she blew us off. I will say that after my dad died, she sent flowers, but they were for my mom.

  We’ve been doing okay since he passed. At first, we weren’t. It was a huge shock when he had the massive stroke, and he was gone before the ambulance got there. I had to be strong for my mom and for Alex. He was only three and a half when it happened, but he knew his Papa was gone and not coming back. My dad loved Alex so much, and Alex loved him just as deeply.

  My mom has a group of ladies she socializes with and they’ve been a big support system for her, which I’m grateful for. It doesn’t hurt that she’s got the most adorable grandson in the history of grandsons, and he can make anyone smile.

  We don’t live with my mom, but we live close by in a two-bedroom duplex. It’s not the nicest place, but it’s our home.

  “Ripley?”

  I turn to Dr. Roberts. “Yes, I’m sorry. Did you need something?” He’s a nice man to work for, and always understands if I need to take time off for Alex.

  That little boy has been my reason behind every decision I’ve made since I knew he was coming. That first year was so hard, and I really struggled mentally and emotionally. Before, I had my life all mapped out, and every piece of it had Brock in the equation. Alex was supposed to be a child Brock and I created out of love. So many nights I’d lie in bed with Alex sleeping next to me and wish he were Brock’s child so I’d always have a little piece of him.

  “Ripley are you okay?” Ugh, I spaced out again.

  “Yes, sorry Dr. Roberts. What did you need?”

  He hands me reports to fax over to the hospital and some labs to scan into the electronic charts of the patients. Once that’s done, I make a few follow-up calls, and before I know it, it’s four o’clock and I’m off work for a nice long weekend. I took tomorrow off because Alex has his four-year-old well-child checkup and Lucy, the pediatrician’s receptionist, already warned me that he’d probably get his shots that are due before kindergarten. If that’s the case, afterward I’ll take my little man out for pizza at his favorite place, Ed’s Pizzeria.

  When I pull up into the driveway of my duplex, the front door opens and Alex runs out. “Mommy, Mommy you’re home!” I scoop him up in my arms.

  “I missed you, you little monster! Were you good for your uncle?” Jonah is so great with him and loves my little guy so much. He’s actually the unofficial best man when he and Jessica get married, and I’m his best woman, which cracks me up.

  “Yep I was. He took me to the store and bought me a new moo-bie.” Of course he did—he spoils my kid rotten.

  “Well I hope you told him thank you.” Jonah greets me at the door. “Another movie?” My son has an arsenal of movies, but his favorites to watch over and over are Monsters, Inc. and Monsters University. He loves to roar like Sully while he runs through the house.

  “What can I say? I can’t seem to tell that boy no.” I can only shake my head.

  “Thanks again for keeping him today, Mr. Big-Time Sports Blogger.” Jonah went to school for journalism and with his love of sports, he started a blog that has become pretty popular. He’s gotten to talk to and interview some pretty big sports stars, and it seems that everything he touches turns to gold.

  He could’ve played for the NFL, but at the beginning of his sophomore year, he blew out his knee and couldn’t play again. Without football, he focused on school and kept on track to graduate. I thought for sure after everything that went down the summer after our freshman year in college, he’d move on and quit talking to me. I was too prone to drama and he always swooped in to help. Instead, our friendship grew and grew.

  Luckily, with time, I got my shit together, mentally and emotionally. I feel stronger than I have in a very long time, and it feels so good. I’m thankful I had my shit together before my dad passed away; I’d have hated for him to go feeling like I wasn’t going to make it. I never meant to hurt and disappoint them. Even when I was at my worst, they still loved me like crazy, and then when Alex came along, they loved him even more.

  Alex sometimes stayed the night at my parents’ house, and he and my dad were the best of
buds. Since the day Alex was mobile, he followed my dad around everywhere he went.

  I shake off the thoughts of my dad as Jonah starts to speak. “Ha! You know me, I’m the real deal. We had a good day.”

  “He hasn’t stopped talking about the huge dog you guys saw.” Jonah turns away from me. Strange. I place my hand on his arm. “What’s up with you? You’ve been acting strange today. Do you not want me to ask you to watch Alex?”

  He turns around to me. “God no. You know I demand to watch him whenever I’m able to. As a matter of fact, I wanted to see if we could keep him Saturday night. Jess wants to take him to see that troll movie, unless of course you wanted to take him.”

  “No, that’d be great. He loves staying over. Maybe we could meet for breakfast Sunday morning?” Without Alex home, maybe I could go see my own movie or go get a massage, maybe even clean the house and do laundry—I’m such a party animal.

  “Sounds great, and I’ll let you know when we’ll be here to get him.”

  “Awesome. You better go, Jessica said she was making you dinner.” He kisses my cheek, his familiar scent of Old Spice Swagger fills my nostrils. The scent is Jessica’s favorite on him, and buys it for him all of the time.

  He calls for Alex. “Hey buddy I’m leaving. You be good for your mommy okay?”

  Alex throws his arms around Jonah’s neck when he squats down to Alex’s level. “I will Uncle Jonah. I lub you.” He gives Jonah a kiss on the cheek.

  “I love you too. I’ll call tomorrow.” I shut the door after he walks through it and watch my son give me a goofy smile before running back to the trucks he was playing with. While he plays, I run upstairs to grab laundry. How I can have so much for just two of us—especially when one of us has clothes that are a third the size of the other’s—is beyond me.

  After throwing it in, I head back into the living room and sit on the floor to watch Alex drive his trucks all over everything. When my dad died, I was afraid Alex was going to miss out on having a positive male role model in his life, but then I realized that he had two: Jonah and his dad, Jeffrey. Yes, they have lots of money, are members of a country club, and his mom gets a new car every year, but they are honestly the nicest people I’ve ever met.