Junkyard Dogma (The Elven Prophecy Book 4)

by Theophilus Monroe

  I bit my lip. “Yeah, she’ll buy those. She’ll use all her princess money to get us a generator, too. Maybe several of them. Hell, if we’re lucky, maybe she can pull some strings and get those handsome twins on HGTV to renovate our whole fucking house. It’ll be a regular redneck oasis in no time.”

  Layla and I dropped our tents on the ground. “Are you okay, Caspar? I’ve never seen you so…sarcastic about, well, everything.”

  “Me? Sarcastic?” I raised my left eyebrow as I unpackaged one of the tents. “Never!”

  Layla chuckled. “I see what you did there.”

  I sighed. “I guess it’s just I feel so fucking helpless about all this shit. I can’t use any of my powers here because, well, if I do, the fairies will know and find us, which means your father will know where we are. And now, well, I guess I have to worry about the goddamn government finding us here, too. With their resources, it’s probably just a matter of time.”

  “So this is all about you not being able to use your powers?” Layla asked.

  I shook my head. “It’s more than that. Never thought I’d have to rely on a sugar momma to provide for me. Besides, what’s the point? The way I see it, you’re right. This is temporary because pretty soon, one of two things is going to happen. I’ll either have to give up and do what the President wants or I’ll end up in prison, wearing orange and taking it up the butt from some guy named Cliff.”

  “Cliff?” Layla asked. “Why does it have to be Cliff?”

  I scratched my head. “I don’t know. That was the first name that came to mind. It sounds like the name of someone who might be in prison, and I can’t imagine anyone named Cliff being on the receiving end of such extracurricular prisonhouse activities.”

  Layla unrolled the tent and started putting together the poles. “Neither of those things is going to happen, Caspar.”

  “You really think we can just defy the government without consequences? Think about it, Layla. The way it looks, it’s my fault that all those soldiers died at the rivers when the elven legion came through. I didn’t just kill Fred. I killed all of them. The fact that I’m not in federal custody already is a small miracle.”

  “You’re a man of faith, Caspar,” Layla said, looking at me with wide eyes. “After all that has already happened, everything you’ve seen and all you’ve done, you mean to say you don’t believe in miracles anymore?”

  I grabbed one of the tent poles that Layla assembled and started fishing it through the channel on one of the tent's corners. “What do you think, Layla? That all of this is just some big test of my faith?”

  “Could be,” Layla said. “In your Bible, do you know anyone who did anything worthwhile who didn’t endure a time of testing? You said it just before the government showed up at St. Ensley’s.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t even remember what I said. I was just talking.”

  “If I heard you correctly,” Layla said, “and if everyone else heard you clearly, you made the point that it was one man, a son of a carpenter, who sparked a movement that ultimately led to overcoming the mighty Roman Empire.”

  “Yeah,” I said. “But they also arrested him and crucified him. And I hate to break it to you, but I’m not Jesus. I’m not going to rise again on the third day.”

  “But what about his disciples?” Layla asked. “Didn’t they change the world?”

  “They did,” I said, nodding. “But almost all of them were also killed for their faith. The only one who wasn’t ended up in exile. But at least he was on a nice island and had cool visions from God to get him through it. He didn’t have to set up camp in some junkyard. As far as I know, John the Apostle never killed anyone.”

  “You didn’t kill anyone, Caspar,” Layla said. “You saved my life!”

  “You were there, Layla!” I protested. “You saw what I did. How can you say—”

  “My father is to blame for that,” Layla interjected. “If Fred’s blood or the blood of those soldiers is on anyone’s hands, it's my father’s. Not yours.”

  I shook my head. “Not sure a jury of my peers will see it that way.”

  “They certainly won’t,” Layla said, “if you don't believe it yourself!”

  With the last pole in place and the first tent set up right, I grabbed one of the stakes, shoved it through one of the loops along the tent’s base, and stomped it into the ground. “I just can’t believe the President is so gullible. He really thinks that your father is going to help strengthen the military? After all we told him before? After Brag’mok told him how your dad basically exterminated all the giants?”

  “I suppose we all are tested in our own ways,” Layla said. “It seems that my father tempted him, successfully, with the allure of power.”

  “When your father betrays him, and he will, it will be too late. He’ll already have given the elves a chance to get a foothold here, and plenty of time to practice their abilities with all of the Earth’s magic at their disposal.”

  Layla nodded. “Too late for your government, perhaps. But I don’t have any faith in any of this world’s governments.”

  “There aren’t any saviors on Capitol Hill,” I said. “Never have been.”

  “I believe in you, Caspar. I always have. But despite telling you as much a hundred times, you don’t seem to get the message. When all else fails, when your government fails, you’ll still be there.”

  I snorted. “Yeah, probably locked up and taking it up the tail from Cliff.”

  “Shut up, Caspar,” Layla said. “Stop being such a baby.”

  “I’m not being a baby!” I shouted, clenching my fists. “I’m being a realist!”

  “That’s what you call this? Being realistic? Because your faith has always been based on what’s realistic, right? You talk about a man who rose from the dead. You’ve healed people! Remember Grace, Cecil’s daughter? What about Doris, that woman who was having a stroke in your church? What you did, there, totally realistic, right?”

  I huffed. “I suppose not.”

  “Everything you ever thought was real has been blown out of the water, Caspar. A few months ago, you didn’t even believe that elves were real, or fairies, or magic. Much less did you believe you could subdue powerful, magical elementals, or fly across the city like a superhero. How can you say what’s realistic when you don’t even know much about what’s real at all?”

  “Dammit, Layla…” I put my hands on my hips.

  “Damn what, Caspar?” Layla asked.

  “I’m here trying to have my own little pity party, and you’re pissing all over it with belief and hope.”

  Layla smiled. “That’s why I’m here.”

  “To piss on me? Sorry, Layla, I’m not into that sort of thing.”

  Layla shook her head. “See, there you go. You’re trying to be funny again. That’s the Caspar I know and love.”

  “How about we just finish these tents?” I asked.

  Layla put her hand around my waist. “Or we could climb inside this one…”

  I chuckled. “What exactly do you have in mind?”

  “Well, usually, when you’re pitching a tent for me, I’m pretty good at handling it.”

  “See, now you’re the one with the jokes,” I said, taking Layla by the hand and ducking into the tent. “One question, though.”

  “What’s that?” Layla said, laying down beside me.

  “Would it be too weird if I moaned the name ‘Cliff’ in the middle of it all?”

  Layla poked me in the side. “You better not, you doof!”

  Chapter Three

  Layla rested her head on my chest while we caught our breath. Funny how a little extracurricular fun with my hot elf wife could clear my mind.

  I was still conflicted. I didn’t have a clue what we should do next. We only had a week before the President’s ultimatum expired. However, as I’d learned in AA, the only thing I could do was the next right thing. At the moment, that meant putting my pants back on.

  I gave La
yla a quick peck on the lips. “I guess we’d better get the rest of these tents put together.”

  Layla sighed. “I was thinking we could go again!”

  I chuckled. I almost took her up on the offer. I wasn’t sure if I had the stamina for it, but I was willing to give it a go until the sound of ruffling fabric and a few curse words stole my attention.

  Slipping my shirt back over my head, I stepped out of the tent.

  I started laughing.

  One of the tents was over Aerin’s head, and she was flailing around and grunting in frustration.

  “Aerin?” I asked. “Need a little help with that?”

  Layla, also laughing her ass off, went over to Aerin and helped her pull the tent off her head.

  “How the hell are these dumb things supposed to stand up?” Aerin asked with a look of total exasperation.

  “Well,” I said, pointing at the pile of poles and stakes at her feet. “I think you need to use those to hold it up.”

  Aerin grunted. “I wondered what those things were for.”

  I smiled. “I suppose Princess Nightshade hasn’t ever pitched a tent before?”

  Aerin shook her head. “This is what men are for! No, I’ve never pitched a tent. Why on earth would I have ever wanted to do that? That’s what houses are for! Stupid tents!”

  “It’s not as difficult as it looks,” I explained, putting the poles together.

  “About time you two decided to take your hands off each other and do something!”

  I cocked my head. “Aerin, we weren’t trying to…”

  “Never mind,” Aerin said. “I’m just annoyed.”

  “Obviously,” Layla quipped. “We can handle this, you know.”

  Aerin nodded and stomped off back to the farmhouse.

  “I think you should go talk to her,” Layla said.

  “Talk to her?” I asked, raising my eyebrows. “Why? She’s just a little out of her element.”

  “I don’t think it’s just about the tents, Caspar,” Layla said.

  “Well, what do you think she’s so bitchy about?” I asked. “She’s been like this ever since we got here. Ever since…”

  “Ever since the wedding?”

  I nodded. “Yeah. Pretty much.”

  “Has it ever occurred to you, Caspar, that this isn’t exactly what she wanted for her life, either?” Layla asked.

  I scratched my head. “Didn’t really think about it. Wasn’t this whole marriage thing what she wanted ever since she showed up?”

  Layla nodded. “But I don’t think she wanted it like this. You and me together, her always on the outside looking in.”

  “Layla,” I said. “You aren’t suggesting we let her join in…”

  Layla looked at me blankly. “Are you really that dense, Caspar? That’s not what I’m saying at all.”

  I tossed the tent pole I was assembling on the ground. “I know. I get it. But wouldn’t you be better to talk to her about that?”

  Layla shook her head. “You’re the one she thought she was destined to marry, Caspar. I’m the one who, well, got in the middle of it all.”

  I nodded. “All right. You got this?”

  Layla smiled. “I can handle the tents.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t know what I can say to her. It’s not like I have any answers that will make this whole situation normal.”

  “It isn't about giving her the answers, Caspar,” Layla said. “She just needs someone who will listen to her. I’m not saying either of us should sleep with her. But is it really so bad to be a friendly ear?”

  “All right,” I said. “I’ll be right back.”

  Layla nodded and picked up the pole I’d just thrown down.

  I jogged back to the farmhouse and stepped inside.

  I heard her sobbing in her room. The farmhouse only had two bedrooms, and since I was only intimate with Layla, it made sense for her to have the other. I knocked on the door. She didn’t respond, so I walked in. Aerin was sitting in a corner, her face in her hands.

  “That little patch of the floor looks awfully comfortable,” I said. “Mind if I join you?”

  Aerin wiped her wrist across her upper lip, probably to gather her snot. Gross, I thought, but we’ve all been there. She scooted a little to her left, which I took as permission to sit beside her.

  “I’m sorry about all this,” I said, sitting down and leaning against the wall, my legs bent in front of me with my feet flat on the floor. “I know this isn’t the kind of marriage you wanted.”

  Aerin shook her head. “It’s not that. Not entirely.”

  I shrugged. “Then what is bothering you?”

  “All right, so it is sort of related to the marriage. This just isn’t what I ever dreamed about as a little drow girl, you know? I always imagined if I was ever in a multi-spousal situation, that I’d be the one with multiple men at my service and whim. Not one wife, sharing one mere male with another elf.”

  “If it’s worth anything,” I said. “It wasn’t exactly what I imagined either.”

  “When you were a little drow girl?” Aerin asked, chuckling a little as she swallowed her sobs.

  I laughed. “I know it doesn’t compare. I wanted to marry Layla already. I just hadn’t proposed yet or anything. But at least I’m still with the girl I love. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to be the third wheel, bound to the marriage, always watching us but never really a part of it. Not romantically, at least.”

  Aerin shook her head. “I’m so embarrassed.”

  I cocked my head. “Why would you be embarrassed? You’re totally justified to be upset about this.”

  Aerin sighed. “It’s silly. But in our culture, for a woman to pine after a man is shameful. Women are supposed to be able to choose for themselves the men they will marry—males of good stock, likely to produce quality heirs. As a princess, it was always assumed that I’d have my choice of any man. But then there was the prophecy.”

  “And now you’re stuck with me, a human who’s in love with someone else." I put my hand on Aerin’s back.

  She jerked away. “Don’t touch me, Caspar. This is too hard as it is.”

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean…”

  “You don't feel that? When you touch me?” Aerin asked.

  I bit my lip. “I did before. But after everything… I don’t know. I still feel that attraction when Layla touches me. But I felt that before already, so…”

  “It’s a part of the marriage ritual. An almost irresistible attraction. It’s supposed to ensure that we complete the binding.”

  “So our binding is incomplete until we consummate the marriage?” I asked.

  Aerin shrugged. “I don’t know for sure. I’ve never heard of anyone amongst the drow who got married, whose lives were bound together by these rings, who didn’t consummate their relationship. Isn’t the wedding night supposed to be the best part of the wedding day?”

  I scooted over a little. “I had no idea. I felt it before. At the wedding. When you touched me…”

  “I felt it too,” Aerin said. “And that’s the thing. I still do. Do you know how much restraint it takes just to stop myself from ripping off your clothes right now?”

  “It’s the rings, though,” I said. “It’s not like you’re really attracted to me.”

  Aerin took a deep breath then wiped another tear from her right cheek. “That’s the thing, Caspar. I’m not sure. It’s not like you’re especially attractive physically. You’re not awful looking, but…”

  I cocked my head. “Thank you, I think?”

  Aerin chuckled. “Look at it from my perspective. I grew up always being told I’d have my choice of men. Then we sensed the magic you were wielding. We suspected the chosen one had come. I knew the prophecy. I was supposed to marry the chosen one.”

  “So you’re saying you’re just attracted to the idea of being with the chosen one?” I asked.

  Aerin bit her lip. “No. Sure, I mean, there’s a certain allure to that.
But like I said, I’d always had a choice. Then, suddenly I didn’t. I was just expected to marry you. So, like a good drow princess, I did my duty.”

  “I don’t know, Aerin,” I said. “Did you really have a choice? You said you almost married King Brightborn once.”

  Aerin nodded. “He was my choice once. Briefly. He was charming. I know now it was all just an act. He was using me, and I fell for it.”

  “Did you choose someone else?” I asked. “Before I showed up, was there some other drow man, or woman I suppose, you had your heart set on?”

  Aerin shook her head. “No one. Not yet. I’d been looking, hoping… But no one showed up. Then when I realized you were the chosen one, it was like I was fine with it. I don’t know why, Caspar. Maybe it’s the fact that you’re different. Maybe it’s because you have a good heart. Perhaps it’s because you aren’t weak-minded like most drow males are raised to be. Or, I hate to say it, maybe it was because you were with someone else. Wanting what isn’t yours, you know?”

  I nodded. “The forbidden fruit.”

  “Exactly,” Aerin said through a sigh. “Whatever it was, I fell for you, Caspar. I didn’t want to. I didn’t plan on it. It took me by surprise. I won’t say I love you or anything like that. But I was moving in that direction.”

  I snorted. “I had no idea. I just thought you were sort of in love with the whole idea of being married to the chosen one. Fulfilling the prophecy, all that.”

  Aerin shook her head. “Not at all. If anything, I resisted it at first. Not outwardly. No one else knew about my reluctance. It was you, Caspar. But I also knew you were in love with Layla. I couldn’t just take you from her. So when she suggested we bind ourselves together, all three of us. Well, she’s cute enough. I figured we could all grow to love each other. But then I saw how single-minded you were about saving her when she went back to her father. When she was infected by that blade. I saw how she looked at you, even when she thought she was dying. I realized I couldn’t ever have your heart in the way you had mine. That any notion of she and I loving each other, any idea that all three of us might love one another equally wasn’t going to happen.”