Junkyard Dogma (The Elven Prophecy Book 4)

by Theophilus Monroe

  The giants were building a fire so they could roast some asparagus. They were more excited to find out the whole pee smell thing worked than the phenomenon warranted, but like celebrating every win, it’s worth experiencing even the most trivial joys that life has to offer.

  This wasn’t just a celebration of the victory. It was a celebration of Aerin’s life. She was dead, technically speaking, but I could hear her voice in my head as long as my hand was on her sword. She was still with us, even if not in the flesh. She insisted that her sacrifice be celebrated, not mourned.

  I pulled the Eclipse as close to the party, behind the farmhouse, as I could without it bottoming out on the ground. First, I tried my Alternative Rock station. Ace of Base again. Dammit. I switched the radio to classic rock.

  Bon Jovi’s Livin’ on a Prayer.

  Given how much prayer had played a role in everything, I figured it was appropriate. Besides, I was in the mood to rock out.

  I wasn’t the only one.

  Agnus jumped onto the hood of the car and, banging his head, started singing along.

  “We’ve got to hold on to what we’ve got,” Agnus belted out, “it doesn’t make a difference if we’re naked or not!”

  I chuckled. He might be botching the lyrics, but I wasn’t going to correct him this time. I think I might have liked his version better, anyway. If you’re naked, I’m not sure exactly what he thought Bon Jovi meant we were supposed to be holding on to…

  Some questions are best left unanswered. Agnus could sing it however he liked.

  Rina and Jag were dancing together to the music. I’d never seen him so happy. Not since the last time I saw him flex in the mirror. But this was a different kind of happiness, something he gleaned from someone else. I was happy for him.

  Was Rina ready for the responsibility to take Aerin’s place? Aerin had told me she was her choice to lead the drow. I’d tell Rina the next day. Tonight, I was intent on allowing everyone to enjoy themselves.

  I felt a need to connect with Aerin. It was as simple as laying my hand on the hilt of her sword. My sword now, I guessed.

  Have a minute to talk? Aerin asked inside my head.

  “Sure,” I said. “Let me get somewhere a little less loud.”

  I stepped into the farmhouse. Still plenty of noise, but at least in the farmhouse, I could hear myself think.

  Do you think I could take over for a little? Just an hour or so.

  “You can do that?” I asked.

  I can if you allow it. You still hold the majority influence over your body, of course. But I think I’d enjoy one night to…you know…celebrate.

  I scratched the back of my head. “Okay, but if you have to pee, try not to look.”

  Aerin laughed. You caught me. I was going to spend the whole hour standing in front of the mirror totally naked.

  I shook my head. “You’re welcome to if you’d like. But let me warn you, you might be a little underwhelmed.”

  I doubt that! Aerin exclaimed. But seriously, this situation won’t be easy for either of us.

  “Harder than navigating a polygamous marriage?” I asked.

  It will be hard in different ways. Did you know that I can read your memories?

  I scrunched my brow. “That has the potential to be embarrassing.”

  I didn’t realize how often you used to stare at my butt when I wasn’t looking.

  I snorted. “I’m a man. Sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

  It’s fine! Aerin said. I know you love Layla. But it’s nice to know you appreciated the view.

  “Who wouldn’t?” I asked. “But seriously. I don’t know what to say. After what you did. You gave your life to save us.”

  I gave my body, Aerin said. But life goes on, just in a different way.

  “Will you ever be able to move on?” I asked.

  I can’t say for sure. This isn’t something I’ve ever done, and I haven’t known anyone else who did it. I only knew it could be done. But someday, when all this is over, I hope I can.

  “Give me another hour. I’d like to dance with Layla and let her know what’s happening. No making out with my woman while you’re at the helm, Aerin!”

  I wouldn’t think of it!

  “You wouldn’t?” I asked, raising my eyebrow.

  Well, I might think of it. But I’d never do it. No worries, Caspar. No booze, either. I know the rules. Remember, I can read your mind. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do. Really, I just want to talk to my dad. We’d barely been reacquainted before all this happened. I just need to say something to him, maybe give him some closure.

  I glanced at Elrand. He’d come back here for the funeral rites the drow had conducted while I was still passed out in the woods. Now he was perched on the top of one of the junk heaps, staying mostly to himself. He’d just lost his daughter. I couldn’t imagine what he was going through. The pain radiating off of his dejected posture was almost palpable.

  “Take as much time as you need, Aerin.”

  Thank you, Caspar.

  I glanced at Aerin’s sword in my hand. “What should we do with it?”

  You’re the only one who can wield it. In anyone else’s hands, it’ll just be a normal sword. But you should be careful about how you use it. Every time you do, it will change our relationship. It may give me more power. It may have other effects I don’t realize. Don’t use it unless there’s no other option.

  I nodded and placed the sword against my bedroom wall. “Good to know.”

  Remember, Aerin said before I let go. In an hour…

  I smiled. “I won’t forget.”

  I went back outside and climbed into the Eclipse. I changed the music back to my go-to nineties alternative jam.

  Iris, by the Goo Goo Dolls. I nodded, and for some reason, my eyes teared up as I looked at Layla through the car window.

  So beautiful. So perfect.

  I stepped out of the car and, extending my hand, I looked Layla in the eyes. “Would you dance with me?”

  A small smile cracked at the corners of her lips. “It’s about time you asked.”

  Layla took my hand and rested her other hand on my shoulder. I pulled her close to me as we swayed back and forth to the song.

  Layla lowered her head, resting it on my chest. “I love you, Caspar.”

  “I love you, too.”

  Agnus circled us, nuzzling against my shin as we danced. He started singing.

  This time, for once, he got the lyrics right.

  The Story Continues

  The story continues with Dogma Days of Summer coming soon Amazon and Kindle Unlimited.

  Author Notes - Theophilus Monroe

  June 15, 2021

  When I hear the phrase “Junkyard Dog” the first thing that comes to mind is a professional wrestler, back before the WWF had to change its name (after losing a trademark lawsuit to the World Wildlife Fund) to the WWE. He was a hulking man who wore a collar and chain. He dragged that chain with him when he went to stage and, not surprisingly, it was often used as a “prop/weapon” in his matches. I might be showing my age, here, but those were the “golden years” of pro wrestling, back when none of the wrestlers would admit that pro wrestling was “fake” (okay, “staged”).

  Caspar is still dragging the “chain” of his former life here, the old dogmas that bound him when he was in ministry, not to mention the double-ball-and-chain of having two wives. Add to that, he feels collared by the prospect of facing criminal charges and, of course, the fact that the furies intend to unleash their wrath on the mid-west. And, of course, he’s living on a literal junkyard.

  Now, I have a confession to make. I’d like to say I thought about all these deep, philosophical, implications of the title before I wrote the book. Nah. I was just trying to come up with more “Dog/Dogma” puns and this one jumped out. So, I ran with it. Sometimes, at least in my experience, it’s just that simple. When the shoe fits, you wear it.

  I toyed with the idea of sending Casp
ar to prison. He’d meet Cliff. Take up crochet as a hobby and get a few black eyes (how you get more than a couple is a challenge he’d certainly meet). But this would have been too much of a detour in the story to put him through the whole trial, conviction, introducing new “prison” characters only to leave them behind, etc. Still, it could have been fun. For the reader. And maybe Cliff. Not so much for Caspar. The way I saw it, he’d been through enough hell as it was—and I was eager to get some magic badassery involved.

  Speaking of badassery, the stage is now set for the “Dogma Days of Summer.” I’m really excited to see our former minister/chosen one start kicking ass and taking elf names that he can’t pronounce. Not to mention, if his relationship status was “its complicated” before, well, what we saw happen at the end of Junkyard Dogma will undoubtedly add to the complexity of what might be the strangest love triangle in history.

  I must also mention that I wrote about half of this book while recuperating from COVID. Thankfully, I have great editors. Things got a little loopy there, for a while, but I’m good. Salute to all my homies who’ve also endured the brunt of the pandemic. I just poured a little Mountain Dew on the floor, special for you. That’ll get sticky. Thankfully, no more shortage of Clorox wipes.

  Thanks again to Michael for his collaboration on this one and for all the good folks at LMBPN who’ve taken my zany story and taken it to the next level. And, of course, thank you to my wife and three sons who’ve endured more late-nights in front of the television while I busted my butt to get this one done. And, of course, thank YOU—yeah, you—the reader for sticking with this series! I’m humbled, every day, when I think about the fact that you’ve devoted a small portion of your life to reading my books.

  Best!

  Theo

  Author Notes - Michael Anderle

  June 29, 2021

  Thank you for both reading this story and these author notes in the back!

  So, Theophilus had COVID…

  I really don’t have anything to beat that. I went through some trying legal contract stuff (while very much emotionally painful and a lot of work – it (usually) doesn’t come with a chance of death.)

  Theophilus is also right that we owe a lot to you, our readers, who picked up this book and continue this journey with us.

  THANK YOU. (Again… It needs to be repeated. We do not get to enjoy our profession without you willing to pay for our stories.)

  Anyone besides me want to watch a priest kick some ass?

  Good, it’s coming!

  Have a great week or weekend, whatever works for your time of week!

  Regards,

  Michael Anderle

  Other Books by Theophilus Monroe

  The Druid Legacy

  Druid’s Dance

  Bard’s Tale

  Ovate’s Call

  Rise of the Morrigan

  The Voodoo Legacy

  Voodoo Academy

  Grim Tidings

  Death Rites

  Watery Graves

  Voodoo Queen

  The Legacy of a Vampire Witch

  Bloody Hell

  Bloody Mad

  Bloody Wicked

  Bloody Devils

  Bloody Gods

  The Legend of Nyx

  Scared Shiftless

  Bat Shift Crazy

  No Shift Sherlock

  Shift For Brains

  Shift Happens

  Books By Michael Anderle

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